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Wedding Bell Blues (transcript)

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This is a transcript of the Sonic Underground episode, Wedding Bell Blues.

[Scene: Robotropolis, Dusk]

Aleena: [As Narrator] Queen Aleena here, becoming the legitimate king of Mobius is Dr. Robotnik's deepest, most dangerous dream, which is soon to become Sonic Underground's nightmare.
[Sonic zooms around the place. Its speed spins around a walking crate. Sonic stops for a moment and looks at it.]
Sonic: Wow!
[The "walking crate" is revealed to be a Chili Hot dog machine. Sonic zooms beside it.]
Sonic: Three doggies with the works, bud.
[The machine makes the Chili dog. Meanwhile, the Camper Van arrives. Manic and Sonia step off and confront Sonic.]
Sonia: Chili dogs? Now? Sonic, we're on an important mission.
Manic: Important mission? You mean after your hair appointment?
Sonia: [Angrily with her arms down] I mean my hair appointment. [Her brothers shrug shoulders] Appearance is important... to most people.
[Soon, Sonic is given three Chili Dogs on a plate.]
Sonic: I know what you mean. Fine, so cool. [Eats a Chili dog in one mouthful. Stuffed voice] I always look good.
[While Manic whistles a song, he grabs all the sachets and puts them in his bag. Sonic eats the second Chili dog in a mouthful.]
Sonia: [Disgusted] Oh... gross! Oh well, I guess that's to be expected from the lower classes.
Sonic: [Fed Up] I'd rather be low class than [Points closely at Manic]no class. Looks like we got a bad case of [Grabs Manic's hand] sticky fingers!
Manic: Hey! Where I come from [Releases Sonic's grab] you never know when you might need something.
Sonic: [Points at the machine] Put 'em back.
[Manic brings out the sachets and shuffles them like a pack of cards. Without looking he tosses them handful by handful back onto the machine while Sonic eats the last Chili dog. He gives Manic a thumb up and speaks with a stuffed mouth. Suddenly, the ground shakes and cracks as a big screen rises through it. Robotnik appears on a big screen next to the trio.]
Robotnik: Here ye! Citizens of Robotropolis.
[The screen rotates and breaks across the ground. The hedgehogs look on in horror.]
Robotnik: Be informed that tomorrow, I, the great Robotnik, will be married to Queen Aleena herself! [Sonia gasps] And because I am a kind, generous, and caring tyrant [Sonic Gasps] I will even allow music to be played in the joyous event.
[The Screen zooms off.]
Sonic: [Shocked] Did he say "married"?
Sonia: Did he say "To the Queen"?
Manic: Dude, he's a trap? Or is it just too obvious to mention?
Sonia: Manic, you're right. There's no way mother would marry someone she doesn't love with all her heart. Then who could love--
Sonic: [Interrupting] A domineering old buddy here like Doc buttnik!
Manic, Sonic and Sonia: Another use of force?
Sonic: [Thinking] You know, on second thought, if there's a chance in a million that mom's there?
Sonia: We have to be there too, and I think I know just who can get us in.
Sonic and Manic: You don't mean?!
Sonia: [Nods] Bartleby!

[Scene Change: Robotropolis, Dusk]

[Officer aircrafts roam the building. Robotnik is on his chair in front of Sleet and Dingo.]
Robotnik: Excellent. A fine day for snaring hedgehogs, [Gets annoyed] But the cost of this wedding is bankrupting me!
Sleet: Yes, but it must look real, or the hedgehogs would smell the trap.
Robotnik: [Turns his chair towards them] Suggestions?
Dingo: Ah, Colonel Thelonious?
[Sleet elbows Dingo hard.]
Sleet: Look. Why not raise more tribute from one of your pathetically loyal nobles.
Robotnik: Bartleby?
Sleet: Precisely.

