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Super Sonic (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Super Sonic".

[Scene: Waterwheel, Knothole Village, day.]

Bunnie: Here y'all go, Rotor. [Puts down a toolbox.]
Rotor: Thanks, Bunnie.
Bunnie: Welcome, Ah'm sure. [Notices her frizzy ears and screams.] Ah'm a walkin' disaster! Y'all wanna hurry up here, Rotor? All this dampness is frizzin' my ears.
[Sally walks into the scene carrying a big wrench.]
Sally: This is the biggest wrench I could find, Rotor.
Rotor: You know, if we use a bigger gear -here- we could double the power output.
Sally: I bet you're right. [Gets Nicole.] Nicole, search data bank for entry "water wheel".
Nicole: One entry qualifies, Sally.
[Nicole shows a hologram of a rose.]
Sally: Wha? Nicole, a water wheel.
Nicole: One entry qualifies.
[Nicole shows a hologram of a chili dog.]
Sally: Oh, no; I was afraid of this.
[Sonic speeds into the scene.]
Sonic: Somebody's got that old chili dog feelin' again!
Sally: No, Sonic. Nicole is malfunctioning.
Sonic: A chili dog is NO malfunction, Sal.
Sally: Nicole, run diagnostic level 4B.
Nicole: Running...sub-microprocessor chip 16 has a fatal error.
Sonic: Is that bad?
Sally: [Exasperated growl.]

[Scene Change: Robotropolis street]

Sonic: It's cool.
[Sonic jumps out of a manhole with Sally.]
Sally: Ready?
Sonic: Ready and steady.
Sonic and Sally: Let's do it to it!
Sonic: Yo, heavy metal heads! Wanna play tag? Yer it!
Sally: Now or never, Sally-girl...

[Scene Change: Robotropolis factory.]

[Sally grabs a chip from the assembly line.]
Sally: Yes!
[Sally is confronted by a robot, and gasps.]
Sally: Oh, hi! I was just leaving...
[The robot sounds the alarm.)
Sally: I hate when they do that!

[Scene Change: Outside the factory]

Sonic: Come on, Sal; where ya at?
[Swat-Bots arrive.]
Sonic: Don't they ever get tired? Whoa! Huh?

[Scene Change: Robotropolis street.]

Sally: Forbidden Zone?
[Sally gasps as a Swat-Bot approaches.]

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

[Sally is seen on one of Dr. Robotnik's monitors.]
Robotnik: Send more Hover Units, Snivley.
Snively: Yes sir, Dr. Robotnik.
Robotnik: I want the Princess.
[A cloaked figure vaporizes the Swat-Bot chasing Sally.)
Robotnik: Who was that?
Snivley: I really don't know, sir. I'll find out.

[Scene Change: Robotropolis street.]

Sonic: You okay, Sal?
Sally: Yes. Let's get out of here.

[Scene Change: Knothole Village.]

Bunnie: What in Heaven's name do you suppose that cloaked thing was?
Sally: It was the Guardian.
Rotor: Who's the Guardian?
Sally: More like "what". According to legend, he watches over the resting place of Lazaar.
Sonic: What's Lazaar?
Sally: Not what; who.
Sonic: Who is what?

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

Snivley: The evil wizard, Lazaar, has rested for centuries within the Forbidden Zone. Although many have attempted to recover his computer of magic spells, none have succeeded.
Robotnik: Hmmm. Go on.
Snivley: According to legend, Lazaar awaits someone vile enough to awaken him.
Robotnik: Vile?
Snivley: That would be you, Sir.

[Scene change: Lake of Rings, day.]

Sally: Forget it, Sonic; it's too risky!
Sonic: C'mon, Sal! Lazaar's magic spells can really kick some Robuttnik tail!
Sally: But you might wake Lazaar!
Sonic: Moi? Faster than lightning, quieter than a mouse...I'm there and back before you know I'm even gone!
Sally: Will you be serious for a minute?
Sonic: Thirty seconds is my limit...
Sally: One day you'll learn that speed is no substitute for common sense.
Sonic: Time's up! Snooze, ya loose; gotta cruise!
Sally: Be careful, Sonic!
Sonic: It's magic time!
Sally: [Exasperated sigh.] Boys...

[Scene Change: Edge of the Forbidden Zone.]

