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Subterranean Sonic
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Subterranean Sonic".

[The episode begins one night outside Dr. Robotnik's fortress. Inside his fortress, Dr. Robotnik is complaining about he hasn't caught Sonic yet.]

Robotnik [heard offscreen]: He's out there still! Mocking me with his scurrilous speed! Standing between me and my dream of total domination of Mobius!

[Scratch turns on the light. Robotnik turns around and stares at him and Grounder angrily.]

Scratch [heard offscreen]: Are you talking about Sonic?

[Scratch and Grounder are seen standing next to a light switch.]

Robotnik: Turn off that light! Can't you see I'm brooding?
Scratch: Oh, yes. Sorry.

[Scratch turns off the light with his right index finger.]

Robotnik: That's better. Ahem. As I was saying, I hate that hedgehog,
Scratch: Huh?
Robotnik: And I want him captured now!
Grounder: But how are we ever gonna find him?

[Robotnik walks up to a computer, and jumps into the chair next to it.]

Robotnik: My deluxe, highly-calibrated Hedgehog-ometer has picked up his trail in the Marble Zone. You leave at first light!

[Robotnik pulls on a lever with his left hand. The platform that Scratch and Grounder are standing on launches them into the air, and they crash through the skyline in the ceiling.]

Scratch: But it's still...
Grounder: ...dark out!
Scratch and Grounder: Whoa!
Robotnik: So? I'm a little impatient.

[At the Marble Zone, Scratch and Grounder fly through the air.]

Grounder: Whoa!
Scratch: Aaah-ha-ha!

[Scratch and Grounder land in a geyser.]

Grounder: Ugh!
Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

[Scratch emerges from the gesyer and coughs violently.]

Scratch: Sonic's gotta be around here somewhere!

[Grounder emerges from the geyser and coughs violently]

Grounder: We'll never find him! I can't see a thing!

[Sonic runs past the geyser, clearing the smoke from it.]

Scratch: Huh?

[Scratch and Grounder look around.]

Scratch and Grounder: What's that?

[Sonic runs up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Sonic: That better?

[Scratch and Grounder nod their heads, "Yes" in unison.]

Grounder: Yeah, thanks! I can see perfect now!

[Scratch and Grounder stare in shock, and their jaws drop, leaving their mouths open wide.]

Scratch and Grounder: Hey! Oh-ho-ho!
Sonic: Eat my dust, gus!

[Sonic runs in place, tossing dust in Scratch and Grounder's mouths, thus making them literally eat his dust. Sonic then runs away, then the screen transitions to a view of him running across the Marble Zone, with Tails flying behind him.]

Tails: You think we lost em', Sonic?

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a pair of binoculars. He turns around and looks through them, seeing Scratch and Grounder running in the distance.]

Sonic: Fraid' not, they're still coming!

[Tails gasps when he sees what's ahead.]

Tails: I bet you got something really special planned, huh?
Sonic: For what?
Tails: To get down the cliff!

[Tails points to the cliff ahead with his right index finger. Sonic suddenly sees the cliff ahead and puts his hands on his face, a la Kevin McAllister from "Home Alone".]

Sonic: Whoa! Brakes!

[Sonic screeches to a halt, stopping just at the edge of the cliff. He looks down and sees a river of lava below. He then turns around and hears Scratch and Grounder approaching him and Tails in the distance. They run up to a geyser.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!
Grounder: [screams]

[Scratch ducks behind the geyser.]

Scratch: Bwahaha! We got him cornered now!
Tails: What are we gonna do, Sonic? we're trapped!
Sonic: Live fast, think fast, act fast!
Grounder: You think he saw us?
Scratch: No!

[The geyser erupts in front of Scratch and Grounder.]

Scratch: Hey-hey!
Grounder: Hey, watch it!

[Sonic snaps his left thumb and index finger. He then uses his left index finger to point at the geyser Scratch and Grounder are behind.]

Sonic: See that geyser Scratch and Grounder aren't doing a good job of hiding behind? I see you!

[Sonic waves at Scratch and Grounder with his left hand. Scrach and Grounder peer from behind the geyser]

Grounder: I think he saw us.
Scratch: He's just trying to trick us!

[Sonic is now holding his right hand up to Tails' right ear.]

Sonic [whispering to Tails]: Once it dies down, we've got 1.25 seconds before it gushes again, so...

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, dressed as a miner, even holding a pickaxe in his left hand.]

Sonic: ...we're going underground!
Tails: We are?
Sonic: Right into the geyser hole!

