What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno/Transcript

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Knuckles What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno (transcript)

This is a transcript from the Knuckles episode, "What Happens in Reno, Stays in Reno".

[Opening credits roll, with Wade playing a gong.]

[Scene: Hallway, night]

[The episode picks up where the previous one left off, with Wade telling that Knuckles is coming.]

Wade: It's done. Knuckles is heading your way.

[Scene: Pete's penthouse, night]

[ Mason and Willoughby are preparing to attack Knuckles, once he'll come out from the elevator.]

Willoughby: We're in position.

[Scene: Elevator]

[Knuckles looks up to the elevator and sees something weird is going on.]

[Scene: Hallway, night]

[Wade watches as the elevator is arriving on the penthouse.]

Wade: He's almost in the penthouse. As soon as you have him, you send my mom and my sister down to me, and please... just don't hurt him.

[Scene: Pete's penthouse, night]

Mason: No promises. [he chuckles]

[Once the elevator arrives in the penthouse, Willoughby fires at the elevator, laughing. Once she stops, she and Mason approach the elevator, noticing something feels off.]

Willoughby: What the...?

Mason: What is that?

[Once the smoke clears, they that they were shooting at the red mascots suit.]

Knuckles: Peekaboo.

[They look upside and see Knuckles hanging by the elevator roof. He knocks them out with his super strength.]

Wade: [on phone] Oh, shoot and darn it. I forgot to tell you guys one thing.

[Knuckles removes his earpiece, revealing he knew about their plan all along.]

Wade: [on phone] Knuckles has been listening the whole time.

[Scene: Hallway, night]

Wade: You messed with the wrong warrior.

[Scene: Pete's penthouse, night]

[Knuckles charges up his chaos energy and his eyes start to glow.]

Knuckles: Big mistake. Huge.^W

[Knuckles charges towards Mason and Willoughby, who fires her pistols at Knuckles. He knocks her off and duels Mason, easily overpowering him. All set to "Saturday Night's Alright (For Fighting)" by Elton John. Meanwhile Wade sneaks in the penthouse and crawls to his family.]

Knuckles: [hitting Mason with his own gauntlet] Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!

[Wade arrives to save Wendy and Wanda.]

Wendy: Wade! How did you get here?

Wade: I snuck in the back stairs, then, using my cat-like reflexes and natural ability to be overlooked, I was able to get in the room. Besides, they were more focused on Knuckles anyway. I'm here to rescue you guys!

Wendy: Oh, thank God. We really need your help.

Wanda: No, Mom! We don't. I'm gonna get us outta here on my own.

Wendy: Wanda, please don't start that again.

Wade: Don't be a hero, Wanda.

Wanda: I am a hero!

[Wade takes out handcuff key.]

Wade: I've accidentally locked myself in those cuffs so many times, Tom gave me a master key! [Wade unlocks Wendy]

Wendy: Wade, you saved us!

Wanda: What are you doing?

[Wade tries to unlock Wanda as well but she resists.]

Wanda: No. Wade, stop. Stop touching me! Stop! No--

Wade: Stop moving your hands! If you stop moving your hands, then I--

Wanda: I'm doing a thing right now!

Wade: What are you doing?!

Wanda: I'm doing an FBI thing, where I slip my own hands out of these handcuffs by dislocating my thumb. Here I go.

[Wanda proceeds with her technique, which is very painful.]

Wade: Just let me do it! It'll be way less painful and quicker!

Wanda: I'm almost there. Ow!

Wade: You're screaming in pain.

Wanda: Ow! Ah! I'm almost there!

Wendy: Let your brother rescue you!

[They see Mason being tossed to their location by Knuckles.]

Mason: This isn't over yet.

[Mason runs back to the fight.]

Wanda: No! I'm not letting Wade rescue me! No freaking way!

[Mason jumps in the air and lands in front of Knuckles.]

Mason: KNUCKLES!!!

Knuckles: Let's do this.

