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The Robotnik Express
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "The Robotnik Express".

[The episode begins in the desert as the Robotnik Express, a 4-4-0 engine or an American Type Steam Locomotive, with a tender resembling Robotnik's suit, is seen travelling across the tracks, pulling two box cars and a caboose. In the engine's cab, Scratch and Grounder are grumbling and fighting each other. Scratch picks up Grounder with both his hands and throws him down.]

Grounder: Hey! It's my turn to blow the whistle, you chicken-livered bucket of bolts!

[Scratch is now holding the handle to the whistle's cable in his left hand.]

Scratch: No way, tin brain! Dr. Robotnik loves me best, so it's alway my turn! Bwahaha!

[Grounder extends his left hand, and grabs the whistle's cable with it. His head also springs off his body.]

Grounder: Ha ha ha ha ha! Not this time!
Scratch: Kia!

[Scratch kicks Grounder with his right foot. Since they are both holding onto the cable, the force of Scratch's kick launches them both out of the cab, holding onto the cable for their lives.]

Scratch and Grounder: [both scream]

[The engine's whistle blows, and Scratch and Grounder fly back into the cab, landing with a crash.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

[On a hill, Big Griz and Big Mike, A.K.A. Da Bears are sitting in their cars, watching the Robotnik Express pass by in the distance. Big Griz points to the Robotnik Express with his right index finger.]

Big Griz: Duh, there it goes, Big Mike. The Robotnik Express!

[Big Mike points to Big Griz with his right index finger.]

Big Mike: Yeah, when you said that, Big Griz, you said a mouthful!
Big Griz: Then chew on this; since that train's the personal property of Dr. Robotnik, the rottenest creep on Mobius...
Big Mike: That makes it our patriotic duty to rob it?
Big Griz: Affirmative, Big Mike. Let's rob and roll!

[Big Griz and Big Mike drive their cars up to the Robotnik Express. After the train passes by them, Big Mike turns his attention to Sonic and Tails, who are following behind the train.]

Big Mike: Yo! Big Griz!

[Sonic runs past Big Griz and Big Mike, and Tails flies behind him.]

Big Griz: You think those two blurs could be Sonic and his little buddy, Tails?
Big Mike: Duh, I couldn't tell you, Big Mike, since I ain't ever seen either one! But if it is, the honor is entirely ours!

[Sonic and Tails continue chasing the Robotnik Express. Tails points to it with his right index finger.]

Tails: Look, Sonic! We're catching up!
Sonic: That's the secret of speed, keed! The Robotnik Express can run, but when it's carrying a load of Robotnik's super bombs, it can't hide!

[Inside the engine's cab, Scratch and Grounder are fighting over a shovel. They grunt as they pull the shovel towards each other. Scratch pushes Grounder away with his right foot.]

Grounder: [screams]

[Grounder is now holding the shovel in his right hand.]

Grounder: I got to blow the whistle, so it's only fair that you shovel coal!

[Grounder tosses the shovel at Scratch, who catches it in his right hand after it hits the wall.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho no! You do it! You're younger, you're stronger!

[An alarm sounds, and Grounder flinches.]

Grounder: Huh?
Scratch: Aaaah-ho!

[The Sonic Alarm flashes. Scratch and Grounder stare at it]

Scratch and Grounder: Sonic alarm!

[Scratch runs up to the fire and closes the door with his left hand.]

Scratch: Batten the hatches!

[Grounder rolls up to a lever and pulls it with his left hand.]

Grounder: Secure the couplings!

[Locks lower over the couplings. Grounder then rolls up to the Throttle, pulls it up, and locks a chain over it with both his hands.]

Grounder: Lock up the throttle!

[Grounder rolls up to the tender. Scratch follows him, then hears a railroad crossing bell, and turns his attention to the sign, which is switched to an old track with a crossing gate on it.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho! Hey, you dumb-bot, we were supposed to switch the train to the new track before we did that!

[Scratch points to the switch with his right index finger.]

Scratch: Now we're gonna go down the old track!
Grounder: So? What are you, a chicken? We'll get there!

[The engine's whistle blows, and the train crashes through the gate.]

Grounder: Besides, we've got a hedgehog to catch!

[Grounder grabs Scratch by his neck with his right hand, and pulls him back. Grounder then hops across the train, with Scratch running behind him, but when Grounder reaches the second box car, he creates a hole and falls through it.]

Grounder: Whoa-oa!

[Below Grounder is a pile of bombs. Grounder is about to hit one with a logo of a skull and crossbones, when Scratch pulls him back up.]

Grounder: Ugh!

[The logo looks up in question. Scratch and Grounder are now standing near the hole, and Grounder's nose is bent.]

Grounder: Thanks, Scratch! You saved my life!

[Scratch points at Grounder with his right index finger.]

Scratch: Don't flatter yourself, you clunky klutz!

[Scratch runs toward the caboose, which now has an open roof. He and Grounder jump into the caboose through the roof.]

