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This is a transcript for Sonic the Hedgehog.

Note: Lines edited out from Nickelodeon airings are in orange.

[The film opens up with the Paramount Pictures logo, with rings being in the place of the stars flying across the ocean and forming the iconic arch over the mountain. The SEGA logo then appears, showing multiple games made by the company, and the Original Film logo is presented on a red background in metallic blue text before fading out to black and fading into a new scene]

[Scene: San Francisco, day]

[The camera zooms in on the city and two blazing specks of light dash all over the place as one shoots lasers at the other. We then see an enemy aircraft flying throughout while it's chasing a blue hedgehog (Sonic), who is running from the pursuer. We see full closeups of Dr. Robotnik in his craft and Sonic as he runs. The scene freezes after an explosion with Sonic barely missing it]
Sonic (As narrator): So, I know what you're thinking. Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog being chased by a madman with a mustache from the Civil War?
[The scene unfreezes and Sonic continues running and dodging laser blasts from Dr. Robotnik]
Sonic: Well, to be honest, it feels like I've been running my whole life. Is this too much? Am I going too fast? It's kind of what I do. You know what? Let's back up.
[We see the whole chase going in reverse as well as frames of future clips for a split second each time one passes as Sonic mimics a rewind sound effect]

[Scene: Sonic's Island, day]

[Throughout the narration, we see various shots of Sonic zipping through the terrain and land of his island]
Sonic: This is the island where I'm from.
["Paramount Pictures Presents" appears in white letters and disappears]
Sonic: It had everything.
["In Association with Sega Sammy Group" appears in white letters and disappears]
Sonic: Sandy beaches, cascading waterfalls, public access to loop-de-loops. And I never had to catch a school bus because I could run across the entire island in less than two seconds.
["An Original Film Production" appears in white letters and we see a closeup of a younger-looking Sonic running across the terrain as the text disappears]
Sonic: Also, there was no school. I know, pretty sweet island, right?
[Young Sonic runs across a ramp and shoots up into the air]
Young Sonic: Yeah! [Young Sonic lands back on the ground and continues zipping through his island]
Sonic: I was born with extraordinary powers and was told to keep them secret.
["A Marza Animation Planet/Blur Studio Production" appears in white letters]
Sonic: And like any kid, I did the exact opposite.
[Young Sonic runs up some bridges to a small house. He curls into a ball, rolls into the house, jumps up, and playfully bumps Longclaw while she is sleeping, causing her to wake up]
Sonic: That's Longclaw. She took care of me. [Young Sonic lands on the ground, now out of ball form, and he is laughing happily] She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi, If Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice.
Longclaw: Sonic, someone could have seen you.
Young Sonic: No one saw me. I'm too fast! And, I wanted to bring you this.
[Young Sonic pulls out a flower he picked from the outside, which makes Longclaw happy. However, Longclaw notices a tribe of Echidnas in the trees, aiming their weapons at the duo. She then shuts the door and grabs Sonic to protect him]
Longclaw: Get down!
[The Echidnas fire their arrows from their bows and they hit almost every corner of Longclaw's house, with one arrow breaking the window, barely missing Longclaw, and passing through Sonic's flower, pinning it to the wood floor]
Sonic: Turns out, with great power comes great power-hungry bad guys. And I led them right to us.
[The Echidnas climb through the windows and prepare to attack, but Sonic and Longclaw escape through the back window as the Echidnas continue firing arrows at them. Eventually, Pachacamac fires his arrow and it strikes Longclaw, knocking her and Sonic out of the sky and sending them plummeting to the ground. A wounded Longclaw gets up and puts a very concerned Sonic on his feet and he looks up at her]
Longclaw: Listen carefully, Sonic. You have a power unlike anything I have ever seen, and that means someone will always want it. The only way to stay safe is to stay hidden.
[Longclaw takes a ring from her satchel and tosses it, which opens a portal to a forest on another planet at night]
Longclaw: This world is on the far side of the universe. You should be safe there.
Young Sonic: I don't want to go without you!
Longclaw: You must. [Hands Sonic her satchel of Rings] These Rings will be your most important possession.
[Longclaw gasps as she hears the Echidna tribe getting closer, then she looks back down at Sonic]
Longclaw: If you're ever discovered, use one. [Gently pushes Sonic closer to the portal with her wing] Never stop running. Now, go!
[Sonic runs through the portal and looks back, horrified, as Longclaw prepares for attack]
Young Sonic: Longclaw!
[He starts running back, Longclaw looks back at Sonic one last time as the Echidnas get even closer]
Longclaw: Goodbye, Sonic.
Young Sonic: No!
[Before Sonic can get back to Longclaw, the portal disappears in slow-motion]
Young Sonic: No!!
[Sonic now realizes that he is by himself and must do what Longclaw instructed. The Sonic The Hedgehog main logo for the film appears, reading out Sonic in bright blue lining and The Hedgehog in a red square underneath and the scene changes]

[Scene: Green Hills, Montana, 10 years later, day]

[Behind a welcome sign, we see a Green Hills Sheriff's Department Ford Crown Victoria Police Interceptor patrol car sitting idly by the road and a police officer named Tom Wachowski is holding a speed velocity gun, trying to find speeding drivers passing by his speed trap, but none are in sight]
Tom: Come on, one car?
[Tom shakes his hand a little from holding the radar gun for too long, and he starts messing around after boredom kicks in, acting like he's actually trying to catch speeding drivers, only to accidentally whack the side of his face the radar gun. Finally, Tom puts it aside]
Tom: I'm bored.
[Suddenly, Tom hears his radio and his deputy Wade Whipple is on the other end]
Wade: (Over radio) Tom, do you read me? Are you there?
Tom: [Grabs the microphone and answers back in a joking manner] No, Wade, I'm actually on a yacht in Barbados. [Slight pause] With Rihanna.

[Scene Change: Police Station, day]

[We see Wade at the police station]
Wade: O-M-G. [Clears throat] That's amazing. Please send pics.

[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, speed trap, day]

Tom: No, Wade. I'm at the speed trap.
Wade: (Over radio) Already? How did you get back so fast? Barbados is in the ocean!
Tom: Hang on, I think I got something.
[Tom takes his radar gun and aims it at a slow-moving turtle, and the device beeps and shows the target speed of the turtle is 001]
Tom: Hey, buddy! Where's the fire? Got kids living around here!
[The turtle doesn't take much notice as it continues strolling along the road. Tom smiles]
Tom: I thought it was kinda funny. Sorry.
[Tom takes his sunglasses off just as a speeding blue speck of light passes his patrol car and his radar gun beeps, indicating that the target speed is now 296]
Tom: What?
[Tom checks the radar gun and the road in front of him, only to see nothing, and the blue speck of light speeds by again, setting off Tom's radar gun and showing him the target speed of 300 this time. As Tom fidgets with the radar gun, he doesn't notice a playful Sonic, now a teenager, making gestures behind the patrol car. Tom departs his vehicle and walks along the road, pondering the situation, He then walks over to the grass, noticing something blue. He kneels down, picks it up and inspects it. We later learn that it is actually one of Sonic's quills. Then, Tom hears Wade on the radio, sounding serious]
Wade: (over radio) Tom, we need you down on Main Street. There's been a violent gang shoot-out.
[As Tom leaves in his patrol car, with his red and blue emergency lights blazing, Wade laughs]
Wade: Just kidding. A duck stole a bagel. But they do need it back.
[The turtle from earlier is seen still slowly strolling across the road and doesn't seem to notice an oncoming truck approaching. Just then, a blue speck of light speeds past and the turtle is now gone. We see that it was actually Sonic and that he saved the turtle]
Sonic: Whoa, buddy! You almost got yourself killed out there. What are you, some kind of adrenaline junkie? [Gently pats the turtle's head with his finger] It must be rough being slow all the time. Tell you what. Today is your lucky day.
["Don't Stop Me Now" by Queen plays as Sonic runs at full speed down the road with the turtle in his hands, and the turtle looks like it is enjoying the ride]
Sonic: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Have you ever felt so alive?!
[Sonic does an airplane impression with the turtle in one hand]
Sonic: This is great! You're doing amazing!
[The turtle flies out of his hand]
Sonic: Oh, geez!
[Sonic runs to retrieve the turtle and runs back]
Sonic: Good recovery!
[Sonic speeds through the foothills]
Sonic: Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[Scene Change: Woods, day]

[Sonic sets the shaking turtle down on the ground after their run]
Sonic: Let's keep this our little secret, okay? You never saw me. [In a mysterious voice] I was never here.
["Don't Stop Me Now" continues as Sonic speeds through the woods and into his new home in the trunk of a tree and he's having a real blast, mimicking a singer, doing calisthenics, playing guitar, and jumping rope]
Sonic (narrating): So what were you expecting? [Swinging on a tire swing] A dirty little hedgehog eating berries and struggling to survive? Think again. [Reading comic books of The Flash] Because I am living my best life on Earth. I've got a library, [Running inside a dryer like a hamster on a wheel] a home gym, [Wearing a ninja headband and brandishes two pairs of nunchucks] and a state-of-the-art security system.
[Sonic waves the nunchucks around until he hits himself. He then plays ping-pong with himself, zipping between both sides of the table, and has fun until he hits Longclaw's Ring satchel, spilling several Rings as well as a piece of paper on the ground]
Sonic: Oh, no!
[Sonic gathers the Rings and puts them back and then takes a look at the paper, which is actually a map of planets]
Sonic (narrating): And if I'm ever discovered, I'll follow Longclaw's instructions and use my Rings to escape to a new planet.
[Sonic holds up a Ring to the map against Earth on the map. He then hovers it over another planet, represented by mushrooms.]
Sonic (narrating): A nice, safe world filled only with mushrooms.
[Sonic tosses the ring and it opens up a portal to the Mushroom Planet, where thousands of mushrooms large and small grow like forests]
Sonic (narrating): Gross, smelly mushrooms.
[Sonic now looks annoyed]
Sonic: I hate mushrooms.

[Scene Change: Foothills, day]

[Sonic reaches a ledge overlooking Green Hills and looks out at the beautiful landscape]
Sonic (narrating): But let's not worry about all that! This is Green Hills, the greatest place on Earth.
[Sonic speeds off to the city]
Sonic (narrating): These are my people, and, dare I say, I am their loveable space creature. [Stands on top of a building, watching everything] So what if they don't know I exist?
[We see Tom holding a donut]
Sonic (narrating): My favorite person is the Donut Lord, [Tom eats the donut] protector of this town and defender of all creatures, big and small.
[We see a family of ducks crossing the road and Tom is halting traffic in order to let the ducks cross and he also talks to them]
Tom: Morning! Donald, Daisy, Daffy.

[Scene Change: Wachowski residence]

[We then see Maddie Wachowski, Tom's wife, walking to her backyard with a laptop]
Sonic (narrating): Donut Lord lives with Pretzel Lady.
[We see that Maddie is practicing yoga]
Sonic (narrating): She is super nice to animals and strangely was born without bones.
[Sonic is watching from behind some bushes and trying to replicate Maddie's poses]
Sonic: Ouch, ouch, ouch.

[Scene Change: Restaurant, day]

[We see Crazy Carl, holding a crudely drawn picture of Sanic in front of some people and they are laughing hysterically]
Sonic (narrating): There is one person in town who's actually onto me. He calls me the Blue Devil!
Crazy Carl: [To Tom] I almost caught him last night.

[Scene Change: Forest, night]

[We see a flashback where Crazy Carl has traps set up all over the place]
Sonic (narrating): Say hello to Crazy Carl.
[Sonic zips by the traps, setting them off, and not one of them catches him. Crazy Carl grows frantic]
Sonic (narrating): We have fun together.
[Crazy Carl ends up getting caught in one of his own traps and is now hanging upside down from a tree]
Crazy Carl: I know you're out there! And I know you're real!
Sonic: [Faintly] No, I'm not!

[Scene: Wachowski residence interior, night]

[Tom and Maddie are sitting on the couch with their dog, Ozzie, eating popcorn and watching a movie]
Sonic (narrating): Movie night is my favorite.
[Sonic slowly rises from behind the window and has his fingers crossed and his eyes closed]
Sonic: Please, please, please, please.
[Sonic opens one eye and sees the movie's title, Speed, appear on the television]
Sonic: Yes! Keanu! You are a national treasure.
Jack on TV (Keanu Reeves): When I find you--
Howard Payne on TV (Dennis Hopper): Pop quiz, hotshot. There's a bomb on the bus.
Sonic: "Pop quiz, hotshot." [Makes a chef's kiss gesture] It's a classic line.
Sonic (narrating): Basically, we're like a family. Even though we haven't met yet.

[Scene Change: Psychiatrist's Office, day]

Sonic: [As a psychiatrist, speaking in a German accent, wearing glasses, and holding a clipboard and pencil] You don't zink your prolonged isolation is making you a bit crazy, perhaps? [Playing the role of a patient] Crazy? Me? No way, Doc. You got me all wrong. [Plays the role of the psychiatrist again] And despite all these so-called friends of yours, [Takes off the glasses] deep down, [In a normal voice] you're still rather lonely?

