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Too Tall Tails
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Too Tall Tails".

[The episode begins in the forest. The camera moves to the left side of the screen until it reaches Professor Von Schlemmer, who is tied to a tree by his wrists. Dr. Robotnik is standing next to him.]

Professor Von Schlemmer: You already forced me to tell you how to build my invention, Dr. Robotnik. Now let me go! Or, you go and I'll stay here.
Dr. Robotnik: Stop blabbering, Professor! I'm not releasing you until I'm sure your machine works!

[The camera moves over to the left side of the screen. As Scratch is scratching his head with his right index finger, Grounder is holding his left tread in both his hands as he hops on his right tread in pain. They are both standing near Von Schlemmer's Humongo Gizmo.]

Grounder: Ooh! Oh-ho! Ow-how! Ow! Ow!

[Grounder picks up the lever with his right hand and puts it in the slot, but it won't stay put.]

Grounder: I need a bolt!
Scratch: You want a bolt? here's a bolt!

[Scratch runs up to Grounder and grabs the bolt on his back with his left hand. Grounder grunts as Scratch unscrews the bolt.]

Scratch: Bwahaha!

[Grounder's arms disassemble and his head pops off his body, which falls over along with his nose pops off. Robotnik walks up to him.]

Robotnik: You incompetent! This is no time to fall apart! Pull yourself together!

[Grounder's body gets back up and picks up his head with both its hands.]

Grounder: Will do, O great one!

[Grounder's body puts his head on it upside down. Scratch then puts the lever into the slot.]

Scratch: Look what I did! I got it finished! I'm Dr. Robotnik's favorite lackey!
Von Schlemmer: Well, I'm his favorite victim!

[Robotnik is now holding the nozzle of the machine in his right hand.]

Robotnik: Now we will see how well Professor Von Schlemmer's Humongo Gizmo performs!

[Grounder pulls the lever back with his right hand. The Humongo Gizmo starts up and bounces the hose like a whip. The hose whips Robotnik on his butt.]

Robotnik: Whoa! Yeow! Ow! Ouch!

[The Humongo Gizmo sputters, then deflates. Scratch and Grounder run up to Robotnik.]

Grounder: Did it work, O most vile one?
Robotnik: You stupid mounds of metal!

[Robotnik stands up and growls as his face turns red. He then walks up to Von Schlemmer.]

Robotnik: Okay, Professor Von Schlemmer, what do we have to do to get your invention to work?

[Von Schlemmer nods his head, "No".]

Von Schlemmer: I'll never tell you! Unless, of course, you fiendishly torture me!

[Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are carrying tools in their arms, run up to Robotnik.]

Robotnik: Torture? I think that can be arranged!

[Scratch and Grounder drop the tools in front of Robotnik.]

Robotnik: Hmmm, what's the most unbearable torture deice I have here?

[Robotnik kneels down and tosses various torture devices aside with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Some fools might be able to withstand the torment of the rack, the pain of the whip, or the horror of the iron maiden,

[Robotnik then stands up and is now holding a feather in his left hand.]

Robotnik: But nobody can stand the agony of de-feet!

[Von Schlemmer screams as Grounder pulls his left shoe off his left foot with his right hand. Robotnik is now holding the feather in his right hand.]

Robotnik: Soon you will be begging to tell me what I want to know!

[Robotnik tickles Von Schlemmer's left foot with the feather, and Von Schlemmer giggles uncontrollably. He pulls on the ropes he is tied to, causing the tree to shake and apples to fall from it. Robotnik ducks, and leaves fall from the tree as well. Robotnik now has an apple in his mouth, which he spits out. He then grunts as an apple hits him on the head.]

Robotnik: Nobody makes a fool out of Dr. Robotnik! Take this!

[Robotnik tickles Von Schlemmer's left foot again, and Von Schlemmer giggles uncontrollably.]

Von Schlemmer: Okay! Okay, okay, okay!

[Von Schlemmer continues giggling.]

Von Schlemmer: I can't stand it!

[Von Schlemmer continues giggling.]

Von Schlemmer: I'll tell you, I'll tell you!

[Von Schlemmer continues giggling. Scratch is now standing next to the deflated Humongo Gizmo]

Von Schlemmer: You have the Schmitzel connected to the Fugelmizer, when it should be connected to the Glockenpoogle!

