Vector Detector/Transcript

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Sonic Boom Vector Detector (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Vector Detector".

[Scene: Amy's House, morning.]

Amy: [laughs] Good morning, world. Good morning, chair. Good morning, plant. Good morning, hammer. [gasps] Hammer? Hammer! HAMMER!

[Scene change: Village Center]

Amy: I can't believe my hammer's gone. It's... it's who I am! It's like Sonic without his speed.

Knuckles: Or me without my fists. Aah! Where are they?

Sticks: They're on your hands.

Knuckles: [Sighs] Oh, thank goodness. For a moment there, I was as useless as Amy without her hammer.

Sonic: Who would want to steal you hammer anyway?

Eggman: [Whistling] Morning losers!

Amy: Eggman, you stole my hammer!

Eggman: If I wanted a hammer, I'd make one myself. [Groans] I was having such a lovely morning, and now I got all worked up.

Sonic: So, what are you gonna do about it, attack us?

Tails: What are you gonna do about it, attack us? Nice calling, Sonic.

Amy: HI-YA! Whoa!

[Knuckles grunts.]

Amy: Ah! What am I supposed to do with my hands?

[Sonic, Knuckles and Sticks attack Eggman's robots.]

Amy: Knuckles was right, I am useless! [runs away, crying]

Knuckles: What? I can't help that I'm insightful.

Sonic: Well, I guess I need to deal with this. Sorry Egghead, need to make this a quick one.

Eggman: [Grunts] I completely understand!

[Eggman is knocked into the distance, screaming.]

[Scene change: Amy's house, day.]

Sonic: Amy, your worries are over.

Knuckles: We didn't find your hammer. But we did find this crate of hand-to-hand combat weapons.

Sticks: And the best part is, they're all unregistered with a serial number scratched off.

Amy: I appreciate your help everyone. But I called it professional.

[Vector slams the door open.]

Vector: In this matter, some would call tragically a small hobble, I, Vector the Detector will begin my investigation of 'The Case of the Missing Hammer'.

Sonic: Vector? What are you doing here?

Dixon: Cut! No no no, you're excited that Vector's here.

Amy: Sonic, have you seen his show? He'll find my hammer for sure.

Sonic: When did you get a reality show?

Vector: When they paid me big time TV do-re-mi.

[Vector's pupils turn into dollar signs.]

Tails: You should probably see an optometrist about that.

[Scene change: Amy's house, day.]

Vector: I'm here outside the vic's domicile, looking for clues.

[Sonic appears.]

Sonic: I'm looking for clues, too! And I can do it 50 times faster than Vector!

[Sonic speeds around Amy's house, and finds nothing.]

Sonic: Nope, nothing, that criminal mastermind left no trace.

Vector: Yeah, no trace. Except these footprints.

[Grassy footprints appear, ending near a bush. Vector looks through the bush and finds a card.]

Sonic: A Meh Burger VIP card? I've never seen one of those before.

Vector: They're reserved for the cultural elite. We have our first clue.

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day.]

Vector: We're gonna need this palooka to name names. And unlike these soft drink cups, he ain't gonna spill easy. Time for the old good cop bad cop routine.

Sonic: I'll play bad cop.

Vector: This is my clambake, and I always play bad cop.

Dave: Could I take your order?

Vector: What's the skinny on this VIP card?

Dave: I don't know what you're talking about.

[Vector slaps Dave with VIP card and Sonic grabs his shirt as he screams.]

Sonic: My partner wants to go easy on you. He believes your little fairy tale, but something smells rotten to me.

Dave: It's Meh Burger. That's just how it smells.

[Vector knocks over the things on the counter, causing a cat yowling noise.]

Dave: [Gulps] Okay, I admit it! The Meh Burger VIP program is a sham! We just give cards out to disgruntled costumers to make them feel special. Nearly everyone in town's got one.

Sonic: I don't have one.

Dave: Well somebody's gotta pay full price to offset the steep discounts everyone else is getting..

[Scene change: Amy's Shack, night.]

[Sticks and Amy are practicing fighting with staffs, grunting. Sonic walks in.]

Amy: How'd it go with Vector? [Get hit on the head by Sticks. Groans.]

Sonic: Dead end.

Amy: Aw...

Tails: Maybe a TV break will take your mind off things.

Justin Beaver [On TV.]: It's a singing competition show, where I, along with the wife of an aging rock star, and some guy you've never heard of, harshly criticize regular people and crush their dreams.

Comedy Chimp [On TV.]: Sounds great! You know what else sounds great? Surgery without anesthesia!

[Laugh track plays.]

Comedy Chimp: I mean, I've used butter knives that weren't that dull.

[Laugh track plays.]

Comedy Chimp: I tried watching that show last night. My TV pulled the plug on itself!

[Laugh track plays.]

Justin: Whatever.

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