[Sonic grabs Tails by his left arm with his right hand and runs towards the geyser, with him in tow.]

Scratch: Ha ha, here comes the hedgehog! Get ready to nab him!

[Sonic continues running towards the geyser. Scratch is now holding a chain in both his hands, and Grounder has turned his left drill into a hand, which is holding a net, and his right drill into a bear trap. The geyser dies down.]

Grounder: Huh?
Scratch: What?

[Sonic continues running towards the geyser.]

Scratch: Now!

[Sonic runs into the geyser, and Scratch and Grounder try to catch him, creating a huge cloud of dust, which emits some stars.]

Scratch: Hey! Who-hoo-ho! Ow! Watch it! I caught him!
Grounder: Ugh! No, I caught him!

[The dust cloud clears, revealing Scratch to have caught Grounder's nose in the chains, and Grounder to have caught Scratch in the net, and his own head in his bear trap.]

Grounder: I thought you had him!
Scratch: I thought you had him!
Grounder: Where'd they go?

[Scratch and Grounder look inside the geyser hole.]

Scratch: They couldn't have!
Grounder: Sure, they could have!
Scratch: No way! Nobody's that fast! It would have erupted in their faces!

[Sure enough, the geyser erpupts in Scratch and Grounder's faces and carries them into the air.]

Scratch and Grounder: Whoa! Yeow-hoo-hoo! Ow-hoo-hoo!

[Underground, Sonic and Tails are now standing next to the geyser that erupted in Scratch and Grounder's faces.]

Tails: Where are we?
Sonic: A long way from the nearest chili dog stand, that's for sure!

[Sonic touches the headlamp on his helmet with his right hand, turning it on. He then shines the light on three different caves.]

Tails: Gee, Sonic, which way?
Sonic: This way!

[Sonic runs away, with Tails following him. The geyser dies down, and Scratch and Grounder land in it. Grounder's head falls off during the crash.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho-ho!
Grounder: Ow! Oh!

[Scratch and Grounder grunt as they pull themselves out of the geyser. Scratch then shakes his head.]

Scratch: Ow-how-how! Oh, my head!

[Grounder's body is now looking for his head.]

Scratch: Oh, will you get a hold of yourself?!
Grounder: I got a hold of most of me! Heh heh! I just lost my head for a moment.

[Grounder's right drill points to where his head would be.]

Scratch: Just leave it! You never use it, anyway! Besides, we gotta go before the hedgehog gets away!

[Scratch tries to walk away, but he trips over Grounder's head offscreen.]

Scratch [heard offscreen]: Oh! Ow! Grounder, I found your head.

[Grounder's body turns his right drill into a flashlight, which he shines on his head, which Scratch is now revealed to be sitting on.]

Grounder: Hey! Get off my face!

[Grounder's body now picks up his head with both his hands from under Scratch, causing Scratch to fall over.]

Scratch: Oh!

[Grounder's body puts his head back on.]

Grounder: You are so rude!

[Scratch is now impatiently tapping his left foot.]

Scratch: Can we go now?

[Scratch and Grounder run away. Meanwhile, Sonic is trying to find his way out of the mine.]

Tails [heard offscreen]: Sonic, can you see where you're going?
Sonic [heard offscreen]: No, Tails, I can't, and it's really slowing me down!

[Sonic runs through the mine with Tails in tow,, creating a trail of fire behind him and Tails. Eventually, they come to a cave filled with treasure, and slip on the floor.]

Sonic and Tails: Whoa!

[Sonic and Tails are stopped by a pile of gold.]

Sonic and Tails: Ugh! Oh!

[Stars spin around Sonic and Tails' heads. Just then, a giant diamond, known as Diamondius, falls and lands on Tails' head.]

Tails: Ugh!

[Sonic looks up at the diamondius, as does Tails when he regains conciousness. He picks up the diamondius with both his hands and shows it to Sonic.]

Tails: Whoa? Did you see all this stuff?
Sonic: Yep, great, enough sight-seeing. Time to speed, keed!
Tails: Look at this diamondius! Can I take it with us? Huh? Can I?
Spelunk [heard offscreen]: Drop it, foxy!
Tails: [screams]

[Sonic and Tails stare in shock when they hear Spelunk, an old grey mole in a blue mining outfit. Sonic gasps, and Tails drops the diamondius. Spelunk is now standing next to a cannon.]

Sonic: Hey, don't scare my pal like that! Who are...
Spelunk: This is my claim, and I'll ask the questions! And my question is, you got any lasts requests, afore I let ya have it?