[Von Schlemmer continues giggling. Scratch then grabs a piece of the Humongo in each hand and connects them. The Humongo Gizmo reinflates and starts back up. Grounder's head pops off his body.]

Grounder: Ha ha! It's working! What's next, your viciousness?

[Von Schlemmer is now in a cage, which is being hoisted up by a helicopter a robot is driving.]

Robotnik: Take this fool to the deepest, darkest part of the Jungle of Doom, where no one will ever find him!

[Grounder jumps excitedly and rubs his drills together.]

Grounder: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! This Humongo Gizmo machine is really going to be great!
Scratch: I was just gonna say the same thing! It's fantastic! It's collosal!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: When I activate this machine, I will become the undisputed master of Mobius!

[Robotnik laughs evilly as he pounds his fists together. The screen then transitions to a view of Sonic running along the road, with Tails flying behind him. Coconuts, who is riding his segway from "Big Daddy", is chasing after them.]

Coconuts: I'll catch you yet, you overgrown pincushion! I will, I will, I will!

[Sonic looks back at Coconuts.]

Sonic: Eat our dust, Coconuts!
Tails: I'm so hungry, I could eat our dust!

[Sonic looks back at Tails.]

Sonic: Don't worry, little bud! We'll take a snack break as soon as we shake that metal monkey!

[Sonic screeches to a halt.]

Sonic: Hang on, little buddy! I've got a great bit comin' up!

[Tails runs up to Sonic as Sonic spins into the ground.]

Tails: All right!

[Sonic spins and digs down to an underground body of water.]

Sonic: I'm pullin' a slick trick on banana brains!

[Sonic holds his right hand up to his right ear.]

Sonic: We got ourselves a gusher!

[Sonic swipes at the dirt holding back the water with his right hand. He runs away as the water chases after him. When Sonic reaches the top of the hole, he shouts at Tails as he grabs his right hand with his left hand and runs away, with him in tow. As the water flows out of the geyser, Coconuts loses control of his segway and slips on the water.]

Coconuts: Whoa!

[Sonic builds a stone wall, then a brick wall behind the stone wall.]

Coconuts:: Yipe! Whoa-ho-ho!

[Coconuts drives his segway through the stone wall, leaving a Coconuts-shaped hole in it, then he drives through the brick wall, knocking some of the bricks away.]

Coconuts: Oof!

[Coconuts then drives into a steel wall and stops.]

Coconuts: Yipe!

[Coconuts mutters unintelligibly as he is now flattened and falls. Sonic runs up to a sign that says, Welcome To... Wienerville, with Tails flying behind him. He screeches to a halt when he is near the sign.]

Sonic: Hey, Tails! We're in luck!

[Sonic points his right index finger at the sign.]

Tails: For sure! Welcome to... Wienerville.

[The citizens of Wienerville are revealed to be anthropomorphic sausages. One of them is revealed to be elderly and holding a cane in his right hand, another is revealed to be a mother holding her purse in her right arm and her son's right hand in her left hand as they walk across the road together. They pass by a kid talking to a man, and two men having a conversation near a sausage-shaped car. Three more citizens are also shown, one of them holding a box in both her hands, and another with glasses and a blue shirt talking to one in a business suit.]

Tails: All right! It's the weenie capital of Mobius!
Sonic: I've heard of this place. They've got the best chili dogs on the planet! Hey, this is a real weenie town!

[Sonic points his right index finger at the Super Sausage Factory, which is loading sausages into a sausage-shaped truck.]

Sonic: Get a load of this Super Sausage Factory!
Tails: Yum! Yeah, I just hope they can make em' fast enough for me to eat! I'm starved!

[Mayor Knackwurst jumps excitedly when he sees Sonic and Tails.]

Mayor Knackwurst: Hoo! I don't believe it! Sonic ze famous Hedgehog is here! In my town! In person!

[Knackwurst runs up to Sonic and Tails.]

Knackwurst: Welcome! I'm Mayor Knackwurst!
Tails: Hi, I'm hungry!
Sonic: You'll have to excuse my little chum. We missed a lot of meals the last few days.

[Knackwusrt laughs, then pats Tails' head with his left hand.]

Knackwurst: All growing youngsters have bottomless appetites! It will be my honor to serve you a feast of Wienerville's delectable delights!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic and Tails are seated at a table outside a diner, where the Waitress is serving them.]

Waitress: Hi, Y'all! Will this table do?
Sonic: Just fine, Ma'am. Thanks!