[Scene Change]

[The hedgehogs are outside the gate wearing disguises. Behind them is the Camper Van decorated as a "Carpet Cleaning" van.]
Sonia: [Calling voice] Happy Carpet Cleaners!
Sonic: [Calling voice] Okay... Nobody home. Let's go.
[Sonic walks off, but Sonia grabs him.]
Sonia: Wait, wait, wait!
[The hedgehogs look at Bartleby on the screen.]
Bartleby: Sorry my poor fellows, there must be some miss, it's--
Sonia: [Takes off her mustache wig] Bartleby, it's me!
Bartleby: Sonia? How delightful! Do come in.
[The gates open.]
Sonia: Look. Staying in the background is over. As far as Bartleby's concerned you're bed cleaners, nothing more.

[Scene Change]

Bartleby: Sonia dar-ling it's simply marv-elous to see you, although your en-sem-ble is a bit to be desired.
[Manic takes random ornaments on the shelf and puts them in his handbag.]
Bartleby: By the way I hear your mom's wedding will betray she.
Sonic: [Whispering to Manic] This guy's a straight bozo.
Bartleby: I'm so glad your mother has finally come to her senses.
[Sonic's face goes dark red. He growls in anger.]
Bartleby: After all, given your disreputable brothers. [The brothers look at Bartleby in disgust] and the unfortunate fact that all three of you are wanted criminals [Sonia gasps.] your tarnished family [Sonia gives an angry look to him.] needs some major polish.
[Sonic takes off his hat and mustache and angrily zooms and confronts him, pointing his finger at his mouth.]
Bartleby: Ah!
Sonic: One more word out of you, I'm gonna polish this floor with your face!
Bartleby: Sonic, Sonia, how could you let your ruffian brother into my home?
[Sonic looks at him angrily, but Sonia cuts him off.]
Sonia: Oh, Bartleby, sweetie. Don't muck with Sonic. He's just a little overwhelmed with the beautiful surroundings and all.
[Manic pulls Sonic away.]
Bartleby: Yes. They are quite nice, aren't they?
Sonia: And what all of us want most of all for mother's wedding to be perfect, which is where you my sweet can help.
Bartleby: You'll know I'll do anything, my bed. Anything.
[Manic puts a toy grandfather clock into his handbag. Sonic gasps and has an annoyed look on his face.]
Sonic: [Clears throat] Excuse little, Manic. When you've just entered a no-shopping zone!
Manic: Hey, we could sell this stuff to a crooked antique dealer I know, and make a bundle for the resistance!
Sonic: Tah!
Manic: Oh....
[Manic sighs. He brings all the precious items out of his bag and tosses them in the air. Sonic quickly dashes and rescues every one of them from falling.]

[Scene Change]

Sonia: In fact she's serious, all you have to do is follow the tune to supply the music.
Bartleby: Music? I don't know.
[Sonia whispers to him.]
Bartleby: OK. So I do know.
[Manic and Sonic are hoovering.]
Manic: Do you think this guy is really cool?
[Robotnik's vehicle appears. ]
Sonic: Think we're about to find out.
Sonia: [Brings out a perfume spray and a cloth] This should get rid of that nasty spot, sir. [Sprays the cloth]
Bartleby: What spot?
[She cleans the spot on the floor up.]
Bartleby: and be sure is does miss. [Sleet and Dingo arrive] Ah, Sleet and Dingo.
Sleet: Hello, Bartleby, you warrant on the nose of society. It's tribute time again.
Bartleby: [Shocked] What's that? Tribute? But I just...
[Manic and Sonic continue hoovering. The noise forces Dingo to cover his ears.]
Sleet: Shut those machines up!
[The hoovers are turned off.]
Sleet: You know as well as I do that marrying a queen is very expensive.
Bartleby: But I'm not marrying a queen.
Sleet: But your lord and master is. Double tribute and I want it now!
Bartleby: But... but...
[Sonia whispers to him while cleaning.]
Bartleby: [Realizes] Oh! Wait, what if I pay half the tribute and supplies very expensive musicians as well.
Sleet: Hmm... Done! Goodbye, Bartleby. Come, Dingo.
[The villains walk across the floor.]
Sonia: Thanks, Bartleby.
Sonic: [In Sonia's voice] You're not half bad you warrant on the nose of society.

