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Unlucky Knuckles (Transcript)

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This is a transcript for the Sonic Boom episode "Unlucky Knuckles".

[Scene: A field]

Knuckes: Yeah! [Places a gofaball on a tee] Who's gonna take it downtown? Knuckles, that's who! Gonna pour Sonic a hurt-tonic! And the pain is gonna be chronic!
Sonic: Okay, we get it. [flips a coin]
Knuckles: Tails! [Turning his attention to Tails] Tails, you flip it. Not sure I trust this guy...
[Sonic gives the coin to Tails who flips it in the air.]
Knuckles: Heads!
[The coin lands on Tails' wrist and he flips it over to reveal it as tails.]
Knuckles: [Grumbles] Lucky...
[Sonic tosses his gofaball into the air and hits it with his club. The gofaball then flies right into the hole and rolls back down the mountain where it pops up from a hole and Sonic catches it.]
Knuckles: Don't give me that look!
[Knuckles heads over to swing his gofaball and the gofaball rolls toward the hole but a leaf lands on it causing it to move the other way.]
Tails: One nothing, Sonic!
Knuckles: Oh, come on! You saw the wind blew that, right? [Swings another gofaball but it hits some birds.] What?!
Sonic: You gotta factor in bird migration. That's Gofaball 101.
[Knuckles growls and goes to swing another ball. However, it ends up going past the hole and Knuckles tries again. He tries again over and over until he tires out.]
Knuckles: That's totally unfair!
Tails: Maybe you need to work on your swing.
Knuckles: You kidding me?! It has nothing to with my swing! It has everything to do with luck!
[Sonic and Tails just stare at him and Knuckles takes another swing where the ball actually stops in midair before landing. A frustrated Knuckles throws his club which actually lands in the hole and Knuckles screams loudly.]

[Scene change: Amy's House in the garden]

[Knuckles is seen pacing around with Amy and Sticks watching him.]
Amy: Knuckles, I see you're upset but-
Knuckles: Don't bother trying to get me to talk about my feelings.
Amy: Actually, I was gonna try to get you to stop killing my grass.
Knuckles: Sonic the Luck Monkey beat me in Gofaball by getting totally lucky!
Amy: I thought you didn't want to talk about your feelings?
Knuckles: I don't! I just wanna yell!
Amy: We all get into a slump now and then...
Knuckles: I'm not in a slump.
Amy: Oh, really? How many times have you lost to Sonic this week?
Knuckles: [Starts counting with his fingers.] I told you, I don't want to talk about this!
Sticks: Maybe, there is a disturbance in the luck balance of the universe.
Knuckles: That could happen? Stupid universe...
Sticks: What you need to do is burn through the rest of this losing streak by bringing yourself as much bad luck as you can as fast as you can to speed up shifting the luck balance of the universe back the way it was before this all happened!
[Amy and Knuckles stare at each other.]
Sticks: Yeah, that's right! You heard me!
Amy: Shift the luck balance of the universe? Really?
Knuckles: I'm so there!

[Scene change: The canyon]

Knuckles: I can't believe I've never thought of this before! [Punches a large rock formation causing a larger rock to land on him. Knuckles then perches himself over a crater.] When the luck balance of the universe shifts against you, just get it all over with as quickly as possible to shift it back. [Jumps into the crater.] It's like one of those things when you hear it, you're like "Duh! It's so obvious!" [Lands on the ground and gets out to walk over into a cannon.] Plus it plays to my strengths of taking horrible, [Is launched out of the cannon.] PAINFUL, [Hits a tree.] brutal punishment... [Falls to the ground and a beehive falls on him and the bees start stinging him.] AH! I CAN ALMOST FEEL MY LUCK CHANGING ALREADY!!!

[Scene change: Sonic's Shack]

Sonic: [Reading a book before noticing Knuckles.] Oh man, Knuckles. You okay?
Knuckles: [Covered in bruises.] Am I okay? Are you okay you mean? [Flicks Sonic's nose.] Or are you getting too nervous the Gofaball beatdown heading your-- [Coughs and wheezes] Give me a minute. It's hard to trash talk with a punctured lung...
Sonic: Looks to me like you're not in much condition to play anything.
Knuckles: Hah! You only think I'm not in much condition to... whatever you said! But, in fact, I finally tipped the luck balance of the universe back in my favor! Your lucky streak is over, Sonic! Brace yourself, my friend, 'cause there's nothing but sunny skies ahead for this- [Is suddenly crushed by a refrigerator.]

