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Sonic X
Unfair Ball (transcript)

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This is the transcript for the Sonic X episode, "Unfair Ball".

Tails: The X Tornado seems to be running really great since we installed the Chaos Emerald. This has to be just about the smoothest flight I've ever been on. Huh? [The Chaos Emerald starts glowing.] I think it's picked up on something. Ahh! [The X Tornado starts shaking uncontrollably.] I can't control it. Something's pulling us off-course. Maybe it's another Chaos Emerald. Ergh!
Albert: Stop! Stop!
Tails: Better go down there. [Tails walks into Diamond Stadium and is amazed by its views. He sees Albert trying to operate a mowing vehicle.] Excuse me, sir! Hello? Yo!
Albert: Huh? Ah, keep away!
Tails: Huh? I'm sorry. It's just, I was in my plane and the Chaos Emerald started glowing and- don't worry mister, I won't hurt ya.
Albert: Sure is some story, little fella. Never would've guessed that was you flying that plane up there.
Tails: I'm sorry if I frightened you just now, sir. I've never seen a stadium as pretty as this before. You know, the grass is practically glowing!
Albert: Thanks for the compliment. Lots of folks say that turf here in Diamond Stadium is the best in the world, which makes me happy because I've been the groundskeeper at Diamond for 30 years.
Tails: 30 years?
Albert: You bet! Only I'm afraid that today's my last day here at the ol' place. You see, the Diamond's manager who wants to build an indoors stadium with artificial turf, so this place is gonna be demolished. I tell you, leaving this place behind feels like the end of an era. By the way, little fella, did you mention something about an emerald?
Tails: Yeah. [Pulls out the Chaos Emerald] See, I'm looking for an emerald just like this one. It's called a "Chaos Emerald".
Albert: A what? Would this be what you're looking for?
Tails: Ah, a Chaos Emerald!
Albert: I saw it laying next to the dumpster a couple of nights ago. Wasn't sure what it was.

[The two Chaos Emeralds start glowing. A bright light then shoots straight up into the night sky.]

Civilians: What is this? Is this magic?
Knuckles: I know that light.
Decoe: Dr. Eggman! Dr. Eggman! You might want to take a look at this, sir!
Dr. Eggman: What is that light?
Decoe: It appears to be coming from the baseball stadium.
Dr. Eggman: A stadium, you say? Fascinating! [Opens a drawer and pulls out a ball.] I have a feeling that there's an Emerald out in that Diamond!

[The opening theme song from Sonic X, "Gotta Go Fast" plays, but only in the 4Kids version.]

Ella: Let's start with the first course. Which knife and fork should we use?
Amy: Uh... these!
Cream: I agree. [Cheese replies in agreement.]
Ella: Right. You're such smart children, and what good manners!
Sonic: I don't see why we have to learn all this etiquette baloney in the first place.
Chris: My mom says it's important to learn good manners so we can eat properly.
Sonic: Well, I never learned anything about manners and I've been eating my whole life.
Mr. Tanaka: Sonic, kindly use your fruit knife.
Chuck: I wonder what's keeping Tails. He should be back by now.
Bokkun: [Laughs.] Sorry, I didn't know it was meal time, but Dr. Eggman's got a real important message for ya!
Sonic: Argh, not again!
Mr. Tanaka: How dare you barge in on us like this? You need to learn some manners.
Bokkun: Eh, that's what you say!

[The message begins playing.]

Dr. Eggman: Good evening, Sonic. I suggest you take a look out your window.
Sonic: Window?!

[Sonic opens up a window.]

Chuck: What is it?
Cream: That light's coming from a Chaos Emerald.
Chris: Is she right?
Sonic: You're half-right, Cream, but that's not just one Chaos Emerald.
Dr. Eggman: Correct. We both want those emeralds, but why not be good sports about it? That's why I suggest you suit up, and meet me over at the Diamond Stadium.
Mr. Tanaka: Diamond Stadium?!
Chuck: What for?
Dr. Eggman: I challenge you and your friends to a game of winner-take-all baseball! [Laughs.]
Bokkun: You guys might be a little rusty, so how about some batting practice?
Sonic: Uh oh...

[Bokkun starts batting numerous balls right at Sonic and co. while they try to avoid them.]