[Spelunk is now holding a match in his left hand. Sonic walks up to Spelunk]

Sonic: Yeah, two requests; show us how to get out of here, and two dozen chili dogs, with extra onions and cheese, to go!

[Sonic holds up two of his left fingers, and Spelunk shudders angrily.]

Spelunk: Chili dogs?! Forget it! Do you know how much chili dogs cost? Money don't grow on trees, you know! You're just like the rest of them; want something of mine for nothing!

[Spelunk now puts his left index finger on Sonic's nose.]

Spelunk: I got a right mind to blast you!

[Spelunk turns his cannon with both his hands, pointing it at Sonic. He then lights the match in his left hand with the cannon and lights the fuse.]

Sonic: In that case, gotta roll, troll!

[Sonic runs away.]

Spelunk: Stop! You thievin', tresspassin, lootin' no-good varmints!

[Sonic stops when he hears this, then runs back to Spelunk, who is now tapping his left foot.]

Sonic: Hey, you've got us all wrong! We're freedom fighters!
Spelunk: Looks to me like you're freeloaders, and I don't give nothin' for free!

[The cannon fires a cannonball. It chases after Sonic, who runs away, and when he gets to Tails, he grabs him with his right hand, towing him along.]

Tails: Whoa!

[Sonic and Tails run through the cave, with the cannonball chasing them the entire time. The cannonball eventually catches up to Sonic and attacks him from behind.]

Sonic: Oof! Whoa!

[Sonic continues running, with the cannonball chasing him. He and Tails run away from it.]

Tails: Whoa!

[Sonic eventually comes to a dead end. He screeches to a halt when he sees it, and throws Tails down.]

Sonic: Ugh!

[Sonic and Tails look at the skylight above them.]

Sonic: Hang on!

[Sonic runs in place, then grabs Tails' left arm with his right hand. They jump through the skylight. Scratch and Grounder then run up to where Sonic and Tails were previously, and look around.]

Scratch: Could have sworn I heard the hedgehog!

[Grounder looks behind him, then taps Scratch's body with his right hand. He then points behind himself with his left thumb, and the cannonball flies towards them. Scratch and Grounder stare in shock.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!
Grounder: [screams]

[Scratch then holds up a sign that says HELP in red letters with his left hand, a la Wile E. Coyote of Looney Tunes fame. The cannonball flies into them and crashes, creating a cloud of grey dust.]

Grounder [heard offscreen]: I put my head back on for this?
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Aw, shut up! At least yours is supposed to be detachable!

[Sonic and Tails land outside the hole and at the bottom of a spiral-shape hill with mine cart tracks. The top of the hill leads out of the mine.]

Sonic: These gotta lead out! Let's make tracks!

[Sonic runs towards the hill. Tails shrugs, then flies after Sonic. As Sonic runs up the hill, Tails talks to him.]

Tails: You know, that mole troll guy is so mean, I almost miss Scratch and Grounder!
Sonic: Oh, he probably wouldn't be so bad if he spent some quality time with us!

[Tails gasps when he hears Spelunk.]

Spelunk [heard offscreen]: I'll get you, you miserable trespassers!

[Spelunk is now seen riding a mine cart, which is coming down the other way. Sonic screeches to a halt when he sees him.]

Tails: [screams]
Sonic: That is not the quality I had in mind!

[Sonic tuns around and runs back down the other way. Tails flies behind him, and Spelunk follows them on his mine cart. Sonic looks back at Spelunk, then back ahead. He sees a Mother Turtle and her three children (a boy wearing a blue beanie and a girl wearing a pink bow and matching pink necklace, and another boy wearing glasses and a red bow tie), slowly crossing the tracks. Sonic gasps and screeches to a halt when he sees them.]

Sonic: Hurry up! There's a mad troll chasing me, and you'll get scrunched!
Mother Turtle: We are... hurrying!

[Sonic looks back. Spelunk laughs evilly as he approaches him. Sonic then turns to Tails.]

Sonic: Duck in there!

[Tails flies behind a rock, and ducks behind it. Sonic runs up to the track, which now has a crossing gate that lowers. Sonic is now dressed as a crossing guard, and is holding a STOP sign in his left hand. Spelunk stares in shock when he sees Sonic.]

Spelunk: Huh?

[Spelunk screeches his mine cart to a halt.]

Spelunk; Aaaah, ooh, ow! What's this? I own this line! Who are you, anyway?

[Sonic points at the Turtle family with the STOP sign he is holding in his left hand.]

Spelunk: Ah, all right!

