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Sticks and Amy's Excellent Staycation/Transcript

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This is a transcript from the Sonic Boom episode, "Sticks and Amy's Excellent Staycation".

[Scene: Tails Workshop, exterior, day.]

Amy: With the guys out of town on their Dude-itude concert, we can finally have some quality girl time. See a movie, go to the club--
Sticks: Sharpen our bayonets, oil our bayonets, polish our bayonets..
Amy: Sticks, we don't have bayonets.
Sticks: Oh yeah. Buy bayonets!
Amy: Why do we need bayonets?
Sticks: Our team is going to be weakened by three, and Eggman's still out there. We have to be prepared!
[Knuckles closes the back door of the Dude-Mobile, and climbs in. Tails closes the door.]
Amy: Have fun on your trip, guys! Don't do anything I wouldn't do!
Sonic: I thought you said to "have fun."
[Amy growls. Tails starts up the Dude-Mobile and the boys drive off.]
Sticks: So, who's got first guard duty shift?
Amy: We don't need guard duty, Sticks. What we need is a plan to keep Eggman at bay.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, field, day.]

[Amy finishes hammering a Sonic doll to a post.]
Amy: Lucky for us, I just happen to own this homemade Sonic doll. Which I keep around for totally legitimate, definitely non-creepy reasons.
[Amy chuckles nervously, then pulls the ladder away. In the background, Eggman is seen walking by, whistling. Sticks and Amy notice him, and dive behind a bush, causing a cat to yowl. Eggman stops whistling when he sees the Sonic doll.]
Eggman: Oh? Well, if it isn't Sonic! [The doll, of course, says nothing] What's with the smug grin? You got beef, hedgehog? Then why don't you bring it to my grill? [More silence from the doll] Yeah, that's what I thought. You don't want none of this, nuh-uh. [More silence] Yeah, giving me the cold shoulder, huh? You just started a war, you blue pincushion!
Amy: That should keep him occupied for a while. So, how do you want to kick off our girl's weekend?

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, forest, day.]

[Three metal cans are sitting on a stump. A clump of mud hits one of them and knocks it off.]
Sticks: Mud clump hurling! [hits another can with a clump of mud]
Amy: Can't we do something a little less... how do I put this gently... repugnant, uncouth, and boorish?
Sticks: At least give it a try.
[Amy sighs and scoops up a clump of mud. As she lifts her arm to throw it, some of the mud splatters on her dress. She shrieks and drops the mud.]
Amy: Sorry, Sticks, but dirt throwing isn't my cup of tea. Thankfully, I know something that is my cup of tea...

[Scene Change: Amy's House, interior, day]

[Amy and Sticks are holding cups of tea on saucers.]
Amy: A cup of tea!
Sticks: Why did you just say that?
Amy: Remember before when I said, "I know something that is my cup of tea"? I was just finishing the thought.
Sticks: But you said that like an hour ago.
Amy: Yeah, but imagine if you were an outside observer just watching pieces of the conversation.
Sticks: You see them too?!
[Sticks glares at the "camera" as a musical sting plays.]
Amy: Let's just get back to knitting.
[Amy has a long, neat pink scarf knitted. Stick's knitting is a tangled, clumpy mess.]
Amy: Definitely seeing some improvement, but remember you always want to knit the first row, then change to a ribbing pattern.
Sticks: Sorry, but this nursing home activity stuff just ain't my bag.
Amy: I think I have an idea that will satisfy both of us.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]

[The camera pans down to reveal a day spa. Inside, Rabbit Girl is using a compress to apply makeup to her cheeks. Behind her, Amy is sitting, soaking her feet in a tub of hot water.]
Amy: [lets out a relaxed sigh] How ya doin' over there, Sticks?
[Sticks in soaking in a tub of mud.]
Sticks: So lemme get this straight. If I roll around in mud in the jungle, I'm a savage, but if I pay forty bucks to soak in it here, I'm civilized?
Amy: Exactly!
Sticks: Works for me.
[Amy's Communicator beeps.]
Sonic: [over the communicator] Amy, please tell me you're having as miserable a time as I am.
Amy: Actually, Sticks and I are having a relaxing spa weekend. But come on. I'm sure your trip isn't that bad.
Old Timer: [over the communicator] Now over here is the official letter from the Book of Records, asking me to stop contacting them.
Amy: I stand corrected. Well, have fun on your vacation. Take lots of pictures.
Old Monkey: [over the communicator] No pictures!
[Amy goes back to relaxing. In the background, Belinda looks up from her magazine.]
Belinda: Sonic is out of town?

