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Sonic Boom
Robot Battle Royale (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Robot Battle Royale".

[Scene: Amy's House, day.]

[Sonic, Knuckles, Amy and Sticks are watching TV until Amy switches the TV off.]
Sonic: I like that movie, but the beginning was kind of slow.
Amy: Sonic, you just don't understand how movies and TV shows work. They always have a little filler material before someone bursts in to get the real story started.
[Tails bursts in to the house in excitement]
Tails: Guys! Check out my newest invention: a Super Antenna! It's so strong that when you hook it up to a TV, it picks up broadcasts from the past. [Switches on the TV]
TV: This hour of radio is sure to get your toes a-tapping. Brought to you by lead-based paint, and asbestos. The perfect combination for your baby's nursery.
Amy: Can it play music from our childhood?
Tails: It will in about 80 years.
[Sonic, Knuckles and Sticks groan]
Sonic: [Miserably] Great job, Tails.
Knuckles: I think it's a useful invention.
Tails: Thanks, Knuckles!
Knuckles: [Picks up the antenna and uses it to scratch his back] It makes a great backscratcher.
Sticks: Not bad, Knuckles.
Sonic: Looks like there's another inventor in town!

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Tails is busy fixing one of his inventions when Knuckles shows up.]
Knuckles: Hey, fellow inventor!
Tails: Knuckles, I'm kinda busy right now.
Knuckles: See that light switch over there? Sure is far away right?
Tails: Uh-huh.
Knuckles: There's got to be a better way. Now, there is! With "Remote 2000".
[Knuckles witches the light off and on with a stone attached to a long stick]
Knuckles: Pretty sweet, huh?
Tails: [Unconvinced] It sure is... something.
Knuckles: Eh, well. Now that I'm a bonafide inventor, I figured we could collaborate. You can learn from me and, uh, who knows? I might even learn something from you.
Tails: I doubt it. Inventing takes dedication, tenacity, stick-to-itiveness, perseverance, a good thesaurus, and...
Knuckles: What's that?
Tails: Oh, that's my Fly Swatter. It homes in on insects and...
Knuckles: Neat. Can I invent that?
Tails: What? No, I already invented it. You're looking right at it.
Knuckles: Gotcha. Can I invent this? [Points to a turkey sandwich]
Tails: That's a turkey sandwich.
Knuckles: Interesting... I know! I could invent a device that cuts things - The "Scissors 2000". Ooh, or how about a machine to brown bread - the "Toaster 2000"?
Tails: You sure you don't have someplace else you have to be?
Knuckles: Nope. It's just you and me, all day. It's a little thing I invented called "Friendship 2000".
[Knuckles wraps his arm around Tails. Tails groans.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Amy: [Laughing] He tried to invent a turkey sandwich?
Tails: That was one of his better ideas. How do I tell him he's not an inventor without hurting his feelings?
Sonic: Don't worry. He'll get over this "inventor phase" before you know it.
Knuckles: Tails, you gotta see this! Oh, sorry guys. Inventor stuff. You wouldn't understand.
Tails: You were saying.
Knuckles: Check it out. Robot Battle Royale. It's an anything goes tournament for inventors to test their mettle with metal-on-metal action! You in?
Tails: Uhhh, I don't know, Knuckles. Not sure that's the best use of my time.
Knuckles: Oh, I get it. You're chicken!
Sonic, Amy and Sticks: Ohhh!
Amy: Oh no, he didn't.
Tails: I'm not chicken. I just don't have anything to prove.
Knuckles: Oh, that's all right, Tails. It's gotta be tough knowing there's a new hot shot inventor in town and, you're just yestersay's news.
Sonic, Amy and Sticks: Ohhh!
Tails: Knuckles, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but I'm really not interested.
Knuckles: Not intersted in losing... to me!
Sonic: Boom!
Amy: Shots fired!
Sticks: Dang, son!
Tails: [Angrily] That's it. Knuckles, you're not an inventor. You just add the number 2000 to the end of things that already exist. If you want to be embarrasing in front of everybody in this competition, then fine, I accept your challenge.
Sonic, Amy and Sticks: Yeah!
Knuckles: Let me ask you guys a question. Are you tired of beating turkey and bread in separate bites?

[Scene Change: Competition site, outside the tent, day.]