[The Turtle family crosses the tracks, and when they reach the other side, they wave at Spelunk with their left arms, except for the boy in the glasses and bow tie, who waves with his right arm. The crossing gate then lifts.]

Sonic: Okay, keep it moving! We got a schedule to keep!

[Spelunk starts up his mine cart again. Tails then runs up to Sonic, holding his left hand above his head.]

Sonic: Okay, Tails, let's hit the rails!

[Sonic runs back up the hill, with Tails flying behind him. Due to stock footage being re-used, Sonic is back in his mining outfit during this scene. Meanwhile, Spelunk reaches the bottom of the hill, then stares in shock.]

Spelunk: What?

[Spelunk stops his mine cart. He then waves his left arm furiously.]

Spelunk: Why that scheming little poacher! I oughta! I oughta!

[Sonic continues running back up the hill, with Tails flying behind him. At the bottom of the hill, Spelunk is standing next to a lever.]

Spelunk: If those two think they can go tell the world about my treasure caves, they got another think coming to em'!

[Spelunk pulls the lever foward with both his hands.]

Spelunk: Ugh!

[Near the top of the hill, Sonic is back in his crossing guard disguise as he and Tails reach the top.]

Tails: Hey, we made it!
Sonic: Never a doubt!

[The rails suddenly turn into a slide, which Sonic and Tails now slip on and slide down.]

Tails: Ugh! Whoa! Whoa! Whao!
Sonic: Yeow, whoa-oa-oa! Whoa!

[Sonic and Tails slide down toward a pair of doors, which open.]

Tails: [screams] Whoa!
Sonic: Yeow-ow! Yikes!

[When Sonic and Tails reach the end of the slide, they land in a cage, with diamondius-encrusted bars.]

Sonic and Tails: Ugh!

[Both Sonic and Tails crash into the bars. Stars spin around them when they hit the bars. Spelunk then closes the cage, locking them in, and laughs evilly.]

Tails: Sonic, how are we gonna get out?
Sonic: Don't sweat it, kiddo! I'll throw my triple-spin into overdrive, and Zzz-razo! I'll cut through these bars in no time!

[Sonic holds up his left index finger. He then stands up and spins, attempting to cut through the bars. When he hits them, they don't break, instead stopping him in his tracks. Sonic also loses his crossing guard disguise in the process.]

Sonic: Yipes! Oof!

[After crashing into the bars and getting dizzy, stars spin around Sonic as he lands. Tails then puts his hands on his face.]

Tails: Sonic, are you alright?
Spelunk: Ha! These bars are made of pure diamondius, the hardest substance on Mobius! You'll never get out!

[Spelunk grabs the bars with both his hands and laughs evilly.]

Spelunk: That's what ol' Spelunk does to theivin' interlopers! [chuckles] Might as well get yourselves comfortable, you're gonna be here the rest of your lives!

[Spelunk laughs evilly and walks away as the screen fades to black.The next scene takes place above ground. Dr. Robotnik is in his Egg-O-Matic hovercraft, Grounder is in a machine called the Extractor One, which somewhat resembles the Egg Drillster from Sonic the Hedgehog 2, and Scratch is in a machine called the Chickdozer One, which resembles a backhoe. Robotnik and his badniks search for the treasure that Sonic and Tails found earlier.]

Robotnik: You'd better be right about this!

[Scratch is now holding the left handlebar of the Chickdozer One with his left hand and a microphone in his right. He speaks into the microphone.]

Scratch: Absolutely positive, your supremeness! Chickdozer One out.

[Scratch holds his left hand up to his head.]

Grounder: Uh, Extractor One to Dr. Robotnik. I'd just like to humbly remind you, your rottenness, that I'm the one who found the jewels and the fugitives!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Was not!
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Was too!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Was not!
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Was too!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Was not!
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Was too!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Was not! Was not!
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Was too! Was too! Was too!

[As Scratch and Grounder argue, Robotnik gets irritated. He puts his right hand on his head, then reaches into his Egg-O-Matic with the same hand and pulls out a gavel.]

Robotnik: Shut your brass beaks, you chrome cluckers! Remember, you are my Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad, a team! So stop this arguing immediately!
Scratch [heard offscreen]: Uh, I wasn't arguing! Uh, he was!

[As Scratch and Grounder talk, Robotnik growls.]

Grounder: I was not!

[Robotnik slams the gavel on his Egg-O-Matic. He, Scratch, and Grounder then stop their vehicles.]

