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The Odd Couple/Ro-Becca (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "The Odd Couple/Ro-Becca".

The Odd Couple

[Scene: Knothole Village, day.]

[The snow is blowing everywhere, as Dulcy comes through the fog, sporting snow gear to fight the weather while losing her breath.]
Dulcy: Where is that stupid meadow?
[Sonic and Antoine have made a landing ground for Dulcy with lights.]
Sonic: See her yet, Ant?
[Antoine is looking into the sky with a pair of binoculars.]
Antoine: No... All I am seeing is too much snowing.
[Antoine has no idea the binoculars are covered in snow while Sonic notices.]
Sonic: Gee, I wonder why...
Antoine: Oh my my! The snow is getting so much worser. What is this? [Gasps]
[Sonic grabs the binoculars.]
Sonic: Check it out, Ant.
[Sonic brushes off the snow.]
Antoine: Ah! Oui oui! Heheheh! I am finding the fried egg up on my face! Hahaha!
Sonic: You mean egg on your face, Ant.
Antoine: [Gasps] I do? Where?
[Sonic uses the binoculars and sees Dulcy in the sky.]
Sonic: There she is! Hold these, Ant!
[Sonic speeds back to his spot and picks up the guide lights.]
Sonic: Talk to me, Ant!
Antoine: Eh-t-t-talking to you? Eh, what should I say?
Sonic: How about telling me where Dulcy is so I can guide her in?!
Antoine: Ok... Here she is coming. She is too crooked.
Sonic: Level off, Dulcy! Level off!
Antoine: Move-ed to the left... no no no! More to the right! Now ghost- I mean left! Left! Right- No, other left! Right!?
Sonic: [Loses it under his breath] Oh brother, can you believe this guy?
Dulcy: Make up your mind, Sonic! Coming in for a landing!
[Dulcy hits the ground, but the icy snow sends her flying at Sonic and Antoine. They scream as they leap out of the way.]
Sonic: Oh man! We got trouble! She's heading for the huts!
[Sonic speeds off and slides over to a nearby tree with a warning bell and starts it up. Tails, Sally and Bunnie look out their door and window to see what the fuss is about.]
Sally: Oh no!
Bunnie: Oh my stars, will you look at that!
Sally: Dulcy!
[Tails, Sally, and Bunnie run out just in time, as Dulcy slides into the huts, demolishing them.]
Dulcy: I’m home, ma... oh, boy...
[Sonic runs up to Dulcy.]
Sonic: You okay, Dulce?
Dulcy: Just a little headache, ma...
Tails: Now where are we gonna sleep?
Sally: Now that is a good question, Tails.
Sonic: Yeah, mondo problemo.

[Scene Change: Antoine’s Hut.]

