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Sonic Boom
Unnamed Episode (transcript)

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This is the transcript from the Sonic Boom episode, "Unnamed Episode"

[Scene: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[Team Sonic and several other villagers are gathered in the mansion, in front of Mayor Fink.]
Mayor Fink: As we all remember, the epicenter of tourism for our fair village was the giant ball of twine. That is, until someone unwound it.
[Everyone boos at Sonic.]
Sonic: I only did it to stop a deadly rockslide from steamrolling the whole town. I remember it like it was yesterday.
[The camera turns sepia tone and then back to normal.]
Mayor Fink: We don't have time for a flashback. We need to reinvigorate tourism. Suggestions?
Amy: What if we sold T-shirts for the town. Get our name out there.
Wild Cat: Great idea. Just a quick question: What is the name of our town?
[Everyone talks to each other.]
Amy: Our village must have a name, and I know just how to find out. Everyone, [Points towards the library] to the library!
[An awkward silence arises.]
Tails: [Holding his laptop] Or I could just look it up online?
Amy: But the library is an important resource, with its easy-to-use card catalogues and cabinets upon cabinets full of microfiche.
Tails: [A beep is heard] Found it!
[Everyone cheers while Amy groans.]
Tails: Our town was originally called Badgerville.
[A Flashback plays.]

[Scene Change: Village Center (past), day.]

[Jebediah Badger is shown on top of the steps outside the Mayor's Mansion. He passes a gift to a villager and they both handshake.]
Tails: Named after its founder, Jebediah Badger. He was a ruthless bank owner and land owner who seized power by manipulating the system.
[The camera pauses the flashback and shows Mayor Fink on the top half of the screen.]
Mayor Fink: Thank goodness we don't let people like that run our city anymore. [Laughs nervously]
[The Flashback resumes and shows a walrus family being chased out of their homes by two policemen.]
Tails: He kicked people out of their homes, just to develop on their land, and expand his fortune.

[Scene Change: Village Center (past), night.]

[Jebediah is being chased by a horde of villagers. With him running away, the villagers take down the signs with his picture on it and then walk away gently.]
Tails: Eventually, our ancestors rebelled, chasing him out of town. Then they tore down all the signs bearing his image and the town's name. Afterward, they were too lazy to hang up new ones.
[The Flashback stops.]

[Scene: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

Tails: So I guess technically it's still called Badgerville.
Sticks: That's impossible! [Upset] Jebediah was... [Shows a photo of Jebediah to Tails] my great-great grandfather!
[Everyone gasps.]
Sticks: My ancestor was... the man!

[Scene Change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

Sticks: [Upset] Jebediah Badger stood for everything I hate in this world: Abuse of power, oppression, shoddy sign construction...
Amy: You have nothing to do with him, so it's nothing to be ashamed of.
Sticks: I guess I over-reacted. [Pats Amy on the shoulder] Thanks, Amy.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Sticks takes a walk with Amy. Sticks looks at the villagers who pass by. They frown back at her, making her more miserable.]
Sticks: I feel like everyone's avoiding me and looking at me funny.
Amy: How's that different from any other day?
Sticks: Because now it's not paranoia. [Shouting to the villagers] People! I don't even agree with Jebediah Badger! I try and help everyone. I must've saved that walrus baby, like fifty times!
Lady Walrus: Don't you talk about [Holds Chumley] my baby!
Ice Cream Vendor: We can't stand idly by and let our town be named after some no-good stinking badger! We need a new name for our village!
Sticks: I agree! Let's put our heads together and...
Old Monkey: Argh! She's coming for us!
[The Old Monkey runs away. All the villagers evacuate. The Ice Cream Vendor drops three ice cream cones on the ground while fleeting.]
Sticks: [Sighs] Maybe it's best if I lay low for a bit. Amy, you'll go and make sure they don't name the town something stupid.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