Robotnik: Since you metallic morons can't remember where you were, we're just going to have to tear the whole terrirtory to pieces, until we find Sonic and the loot!
Scratch and Grounder: Good idea!

[Grounder turns the Extractor One's drill on and digs into the ground with it. Scratch then pushes the ground with the Chickdozer one's blade, then pulls the left handlebar with his left hand, and the scoop scoops up the ground.]

Robotnik: Ah, destruction and devastation! What an exquisite fringe benefit! Now find that hedgehog!

[Robotnik's voice, which says, "That hedgehog!" echoes from above the ground as the ceiling crumbles from underground, dropping rocks near the cage Sonic and Tails are imprisoned in. Sonic, Tails, and Spelunk flinch, and Tails gasps.]

Sonic: It's Robotnik! He's gonna bring this whole place down on our heads!

[Spelunk runs with his hands over his head, trying to dodge the rocks.]

Spelunk: This is all your fault, hedgehog! You busted in on me, and now everybody wants to!
Sonic: I can stop this, but you gotta let us out!

[Spelunk is now standing behind a lever.]

Spelunk: No, siree! This here behavior's got to be discouraged, or I might have to share my treasure!

[Spelunk pulls the lever with his right hand. Sonic and Tails look down as a trap door slowly begins to open below them. Tails gasps, and Spelunk walks up to the cage.]

Spelunk: There ain't no bottom to that pit, fellas! That'll teach you to drop in unannounced!

[As the trap door gets more and more open, Sonic and Tails back up towards the bars of the cage.]

Tails: Sonic, I have a confession to make.
Sonic: What's that?
Tails: I'm a little scared!

[Tails trembles in fear.]

Sonic: Uh, don't worry, when have I ever let you down?

[Sonic and Tails now stand on their tiptoes as the trap door is almost all the way open.]

Sonic: Uh, maybe I should rephrase that.

[Above ground, Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder are now out of their vehicles and in the pit they just dug.]

Robotnik: Morons! You promised me diamondius! You promised me gold! You promised me Sonic!

[Scratch is now scratching his head with his left hand.]

Scratch: Uh, I don't understand. The caverns were right here!
Robotnik: How much deeper could they be?

[Unknown to Robotnik, Sonic and the treasure are right below him. Grounder rolls away, then comes back, carrying a crate filled with explosives.]

Grounder: This ought to do it, boss; dynamite! We can blast the place wide open!

[Robotnik is now tapping his left foot.]

Scratch: We'll blow it to bits, and we'll all be rich! Bwahaha!

[Robotnik grabs Scratch's beak with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Pardon me?
Scratch: Did I say "We'd all be rich"?
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Yep!
Scratch: Excuse me, I meant, "You'll be rich"! You!

[Robotnik lets go of Scratch's beak and pats him on the head with his right hand.]

Robotnik: You're such a smart robot!

[Back in the cage, Sonic and Tails back up towards the bars as the trap door is now 100% open.]

Sonic: You're making a big mistake, Spelunk! Haven't you ever heard of Dr. Robotnik, the nastiest villain in the history of Mobius?

[Sonic and Tails are now holding onto the bars of the cage from the opposite direction.]

Spelunk: Nope!

[Spelunk walks towards the exit.]

Sonic: Let me guess; you don't get out much, do you?

[Spelunk turns his head towards Sonic.]

Spelunk: Nope!
Sonic: Don't you realize the terrible villain is about to destroy this entire place and steal everything you've got?!

[Spelunk is now standing outside the exit, looking at Sonic.]

Spelunk: Nope! Don't pay no never mind to current events!
Sonic: Hmm. Maybe you should consider a carreer in politics.

[Back above ground, the hole is now filled with crates of dynamite. It is hooked up to Grounder, who is now serving as a dynamite plunger, even having handles placed atop his head, which Scratch is now holding with both his hands.]

Robotnik: If this doesn't work, I'm gonna make chicken broth out of both of you!
Grounder: Can you make broth out of robots?

[Robotnik growls furiously.]

Grounder: Sure! Why not? A little salt, a little pepper, I'm sure we'd be delicious!

[Robotnik growls again.]

Grounder [nervously]: W-w-well, Scratch, uh, what are you waiting for?

[Scratch pushes the handles on Grounder's head.]

Scratch: Ugh!
Grounder: Ugh!

[The dynamite explodes. Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder flinch as pieces of Spelunk's treasure rain down near them.]

Scratch: It worked!
Grounder: It worked!

[Grounder's eyes spin like slot machine reels, until they turn into dollar signs. Suddenly, the ground below Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder begins to crack.]

