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Spacemageddonocalypse (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Spacemageddonocalypse."

[Scene: Space]

[Orbot and Cubot are in Space, Orbot is seen trying to fix one of the satellites. ]
Eggman: What's taking you so long? I'm getting bored.
Orbot: Okay, we're-
[Orbot gets hit by some debris, causing him to hit Cubot and both bounce around in space.]
Eggman: I know what to do.
[Eggman starts playing a video game. The screen shows him shooting some debris. He then sees a huge asteroid.]
Eggman: That thing's huge! Did I just level up?
Computer: Large asteroid headed for home planet. [alarm sounds]
[Eggman presses a button on the control panel, making the Egg Rocket fly back to Earth. Orbot and Cubot are dragged along. The camera zooms out, revealing a large part of the asteroid.]

[Scene change: Seaside Island jungle, day]

Eggman: As usual I'm prepared. I have a secret underground bunker.
Orbot: Why didn't we know about it?
Eggman: Because it's not a famous underground bunker. It can withstand anything. Zombie apocalypse, misguided people handing out pamphlets, a robot uprising.
[Orbot and Cubot look at each other. Dr. Eggman opens the bunker]
Eggman: It's just as I left it, prestige and untouched by anyone.
[Dr. Eggman turns on the lights to see the mess inside the bunker.]
Cubot: Come to think about it, maybe I did know about it.
Eggman: Clean this place up. Restart the rations and get that mustache off my mustache.
[Camera zooms to a picture of Eggman, his face is covered with marker.]
Eggman: I have a plan.

[Scene change: Village Center, day]

Eggman: Our planet is about to be hit by a giant asteroid. Come with me if you want to pay![Orbot puts his hand to his mouth.] I
Sonic: [sarcastically] Really? That we're about to be obliterated by a giant asteroid scheme?
Eggman: This asteroid is real! Which, I'll admit takes some joy out of a scheme. But, you gotta dance with the girl what brung you.
[Villagers laugh]
Eggman: Go on, laugh! But you won't be laughing when you're crushed by a giant meteor. That's only funny when it happens to someone else! Comedy 101 people!

[Scene change: Outside Tails' Workshop, day]

Tails: I can spot anything coming at us with my "Tail-escope"!
Sonic: Uh, how is a "Tail-escope" different from a telescope?
Tails: [sadly] It's not.
[Tails looks through his "Tail-escope". A giant asteroid in outer space appears]
Tails: A giant asteroid coming to destroy us!
Sticks: This is just an alien invasion coverup! I hope it's the aliens who help us build stuff. Not the ones who eat us.

[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]

Tails: If my calculations are correct, the asteroid is on the direct course for this planet.
[Tails displays a chart with drawings of planets]
Mayor Fink: Oh, asteroids fly by all the time. What are the chances it will actually hit us?
Tails: One hundred percent.
Mayor Fink: I can live with those odds.
Tails: I think the best move would be to deflect the meteor--
Eggman: --So is it a meteor or an asteroid?
Mayor Fink: That's a good question.
Sonic: No it's not! He's just trying to distract us so he can sell spots in his bunker.
Tails: Our best bet is to blow up the asteroid and send it off its current course.
Eggman: Or, we could let it hit us! And by us, I mean anyone who hasn't paid to live in my bunker.
Professor Cluckins: I suggest we have everyone jump at the same time and throw our planet off its orbit.
Sonic: I'm thinking Tails should figure this out by himself.
Mayor Fink: In the meantime, I'm going to hide in Eggman's secret bunker.
Professor Cluckins: I was just going to suggest that myself.
[Mayor Fink and Professor Cluckins run out.]

[Scene change: Seaside Island jungle, day]

[There is a small crowd near Eggman's bunker.]
Eggman: [excitedly] I'm gonna be rich!
Orbot: You know, money will be useless if there's no civilization.
Eggman: I'm now basing my decision on who's most bunker worthy. Each of you must write a one-page essay on why you deserve to be saved.
Dave the Intern: [raises hand] Can it be double-spaced?

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop, day]

[Tails is sitting on his desk pondering of the situation, while Sonic paces around.]
Tails: It's no use. I can't figure this out.
[Sonic walks by a mirror, and starts admiring himself]
Tails: [watches this] Wait a minute...
Sonic: Just because it's the end of the world doesn't mean I shouldn't look my best.
Tails: That's it! [runs to the whiteboard and starts writing] We can use mirrors to aim solar rays at the asteroid! The heat imbalance will bump it off course! We just need lots of mirrors.

