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Robo-Ninjas
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Robo-Ninjas".

[The episode begins with a view of a chili dog stand with a sign that says, FREE CHILI DOGS WHILE REMODELING. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder, the former of whom is holding a rope tied to the chili dog stand in his right hand, are.]

Grounder: Aw, Scratch, Sonic's not gonna fall for that "Free Chili Dog" routine again!

[Scratch turns to face Grounder and holds up his left index finger.]

Scratch: This is different! He'll be expecting us to attack like we always do, but, we're gonna hit him with a ton of bricks instead! Bwahahaha!

[Grounder laughs evilly, and Scratch points his left index finger at the rope.]

Scratch: I yank on this rope,

[The camera moves to the left side of the screen, where the other half of the rope is tied to a piece of scaffolding, and zooms out, revealing the chili dog stand.]

Scratch: The scaffolding falls, and the building comes down on that hedgehog's head!

[Grounder's eyes extend to look like binoculars.]

Grounder: Ooh, ooh! Here he comes!

[Grounder's eyes go back into his head, and he and Scratch hide behind a pile of bricks. Sonic runs up to the chili dog stand, with Tails flying behind him. Sonic looks up and points his right index finger at the sign.]

Sonic: Check it out, Tails!

[The camera zooms out on the sign.]

Tails: Free chili dogs during remodeling. It's gotta be a badnik trap, Sonic!

[Sonic walks up to a lidded plate, and lifts the lid with his right hand, revealing several chili dogs underneath.]

Sonic: Since when has that been a problem?
Scratch: Now!

[Scratch pulls the rope with his right hand, pulling the scaffolding, and causing the building to rumble.]

Tails: Sonic, look out!
Sonic: Got us covered!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, disguised as a construction worker and holding a hammer in his right hand. He hammers the building steady with the hammer, then lands in front of the building.]

Sonic: Okay, Tails!

[Tails walks up to Sonic, holding the lidded plate in both his hands.]

Tails: I got em', Sonic!

[Sonic runs away, with Tails flying behind him.]

Sonic: Time to beat feet and eat!
Grounder: Your trap didn't work! What happened?
Scratch: I'll go look.

[Scratch walks up to the building.]

Scratch: It looks fine to me! It should have worked!

[Scratch scratches his head with his right index finger.]

Grounder: Hey, I'll give it a try!

[Grounder pulls on the rope with his right hand, causing the building to fall on top of Scratch.]

Scratch: Ow-how-how!

[Grounder rolls up to Scratch and chuckles.]

Grounder: It worked great!

[Scratch groans in pain.]

Scratch: I wish you hadn't done that!

[Grounder's Robocom phone rings, and Grounder screams.]

Scratch: If that's Dr. Robotnik, don't tell him what happened!

[Grounder's chest compartment opens, and Grounder picks up his robocom phone with his right hand.]

Dr. Robotnik: You miserable microbrains! You one-chip wonders! You metal-brained meat-heads!

[Grounder covers the robocom phone with his right hand, and beads of sweat emit from his head.]

Grounder: I... I think he already knows!

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is revealed to have been watching Scratch and Grounder on a monitor, and holding his phone in his right hand.]

Robotnik: I'm through trying to teach you how to catch that hedgehog! From now on, it's up to you!
Grounder: Is this a promotion?

[Robotnik screams in shock upon hearing this.]

Robotnik: Call it a proclamation! Find a way to defeat Sonic, or don't come home!

[Robotnik hangs his phone up and walks away. Grounder then puts his Robocom phone back in his chest with his right hand and closes his chest compartment with the same hand.]

Grounder: How come we have to find a way to defeat Sonic? He can't!

[Grounder points his left thumb behind himself.]

Scratch: That's why he gets the big bucks!

[Grounder turns both his hands into hammers.]

Grounder: Well, it makes me mad! In fact, it makes me want to smash something!

[A flute plays. Scratch squawks and points his left index finger in front of him.]

Scratch: How bout' someone to smash?

[Kwai Chang Crane is revealed to be playing a flute he is holding in both his hands.]