Scratch: I was saving Dr. Robotnik's bomb! You were just an igorant bystander!

[Scratch and Grounder are now standing near the control panel, and Scratch pulls on the levers with both his hands. Sonic and Tails, who are still following behind, appear on the screen.]

Grounder: It's the hedge...

[Grounder straightens his nose with his right hand.]

Grounder: It's the hedgehog, all right!

[The screen turns off, and Scratch presses a button with his right index finger.]

Scratch: Then let's turn this caboose loose, and cook its goose!

[The caboose uncouples from the train, and legs extend from the wheels. A jet engine appears from the front end and sets off after Sonic.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[Sonic screeches to a halt. Tails flies into him, and they both fall over.]

Sonic and Tails: Ugh!
Sonic: Oh, no! We've been suckered...

[The caboose, which now has a vacuum tube below the exit door, stops near Sonic and Tails and raises its vacuum tube over Sonic and Tails, who now stand up.]

Sonic: ...by a super-sucking vacuum trap!

[The vacuum tube sucks up Sonic and Tails. They land in the caboose.]

Sonic and Tails: Ugh!

[A pair of arms grab Sonic and Tails and spin them around.

Sonic and Tails: [both scream]

[Sonic and Tails are now wrapped in bandages, looking like mummies. Scratch and Grounder jump into the air repeatedly, with Scratch repeatedly clicking his heels.]

Scratch and Grounder [singing]: We've got Sonic! We've got Sonic!

[A megaphone and fireworks appear from the caboose's roof.

Scratch and Grounder [singing]: We've got Sonic! We've got Sonic! We've got Sonic!

[In the distance, Big Griz and Big Mike stop their cars. They then drive them towards the caboose.]

Big Griz: Duh, do you suppose that means the bad guys got Sonic?
Big Mike: What makes you think that?
Big Griz: Uh, just a crazy hunch.
Big Mike: Well, no harm in checking it out!

[Big Griz and Big Mike continue driving their cars toward the caboose. Inisde the caboose, Grounder rolls up to the wrapped-up Sonic and pokes him with his right index finger twice.]

Sonic: Ugh! Ugh! Back off, dim-bot! You really don't think this is enough to slow me down, do you?
Grounder: Yeah, I do!
Sonic: Ehh! Wrong answer!

[Sonic winks at Tails with his left eye. Sonic then spins and breaks free of the bandages. Scratch and Grounder back up and stare at Sonic in fear, sighing worriedly. Sonic then spins around Scratch and Grounder, wrapping them in bandages.]

Scratch: Whoo-hoo!
Grounder: Help!

[Sonic is now holding Grounder in his right hand and Scratch in his left. He tosses them at the wall, then runs towards the window.]

Sonic: Later, geeks! Gotta streak!

[Sonic jumps out of the window, with Tails, who is now free of the bandages, following behind him. Just as Sonic and Tails leave, Big Griz and Big Mike smash a hole in the caboose's wall.]

Big Griz: Don't you worry, Sonic! Don't sweat it, Tails!

[Big Griz and Big Mike walk up to Scratch and Grounder, thinking they're Sonic and Tails. Big Griz grabs Scratch's bandages with his right hand, and Big Mike grabs Grounder's bandages with his right hand. They pull on them, unwrapping Scratch and Grounder.]

Big Mike: Yeah, we're here to rescue youse!

[Stars spin around Scratch and Grounder's head, then they clear up. Scratch and Grounder shake their heads.]

Scratch: What did you call us?
Big Griz: Duh, Sonic and Tails. You guys are our heroes!
Grounder: Hey, wait a minute, I'm not Sonic!

[Scratch, wanting to take advantage of Da Bears' gullibility, hits Grounder in the back of his head with his left hand.]

Scratch: I am! Uh, he's Tails!
Big Griz Uh, pleased to meet you, Sonic, Tails. Uh, I'm Big Griz.

[Big Griz grabs Grounder by his head with his right hand and Big Mike grabs Scratch's left hand with his right hand. They pick Scratch and Grounder up and put them down violently repeatedly.]

Big Mike: And I'm Big Mike, and together, we're otherwise known as...
Big Griz and Big Mike: Da Bears!

[Scratch and Grounder now have stars spinning around their heads.]

Grounder [wearily]: I told you, we're not...

[Scratch picks Grounder up with both his hands.]

Scratch [whispering]: Listen, you under-lubricated nincompoop! If these guys think we're Sonic and Tails...

[Scratch puts Grounder down and pats him on the back of his head with his right hand.]

Scratch: They might be brave enough to help us capture Grounder and Scratch!
Big Griz: No problem, Sonic! Any enemy of Sonic's...
Big Mike: ...is an enemy of...
Big Griz and Big Mike: Da Bears!
Big Griz: Duh, especially that Scratch! I never met him, but everyone says he's one dumb cluck!
Scratch [irritated]: D'oh! If you really want to help, just remember that Scratch is spiny and blue!
Grounder: Huh? [gasps] Oh! And Grounder has two tails!
Scratch: And the two of them went that-a-way!