[Scene: Wachowski residence, night]

[As Sonic leaves for the night, he takes one last look through the window and smiles a little from seeing the Wachowskis enjoy their movie]
Sonic (narrating): Perhaps afraid you'll be alone forever?
[Sonic frowns and departs]

[Scene Change: Wachowski residence, night]

[Tom's truck pulls into the driveway and we see a couple of raccoons rummaging through the garbage bins and Tom honks his horn to try to get their attention]
Tom: Uh-uh! Hey! No, no. Get out of there. [Exits the truck, annoyed and agitated] Oh, come on! Get out of there!
[The raccoons leave the trash behind]
Tom: Get out of there, you trash pandas. [Walks in the door and closes it] Maddie, as Green Hill's most respected veterinarian, what is the fastest way to exterminate a raccoon?
[Tom sets his work bag up and Ozzie walks up to greet him]
Tom: Hi, Ozzie! Hello! You're glad to see me!
[As Tom pets Ozzie, Maddie walks in holding an envelope]
Tom: You don't eat garbage, do you? [Stands up after seeing Maddie with the envelope] What's that? Is that what I think it is?
Maddie: [Nods] Uh-huh. Open it.
Tom: [Walks to Maddie and takes the envelope, inspecting it] Oh, it's kind of small. Is that bad?
Maddie: Just… open it. [Smiles with excitement and anticipation]
[Tom opens the envelope and both he and Maddie walk to the kitchen counter and Tom takes a deep breath and he reads a letter from the envelope]
Tom: "Dear Thomas, we have reviewed your application to the San Francisco Police Department, and pending interdepartmental review and background check, we are happy to inform you that you have been selected to join our team."
Maddie: [ecstatic] Aah! Oh, my God!
Tom: Wow! Oh, my God!
[Maddie pulls out a pink box and sets it on the counter, and opens it to reveal a cake]
Maddie: Ta-dah.
Tom: [Looks at the cake and reads it] "San Francisco Sucks"?
[The cake shows a burning Golden Gate Bridge and blue letters reading "Forget Those Morons, San Francisco SUCKS!"]
Maddie: Oh!
[Maddie realizes her mistake and puts the cake away]
Maddie: Wrong one!
[Maddie pulls out a new box and opens it up to reveal another cake]
Maddie: Ta-dah! [she giggles]
[The new cake shows the words "CONGRATULATIONS" in red letters at the top, "I Never Had A Doubt!" in blue letters at the bottom and a decorative portrait of a police officer in the center]
Tom: You never had a doubt, huh?
Maddie: No! Mm-mmm.
[Tom and Maddie hug and kiss each other]
Tom: I can't believe this!
Maddie: Oh, I know! You did it!
[Tom notices Maddie's laptop open]
Tom: Hey, what are those?
Maddie: Apartments for rent I found on Zillow.
[Her laptop shows a listing for apartments on the website]
Maddie: I thought Ozzie and I could fly there tomorrow and check out some neighborhoods.
Tom: I mean, this is all happening so fast.
[Tom walks to the dining room and sits down at the table]
Maddie: Oh, man. It's the craziest thing. You apply for the job, you get the job.
[Maddie walks to the dining room and sits across from Tom]
Tom: Well, pending a background check.
Maddie: Oh, man. Hope they don't find out about that time you used the neighbor's Wi-Fi.
Tom: Correction: I'm still using the neighbor's Wi-Fi. But, Maddie, are you sure you're okay with this?
Maddie: Thomas Michael Wachowski, what did you do the entire time I was in veterinary school?
Tom: I worked a second job to pay the rent and--
Maddie: A third job to pay tuition. You sacrificed for me. I'm happy to sacrifice for you. [Both she and Tom smile] Babe, are you sure you're okay with this? I mean, there's been a Wachowski protecting this town for more than 50 years. This is a big change.
Tom: I'm positive. [Gets up from the table] It's time for this guy to get out there and prove himself. [Walks over to Maddie] I love Green Hills, but, you know, I want to help people in real trouble. I want someone to turn to me in a life-and-death situation and I'll be there for ‘em. [Nods]
Maddie: [nods] I get it. I'm so proud of you!
Tom: Thank you.
[Both Tom and Maddie hug]

[Scene Change: Road, day]

Tom: And so, it is with a heavy heart that I tell you all that I've accepted a position at the San Francisco Police Department, effective immediately. It's gonna be tough to leave my hometown and all my friendships. But this is something I feel like I need to do to grow... as both an officer and a man.
[It is revealed that Tom was practicing his departure speech and reciting it to his hood ornament, a pink frosted sprinkled donut wearing sunglasses and wire limbs attached. Its sprinkles form a "mustache"]
Tom: What do you think, Sergeant Sprinkles? That wasn't so bad, right? Now all I got to do is... tell everyone who isn't a donut.

[Scene Change: Baseball diamond, day]

[Sonic is peeking from behind a tree, watching a baseball game]
Sonic: Whoa, the playoffs!
[Sonic speeds over to the bleachers to watch the game up close and the players congratulating each other. Later on, everyone packs up and heads for home, leaving the baseball diamond completely empty. Sonic is now on the baseball diamond, admiring the beauty of it all]
Sonic: Whoa! So cool!
[Sonic spots some baseball equipment and he plays the role of a batter at home plate]
Sonic: Bottom of the 9th, tie score. And exactly who you want at the plate with the game on the line-- Sonic!
[Sonic is now playing the role of the pitcher for the opposing team]
Sonic: But staring him down from the pitcher's mound is the most fearsome southpaw in Green Hills-- also Sonic!
[Sonic switches back to the batter]
Sonic: Okay. Focus, Sonic. If you win this game, you'll be the most beloved kid in Green Hills.
[Playing the role of an infielder, Sonic does a secret code with his fingers, straightens his cap, slaps his face a few times, does a couple of armpit farts, flaps his hands and cups them against his mouth]
Sonic: Hit it to the guy in left! He's a real space case.
[Playing the role of the left outfielder, Sonic blows a bubble of gum and resumes the role of the pitcher]
Sonic: Ugh, I can't with that guy.
[Sonic plays the role of the umpire]
Sonic: Hey, batter Sonic. Hey, batter Sonic. "Suh-wing," batter Sonic.
[As the pitcher, Sonic throws the ball and speeds to the batter position as the ball makes its way towards home plate and he hits the ball high. As the outfielder, he smells a flower in the grass and sees the ball]
Sonic: I got it, I got it, I got it!
[Sonic tries to catch the ball but is unsuccessful]
Sonic: I don't got it.
[As the batter, Sonic runs to first base and rounds second while he throws the ball as the outfielder and he dodges the ball in slow motion as the batter and he comes up to third base and plays the role of a teammate]
Sonic: Go home! Go home!
[Sonic rounds third base and he plays the umpire again]
Sonic: Come on!
[Sonic jumps up and makes a dive for home plate, the umpire catches the ball and he makes it]
Sonic: Safe!
[Sonic slides to a stop and jumps with joy]
Sonic: Ah, yes! Yes, yes, yes! I did it! Did you see that? I did it! I did it.
[Sonic holds up his hand, but sees that the baseball diamond is completely empty and silent]
Sonic: I really am alone. All alone… forever.
[Sonic whips off the batter helmet and starts running around the perimeter of the baseball diamond at a very fast speed, his anger and sadness increasing and energy building with each lap. Finally, Sonic lets out a loud yell as a bright blue electromagnetic pulse explodes in the air, causing the lights in the baseball diamond to explode. The brilliant pulse blooms outwards and spreads across the valley. Several cities blackout, plunging into darkness. Even a satellite is disabled by the EMP]
Sonic: I'm sure no one noticed that giant blue explosion, right? [Speeds away]

[Scene Change: Police Station Interior, night]

[The police station's phone is ringing like crazy and Wade is staring at the machine in terror, and he dials Tom]
Tom: [Notices Wade on the caller ID even in the dark and answers] Hey, Wade.
Wade: Hi, Tom. Wade here. What is going on?
Tom: Well, gosh, I think the power's out.
Wade: Yeah, no dur! The lights are out. The whole town is freaking out. What should I do?
Tom: Okay, relax. Take a deep breath, call Gil, see if they can locate the downed line, then call Zim and see if he can get his generator over to the Super Q so the food stays fresh. [Notices something blue glowing in the dark]
Wade: (over the phone) Call Zim before Gil? Call Gil--Hello?!
Tom: I'll call you back.
Wade: Wait, no, no! Wait! Hello? Was that the end of the instructions? [Sets his cell phone down] Okay, all right. You can do this. What was the first thing he said to do? Right. Relax.

[Scene: Wachowski residence, night]

[Tom moves an object aside and sees Sonic's quill glowing bright blue in the dark, electricity crackling along it, and picks it up. inspecting it once more]

[Scene Change: The Pentagon, night]

[The top members of the United States military sit down at a table in a joint meeting, held by Commander Walters, commander of the U.S. Armed Forces]
Commander Walters: 20 minutes ago, an energy surge knocked out power across the entire Pacific Northwest. What do we know?
Navy Chief of Staff: Well, our first instinct was it was an EMP. But electromagnetic pulses don't have that kind of power.
Air Force Chief of Staff: NASA has ruled out meteor strikes or solar flares.
Secretary of Homeland Security: The Department of Energy says it's not a power plant malfunction.
Commander Walters: Well, sounds like we're really good at figuring out what it wasn't.
Army Chief of Staff: This could be a prelude to a larger attack. I'm suggesting we scramble the 5th and 6th Regiment.
Commander Walters: No, no, no, no. This needs a much more sophisticated mind. Someone who understands technology.
Army Chief of Staff: You want to send in a lab rat?
Commander Walters: Not just any lab rat. A lab rat with teeth.
Air Force Chief of Staff: You're not suggesting who I think you're suggesting.
Commander Walters: I know he's a little weird.
Air Force Chief of Staff: "Weird?!"
Army Chief of Staff: No. No. No way.
Air Force Chief of Staff: He's a psychological tire fire!
Commander Walters: But he's also brilliant. 5 PhDs, IQ off the charts. And his drone tech i-i-is revolutionary!
Army Chief of Staff: You're sure he can handle this?
Commander Walters: He has a perfect operations record. Remember the coup in Pakistan?
Army Chief of Staff: No.
Commander Walters: Or the uprising in Azerbaijanistan?
Navy Chief of Staff: That's not even a country.
Commander Walters: Exactly. And you can thank Robotnik for that.
Air Force Chief of Staff: I can't believe you're bringing that freak into this.
Commander Walters: Neither can I. But… we have no choice.

[Scene Change: Baseball diamond, day]

[The Military has set up a detachment at the baseball diamond to investigate the anomaly. A large black truck, a red electronic eye adorning its hood, slowly pulls in, catching the attention of Major Bennington]
Major Bennington: What the…
[A fold-out staircase opens and sets up as Dr. Robotnik steps out of the truck, wearing heavy sunglasses and an all black suit with red trims on the inside, and he makes his way over to Major Bennington along with his assistant, Agent Stone. Dr. Robotnik approaches the major and takes his glasses off as the major warily puts a hand on his sidearm holster in case he needs it]
Dr. Robotnik: Are you in charge here?
Major Bennington: Yes, I am--
Dr. Robotnik: Nope!
Major Bennington: My--
Dr. Robotnik: Wrong!
Major Bennington: name--
Dr. Robotnik: I'm in charge!
Major Bennington: is Major--
Dr. Robotnik: Me!
Major Bennington: Ben--
Dr. Robotnik: [Whispering] I'm in charge. [Shows Major Bennington his digital badge that is being held by Agent Stone] You've never seen anything like this before. It says I'm the top banana in a world full of hungry little monkeys. [Points upward] Allow me to clarify. [Turns his head to the side while making a servo noise] In a sequentially ranked hierarchy based on level of critical importance, the disparity between us is too vast to quantify. Agent Stone? [Walks away]
Agent Stone: The Doctor thinks you're basic.
Dr. Robotnik: I'm initiating a sweep sequence. [Presses some buttons on his glove control panel] 10 miles in every direction should suffice.
[On the top of Dr. Robotnik's truck, his flying drones prepare to be dispatched]
Dr. Robotnik: Is he still looking at me funny?
Agent Stone: Yes, he is.
Dr. Robotnik: Tell him to stop or I'll pull up his search history.
Agent Stone: If you don't stop looking at the doctor, he'll take a closer look--
Major Bennington: I'm not deaf.
Dr. Robotnik: And tell him his men report to me now. Blah blah blah… blah blah blah… blah blah blah.
Major Bennington: Excuse me? Listen, pal, I don't know if you realize--
Dr. Robotnik: I'm sorry, Major. What was your name?
Major Bennington: Benning--
Dr. Robotnik: Nobody cares! Nobody cares. Listen, Major Nobody-Cares. You know why nobody cares who you are? Because nobody cares about your feeble accomplishments. [Walks up to Major Bennington and walks around him] And nobody cares how proud your mommy is that you're now reading at a 3rd grade level. Have you finished Charlotte's Web yet? Spoiler alert: She dies in the end. But she leaves a big creepy egg sac. [Sees his drones flying around] Ah, my babies! Ooh! Look at what came out of my egg sack! You know what I love about machines? [Turns to face the drones] They do what they're told. They follow their programming! They don't need time off to get drunk and put the boat in the water! [Turns back to face everyone, pointing at Major Bennington] Now, you do what you're told. Stand over there on the edge of your personal abyss… [Opens his arms] and watch my machines do your job.
[A disgruntled Major Bennington walks away and Agent Stone turns to face Dr. Robotnik]
Dr. Robotnik: Can you feel it, Stone?
Agent Stone: I can feel it, Doctor.
Dr. Robotnik: It's evolution, Stone. [Pressing buttons on his gloves, and clenches his fists] It's evolution!!!
[The drones fly off into the distance]

[Scene Change: Woods, day]

[The flying drones spread out in the woods and fly through the trees scanning everything in their path. Each drone is equipped with a single red eye-like lens like the one on the truck. One scans a nearby rock. On the rock is a muddy shoe print. It shows a worn-out sole revealing clear hedgehog toeprints]

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

[Back at his truck, Dr. Robotnik is watching and controlling the operation on a giant holographic screen. Agent Stone enters]
Dr. Robotnik: Agent Stone?
Agent Stone: Doctor.
Dr. Robotnik: Do you see anything useful in this image?
[Dr. Robotnik shows Agent Stone the image of a shoe print]
Agent Stone: Nothing at all, Doctor.
Dr. Robotnik: Of course you don't. Your eyes weren't expertly trained to spot tracks by the Native American Shadow Wolves.
[Dr. Robotnik presses some buttons on the control panel and scoots back a little as the image now shows what looks like an unusual foot]
Agent Stone: That's extraordinary.
Dr. Robotnik: No. What's extraordinary is I've determined the exact height, weight, and spinal curvature of this creature, and my computer can't find a single match for it anywhere in Earth's animal kingdom. This blackout was not a terrorist attack, and that's no baby Bigfoot. [Chuckling] This guy is something else… entirely. Divert all search units to the sight of the footprint. That's one small step for man, one giant leap for me.