[Antoine is heard singing from the outside.]
Antoine: [Singing] Alouette, cleana Alouette. Alouette, cleana boot today. Je te cleana-rai la boot. Je te cleana-rai la boot. Et la boot, not my stoot. But them too, sacrebleu! Alouette, cleana Alouette.
[Antoine kisses his boot.]
Antoine: Goodnight, my shiny clean little friends!
[Antoine shuts a closet full of the same uniforms.]
Antoine: Sleep to tight. Don’t let the bed bugs bite. Heheheh! Home clean home... [Gasps] Sacrebleu-cheese!
[Antoine picks up a torn cloth.]
Antoine: What is this filthy things right here? Argh! I’ll be taking care of you, Mr. Dirt-buzz! You can count on that, tomorrow!
[Antoine throws the cloth out in a trash bin.]
Antoine: “Hah” to you and au revoir! Hah!
[Antoine sits back in his comfy chair and props his feet up.]
Antoine: Nothing like pieces of quiet...
[Antoine pulls out a magazine, but before he can read it, Sonic knocks at his door.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Antoine!
[Antoine begins wigging out.]
Sonic: Antoine! Yo Ant! Open up, man!
[Antoine, regrettably, goes to the door, just as it flings up and smashes him in to the wall. Sonic comes in wearing his snow gear and a suitcase, missing Antoine completely.]
Sonic: It’s moi! You home or what? Ant...?
Antoine: [Fidgets his nose] What do you want...?
Sonic: Heheh-hey Ant, what’s with the ol’ nose?
Antoine: My nose is not old... [Gasps] Oh no! What have you did?
Sonic: What?
Antoine: What? What? You have brought filthiness into my house!
[Antoine runs to his closet and pulls out a cloth.]
Antoine: I am not having everything under control...
[Antoine gets on all fours while muttering something about staining his carpet as he scrubs his wooden floor.]
Sonic: [Cheerfully] Hope you don’t mind, Ant but, uh, I gotta chill here. Until my hut’s rebuilt.
Antoine: [Mutters] –the messiest home an- Chills... Here?
Sonic: Yeah! Nobody else has any room.
Antoine: Vous... Staying here... In my homes...?
Sonic: Yeah, that’s it Ant! I can’t start rebuilding until the mondo storm is over. So it looks like we’re gonna be roomies!
Antoine: [Gasps] Roomies?
Sonic: Yep! So, where do I put my socks, Ant?
Antoine: Socks?
Sonic: My socks!
[Antoine freaks out some more, as Sonic walks to the window.]
Sonic: Man, this is a serious storm! I could be here for weeks!
[Antoine faints.]
Sonic: Yo, Ant, was it something I said?
[Antoine is on the floor vacuuming, muttering about Sonic, while Sonic is on the couch, relaxing.]
Sonic: Know what your problem is, Ant? You ‘gotta learn how to kick back!
Antoine: What... What are your shoes doing?
[Sonic is seen wearing his shoes on the couch.]
Sonic: Say what?
[Antoine jumps on top of Sonic and begins yanking at his shoes.]
Antoine: Get them off! Get them off now!
[Antoine rips Sonic's shoes off and throws them out in the blizzard.]
Sonic: My sneaks, man!
[Sonic runs out in his socks and grabs them before they can hit the snow. Antoine’s back inside, trying to force the door to close from the powerful wind, when Sonic comes back in and helps him close it.]
Sonic: Understand one thing, Ant: Don’t ever mess with my sneaks again. Got it?
[Antoine gulps and nods. He then freaks out when he notices the huge pile of snow in his living room.]

[Scene Change: Antoine's hut.]

[Antoine’s sleeping on the couch, muttering about Sonic, with his sneakers and all the snow in his sleep. He is woken up by Sonic, who is busy in the kitchen. Then, he has accidentally pelted by a stray onion.]
Sonic: Whoops! Uh, sorry about that, Ant. Toss me the ‘ol onion, Ant. Can’t make chili dogs without onions.
Antoine: ...Chilis... Doggies... What are you doing!?
Sonic: Cooking us dinner! You ain’t lived till you’ve had one of my old dogs!
[Sonic tries squeezing a can of chili into a sauce pan, as the chili splatters all over the walls. However, Antoine saw it coming a mile way. Sonic chuckles, as Antoine begins to cry.]
Sonic: Chill Roomy! You can have another helping!
Antoine: Another helping?
[Antoine faints again.]

[Scene Change: Antoine's hut.] [Antoine is resting in his bed, only to wake up to a kitchen of dirty dishes and a floor littered with stray food, as he hears something in the kitchen.]

Antoine: What now?
[Sonic is munching away when he notices Antoine.]
Sonic: Yo, Ant! I saved you a dog-- [Belch] You gonna munch this or what? Going... Going...
[Sonic eats the Chili Dog in one bite.]
Sonic: Outa-here!
[Antoine freaks out with big surprise.]
Sonic: Chill roomy!
Antoine: Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
[Antoine runs in his closet, beginning to yell about hedgehogs and chili dogs.]
Sonic: Man, I had no clue ‘ol Ant wanted a chili dog that bad. [Belch]

[Scene Change: Antoine's hut, night.]