Ella: [Picks up Bokkun] You got a decent swing, but you keep hitting it foul! [Throws Bokkun out.]
Chris: What kind of pitch was that?
Chuck: I think that was a screwball.
Sonic: We have to get to that stadium!

[Sonic and his friends head right towards the stadium.]

Albert: What just happened there, little fella?
Tails: That always happens when Chaos Emeralds come together. I just hope the wrong person didn't see it.
Dr. Eggman: Heh-heh-heh! Well, if it isn't my foxy high-flying friend!
Tails: Dr. Eggman!
Dr. Eggman: [Laughs evilly and looks around in wonder.] Where's the rest of your team? It's almost game time!
Tails: Forget it! You want the Chaos Emeralds, but I won't give 'em to ya!
Dr. Eggman: Could it be Sonic and his pals are choosing to forfeit? I must say that's very un-sportsman-like of them. If there's one thing I hate more than a meddling hedgehog, it's a quitter!
Tails: I don't get it. What are you talking about?
Dr. Eggman: If they won't play ball with me, I still win!

[The spike at the end of the Egg Mobile transforms into a hand and charges at Tails but the fox dodges it.]

Albert: Wh-what's going on here, anyway?

[The hand grabs the Chaos Emerald that Albert is holding.]

Tails: Oh, no, he's got the Emerald!
Dr. Eggman: Heh-heh, one down, one to go! Hand it over! I won it fair and square. Now give me that second emerald or I'll have to use a force play!
Tails: I'd like to see you try it!

[The hand tries to grab Tails but Knuckles arrives and smashes the hand.]

Knuckles: That was close. You all right?
Tails: Knuckles! Am I glad to see you!
Knuckles: Well, look who it is. I like your costume.
Dr. Eggman: You again, and what brings you here? Doing Sonic's dirty work?
Knuckles: Let's get out of here, Tails.
Tails: Okay.
Sonic: [Runs right past the duo in the stadium.] Hey, how is it going, Knuckles?
Dr. Eggman: Well, if isn't Sonic. I thought you weren't going to show up, so I took one of the Emeralds and I was just collecting the second. [Chuckles] But now that you're here, maybe we can play ball.
Sonic: Alright. Just give us back that Chaos Emerald.
Dr. Eggman: All in good times, my speedy little opponent. But first, let me introduce you to our fellow teammates.
Sonic: Huh?

[A flying saucer appears and shines a bright light at the ground, emerging numerous E-21 Ballios robots out of it.]

Cream: They're scaring me, Amy.
Amy: It's okay.
Dr. Eggman: Not too shabby, eh? Now why don't we knock off the pre-game ceremonies and get to the reason we're all here. It's now game time.
Decoe and Bocoe: Let's play ball!
Tails: You can't have your game here!
Chuck: Wait. It just so happens ol' Grandpa Chuck here is a big baseball fan from way back!
Tails: Huh?
Chuck: A nice friendly game of baseball sounds like a great idea to me!
Tails: But... but, Chuck!
Dr. Eggman: [Laughs.] Ah, so you're Chuck, are you? Well, it's a great pleasure to finally meet you. A ball game must sound most exciting after being cooped up in that laboratory of yours day after day!
Tails: Hey, if you want to have a ball game, then you have to have it some place else! Isn't anybody listening to me?
Chuck: Well, Eggman, if the others are up-court, I would be more than happy to accept your challenge!
Tails: But you can't have your game here! You're going to ruin all the beautiful turf!
Decoe: What's that loud-mouthed fox getting so bent out of shape for?
Bocoe: Who knows?
Tails: Hey! I'll have you know this stadium means a lot to my friend!
Albert: It's okay, Tails.
Tails: Huh?
Albert: Only a matter of time before it's demolished anyway.
Chuck: Have I seen you somewhere?
Albert: Maybe during the seventh inning stretch. My name's Albert Butler. I'm the head groundskeeper here.
Chuck: Ah! I thought you looked familiar, I've seen you on television! You were good friends with the owner of the Diamond, Elmer Johnson, right?
Chris: Wow, you know him?
Albert: Elmer and I don't talk much anymore...
Chuck: [Cries a bit] This is such an honor to think that I get to play baseball on the world famous Diamond Stadium-
Dr. Eggman: Stop your blubbering and let's play baseball!
Amy: Okay.
Cream: How do we play?
Chuck: Alright, everybody, time for the Chaos Emerald baseball Playoff-
Dr. Eggman: [Pushes Chuck right aside] It's the first annual Eggman Intergalactic Baseball Challenge!
Knuckles: This is sad...
Chris: And totally embarrassing...
Mr. Tanaka: One-two, one-two!
Sonic: Does he have to be on our team?
Cream: Amy, do we get to play, too?
Amy: Don't see why not. [Cheese replies.]
Mr. Tanaka: Oh, yeah!
Chris: Hey, Grandpa, I'm not so sure this baseball game is such a good idea. What if Eggman's got something up on his sleeve?
Chuck: Chris, you may be right. For all we know, that guy could be using a corked bat.
Chris: That's not exactly what I meant.
Dr. Eggman: Let's decide which team will be first to bat. Rock, paper-
Knuckles: You can't be serious! You do know what will happen if Dr. Eggman wins, don't you? He won't be just winning the game, but the Chaos Emeralds, too. If Eggman wins this game, it'll mean nothing but catastrophe for all of us.
Dr. Eggman: I'd say that's nothing but stinking thinking!
Chuck: Why ruin everyone's fun?
Knuckles: Huh?
Amy: C'mon, Knuckles, don't you wanna play?
Cream: Don't be chicken!
Knuckles: Me? Chicken?!
Mr. Tanaka: Perhaps Mr. Knuckles is simply afraid to play a game of baseball!
Knuckles: Afraid?! I'm not afraid of anything!
Sonic: Great! Then you'll play, huh?
Knuckles: Alright! You asked for it! You want a team player, I'll give you a team player! Let's get this game on!
Decoe: Let's play ball!
Chris: Bring it on!