[Scene Change: Woods, day]

[The Military and the drones are searching the area while Sonic watches from a distance]
Sonic: Okay, okay. Everything is fine. You played some baseball, got a little upset, lightning shot out of your butt, and now they're coming for you!
[Sonic speeds back to his tree trunk home]
Sonic: All right, all right. Earth isn't safe anymore. Time for Plan B--Mushroomville. But I gotta take my stuff. Okay, essential items only. [Zips around while packing] Okay, toothbrush, toothpaste, hair gel, night-light. Funny hat. This half-eaten cantaloupe. Oh, my scented candle. My entire comic book collection. Beanbag chair. Can a beanbag chair fit in a backpack? No, no, no. Of course not. That's stupid. Okay, what else? The Rings! The Rings, yes, of course! [Wears a red backpack and holds the Ring satchel] Here we go. Ring time. Mushroom Planet, here I come.
[As Sonic is about to toss the ring, he hears the dogs coming]
Sonic: Oh, no! They're right outside! I gotta go somewhere else. [Takes one last look at his cave] Goodbye, cave. [Walks out]

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

[Tom's phone rings while he is marking things down on a map and he sees it is Maddie who's calling and he answers]
Tom: Hey!
Maddie: (over the phone) Hey!
Tom: Whatcha doing?

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Maddie: Just coloring with Jojo and Rachel.

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

Tom: Ah, that sounds half fun. Hey, exciting stuff here. We had a power outage. The whole town went dark. It was like a sign telling me to get out of Dodge.

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Maddie: Wade must have lost his mind.

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

Tom: Yeah. And he does not have much to lose. How's your sister? Did she convince you to leave me yet?

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Maddie: No, but she did tell me to check your phone for dating apps.
Tom: (over the phone) The only apps on my phone are the ones that came with it.

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

Tom: And the Olive Garden.

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Maddie: Because when you're there…
[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]
Tom: You're family. [Hears a noise outside] No way.
[Tom looks out the window to his garage. The garbage cans have been knocked over]
Tom: The raccoons are back. And they are in for a surprise. [Opens a drawer]

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Maddie: Your surprise better not be my tranquilizer gun. They're just hungry.

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

Maddie: [Over the phone] And also, that's for bears.
Tom: [Grabs the tranq gun and cocks it] Good. Now I know it'll work.
Maddie: Tom!
Tom: I'm kidding. I'm just gonna use it to scare 'em. Possibly to death.

[Scene Change: Rachel's residence, day]

Tom: Love you, honey. Bye! [Hangs up]
Maddie: Tom--

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

[Tom scoops a bit of cake on his finger and licks it before walking out to the garage]

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

Rachel: D-I-V-O-R-C-E.

[Scene Change: Tom's garage, day]

[Sonic has now climbed through the window and is inside Tom's garage, leaving dirt all over the workbench]
Sonic: Okay, I'm in. [Gets down from the workbench and onto the floor] With minimal damage to Donut Lord's property. [Reaches into the satchel and pulls out a Ring] Here we go. It didn't work out on Earth, but that's okay! You're going to a safe world. A nice, safe world filled with mushrooms--mushrooms that'll be your only friends. That sounds awful, I can't do this! You have to do it. There's no other option. [Takes a deep breath] All right.
[Sonic prepares to toss the ring when he hears the door to the garage barging open and he sees Tom pointing the tranquilizer gun and a flashlight while looking around]
Tom: SFPD, pending background check! Paws in the air! [Points the gun and flashlight at a stunned Sonic]
Sonic: Uh... meow?
[Tom screams in horror and Sonic screams back before Tom fires the tranq gun and shoots Sonic in the leg with a dart]
Sonic: Ow!
[As Sonic starts losing consciousness, he reads the words on Tom's shirt]
Sonic: "San... Francisco"?
[Sonic drops the Ring and it opens up a portal to the sprawling streets of San Francisco in the middle of the floor and a bewildered Tom watches while Sonic stumbles to the ground and drops his ring satchel through the portal, which lands on the roof of the Transamerica Building. The portal begins to close]
Sonic: No.
[The portal is now closed, leaving an unconscious Sonic lying on the ground and Tom, still in shock at what he saw]
Tom: What?

[Scene: Wachowski residence, day]

[Sonic is now inside Ozzie's dog cage and Tom gently pokes him with a spatula and moves his head a little. He then notices Sonic's quills and picks up the one he found earlier. It's a match]
Tom: The Blue Devil.
[Tom walks to the counter and ponders what he should do, while Sonic regains consciousness, opens the cage, and tries to stand up. Tom grabs his cell phone and turns back to the cage, but is startled by Sonic]
Sonic: Donut Lord?
Tom: It can talk. You're not... you're not here to abduct me, are you?
Sonic: You abducted me!
Tom: Okay, that's a fair point. What are you? Why were you hiding out in my garage?
Sonic: I needed to be somewhere safe. And you're the only person I could think of, Donut Lord.
Tom: Why do you keep calling me Donut Lord?
Sonic: ‘Cause you talk to donuts. And then eat them if they get out of line.
Tom: Again, fair.
Sonic: Wait, wait, wait. Where are all the mushrooms? Why am I still on Earth? What is-- Oh, no! I lost my Rings!
Tom: What?!
[Tom hears a vehicle approaching outside, which is Dr. Robotnik's truck]
Tom: What's happening? Is this your mother ship? I'm not in the mood to get probed.
Sonic: You think you're worried? I'm not even wearing pants!
Tom: [Looks out the window to see Dr. Robotnik's truck parked outside] What the…
[Sonic looks out as well but yelps and covers the window with the curtains]
Sonic: They're coming for me!
Tom: Who's coming for you? What does that got to do with me?
Sonic: I don't have time to explain, but you have to help me!
Tom: No, I don't! Why?
Sonic: Well, my legs, which normally would be classified as lethal weapons, feel like spaghetti. I need your help. Please. It's life or death.
[Tom looks at Sonic, then back to the window, then he makes his decision]
Tom: Fine. Come with me.
[Tom walks out while Sonic tries to walk, but instead facepalms on the floor after falling off the table]
Sonic: Uh, little help?

[Scene Change: Outside, day]

[Dr. Robotnik is examining more footprints and he uses his glove controls again]

[Scene: Wachowski attic, day]

Tom: All right, stay here. And be quiet.
Sonic: Good plan. Great plan! We're already working so well together! Practically finishing each other's sentences.
[Tom walks downstairs, closing the attic door on the way out]
Sonic: Okay, bye.
[Standing in the doorway, Tom looks out and sees Dr. Robotnik on the walkway]
Tom: Hello there! Can I help you?
Dr. Robotnik: [Walks over to the steps] Good morning, my rural chum. I'm… from the power company, investigating the blackout. If you don't mind, I'd like to take a few readings inside your house?
Tom: No kidding! You're from the power company? You must know my buddy Spencer. We play softball together.
Dr. Robotnik: Ah, Spence. He's a good man.
Tom: Yeah. Come on in!
Dr. Robotnik: Great.
[Dr. Robotnik trots up the steps and onto the porch before being stopped by Tom]
Tom: Take all the readings you need. Except, [Bars the doorway to block Dr. Robotnik from entering] doesn't the power company usually take their readings from outside the house? That way they can check on you even if you're not home. Also, my buddy Spencer works for the gas company, and he's more of an Ultimate Frisbee guy. So, you want to tell me why you think I'm dumb enough to just let you walk inside my house?
[Dr. Robotnik puts one hand behind his back and uses his glove controls to send out a couple of his drones to search the house]
Dr. Robotnik: I'm sorry, Mister…
Tom: Wachowski. But everyone just calls me Tom. Except my dentist, he calls me Tim. But it's gone on for so long that it would be weird if I corrected him.
Dr. Robotnik: Well, Tom Whose-Dentist-Calls-Him-Tim, you may have noticed that this entire town has been experiencing a power outage.
Tom: Yep, no lights. Picked up on that.
Dr. Robotnik: 20 minutes ago, I tracked an energy pulse with a similar signature to the one that caused this disruption.
[Some of Dr. Robotnik's drones fly into the house via the windows and even the chimney and one scans the attic while Sonic watches and tries to stay out of sight]
Tom: Listen, Mister--
Dr. Robotnik: Doctor. Dr. Robotnik. But my dentist calls me Rob.
Tom: Look, uh, Dr. Robotskeez. Um, I'm sure what you're here for is very serious, but it's got nothing to do with me. You can ask anyone in town. Everyone knows me.
Dr. Robotnik: I bet they do. I'm sure you're hella popular with the Jebs and the Merles and Billy Bobs in this glorified gas-station rest stop. Betcha go way back to the days of tipping cows and playing in a jug band! [Imitates a jug band player] And maybe someday you'll achieve your goal of getting a Costco card or adopting a Labradoodle. But the reality is, I surpassed EVERYTHING YOU'RE EVER GOING TO DO… before I was a toddler. I was spitting out formulas while you were still spitting up formula.
Tom: I was breastfed, actually.
Dr. Robotnik: Nice. Rub that in my orphan face. Mr. Wachowski, are you familiar with US Code 904, Title 10, Article 104?
Tom: Yeah, who isn't--
Dr. Robotnik: "Anyone who attempts to aid an enemy of the United States shall suffer death." And if I'm the one who catches you, it'll be even worse.
Tom: Worse than death?

[Scene: Wachowski attic, day]