[Scratch points at the window with his right index finger.]

Big Griz: Then we're going that-a-way, too!

[Big Griz, Big Mike, Scratch and Grounder jump into Big Griz and Big Mike's cars. Big Griz and Big Mike then drive off after the Robotnik Express.]

Big Griz: Cause ain't no villain gonna get away from...
Big Griz and Big Mike: Da Bears!

[Sonic runs up to the second box car and jumps onto it. He then taps his left foot.]

Sonic: I'm waiting, Tails!

[Tails flies up to Sonic. Sonic and Tails both look down the hole Grounder created earlier and see a huge pile of bombs.]

Tails: Wow! What's Robotnik gonna do with so many bombs?
Sonic: Nothing, cause' we're gonna bring this train to a screechin' halt, and make sure he doesn't get them!

[Sonic and Tails run into the cab, where they find the throttle locked up. Sonic jumps onto the throttle, and tries to pull it with both his hands, but it won't budge.]

Sonic: Ugh! Ugh! It's locked! We can't budge it!

[Sonic continues pulling on the throttle, and Tails pushes it with his feet.]

Sonic: Ugh! Ugh!
Tails: Ugh!

[The throttle breaks, and Sonic and Tails land near it.]

Tails: Uh-oh! What are we gonna do now, Sonic?
Sonic Live fast, think fast, act fast!
Tails: So what are we gonna do?
Sonic: Improvise!

[Sonic runs out of the engine, and Tails flies behind him. Sonic runs past some trees, a rock tunnel, a stop light, another rock tunnel, a patch of cacti, and a switch with one end pointing to a dead end. He screeches when he gets to an unfinished bridge. Below him, a pair of Buffalo Workers are sitting on the bridge, laughing.]

Sonic: Guys! There's gonna be a runaway train, coming this way!
Grey Buffalo Worker: Uh-huh, that's not good! Uh, but we'll be done fixing this bridge in a year or so.
Sonic: You got five minutes!

[The Buffalo Workers jump off the bridge and run in place in fear.]

Buffalo Workers: Run for your lives, everyone! We're doomed! Run for your lives, everyone! We're doomed!

[The Buffalo Workers run through the village frantically.]

Buffalo Workers: We're doomed! Oh, help!

[Tails flies up to Sonic, who points to the village below with his left index finger.]

Sonic: This is getting exciting!

[Sonic runs away, with Tails flying behind him. Meanwhile, the Robotnik Express is still travelling down the tracks. Sonic and Tails are back at the switch.]

Sonic: Come on, Tails! If we can change this switch, we can re-route the train onto this dead end!

[Sonic pulls on the switch with both his hands, and Tails pushes on the switch with both his hands. The switch doesn't budge.]

Tails: Ugh!
Sonic: Ugh! Ugh! Mmm. Not our day for switches!

[Sonic lets go of the switch, then runs away.]

Tails: What's the dead tree for, Sonic?

[Sonic comes back, carrying a fallen tree above his head with both his hands.]

Sonic: Lend me a tail, and I'll fill you in!

[Tails flies into the air, and he and Sonic place the fallen tree near the switch. Sonic then moves out of the way.]

Sonic: The train will hit the tree, and the train will change the switch.

[Tails flies above the dead end, and looks down at the water below.]

Sonic [heard offscreen]: And then, when the train goes down that side track and hits the cliff...
Tails: Robotnik's bombs are gonna go "Boom!", and he'll never get the chance to use them!

[Sonic runs back towards the Robotnik Express.]

Sonic: Come on! We gotta make sure those chips-for-brains robots don't mess up our plan!

[Sonic and Tails get in the cab of the engine. Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike have already caught up to the Robotnik Express. Big Grizz pulls his car up to the engine, and Scratch points at Sonic and Tails with his left index finger.]

Scratch: There! It's them! Sonic and... I mean, I mean, Grounder and Scratch!
Big Griz and Big Mike: After em'!

[Big Griz grabs the side of the cab with his right hand and jumps into the cab. Big Mike gets up and jumps off Grounder's head with his right foot.]

Grounder: Ugh!

[Grounder stares unconciously. Big Mike jumps off Scratch's head with his right foot.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho-ho!

[Scratch stares unconciously, with his eyes spinning around. He then spins his head and stares in shock at the boulder ahead of him.]

Scratch: [screams]
Big Griz [heard offscreen]: Come on, guys! We heard you were fast!

[Big Griz reaches from offscreen with his right arm, grabs Scratch by his neck, and pulls him away.]

Big Griz [heard offscreen]: Shake a tread!

[Big Griz reaches from offscreen with his right arm, grabs Grounder by his nose, and pulls him away. Big Griz and Big Mike's cars crash into the boulder. Grounder jumps from the cab onto the tender, and looks back at Big Griz and Big Mike.]

Grounder: Fast? Ha! I'll show you fast!

[Grounder climbs up the box car, and Sonic and Tails stick their tongues out at him, Scratch, Big Griz, and Big Mike.]