[Ballios pitcher throws the ball right at a superfast speed.]

Decoe: Strike 1.
Chris: Huh?!

[Sonic whistles loudly]

Decoe: [Ballios pitcher pitches.] Strike 2. [Pitches again.] Strike 3, one out.
Chris: [Walks off.] How could anybody hit a ball that fast?
Dr. Eggman: [Laughs.] Loser! Okay, boys, send in the next sucker.

[Tails steps up into the plate.]

Tails: It'll probably be a fastball.

[The E-21 Ballios pitcher stretches its arm across the range and flicks the ball to the E-21 Ballios catcher.]

Decoe: Strike 1.
Tails: Hey, umpire, that's not fair!
Decoe: What do you want? It's not my fault he's got long arms.
Amy: Give me your best pitch, ball boy! [Ballios pitcher pitches the ball.] I got it!

[Amy strikes the ball flying high. Sonic's team cheers on.]

Knuckles: We might not lose after all.

[A Ballios fielder throws another Ballios fielder into the air and catches it.]

Decoe: She's out!
Amy: Huh?! But I thought... [Dr. Eggman laughs.] Now I'll show 'em what I can do. I'm a much better pitcher anyway. [Throws the ball and strikes at the Ballios batter. The robot walks off.] Uh, sorry about that!

[Amy pitches and the batting Ballios misses while one of the other Ballios robots starts running on the field to the base where Tails is. It extends its legs to leap over a wide distance onto the base.]

Decoe: Safe.
Tails: Losing isn't fun...

[The ball is thrown and the Ballios batter strikes the ball away.]

Dr. Eggman: And it's out of the park!

[Sonic runs to the top of the stadium scoreboard and catches it.]

Decoe: Home run. Home run.
Chuck: You caught it, Sonic, but if it's outside the fence, it doesn't count.
Sonic: Ugh! Who says we gotta play by the rules anyway?! Cut me some slack!

[The next inning begins with Amy batting a pitch which hits the Ballios pitcher, shattering it into pieces.]

Amy: Sorry, that's a hit!

[Knuckles bats the pitch, resulting in a home run.]

Decoe: Sad to say, but it's a home run.

[Sonic's team cheers on.]

Scarlet: Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. This is Scarlet Garcia with a live report from Diamond Stadium. There appears to be a most unusual baseball game happening right this moment. The notorious Dr. Eggman and a team of robots are playing a game against Sonic and friends here at the stadium, the soon-to-be former home of the Diamonds. This is certain to become sports history. This is Scarlet Garcia reporting. Stay tuned to SSTV for continuing coverage of this momentous game.
Chuck: We're closing in on them! Now let's give it our best shot! Tanaka!
Mr. Tanaka: Yes, sir!
Chuck: I'm putting in a pitch-hitter for you!
Mr. Tanaka: Huh?!
Chuck: It's Cheese! [Cheese replies in excitement.]