[Sonic is curled up into a ball to blend in with the other sports balls to avoid detection]
Sonic: Okay, I'm a ball, just a normal ball. I'm blending in like a ball. Shh, stop talking. No, you stop talking. Be quiet, Sonic. YOU be quiet, Sonic! Oh, I hope they aren't scanning me with X-rays. I had a kind of an embarrassing lunch.
[Another flying drone flies into the attic and starts scanning the area and they get closer to the blue ball]
Sonic: Don't freak out. Don't freak out, don't freak out. [The lasers get even closer] Don't freak out, don't freak out.
[Just before the scanners reach him, he panics]
Sonic: I'm freaking out!!!
[Sonic leaps out of his hiding spot, fumbles out of the attic, and rolls down the stairs]
Sonic: Why don't you have your staircase carpeted?!
[Sonic rolls into the kitchen and bumps into the counter]
Dr. Robotnik: Compared to what I--
[Tom and Dr. Robotnik look for the source of the noise]
Tom: Old pipes.
Dr. Robotnik: Yeah. Probably just the house settling. Nothing to see here!
[Dr. Robotnik pushes Tom out of the way and rushes inside to find the source of the noise with Tom behind him]
Tom: Hey!
[Tom and Dr. Robotnik find a raccoon on top of the counter, chomping away at the cake]
Dr. Robotnik: Here's the thing. I'm never wrong.
Tom: [Pats Dr. Robotnik's shoulder] Well, first time for everything, I guess.
[Tom walks over to the counter as the raccoon leaves through a doggie door]
Tom: Would you like some cake? I hear raccoons have the cleanest mouths of any animal that routinely eats garbage.
[Dr. Robotnik chuckles and gives Tom a chagrined look and turns away, only to find Sonic's quill on the table, and he picks it up, a sinister smirk appears on his face]
Dr. Robotnik: Look at that. I was right. [Waves his hand down his face] Note the lack of surprise.
[Dr. Robotnik's face turns angry once again]
Dr. Robotnik: Shall we try this again?
[Dr. Robotnik whistles to the tune of Richard Wagner's "Ride of the Valkyries" and a flying drone slowly approaches Tom while Sonic is watching underneath the counter and the drone arms its weapons and aims them at Tom. Dr. Robotnik strokes Sonic's quill as he inches closer to Tom]
Dr. Robotnik: I'm going to give you 5 seconds to tell me where it is. 5.
Tom: I don't know what you're talking about.
Dr. Robotnik: 4.
Tom: Hey, tough guy. I'm a cop. And you're threatening an officer. [Brandishes his badge]
Dr. Robotnik: How can you threaten somebody who never existed? 3. Come on! Rack your brain! You might be able to come up with some lame excuse to go on living. In 2…
[Tom glances at the drone]
Dr. Robotnik: 1!
Sonic: [Rushes from beneath the counter] Wait! Don't hurt him!
Dr. Robotnik: [screams]
[Tom punches Dr. Robotnik in the face, knocking him out. A skirmish ensues inside the house with the flying drone firing its weapons everywhere, breaking objects and knocking some over while Sonic and Tom scramble for cover]
Sonic: This feels excessive!
[Sonic notices the drone and gets an idea]
Tom: Stay behind me.
[Tom notices Sonic is no longer with him, but rather, climbing on top of a shelf, preparing to commence his attack. Tom shakes his head urgently but Sonic just nods and give him a smug look and Sonic jumps onto the drone]
Sonic: Hiyah!
[Sonic is now controlling the drone]
Sonic: Don't worry, I got it right where I want it!
[Tom scrambles for cover while Sonic is having a blast]
Sonic: Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver packages with these things?
[The drone tries shaking Sonic off]
Sonic: This was a horrible plan! What was I thinking?!
[Tom sees something as Sonic continues to fight the drone but is ultimately thrown off]
Sonic: I'm gonna puke!
[Tom grabs something round off the table and whacks the drone with it, destroying the machine. He then goes to Sonic and carries him out of the house while he is acting loopy from the fight]
Tom: Come on! We gotta get out of here.
Sonic: [droozing] Oh, don't tell me that's all you got! I'm just getting started! Let me know if you want to go round two with the blue!
[Tom puts him in the passenger seat and gets into the truck, starts it, and drives away as quickly as possible, just as Agent Stone arrives and he walks inside the house and finds Dr. Robotnik on the floor]
Agent Stone: Doctor! Are you okay? [Helps Dr. Robotnik up] I saw a guy race out of here and thought--
Dr. Robotnik: That you should stop them? Open your mouth and say you thought that you should stop them.
Agent Stone: No, I thought that maybe I should check to see if you were okay…
[Dr. Robotnik grabs him by his lower jaw and pulls him close]
Dr. Robotnik: You know what's hard about being the smartest person in the world?
Agent Stone: Everyone else seems stupid.
Dr. Robotnik: Stupid, yes! Way to go! You got that one. [Releases Agent Stone and wipes his gloves on Agent Stone's coat] Whatever this creature is, it's our job to secure it, neutralize it, uncover the source of its power. And if it resists, we take it apart. Piece by piece. [Puts on his broken glasses] See what makes it tick. Stone?
Agent Stone: Doctor?
Dr. Robotnik: Call Optical Illusions. [Takes off his glasses] Tell them I need new frames. [Tosses his glasses to the floor] They know what kind I like. [Walks away but stops] Oh, and bring that quill. [Walks out]
Agent Stone: Yes, Doctor.

[Scene Change: Road, day]

[Sonic and Tom are now riding on the open road in Tom's truck]
Tom: All right, pal, you need to start talking right now. Who are you? WHAT are you?
Sonic: I'm a hedgehog! I feel like that's obvious. And I'm in big trouble.
Tom: Oh, you're in big trouble? You're not the one who punched some government weirdo back there.
Sonic: You think you have problems? I lost my Rings!
Tom: Rings? What are you talking about?
Sonic: Okay, Rings are how all advanced cultures travel between worlds. And now mine are on top of a pointy building I've only ever seen on your skintight T-shirt.
Tom: [Sounds offended] Hey.
Sonic: So, I'd like you to take me to San Francisco so I can get back my Rings and use them to go to the Mushroom Planet.
Tom: Mushroom Planet.
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Right. [Pulls over to the side of the road] Okay, pal, [Opens the passenger side door] out you go.
Sonic: I'm sorry, what?
Tom: Look, this is the worst possible time for me to get myself into trouble, okay? You asked me to save your life, I saved your life. Now, please, go find your Rings and your mushroom land. Hopefully I'm gonna wake up in a hospital bed and the doctor's gonna tell me that my colonoscopy was a big success. Okay? So, goodbye.
Sonic: Okay. Goodbye. [Steps out of the truck]
Tom: Goodbye. [Notices Sonic is still standing next to the truck] Why aren't you leaving?
Sonic: I don't know where San Francisco is.
Tom: It's west.
Sonic: West?
Tom: Straight shot, can't miss it.
Sonic: Fine. That's cool. I'm totally cool saying goodbye now.
[Sonic speeds off in the direction Tom gave him, but he comes back to the truck, now soaking wet and covered in seaweed with a fish on his head]
Sonic: So, as I crashed into the cold, dark water of the Pacific, I realized a few things. A, I have no idea where I'm going. B, saltwater stings. C, I shouldn't even be on this planet right now, but I am! Why?! Because you shot me!
Tom: I know.
Sonic: You shot me!
Tom: All right, I heard you the first time. You don't have to... pile it on. Good grief.
Sonic: [Extends his thumb] I'm wet, [Extends his finger] I'm cold, [Opens his hands] there's a fish on my head! And clearly, I'm not going to be able to do this on my own.
[Tom looks at Sonic as the fish falls off his head]
Tom: [Sighs] All right, get in the truck.
Sonic: Really? [Shakes himself off really quickly, puffing up his fur] You're gonna help me?!
Tom: I guess it is a little bit my fault that all this is happening to you.
Sonic: Not a little bit, entirely. It is ENTIRELY your fault.
Tom: Okay, it's entirely my fault. Are you coming?
Sonic: Yes.
[Sonic shakes himself off again, his fur going back to normal and he climbs back into the truck and closes the door]
Sonic: Road trip! Whoop, whoop!
Tom: [Sighs] What am I doing?

[Scene: Foothills, day]

[Sonic and Tom are driving through the foothills, continuing their journey]
Tom: All right, there's gonna be rules on this trip. Number one, do exactly as I say all the time. Got it?
Sonic: [Gives Tom a little salute with his fingers] Got it, Donut Lord.
Tom: Would you stop with the "Donut Lord"?! I have a name. It's Tom.
Sonic: I'm Sonic.
Tom: Sonic. Sonic. So you've been spying on us all these years?
Sonic: I mean, I wouldn't call it "spying." We were all just hanging out, only I wasn't invited and no one knew I was there.
Tom: I can't believe Crazy Carl was right all this time!
Sonic: Yeah, you should call him Super Observant Carl instead.
Tom: Uh-huh.
Sonic: Oh, my God, stop the car right now! [Gets up and leans out the open window]
Tom: What, what?! What?
[They pass a billboard advertising the World's Largest Rubber Band Ball]
Sonic: "The World's Largest Rubber Band Ball"? We gotta see it!
Tom: No, no. No, this is not some fun family road trip, okay? The government wants to dissect you and arrest me. This is serious.
[Sonic gives Tom a bored frown, speeds out of the truck and comes back in the blink of an eye with souvenirs like a baseball cap and some small rubber band balls]
Sonic: Eh, you're right. It was lame. Gift shop was cool, though!
[Sonic shows a mouse pad that reads "I ❤️ Rubber Band Balls" to Tom]
Sonic: I got you a mouse pad. When are we gonna get there?
[Sonic holds up a paddle ball and plays with it at a very fast speed while looking at Tom with a playful smile]
Tom: We will get there when we get there!
[Sonic continues playing with the paddle ball]

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

[Sonic and Tom pull into a rest stop on the other side of town and the truck pulls up to a fueling station and Tom gets out of the truck and puts a hat on and walks to the other side of the truck]
Tom: All right, I'm gonna go check in with Wade, see if he knows what's going on.
Sonic: You're gonna see Wade in that glass thing? What is it, a teleportation box?
Tom: [Looks behind him and back at Sonic] It's a pay phone. It's mostly for drug dealers and fugitives from the law, which is us. Stay in the car. I don't want anybody seeing you.
Sonic: Ugh, fine.
[Tom walks to the pay phone and goes inside. Meanwhile, Sonic is horsing around in the truck, pretending like he is actually driving it and making engine noises, when he spots a large gathering of bikers off to the side and he gasps with wonder before ducking down behind the door]
Sonic: Okay, okay. That is the coolest place on Earth, but you have to stay in the car!
[Sonic slowly peaks his head up to continue watching everything play out in front of him, and it causes him to hyperventilate, fogging up the glass on the window, which he wipes away to keep watching. He's still fighting his excitement by rocking back and forth in the driver's seat]
Sonic: Be strong, be strong!
[Unable to take it anymore, Sonic spots a pair of sunglasses and gets an idea. Meanwhile, Tom is on the phone with Wade]

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Wade: Hello. Green Hills Police Department.

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Tom: Wade, it's me.
Wade: [Over the phone] Hi. I'm so glad that you called.

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Wade: Uh, so, some guys came in asking some questions. Uh, they're a little creepy. [Chuckles nervously]

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Wade: Kind of reminded me of, uh, the guys from Men in Black, but not as likable or, uh, charming as Will Smith.
Tom: Wait, what kind of questions?
Wade: Um, questions about… terrorism? Heh, I told them that I've gone ice fishing with Tom. He doesn't know how to make a bomb!

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Wade: [Over the phone] He can't even make, like, bait in the cold!
Tom: All right, Wade, listen to me. This is really important. Don't tell them that we talked, okay?

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Wade: [Looks up and sees Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone staring him down] You know, I think they already know. [Dr. Robotnik grabs the phone from Wade]
Dr. Robotnik: Mr. Wachowski.

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Tom: Ugh, Tom.

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik: I want you to know that the only person who ever punched me in the face was the school bully. He hit me in the cafeteria, causing a blunt-force contusion to the soft tissue surrounding my orbital bone. Humiliated me in front of the entire school! And you know what I did in response?

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Tom: Uh, I'm assuming that you reported him to the principal's office ‘cause , you know, that kind of behavior is really unacceptable.

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik: No, I examined the inefficiency of a world where brawn trumped brain, and I used technology to resolve that inefficiency. The boy ate his meals through a straw for a year. And I have never lost a fight... until today.

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

Tom: Hey, hooray for me then, huh?

[Scene Change: Police Station, night]

Dr. Robotnik: No, because you're about to become the bully with the straw! I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski. And when I catch you, I'll-- [Tom hangs up] Hello. Hello? Hello, hello, hello?
Wade: I think he actually hung up, because I notice the light isn't on…
Dr. Robotnik: Thank you, Officer Brainfart.
Wade: If you give me a second I can get an outside line…
Dr. Robotnik: No. Don't be bothered. You just sit there and be "u"... seless.
[Dr. Robotnik, Agent Stone, and the others walk out of the room]
Wade: No one's gonna… erase my memory here? I will tell people about this!

[Scene Change: Rest Stop, night]

[Tom comes back to the truck with a fast food meal]
Tom: Okay, not exactly the healthiest meal, but… [Notices Sonic is no longer in the truck] Sonic?
[Tom looks over to the biker bar and realizes Sonic might be in there]
Tom: No, no, no, no, no!
[Tom sets the meal down on the hood of the truck and rushes to the biker bar]

[Scene Change: Piston Pit, night]