[Mason attacks, as Knuckles blocks him. He sees Willoughby approaching from a reflection of a golden bowling ball. Knuckles leaps in the air knocking out both agents, but they quickly get up.]

Knuckles: This ends, now!

Willoughby: Okay. Fine. Fine, you win.

Wade: Knuckles, are you okay?

Knuckles: Wade! Stay back.

[Willoughby take out her ring gun and fires two rings on Knuckles.]

Knuckles: Not this time.

[Knuckles punches the rings sending them in different directions. The rings open and the two agents hang on for their dear lives as things start to get sucked in the rings, as Knuckles hangs on the roof.]

Mason: Get off me!

Willoughby: No, I can't get sucked into that thing! HELP MEEEEEEE!!!!!

[She loses her grip and falls to the ring portal, as Mason laughs. He then look front and sees Willoughby coming through the other ring.]

Mason: This ain't good.

[Willoughby strikes Mason, making him lose his grip and they both fall to the ring portal. The portals collide and close, leaving only Mason's gauntlets on the floor.]

Wade: Dude! That was awesome! I can't believe the plan worked. We did it!

Knuckles: Wade Whipple, you must hurry. Your Tournament of Champions is about to conclude!

Wade: The tournament? You mean--

Knuckles: Yes. Your greatest victory still awaits. This is your last chance to face your ultimate foe! The schmuck known as your father, in a ritual trial by combat on your own personal battleground!

Wendy: I'd like five minutes alone with him in a trial by combat.

Knuckles: The time has come for you to prove your worth as a champion, and a warrior.

Wade: You know what? You're right. This is it. This is finally my chance to--

[Wanda finally unlocks herself, and gets up.]

Wanda: Haha! I got it! [laughs] Told you I would do it!

[Wanda shows her broken thumb, which disgusts everyone in the room.]

Wendy: Wanda, put that thing away!

Knuckles: Impressive battle wound, Wanda Whipple. [gives her a thumbs up]

Wanda: Thanks, Knucks. [gives him a thumbs up too, with her broken hand.]

[Scene change: Bowling alley]

[The crowd cheers, as they await for the finals to begin.]

Gary N. Sinclair III Esq.: [offscreen] We are here at the final round of the Bowling Tournament of Champions in beautiful Reno, Nevada, or as I like to call it, "Las Vegas for losers." Once again, the heavy favorite's from overseas, where they bowl on the wrong side of the lane.

[Cut to the hosts.]

Gary: I'm talking about the team led by 27-time winner and legend of the lanes, Pistol... Pete... Whipple!

["Pistol" Pete enters the tournament, as "Sirius" by Borna Matosic intensifies.]

Gary: Wow. Look at that swager.

Dylan Beagleton: Wow, look at the attitude. I mean, this guy is all confidence.

Gary: This crowd is goin' nuts for Pistol Pete.

[ Susie looks at him disgusted.]

"Pistol" Pete: Are you ready for a show?

[The crowd cheers.]

Dylan: Jordan^W. Gretzky^W.

Gary: Yes.

Dylan: Brady^W. These are the names you think of when you think of athletes that have defined their sport. And with a win today, I would argue that Pistol Pete's face should be chiseled up there on the Mount Rushmore of bowling as well.

[Pete greets his fans.]

Mrs. Barnes: [to Bill Barnes] Next time she needs an after-school activity, we're doing piano lessons.

[Cut to the hosts]

Gary: And in the challenger's corner, we have a young upstart team looking to have their first taste of championship glory. It's fronted by a small-town Montana sheriff's deputy, who also happens to be... Pistol Pete's long-lost son!

Dylan: What?

"Pistol" Pete: Allegedly.

Gary: Now, here's a good father-son story. Rumor has it that Pistol Pete abandoned his son at a local TJ Maxx^W, choosing a bowling career over his parenting duties.

Dylan: I wanna say, regardless of how you feel about childhood abandonment, and I'm against it.

Gary: Hm. Me, too.

Dylan: The deals at TJ Maxx cannot be beat.

Gary: I wish my dad left me at a TJ Maxx. But, you know what? Let's settle this score once and for all and bring out our challenger, Mr. Wade Whipple!