Snivley: I've found him, Doctor Robotnik.
Robotnik: Then where is he?
Snivley: Well, he was right...
Guardian: [Interrupts.] Why have you summoned me?
Robotnik: A little business proposition, my dear Guardian; one you might find rewarding.
Guardian: I have no use for riches.
[The Guardian turns to walk away.]
Robotnik: Well, another kind of deal then. I...I want the location of Lazaar's lair. Name your price.
Guardian: You intend harm to my master?
Robotnik: Oh, you wound me, dear Guardian. I merely want to wake the grand wizard and honor his evilness. We have much in common.
Guardian: Yes. I can see that. [Projects a holographic map.] You must enter the Forbidden Zone. Go alone; for only your metallic heart is evil enough to withstand the dangers. You have been warned.

[Scene Change: Outside Lazaar's lair]

Robotnik: Proceed.
[A Swat-Bot is crushed by a trap.]
Robotnik: Hmm.

[Scene Change: Outside Lazaar's Lair.]

Sonic: That is one ugly condo! Juice and jam time!

[Scene Change: Inside Lazaar's Lair.]

[Sonic find the tunnel slitting into three tunnels, each with its own obstacles.]
Sonic: Whoa! Whoa! Here's another nice mess! Which way? What's a hedgehog to do... Do I wanna get diced, charred, or crushed? Hmm....this is a tough one.
[The Guardian attacks.]
Sonic: Huh? Hey, watch it! Man! This guy has an attitude! Triple-S time!

[Scene Change: Lazaar's Inner Sanctum.]

Robotnik: Since you won't be needing this anymore... [Grabs Lazaar's Computer] Sleep well, old boy.

[Scene Change: Inside Lazaar's Lair.]

Sonic: Woah! Piece of cake... [sarcastic.] Nice bridge.

[Scene Change: Waterwheel, Knothole Village.]

Rotor: Cool. Now tighten that screw, Bunnie.
Bunnie: Sally, screwdriver please.
Bunnie: [Notices that Sally had passed a hammer] My, my, I do declare Sally-girl; your mind is anywhere but--!
Sally: Sorry. I'm worried about Sonic. If he wakes Lazaar...
Bunnie: Now don't worry yourself none. That little sugar-hog is too quick for some sleepy old wizard.
Sally: I hope you're right, Bunnie.

[Scene Change: Inside Lazaar's Lair.]

Sonic: Nothing's easy anymore. Barbecued hedgehog is not my idea of fun. Cruisin' and bruisin' time!

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

Robotnik: Activate it, Snivley.
Snivley: Yes, Sir.
Lazaar's Computer: Enter command or "I" for spell index.
Robotnik: The index, Snvley; quickly.
Lazaar's Computer: Amulets, banishments, bones, cages, curses...
Robotnik: What a lovely variety.

[Scene Change: Lazaar's Inner Sanctum.]

Sonic: Huh?
Lazaar: Another thief it is! My computer he comes to steal.
Sonic: Who, me? No, no, no, no; I just took a wrong turn, so I'll be crusin'.
Lazaar: Fast not so, little thief!
[Lazaar traps Sonic in a magic bubble.]
Sonic: Hey! Let me outta here!

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

Lazaar's Computer: ...ravens, rings, submission, slavery, teleports...
Robotnik: Oh, that's it. Teleports. Exactly what I need.
Lazaar's Computer: Name target.
Robotnik: Sonic. The Hedgehog.
Lazaar's Computer: Target out of range. Name target.
Robotnik: Princess Sally.
Lazaar's Computer: Confirm target.
Robotnik: Affirmative.
[Sally is teleported to Robotnik.]
Sally: What happened? Where...?
Robotnik: Take her!
Sally: Robotnik...!
Robotnik: Stop her!
Sally: Gah! Get out of my face, Cluck!
Robotnik: So nice of you to drop by, Princess.
Sally: How did you do this, Robotnik?
Robotnik: Oh, let's just say it''s magic.
Sally: You found Lazaar's computer, didn't you?
Robotnik: I cannot tell a lie, Princess. I did. [Ordering a Swat-Bot.] Secure her. A princess needs her lady-in-waiting wouldn't you say, Snivley?
Snivley: Oh, yes, sir. Absolutely.
Lazaar's Computer: Name target.
Robotnik: Bunnie Rabbot.
[Bunnie is teleported to Robotnik.]
Bunnie: What the heck happened?
Sally: Bunnie, run! RUN!
[Bunnie smacks down the Swat-Bot and tries to free Sally.]
Sally: Bunnie, just go. Go!
Bunnie: You all should learn how to treat a lady!
Robotnik: Stun her!
[Bunnie is hit by the stun ray from a Laser Rifle.]
Sally: You are a miserable creep, Robotnik!
Robotnik: Why thank you, Princess.

[Scene Change: Inside Lazaar's Lair.]