[Tom enters the biker bar, called the Piston Pit, and looks around for Sonic, which he finally sees Sonic sitting at a table wearing a cowboy hat, the sunglasses, and a red shirt. Tom stomps his foot and Sonic turns around, tipping his hat to Tom]
Sonic: (In a western accent) Howdy, partner!
Tom: I'm not your partner. Come on. We're leaving.
Sonic: But there's a ZZ Top cover band. You gotta see their beards.
Tom: We'll have to catch ‘em some other time. Let's go! Get up!
Sonic: If we stay, I promise I won't say another word for the rest of the trip, starting… now!
Waitress: [Walks over to Tom and Sonic] Welcome to the Piston Pit. What can I get you fellas?
Sonic: Ooh! I want nachos and buffalo wings. Oh, and guac. Funny word isn't it? Guac, guac! Guuaaac!
Waitress: Hey, no kids allowed in here. What's he got on, some kind of mask?
Tom: Oh! He, he's actually 43 years old and suffers from a very rare skin disease that stunts his growth and makes him look… like-like that.
Sonic: The face, I was born with. The confidence, I picked up along the way.
[The waitress smiles]
Tom: Make his a Mello Yellow, please.
Waitress: Okay.
[The waitress walks away as Tom sits down at the table]
Tom: You owe me one.
Sonic: I never sat on a barstool before! So squishy! Oh, look at this, it spins! [Spins around on the barstool] Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Tom: Yes. That's nice.
Sonic: Whaa-ha-ha-ha! [Stops spinning] I feel sick.
Tom: Are you having fun? Gonna check this off the ol' bucket list, huh? Big night for you.
Sonic: What's a bucket list?
Tom: [Sighs] A bucket list is, uh, it's a list of things you want to do in your life before you, well, kick the bucket.
Sonic: I've never kicked a bucket either! Oh, I gotta make my list!
[Sonic speeds off and grabs a pen and pad and comes back to the table, writing down his list]
Sonic: Uh-huh! Mm-hmm! Oh, Sonic! Ha-ha! Uh-huh! [Stops and frowns]
Tom: [Notices Sonic's concern] What? What's the matter?
Sonic: There's so much stuff I've never done. And now that I'm leaving Earth forever, I guess I missed my chance.
Tom: [Looks around] Well, I guess this is the kind of place you could get a lot of living done in a short period of time. I suppose we can spare an hour.
Sonic: What? You're gonna bucket list with me?!
Tom: Sure, why not?
Sonic: You won't regret this!
Tom: Oh, I'm pretty sure I will.
["Bad News" by Ghost Hounds plays in the background. Sonic and Tom line dance with a group of patrons. Playing darts, Tom scores a bullseye. Sonic picks up a bucket of darts and rapid-fires them. He misses the board completely, but punctures their waitress' hat and beer cans she's holding on her plate. Sonic crosses "Compete in a sport" off his bucket list. Tom plays a basketball game but unwittingly uses Sonic as a ball and Sonic uses his fast legs to build up Tom's score as he sits on the hoop ring]
Sonic: Ha-ha! New high score!
[He crosses "Do a SLAM DUNK" off his list. He and Tom are dancing again]
Sonic: Yippee-ki-yay! Ah-ha!
[Sonic is riding a mechanical bull]
Sonic: Wait a second, is this bull missing a head, or does it have two butts?
[Tom mockingly yawns from seeing Sonic ride the bull]
Sonic: This is easy!
[Tom decides to turn up the speed for the mechanical bull by inserting a quarter into the machine and tapping the button for the highest speed and he laughs from watching Sonic hold onto it and being thrown around]
Sonic: Yee-haw! I'm a cowboy, baby!
[Sonic gets thrown off the bull but speeds back onto it like nothing happened]
Sonic: I'm okay!
(He crosses "Tame a wild animal" off his bucket list. Tom and Sonic are dancing again, but Sonic accidentally bumps into a female patron]
Tom: Whoo, yeah!
[The female patron throws a drink in Tom's face, thinking it was him who slapped her hiney. Afterwards, Tom is drying up while Sonic is laughing at Tom's plight]
Tom: Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
Sonic: Nice work, Romeo!
Tom: [Sarcastic laughter] Glad you're having a good time.
Sonic: I AM having a good time! I'm having the best time! I mean, what could go wrong?
[Suddenly, a group of mean-looking patrons approach him and Tom]
Tom: Uh, heh, can we help you?
Thug: We don't like your kind around here.
Sonic: "Our kind" What kind is that?
Thug: Hipsters.
Sonic: [Gasps] How dare you.
Tom: Hey, you know what? We were just leaving anyway. Weren't we? There's not a problem here.
Sonic: No, no, no, it's okay.
Tom: No, no, no, we're leaving.
Sonic: I know exactly how to handle this situation. [Grabs a beer bottle, stands up, and clears his throat] Pop quiz, hotshot. You just picked a fight with a poorly disguised hedgehog who's seen way too many action movies. What do you do? What do you do? Ha!
[Sonic jumps up and tries to smash the bottle over the guy's head expecting the bottle to shatter, but nothing happens]
Sonic: Huh? Am I crazy? It's supposed to break, right? [Tries again, numerous times, his speed increasing as well] Dink! Dink, dink! Break, please. Break, please. Break this bottle, please. Please, please, please, please, please!
Tom: Uh, Sonic?
[The guy raises his fist]
Sonic: Uh-oh!
[Sonic ducks the guy's punch, but Tom doesn't. He topples into more patrons, sparking a full scale brawl. Tom punches two brawlers and dodges a third]
Sonic: Ho-hoo! Ho-ho-ho!
Tom: [Sarcastically] Nice going!
Sonic: Thanks! It's awesome, right? All right, who's next? Who wants some? Who do I get to beat up? Hey! Has anybody seen my waitress? Still waiting on those buffalo wings.
[He sees the thug from earlier cracking his knuckles]
Sonic: Why, you!
[Sonic jumps and punches the thug in the face repeatedly in slow-motion, somersaults, and lands back on the floor]
Sonic: Ha-ha!
[Sonic blows on his fists and the thug turns around and growls aggressively]
Sonic: Uh-oh!
[The thug runs to tackle him, but now time seems to have stopped and everything is frozen in place as Sonic's awareness is increased tenfold]
Sonic: Really?
[Sonic speeds away, leaving his hat and shirt in midair. "BOOM" by X Ambassadors plays as Sonic runs around the bar. Flying food and spilled beer hang in the air. A falling man has his front tooth flying and his phone in midair. Sonic grabs the phone and takes a selfie. Sonic runs full tilt into a flying empty boot. Sonic sees that Tom is about to be punched by two of the bullies. He pulls the beanie over the eyes of one of them, then stretches the underwear of the other and hooks it over a cast harpy eagle. Then he pushes Tom out of harm's way and into the bar. Sonic runs to the edge of the bar where half a dozen chili dogs hang in midair. He scarfs them down, belches, and grabs two burning sparklers from the waitress's upended tray. A woman has two men in a headlock. Sonic covers their heads with mustard and ketchup then sticks the sparklers into the woman's ears. He covers two fighters head to toe with toilet paper. He weaves a long string of flags through the rest of the battling patrons, including two women both with caps and beer bottles and mirroring each other's position, and lassos the end of the flags to a ceiling fan. He runs up the wall and pulls off a mounted bear's head. Leaping from person to person, Sonic carries the bear's head to the bald guy and places it on his head, Sonic's hat and shirt still hang in midair, and he gets back into them. He grabs a checkered napkin and holds it up like a matador. The scene returns to normal speed and everyone is neutralized by Sonic's tricks]
Sonic: Olé!
[Blinded by the bear head, the charging bully flies through the front window. Only Tom is left standing due to Sonic saving him from the fight. Tom looks around at the injured patrons and even sees a one of the toiler paper mummies fall to the ground, and Sonic sides up alongside Tom at the bar]
Sonic: So, should we get out of here?
Tom: Yeah, time to go!
[Sonic and Tom rush out of the Piston Pit and make a beeline for the truck]
Sonic: Ha-ha-ha! That was amazing! [Throws his disguise off to the side] Wait a second, did we even pay our tab? It doesn't matteeer!!! Watch this, watch this! I always wanted to do this!
[Sonic jumps up and slides across the hood of Tom's truck in slow-motion, barely noticing the fast food from earlier, and he slides inside the truck]
Sonic: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
Bar patron: Get 'em!
Sonic: [Waving] See ya, suckers!
[The bar patrons chase after the truck]
Sonic: I can't say for sure, but I think they liked me.
Bar patrons: Come on! Don't let 'em get away!
[Sonic and Tom are now far away from the patrons and they're celebrating their victory with laughs]
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Yeah!
Sonic: Yes!
Tom: Ouch! [Holds the side of his face]
Sonic: He got you pretty good!
Tom: I'm all right. I've been hit harder.
Sonic: Did you see how much toilet paper I used?! The next person that goes into that bathroom will have nothing to wipe with!

[Scene Change: Motel, night]

Sonic: The floors were sticky. The crowd was rough.
[Sonic is jumping excitedly on a bed while Tom grabs some ice for his bruises]
Sonic: And the odds were against us. But there was no stopping Donut Lord and the Blue Blur! Scratch another one off my list. [Scratches off the item on his bucket list]
[Tom sits down on the bed while Sonic sits on the other one]
Tom: You are a weird little dude.
[He hands Sonic a makeshift ice pack, and Sonic starts imitating Tom as he tends to his bruises, which makes Tom notice and he gets annoyed]
Tom: Okay.
Sonic: So, what are we gonna do now?!
Tom: I'm gonna pass out watching TV. I think you should too.
Sonic: But this is my last night on Earth! I want to soak up every last second!
Tom: [Still tending to his bruises] All right, anything you can find to do in this room, you knock yourself out.
[Sonic looks around and zips all over the room, doing pretty much everything he can to amuse himself: a self-pillow fight, ripping out tissues, teetering over a light, opening and closing a drawer from the inside, channel surfing, spinning a painting wildly, flushing the toilet, and sweeping with a broom. Finally, he finishes up with a shower and comes back to the bed wearing towels on his head and body, and slippers on his feet]
Sonic: Good times.
[Sonic lets out a fart, which annoys Tom even more]
Tom: Oh, come on. [Waves the air] Oh, that's awful. What did you eat? [Lays down on the bed]
Sonic: I think it's called a chili dog?
Tom: You might want to check your fur on that one, buddy. Hey, so, what's this next planet you're supposed to go to like?
Sonic: It's no Earth, I can tell you that. There's no people, just breathable air and giant mushrooms and stuff.
Tom: [Shrugs] Well, look at it this way; at least you won't be the only "fun-guy."
Sonic: No. Don't ever do that again.
Tom: [Chuckles] I liked it.
Sonic: [Looks around the room] I'm really gonna miss this place. I know I have to leave Earth to be safe, but what if Longclaw was wrong? Maybe I could have a life here.
Tom: [Looks at Sonic, then gets up] All right. We should get some sleep.
Sonic: You sleep. Don't worry about me. I'm gonna stay up all night enjoying Earth while I can!
Tom: Sure, kid. As long as we're on the road by 8:00.
[Tom turns a lamp off and he sees Sonic sleeping peacefully while mumbling in his sleep]
Sonic: [Mummering] I had a chili dog. That's why my farts smell...
[Tom tucks Sonic in and then he notices his bucket list and sees all but one thing crossed off. The final item on his list, "Make a real friend", is seen, which makes Tom a little concerned inside. His troubles worsen when he hears a news report on the TV]
Newscaster: Thomas Wachowski, accused of committing an act of domestic terrorism. Wachowski is considered armed and dangerous. Any information regarding his whereabouts should be reported to local authorities immediately.

[Scene Change: Piston Pit, day]

[Dr. Robotnik's truck is parked outside the rest stop and workers are installing a new window for the Piston Pit while Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone interview the bar patron from the night before]
Agent Stone: Did he say where he was going?
Thug: [Takes a picture of Tom from Agent Stone and looks at it] Maybe. Maybe not. Like I'd ever tell you. [Hands the picture back]
Dr. Robotnik: [Gently pushes Agent Stone aside] Stand down, Agent Stone. This well-meaning citizen obviously doesn't understand the urgency of the matter.
[The thug stands up and looks Dr. Robotnik dead in the eyes]
Thug: Really?
[Dr. Robotnik gives the thug a smug grin and then hurls him out the window yet again]
Dr. Robotnik: Now that's what I call good cop, bad cop.
[As Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone leave the Piston Pit, he holds his hand out and Agent Stone goes for a high 5, but Dr. Robotnik tricks Stone and punches him in the abdomen]
Dr. Robotnik: Hoi! Left yourself open.
[Dr. Robotnik walks away while Agent Stone gasps for air]

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

Dr. Robotnik: Judging by the quickest route to San Francisco, the approximate speed of their vehicle and local weather conditions… [Messes with the control panel] they should be… right about… here.
[The image of the road map zooms in and shows Tom's truck on the tracking]
Agent Stone: That's brilliant, sir.
Dr. Robotnik: Thanks… [Whispering] for nothing.

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

[Sonic and Tom are driving into California]
Sonic: So, what's on your bucket list?
Tom: Who, me?
Sonic: Yeah. Everyone has a bucket list, right?
Tom: Well, sure, but I mean, you're the one leaving Earth, and I'm not planning on dying anytime soon.
Sonic: [Chuckles] Don't be so sure. Your best friend is a magnet for danger.
Tom: Oh, are you anointing yourself as the bestie?
Sonic: Mm-hmm.
Tom: A little presumptuous, but-- I mean-- What? No-- I-I like you, of course, but, you know, we're not best friends.
Sonic: You tucked me in last night.
[Tom chuckles]
Sonic: Fine, fine, fine. Best animal friend.
Tom: That would be my dog, Ozzie.
Sonic: Okay. Let's drop this increasingly humiliating topic of conversation. Bucket list. Give it to me!
Tom: Okay, there is one thing. In Green Hills, I've always felt, I don't know, more like a babysitter than a real cop, you know? So I want a chance to prove myself, under real pressure. I'm gonna move to San Francisco, become a street cop. And, I don't know, see if I have what it takes.
[Tom looks over at Sonic, whose jaw is dropped open in shock]
Tom: What? Why-why is your face doing that?
Sonic: You're leaving Green Hills?!
Tom: [Annoyed] Okay.
Sonic: B-B-But why? Why would you leave Green Hills?
Tom: This may be hard for you to understand, but Green Hills is a small town. It's a very small town.
Sonic: Uh, it's not small! There are hundreds of people.
Tom: That's a small town, dude!
Sonic: It's a perfect town, and the people need you.
Tom: Please, I clean out their gutters, I jump-start their cars in the winter. They could call anybody to do that.
Sonic: Sure, they can call anybody, but they don't. They call you.