[Antoine is fast asleep, snoring and muttering about Sonic leaving and never coming back. Sonic begins to sleep run.]
Sonic: I’ll get you, Ro-butt-nik!
[Antoine wakes up to the house shaking.]
Antoine: What is he doing!?
[Antoine sees his place being trashed.]
Sonic: To, Ro-butt-nik! You’re going down, man, big time!
Antoine: [Laughs hysterically] Well, if you can’t beat on them, then you must join them! Wahahaahaha!
[Antoine starts trashing his place, freaking out. Then, Sonic snaps out of it.]
Sonic: Yo Ant! What’s up!
Antoine: What’s up? [Laughs]
[Antoine starts throwing all his belongings in the air.]
Antoine: This is up! And this, too! Oh, and don't forget this, Sonic! Whahahaha, everything is up! Whahahahaaha!

[Scene Change: Knothole, night.]

[The Freedom Fighters are heading to the house to find out what all the noise is about. Sonic, dressed up for the snow, heads out with his suitcase. Just then, Antoine, in his mental breakdown, throws a cushion, which heads for Sonic.]
Sonic: Duck!
[The cushion misses everyone and takes the head off from a snowman.]
Sally: Sonic, what is wrong with Antoine?
Sonic: No clue, Sal! But snow or not, I’m gonna rebuild my hut starting now! I’m not spending another night with Ant! Not only is he totally out of his tree, but he lives like a pig!
[Just then, a tree crashes on Antoine’s house.]

Ro-Becca

[Scene: Knothole, Rotor's workshop.]

[It is a stormy night in Knothole. Inside Rotor's workshop, Rotor is working on Ro-Becca]
Rotor: Now where’s that blasted screwdriver? Oh, I left it at Sonic’s!
[Rotor runs off to his front door, grabs an umbrella, and heads out leaving Ro-Becca unguarded. Antoine is in the lab, lugging a heavy box.]
Antoine: Oh! Oh, my poor miserable feets! Rooter, I cannot be helping you any some more time! I have great hurtings in my- Rooter? Rooter! Hmph! Now where did he goes too, huh? How can I tell him my feets are breaking he-Whoa!
[Antoine trips, as the box flies and hits Ro-Becca in the face, as nuts and bolts come out, flying into an open hatch on Ro-Becca's chest.]
Antoine: Sacre blue-cheese... oohhh, Rooter will not be a happy puppy.
[Antoine reaches into the chest plate and begins removing all the stray parts, putting them back in the box.]
Antoine: Come out of there you stupid nuts and dolts!
[Antoine then gets a look at Ro-Becca's face for the first time and freaks out.]
Antoine: Oooohhh... Poor Mademoiselle has been hit by the ugly wood, huh?
[The door flies open, and Rotor rushes in.]
Rotor: Man! What a rotten night!
[Rotor forces the door to close.]
Rotor: Whew! Antoine? Antoine? I need your help here.
[Rotor starts working on the robot with the screwdriver.]
Antoine: Oui! Oui! I am dragging over my pain racked, body- Oohh!
[Antoine shows up with his left leg bandaged up.]
Rotor: What happened?
Antoine: [Sighs] Oh, Rooter, is that you? Oh, yes it is. I am having some new war wounds. I must be going.
Rotor: Antoine.
Antoine: Huh?
Rotor: I need the chest plate. It was in the box I told you to get.
Antoine: In the box? There was no cheese plate.
Rotor: Well, if it’s not there- oh yeah, the closet! Uh, stay here. I may need more help.
[Rotor heads off, and Antoine stumbles over to Ro-Becca.]
Antoine: This is your stupids fault- Aaahhh!
[Lightning strikes, and Antoine backs up into a machine, activating it. A light show starts up, and Antoine climbs on to Ro-Becca in fear. Energy surges all over and into a beam directed at Ro-Becca. It shoots, as she wakes up.]
Antoine: It's alive! It's alive!
[Antoine stumbles back, falling to the floor.]
Ro-Becca: Oooooooh! My little bagel munch!
[Ro-Becca breaks out of her restraints without effort, and Antoine breaks out in his kung fu.]
Antoine: Hhooooah! Do not be coming any closer! I am warning you, I have the black and blue belts, huah!
Ro-Becca: OooooOOH! You are so adorable! Give me a kiss, my little green gumdrop!
[Antoine freaks out and runs out the door with Ro-Becca in playful pursuit.]
Ro-Becca: Yoo-hoooo! Wait for my little pigin pooh!
[Rotor returns to the workshop, looking for Antoine.]
Rotor: Antoine? The chest plate wasn’t in-
[Rotor is hit with some rain and wind, and notices the door is open.]
Rotor: Whoa! Now who left that-
[Rotor sees the empty operation table.]
Rotor: [Gasps] Antoine!