[Sonic holds up his right thumb.]

Knackwurst: Which of our famous delicacies would you prefer?

[The waitress comes in, carrying a tray of various hot dogs in both her hands. Sonic and Tails stare hungrily at them.]

Waitress: Our chili dogs, kraut dogs, corn dogs, turkey dogs, wienerschnitzel, braunschweiger.
Tails: They all look scrumptious, for a start!

[The Waitress puts a plate of chili dogs on the table with her right hand. Tails picks up the plate with both his hands and eats the chili dogs on it. Sonic stares at Tails in shock. Tails then licks the plate clean.]

Tails: Real good! Now I'm ready for the main course!

[Tails now has several empty plates near him. Sonic chuckles.]

Sonic: When Tails gets as hungry as this, you never need a garbage disposal!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Robotnik is standing near the Humongo Gizmo, pulling the lever back and forth with both his hands. Scratch and Grounder are standing next to him.]

Grounder: Aw, go on! No way that humongo gizmo can really make something big out of something small!

[Robotnik turns to face Grounder.]

Robotnik: Stop yapping, and I'll give you a demonstration! First, I'll need something very tiny!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch: How bout'... Grounder's brain? Bwahaha!
Grounder (sarcastically): Funny.

[Robotnik walks up to Grounder, and picks the lint out of his belly button with his right hand.]

Robotnik: This'll do; belly button lint!

[Robotnik puts the lint on the stool. He is now holding the nozzle of the Humongo Gizmo in his right hand and the hose in his left, and turns to face Grounder.]

Robotnik: Okay, Grounder! Commence the enlargement action!

[Grounder pulls the lever forward with his right hand, and the Humongo Gizmo starts up. Orange gas sprays from the nozzle. which makes the lint enlarge.]

Robotnik: Oh! Success! But let's make it really humongous! Full power!
Grounder: Your every wish is my command, your sliminess!

[Grounder pulls the lever back with his right hand. He then loses control and pushes it forward.]

Grounder: Oops!

[Electrical sparks emit from the machine, and Grounder screams in shock. Scratch runs up to him.]

Scratch: Give me that, you dodo!

[Scratch grabs the lever with both his hands.]

Robotnik: I'm surrounded by incompetence! Must I do everything myself?

[Robotnik runs up to the Humongo Gizmo and pulls the lever forward with both his hands. The lever then breaks off.]

Scratch: Uh-oh!

[Scratch and Grounder stare in shock as the Humongo Gizmo's boiler expands, until it looks as if it is going to burst.]

Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder: It's gonna explode!

[Sure enough, the boiler of the Humongo Gizmo does explode. Orange gas emits from it, and when it clears, Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder are revealed to be covered in ash. The tree then falls on them. The screen then transitions to a view outside the Wienerville diner. Tails is still sitting at the table, holding a fork in his left hand and a knife in his right as he eats the sausage on the fork noisily, then burps. He picks up the plate with his right hand and tosses it in the pile behind him. Sonic is standing next to Knackwurst.]

Sonic: Right now, the only thing bigger than Tails' appetite is his stomach!

[Tails is now holding a blue napkin in his right hand, which he wipes his mouth with.]

Tails: Great Grub! Now where's a good place for dessert?
Waitress: Hon, why don't y'all try Major Mustard's 41-Flavor Ice Cream Emporium?

[Tails walks away.]

Tails: 41 flavors? Is that all?

[The sound of hissing can be heard as Sonic looks up.]

Sonic: Hey, what's that?

[A cloud of orange gas from the Humongo Gizmo can be seen looming over Wienerville.]

Knackwurst: Hmmm. Strangest-looking cloud I've ever seen!

[Tails walks towards Major Mustard's 41-Flavor Ice Cream Emporium.]

Tails: I'll start out with a triple-decker cone, then you'll see some major munching!

[The orange gas cloud looms down at Tails, who coughs violently.]

Tails: Hey, what's happening?

[Tails begins to enlarge massively in size. He soon becomes the size of a giant.]

Tails: Hey, the buildings are getting smaller!

[Sonic runs up to Tails.]

Sonic: No, the buildings are the same! It's you! Something's haywire, little buddy! Why, you're gettin' taller!
Tails: Yeah, I am! All right!

[Tails stops enlarging.]

Tails: I don't like this anymore, Sonic! Do something! I'm scared!