[Mayor Fink walks down the red carpet and analyzes the participants and their robots, looking at Child Monkey's robot first.]
Mayor Fink: Nice!
[Mayor Fink continues walking until he spots Dave the Intern's robot.]
Mayor Fink: Impressive!
[Mayor Fink continues walking until he spots Knuckles' robot, the Vacuu-Fan 2000.]
Mayor Fink: They can't all be winners...
[Mayor Fink continues walking until he spots Tails' robot, Hypnobot.]
Mayor Fink: Oh! That's quite the robot you got there, Tails.
Tails: Thanks. Hypnobot's able to take control of any opposing robot within a hundred feet, Mr. Mayor.
Mayor Fink: Oh, please! Mr. Mayor's my father. You can just call me Mayor.
[Suddendly the ground starts to shake and Eggman and his robot approaches]
Dr. Eggman: A robot brawl! Finally, some culture in this town.
Tails: Eggman!
Dr. Eggman: Oh please. Eggman is my father. You can just call me Dr. Eggman.
Mayor Fink: Time to get started! I'm going to need the override codes for both of your robots.
[All the participants hand over their override codes to Mayor Fink. With all the codes collected, he locks them up in a safe. He puts a key inside a cannonball onto the cannon. He lights up the fuse and the cannon fires, shooting the cannonball far away into the sea.]
Tails: But what if you need the override codes?
Mayor Fink: Oh, that wasn't the key to the locked box.

[Scene Change: Competition site, inside the tent, day.]

Mayor Fink: Tonight, you'll see the finest, most technically advanced, modern marvel ever to grate our fair town. [The audience is unconvinced] And they're gonna smash each other to bits! [The silence turns into wild cheering] Now, without any further ado, let's get ready to watch what's going to happen!
[Tails and Dave the Intern's robots are being introduced first.]
Dave the Intern: Prepare to get fries with that.
[The weapon on his robot starts firing pellets shaped as fries towards Hypnobot. Hypnobot dodges and fires a laser back to Dave's robot, which malfunctions and breaks down. The crowd cheers]
Amy: You go, Tails!
Sticks: Yeah, Hypnobot!
Sonic: Ugh. [Gets excited] What? Yeeah! [Picks up a chili dog] Can I get fries with that?
[Stratford and Eggman are introduced next.]
Dr. Eggman: Heh heh heh heh.
[Stratford's robot, considerably smaller than Eggman, fires pellets from its nostrils, the pellets do no damage to Eggman's robot, who answers back with a quick laser beam, incinerating the robot in the process.]
Dr. Eggman: Ah hahaha.
[Boos emerge from Sonic, Amy, Sticks and the rest of the crowd. Comedy Chimp and Lady Goat turn up next. Comedy Chimp's robot plays a tune with the cymbals. Lady Goat's robot dances to it and barks in delight.]
Amy: Aww... It's so cute!
[Suddenly Lady Goat's robot charges into Comedy Chimp's robot and quickly eliminates it. Comedy Chimp groans. The Final entrants are Child Monkey and Knuckles, the fans cheering on Knuckles who loads up Vacuu-Fan 2000]
Knuckles: Come on, Vacuu-Fan 2000. Show 'em what you're made of!
[Vacuu-Fan 2000 tries to ram its way towards Child Monkey's robot, but misses the target and crashes and breaks to pieces on the arena's wall.]
Knuckles: That's not what I meant!
[The next round sees Dr. Eggman and Lady Goat's robots compete against each other first. Lady Goat's robot barks and backflips around, much to the delight of Amy. Eggman's robot retaliates with a single punch, tossing the robot through the tent in the process, much to Amy's disappointment. Child Monkey's robot and Tails' Hypnobot shows up next. Hypnobot fires a laser, which causes the opposing robot to spin is head, perform a backflip and fall to the ground.]
Mayor Fink: This is it. The final battle.
[The Final battle see Eggman's robot and Hypnobot compete. Hypnobot turns itself off. Tails jumps in the arena to fix his robot.]
Tails: Come on! No, No. Not now! [Tries fixing the robot]
Dr. Eggman: [Offscreen] Ha ha ha! [Onscreen] You built that robot to take control of other robots. But now your robots-controlling robot is being controlled. [Displays his override code to Tails]
Tails: How did you get the override code?
Dr. Eggman: [Holds up the safe] Made by Eggman Industries.
[Eggman's robot approaches and taps Hypnobot, who falls to the ground. Eggman's robot celebrates, but the crowd boos in response.]
Mayor Fink: Well, that was underwhelming. But in the grand scheme of evil Eggman plan, I think we got out of this one pretty unscathed.
[The crowd talk and agree with each other.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh, by the way, Tails. Now that I've taken control of your robot-controlling robot, I'm going to your workshop to take control of all your other robots!
Tails: I don't really have robots. I have inventions.
Dr. Eggman: I know that, but it sounds better my way.
[Eggman jumps onto his Eggmobile and escapes with hos robot following him.]
Mayor Fink: We gotta go after him. Anyone seen the key to the Mayor-cycle?