Scratch: D'oh!

[The ground below Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder begins to collapse.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[The ground below Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder collapses, pushing them in.]

Robotnik and Scratch: [both scream]

[Back underground, Spelunk flinches and gasps as a pile of boulders fall in front of the exit, sealing them off. Sonic and Tails are now holding onto the cage's bars for their lives as they begin to fall into the pit.]

Sonic: [screams]

[A giant diamondius above the cage falls onto it, breaking it and setting Sonic and Tails free. They climb out of the pit.]

Tails: Phew! That was close, Sonic!
Sonic: No problem. We had milliseconds to spare.
Robotnik: [screams]

[Scratch and Grounder fall into the pit, but due to his immense size, Robotnik gets stuck.]

Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder: [all scream]
Scratch: Do you think...
Grounder: ...we used too much...
Robotnik: ...dynamite?

[Robotnik falls into the pit.]

Robotnik: Yeeeeees!!

[Sonic and Tails look down at Robotnik.]

Sonic: Nice of you to drop by!
Robotnik: I order you to break my fall!
Grounder: You can count on me!

[Scratch holds his left hand up to his head.]

Scratch: I'll save you! Whoa-ho! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

[Scratch grabs onto a rock with his right hand. Grounder then turns his right drill into a grapping hook and fires it at the edge. He then swings down and hits the wall.]

Grounder: Oof!
Scratch: Catch him! Catch him!

[Robotnik falls towards Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: [screams]

[Grounder turns his left drill into a net. Robotnik lands in the net, but due to his massive size, he tears through it, and continues falling.]

Grounder: I caught him! I caught him!
Robotnik [heard offscreen]: [screams]

[Grounder looks into his net, and finds it is empty and there is a hole in it.]

Grounder: Huh? Oooh, I didn't catch him.
Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Fools!
Sonic: We'd better blow, bro! You know, there's no keeping a bad egg down!
Spelunk [heard offscreen]: You ain't going nowheres!
Sonic: Huh?

[Sonic looks towards Spelunk. Spelunk is now holding a bag of his treasure in his right arm as he points to the boulders blocking the exit with his left index finger.]

Spelunk: Them rocks have sealed off the only way out!

[Sonic and Tails walk up to Spelunk.]

Sonic: What? You don't think I can handle a few tons of rock, a limited air supply, and your bad attitude? Why, I'll have us out of this hole faster than you can say, "I'm a Grumpy Old Miser"!

[Sonic spins towards the boulders.]

Spelunk: I ain't going!

[Spelunk picks up another bag of his treasure with his left hand.]

Spelunk: This is mine, all mine! I can't leave my treasure!

[Sonic stops spinning just as he gets to the boulders and turns around to face Spelunk.]

Sonic: Well, it's gonna be buried treasure in a second! Let's go!
Spelunk: I'm not leaving em'! These are my only friends!

[A giant boulder from above splits in half and falls towards Spelunk. Sonic looks up and realizes a piece of the boulder is about to flatten Spelunk.]

Sonic: Oh, no!

[Sonic runs toward Spelunk and pushes him out of the way just in time to avoid getting flattened. He is now carrying Spelunk in his arms.]

Sonic: You've got new friends!

[A tear forms in Spelunk's left eye and rolls down it.]

Spelunk: Why, why, you risked your own life to save mine? No one's ever done anything like that for me!
Sonic: Relax, Pops! That's what freedom fighters do!

[Sonic turns his head to Tails and winks his left eye at him. Tails then holds up his left thumb. Sonic sets Spelunk down, then holds his arms out like stop signs.]

Sonic: Oh, enough mush! Gonna need your help to stop that robo-nerd from doing any more damage around here!
Spelunk: So, what are we waiting for?

[Sonic spins through the boulders blocking the exit.]

Tails: Yeah!

[Spelunk gasps. Sonic then peers out from the hole in the boulders.]

Sonic: I'm waiting!

[Sonic runs back through the hole. Tails and Spelunk then run through the hole just in time, as the rest of the boulders fall into the pit, burying it completely. Sonic then looks at three caves, trying to determine which one leads out.]

Sonic: Which way, Spelunk?
Spelunk: It don't matter; I booby-trapped all of em'!

[Sonic, Tails, and Spelunk then walk towards one of the caves, only to find out it has spiked balls on ropes swinging about.]

Sonic: Gee, most people would have been satisfied with a dead bolt and a chain!
Spelunk: A person'd need to be faster than a Mobius mosquito to get through there!
Sonic: Who do you think taught those bugs how to boogie in the first place? Nice sweater. Wool?