[The Ballios pitcher pitches with hesitation.]

Decoe: Ball 1. [Pitches again.] Ball 2. [Pitches again.] Ball 3. [Pitches again.] Ball 4. Take your base.

[Cheese flies towards the first base.]

Dr. Eggman: Grr... you big loser! You call yourself a pitcher?!

[Cream steps into the field.]

Decoe: Play ball.
Cream: Oh, Mr. Pitcher, could you... maybe not throw the ball too hard? I've never played before.
Decoe: Balk. Batter takes first base.
Cream: Thank you, Mr. Pitcher!
Dr. Eggman: Grrrrr.... I oughta throw you on a scrap heap!

[Knuckles hits another home-run shot.]

Chuck: Alright, Knuckles! Another home-run!
Amy: That means we're tied!
Chris: Ah, look everybody!
Kid: Hey, you guys, hit it over this way!
Chuck: Huh?
Albert: Where'd all these people come from?

[Sonic's turn to bat. He manages to get to first base.]

Dr. Eggman: Grr... you strike out that squirt or else!

[Chris steps into the field. Ballios pitcher pitches.]

Decoe: Strike 1.
Chris: Oh, no. What if I let the whole team down?
Decoe: [Ballios pitches again.] Strike 2.
Sonic: Time out!
Chris: Huh?
Sonic: Hey, Chris! I know you can get a hit. There's nothing to it, Chris. All you have to do is concentrate.
Chris: That's easy for you to say. He's pitching so fast.
Sonic: So, he throwing a couple of fastballs. You can't let that get you down, pal. Just keep on trying and don't give up. Now get out there and do your best!
Chris: Okay.
Decoe: Play ball.
Chris: Sonic's right. I just have to keep trying.

[Ballios pitcher throws and Chris swings.]

Decoe: Strike 3.
Chris: At least I tried my best.
Chuck: Chris, run!

[Chris sees a Ballios fielder running after the ball and proceeds to run. Sonic makes it to home base while Chris runs to first base.]

Decoe: Safe.
Chris: I did it! I got to first base!

[Sonic's team cheers Chris on.]

Dr. Eggman: Oh, yeah? Those bumbling clowns! They won't make a fool out of me! [Bocoe appears with a remote and Dr. Eggman presses a button on it. One of the Ballios robots has its head detach and attach onto Sonic's head.]
Sonic: What's that?
Dr. Eggman: Oh, dear! My robot! It's malfunctioning! It will explode any minute now! Run, Sonic! Hurry! Run away!
Chris: Sonic, what are we gonna do?
Sonic: He's trying to get us to forfeit the game! I gotta get rid of this thing quick! [Runs around the stadium.] Hey, you're really hanging on!
Knuckles: Sonic!
Sonic: Huh?
Knuckles: Jump, Sonic! Hurry!
Sonic: Okay! [Sonic jumps into the air and Knuckles is charging towards the Ballios head.] Hey, watch it, will you?! [Knuckles knocks the head off Sonic and it explodes in the air.] Thanks, you're a lifesaver!
Dr. Eggman: [Laughs.] You may have beaten me at baseball, but with these shiny blue Chaos Emeralds snuggled ever-so-safely in my pocket, I'm the real winner after all! Aren't I?! [Laughs and escapes.]
Amy: Now he has both the Chaos Emeralds.

[Crowd cheering.]

Scarlet: As you can see, there's been quite a turnout for this event. The game was, of course, the last to be played here at the stadium. [Gasps] Could that be...
Chris: Hey, look, it's Elmer Johnson!
Elmer: I was watching at home. I must say it was quite a remarkable game. It's all thanks to you, Al, and I- well, Al, I can't help but think how much you've done for the Diamonds over the years and what a great friend you've been.
Albert: Thank you.
Elmer: I'm thinking about moving the Diamond turf over to the new stadium intact. I sure could use your help.
Albert: Sure thing.

[The crowd cheers.]

Chuck: Well, we may have lost the Chaos Emeralds, but I think we've learned an important lesson about working together, and I'm sure you'll agree, we'll be even stronger next time we meet Eggman.

[The Sonic X closing theme "Gotta Go Fast" (shortened) plays as the credits roll.]