[Scene Change]

[The newly decorated Camper Van arrives. The three hedgehogs, wearing wedding costumes, walk out of the van.]
Sonic: Wow, so this is the royal home sweet home.
Sonia: [Annoyed] If Robotnik had stolen it from Mother, that is.

[Scene Change]

[The hedgehogs are inside the room. Manic sees a triangle set.]
Manic: Yuck!
Sonic: [In Sonia's voice] What are we supposed to do with--
Sonia: --That will be all, thank you.
[The robot standing between the hedgehogs bows and walks off. The trio grab their instruments - Sonic picking up the Double Bass and Sonia taking the violin - and run towards the loft door on one side of the room. Sonic opens it and they drop their instruments down the loft. They bring their own instruments out via their Medallions.]

[The song, When Tomorrow Comes plays.]

Manic: Cool timing, dude. Haha!
Sonic; But of course, let's hear that drum solo one more time.
[Manic plays his drum solo.]
Sonic: [Conferring to Sonia] I only had time to cover the north wing. No sign of mom, yet.
Sonia: Nobody saw you, did they?
Sonic: Someone seen moi, the speed man, the speed through the feet? I don't think so.

[Scene Change: Inside Robotropolis]

[Robotnik is playing back a video of Sonic's aura on a monitor.]
Robotnik: Play it forward frame by frame.
[The scene is played step by step.]
Robotnik: Stop. Take it back two frames.
[The scene is played back two frames.]
Robotnik: Enhance.
[Sonic is revealed through the aura.]
Robotnik: Well, well, Mr. Sonic Hedgehog. Before the sun sets today you two will be walking down the aisle to the roboticizer! [Evil laughter]

[Scene Change]

[The underground are jamming with their favorite instruments. A robot hovers across and brings a letter to Sonia. Sonia reads it and the instruments stop playing.]
Sonia: According to this boy, no more Rock and Roll!
Sonic: Well, excuse us! Hey is it hot in here or what? Man, this jacket's hot!
[Sonic takes off his jacket and throws it on a coat hanger with a flashing light in the middle. Sonic hushes them and brings out a small music player.]
Sonic: Okay. One, two, one two three.
[Sonic plays the music player. A beat is heard in the background]
Sonic: We gotta find Mom, or find out what Ro-butt-nik is really up to. Any ideas?
Manic: Me think.
[Manic leans on the shutters. They open quickly and Manic's let's go of his hand. Through the shutters is a tunnel. Manic peeps through.]
Manic: Alright! Secret passageway anyone?
Sonic: Way to go, bro.
Manic: So, let's do it.
Sonia: That's so fascinating. It's a good idea when it matters. Style.
Sonic: Style?
[Sonia flicks her dressing gown, turning it dark turquoise, and puts it back on. She unzips the legs of her pants and spins into her new look, a light blue and green wedding dress with bow ties on her waist.]
Sonia: Wow!
Manic: Not bad, you dare, but now that you're all dressed up, we can give--
Sonia: --Now, if you're going to a secret passageway, Sonic can check outside. [Looks at herself through a heart shaped mirror.] While I work my way into the final bit.
Sonic: Ho ho! Sis you got style by mom. Meet you both back here when we're all a little older in life.
[Sonic zooms off very close to Sonia, giving her a breeze. Manic walks into the passageway, with the shutters closing behind him. The robot scans the area and discovers Sonic's Coat on the Coat hanger. It takes it off. It scans again and finds the music player.]