Scratch: Don't let em' get away!

[Sonic runs offscreen as Big Griz climbs up the box car. Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike walk angrily towards Sonic and Tails.]

Grounder: Arrr!
Scratch: Bwahaha!

[Tails is now holding an apple with a bite in it in his right hand.]

Tails: Now, Sonic?

[The train approaches the first tunnel as Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike continue walking angrily towards Sonic.]

Grounder: Arrr!
Scratch: Ha!

[Sonic now has his left hand in the side of his body, which resembles a pocket.]

Sonic: Now!

[Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, annd Big Mike stare in shock as they see the tunnel.]

Big Griz: [screams]
Scratch: Oooh-oooh-oooh-oooh!
Grounder: Oooh!

[Sonic and Tails duck in between the box cars as Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike crash through the tunnel, leaving a Big Griz and Big Mike-shaped hole in it. Sonic and Tails laugh at the hole. Big Griz and Big Mike now have stars spinning around their heads. After the stars clear, Big Griz spits out some of the rubble.]

Big Griz: Very...
Big Mike: ...funny.
Big Griz: All right, Grounder, the jig is up!

[Tails gasps as Big Griz reaches at him with his right hand and grabs him. Big Griz then lifts Tails up to Big Mike.]

Big Mike: Your evil-doing days is done!
Scratch [whispering to Grounder]: This is working better than I thought!

[Sonic, who is disguised as a train conductor, walks up to Scratch and Grounder, and pushes them aside with both his hands.]

Sonic: Tickets! Tickets, please!
Big Griz: I... uh...

[Big Griz drops Tails and looks through his overalls. Big Mike looks through his vest.]

Big Mike: I seem to have misplaced my...
Scratch: I'm sure I had it when I got on!

[Sonic crosses his arms and taps his left foot.]

Sonic: Sorry, gentlemen! No tickets, no ride!

[Big Griz and Big Mike stare in disappointment.]

Sonic [heard offscreen]: Wait a mo! What have we here?

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his right hand and pulls out four train tickets. Scratch leans up to Sonic.]

Scratch: Our tickets!

[Sonic knocks Scratch away with his left hand.]

Sonic: Way to go!

[Sonic looks over the tickets.]

Sonic: Uh-oh! Major problemo! We're on the Westbound Express, but your tickets are for the Eastbound!
Grounder: They are?

[Sonic walks up to a lever and pulls it with his left hand. The right side of the box car lifts up, with a pair of benches at each end.]

Sonic: All aboard!

[Big Griz and Big Mike sit on the bench on the back, and Scratch and Grounder try to get on the bench on the front, but push each other.]

Grounder: Ooh!
Scratch: Agh!

[Sonic looks at the watch in his left wrist.]

Sonic: Not to worry, your train's coming along just about...

[Scratch and Grounder look behind themselves and stare in shock.]

Scratch: Oh-ho!
Grounder: Huh?

[A diesel engine approaches the Robotnik Express from the track next to it in the opposite direction.]

Sonic: Now!

[The Diesel Engine takes the side of the box car that Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike away on top of its coach.]

Big Griz: Uh, any of youse feel, uh, like maybe we was tricked?

[Sonic, still in his conductor disguise, runs up to the coach. He is now holding the tickets in his left hand.]

Sonic: Hey, I'm sorry, gents, but I just goofed up big time!
Big Griz: See, I knew it!

[Big Griz punches Big Mike's head with his right hand.]

Big Griz: We had tickets for the Westbound Express after all!
Sonic: You've got it, bro! But what that means is, you'll have to get off this train, pronto!

[Sonic runs away. The diesel engine approaches a water tower, and when it passes it, Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike hit its spout.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho-ho-ho!
Big Griz: Whoa!

[Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike land on the tracks below.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

[The water tower pours water all over Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike.]

Grounder: Oh, no! I took a bath last month!

[Sonic runs up to Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike, and blows a kiss at them with his left hand.]

Sonic: Mwah! See you! Don't forget to write!

[Sonic runs back towards the Robotnik Express. Big Griz wipes the water off his head with his right hand.]

Big Griz: He's making me mad!

[Grounder shakes the water off his head.]

Big Mike [heard offscreen]: Come on! Let's go get our cars and get him!

[Big Griz and Big Mike reach offscreen with their right arms. Big Mike grabs Scratch by his neck and Big Griz grabs Grounder by his neck. They then pull them away. The next shot is of one outside Robotnik's Emporium of Devastation, Destruction, and Demolition.]

Dr. Robotnik [heard offscreen]: How despicably wonderful!

[Inside Robotnik's Emporium of Devastation, Destruction and Demolition, bombs are being assembled on a conveyor belt.]

Robotnik [heard offscreen]: And destructively marvelous, it is that my plans are proceeding with such predictable perfection!

[Robotnik is seen sitting at a desk.]

Robotnik: And once my final shipment of bombs arrives, It will be time to launch my... Anti-rebel ballistic missiles!