Wolfie: [Puts his hand up] How about we name it Shimmydown Town!
Sonic: No way! It's gonna be something with pizzazz, like Sonic-topia.
Knuckles: Nah. It should have a strong intimidating name, like, Knuckles. [Amy facepalms] Always liked that one for some reason.
Amy: We should have a name that sounds nice and boosts our image. Something like Pleasant Valley.
[The villagers talk and agree with each other.]
Mayor Fink: Intentionally vague, bordering on misleading, but not open to legal dispute... It's perfect!
[All the villagers cheer. However, dramatic music plays as Eggman enters the mansion.]
Dr. Eggman: Not so fast!
[Everyone looks at Eggman and steps back as he moves in with Orbot and Cubot.]
Dr. Eggman: Everybody chillax. I'm not here to fight. I heard we need a new name for our town, and I found the perfect option: Eggman City.
Knuckles: I like it.
Sonic: What? No, that's terrible. We're not naming it Eggman City.
Dr. Eggman: Who made you king? I say let the people decide.
[The villagers cheer, including Knuckles.]
Amy: But the people just decided. Everyone liked Pleasant Valley!
Dr. Eggman: You can't just declare a new name. You need to draw up a proposition, hold a referendum... There's a process, unless you want to be all Jebediah Badger about it.
[Everyone boo at Sonic, Tails and Amy including Knuckles.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Amy and Sticks are trying to get the other people to vote. Sticks offers a vote card to Mrs. Vandersnout, but she hisses back at her without taking a card.]
Amy: From the rolling meadows, to the beautiful beaches, to that perpetual dumpster fire behind Meh Burger. There's something for everyone in a place called Pleasant Valley.
[A microphone tuning noise sounds. Amy, Lady Goat and Sticks cover their ears. It is then shown that Eggman is on the microphone.]
Dr. Eggman: Y'all ready for Eggman City?! [Listens, but no one answers] First order of business, [Bringing out a T-shirt gun] free t-shirts!
[All the villagers are seen running towards Eggman. He fires T-shirts from his gun to everyone, including Lady Walrus, who faints as soon as she gets one. Orbot and Cubot are offering t-shirts too, but are swarmed by excited villagers.]
Orbot: Calm down. There's enough swag for everyone.
[Amy and Sticks sigh in disbelief.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Amy and Sticks move over to the Male Fennec's shop and offers a vote to him.]
Amy: Citizens for Pleasant Valley.
[The Male Fennec takes the vote card from Amy, but then leers at Sticks. Sticks takes a magazine and reads it, but the Male Fennec snatches it back.]
Male Fennec: Hey! This isn't a library.
[The Male Fennec shoos them away with his broom.]

[Scene Change: Library, day.]

[Amy hands her vote to Fastidious Beaver, who is sitting at his desk. Sticks wants to read a book, but Fastidious tells her off.]
Fastidious: Hey, this isn't a library.
Amy: But, this is a library.
Fastidious: Obviously you don't understand parallel construction jokes.
[Amy and Sticks grunt in anger and leave the library.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Amy and Sticks walk and spot several TVs which include an commercial for Eggman's campaign.]
TV: Amy Rose thinks we should name our town "Pleasant Valley", but did you know that Amy Rose is an associate of known conspiracy theorist and descendant of Jebediah Badger, Sticks the Badger? What else is Amy Rose hiding? [Quickly] Paid for by citizens who think Eggman City would be a better name.
Sticks: [Shrieking] I can't take this anymore!

[Scene Change: Outside Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[Everyone except Sticks is waiting in a long queue.]
Amy: Well, I've done everything I can. Now we just have to vote and hope the people make the right decision.
Tails: Have a little faith in the democratic process. It always comes through.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Soar is making a news report on a camera.]
Soar the Eagle: It's a landslide. Eggman City triumphs with a record 98 percent of the vote. Let's talk to the man of the hour, Dr. Eggman.
Dr. Eggman: Thank you, Soar. [Snatches the microphone] I also want to thank all the villagers who were swayed by my charismatic campaign, and voted without actually reading the proposition itself.
Soar: And why would they? Your commercials and free T-shirts stated the point so clearly.
Dr. Eggman: Yes, well. What the T-shirts failed to mention was that hidden within the verbiage of the ordinance was a clause to give me absolute power. [To the camera] You chumps just elected me your supreme leader! Ahahaha! Oh, by the way, I'm shutting down the media. [The camera turns itself off.]

[Scene Change: Mayor's Office, day.]

[Eggman puts his feet up on the desk]
Dr. Eggman: Ain't our system grand, boys?
Orbot: You're going to need a cabinet. Might I submit my resume for Secretary of the Interior?
Cubot: And, can I be water commissioner? They get all the chicks.
Dr. Eggman: Now that I'm in charge, [Evilly] I have big plans.

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

[The Fennec Garbage Man collects Eggman's trash.]
Dr. Eggman: Yes, yes. Collect my trash in a timely fashion. [Laughs] I also have big plans for the city. [Puts on a hard hat] It's demolition time!

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Eggman, Orbot and Cubot arrive at the Village Center with Eggman on his Eggmobile and Orbot and Cubot driving a bulldozer, scaring the villagers away. Team Sonic confront the bulldozer.]
Sonic: What the heck do you think you're doing, Egghead?
Dr. Eggman: Clearing space for my new theme park of course. Which by the way will be great for tourism. You're welcome.
Amy: But what about the villagers?
Dr. Eggman: They can work at the theme park, or visit it. See? It's all good. Now move along.
[Team Sonic prepare for combat.]
Dr Eggman: Need I remind you that I was elected supreme leader? What I'm doing is well within the letter of the law and you can't stop me!
[Sonic, Tails and Knuckles look at Amy.]
Amy: I'll find a way to stop you legally, Eggman! Everyone, come with me to the library!
[Sonic, Tails and Knuckles look away, whistling.]
Amy: Fine, I'll go myself.
[Sonic, Tails and Knuckles breathe a sigh of relief as Amy walks to the library.]