[Scene change: Dr. Eggman's lair]

[Dr. Eggman is preparing for a game of laser tag]
Dr. Eggman: Even with a mind as powerful as mine, it's important to keep the reflexes honed. [Turns to Orbot, Cubot, and some other robots.] That's why you robots will serve as my opponents in this training exercise. [Gives Orbot and Cubot some Disintegrator Rays on low setting] On your marks, get set, go!
[Eggman and his robots start to fire at each other and Eggman finds himself cornered.]
Dr. Eggman: Ow! Someone's stepping on my mustache!
[The robots look around to see who is stepping on it.]
Orbot: Wait, no one's stepping on your-
[Eggman runs past the robots where they start to shoot at him. However, Eggman trips but his laser manages to hit all of the robots' targets.]
Orbot: If I didn't know better, I'd say there was a shift in the luck balance of the universe.
Dr. Eggman: [Grinning evilly] Hmm...

[Scene change: The crater]

[Meteors are raining down with Knuckles at the bottom trying to get hit by one of them.]
Knuckles: Come on, meteors! Take your best shot!
Amy: We've got to do something! He's going to hurt himself!
Sonic: What do you suggest we do?
Tails: You could lose to him on purpose.
Sonic: What else ya got? [Tails and Amy have no other ideas. Sonic sighs] I'll talk some sense into him. Leave it to me. [Jumps down and runs to Knuckles.] Knux, you're wasting your time with this luck stuff. I've been beating you lately entirely due to skill.
Knuckles: Luck!
Sonic: Skill.
Knuckles: Luck!
Sonic: Skill. Like the way I just beat you in this argument just now.
Knuckles: You didn't win yet because I'm still saying the word "luck!" LUUUUCK!!!
[Knuckes gets crushed by a meteor while Amy facepalms at this.]
Sonic: Can we discuss this somewhere else?

[Scene change: Dr. Eggman's lair]

Dr. Eggman: Sonic and his friends always defeat me by the slimmest of margins, but with the luck balance of the universe shifted entirely in my favor, there's never been a better time to attack!
[Orbot and Cubot look at each other confusingly.]
Dr. Eggman: So, let us attack this instant! With everything we got! Bring the Mega...

[Scene change: Sticks' Burrow]

Amy: Sticks, you gotta help us make Knuckles stop right away! He's gonna get hurt!
Sticks: Not if he shifts the luck balance of the universe in time.
Tails: And what if he doesn't?
Sticks: I guess he'll probably be eaten by a carnivorous plant and slowly digested over a period of weeks or months.
Amy: And we agree that's not good right?
Sticks: I could think of worse but I have confidence in him.
Tails: Confidence in a guy who believes your crazy theory?
Sticks: Did you just call my theory "crazy"? [Growls]

[Scene change: The crater.]

[Sonic helps Knuckles from under the meteor.]
Sonic: So Knux, I was kinda hoping we could get you to stop this nonsense before an asteroid pulverizes you into baby food. Any suggestions?
Knuckles: Admit that luck is the only reason you've been beating me all this time!
Sonic: How about we have a rematch right now? Skill vs. Skill!
[Knuckles smiles agreeing to the idea.]

[Scene change: The plains]

[Sonic and Knuckles are about to play another game of Gofaball.]
Sonic: Go ahead. Take your shot.
Knuckles: Don't you feel the ground rumbling?
Sonic: Nice try, Lucky.
[Knuckles swings and the ball ends up hitting Eggman's Eggmobile when he was passing by.]
Sonic: Okay, that there was a little weird. I'll give you that.
Knuckles: A little?! Are you kidding me?!

[Scene change: The Village.]

[Eggman starts attacking the village and attacks a hut where the roof flies off into the air. Sonic runs off.]
Dr. Eggman: Magnificent!
[Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot all laugh.]
Dr. Eggman: The invasion is going swimmingly! And me, without my floaties on! [Laughs evilly again but notices that Orbot and Cubot didn't laugh with him.] Note to self: Leave hyper-diabolical banter.