[The bombs are being loaded into a giant missile. Robotnik slams his right fist on the desk.]

Robotnik: And blast every single rebel on Mobius out of existence!

[Robotnik looks out the window and holds a pocket watch in his left hand, which he looks at. The short hand is at the top, and the long hand is at the bottom.]

Robotnik: Hmmm. The train is late! I better give those transistor-brained morons a call!

[Robotnik picks up the phone with his right hand. Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike are back in Big Griz and Big Mike's cars (which are now inexplicably repaired), when Grounder's robocom phone rings inside him.]

Grounder [whispering to Scratch: Psst! Scratch! It's the Robotnik hotline!
Big Griz: What'd you say?!

[Big Griz shakes his head when he hears Grounder's robocom phone ring.]

Big Griz: Duh, what was that?
Grounder: My tummy rumbling?

[Big Griz leans his head against Grounder.]

Big Griz: That's the strangest tummy rumbling I ever heard.
Scratch: Not really. I-It always sounds like that when Tails eats onion rings!

[Grounder is now holding his robocom phone in his left hand, and holds his right index finger up to his mouth to shush himself.]

Big Griz: Uh, onion rings? Uh, of course! Uh, how could I be so stupid?
Grounder: Oh, uh, beats me!

[Grounder belches, and the belch echoes into Robotnik's phone, which he is still holding in his right hand.]

Robotnik: For Grounder's sake, that better had been a wrong number!

[Big Griz and Big Mike have now caught up to the Robotnik Express again. Tails is flying in front of the engine, when he sees the second tunnel up ahead.]

Tails: Hey, Sonic! Only one more tunnel, and then the train hits the switch!

[Big Griz and Big Mike pass by the Robotnik Express. Big Griz then waves at Sonic and Tails with his left hand.]

Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike: So long, suckers!

[Big Griz and Big Mike drive their cars away. Tails then flies back to Sonic, who is looking out the cab.]

Tails: Where are they going?
Sonic: I'll find out! back in a flash! Make that, half a flash!

[Sonic runs out the cab. Big Griz and Big Mike drive their cars into the tunnel, then come out the other end. They stop their cars, then they, along with Scratch and Grounder, get out of them.]

Scratch: Okay, bears! It's time to take out those bad guys once and for all!

[Sonic runs into the tunnel.]

Sonic: What are those slime-bots up to this time?

[Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike are now on top of the tunnel, and Big Griz has his right hand on a boulder.]

Big Griz: Duh, one robot-smashing landslide is on the way!

[Big Griz kicks the boulder with his left foot, causing it to break into pieces and roll down the tunnel. When the rocks land on the tracks, Sonic sees them from inside the tunnel.]

Sonic: Oh, no! If that avalance blocks the tunnel...

[The Robotnik Express whistles from behind Sonic.]

Sonic: The Robotnik Express is most definitely gonna blow!

[The rocks continue to fall in front of the tunnel.]

Sonic: And my little buddy, Tails, with it!

[The screen fades to black.The next scene continues where the last one left off. The rocks continue falling on the tracks in front of the tunnel, as the Robotnik Express gets closer to it. Sonic jumps into the air in shock.]

Sonic: I gotta save Tails!

[Sonic runs out of the tunnel just in time to avoid being sealed in, as the rest of the rocks fall, and now block the tunnel. Sonic screeches to a halt outside of the tunnel, as Big Griz and Big Mike run down it.]

Big Griz and Big Mike: All right!
Big Griz: We did it!

[Big Griz and Big Mike land on top of the rocks. Sonic, disuised as a gym coach, runs up to them, holding a clipboard in his right hand.]

Sonic: Youse guys did bogus! And to think you call yourselves "Da Bears"!
Big Griz: We are...
Big Griz and Big Mike: Da Bears!
Sonic: Then why don't you act like bears? This little pile of pebbles ain't gonna stop that train!
Big Griz: It's not? Duh, what should we do?
Sonic: You need to make a barricade. So get this stack of kitty litter out of here, and do it now!

[Sonic tosses the clipboard onto the rocks. Back inside the tunnel, Tails stares out the engine's cab window in shock.]

Tails: Oh, no! I'm gonna crash!

[Back outside the tunnel, Big Griz and Big Mike are now in their cars, which they use to push the rocks aside. Scratch and Grounder stare angrily at them, and Scratch taps his right foot.

Scratch: What are you idiots doing?
Big Mike: Don't worry, Sonic, we got everything under control.

[Big Mike gives a thumbs-up with his left hand. He and Big Griz push the last two rocks out of the way just in time as the Robotnik Express exits the tunnel. Sonic watches from behind the rocks, and wipes his face with his left hand.]

Sonic: Phew!

[Big Griz and Big Mike drive their cars up to Scratch and Grounder. Grounder stares in shock.]

Grounder: [screams]
Big Mike [heard offscreen]: Shake your treads, Tails!

[Big Mike picks up Grounder with his right hand, and Big Griz drives by, holding Scratch in his left hand.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho!