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, field, day]

[Eggman is behind a bush, watching the Sonic doll through binoculars.]
Eggman: [mimicking a bird call] Ca-caw! Ca-caw! [Nothing happens. Eggman clears his throat] I said, [mimicking again] Ca-caw! Ca-caw!
[Cubot pops out from behind a bush, wearing a mask with Tails' face crudely drawn on it.]
Cubot: Hey Sonic! It's me, your best friend with the two tails? [to himself] Oh, what's his name? [Out loud] Check out these fly dance moves!
[Cubot starts dancing. Eggman looks annoyed.]
Eggman: He had two hours to think of a distraction and that's what he came up with?
[Eggman sneaks closer while Cubot keeps dancing and hides behind a tree.]
Eggman: Okay, Orbot, your turn.
[Eggman makes another call. Orbot comes out from behind a rock, wearing a mask like Cubot's.]
Orbot: Sonic! It is I, Tails! Watch me gambol!
[Orbot starts doing a body-slapping dance.]
Eggman: Oh, for the love of...!
[Eggman growls, but gets down and crawls closer to the Sonic doll while Orbot and Cubot continue their dancing. Eggman peeks out from behind the bush, chuckling evilly. A gust of wind suddenly causes the Sonic doll to turn around and face Eggman. Eggman screams and runs away.]

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, digsite, day]

[Charlie is busy unearthing an ancient relic. Belinda runs in.]
Belinda: Charlie! I just overheard that Sonic, Tails and Knuckles are out of town. The village is ours for the taking!
Charlie: As much as I'd love to unleash a reign of terror upon the village that will be remembered for a thousand generations, I really need to get back to my excavation.
Belinda: My mother was right about you. You don't have the fortitude to stand up to anybody.
Charlie: We'll see if she gets a holiday card this year.
Belinda: She will.
Charlie: [meekly] Yes, dear.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, field, day]

[Ride of the Valkyries plays as a bunch of Eggman's Robots are lined up across from the Sonic doll.]
Eggman: Time for the final showdown! Charge!
[Eggman's robots go on the attack. Eggman laughs evilly. The Mantis Bots fire their claws at the doll, but they bounce harmlessly back. Decimator Bot fires a barrage of missiles which zero in on the doll and explode. When the smoke clears, the post is empty.]
Eggman: This is the greatest day of my life! Oh, wait. I prepared something for this. [pulls a piece of paper out of his pocket, blows dust off of it, and clears his throat] "When Sonic and I first locked eyes so many years ago, it was hate at first sight. And now I stand here, my head full of hair..." Whoa. How long ago did I write this?
Cubot: [pulls on Eggman's jacket] Boss?
[Cubot points at the remains of the Sonic doll]
Eggman: That's not Sonic. [gasps] It's all been a brilliant, elaborate ruse!
Orbot: "Brilliant" might be a little generous, don't you think?
Eggman: That sneaky trickster is gonna pay for his labyrinthine web of lies.

[Scene Change: VIllage Center, day]

[Inside the spa, Amy is getting a back massage. She lets out a relaxed sigh. Sticks is still soaking in the mud, with cucumber over her eyes. She pulls the cucumber rings off her eyes and eats them. There's suddenly an explosion from outside.]
Eggman: Sonic! Come on out, you conniving charlatan!
[Amy and Sticks rise from their activities. Amy rebuttons her dress. Sticks shakes off some mud, getting it on Amy.]
Amy: Oh, come on! I just got my fur done.
[Amy and Sticks run outside. They see Eggman angrily flip a table, then kick over some pots.]
Sticks: Looks like your little decoy plan may have backfired.
Eggman: Your decoy plan?
Amy: Sticks and I set up a fake Sonic to distract you while the guys are out of town. We wanted a weekend to ourselves. I'm sure you understand.
Eggman: I understand. I understand how pulverized you're gonna be! Robots, attack!
[A group of Motobugs roll up, joined by some Mantis Bots. Amy runs forward and smashes a charging Motobug with her hammer. Sticks runs forward. One of the Mantis Bots jumps up, and Sticks jumps up as well. Sticks evades an attack from the Mantis Bot, lands on its back, punches it in the back of its head a few times, then kicks its head off. Sticks is then rammed by a Motobug and sent flying back into the spa.]
Bunny Girl: [talking to Lady Walrus] How about we try some press-on nails? You'll find they really draw attention away from your... ehm... everything else?
[Sticks grabs a handful of the nails and flings them at Eggman. Eggman lets out a yell, then does a Matrix-style slow motion dodge to avoid them. They hit the Mantis Bots behind him instead, which explode. Eggman, who is still bent over backwards, is forced to stand up again as his back cracks.]
Amy: Toss me one of those fur extensions!
[Sticks grabs one and tosses it to Amy. Amy uses it like a whip, wrapping it around one of the Motobugs and swings it into the others, causing them to explode. Sticks grabs a bottle of shampoo and throws it. Amy catches it in her whip, then flings some of the shampoo at Eggman. It hits his mustache.]
Eggman: Is this one of those all-in-one shampoo/conditioners? That's gonna dry out my stache!
[Eggman's stache suddenly fluffs out. Eggman looks annoyed, but runs away. The villagers cheer. sticks and Amy give each other a high-five. Metallic foodprints are suddenly heard approaching, and a shadow falls over Amy.]
Amy: Back for more, Egghead?
[Amy turns around, but is shocked to find that it's not Eggman, but Belinda in Charlie's mech suit.]
Belinda: It is I, Belinda!
[Belinda uses the mech suit arm to smack Sticks and Amy away. They land on their feet, but have to jump to the side to avoid fireballs.]
Belinda: I've stood on the sidelines too long, watching that puddinghead Eggman and my inept husband fail time and time again. Now Mama B wants a piece of the action!
[Belinda fires another set of fireballs, knocking Amy back into a wall and Sticks into a building. Belinda then turns around to face the other villagers.]
Belinda: And don't think I forgot about you. Must you always be so snarky?
Male Fennec: I should be more like you: A maniac in a mech-suit firing lasers at everyone.
[Belinda blasts Male Fennec with a laser, freezing him in place.]
Sticks: What's the big idea?! He didn't do nothing!
Fastidious: Actually, it's "he didn't do anything."
[Belinda zaps Fastidious, freezing him as well.]
Belinda: I know I can't be the only one who's sick of him. [turns her attention to Lady Goat] And you. I just don't like the look of you!
[Belinda zaps Lady Goat, freezing her as well. She then starts firing fireballs at random, sending the villagers running. Amy and Sticks manage to avoid another blast. Amy's communicator suddenly beeps.]