[Cut to the audience, as Wanda and Wendy get up from their seats to cheer for Wade.]

Wanda: Yes! Wade! Here he comes everybody! Get Ready!

[They see that Wade doesn't appear, and the music stops.]

Gary: Sorry, where is he?

Dylan: Uh...

Gary: Is he not... I gave him the-- Mr. Wade Whipple!

[The song restarts.]

Dylan: Just like that scene in The Sound of Music^W.

Gary: L-Let me do it again. [the song pauses] Maybe he didn't hear it. Let me hear it. Uh... [the song restrats agian] Let's settle the score once and for all and bring out Wade Whipple!

[Pete looks at his watch.]

Gary: Wade? Wade Whipple.

[The song fades out and everyone sits down.]

Wanda: Oh, man.

Gary: Wade Whipple?

Dylan: [offscreen] I-I don't have him. I don't have eyes on him.

[Cut back to the hosts.]

Gary: What do you mean stretch it out? I can't stretch it out... We're supposed to fill time.

Dylan: You know what? [whispers] L-L-Let's do some of the fun facts.

"Pistol" Pete: Oh. Oh, what a pity. It appears my opponent... is officially a no-show. Which means, once again, I... [he grabs the trophy] am the winner!

Wade: [offscreen] Put... that trophy... down...

[Wade enters the arena, sporting a new bowling outfit.]

Wade: Dad.

Gary: [offscreen] Wow.

Dylan: [offscreen] Wow.

Gary: [offscreen] Okay.

Dylan: [offscreen] Lotta drama.

[Wade tries to look at his father, but he can't due to the trophy blocking his view. He moves a little forward so he can see his dad.]

Gary: [offscreen] Oh! There he is.

Wade: Surprised to see me?

"Pistol" Pete: Can't say that I am. You never were the sharpest thorn in the briar patch.

Wade: I don't have any idea what that means, but I'm sure it's insulting.

"Pistol" Pete: If I wanted to insult you, dear boy, I'd tell you you are in over your head, out of your league, and 10 pins away from the most humiliating defeat of your life.

[Cut back to the hosts]

Dylan: Oh, snap! I heard that!

Gary: Ooh! That's gotta hurt! I heard that one!

Dylan: In front of everybody!

[Cut back to the Whipples.]

Wade: And if I was to insult you, I'd say your game's gotten weak, your costume smells funky, and, quite frankly, your accent sounds fake.

Wendy: Sick burn, baby!

Wade: [to Wendy] Really? Even the last one?

[Cut to the hosts.]

Dylan: Oh! Should we be allowed to hear this? Should we be-- I mean, this is private!

[Cut back to Wade and his father.]

"Pistol" Pete: I'm going to give you one last chance, Wade, to do what I did all those years ago and just... walk... away. Because there's no way you can win, dear boy. You see all these lovely people? Every single one of them is here because they love me. [the crowd cheers for Pete] And they have absolutely no bloody idea who... [chuckles] the hell you are! [he laughs haughty]

Wade: Oh yeah, old man? They will.

[Wade pushes his father away, and rips off his trousers, revealing his green shorts, as his family, the Barnes cheer for him.]

[Cut to the hosts who are surprised off guard.]

Gary: Wow!

Dylan: Whoa! Those are some athletic-looking thighs!

Gary: I mean, but get them in the sun.

Dylan: I don't think I'm supposed to be looking at that.

Wade: Let's roll.

[The crowd cheers.]

Susie: Yes, Wade!

Wanda: Wade, put your pants back on, dude. It'll be cooler.

["Pistol" Pete turns to the crowd and waves them.]

Crowd: "Pistol" Pete! "Pistol" Pete! "Pistol" Pete! "Pistol" Pete! "Pistol" Pete!

Wanda, Wendy, Wade and Susie: Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple! Wade Whipple!

[Cut back to the hosts.]

Gary: It's Whipple v. Whipple as the Tournament of Champions finals are officially underway.