[Scene Change: Library.]

[Amy is taking notes from books in the library. Fastidious hushes her. The books start to stack up as Amy takes more notes. Amy is then shown eating a sandwich. Eventually, Amy falls asleep on the desk with the pencil in her hand. The pencil then falls out of her hand and on the desk, waking her up. Amy is then shown reading her notes and she discovers something.]
Amy: That's it!
[The people in the library shush at Amy. Amy sulks.]

[Scene Change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

Amy: [Opens the door] Sticks, I've got great... [Sees Sticks packing up her stuff] Whoa. What are you doing?
Sticks: This town's no place for a badger like me.
Amy: You have no idea how wrong you are. I just discovered that even though Jebediah Badger was run out of town, he never relinquished ownership of the land.
Sticks: [Grunting] That greedy no good...
Amy: Don't you see? That means legally the land belongs to Jebediah Badger's only descendant. You!
Sticks: I own the village, and everything in it?!
Amy: A-ha.
Sticks: The stores? The houses?
Amy: Yep.
Sticks: The mind-reading antenna cleverly disguises as trees? The invisible tower where the government hides all the aliens? The underground factory where they create duplicates of everyone so they can replace everyone with pod people?
Amy: If any of those existed, you own them.
Sticks: Let's go kick Eggman out of my village... Unless you're a pod person version of Amy, then you can wait here.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

Dr. Eggman: If we demolish that youth center, I can double the size of my funnel cake stand.
Sonic: Come on Eggman. You can't just destroy the village.
Dr. Eggman: Sorry, I can't hear you over the noise of me building an awesome theme park.
Amy: [Off-screen] Wait!
[Amy and Sticks come rushing in to the rest of Team Sonic, Amy holds a note.]
Amy: According to these records, Sticks is the true owner of the village! [Holds her note up in the air]
Old Monkey: So you're saying our votes don't mean anything?
Amy: Exactly! None of your votes matter!
[The villagers boo at Amy.]
Sticks: But I'm giving the town back to the people!
[The villagers cheer at Sticks.]
Amy: And I figured it all out thanks to the wonders of the public library!
[The villagers boo at Amy again.]
Sonic: It's over, Eggman.
Dr. Eggman: [Growling] I don't care if you nullified my term as supreme ruler. That youth center is going down!
[Eggman presses a button on his wrist controller. Several Ball Bots bounce their way towards Team Sonic. Sonic, Tails and Knuckles fight them off. Eggman jumps onto the bulldozer, throws Cubot and Orbot off it, and starts the machine, destroying the Ice Cream Vendor's stand in the process.]
Ice Cream Vendor: Awww...
[Sticks brings out her bo and gets in the way of the bulldozer.]
Dr. Eggman: Out of the way!
[Eggman tries to hammer the bulldozer's blade down on Sticks, but she cartwheels out of the way. Eggman drives the bulldozer towards the youth center. Amy guides the kids out.]
Amy: Come on, kids. Move it or lose it! You can finish coloring later.
[Two more Ball Bots head towards Sticks. Sonic Homing Attacks both of them. Tails flies and bats another one away with his wrench. Knuckles grabs two more Ball Bots and clashes them together with another charging Ball Bot, destroying it. As the bulldozer gets closer to the youth center, Sticks pole vaults her way up on the bulldozer, facing Eggman. As he grunts, she uses her bo to put the control stick into reverse. Sticks jumps off the bulldozer as it backs away.]
Dr. Eggman: What? No! Stupid thing's stuck!
[Eggman tries to turn the control stick forward, but with Sticks' bo stuck to it, he cannot do so. The bulldozer runs over the rest of the Ball Bots, destroying them.]
Dr. Eggman: [Growls] You win this time.
Sonic: [Low voice] We pretty much win every time.
Mayor Fink: I guess we owe you an apology, Sticks. After your heroic,s we'd be honored to keep the name Badgerville.
[Fink offers a handshake. The villagers cheer.]
Sticks: Nah, that's OK. We should name the village after someone who deserves it. Someone selfless, and honorable! I say we call it "Hedgehog Village"!
Sonic: [Walks in] Wow, Sticks. Naming the town after me? You shouldn't have. I mean, I get why you wants to, but...
Sticks: Not after you. After my good friend, Amy Rose the Hedgehog, [Pats Amy on the shoulder] who always stood by me, no matter what.
[Sticks and Amy hug each other. Knuckles angrily steps in.]
Knuckles: You sure you don't want to call it Knuckles?! [Quietly] I've always liked that one for some reason.