[Scene Change: Knothole Village, night.]

[Ro-Becca continues the game of cat and mouse and spouts more and more pet names.]
Ro-Becca: Yoo-hoo! I know you’re in there, my little cheese cake! You can never escape the power of love!
[Ro-Becca bursts down the door Antoine is hiding behind, as she crashes on Antoine. She walks over him, laughing.]
Ro-Becca: Is that you, my little cream puff?
[Antoine mutters under the door.]
Ro-Becca: I hear you, muffin face!
[Ro-Becca turns her finger into a flashlight and begins to search the room.]
Ro-Becca: Yoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo! Where are you!?
[Ro-Becca steps on the door in defeat, and Antoine gives out a muffled shriek.]
Ro-Becca: My little chicken soup has flown the coop.
[Ro-Becca heads out, and Antoine begins to lift the door up, when he hears a a running sound.]
Antoine: Oh no!
[Before Antoine can get out from under the door, Sonic jumps on the door, followed by Rotor.]
Sonic: That you, Ant?
Rotor: Well, I guess they’re not here.
Sonic: Later!
[Sonic speeds off with Rotor, swooping up the door, and revealing a flattened Antoine. He gets up, being dizzy, as he mutters French and walks out of the door opening.]
Ro-Becca: I see you, fuzzy puppy!
[Antoine gasps and runs off.]
Ro-Becca: Wait a minute! Where you going!? Wait- Come back my little French roll!
[Ro-Becca chases Antoine to the docks, as Antoine hides off the side.]
Antoine: Sacrebleu-cheese!
Ro-Becca: My little fruit cake! You can’t escape me! Where are you!?
[Antoine sneezes, loses his balance, and falls into the water, where he swims off to safety.]
Ro-Becca: Yoo-hoo! Is that you, Antoine!?
[Antoine swims to land, climbs up the side of a slope, and when he reaches the top, he hears the running sound again.]
Antoine: Oh-no, no, no, no, no!
[Sonic and Rotor speed by, as Antoine is thrown back down the slope.]
Antoine: Oh, this is the most horrible top of my entire whole life! What else could happen!?
[Antoine gets struck by lightning, flinging him over to Ro-Becca.]
Ro-Becca: Oh- I’m so happy, my little yogurt cup!
[Antoine sneezes.]
Ro-Becca: Oh! Not to worry, my little french toast! Ro-Becca will make you all better!
Antoine: Sacreblue-cheese!

[Scene Change: Antoine's hut, night.]

[Antoine's in bed with a cold as Ro-Becca prepares the soup.]
Ro-Becca: Open up for the yum-yum soup!
[Antoine opens wide as Ro-Becca feeds him.]
Antoine: Blech! I cannot eat such terrible gruel! What is it?
Ro-Becca: Mmhmm, well, if you insist, it’s my own secret recipe, love!
[Antoine shrieks in fear.]
Ro-Becca: I call it “Metal-stromy!”
Antoine: But I cannot! I-
[Antoine sneezes, as Ro-Becca wipes his nose.]
Ro-Becca: Blow!
Antoine: Ouch! Get away from my healthy nose!
Ro-Becca: I know what you need, a nice message!
[Ro-Becca lifts Antoine up.]
Antoine: Message!? Nonono! This is no a good-
[Ro-Becca jumps on Antoine's back.]
Antoine: ...Position to be in... Ak!
[Antoine begins crying out in pain.]
Ro-Becca: Oooooh, you’re so tense! Loosen up!
Antoine: Stop it, you massive fuel!
Ro-Becca: Yeah! Come on! What’s a girl gonna do-
[Rotor’s hand reaches out and flips a switch on the back of Ro-Becca's neck, shutting her down.]
Antoine: Ouch! Ouch! Oh-Nononono-Noooo! I am too young and handsome to die!
Rotor: Antoine. It’s ok Antoine. I turned her off. Relax.
Antoine: Nononononono-Nooo! Ouch, ow- What!? ...Ooh, I am so relieved. She was making me a bookcase!
Rotor: Heheheh! You mean “Basket-case.”