[Scene Change, Robotropolis]

[Robotnik is holding a cloth.]
Robotnik: So, the hedgehogs are here, which is exactly what we wanted. What have you got?
Sleet: A special trap for the fast one.
Robotnik: Which is...
Sleet: Mm-hmm. Something he can't resist.

[Scene Change]

[Outside, Sleet, wearing smart clothes, and Dingo, holding buckets, walk along to a spot and prepare their trap.]
Sleet: All right. We're set up here.
[He uses his Shapeshift Remote on Dingo, turning him back into a Chili Hot dog machine. Sleet pours a bucket of chili sauce into the deep fat fryer.]
Dingo: Ouch! This stuff's hot!
Sleet: Oh, Dingo. You're such a crybaby. To catch a mouse you use cheese, but to catch a hedgehog you must use--
[--Sonic zooms outside right next to the machine.]
Sonic: [Excitedly] Chili dogs! Primo supremo. Give me a crippled banger with quadruple chili, extra spicy!
Sleet: Yes sir. Coming right up.
[He puts a sausage into the bun. He scoops a ladle of sauce over the top and gives the hot dog to Sonic.]
Sonic: Awesome concoction, my good man. This is what I call a Chili dog!
Sleet: Oh, I almost forgot. There's one more thing.
Sonic: Really, what?
[The Shapeshift Remote activates on the machine.]
Sleet: Giant Venus flytraps!
[Dingo is turned into a Venus flytrap. It eats Sonic, but he - now inside its mouth - is unharmed.]
Sonic: I didn't order a giant Venus flytrap! Must be one of those super meal promotions.
[Green vines emerge from the corners and wrap him up. It takes him deeper towards the throat.]
Sonic: Whoa! [Speaking to the Chili Dog] Oh man, I hate to do this. Oh well, for mom and country. [Commander's voice] Chili bombs away!
[He throws the Chili Dog down the flytrap's throat. The flytrap starts steaming and eventually, it regurgitates Sonic back out, breaking him free.]
Sonic: He can not even run, but so it goes!
[He zooms off. The flytrap explodes and melts down.]

[Scene Change: Passageway]

[Manic investigates the passageway with a torch. He touches a panel which opens up. He looks through the hole into what looks like a complex cave with a stairway.]
Manic: Wow! One of these made it to the bridal chamber, and there's only one way to scope.
[He walks through the hole and up the stairway. he stops half way.]
Manic: Time to lose this costume.

[Scene Change]

[Robotnik is training on a waist strap accompanied by a swatbot. He looks in the mirror.]
Robotnik: Ah. Now that's what I call a kingly physique.
[Manic opens a panel and sees Robotnik.]
Manic: Uh oh. My bad.
[The waist strap rumbles and detaches, colliding Robotnik with the Swatbot into the wall.]

[Scene Change: Bridal Chamber]