[The camera moves down to Sonic.]

Tails: Don't worry, little buddy! I'll figure somethin' out!

[Tails rubs his stomach with both his hands.]

Tails: My appetite's getting bigger! I'm so hungry, I can't stand it!

[Tails reaches down and grabs Major Mustard's 41-Flavor Ice Cream emporium with his right hand. The citizens of Wienerville scream and panic as they run away. Ice cream cones fall out of Major Mustard's 41-Flavor Ice Cream Emporium, which Tails now eats.]

Tails: Do something, Sonic! I can't stop eating! I gotta split before I hurt somebody!

[The citizens of Wienerville panic as they run away from the Super Sausage Factory, which Tails stomps with his left foot. The citizens of Wienerville run past Sonic, who shakes his right hand.]

Sonic: Don't panic! I'll think of something! I hope.

[Tails walks past the Welcome To... Wienerville sign, which Knackwurst is standing near.]

Tails: I'm so hungry, I can't control myself!

[Tails' right tail hits the Welcome To... Wienerville... sign. Knackwurst stares in shock and screams as the sign breaks and falls towards him.]

Knackwusrst: Oh no! Help!

[The screen fades to black. In the next scene, Sonic runs up to Knackwurst and pushes him out of the way just in time as the sign falls to the ground and breaks. The Waiteress runs up to Sonic, who is holding a brush in his left hand and a feather duster in his right, the latter of which he uses to dust off Knackwurst's face.]

Waitress: Phew! That was a close call!
Sonic: I don't know what's come over my little buddy!
Knackwurst: Oh! Your 'little buddy' almost destroyed my town und me with it!

[The camera moves over to Tails, who is holding a tree in his left hand. He munches on the leaves from it.]

Tails (with his mouth full): Sonic, what do I do? I'm just so hungry!

[Sonic runs up to Tails.]

Sonic: Not to worry, pal! I'll take care of everything!
Tails: But how?

[Sonic scratches his head with his right index finger.]

Sonic: I'll, uh... er, uh... can I get back to you on that?
Knackwurst: That horrible monster! I thought I was a goner!
Waitress: Oh, I'm sure Tails didn't mean any harm! It was an accident!

[The sound of Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic hovercraft hovering can be heard.]

Robotnik (through a megaphone): An accident?

[Knackwurst and the Waitress gasp and stare in shock at Robotnik, whom the camera moves up to. Robotnik is holding a megaphone in his left hand, Scratch is in the left seat of the Egg-O-Matic, and Grounder is in the right.]

Robotnik: Don't be fooled! It is a vicious scheme to destroy your village, and the rotten one who's behind the wicked plot is none other than Sonic, the deceitful hedgehog!

[Sonic shakes his left fist angrily at Robotnik.]

Sonic: That's a lie, Robotnik, and you know it!

[Robotnik laughs evilly. He then hits Scratch's head with his left hand and Grounder's with his right. Scratch and Grounder both stare angrily at him.]

Robotnik: The accidental destruction of the Humongo Gizmo machine is the most fortunate mishap of my illustrious career!

[Robotnik hugs Scratch with his left arm and Grounder with his right. Because of how tightly he hugs them, Scratch squawks in pain.]

Scratch: I bet you had it planned all along, huh, boss?

[Robotnik flies his Egg-O-Matic down to Knackwurst and the Waitress, both of whom run away, and the latter of whom screams in fear. They run up to Sonic.]

Waitress: How dare you accuse Sonic of anything underhanded! He's Mobius National Hero!

[The Waitress points her left index finger at Robotnik.]

Waitress: And everyone knows you are Mobius National villain!

[Robotnik jumps out of his Egg-O-Matic.]

Robotnik: I've seen the error of my ways! Yes, indeed! I'm turning over a new leaf! If I was such a bad guy, would I be bringing you all these gifts?

[The camera moves over to the Egg-O-Matic, which is surrounded by presents, some of which Scratch and Grounder are carrying in their arms. Knackwurst and the Waitress stare in delight and run up to them, while Sonic stares unamused. He holds up his left index finger, and the other citizens of Wienerville pop out from behind rocks, bushes, and trees. They all run up to the presents, some of which Scratch hands to them with both his hands.]