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

[Dr. Robotnik begins to set up his capture plan, looking through a holographic screen and watching the road from Tom's perspective]
Dr. Robotnik: Eeny, meeny, miny… Mayhem!
[Dr. Robotnik selects the bot of his choice and sends it out to pursue the duo]

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

[A large battle machine equipped for traveling on roads drives down the road. Cut back to Sonic and Tom]
Sonic: You're not making any sense!
Tom: Would you calm down?
Sonic: You come from a great town with great people and, by my count, zero bad guys trying to kill you!
[The drone car catches up to Sonic and Tom]
Sonic: Besides, what could possibly be more important than protecting the people you care about?
[Tom thinks for a second while Dr. Robotnik initiates a weapon for the drone car, a large harpoon]
Tom: Look, I get your poi--
[The drone car fires the harpoon straight through the back of the truck and catches the dashboard, making Sonic and Tom yell]

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

Dr. Robotnik: Yeah!!!

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

[As Tom swerves to yank the harpoon loose, Dr. Robotnik activates the drone car's winch and it pulls Tom's truck slowly towards it]
Sonic: You know what? I was wrong about you. You're not the Donut Lord at all! You're more like… the Jerk Lord!
Tom: Have you noticed the harpoon stuck in our dash?!
[Tom slams on the gas pedal and the harpoon starts coming loose, and Tom slams the truck against a traffic barrier, knocking Sonic out of the truck and onto the windshield]
Tom: Sonic!
Sonic: [Starts radiating blue energy] I was forced from my home! Your home is perfect, and you're leaving it! Why would you do that?!
Tom: Your body!
Sonic: Oh, no, no, no, no, not again!
Tom: Hey, hold on!
Sonic: Why?!
Tom: Because I'm gonna do this!
[Tom slams on the gas pedal again and the harpoon lets go of the dashboard and Sonic goes flying before he curls into a Spin Attack and runs into the drone car, releasing an electromagnetic pulse that knocks the drone car on its side. Tom then turns his truck around and drives back to Sonic]
Tom: Sonic! [Notices Sonic in his ball form] Sonic!
Sonic: [Uncurls and gets up slowly, groaning] Guess I had a bonus life. [Notices the drone car on its side and runs up to it] Oh, yeah, baby! [Does a funny dance] Sonic, one. Big tank, zero. I'm sorry. Did we get that on camera?
Tom: How are you not dead?
Sonic: I have no idea! Do you see me dancing?
Tom: Yes, I saw you dancing.
Sonic: [To the drone car] Is that all you got?!

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

Dr. Robotnik: No, but thank you for asking.

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

[Dr. Robotnik sends out another robot drone to continue the pursuit]
Sonic: Uh-oh.
Tom: Sonic! Get back in the truck!
Sonic: You go! I'll catch up!
[Tom drives away and Sonic zips back to the truck and climbs in. He then notices a smaller car drone that just deployed from the damaged drone car]
Sonic: I think that tank just had a baby.
[The smaller drone car prepares its weapon, a homing mine dispenser, and shoots homing mines at the truck]
Sonic: Incoming!
[Tom swerves to avoid being caught in the explosion, and the homing mine heads straight for a minivan ahead of Tom]
Boy: It's my turn!
Girl: You just had one! It's mine!
[The boy and the girl are fighting over a tablet]
Father: Hey, stop fighting or I'm taking that thing away!
Girl: Yeah, right, Dad.
[The homing mine attaches itself underneath the minivan and unleashes an electromagnetic pulse, sending it flying and the family screaming until the minivan stops. The boy hands back the tablet. Meanwhile, Sonic climbs to the back of Tom's truck]
Tom: Where are you going?
Sonic: Just drive the car. I'll take care of this. And if I don't make it, just ditch me. You seem good at that.
[Sonic jumps from the back of the truck and runs towards several more homing mines, throwing one at another, skating on two of them, and he finally approaches the smaller drone car with a homing mine in his hand and he peers right into the robot's camera and starts imitating a streamer, which infuriates Dr. Robotnik]
Sonic: Hey, everybody! Welcome back to my livestream! Today, we're destroying robots! Step one, errrap!
[Sonic slams the homing mine down on the smaller drone car and the electromagnetic pulse sends it veering off course and crashing into hills while Sonic watches from inside Tom's truck]
Sonic: Yes, we did it!
[Now an even smaller one-wheeled drone continues the pursuit]
Sonic: We did not do it. Who is this guy?

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

Dr. Robotnik: Ever wonder where your tax dollars are going?

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

Tom: My turn. [Unbuckles himself] Here, just keep us going straight. I put us in cruise control.
[Sonic and Tom switch seats]
Sonic: [At the wheel] Ha-ha, I feel just like Vin Diesel!
[Tom reaches for a flashlight]
Sonic: "It's all about family, Tom."
[The Segway robot brandishes sharp spikes on both sides of the wheel as it catches up with Tom's truck. Tom opens the door and prepares to attack. He swings the flashlight but the robot dodges]
Sonic: Quick suggestion. Roll up into a ball and smash him with your body.
Tom: Whoa! Where'd you learn how to drive?!
Sonic: Here, in this truck. It's happening as we speak!
[Sonic swerves the truck to dodge the robot]
Tom: I can't reach it! Bring him in closer!
Sonic: What?
Tom: Bring it in closer! Hit the brakes!
Sonic: Oh, you mean this one? [Steps on the gas pedal instead]
Tom: The other brakes!!!
[Sonic steps on the brakes, slamming the drone against the door, giving Tom the opportunity he needs and he swings the flashlight upward, knocking it over]
Tom: Ha-ha! Whoo! [Climbs back inside the truck]

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

Dr. Robotnik: Ohhh!!! Give me a big fat break!!!

[Scene Change: Siskiyou County Line, California, day]

[Dr. Robotnik sends out one last robot, a tiny helicopter, and it catches up to Tom's truck]
Sonic: [Notices the helicopter] Aww, this one is cute. Let's keep him.
[The helicopter starts slicing through the metal of the truck, working its way around the window frames]
Tom: Oh, come on!
Sonic: How could something so adorable be so terrible!?
[The helicopter is almost done slicing]
Sonic: You've got car insurance, right?
[The whole window frame comes loose and flies off, causing Sonic and Tom to scream. Then, Sonic grabs the helicopter]
Sonic: Buzz off.
[Sonic yanks off the body, but now the core is stuck to his hand and starts beeping like a time bomb]
Sonic: That doesn't sound good.
Tom: No, beeping is bad! Get rid of it!
Sonic: I'm trying! [Tries to shake the bomb off his hand]
Tom: Throw it out the win-- throw it anywhere!
Sonic: I can't get it off!
Tom: All right, I'm pulling over!
[Tom pulls over and drives a little ways away while Sonic tries to get the bomb off his hand, until he thinks he got rid of it]
Sonic: Did I get it?
Tom: [Notices the bomb stuck to Sonic's forehead] Nope. [Runs to Sonic with a handkerchief] Here, hold still.
[Tom pries the bomb off Sonic's head and throws it far away]
Sonic: It's going, it's going… it's still here.
[Tom holds his hands up and notices the bomb now stuck to his hand and he tries to shake it off as well but Sonic gets it off his hand and tries prying it off his own hand with a stick]
Sonic: Get off me!
[It works as the bomb is now stuck to a large rock]
Sonic: [Laughs] Nailed it!
[The bomb explodes, sending Sonic flying and Tom jumps off the ground from the shockwave. After the dust settles, he sees Sonic lying unconscious on the ground]
Tom: Sonic! [Runs to Sonic and gently turns him over] No, no, no, no… [Presses his ear against Sonic's chest and looks around] Hey, come on. You're all right. Wake up. Wake up.

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

[Dr. Robotnik is panting and breathing heavily with Agent Stone watching]
Agent Stone: Did we get ‘em? No, no, there they are. They're real survivors, those two.
Dr. Robotnik: [Turns to Agent Stone] Can we have a moment?
[Both Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone walk over to a wall]
Dr. Robotnik: Pin yourself to the wall.
[Agent Stone does so and Dr. Robotnik presses his face almost very close to Agent Stone]
Dr. Robotnik: You know, I won't miss you when you're gone. Human beings are unreliable and stupid, and I care very little about them. But my machines are diligent, relentless. THEY'RE EVERYTHING TO ME!
[Dr. Robotnik notices a blue light glowing from inside Agent Stone's coat and pulls out Sonic's quill and inspects it]
Dr. Robotnik: 面白い。
[The word in question, INTERESTING, appears in white letters as Dr. Robotnik speaks it in Japanese, and then it disappears. Dr. Robotnik presses the tip of the quill to his tongue and the energy gives him a shock, making his head twitch violently]
Dr. Robotnik: Hmm?
[He tries handing the quill to Agent Stone, who looks a little confused]

[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day]

[Tom drives Sonic to Rachel's house and carries him to the front door wrapped in a blanket]
Tom: Come on, buddy. You're gonna be all right. You'll be all right.
[Tom knocks on the door and Rachel answers]
Tom: Is Maddie here?
Rachel: No, no, no. Not today. Goodbye! [Slams the door in Tom's face]
Tom: It's an emergency! [Tries to get in]
Rachel: Bye-bye!
Tom: Rachel, stop! Please! Maddie! Don't do this! This is important!
Maddie: [Walks in and sees Tom trying to get in] Oh, my God! Rachel, let him in!
[Tom runs inside]
Rachel: I am calling the police. No, I am calling the FBI. I am calling the CIA.
Tom: Stop, don't do that.
Rachel: I am calling your mother!
Maddie: Okay, got it!
Tom: Maddie, can we talk?
Maddie: Tom, what's going on?! You're-you're all over the news, I've been trying to call you!
Tom: I had to ditch my phone so they couldn't track me.
Rachel: Ditch his phone?
Maddie: Track you?
Jojo: [Run to Tom] Uncle Tommy! [Hugs Tom]
Tom: Jojo, hey!
Rachel: [Pulls Jojo away from Tom] Now your niece is an accessory to treason!
Tom: No, she's not.
Maddie: Would you calm down?
Rachel: Calm down?! I will not calm down!
[Ozzie walks in as Maddie and Rachel argue with each other]
Maddie: Enough!
Tom: Yes, calm down. Stop talking.
[Ozzie barks at him]
Tom: No. Ozzie, please. Good to see you, too.
[Tom leans forward a little, which almost gives Sonic away]
Rachel: Oh, Little Lord Baby Jesus! What is that, Tom? Is that plutonium?! Is it e-mails?
Tom: Yes, it's plutonium. [To Maddie] Can we please go in the other room and talk--
[Ozzie barks again]
Tom: Stop it, Ozzie! Quit it!
Rachel: This is why I told you he was no good!
Maddie: I'm not engaging!
Tom: No, Ozzie! Quit it!
[Ozzie starts tugging on the blanket and everyone is arguing all at once]
Tom: Ozzie, no! Ozzie, no!
[Ozzie yanks the blanket off, revealing Sonic and everyone stops talking]
Rachel: Oh, catch me, Jojo. [Faints]
Tom: [Panting] Oh, thank God.
[Maddie pulls Jojo close to her]
Tom: Can I get a glass of water?

[Scene Change: Dr. Robotnik's truck interior, day]

[Dr. Robotnik puts on a pair of headphones and opens a music playlist called Tunes of Anarchy on his holographic computer, and the song "Where Evil Grows" by The Poppy Family plays as he spins around in his chair and begins to analyze Sonic's quill. He connects some power conductors to the quill, which causes the power inside his lab to go out. Dr. Robotnik is now carrying a lighter to see where he's going and he opens up the breaker panel and turns on the backup power and the music resumes with Dr. Robotnik dancing and lights flashing as the quill is inserted into a capsule. Dr. Robotnik then starts playing holographic videos of a snowcap and a Tyrannosaurus Rex running down the street and dances along with them to fit the theme like skiing down the slopes and running away from the dinosaur. During the T-Rex chase, Dr. Robotnik mimics his head getting chomped by the dinosaur and keeps dancing as the lights in his truck flash like strobe lights. And as Dr. Robotnik dances, he doesn't notice Agent Stone dancing with him. Eventually, he does notice and he screams as the music and flashing lights stop]
Agent Stone: [Holding two coffee cups] I just thought you might like a latte with steamed Austrian goat milk.
Dr. Robotnik: What do I look like, an imbecile? Of course I want a latte. I love the way you make them!!!
[Dr. Robotnik and Agent Stone hear a beeping noise and they see the power level of Sonic's quill is at "UNLIMITED", which makes Dr. Robotnik grin evilly]
Dr. Robotnik: Ready the prototype. With this kind of power, my machines can finally reach their full potential.