[At the wedding, Sleet is smartening "Aleena".]
Sonia: Mother?
[Sonia walks towards her mother. A panel opens and reveals Manic looking around. Sonic zooms his way towards the outskirts of the Bridal Chamber.]
Sonic: Whoa. That looks like the Bridal Chamber. That looks like an actual... bride?
[He zooms up the wall to the chamber, which is a floor higher. The camera cuts to Sonia and Manic.]
Manic: Mom, you're not really gonna marry the ugly dude Robotnik, are you?
[Sonic arrives.]
Dingo: [High voice] Actually my darling children, I can't. [Reveals his face covering. Low Australian accent.] because I'm already married to my job.
Sonia: Thank goodness. It's only a trap.
Sonia, Sonic and Manic: [Altogether] A trap?!
Sleet: Swatbots, seize them!
[The "Bridal Chamber"'s doors close down and surround the hedgehogs. Swatbots appear and stare at the trio.]
Sonia: [Angrily] Sleet! How dare you allow that Dingo thing to impersonate the Queen!
Sleet: It's nothing. Check out what he's impersonating now.
[He uses his Shapeshift Remote to turn Dingo into a snake. It scares Sonia. He wraps his tail around her, making her scream.]
Sonia: [Straining] Let me go!
[A pit opens up and sends the platform with Sleet, Dingo and Sonia downwards. The pit closes.]
Sonic: Sonia!
[The Swatbots shoot at Sonic. He dodges all three shots.]
Sonic: [Taunting] Is that all you got? [They shoot again, he jumps to dodge] Me and my big mouth.
Manic: Bro, over here!
[Manic throws all kinds of cutlery on each Swatbot's head. Sonic zooms through the legs of another Swatbot, tripping it over.]
Sonic: Manic! I thought I told you--
Manic: So like I say, [Brings out a candle holder] you never know when these kind of stuffs gonna come yet.
[He throws the candle holder onto the Swatbot's head. It retaliates by slamming its arms on Manic, but Sonic grabs him out of the way in time, and moves into a safe place in the corner away from the bots. Holding Manic, he zooms forward again.]
Sonic: So, where's the secret passageway?
Manic: Behind those bots! The light activates.
Sonic: No problemo.
[He stops where two Swatbots are guarding the passageway door.]
Sonic: [To the Swatbots] Special delivery for Swatbot!
Manic: Hey, what's that?
[He lets go of Manic, dropping him on his backside. He zooms to the switch and opens the passageway door. Just as the Swatbots were about to hold him, Sonic grabs him and zooms into the opening. The door closes behind the Swatbots, causing them to hit their heads on it.]

[Scene Change]

Sonia: No, no, no. I refuse to be named crown prince's successor to the throne.
Bartleby: But, sweetie kid, don't you see? By her continued absence your mother has given up a right to rule. You have to take her place.
Sonia: [Angrily] My mother's absence is because of his presence!
Robotnik: If it's my fault you are missing your mother, I will remedy that lack by adopting you our new Crown Princess as my daughter. [Smiles] In fact, you may call me Dad.
[Sonia screams.]

[Scene Change: Chapel]

[A large audience gathers at the Chapel. Sleet clears his throat and reads a scroll.]
Sleet: Honored guests, we have a slight change in schedule. [Closes the scroll] Instead of a wedding, you shall witness... [Introduces Sonia with his hand] the adoption of Crown Princes Sonia.
[Sonia - still in her wedding dress - is sat on a chair with a grumpy look on her face.]
Sleet: By our beloved leader Doctor, and soon to be king, Robotnik!
[The audience gasp.]
Bartleby: Unless of course, Queen Aleena fulfills the ancient law, and proves she has not abandoned the throne.
Sonic: There's too many Swatbots to rush the stage, we need a diversion.
Manic: Got it!
Sonic: Got what?
Manic: You know it when you see it. Gotta jam!

[Scene Change: Passageway]

[Manic walks up the steps and opens a loft door. He brings out a colorful woman's dress.]
Manic: Oho! This is definitely me!
[He opens a drawer and picks up a towel. Above the drawer is a device with a flashing light.]

[Scene Change: Chapel]

Sonia: [Whispers to herself] Sonic, Manic, where are you?
[A door opens behind Sonia's chair. Robotnik and Bartleby appear. Meanwhile, Sonic appears in the audience wearing a purple dressing gown.]
Sonic: [Whispers] Any time, Manic.
[Manic - now in the dress and wearing lipstick - is suddenly pushed by the Swatbots.]

[Scene Change: Passageway]

Manic: Hey! Watch the dress, guys. It wrinkles.
[The door closes in front of him.]

[Scene Change: Chapel]

Sleet: [Reading the scroll] And, with the continued absence of Queen Aleena, it is decreed that Princess Sonia shall rule in her stead.
[The audience groans.]
Sonic: Not a crime here, Manic.

[Scene Change: Passageway]

[Manic takes off his crown and turns a key. The door opens.]
Manic: Excellent! Still got the touch! Haha!