[Scene Change: Rotor's workshop, day.]

[Rotor'´is working on Ro-Becca once again.]
Rotor: Ok! I’ll just reverse her polarity, and she’ll be normal! All right Ro-Becca, repeat after me: “You are my assistant!”
[Ro-Becca's eyes snap open.]
Rotor: “You are my assistant!”
Ro-Becca: “You are my assistant!”
Rotor: No no no! I’m not your assistant, you’re my assistant!
Ro-Becca: “No no no! I’m not your assistant, you’re my assistant! I’m not your assistant, you’re my assistant! I’m not your assistant, you’re my assistant!”
[While losing it, Rotor opens up Ro-Becca's chest plate and shuts her down.]
Rotor: Still needs some work. There must be something... [Snaps] I’ve got it!
[Rotor runs out the door, but before he knows it, Ro-Becca gets up and heads out the door.]
Ro-Becca: My little French roll!
[Ro-Becca races over to Antoine's hut and begins ringing and banging the door, which has locks on it.]
Antoine: Help me!
Ro-Becca: My little cheesy-puff, I have come back to you!
[Ro-Becca slams the door down, as she has Antoine by the arm.]

[Scene Change: Rotor's workshop, day.]

Rotor: Well, I’m stumped.
Antoine: Oh- no, no, no, it’s not your fault, Rooter. You see, I am curse-ed with the handsome good look of dud-puppy like E’monton. No women- No women of any kind can resist me.
Rotor: Oh brother. Enough is enough! I’m just gonna get my tools and take her apart.
Antoine: You know, Ro-Becca. Even zo you are making my life into misery- [Sneezes] Sorry, I am feeling too sorry for you.
[Antoine tries to pull his arm away, as Ro-Becca giggles.]
Antoine: You cannot be helping yourself, my dear! Come here! Come here-nonono! Come here, look at zis!
[Antoine leads Ro-Becca to a mirror.]
Antoine: Ahhh! What is a too perfect hunk to do? Change my hair? Hah! I laugh in your face! My wardrobe? No, no, and no again! But, I cannot be having this poor love stunk creature. Hmmmm... Ahh! I must be making the sacrifice! I know, I will speak with the foreign accent! [Ahem] Hey, metal head! My name is Antoine!
[Antoine's speaks as if he is impersonating Arnold Schwarzenegger, as Ro-Becca backs away.]
Antoine: If you want to be strong, you must feel pain and pain again! Your biceps are horrible!
[Antoine grabs Ro-Becca's arm, but she flings it back.]
Ro-Becca: Ooooh! Oh, gross!
[Ro-Becca breaks down the side of the workshop and runs away.]
Antoine: Hasta enchilada, baby.
Rotor: [Off screen] Antoine!!
[Rotor chases Antoine out, just as Sonic makes the scene.]
Sonic: What the-!?
Ro-Becca: Stay away from me, you slimy toad!
Sonic: Yo, Ant! [Mock French accent] “You are having trouble with your little crepe, Suzette”?
Ro-Becca: Oooh... Hello, my little blue-boy... Oohhh! It’s you that I love!
Sonic: Say-what?
[Ro-Becca makes a kissy face at Sonic.]
Sonic: Rote! Do something! I’m gonna hurl!
[Rotor starts snickering.]
Antoine: Oh-nono-nono. I think you two are a cute couple, nes pa?
[Sonic joins Rotor and they laugh, as Sonic keeps Ro-Becca from kissing him.]
Sonic: Guuah! I’d rather chew off my leg!
[Sonic blasts off, sending Ro-Becca backwards at Antoine, and he runs for his life.]
Rotor: Antoine?
[Ro-Becca lands on Antoine.]
Ro-Becca: Oh, my little French pastry! Seems I’ve fallen for you again!
Antoine: [Gruntingly] Sacrebleu-cheese.
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