[Scene Change: Outside Tails' Workshop, day.]

[Tails' Workshop is being taken over by Eggman's robots, including Hypnobot. Team Sonic hide behind some crates and observe what is going on.]
Sonic: We gotta get that Hypnobot away from Eggman. Tails... I-I don't know... invent something!
Knuckles: Don't worry, I'll help you. Inventors stick together. Ooh. Note to self: "Inventors' Glue 2000".
[Eggman's robot turns and discover the members of Team Sonic. Sonic, Sticks and Amy emerge out to battle. The rest of the robots stare at them.]
Knuckles: Maybe we should make a...
Tails: No.
Knuckles: ...or try to build a...
Tails: No! Please let me think. I'm the inventor here!
Knuckles: Maybe you are. But at least I didn't program any override codes into my Vacuu-Fan 2000. And believe you me, I was tempted. Eh, but I didn't know how.
Tails: [Excitedly] That's it! Knuckles, you're a genius!
Knuckles: Yes I are.
Tails: [Sighs] Don't you see?
Knuckles: I'm a genius, not a visionary.
Tails: Your invention doesn't have robot AI. It's too stupid to be affected by Hypnobot.
Knuckles: Stupid? Or... murder? [Dramatic music plays and the camera closes in on Knuckles' face]
Tails: Uh... go get your robot! We've work to do!
[The rest of Team Sonic fight against Eggman's robots. Amy hammers a Crab Bot, Sticks takes down a Bee Bot with her boomerang, and Sonic bounces onto a Motobug and destroys it.]
Knuckles: Not that I don't understand, but could you explain the plan one more time? Because I don't understand.
Tails: [Inside Vacuu-Fan 2000] Since Vacuu-Fan 2000 can't be controlled remotely, it's the only robot that can get me close enough to regain control of Hypnobot.
[Knuckles fires up Vacuu-Fan 2000]
Knuckles: [Sheds a tear] My baby's all grown up!
[The rest of Team Sonic resume battling against Eggman's robots. Vacuu-Fan 2000 emerges towards Hypnobot. Eggman notices it and is curious.]
Dr. Eggman: What's that? Nurbles' robot is joining my army! Welcome, Welcome!
Amy: I got this!
Knuckles: [Notices Amy trying to take down the robot] Nooo! [Tackles Amy just before she hits the robot] It's er... it's my first robot!
Dr. Eggman: Aww, you sentimental son of a gun. I remember my first robot. His name was Zippie and... I don't have time for this. I'm finally defeating Sonic and nothing is gonna stop me!
[With Vacuu-Fan 2000 close enough to Hypnobot, Tails opens the door on the robot and angrily walks towards his own creation]
Dr. Eggman: Hey, you can't do that! I already declared victory!
[Tails loads up Hypnobot, who emits lasers towards five of Eggman's robots.]
Tails: Hypnobot, make 'em dance!
[The five robots, under the control of Tails, join together and dance to some disco music. The Motobugs and Crab Bots join in, circulating the group]
Dr. Eggman: I can't watch this anymore.
[Eggman runs to his Eggmobile and flees.]
Sonic: [Running in] Great job, Tails! We couldn't have done it without you.
Tails: Thanks, but I couldn't have done it without Knuckles. Good work, fellow inventor. So what are you going to invent next?
Knuckles: Oh, I'm giving up inventing. It's time for a new hobby. Perhaps extreme couponing. Oh, or claw-dancing. Or maybe, inventing.
[Lady Goat's Robot arrives, approaching Amy. Amy strokes it with glee.]
Amy: Look who came back. Ooh, puppy wuppy.
Sonic: You know, Tails. With this Hypnobot of yours, Eggman's robots will never be a problem again.
[Suddenly, the puppy robot backflips its way on top of Hypnobot. This causes an explosion, and when as the dust settles, Hypnobot is gone.]
Amy: [Glumly] Bad puppy.