Dylan: Can't wait.

[Cut to Pete scoring a perfect strike, and then doing his iconic finger gun move.]

Gary: [offscreen] Oooh! Right out of the gate!

Dylan: [offscreen] Here we go. This is some great bowling action.

"Pistol" Pete: That's how is done.

[He high fives with his partner. The crowd cheers his name, except for the Whipples and the Barnes. He then turns on Wade and "shoots" him with his finger gun.]

Susie: Man, your dad's a real turd bucket, huh?

Wade: Yeah, I've recently come to realize that.

[Pete sits down next to his partner.]

"Pistol" Pete: Better keep up, dear boy. That is, unless, you're ready to wave the white flag and surrender. [scoffs]

Wade: I'm Wade Whipple. Lieutenant Deputy of the smallest town in Montana. I don't know the meaning of the word "surrender." [to Susie] Water bottle.

[Susie gives him her water bottle.]

Wade: I have not yet begun to ball.

[Wade drinks a bit of the bottle, before giving it back to Susie. He takes out his old bowling ball, he rolls it... and delivers a perfect strike.]

Wanda: Yes! Yes!

Dylan: Wade not backing down at all! Look at the balls on this guy.

Gary: Oh. tіt for tat.

[Scene change: National Bowling Stadium, bar]

[Meanwhile, Knuckles sits on the bar, looking at the tournament proud for Wade. Then a blue mascot sits next to to him.]

Blue mascot: Can I get a beer, please?

Bartender: Yeah, sure.

Knuckles: [looking at the mascot] Hmm... This truly is a strange little planet.

Bartender: Can I get you anything, honey?

Knuckles: Yes. Bring me your largest challah bread.

[Scene change: Bowling alley]

[Cue a montage of both Whipples shooting strikes, with "Pick Up The Pieces" by Average White Band playing on the background. Susie shoots a strike as well and giggles exited. After Wade shoots another, Wade imitates playing a violin, before changing to a bow and arrow and "shoots" his dad.]

Gary: Pistol Pete looking a little worried over there.

Dylan: Oh, yeah, he looks intimidated. You know, I think he's, uh, got a little bit tougher competitor than he thought.

Wade: Gettin' nervous yet, old timer?

"Pistol" Pete: Nervous? Ha! Don't be ridiculous.

[Meanwhile on the audience.]

Wendy: Woo-hoo! You go, Wade! And whatever happens, I'm proud of you!

Wanda: Wade! Please! Please don't choke today! Just please don't do it! Do great! Okay?

Wade: Okay!

[Scene change: National Bowling Stadium, bar]

[Meanwhile, Knuckles on the bar eats a big loaf of bread. Suddenly, he hears people screaming outside.]

Knuckles: Hm. That sounds troubling.

[Scene change: National Bowling Stadium]

[Knuckles runs outside and sees multiple explosions. Knuckles is caught by a giant tendril. A big mech approaches Knuckles, piloted by The Buyer, who's here to finish the job, himself.]

The Buyer: Knuckles the Echidna. It's an honor to meet you at last.

[He flicks Knuckles all over the place, before throwing him to the sign of the Tournament of Champions, rendering him unconscious.]

The Buyer: I thought you'd give me more of a fight.

[Scene change: Bowling alley]

[Cut back inside as "Pistol" Pete getting his ball ready.]

Dylan: [offscreen] This is it. It's all going to come down to this final frame.

"Pistol" Pete: [to himself] You got this, Pete.

[He rolls his ball, which pauses in slow motion to show the cup inside it. He strikes all pins... except for one.]

Wade: Yes! I love you, pin!

"Pistol" Pete: Oh, for heaven's sakes.

Gary: [offscreen] That miss gives Wade a chance. If he can get a strike here, he could win the tournament.

[Frustrated, Pete turns and sits down to his chair.]

Wade: You should pick up this spare, no problem.

[Cut to the hosts' booth.]

Dylan: Wow! Those are fightin' words right there.

Gary: Sick dig!