[Big Griz sits Scratch down in his car.]

Big Griz: We're gonna set up a genuine barricade, and bring this train to a crashing halt!

[Big Griz and Big Mike drive past the Robotnik Express and stop them in front of it. Big Mike picks up Grounder with his left hand, and Big Griz picks up Scratch with his left hand. They then set the robots down on the tracks.]

Big Mike: Come on, Sonic! Let's go, Tails!
Big Griz: No pain, no gain!
Grounder: You heard him, Sonic! No pain...

[Scratch trembles. The Robotnik Express runs right into Scratch, Grounder, Big Griz, and Big Mike.]

Grounder: Oh!
Scratch: [yells]

[Grounder's head and Scratch land on the ground.]

Grounder: Oof!
Scratch: Ugh!

[Grounder's head rolls up to Scratch.]

Grounder [wearily]: No gain.

[Sonic, who is still in his gym coach disguise runs up to Big Griz and Big Mike, who are struggling to stop the Robotnik Express. He is holding the clipboard in his right hand.]

Sonic: That's it, guys! Second effort! Second effort!
Big Griz: Ugh! Oh, we're trying, coach! We're trying!

[Tails, who is now standing atop the engine's cab, stares in shock at what's up ahead.]

Tails: Oh, no! If the bears go through the cactuses, they'll be pincushioned to death!

[Big Griz and Big Mike look behind them and stare in shock.]

Sonic: Oooh! That hurts just thinking about it.

[Sonic runs away, losing his disguise in the progress, as Big Griz and Big Mike climb up the engine. He then picks the fallen tree up from the switch and sets it down near the cacti.]

Sonic: One thrilling rescue, coming right up!

[Big Griz and Big Mike continue climbing up the engine.]

Big Mike: Ugh!

[The fallen tree pushes Big Griz and Big Mike onto the top of the engine as the Engine pushes through the cacti, tearing them to pieces and causing the pieces to fly into the air.. Big Griz and Big Mike duck to avoid the pieces hitting them. The Robotnik Express runs right past the switch as Sonic and Tails climb up onto the cab.]

Sonic: So much for stopping the train before it hits the bridge.
Big Griz: Bridge, smidge! We just wanna thank youse for saving our hides!
Big Mike: Yeah, thanks!

[As Sonic talks, Big Griz shakes his right hand with his right hand, and Big Mike shakes Tails' right hand with his right hand.]

Sonic: You know, these guys aren't so bad, they're just a little slow!

[Sonic chuckles, and Big Griz and Big Mike stop shaking their hands.]

Big Mike: But that don't mean we're not still turning you over to Sonic and Tails!

[Big Griz shakes his head, "No". Sonic stares angrily at him and Big Mike.]

Tails: What are you talking about? We're Sonic and Tails!
Big Mike: Oh, sure! You think we was born yesterday?

[Big Griz shakes his head, "Yes".]

Sonic: Either that or the day before.
Tails: Wait a minute! How many tails does the real Tails have?
Big Griz: Duh, two?

[Big Griz holds up three fingers in his right hand. Tails points at him, unamused, with his left thumb.]

Big Mike: So, you got a good disguise!
Sonic: What about Sonic?
Big Mike: No offense, buddy, but no disguise is going to make me think youse is the fastest guy on Mobius!

[Big Griz shakes his head, "No".]

Sonic: Not even if I...

[Sonic runs towards Big Griz and Big Mike's cave, which has a mailbox that says, DA BEARS on it outside. Inside the cave, he jumps onto a table and opens a cupboard, which has a pot that says, HONEY on it, and even has some honey inside it. He picks up the honey pot with both his hands, and carries it back to the Robotnik Express.]

Sonic: ...brought you something like this?

[Big Griz picks up the honey pot with both his hands and puts it up to his head. He eats some of the honey from inside it.]

Big Griz: Duh, my own personal pot of honey? But only the real Sonic could have gotten this in no time flat! Duh, hey, I get it, you really are Sonic!

[Big Griz picks up Sonic with both his arms and gives him an intense hug.]

Sonic: Ugh!
Big Griz: My hero! Duh, and who were those other guys?
Sonic: Ugh, Grounder and Scratch!

[Big Griz opens his arms, causing Sonic to fall down.]

Big Griz: Big Mike, I think we was tricked!
Sonic: Ugh!

[Sonic's eyes spin. Big Mike picks Sonic up by his arms with both his hands and sets him down on his feet.]

Big Mike: Yeah, what can we do to, uh, redeem ourselves?

[Sonic's eyes sop spinning.]

Sonic: Help us save the Buffalo Village!
Big Mike: We'll do anything to help!
Sonic: Well, for my new plan to work, I'll need one of your cars, so give me your keys.

[Big Mike gives Sonic his keys, which he is holding in his right hand. Sonic is now holding them in his right hand. Sonic then jumps into the air.]

Sonic: And get out of my way!