Wienerville Citizen #1: Wow! Look at that!
Wienerville Citizen #2: Wow, a molded plastic coat hanger!
Wienerville Citizen #3: A tum-tum tummy tightener!
Wienerville Citizen #4: Genuine sure unphony Diamondiums!
Wienerville Citizen #5: An umbrella hat!
Wienerville Citizen #6: Ah, nice toilet seat cover, man!

[The camera zooms out on Sonic, who crosses his arms angrily.]

Sonic: They're not gonna fall for that!

[The Citizens of Wienerville all run past Sonic, carrying their gifts in their arms. Sonic stares in shock at them. The camera moves over to Robotnik, who is now standing atop a podium as they all look at him.]

Robotnik: Friends, sausages, and Mobians,

[The camera zooms in on Robotnik.]

Robotnik: You must do exactly as I tell you,

[Sonic runs past Robotnik.]

Robotnik: For your own safety!
Sonic: Don't listen to him! He's trying to trick you!

[Sonic holds out both his hands like stop signs, and Robotnik points his right index finger at the Citizens of Wienerville. The camera zooms out on Robotnik.]

Robotnik: It's Sonic who's deceiving you! Look what his monstrous friend has done to your fair town!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where the ruins of Wienerville are.]

Wienerville Citizen #1: Yeah, sure!
Wienerville Citizen #2: You know what? I think Robotnik makes sense!
Wienerville Citizen #3: Robotnik is a reasonable guy!
Wienerville Citizens: He's a nice guy!

[Sonic stares in shock upon hearing what the citizens of Wienerville said.]

Sonic: This wasn't Tails' fault! He wouldn't hurt anybody!
Wienerville Citizen #1: Yeah, right!
Wienerville Citizen #2: I've heard that! Uh-huh!

[Tails runs up to a corn field.]

Tails: I can't stop myself! The bigger I get, the hungrier I get!

[Tails grabs some corn stalks with his right hand and eats them noisily. He then hears a horse whinnying. He looks over at it, revealing it to be pulling a cart filled with Mobian Melons. The driver stares in shock at Tails and screams in fear. He pulls the reins, causing the horse to speed up and neigh. Tails walks up to the horse and cart.]

Tails: Oh, boy! Yummy! Mobian Melons!

[Tails grabs the cart with his left hand, causing the driver to spin in mid-air. The driver falls and the horse neighs. Tails is now holding the cart in both his hands, and he pours the Mobian Melons from it into his mouth.]

Tails: Mmm, that really hits the spot!

[Tails belches, and the force of his belch causes the screen to rumble. The Citizens of Wienerville panic and run away.]

Wienerville Citizens: Help! The Giant! Run away! He's gonna get us! Help! Run from the Giant!
Knackwurst: The burpquake is destroying our town!

[Knackwurst runs away.]

Tails: I didn't mean it! I'm sorry, everybody!

[Tails belches again, causing the screen to rumble once more. He then runs away.]

Knackwurst: Oh, my gosh! He's heading for the bean and cabbage fields!

[Knackwurst points his right index finger at Tails, then falls over. As Tails runs away, Robotnik points his right index finger at Tails.]

Robotnik: After Tails! Don't let him get away!

[The Citizens of Wienerville all scream as they run past Sonic.]

Sonic: You're makin' a big mistake!

[The Waitress, who is holding a pink purse in her right arm, runs up to Sonic. She points her left index finger at him.]

Waitress: Our big mistake was trusting you!

[Sonic jumps in frustration.]

Waitress: The only one who can save us now is dear, sweet, generous Dr. Robotnik!

[The Waitress runs away. Robotnik then jumps back into his Egg-O-Matic.]

Robotnik: I am a genius! Soon those fools will think Sonic is the villain and I am the hero!

[Robotnik holds up his right index finger, then pounds his fists together.]

Robotnik: Then all of Mobius will be putty in my hands!

[Robotnik laughs evilly. He then starts up his Egg-O-Matic, which takes to the sky.]

Robotnik: I'm returning to my fortress to get just the weapon I need for this situation! I'm leaving you two in charge!

[Scratch points his right hand at himself.]

Scratch: You can depend on me!

[Grounder points his right drill at himself.]

Grounder: Ha! I'm the one you can depend on!

[Scratch stares at Grounder.]

Robotnik: Silence! If anything goes wrong, I'll melt you down and turn you into hood ornaments!

[Scratch and Grounder stare at each other. In the next scene, Sonic is pacing the floor clockwise nervously.]

Sonic: I gotta think of something fast, or Tails is history!