[Scene Change: Chapel]

[Bartleby is holding a larger crown.]
Bartleby: With this crown, Princess Sonia--
Aleena: [Interrupting off-screen] Hah!
[Robotnik gasps in horror.]
Aleena: I forbid this ceremony!
[Aleena appears at the top of the Chapel. Sonia becomes delighted.]
Sonia: How come, guys?
[The audience talk among themselves.]
Sonic: Nice going, Manic. Lovely frock.
Bartleby: The Royal Scepter, it's the Queen! Ohh...
[He faints, dropping the crown.]
Sonia: My dear...
Robotnik: [Angrily] No! It can't be!
Aleena: You are a blight upon our land, Robotnik! I, Queen Aleena, shall never abandon Mobius! All her children and long as I may live!
Crowd Member: Long live the queen!
Crowd: Long live the queen! Long live the queeeen! Long live the queen!
Robotnik: Swatbots, seize her!
[Sleet and Dingo join in with the Swatbots as they climb up to the top where Aleena is. Aleena hurries away, closing the door behind her.]
Sleet: Blast that door open!
[The Swatbots fire their lasers at the door. Meanwhile, Sonic confronts Robotnik.]
Robotnik: Hedgehog, you're defeated. Admit it.
Sonic: Only if you catch me!
[Robotnik tries to catch him but Sonic evades and steps behind him. While holding Robotnik's gown he pulls the end of the carpet together with it and pulls it over Robotnik's head, wrapping him and leaving him trapped inside it.]
Sonic: One burrito el Garoso coming right up!
[Sonic kicks the covered Robotnik down the stairs along the aisle while Robotnik exclaims in pain. He walks over to Sonia.]
Sonic: I just love these family get-togethers, don't you?
Sonia: They're the best, but where's Manic?
Sonic: Milking his bout, into the Manic.
[Swatbots fire lasers at them. They dodge.]
Sonia: That was Manic? Unbelievable!
[Swatbots continue firing lasers at them.]
Sonia: Uh... Maybe we should go.
[Sonic takes Sonia's hand and dashes. He touches the Swatbots, making them spin.]

[Scene Change: Outside the Chamber]

[Sleet, Dingo and the Swatbots continue their pursuit.]
Dingo: There she is!
[Behind the rock is a horse. "Aleena" taps her and she trots along the land. The villains catch up to her and surround her.]
Sleet: Party's over, your majesty. You're coming with us!
[Robotnik laughs and appears.]
Robotnik: Well, well, well. Your children may have escaped, Queen Aleena, but at least I have you!
[Robotnik pulls the hood off, revealing that it's a doll figure, not Queen Aleena's head. Robotnik screams in anger and grips Sleet, making him choke.]
Robotnik: Sleet, you idiot!
Sleet: [Splutters] No sir, I'm the conniving one. Dingo is the idiot!

[Scene Change: Field, night]

[Sonia and Sonic watch from behind a bush with smile on their faces.]
Sonia: Brilliant work, guys.
Manic: [Stepping in] Which part?
Sonia: You weren't impersonating the mother. What else?
Sonic: It sure was, Manic. Exceptional job.
Manic: So kind but, I never made it. [To Sonia] I thought it was you.
Sonia: Wait a minute. If it wasn't Manic, or Sonic...
Sonic: Then it had to be...
Sonia: [With tears in her eyes.] Mother?
Manic: Wow!
Aleena: [As Narrator] The nightmare has been averted, but a long darkness still remains before our freedoms dawn.

[Scene Change: Outside Robotropolis, night]

Robotnik: [To Sleet and Dingo] Perhaps a few days in the dungeons will give both of you time to reflect on your shortcomings! Take them away!
[The Swatbots carry Sleet and Dingo away.]
Sleet: I want my own self!
Dingo: Nicely, please! When I'm alone I get scared of the dark!
[A closing sound is heard. The screen fades to black and the credits appear.]
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