[Scene change: Outside Sticks' Burrow, day]

[Sonic, Tails, and Amy are tossing mirrors onto a pile. Sticks walks with one, looking at her reflection.]
Sticks: This is either a mirror, or the portal to a parallel universe where my evil twin is trapped! Begone, evil Sticks! [Sticks pushes the mirror to Sonic.]

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[The sun is shining bright. Camera shifts to show Team Sonic with a laser device. Sonic looks with the "Tail-escope", while Tails climbs up to the device.]
Tails: Ready, aim, FIRE! [moves the joystick and presses a button.]
[One of the mirrors projects a yellow light, which soon reflects other mirrors, creating a thin yellow laser that heads to space towards the meteor, but it hits several debris before going out of target.]
Tails: [looks through his "Tail-escope" and sighs] There's too much space debris between us and the meteor! I can't shoot it from here.
[Cut to Amy, who is typing something as Sticks is watching.]
Amy: Is there a hyphen in "bunkerworthy"?

[Scene change: Eggman's Bunker, day.]

[Eggman is reading through several essays.]
Eggman: [annoyed] These essays are awful! Looks like my evil scheme to underpay teachers came back to bite me. Cubot, go and have them draw straws.
[Cubot zooms off while Eggman paces inside for a while.]
Eggman: Maybe I should pick someone I hate! With Sonic gone, I'll need a new nemesis.
[Cubot quickly returns with several pictures of straws. He shows each picture with a grin.]
Cubot: I like the bendy one.

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Team Sonic is standing outside Tails' Workshop, thinking of their next plan.]
Tails: Our only choice is to shoot it from space.
Amy: We'll have to borrow Eggman's rocket.
Tails: He'll never let us use it! He wants the asteroid to hit.
Sonic: Unless...

[Scene change: Seaside Island jungle,day.]

[There is a crowd outside Eggman's bunker. The Egg Rocket and Obliterator Bot are standing aside. Five people are chosen to go in the bunker. But the camera zooms on Lady Walrus, Admiral Beaverton, and Professor Cluckins. Screen cuts to Eggman giving a rose to Comedy Chimp.]
Comedy Chimp: Thank you.
Eggman: Congratulations! You're my five finalists. The rest of you go home to your doom.
[The crowd disperses in disappointment. However Sonic stops a Wolf Policeman and whispers something to him.]
[Cut to the Wolf Policeman, taking the Egg Rocket now on a wooden platform out of the jungle with a motorcycle. Eggman runs forward.]
Eggman: What's the meaning of this?!
Wolf Policeman: You have to follow alternate side of the street parking regulations even in the middle of the jungle!
[The Wolf Policeman slowly drives the Egg Rocket out of the jungle, while Eggman waits impatiently.]

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Outside the workshop, Knuckles is carefully placing a machine inside the Egg Rocket, with guidance from Sonic. The machine goes in, and the top part of the rocket closes.]
Sonic: [turns around] Okay, ground control, I'm ready for my mission.
[Cut to Sticks, Knuckles and Amy]
Amy: Um, Sonic, we think Knuckles should go.
Sonic: [disappointed] What? No way!
Tails: [enters holding Knuckles' spacesuit] He's the only one strong enough to lift the machine if something goes wrong.
Sonic: But how often do I get to literally save the world?
Knuckles: [pulls out a newspaper] According to the TV listings, about once a week.
Amy: Sacrificing your glory for the common good is also very heroic.
Sonic: Okay, then I guess Knuckles and I will both be heroes!
Knuckles: But I'M the hero going into space to save the day!
[Tails hands Knuckles his spacesuit.]
Tails: Knuckles, the Solar Convergence Device, or as I'd like to call it, the "Solar Convergence Device", has been loaded into the Egg Rocket. When it comes up alongside the asteroid, you'll have to activate the Solar Convergence Device.
Amy: Tails, we don't have a lot of time here. Can you shorten the name of that thing?
Tails: Fine. The SCD.
Knuckles: The what?
Tails: The SCD.
Knuckles: The what?
Tails: The SCD.
[A few minutes of confused silence from Knuckles. Cut to Tails.]
Tails: The Solar Convergence Device.
Knuckles: Oh, why didn't you say so?
Tails: You'll need to activate it. Then get away from the asteroid as quickly as possible.
Knuckles: Got it.
Tails: The first step is to set the calibration lever to 47 degrees.
Knuckles: [confused] What's the opposite of "got it"?
Tails: It's okay, [pulls out a paper] I wrote it down for you. [Camera zooms close to the paper, which is oddly blank.] With pictures.
[Knuckles takes the paper]
[A scene of Knuckles now in his spacesuit comes out of Tails' Workshop plays in slow motion. He has a serious look on his face. Cut to Amy.]
Amy: [concerned tone] Knuckles, the asteroid is about to crash into us. You need to hurry!
Knuckles: Oh sorry, I was trying to be dramatic. [walks faster]

[Scene Change: Space.]