[Sonic suddenly stops pacing when he hears Grounder.]

Grounder: Boy, Professor Von Schlemmer's gizmo gas sure turned the tables on Sonic!

[Sonic tiptoes with a sly grin on his face, then runs behind the bush that Scratch and Grounder are near.]

Scratch: Yeah, and the Professor's the only one who has the antidote. He's hidden away real good, where no one will ever find him! Ha ha ha ha!

[Scratch waves both his arms in joy. Sonic, who is now disguised as a coach and holding a clipboard in his left arm, jumps out from behind the bush. Scratch and Grounder flinch and stare in shock at him. Sonic picks up the whistle around his neck with his right hand]

Sonic: Do my eyes deceive me, or am I looking at the future Mr. International Hunk?
Grounder: Huh?
Scratch: Where?

[Scratch and Grounder look around, then Sonic points his right index finger at them.]

Sonic: I'll make you famous, like I did with Arnold Schwarzennegermeyerbot!

[Scratch raises his left fist in approval, and Grounder raises his right drill in approval.]

Scratch: Whoa! All right!
Grounder: I could go for that!

[Sonic looks at the watch on his right wrist.]

Sonic: Well, the bodybuilder's contest get started in 30 seconds, so lets get you pumped up!

[Scratch and Grounder stare in shock as Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying various weights in both his hands, which he sets down in front of Scratch and Grounder. Scratch catches a barbell in both his hands, but it is so heavy, it knocks him down.]

Scratch: Whoa!

[Sonic is now holding an identical barbell in both his hands. He tosses it at Grounder, who catches it in both his arms. It is so heavy, it knocks him down and his nose comes off.]

Grounder: Whoa!

[Grounder's nose lands back on his head, and both Scratch and Grounder's barbells are so heavy, they have made giant barbell-shaped holes in the ground. Sonic dusts off both his hands.]

Sonic: That ought to do it! Now it's showtime!

[Sonic grabs the whistle with his right hand and blows into it. He runs away, then comes back, no longer wearing his disguise, and pushing a stage with both his hands. He jumps onto the stage and pulls a handle, which pulls down a screen that says, MR. MACHO MOBIUS CONTEST.]

Sonic: Let the Mr. Macho Mobius Contest begin!

[Sonic reaches offscreen with his left hand and pulls out a microphone. The camera zooms out as Scratch and Grounder jump onto the stage. Sonic turns to face them.]

Sonic: Let's hear it for Grounder and Scratch, who will amaze us by flexing their massive muscles!

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his right hand and pulls out a remote control. He presses the red button on it, and the sound of an audience cheering can be heard. The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, revealing a tape recorder, which Sonic turns to face. Scratch and Grounder flex their muscles, and in the process, they sweat and short-circuit themselves. Sonic presses the button on the remote control, and the cheering stops.]

Sonic: Let's hear it for our two sweaty contestants!

[Sonic presses the button on the remote control again, and the cheering continues. Scratch and Grounder stop flexing and have dejected looks on their faces.]

Sonic: On Mobius, mind is as important as muscle, so now for the interview portion of our contest! Give me the first thought that enters your mind, guys!

[Sonic pulls out a piece of paper with his right hand and looks over it.]

Sonic: Tell us, how would you solve world pollution?
Scratch: Well, uh...
Grounder: Pollution?
Sonic: And how would you bring about world peace?
Scratch: Gee, uh, gosh!
Grounder: That's a hard one!
Sonic: And finally, where is the famous Dr. Von Schlemmer hidden?

[Scratch and Grounder both run up to Sonic.]

Scratch and Grounder: I know that! In the bottomless pit in the middle of the Jungle of Doom!
Sonic: And what do the judges say? It's a tie, folks!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying a gold trophy in his left hand, and a silver one in his right. He hands the former to Scratch and the latter to Grounder.]

Sonic: Here are your trophies, and your prize money!

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a coin dispenser. He picks two quarters from them with his right hand and tosses one into each trophy. Scratch and Grounder look into them and frown.]

Sonic: And the grand prize...

[The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, where an Edzell Delorean is. Scratch and Grounder stare at it in delight. Sonic runs up to it]

Sonic: A once brand new Edzell Deloran!

[in the next scene, Scratch and Grounder are in the Edzell Deloran, which has started up. Grounder is in the driver's seat, and Scratch is in the passenger's.]