[Scene Change: Kitchen, Rachel's house, day]

[Sonic is lying unconscious on the kitchen table]
Tom: He's gonna be okay, Jojo.
[Maddie walks in with her first aid kit]
Tom: Oh, thank God. He's gonna be okay, right?
Maddie: I'm a vet, Tom. I don't even know what I'm looking at here.
Tom: He's a hedgehog, or so he says.
Maddie: It talks?
Tom: Almost constantly.
Maddie: Okay. [Feels for Sonic's pulse] Holy…
Tom: What?
Maddie: His pulse is super fast.
Tom: That actually might be normal for him. I don't know. You gotta help him, Maddie.
Maddie: I don't know his physiology. He doesn't seem to have any broken bones. He's just really banged up. [Takes off Sonic's shoes] Oh, look at his poor little feet.
[Jojo looks at Sonic's worn-out shoes]
Tom: Hang in there, buddy. You're gonna be all right.
[Jojo walks out of the kitchen and past Rachel, who is tied up in the living room]
Rachel: Jojo? Untie your mother. Jojo! Untie Mommy.
[Jojo ignores Rachel as she goes upstairs]
Rachel: Sweetie. Jojo! [Looks around] I have to go to the bathroom.
Tom: He's gonna be okay, right? He'll snap out of this. He'll wake up soon? Oh, smelling salts! Don't you have, like, vet smelling salts, like, for cats or parakeets or something?
Maddie: No. They don't make cat smelling salts.
Tom: They should.
Maddie: I have human smelling salts in my human first aid kit. [Opens up the kit and takes out the smelling salts] Okay. [Cracks the capsule and holds it close to Sonic's nose] Here we go.
Tom: Come on, buddy.
[As soon as he gets a whiff of the smelling salts, Sonic immediately wakes up and talks very fast]
Sonic: Gotta go fast!
[Sonic starts zipping and speeding all over the kitchen before coming to a complete stop back at the table]
Sonic: Where am I? What year is it? Is The Rock president?
Tom: Whoa, whoa, whoa, buddy, you're okay. Calm down.
Sonic: [To Maddie] Oh, hi, Pretzel Lady!
Maddie: Hi... Tom?
Tom: Yeah?

[Sonic waves to Maddie]

Maddie: Can I talk to you, please? [Leads Tom out of the kitchen and faces Sonic] Space hedgehog, stay there. Try to rest. [Closes the doors]
Sonic: You got it. I am great at resting. I rest faster than anybody.
Tom: Still talking.
Maddie: Um, first of all, can we take a moment to acknowledge how under control I've been?
Tom: Uh, amazing.
Maddie: Didn't freak out.
Tom: No.
Maddie: Totally calm. [Fist bumps Tom]
Tom: Thank you.
Maddie: Second of all… what the heck is going on?! Is that thing an alien?!
Tom: Okay, so, remember how Crazy Carl is always going on about the Blue Devil?
Maddie: The Blue Devil! That's him? He's real?
Tom: Yeah.
Maddie: What is he doing here? What are you doing here?
Tom: I kinda, sorta, shot our little blue friend with your tranq gun.
Maddie: No, you did not. [Gives Tom a suspicious look and crosses her arms]
Tom: I didn't mean to. Okay, this is kinda hard for me to explain. And it's gonna sound a little bit crazy. He has to get to the Transamerica building, and I promised I'd take him.
Rachel: Uh-uh! Aliens? Maddie, your husband's lost his mind. Use this as an opportunity to leave him. No one would judge you!
[Back in the kitchen, Jojo returns to Sonic and presents him with brand new running shoes in red with white straps]
Jojo: So you won't hurt your feet anymore.
Sonic: Really?
Jojo: Uh-huh.
Sonic: [Takes the shoes] No one's ever given me a gift before. I gotta check that off my bucket list.
[Sonic tries on the shoes and grows excited over them, which makes Jojo very happy]
Sonic: All right! Looking good!
Maddie: Okay, you said you wanted to help people in real trouble, right? Well, that's what you're doing. Blue alien hedgehogs still count as people, right?
Tom: I think so, too.
Maddie: Yeah.
Tom: I think.
Maddie: Okay.
Tom: I love you. Did I tell you that already?
[Maddie starts leading Tom away]
Tom: I don't deserve you. You know that?
Rachel: I know that.
Sonic: [Stares at Ozzie] So, you're supposed to be Tom's "best friend" that he won't shut up about.
[Ozzie has his tongue out]
Sonic: Well, I don't see the appeal.
[Ozzie walks over to Sonic and starts licking him, which makes him laugh]
Sonic: Stop! That is very gross!
Maddie: [Walks downstairs] Hey.
Tom: Hey. So, my truck still runs, but it's pretty much totaled. You think your sister would mind if we borrowed her car?
Rachel: You have got to be kidding me!
Maddie: She'll be fine.
Tom: Yeah, let's do that.
Maddie: Mm-hmm.
[Tom and Maddie walk out, leaving Rachel tied up]
Rachel: This is my house!!

[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day]

[Sonic is driving Rachel's beat-up car very dangerously through the streets of San Francisco]
Sonic: Coming through! Whoa, now, this is my turn, and I go around him! Sorry! And, perfect park! [Parks lopsidedly at the curb]
Driver: What are you, crazy?!
Tom: [Exits the car] Is there anything you didn't hit?
Maddie: Why did we let the alien drive?
Sonic: Hey, I got us here. And please, 5 stars.
[Sonic, Tom, and Maddie stare out at the towering Transamerica building]
Sonic: So, this is it?
Tom: That's it. That's your pyramid.
Sonic: Wow, look at that thing!
Maddie: What happens now?
[As soon as Maddie finishes her question, Sonic speeds away]
Maddie: Oh! He's... gone.
Tom: Yep.
Sonic: [Comes back to Tom and Maddie] No good. You need a special key to get to the roof.
Maddie: What now?
Tom: Time for me to abuse the power entrusted to me.

[Scene Change: Transamerica reception, day]

[Tom and Maddie walk to the reception desk, with Tom carrying Sonic in a duffle bag. Tom and Maddie nod at each other and they approach the front desk]
Tom: We got a jumper on the roof. Gotta get up there fast or we're gonna have a human pancake on our hands. [Produces his badge]
Receptionist: You came all the way from Montana.
Tom: Yeah. That's how serious it is.
[There's a prolonged pause as everyone looks at each other until the receptionist hands Tom the key]
Receptionist: Okay.
[Tom takes the key]
Tom: You just saved a life.
[Tom and Maddie wait for the elevator to be taken to the roof of the building. As they wait, a businessman and a businesswoman join them, also waiting]
Sonic: How much longer? I can't breathe in here! Hello? Anybody there?
Businesswoman: Do you have your child in that bag?
Tom: No. I mean, yes, it's a child, but it's not mine.
Businessman: It's not your child.
Tom: Relax. I'm a cop, okay? Plus, he likes it in there, don't you, buddy? [Shakes the bag a little]
Sonic: Why would I like it in here? This is worse than the dog cage you had me in earlier!
Tom: Such a kidder.
[Maddie laughs with him as she closes the zipper]
Maddie: Okay.
Sonic: No, I'm scared of the dark!
[The businessman and businesswoman slowly move away]
Sonic: Is anybody there?

[Scene Change: Transamerica roof top, day]

[Sonic, Tom, and Maddie get to the roof of the Transamerica building and they let Sonic out of the duffel bag, who is coughing and gagging and wearing a pair of underwear on his head]
Sonic: Ugh! What were you keeping in this bag? A jar of pickled farts?! [Takes the underwear off his head and stuffs it back into the bag]
Tom: All right, all right. What are we looking for?
[Sonic sees his Ring satchel and retrieves it and runs back to Tom and Maddie, holding a ring]
Sonic: This.
Maddie: Okay. What happens now?
Sonic: Now, all I have to do is think of where I want the other end of the ring to appear, and I throw it.
Tom: So, that's it? We did it?
Sonic: Yeah! We did it!
Tom: Hey, sorry we didn't get to do everything on your bucket list, pal.
Sonic: It's okay. I did the ones I needed the most.
Maddie: You two are so cute.
Tom: Oh, please. What?
Sonic: We are not.
Tom: No. We're not cute.
Sonic: We are a couple of loose cannons just living by our own rules.
Tom: Exactly.
Maddie: Really?
Tom: Yeah.
Sonic: And our rules include expressing heartfelt emotion.
Maddie: If you say so.
Sonic: Okay, then.
Tom: All right. Um, you gotta go, right?
Sonic: Yeah, I gotta go.
Tom: I gotta go. We gotta go.
Sonic: See-- All right, bye-bye. [Turns away for a moment, then turns back to Tom and Maddie] Just one more thing.
[Tom steps forward and kneels down to Sonic's level]
Sonic: I'm sorry I was so hard on you. I know it's a tough decision for you to leave Green Hills. Walking away from something you care about has to be painful.
Tom: You're not sure you really want to go, huh?
Sonic: I don't want to go, but I can't stay. As long as I'm here, I put everyone in danger. I can't do that. I just want you to know that these last two days have been the best two days of my life.
[Sonic smiles and so does Tom as he stands back up and walks back over to Maddie]
Tom: You know, I never thought I'd say this, but, I'm actually gonna miss you, you little blue devil.
Sonic: I'll miss you too, Donut Lord. Thank you.
Tom: For what?
Sonic: For saving my life.
[Sonic turns away, reaches into his satchel, and pulls a Ring out. He tosses it, only to have it bounce off of one of Dr. Robotnik's flying drones, and many more of them start closing in on the trio]
Sonic: Okay, did someone leave their "Find My Phone" on?
[Sonic steps back a few feet but stops at the edge of the roof, and he sees a flying aircraft overhead, which is Dr. Robotnik's Eggpod. The ship hovers over to the trio and the cockpit opens, revealing Dr. Robotnik in an entirely different outfit and with an evil grin on his face]
Dr. Robotnik: Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski. Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
Tom: [To Maddie] It's the government whack job who keeps trying to kill us. [To Dr. Robotnik] Unsuccessfully!
[The remark makes Dr. Robotnik scowl]
Tom: Nice of you to swing by on your way to Comic-Con.
Maddie: Yeah, what are you wearing?
Dr. Robotnik: [Looks at his suit and the back to the trio] It's a flight suit, designed to modulate my body temperature and reduce [Through clenched teeth] drag!
Tom: Yeah, and you still are one.
Dr. Robotnik: Oh-hoo! Good one. You are catching fire, Thomas. Oh, and speaking of heat, I see you've taken a lover. Does she have a name, or should we just call her "collateral damage"? [Chuckles and drums the sides of the Eggpod with glee]
Tom: Hey, watch your mouth! Unless you want a little more of what I gave you earlier. [To Maddie] I punched him in the face.
Sonic: Oh! He punched him right in the face! It was awesome!
Dr. Robotnik: The time for talking is over! [Through clenched teeth] It's time to push buttons!
Sonic: Your flying eggs are pretty impressive, Mr. Eggman, but let's face it, you'll never catch me!
Dr. Robotnik: Confidence! A fool's substitute for intelligence.
[Dr. Robotnik opens a button capsule as the energy from Sonic's quill powers the Eggpod and the flying drones ready their weapons as well]
Sonic: That's not good.
Tom: Sonic, I know you got the super speed and everything, but Maddie and I--
Sonic: Totally defenseless? Probably gonna get blown up?
Maddie: Pretty much, yeah.
Sonic: Don't worry. I know exactly what to do.
[Sonic jumps up to the side wall and jumps forward, pushing Tom and Maddie off the roof, and they scream]
Dr. Robotnik: [Looks down from inside the Eggpod, feigning shock] I was not expecting that... But I was expecting not to expect something, so it doesn't count.
[The flying drones fire their weapons at Sonic, but now time seems to have stopped and everything is frozen in place as Sonic's awareness is increased and he stands there, tapping his foot and looking at his wrist. He then plays around with some of the missiles and bullets from the Egg Drone weapons and is able to destroy most of them. But Dr. Robotnik pushes the button and the quill fully charges the Eggpod and grants him access to Sonic's timescale. Sonic makes a shooting hands gesture to two more Egg Drones, but Dr. Robotnik fires a laser blast at Sonic, which he barely escapes from, causing him to enter slight delirium. Sonic recovers from his trance to find Tom and Maddie still falling and tries to reach for a Ring]
Sonic: Come on! [Tries air swimming to reach the Ring] Come on, come on, come on!
[Sonic plucks one of his quills out and uses it to grab the Ring and he speeds towards the falling couple and tosses the Ring, opening a portal to a barn for them and they land safely in piles of hay while Sonic loses control]
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no, no!
[Sonic hits several tree branches and lands on the street. Rings, rubble, and broken drones rain down around him]

[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, barn, day]

[At the barn, Farmer Zimmer greets Tom and Maddie]
Farmer Zimmer: Oh! Hi, Tom! Glad you're here. Could use some help. Old Bessie's about to give birth!
[Old Bessie moos]
Tom: Give me a minute.

[Scene Change: San Francisco, California, day]

[Sonic recovers from his fall but notices Dr. Robotnik hovering in the air]
Dr. Robotnik: Can I give you one genius piece of advice? Don't run. It'll only hurt more if you do. And it's bad for your joints, they proved it.
Sonic: All right, Eggman. You wanna get fast? Let's get fast!
[Sonic scrambles quickly to gather up all of his Rings and speeds off down the street]
Dr. Robotnik: [Puts on his flight goggles] The hard way it is.
[The cockpit to the Eggpod closes and Dr. Robotnik gives chase to Sonic, firing laser blasts at him, only to damage certain road sections. He turns left to continue the pursuit]
Dr. Robotnik: That was an illegal left, by the way!
[The same freeze from the beginning of the film is shown and Sonic picks up the story]
Sonic (narrating): So, here we are again! We've been through so much together! Now you understand why there's a psychotic robot doctor chasing a supersonic blue hedgehog. Want to know how it ends? Yeah, me too.
[The pursuit continues as Sonic continues to dodge laser blasts from Dr. Robotnik, even sliding under a large trailer to avoid them]
Sonic: How is this possible?! No one's ever caught up to me before!
[Sonic holds a ring, planning the next location]

[Scene Change: Paris, France, day]

[A mime is entertaining a little girl and her mother. When the mime makes a circular movement with his hands, a Ring portal opens up behind them, and Sonic zips through]
Sonic: Coming through!
[Dr. Robotnik follows behind and the mime moves out of the way]
Mime: Sacré bleu!
Dr. Robotnik: Excusez-moi, monsieur!