[The Egg Rocket is seen flying beside the asteroid.]

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Sticks, Sonic, Tails and Amy wait inside the workshop and monitor events with Tails' computer. Tails communicates with Knuckles through his communicator.]
Tails: Knuckles, as you approach the asteroid, it's magnetic interference will disrupt radio communication.
Amy: Do you think he'll be able to do this?
Tails: As long as he has this list. [looks, then realises he has the ACTUAL one.] Uh oh, what did I give Knuckles?!

[Scene Change: Space]

[Inside the Egg Rocket, Knuckles is reading a shopping list.]
Knuckles: Milk, tomatoes, Tail Conditioner... these instructions are more complicated than I thought. I'll just have to wing it.
[Cut to the Egg Rocket landing roughly on the asteroid, while the Wilhelm Scream and animal noises are heard from a distance. The top of the rocket opens, revealing the SCD.]
[Knuckles presses the button two times. Some of the panels move, but Knuckles presses the button a few more times in annoyance.]
Knuckles: Grr! Gah! What are you-?!
[Suddenly, one solar panel shatters.]
Knuckles: Whoops! That's seven years bad luck. But who gets it, me, or the machine?
[Suddenly the SCD starts spinning rapidly.]
Knuckles: [gasps]
[The SCD stops spinning and breaks into pieces. Cut to Knuckles.]
Knuckles: Well that worked out well for me, 'cept that the asteroid is still headed for the planet and I'm all alone in space. Looks like I'm gonna have to do this the old fashioned way. Computer, open the doors!
Computer: I'm sorry Knuckles. I'm afraid I can't do that.
Knuckles: [takes off his seatbelt] Looks like I'm gonna have to do this the old fashion-er way! [floats towards the door]
[Music plays. Knuckles breaks the door open and climbs down to the asteroid.]
Knuckles: I'm sorry to do this to you asteroid, but I've got a lot of friends on that planet! [leaps]
[The scene is in slow motion, as Knuckles hits the asteroid with his ground pound. A shot of the asteroid is shown breaking into large pieces. Knuckles notices the asteroid cracking fast. He dodges some debris.]
[Knuckles tries to run back to the rocket, but he steps on a rock that throws him off course. Knuckles flies towards a piece of debris.]

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Sonic, Tails, and Amy are monitoring the progress.]
Tails: [looking at his communicator] Knuckles should've been back in radio range by now.
Sonic: [sadly] It should've been me...

[Scene Change: Space.]

[Meanwhile, Knuckles, is being pushed by the debris towards a satellite, which he hangs on to. Debris continues to fall.]

[Scene change: Tails' Workshop, day]

[Close shot of Tails contacting Knuckles.]
Tails: Knuckles, can you hear me?

[Scene Change: Space.]

[Knuckles balances himself on the satellite as the debris continues to fall.]
Knuckles: Yeeahh!!
[Knuckles then rides the satellite like a surfboard towards the Egg Rocket. A close shot of Knuckles as he looks carefully at the rocket. Before leaping off the satellite and just grabbing the hinges of the door, and stepping inside.]

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Inside, Sticks, Sonic, Tails, and Amy are looking concerned. Then his communicator lights up and Knuckles' voice is heard.]
Knuckles: Hey, Tails!
[The others are relieved.]
Tails: Knuckles! You made it! Did my Solar Convergence Device work?
Knuckles: It kinda broke,[close shot of Tails' communicator] but being a hero, I took care of the asteroid. [cut back to a shot of the group] Smashed it to bits!
Tails: [worried] Knuckles, all those pieces are gonna come crashing down on us!
Sonic: [cheering] YEAH! [raises fist]
[Sticks, Tails and Amy are surprised.]
Sonic:[corrects himself] I mean, oh, that's terrible.
[Sonic takes Amy's Hammer with a grin and speeds off to Meh Burger, the Village Center, the Mayor's Mansion, the jungle, and Sticks' Burrow to deflect all the pieces. Sonic returns to the Workshop.]
Tails: Eggman's rocket sent back some great pictures.
[Camera shows Tails' computer showing a picture of Knuckles into space.]
Tails: I can't believe Knuckles landed on the asteroid!
Sticks: Me neither, that was obviously shot on a sound stage.
Sonic: Knuckles might've gone to space but I kept thirty pieces of the asteroid from destroying us!
Tails: I counted thirty-one pieces.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island jungle, day.]

[Eggman tries to open the door a few times, but is unable to due to a piece of the asteroid in the way. He closes it.]
Eggman: [sighs] I call top bunk.