Sonic: Yes, hunks, it's everything you've ever dreamed of in a luxury car!

[Scratch and Grounder drive away as Sonic waves his right hand at them. The camera then zooms out on Sonic, revealing him to be holding the steering wheel to the Edzell Deloran in his right hand.]

Sonic: Except, of course, for the steering wheel.
Scratch: D'oh, turn left, you idiot!
Grounder: I can't, I can't!
Scratch: Watch out!
Grounder: Oh, no!

[Sonic flinches as Grounder crashes the Edzell Deloran. The screen then transitions to a view of the Jungle of Doom, where various eyes can be seen watching in the background. The camera zooms out as Sonic runs across the path.]

Sonic: I gotta find Von Schlemmer fast, or my Foxy little buddy is a dead duck!

[Sonic stops just outside the bottomless pit.]

Sonic: Yoo-hoo! Professor Von Schlemmer!

[The camera moves down to the bottom of the pit, where Von Schlemmer is seen holding a crossword puzzle in his left hand, and a pencil in his right.]

Von Schlemmer: Yes, it is I, and boy, am I tired of killin' time doin' crossword puzzles!
Sonic: Don't worry, I'm here to help you!
Von Schlemmer: You're just in time! Say, what's a five-letter word for "Contraption"?

[The camera cuts to a close-up of the crossword puzzle, revealing it to be empty.]

Sonic: "Gizmo"!
Von Schlemmer: I should've known that!
Sonic: I've got an idea! I'll be right back! Hang tight!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, driving a crane. He stops the crane just outside the bottomless pit.]

Sonic: I'll reel you out of there!
Von Schlemmer: That's real clever!

[Sonic pulls the controls back with both his hands, lowering the hook, then forward, raising it. He pulls Von Schlemmer out by the seat of his pants, which rips, causing him to fall just outside the bottomless pit, and exposing his underwear, which resemble cheese. Sonic gets out of the crane and up to Von Schlemmer.]

Von Schlemmer: I thought I'd never get out of there! Say, you feel a breeze around here? How can I ever repay you?
Sonic: I'm desparate to save my friend! I heard you have an antidote!
Von Schlemmer: I do indeed! When I was a lad, I went to the circus one summer, and I...
Sonic: Not an anecdote! An antidote, for your gizmo gas!

[Upon hearing this, Von Schlemmer's glasses spin in mid-air.]

Von Schlemmer: Why didn't you say so? The cure for Gizmo Gas is the fragrance of the rare Hoot-n-Toot Garlic, which grows in the garden of the Evil Wizard Lizard!
Sonic: Well, how do I get them?

[Von Schlemmer points his left index finger to the right side of the screen.]

Von Schlemmer: First, you go north 5,012 miles to the Gargantuan Islands, turn left at the first palm tree, take Pico Boulevard vest, ha ha, you can't miss it!

[Sonic runs away.]

Von Schlemmer: Careful! The garden looks peaceful, but it's filled with deadly booby traps!

[Sonic reaches the garden of the Evil Wizard Lizard, and sees the Hoot-N-Toot garlic being guarded by the Evil Wizard Lizard. He runs up to the garlic and grabs it with his right hand. He then runs away from a spiked wall trap, which gets smashed by a falling safe. He then runs through a giant mouse trap just in time to avoid getting caught in it, then spins past a swinging spiked ball. He then stops to dodge spikes that pop out of the ground, and runs back along the path. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails is surrounded by the angry Citizens of Wienerville.]

Tails: It's not my fault! I can't help myself!

[The camera moves down to the angry Citizens of Wienerville, who all shake their fists at Tails. Some of them climb onto his left foot.]

Wienerville Citizens: Hey, hey, look what you did! You can't eat us! Now what have you done? Look at our town! What a jerk!

[Sonic runs up to Tails, with Von Schlemmer, who is holding the Hoot-n-Toot garlic in his left hand, in tow.]

Sonic: Hold it, everyone! We've got the cure; the Hoot-N-Toot garlic!

[The Waitress runs up to Sonic.]

Waitress: You're too late! Our new National Hero, Dr. Robotnik, has returned to save the day!

[Robotnik, who is piloting his Insto-Freeze Cannon, aims it at Tails.]

Robotnik: My Insto-Freeze Cannon will turn Tails into a popsicle!
Von Schlemmer: This'll cure him instantly, but how will we get it into his mouth?
Sonic: I got an idea! Professor, you're a scientific genius! Do you know how to build a...