[Scene Change: China, day]

[The pursuit continues along the Great Wall of China]
Sonic: Here we go! Room to open it up!
[The two increase their speed until Sonic tosses another ring, opening a new portal]
Sonic: I can't lose him!

[Scene Change: Egypt, day]

[Dr. Robotnik fires multiple laser blasts from the Eggpod, destroying the Sphinx in its wake. Sonic skids to a stop in the sand]
Sonic: If you can't beat ‘em, blind ‘em.
[Sonic catches up to Dr. Robotnik and uses his speed to create a tornado of sand, which disrupts Dr. Robotnik's visual contact]
Dr. Robotnik: Lost… visual contact! [Sees Sonic speed up the Great Pyramid of Giza] You're not allowed up there! It's one of the 7 Wonders!
[Dr. Robotnik blasts out of the tornado, and just as Sonic opens another ring portal, Dr. Robotnik fires a laser blast at Sonic, sending him flying through the portal and hurtling him onto the streets of Green Hills where he lays motionless and unconscious]

[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, night]

[Dr. Robotnik menacingly appears through the portal as it closes. Tom, Maddie, and the farmer rush to see what the commotion is all about when Dr. Robotnik laughs maniacally and takes off his flight goggles]
Dr. Robotnik: You're an astonishing little creature. It'll be fun to take you back to the lab for a litany of invasive exploratory procedures. Any last words?
Sonic: [With his remaining strength] Guac… I like that word…
[Sonic slumps over on the ground and Tom appears behind Dr. Robotnik via a Ring portal]
Dr. Robotnik: I don't have to tell you how many scientific breakthroughs have been made possible by animal testing. You're being very selfish.
Tom: Going my way?
[Dr. Robotnik notices Tom]
Dr. Robotnik: What the--
[Tom punches Dr. Robotnik, knocking his flight glasses off his head, and the two start fighting inside the Eggpod. Dr. Robotnik grabs Tom by his shirt]
Dr. Robotnik: Who the hell do you think you are?!
[Tom breaks free and punches Dr. Robotnik again and grabs him]
Tom: I'm the Donut Lord, you son of a--
[Tom gets elbowed by Dr. Robotnik and he is thrown off the Eggpod when Dr. Robotnik jerks the steering yoke and Tom lands on the ground]
Dr. Robotnik: Autopilot, adjust!
[Dr. Robotnik puts his flight goggles back on his head and Maddie rushes to Tom]
Dr. Robotnik: Why? Why would you throw your life away for this...thing? That's why I don't have friends. Next thing you know, you're somebody's best man, they want to have the wedding out of town... Like nobody has anything better to do! Anyway, where were we? Oh, yes--you were about to die.
[Suddenly, a bullet ricochets off the Eggpod and we see that it was Wade who fired his gun]
Wade: That's our sheriff you're messing with.
[Tom looks up as some of his friends join Wade]
Crazy Carl: And our Blue Devil, [Holds up a chainsaw] who, as everyone can see, is a very real creature and not at all invented by me!
[Wade gently pushes the chainsaw away]
Wade: Careful. Just-- just put it away.
Maddie: [Looks over to an unconscious Sonic] Tom?
[Tom also sees Sonic unconscious in the street, and both of them feel the grief and guilt]
Dr. Robotnik: I don't mean to be indelicate here, but someone should get some ice, keep the body fresh.
[Tom lowers his head]
Dr. Robotnik: He's just a silly little alien. He didn't belong here!
[Tom looks over at Dr. Robotnik and stands up]
Tom: That little alien... knew more about being human... than you ever will. His name was Sonic. This was his home. And he was my friend.
[Upon hearing Tom's speech, Sonic immediately opens his eyes and stands up as his body is now supercharged with his energy, leaving Dr. Robotnik bewildered, and Tom and Maddie smiling]
Tom: He's all yours! [Leads Maddie out of the way] Everyone get back!
[Everyone else moves out of the way]
Sonic: I think you have something that belongs to me!
[Sonic clenches a fist, which starts to siphon the energy from his quill in Dr. Robotnik's Eggpod until it is no longer glowing and the energy has now been transferred back to Sonic]
Sonic: This is my power, and I'm not using it to run away anymore. I'm using it to protect… my… friends! [Dr. Robotnik puts on his flight goggles and readies the Eggpod's concealed weapons, the laser markers pointing at Sonic, who sets a start position on the road. Dr. Robotnik grins evilly and fires the weapons and Sonic leaps into action, dodging the projectiles and starts to bombard the vehicle with body slams, each barrage increasing in speed until the Eggpod is now disabled, which infuriates Dr. Robotnik]
Dr. Robotnik: Now, you've done it!
Sonic: Guess what, Eggman? I'm not leaving Earth. YOU are! Donut Lord?
[Tom nods and takes position behind Dr. Robotnik and throws a Ring, opening a portal to the Mushroom Planet. Then, both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik charge at each other, but with Sonic landing a powerful blow to the Eggpod, reducing it to useless junk, sending it and a screaming Dr. Robotnik through the portal and it closes, sealing Dr. Robotnik away. The electricity emanating from Sonic fades away with the crowd cheering for Sonic's victory as Tom reunites with him]
Tom: I told you, you got this.
Sonic: Hey, we got this.
[Tom holds his hand up for a high-5, which excites Sonic so much, he happily laughs and runs around in a circle at super speed before jumping up and giving Tom a high-5, and Tom hands the Ring satchel back to Sonic]
Tom: I think these belong to you.
Sonic: Thank you very much.
[Before Tom gives Sonic back the Rings, he makes one final "rule"]
Tom: No more pushing people off buildings.
Sonic: You know I can't promise that.
[Tom gives the Ring satchel back to Sonic]
Tom: You did pretty good, space 'hog.
Sonic: Thanks, Donut Lord.
Maddie: You're gonna have to explain this "Donut Lord" thing?
Tom: Nope, sorry.
[Maddie laughs]
Tom: That's between me and the little guy. Right?
[Sonic nods]
Tom: We got our own thing, you got your thing with your… sister.
Maddie: Oh, my God, my sister.

[Scene Change: Rachel's house, day]

[Jojo runs around the house while Rachel is still tied up]
Jojo: Gotta go fast, gotta go fast, gotta go fast, gotta go fast!
Rachel: Jojo, put on my Fitbit… so I can at least get some steps.

[Scene Change: Green Hills, Montana, night]

Maddie: We can never go back there.
Tom: I mean, are we?
[Tom and Maddie exchange looks]
Tom: ‘Cause it kinda feels like we're home right now.
Maddie: Really?
Tom: I kinda feel like I checked the "save a life" box off my bucket list. Now all I want to do is spend my life with the people I care about. I want to check that box.
Maddie: Yeah, I like that.
[Tom and Maddie hug]
Wade: All right, everybody. Nothing to see here. [Claps his hands together] Let's disperse.
[Everyone goes back to their normal routine]
Wade: Just another ordinary day in Green Hills. Carl, I'll take that chainsaw.
[Sonic, Tom, and Maddie walk home together while Wade continues to disperse the crowd]
Wade: Come on, let's go! You act like you've never seen a fight between an intergalactic space rodent and a robot with a doctorate!
[Scene fades out]

[Scene: Green Hills, Montana, day]

[Everything is back to normal and Tom and Maddie are fixing their house from the attack a couple of days before]
Tom: You got enough there?
Maddie: Yes, Mr. Manager.
Tom: Need any more? [Playfully sticks a roller brush in front of Maddie]
Maddie: You get that away!
[Suddenly, a knock at the front door. Tom answers it to find Commander Walters on the doorstep]
Commander Walters: Mr. and Mrs. Wachowski?
Tom: Yes?
[Commander Walters reaches into his coat and hands them an envelope]
Commander Walters: A token of appreciation for your government for keeping quiet about recent incidents which never occurred.
Tom: Wow! [Takes the envelope] Wonder what it is.
Maddie: Money to fix the house?
Tom: Letter from the president?
Commander Walters: You'll see.
Tom: Okay.
[Tom opens the envelope, revealing a $50 gift card to Olive Garden from Uncle Sam]
Maddie: Olive Garden.
Tom: Yeah, heh. The way you said "You'll see" made me think it was something better than the things we said.
Commander Walters: Have you tried their Never Ending Pasta Bowl? It never ends!
Tom: That sounds… fancy.
Maddie: Mm-hmm. Well, thank you. We appreciate the gesture.
Tom: Oh, hey. I guess we can close the file on that Robotnik guy, huh? Just disappeared.
Commander Walters: I'm sorry, but no such person exists or ever has existed.
Tom: I wish that were true.
Commander Walters: You haven't, by any chance, been in contact with a certain alien creature since the incident, have you? Uncle Sam would love to have a chat with him. Very casual. Brunch, perhaps.
Tom: Oh, you mean the little blue guy? No. No, nothing. No.
Maddie: Mm-mmm.
Tom: Doubt we'll ever hear from him again.
Maddie: Mm-mmm.
Commander Walters: Very well.
Tom: Okay. Thank you.
Maddie: Great.
[Commander Walters glances inside the house but Tom slowly closes the door]
Tom: Yep.
[Commander Walters tries to peek inside a little more, but the door is now fully closed]
Tom: To be honest, I'm pretty pumped about the pasta bowl.
[Tom and Maddie walk into the living room and Sonic pokes his head up from behind the couch]
Sonic: So, do you guys wanna watch a movie or what?
Maddie: Sorry, buddy. It's a school night. It's time for you to go back to your cave.
Sonic: What?! [Jumps up from behind and sits on the couch next to Ozzie] It's 3:00 in the afternoon!
Tom: You know how you get when you're tired. Come on.
Sonic: Me? I'm not like anything. Ugh, you guys are so uncool!
Tom: Yeah, yeah, we know.
[Sonic starts making his way to the front door]
Tom: Hey, buddy, where you going?
Sonic: You said I have to go back to my cave.
Tom: We did.
[Tom and Maddie smile. Tom opens the hatch to the attic and they let Sonic go in first, and he is visibly surprised that all of his possessions from the cave in the woods are now in the attic]
Sonic: Oh, my-- Are you kidding me? I can't believe it. How did you-- It's-- it's all here.
[Tom and Maddie climb up as well and Sonic starts zipping around his possessions and furniture]
Sonic: Look at this! Are you kidding?! And the beanbag?! No way! How did you even get this?! And you got it all the way over--
[Sonic laughs, does a funny dance on his bed and jumps up and down a few times]
Sonic: I love it, I love it, I love it, I love it!
[Sonic lays down and then sits up as Tom and Maddie sit next to him]
Maddie: Well, welcome home.
Sonic: Thank you, so much.
[As the camera zooms out of the attic and shows a bird's eye view of Green Hills, Ozzie starts barking]
Sonic: Oh, no, you don't! No second-best animal friends allowed in my room.
[Ozzie barks again]
Sonic: Wait, what are you doing? Stay away from me! Stop it! I'm warning you, I've got nunchucks! Hey, stop! Okay, you can stay!
[The film's logo from the beginning of the movie is shown once more and we see one final scene before the credits]

[Scene Change: Mushroom Planet, day]

[We see that Dr. Robotnik has completely lost his sanity, he is looking zany, and looking at his reflection in a puddle of water as he finishes shaving himself completely bald, and his mustache has long grown-out]
Dr. Robotnik: My grasp on sanity remains... absolute. [Turns his head] Isn't that right, Agent Stone?
[We see a stone carving of what is supposed to be Agent Stone. Dr. Robotnik picks up the rock]
Dr. Robotnik: Why don't you get a head start? [Tosses the rock] Do some Rock-Connaissance! [Laughs maniacally] ROCK-CONNAISSANCE! Come on, that's hilarious! [Punches a mushroom] What's the matter with you?! [Picks up his doctor's log, which reads, DOCTOR'S LOG: DAY 87] Here's the "sitch": Uninhabited planet, [Picks up a large backpack and puts it on his back] no resources, no supplies, no apparent way home... A lesser man would die here. [Holds up a small canister housing Sonic's quill] I'll be home by Christmas.
[Dr. Robotnik puts the capsule away and puts his flight goggles on and starts imitating a robot, making servo noises with each turn of his body as he walks. He sees the stone carving of Agent Stone again, picks it up, and throws it one last time]
Dr. Robotnik: ROCK-CONNAISSANCE!!! [Laughing maniacally] Come on! Cheer up!
[The credits roll with a 16-Bit Sega Genesis retelling of the entire film while "Speed Me Up" by Wiz Khalifa, Lil Yachty, Ty Dolla $ign, and Sueco The Child plays]

[Scene: Green Hills, Montana, day]

[The camera zooms out of the view of Green Hills before showing leaves rustling as a Ring portal opens and a yellow two-tailed fox pops out, which is revealed to be Tails, and he is reading the energy levels from Sonic from a small handheld device]
Tails: If these readings are accurate, he's here. I found him! I just hope I'm not too late.
[Tails uses his tails like a helicopter to fly over the forests and into the town and the rest of the credits roll]
Transcripts

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