Lazaar: Using the magic he is.
Sonic: Who's using the magic?
Lazaar: I know not his name, but evil he is. Pure evil!
Sonic:: Then it's Robotnik!
Lazaar: Evil I was once...but dreamed for centuries I did. Regret the evil, I do.
Sonic: Cool. So let me outta here.
Lazaar: Release you? Why?
Sonic: So I can stop Robotnik. Like you said, he's totally evil. No telling what he'll do with your magic.
Lazaar: Promise first, you must.
Sonic: Sure, anything. What?
Lazaar: Find my computer. Return it you shall.
Sonic: I promise. Now let me out.
[Lazaar presses a button on his belt. Sonic is freed from the magic bubble.]
Sonic: Yeah! Thanks. It's juice and jam time!
[Lazaar presses a button on his belt. Sonic stops revving up.]
Sonic: Man. Whadya do to me?
Lazaar: Took your speed, little thief.
Sonic: That's uncool! Why'd ya do that?
Lazaar: Evil I was; ignorant I wasn't. [Chuckles.] Return it when your promise you keep.
Sonic: No prob. But how do I get your computer without my speed?
Lazaar: Brains you have; brains you must use.
Sonic: Why does everything have to be so difficult?

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

Robotnik: Hmm. The submission spell interesting, Snivley.
Snivley: Yes, sir.
[Bunnie is hit by the submission spell.]
Bunnie: [Monotone] I await your orders, sir.
Sally: [Softly] Oh, Bunnie...
Robotnik: Bring the Princess.
Sally: Bunnie. Listen to me. You have to fight the magic. Fight the magic!
Robotnik: Enough!
[Sally is hit by the submission spell.]
Sally: [Monotone] How can I help you Dr. Robotnik?

[Scene Change: Robotropolis.]

Sonic: Way to use the ol' brain. Whu-oh!
[Sonic gets teleported to Robotnik.]

[Scene Change: Robotnik's headquarters.]

Sonic: Sal? Bunnie? What are you guys doin' here?
Robotnik: Ladies, if you please... Well, hedgehog...
Sonic: Hey! What's going on?
Robotnik: ...I have you at last.
Sonic: What did you do to them, Robuttnik?
Robotnik: I made them...obedient. Perhaps I should roboticize them. Starting with you. Princess!
Sonic: Sal, hold up. Don't do this! Sal, it's me your best friend, your best bud... Your main squeeze.
Sally: Shut your mouth, hedgehog!
Roboticizer: Activating...dialing...
Sonic: Sorry, Bunnie.
Robotnik: Get him!
[Sonic grabs Lazaar's Computer. Robotnik pushes one of the Swat-Bot's Laser Rifles away.]
Robotnik: You'll hit the crystal!
Sonic: This isn't good.
Robotnik: Security, intruder alert, main lab!
Lazaar: [Through spell computer] Up to you, little thief.
Sonic: Sorry, Sal. [To Cluck.] Take a hike, bird brain! I'll take that. Now, girls...
Sally: Sonic? What is going on?
Bunnie: What in the high heavens are you doin' here?
Sonic: Tell ya later. [Whispers.] Past cool, Lazaar.
Bunnie: Um, can Ah make a little ol' suggestion?
Sonic: We're all ears, Bunnie.
Bunnie: Let's get the hip-hop outta here.
[Bunnie trashes a SWATbot.]
Robotnik: I despise that miserable hedgehog, Cluck. Despise him with all my metallic heart.

[Scene Change: Outside Lazaar's lair.]

Lazaar: Well you did, little thief.
Sonic: Stay with us, Lazaar. Join the Freedom Fighters.
Lazaar: Here for Mobius it is bad. Guard it I must.
Sally: Can't you destroy it?
Bunnie: The girl has a point. If it's all so evil, why not just be rid of it?
Lazaar: Release all the evil that would. A catastrophe it would be. Sonic, your speed I return.
[Lazaar presses a button on his belt. Sonic gets his speed back]
Lazaar: Luck to you, Sonic.
Sonic: And to you Lazaar.
[Lazaar and his lair disappear.]
Sonic: We better juice.
Bunnie: Music to my ears.

[Scene Change: Waterwheel, Knothole Village, night.]

Rotor: Man, I'm glad you guys are back.
Sally: So are we.
Rotor: What happened?
Sonic: It's a long story, bud.
Bunnie: [Yawns.] And it will keep ‘til morning.
Rotor: Well, this won’t. Check out the water wheel.
[Rotor flips a switch and a light bulb turns on.]
Sonic: That’s what you guys been working on??
Sally: Yes. Isn’t it fantastic?
Sonic: [Groans.]