Dylan: Someone's about to get slapped! Great use of the term "sick dig", by the way.

[Pete prepares for his spare and he hits a final pin.]

Wade: Unflappable.

Dylan: [offscreen] This is so dramatic.

Gary: [offscreen] Because as it comes down to this, if Wade Whipple bowls another strike, he'll be on his way to a perfect game...

[Cut to the hosts.]

Gary: And a tournament championship.

Dylan: Not to mention an emotional victory over the man who left him a fatherless, stunted, utter shell of a human being. And the question is, does Wade have the strength to finish this fight?

[Cut back to the arena.]

"Pistol" Pete: Well, do you, dear boy? Are you strong enough to strike down your own father in battle? To do whatever it takes to claim that championship trophy? Or are you just another schmuck with a nickname? "Wade the Warrior"? [laughs]

Wade: Oh, I know I'm strong enough, dad.

"Pistol" Pete: Really?

Wade: Because all my life, I've learned from great warriors. I learned from a mother who never stopped fighting for her family. I learned from her sister, who's honestly a little bit annoying, but amazingly fearless and headstrong. But most of all, I learned from the greatest warrior in the entire galaxy, who taught me that real warriors wouldn't exist if not for those who came before them, showed them the way, and never stopped fighting, no matter how hard the battle became. That's why I never would've found my greatest strength, my true power, without my friend... Knuckles the Echidna.

[Cut to the hosts.]

Gary: Now, Dylan, normally it doesn't take this long for bowlers to bowl.

Dylan: Yeah, I agree, Gary. It seems as though he is monologuing. That's highly unorthodox.

[Cut back to the Whipples.]

"Pistol" Pete: Nice speech. But you left out one small detail. You're a loser, Wade. You always have been, and you always will be.

[Pete sits down and Wade prepares a his final shot.]

Wade: Well, would a loser do this?

[Wade rolls his ball, which stops in slow motion as everyone watches in agony. He ball strikes all pins expect for one which shakes for a moment... and falls down!]

Wade: YEEEEEEEESSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!

[Everyone cheers for Wade, and Pete looks shocked.]

Gary: Oh! Unbelievable! Oh! The upstart has done it!

Wade: Oh my God. I did it. I WON! I'M THE CHAMPION!!!

[Suddenly the wall crushes, as Knuckles is thrown through that wall.]

Dylan: Whoa! Duck!

[Dylan and Gary hide under their table.]

Wade: Knuckles?

Knuckles: Wade Whipple! Get your people to safety before they--

[He is grabbed by The Buyer's tendrils and dragged outside, as everyone panics and flees in fear. Susie hides behind the chairs, until her parents get her to safety. "Pistol" Pete is hiding too.]

Wendy: Wade, where are you going?

Wade: To help my friend!

[Wade runs outside to help Knuckles.]

[Scene change: National Bowling Stadium]

[Wade sees Knuckles captured by the Buyer's mech.]

Wade: Knuckles!

Knuckles: Wade, stay back!

Wade: Okay, the stakes have been raised considerably.

The Buyer: [to Knuckles] Don't worry, Echidna. This'll all be over soon. All I need is... every ounce of your power.

[The Buyer uses his mech's claws to drain all of Knuckles' chaos energy, and store it on the mech.

Wade: Knuckles! [to the Buyer] What are you doing to him?!

[The Buyer successfully drains Knuckles out of his energy.]

The Buyer: Your power is mine, echidna. Your only purpose now... is to DIE!

[The Buyer throws Knuckles away, as he charges up his newfound powers.]

Wade: Knuckles! Buddy! What did he do to you?

The Buyer: You caused me a lot of trouble. Now I'm gonna make you pay.

Wade: You think you're so tough, hiding behind that metal onesie you're wearing? I'm not scared of you. Come and get me!

[The Buyer rides his mech towards Wade.]

Wade: Okay, I was bluffing.

[Suddenly he hears a "La Cucaracha" novelty horn. Wendy and Wanda drive a small pin shaped vehicle towards Wade, arriving just in time to help him.]