[Spelunk grabs the collar of his shirt with both his hands.]

Spelunk: Uh-uh, diamondius threads! I made em' myself.

[Sonic snaps his left thumb and index finger.]

Sonic: Diamondius! Spelunk, give it to me!
Spelunk: Give it to you?

[Sonic crosses his arms and taps his left foot.]

Sonic: I'm waiting!
Spelunk: Ah, okay. I guess you can have it!

[Sonic grabs a loose thread on Spelunk's shirt with his right hand. He pulls on it, and while he forms a ball of thread with it, Spelunk's shirt and pants unravel, revealing Spelunk to be wearing red full-body underwear underneath it. Spelunk looks down and gasps as this happens. Eventually, Sonic forms a ball of thread, which he now holds in his left hand.]

Sonic: Thanks, Spelunk!

[Spelunk looks down, then back at Sonic.]

Spelunk: Huh?
Sonic: Hang on!

[Spelunk grabs the end of the thread ball as Sonic runs in place. Sonic then runs in between the spiked balls, and when he reaches the other side of the cave, he pulls on the thread.]

Sonic: Ugh!

[The strength of the thread stops the spiked balls from swinging. Sonic is now holding the thread in his left hand as he calls out to Tails and Spelunk with his right.]

Sonic: This way to the races, aces!
Spelunk: All right!
Tails Okay!

[Spelunk lets go of the thread as Tails runs in place. Tails and Spelunk now run alongside the stopped spiked balls.]

Spelunk: Hee hee! Hoo hoo hoo! Ha ha!
Sonic: Just a sec!

[Sonic reaches behind his back and pulls out a pair of pink knitting needles; one for each hand. Tails and Spelunk watch as Sonic uses the knitting needles to sew Spelunk's shirt back together. He then hands it to Spelunk, who holds it in both his hands.]

Spelunk: Wow! Thanks!
Sonic: Hey, you give a little, you get a little!

[Meanwhile, Scratch is holding a bag filled with Spelunk's treasure as Grounder, who having turned his right drill into a shovel, is using it to scoop the treasure into the bag.]

Scratch and Grounder [singing] We're rich! We're rich! We're very, very rich! We're rich! We're rich!
Robotnik [heard offscreen] Who's rich?

[Scratch and Grounder turn to face Robotnik, who is floating above them in his Egg-O-Matic.]

Scratch and Grounder: You're rich, Dr. Robotnik, you!
Robotnik: Good! Now start loading my treasure!

[A conveyor belt emerges from the front of the Egg-O-Matic, and Scratch and Grounder pick up the bags of Spelunk's treasure with both their hands and load it onto the conveyor belt.]

Scratch: Ah!
Grounder: Ugh!

[Sonic, Tails, and Spelunk watch from behind piles of Spelunk's treasure in the distance.]

Spelunk: Why, those robo-rapscallions! Those lootin' lunatics! We gotta stop em!
Sonic: Now you're catching on, Pops!

[Sonic, Tails, and Spelunk all hold their left hands up to their faces as they whisper to each other. They then nod their heads, "Yes" in unison and walk away. In the next scene, Spelunk is holding a piece of sulfurius in his right hand, and peeling it with a knife he is holding in his left. Tails is standing next to him.]

Spelunk: Bet you never seen sulfurius in it's natural state afore!
Tails: Sulfurius? What's sulfurius?
Spelunk: Don't know exactly, but it works just like gunpowder!
Tails: Cool!

[Meanwhile, Scratch and Grounder are still loading bags of Spelunk's treasure onto the conveyor belt.]

Grounder: Ugh!
Sonic [heard offscreen]: Ahem.
Scratch: [screams]

[Scratch and Grounder stare in shock when they hear Sonic.]

Sonic Yoo-hoo, excuse me.

[Sonic, who is disguised as an accountant, is standing next to Scratch, who turns to face him.]

Scratch: What do you want?

[Sonic pulls out a clipboard, which he is holding in his right hand.]

Sonic: Ah, afternoon, gentlemen.

[Sonic pulls back a piece of paper on the clipboard with his left hand.]

Sonic: I see you're enjoying a profit windfall this season, is that right?
Scratch: What's it to you?

[Sonic holds the paper up to Scratch's face with his left hand.]

Scratch: [yelps]
Sonic: Agent 99.9 of the Infernal Revenue Service.

[Sonic pulls the paper away and looks at the clipboard.]