[Scene change: A cliff overlooking the village.]

[Sonic skids to a stop right in front of Eggman. Amy, Sticks, and Tails arrive just after.]
Sonic: So Eggman, what makes you think this stunt will go any better than the last dozen or so you've pulled?
Dr. Eggman: The luck balance of the universe: that's what!
Tails: What? You believe that stuff, too?
[Knuckles runs up behind them.]
Knuckles: Sorry I'm late. What can I do to...
[The roof falls down from the sky and lands on the ground.]
Dr. Eggman: I'm unscathed; I'm a little schmitzy, but no matter. It's also laundry day!
[Eggman turns around, Orbot and Cubot follow.]
Dr. Eggman: [Singing] Today is my lucky day!
[Knuckles walks up, holding his head.]
Knuckles: You guys okay? Wow, that was nuts. I can't believe that.
Sonic: We had him cornered! What are you doing here?
Knuckles: Helping?
Sonic: You're not helping; you're just bad luck! I have an idea: since you and your bad luck just hurt our side, why don't you just join Eggman and make it official.
Knuckles: Fine! If that's how you're going to be about it, I'm gonna work with someone who appreciates me! [Knuckles runs off angrily.]
Amy: Knuckles, come back! [Sonic walks up next to her.]
Sonic: Hold up, let's let this play out.

[Scene change: The village.]

[Dr. Eggman is floating in the Eggmobile above the destroyed building. The villagers, frightened, look up at him.]
Dr. Eggman: Attention, village: your panicked screaming and fear-addled hysteria have so charmed and delighted me these past few moments that I wish to extend my appreciation by debuting for you my most extravagant ode to destruction yet. Behold... the Mega!
[Eggman's giant robot appears in front of the villagers, and the villagers gasp in horror.]
Dr. Eggman: I call him that because he's seven percent bigger than my other robots.
[Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot turn to see Knuckles walking up to them.]
Knuckles: Eggman, I'm through with Sonic. I'm joining your side.
[Eggman, amused, flies in a circle around Knuckles.]
Dr. Eggman: Ah, a defector has come to join the winning team. More good luck!
Knuckles: Pretty cool robot. [He approaches the enormous robot.] New?
Dr. Eggman: Yeah, nice, right? Safe to say my best ever. [Eggman pushes a button on his wrist control. The robot starts moving, but suddenly, due to Knuckles' bad luck, its head explodes. The crowd gasps while Knuckles looks at the robot, puzzled.] Though it's basically a prototype. [The robot places its hand in the hole where its head exploded and pulls out a bomb.] Never really tested it in the field before, but the designs looked really sound. [The bomb starts beeping, and the robot places it back into its body.] So I figured with this string of good luck I've been having... [The bomb in the robot detonates, causing the body to rocket into the sky and completely explode. Parts rain down across the village, yet interestingly, Eggman chuckles happily.] Hey, now it's tested, and I don't have to clean up the mess. [Eggman turns to Knuckles.] Good luck with that, suckers. [Eggman leaves with Orbot and Cubot.]
[Knuckles feels really depressed]
Knuckles: Wow, my bad luck follows me wherever I go.
[Sonic, Amy, Sticks, and Tails walk up to Knuckles.]
Sonic: Or, is it good luck? After all, our side won.
Knuckles: I was on the other side.
Sonic: No you weren't; I sent you on a secret mission for us.
Knuckles: It was so secret, even I didn't know about it.
Sticks: Yeah. You see, you switched sides and your bad luck overpowered Eggman's good luck, but you were really on our side. So by losing, you won.
Knuckles: Wow... yeah.
[Everyone is leaving the village together.]
Knuckles: You know what I've been wondering, though?
Tails: Where crazy luck theories come from?
Knuckles: When the bad luck leaves me, where does it go?
[A large piece of the smashed robot lands right on top of Tails. Everyone turns around and sees him lying underneath the heavy metal.]
Tails: There's a perfectly good... explanation for this... [The equipment falls onto his head again.]