[Sonic grabs Von Schlemmer's head with his left hand and pulls it towards him. He then whispers into his right ear. Von Schlemmer then pulls out his bag with both his hands and empties it. A cheese sandwich with a bite taken out of it, a half-eaten sausage, a nickel, a dime, a piece of paper with a figure on it, two green saucers, a fork, one of the apples from the tree, a note, and the plans for a hot dog launcher all fall out of it. Von Schlemmer picks up the plans for the hot dog launcher with his right hand and looks over them. He adjusts his glasses with his right hand.]

Von Schlemmer: By an amazing coinkydink, it so happens zat I got the plans right here! I can have it finished in 15 months.

[Sonic snatches the plans from Von Schlemmer with his left hand and looks over them.]

Sonic: Hmmm. I can build it in 15 seconds!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, building a giant hot dog launcher. He then runs up to Von Schlemmer.]

Sonic: Finished! Well, what do you think, Professor?
Von Schlemmer: Amazing!

[Von schlemmer looks at the Hot Dog Launcher, which is holding a giant chili dog with the Hoot-N-Toot garlic on it.]

Von Schlemmer: The world's biggest wiener launcher!
Sonic: Yeah, one chili dog to go, with everything on it, plus one special addition; the Hoot-N-Toot garlic!
Robotnik: Sonic is too late!

[Robotnik laughs evilly, and has his Insto-Freeze Cannon target Tails.]

Robotnik: My Freeze Cannon will beat him to the punch!

[Sonic is holding the remote to the hot dog launcher in his left hand, and presses the button on it with his right index finger. The hot dog launcher launches the giant chili dog into the air, and Robotnik presses a button on the Insto-Freeze Cannon's control panel with his right index finger. The Insto-Freeze cannon fires a beam, and the giant chili dog flies towards Tails.]

Tails: Neat-o!

[Tails catches the chili dog in his mouth and eats it.]

Tails: Mmmm! Delicious!

[Tails screams, then shrinks back to his normal size just in time, as the beam that was aimed at him misses and bounces off the canyon. The beam now heads towards Robotnik, who screams as he runs away. He, Scratch, and Grounder all try to run away from the beam.]

Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder: Oh, no!
Grounder: It's going to hit us!

[Sure enough, the beam does hit Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, freezing them. Robotnik spits out some ice.]

Robotnik: I hate...

[Robotnik spits out more ice.]

Robotnik: That hedgehog!

[Tails jumps into Sonic's arms, and they hug each other.]

Tails: Thanks, Sonic, you've saved me again!
Sonic: Just glad to have you back, little bro!

[Knackwurst and Von Schlemmer run up to Sonic and Tails. Knackwurst chuckles.]

Knackwurst: Ze Professor explained everything; it was all Dr. Robotnik's evildoing!

[The Waitress walks up to Sonic and Tails.]

Waitress: I just feel awful for those terrible things I said! How can we ever make it up to you?
Tails: How bout' 746 chili dogs, and some nice dessert?
Sonic: Well, wouldn't you know it? The one thing that didn't shrink was his appetite!

[Sonic winks his left eye at the camera, and the screen zooms out on him, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[Tails is hovering above a giant ice cream sundae, and holding a spoon in his left hand and a can of soda in his right. Tails scoops some ice cream with the spoon, when he hears Sonic.]

Sonic: Hey, Tails, what are you doin'?
Tails: Havin' lunch, Sonic! Want some?

[The camera moves down to the bottom of the sundae, where Sonic is.]

Sonic: No thanks, little bud!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying a plate with bananas, green pineapples, and an apple on it in both his hands.]

Sonic: You know, I love chili dogs, but the old bod needs some fruit and vegetables now and then!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, carrying a plate with a milk carton and various cheeses on it in both his hands.]

Sonic: Milk and dairy products, too.

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, holding a plate with a fish and a chicken drumstick on it in his left hand, and a plate with a baguette on it in his right.]

Sonic: Not to mention fish and poultry!

[Tails, having finished the giant sundae, is now holding the spoon in his right hand as he licks the sundae off the fingers of his left hand.]

Sonic: Don't forget your breads and cereals! You need premium fuel to run your best!

[Tails groans in pain as he puts both his hands on his now-full stomach.]

Tails: Right!
Transcripts

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