Wendy: Somebody call for backup?

Wanda: [takes off her sunglasses] We thought you could use a hand.

[Wanda hands him over Mason's gauntlets.]

Wade: God, that was a good line.

[Wade puts on the gauntlets.]

Wade: [to himself] Alright, Wade. Let's do this. [grabs a ball] Let's roll.

[Wade begins throwing bowling balls at the Buyer's mech.]

Wade: Knuckles, I hope you can hear this. You taught me how to stand up for myself and fight! And we're stronger than ever now... because we fight together! A warrior's true strength comes from their heart. And your heart has never been bigger! You fight to honor your family! You fight to protect your friends! And now, you have something new to fight for... A home.

[As Wade speaks he remembers all of his moments with him and Knuckles together. He tries to grab another ball, but he turns out to see there aren't any balls left.]

The Buyer: Looks like you're ALL out of balls!

[He throws one of his tendrils to Wade, until Knuckles awakens and grabs the tendril and begins reabsorbing his power.]

Knuckles: This is my home!

[The Buyer throws his other tendril, but Knuckles grabs it as well. The Buyer noticies his chaos energy going back to Knuckles.]

The Buyer: No! NOOOOO!!!!!!

Knuckles: MY... POWER!!!

[After Knuckles reabsorbs his powers back, he rips out the tendrils from the Buyer's mech, and summons The Flames of Disaster.]

Wade: [excited] The Flames of Disaster!

The Buyer: [to Knuckles] COME ON!!!

[Knuckles performs a Drill Attack on the mech, destroying both its arms and then jumps in the air. Wade rushes and sees Knuckles heading for the giant ball over the National Bowling Stadium.]

Wade: Finish him, Knucks!

[Wade launches one of his gauntlets to the the giant ball, causing it to fall. Knuckles grabs the balls and throws it on the mech, killing the Buyer.]

Knuckles: [as he lands] Victory... is ours.

[Scene change: Bowling alley]

[Gary and Dylan come out from their hiding spots, now that it's over.]

Gary: Wow. Well, there you have it, folks. This proves what I've been saying all along. Absolutely anything can happen in the National Bowling Championships.

Dylan: You know, Gary, I looked it up, and actually, this has happened before. There was a visit by an extraterrestrial in the 1974 tourney, but I don't think he was red.

Gary: Well, you might be right, but I'm gonna tell you, this time was a lot more fun. What a show tonight, people.

Dylan: So fun. [notices something] Oh! Looks like there's some more action down on the lanes.

[Cut to "Pistol" Pete stealing the trophy, while laughing.]

Susie: Hey! That dork burger's stealing the trophy!

"Pistol" Pete: Shut your gob hole, ya little brat!

Dylan: Oh no! Pistol Pete is stealing the trophy, and he lost the tourney! I don't know what the rule book says about this, Gary.

[Pete tries to escape, but his way is blocked by Wendy and Wanda.]

Wendy: Oh, no, you don't. Take your hands off my son's trophy, you schmuck!

[Wendy punches Pete, knocking him down, as Wanda stomps on him with her leg. Meanwhile, Wade and Knuckles enter inside the abandoned arena.]

Wanda: Mom, that was awesome! Ever think about joining the FBI?

Wendy: Well, if it means I can spend more time with my daughter, I'd love to.

[Wade take his trophy back.]

Knuckles: You did it, Wade Whipple. You won!

Wade: Buddy, we did it.

[They both jump in the air to high five, and the scene freezes. Cut to the end credits as "Whatta Man" by Salt-N-Pepa & En Vogue is heard on the background.]

[Scene change: Road]

[Knuckles and Wade return to Green Hills on their motorcycle.]

Wade: Hey, Knuckles! How about some new road trip music? I call this mix "Knuckles and Wade Warrior Jammerz".

[Wade presses his phone and "The Warrior" by Scandal starts to play.]

Knuckles: What is this amazing song? Could this be? Yes. This is... my jam!

[They both ride on the sunset. The rest of the end credits continue normally.]

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