[Sonic runs away. Meanwhile, Scratch is now holding Grounder's head in both his hands, and puts it back on his body, when Sonic runs past them, spinning them, and causing Grounder's head to fall off his body.]

Grounder: Huh?
Scratch: Whoa-ho!

[Scratch and Grounder fall over.]

Scratch: Oh!

[Scratch gets up, and shakes his right fist at Sonic.]

Scratch: D'oh, Sonic! You're vulture meat!

[Grounder's head rolls up to Scratch. Sonic gets in Big Mike's car, and drives it. Scratch is now holding Grounder's head in both his hands. He puts it back on Grounder's body again, only for Sonic to drive past them, causing them to spin again. Grounder's head flies off his body.]

Scratch: Whaa!
Grounder: Yeow! Whoa!

[Grounder's head bounces off the ground in front of Big Griz's car, and lands in Big Griz's car.]

Grounder: Oh! Ugh! Scratch! Get over here! We've got a hedgehog to catch!

[Sonic drives Big Mike's car up to the Robotnik Express, which blows its whistle. He then stands up.]

Sonic: Big Griz! Big Mike! Jump!
Big Griz: [screams]
Big Mike: Ooh!

[Big Griz and Big Mike jump into Big Mike's car, launching Sonic into the air. Sonic lands near Tails.]

Sonic: I'll get em' over the bridge. You just get those goof-bots on the train!

[Sonic jumps into Big Mike's car.]

Sonic: Ugh! To the bridge!

[Big Mike drives his car up to the bridge and screeches it to a halt.]

Sonic: Okay, everybody out on the double! We've gotta work fast!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where a rope is tied to the back of Big Mike's car. Big Griz is holding it back, making the wheels and rope work like a winch. Big Mike is at the other end of the rope, standing a piece of the bridge it is holding. He climbs up to the end of the bridge, and pulls the piece up.]

Big Griz: Now, this is a plan worthy of...
Big Griz and Big Mike: Da Bears!

[As Sonic is talking, Big Mike runs up to the bridge piece and puts it in place.]

Sonic [heard offscreen]: Hustle it, guys! If we can't get this bridge repaired in time, the train's gonna crash!

[Sonic is now seen driving Big Mike's car.]

Sonic: And if it does, the whole buffalo village is gonna go out with a bang!

[Meanwhile, Scratch and Grounder drive Big Griz's car up to the Robotnik Express. Tails is looking at them from inside the cab.]

Tails: Nah nah! You can't catch me!
Grounder: Why not?
Tails: You're slow, you're clumsy, you're stupid!
Scratch: You're right. Let's get him anyway!

[Scratch and Grounder jump out of Big Griz's car and into the cab. They pounce at Tails, but miss, as Tails flies into the air.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho! Awk!
Grounder: Ugh!
Tails: But you run into walls real good!

[The Robotnik Express whistles. It gets closer to the bridge as Sonic nails the bridge piece into place.]

Sonic: Faster, guys! We don't have much time!

[Big Mike is now standing on the next bridge piece as he ties the rope onto it. Inside the cab, Scratch squawks as he and Grounder get up.]

Grounder: Just hold still, you two-tailed pest!
Tails: Here's my stop! Gotta fly!

[Tails waves at Scratch and Grounder with his right hand and flies away. The Robotnik Express now gets closer to the bridge.]

Sonic: Uh-oh! No time to finish! We've gotta improvise again!

[The Robotnik Express whistles again, getting even closer to the bridge. Sonic runs up to Big Mike's car, which Big Mike is now driving as Big Griz continues holding it back.]

Big Griz: Ugh!
Sonic: Floor it, Big Mike! And keep your claws crossed!

[Big Mike puts his right foot on the gas pedal, as Big Griz continues holding Big Mike's car back.]

Big Griz: Ugh!
Sonic [heard offscreen]: More gas, mike, more gas! It's the only way to save the village!

[As Sonic talks, the next Bridge Piece gets lifted up.]

Scratch: What was all that about with Tails?
Grounder: A trap?
Scratch and Grounder: Nah!

[Scratch and Grounder shake their heads, "No". They then stare out the window and see that they are heading towards an unfinished bridge.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Grounder: Uh-oh!

[Scratch and Grounder now hold each other in fear.]

Grounder: It was a trap!
Scratch: We're gonna crash!

[The Robotnik Express gets even closer to the unfinished bridge.] [Sonic jumps back onto Big Mike's car.]

Sonic: Give the gas! Give the gas! Faster! Faster!

[The Bridge Piece lifts up, forming a ramp for the Robotnik Express to jump off of. Sonic is now standing near Big Griz, who is still holding back Big Mike's car.]

Sonic: Hold that car! Hold that car!
Big Griz: Ugh!

[The Robotnik Express flies off the bridge and into the air. Scratch and Grounder continue holding themselves and scream in fear.]

Sonic: And the train is up...

[The Robotnik Express lands on the other side of the bridge. Sonic is now dressed as a referee.]

Sonic: And it's good!

[Tails, Big Griz, and Big Mike cheer as Sonic runs up to them.]