Sonic: I see you haven't filed or declared. Hmm. Tsk tsk tsk. You haven't deducted your Y-O-Us, your A-R-Es, or your S-O-Stroke-S-T-U-P-I-Ds!
Grounder: Oh, is that bad?

[Meanwhile, Robotnik has fallen asleep in his Egg-O-Matic, and is snoring. As Sonic talks to scratch and Grounder, Spelunk and Tails hide behind a pile of Spelunk's treasure and sneak past them.]

Sonic: Oh, I should say so! Why, if you don't atomize, categorize, or fall-for-this-ize, you might be forced to work for a living!

[Spelunk and Tails sneak up to the conveyor belt as Sonic pulls out a calculator, which he is now holding in his right hand.]

Sonic: Let's crunch some numbers, shall we?

[Sonic presses the buttons on the calculator with his left index finger, creating a long stream of paper from the roll above it, wrapping Scratch and Grounder in it. He then walks past them, holding the other end of the paper in his right hand, and a stapler in his left.]

Sonic: Ooh, I'm sorry, boys, but I'm gonna have to write you up for this!

Sonic stapes the paper to the conveyor belt, causing Scratch and Grounder to travel up it. Scratch and Grounder scream as they are carried up the conveyor belt, and Spelunk, who is holding the bag of sulfurius shreds in his right hand, pours them onto the conveyor belt. He then pulls out a lit match, which he is holding in his right hand, and uses it to light the sulfurius shreds.]

Scratch and Grounder [heard offscreen]: Hey, watch out!
Scratch: Yeow-how-how!

[Scratch and Grounder reach the top of the conveyor belt, where Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic is. Robotnik stares at them in shock]

Robotnik: No! D'ah, what's the meaning of this?!

[Robotnik growls unintelligibly as Sonic jumps up to the back of the Egg-O-Matic. He opens the back door with both his hands, then pulls out the bags of Spelunk's treasure and tosses them one by one, until Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic doesn't have any in it. Sonic then dusts his hands off, then runs back into the pit, where Spelunk and Tails are. The lit sulfurius shreds travel up to the conveyor belt, as Robotnik,Scratch and Grounder stare in shock.]

Grounder: Huh?
Scratch: [screams]
Robotnik: No!

[The sulfurius explodes, and Sonic, Tails, and Spelunk flinch as Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder scream and fly into the air.]

Spelunk: Good riddance to bad eggs! I never met such unpleasant, rotten, miserly, selfish jerks in my life!

[Sonic and Tails look at Spelunk sternly. Sonic taps his left foot, and Tails taps his right.]

Sonic and Tails: We have!
Sonic: But he got better.

[Spelunk puts his right arm around Sonic, and his left around Tails.]

Spelunk: Thanks, pals!
Sonic: Sorry you lost your caverns.
Spelunk: Ah, don't worry about that none. I got a lot of travelling to do! Gonna go help folks, like you helped me!
Sonic: It could get expensive.
Spelunk: No problem! I got plenty to spare!

[Spelunk, Sonic, and Tails walk out of the pit as the sun begins to set.]

Spelunk: Chili dogs are on me! I mean... [panting] I can't thank you enough for showing me the error of my ways! I'm just so grateful, I could...
Sonic: Easy, Spelunk! You're not gonna get all sappy sentimental on me now, and start gushing, are you?

[Spelunk turns to some of the geysers.]

Spelunk: Ha! No! I'll leave the gushing to those geyser jockeys, ore yonder!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder scream as they get pushed up by the geysers. The screen then irises out on Robotnik, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[Tails and Spelunk are seated on a bench under a tree. Tails is going through his lunchbox, and Spelunk is holding a bowl of chili in both his hands. Tails pulls out a hot dog.]

Spelunk: Hey, Tails. Got an extra dog?

[As Tails talks to spelunk, he pulls out a bib and ties it around his neck with both his hands.]

Tails: Sorry, this is all I got. Got some extra chili?
Spelunk: Sorry, kid. This here's all I got.

[Sonic runs up to Tails and Spelunk.]

Sonic: Hey, if we share, why we can turn those plain old hot dogs into three mouth-watering, taste bud-tantellizing chili dogs!

[Tails and Spelunk look at each other and nod their heads, "Yes" in unison. Sonic spins around Tails and Spelunk, and when he stops spinning, he, Tails, and Spelunk are each holding a chili dog in their left hands. Tails and Spelunk much on their chili dogs as Sonic turns to the viewers.]

Sonic: See, guys, when you share, everybody's happy!

[Sonic winks his left eye at the viewers.]

Transcripts

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