[Scene Change: Prison, interior, day]

Sonic: [on a phone] Amy, no time to explain. Tails, Knuckles, and I are in jail. We need you to bail us out!

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Amy and Sticks dodge more of Belinda's fireballs.]
Amy: Sonic, I am really not in the mood for your practical jokes right now! [ducks under another fireball] Sticks and I have got our hands full! We'll talk later.
[Amy turns off the communicator. Sticks jumps onto Belinda's mechsuit, throwing her off balance for a bit. She manages to grab Sticks and fling her away. Amy pulls out her hammer and swings at the mechsuit's leg, only for it to clang harmlessly, leaving Amy vibrating in the air. Belinda kicks her away.]
Amy: This isn't working. We need to try something different!
[Amy notices some mud next to her, and scoops up a handdful]
Amy: Mud clump hurling!
[Amy throws the mud clump at Belinda, catching her right in the face.]
Belinda: There's mud all over me! That I didn't pay forty bucks for! What am I, a savage?
[Another mud clump hits her. Amy then throw another. Sticks runs over to the frozen Male Fennec.]
Sticks: I got an idea. But I need to borrow a few things from your store. If you've got a problem with that, gimme a sign. [Male Fennec, obviously, does nothing.] Great! Thanks. [runs into the store, then comes out with a knitting kit] Finish the first row, then switch to a ribbing pattern.
[Sticks knits a long band of fabric, which she sets up as a tripwire. Amy drives Belinda towards it with another mud clump. The mechsuit's leg hits the fabric, throwing Belinda off balance. Amy pulls her hammer out and smacks the mechsuit, sending it flying to crash through a table and start sparking. The disabling of the mech suit frees the villagers from the freeze ray, and they cheer. Sticks and Amy nod at each other, then jump on the other side of the table Belinda crashed through, catapaulting her away.]
Amy and Sticks: Best Girl's Weekend ever! [They high-five, giggle, and pose.]

[Scene Change: Charlie and Belinda's house, night]

Belinda: What did I do wrong? I was ruthless, cunning, merciless... I'm just glad I can go home and take it out on my husband.
[Belinda opens the door to her house.]
Charlie: Surprise! I know you're angry with me about not fighting those heroes for you, but I had a good reason. I was excavating... your anniversary gift!
[Charlie directs Belinda's attention to a present on the floor. She opens it, then gasps with delight, pulling out a ancient mechanical wingsuit.]
Charlie: If I know anything about women, it's that every gal loves to get a new outfit. That gives her the ability to fly and shoot deadly blasts from mid-air.
Belinda: [hugs Charlie] It's perfect!

[Scene Change: Village Center, night]

Sticks: This whole time, I thought Eggman was gonna be our number one problem. But it turned out to be Belinda.
Amy: You never know what to expect around here.
[They spot Eggman walking by with the Sonic doll from before, now fixed up.]
Eggman: Uh? Don't mind me! Just taking this back to my lair for, uh, research!
[Eggman chuckles nervously, then walks off, Sticks and Amy watching him in confusion.]

[Scene Change: Charlie and Belinda's house, night]

[Charlie is standing in his mech suit. Belinda is testing the new wingsuit. She fires a blast, then lands on the ground.]
Belinda: Looks like Hedgehog Village just got its new power couple.
Charlie: Happy Anniversary, honeybunny.