Tails: Yeah!

[In the Buffalo Village below, the Buffalo Villagers peer out of their houses.]

Grey Buffalo Worker: The village is safe! Sonic saved our village!
Buffalo Villagers: Yay!

[Big Griz hugs Tails intensely, and Big Mike hugs Sonic intensely.]

Big Griz and Big Mike: We did it!

[Scratch and Grounder open their eyes and let go of themselves.]

Grounder: Hey! We're still alive!

[Scratch walks up to the hole in the box car, and looks down. He sees that all the bombs are still on board.]

Scratch: Whoo-hoo-hoo! And we've still got all our bombs!

[Scratch walks back to Grounder.]

Scratch: And we can still deliver them to Dr. Robotnik, just like we're supposed to!

[As Grounder talks, he opens his chest compartment with his left hand and pulls out his robocom phone with the same hand.]

Grounder: Heh heh! Just wait till I tell Dr. Robotnik what a good job I did!

[Grounder shakes the phone with his left hand, then dials the numbers with his right drill. Scratch takes the phone from Grounder with his right hand.]

Scratch: Give me that phone!

[Back at Robotnik's Emporium of Devastation, Destruction, and Demolition, more bombs are being assembled as the phone on Robotnik's desk rings. Robotnik picks up the phone with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Robotnik's Emporium of Devastation, Destruction, and Demolition.

[Scratch squawks unintelligibly over the phone. Robotnik then slams his left fist on the desk.]

Robotnik: Well, it's about time, you bumbling barrel of bolts! The Anti-Rebel explosive devices are ready to launch! All they need is your final shipment of bombs!

[Robotnik looks out the window, and sees the Robotnik Express approaching the building.]

Robotnik: Ah, there you are now. Pull into the loading dock, and everything will be just fine.
Scratch: There's just one thing, Dr. Robotnik.
Robotnik: Yes?
Scratch [to Grounder]: Maybe you'd better tell him.

[Scratch hands Grounder back the phone, which he is now holding in his left hand.]

Grounder: Me? Uh, hi, Dr. Robotnik! Yeah, it was all Sonic's fault, your sir wonderful badness, because, uh..
Robotnik [heard over the phone]: Just get to the point!
Grounder [heard offscreen]: We can't stop the train!

[The Robotnik Express drives straight into the building. Scratch and Grounder scream as the train crashes, causing bombs to fly into the air, and the bombs onboard the box cars to explode. The explosion causes the Engine to land on the missile, launching it into the air. Robotnik stares in shock as the missile heads straight towards him.]

Robotnik: [screams]

[Outside the building, the bombs continue destroying the building as the Missile, now with Robotnik onboard, flies into the air.]

Robotnik: [screams again]

[Scratch is now holding onto the cab with both his hands for his life, and Grounder is holding onto Scratch's legs with both his arms for his life. They scream as the missile flies into the air. Sonic, Tails, Big Griz, and Big Mike watch from a distance.]

Big Griz: Gosh, I can't imagine a more beautiful sight!

[Sonic snaps his left thumb and index finger, and points at the missile with his right index finger.]

Sonic: I can!
Robotnik [heard in the distance]: I hate that hedgehog!

[The missile explodes. Sonic jumps into the air as Tails shakes both of Big Griz's hands with both his hands.]

Sonic: All right! Way to go! Yeah, way to go! Yippie!
Tails: Way to go!
Big Griz: Yeah, way to go! All right!
Sonic: This is so much fun, I can hardly "bear" to say good-bye!
Tails: But we gotta, cause a hero's work is never done, right, Sonic?
Sonic: Right! And so in the words of a famous, high-speed, freedom-fighting, supersonic poet; "We're up, over, and gone!"

[Sonic runs in place, then grabs Tails' left arm with his right hand, then runs away, dragging him along. Big Griz and Big Mike wave goodbye to them with their left hands.]

Big Griz: Hey, what a couple of regular guys!

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says

[Tails is in the park, sitting on a bench, when Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are wearing Groucho Marx glasses as a disguise, drive their car up to Tails.]

Grounder: Hiya, kid. We're friends of Sonic. He's been hurt and needs your help!

[Tails jumps off the park bench.]

Tails: Sonic's been hurt?!

[Grounder opens the car door with his right drill. Tails is about to get into the car, when Sonic runs up to him, holding his arms out like stop signs.]

Sonic: Hold it! You don't even know these guys! It's not safe to get into a car with strangers!

[Sonic runs past Scratch and Grounder, removing their Groucho Marx glasses.]

Grounder: Uh-oh!

[As Tails talks, Scratch and Grounder drive away.]

Tails [heard offscreen]: Scratch and Grounder?

[Sonic and Tails are now sitting on the park bench. Sonic is holding one of the Groucho Marx glasses in his left hand.]

Tails: I'm never going anywhere with strangers!

[As Sonic talks, he puts the Groucho Marx glasses on his face.]

Sonic: You bet your life, little buddy!
Transcripts

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