Grounder: What? That old guy? Aw, it's too easy!
Scratch: That's the beauty part!

[Scratch runs up to Crane, who stops playing his flute.]

Scratch: Hey, old bird! What's your name?

[Grounder rolls up to Scratch and Crane, the latter of whom bows at the former two.]

Kwai Chang Crane: I am Kwai Chang Crane, gentle robots, and you are?

[Grounder points his left index finger at Crane.]

Grounder: Your worst nightmare, robots with a bad attitude!

[Crane holds up his right index finger.]

Crane: A robot with a bad attitude can often be overcome by the smell of a gym locker!

[Scratch points his left index finger at Crane.]

Scratch and Grounder: What?
Scratch: D'oh, never mind! We're gonna thump you and crunch you and twist you up like a pretzel, old bird!
Grounder: Yeah, and then we're really gonna hurt you!

[Scratch and Grounder yell as they try to beat Crane up in a cloud of dust, but as it turns out, he's more than a match for them. When the dust clears, Scratch and Grounder are both beaten up, and Scratch's right leg is tied around his left leg. Crane dusts off his left arm with his right hand.]

Scratch: Hey, how'd you do that?
Crane: Surprises along the path of life are like dirty socks in the laundry of barefoot cousins, my friends!

[Crane walks away, playing his flute with both his hands. Unknown to him, a camera in a tree has been filming him.]

Coconuts: Did you see that? Did you, did you, did you?

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik and Coconuts, the latter of whom is dressed like a plumber and holding a plunger in his right hand, are revealed to have watched the whole incident on a monitor.]

Robotnik: Of course I saw it, monkey brains! I'm right here!
Coconuts: But nobody can beat robots like that! Nobody! I know, I know, I know!

[Coconuts grunts as he runs up to the control panel. He types on the keyboard with both his hands, and sound effects from the Super Mario Bros. video game can be heard. An image of a ninja appears on the screen, and Coconuts runs back to Robotnik.]

Coconuts: Ninja, ninja, ninja!

[Robotnik turns to face Coconuts.]

Robotnik: Gesundheit!
Coconuts: No, no, not a sneeze! Look!

[Coconuts points his right index finger at the control panel, which Robotnik looks at.]

Robotnik: Hmmm. Ninja; an ancient martial art said to make its students invincible! How did you know about this, Coconuts?
Coconuts: I watch a lot of chop socky movies on TV!

[Coconuts yells as he flexes like a ninja. He then falls over, and his hat falls off his head. He gets up, and stars spin around his head.]

Robotnik: Get the Egg-O-Matic hovercraft ready, and get Scratch and Grounder back here! We're going to turn those stupid robots into unbeatable warriors!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Crane continues to play his flute, then looks up when he hears Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic flying above him, lowering its claw.]

Crane: Most interesting! The steel of treachery is stronger than the jelly of confusion in a peanut butter sandwich!

[The Egg-O-Matic's claw grabs Crane and lifts him into it. Robotnik is revealed to be sitting in the driver's seat of the Egg-O-Matic, and Coconuts is revealed to be sitting in the right passenger seat.]

Coconuts: What'd he say, what'd he say?

[The hatch of the Egg-O-Matic closes.]

Robotnik: Beats me, but I don't care about his philosophy!

[Robotnik flies the Egg-O-Matic away.]

Robotnik: All I want are his ninja skills!

[Meanwhile, Sonic and Tails are sitting atop rocks, eating their chili dogs. Sonic is holding his in his right hand, and Tails is holding his in his left.]

Sonic: You know, a wise man once said, "There's no such thing as a free chili dog"!

[Tails points his right index finger at his chili dog.]

Tails: But these were free!
Sonic: That's right, and mighty tasty, too! That's why I always say, "It's better to be fast than wise!

[As Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic flies up to Sonic and Tails, Crane is revealed to be sitting in its left passenger seat. Sonic points his left index finger at it.]

Sonic: Look out, Tails!

[Sonic and Tails yell, and Tails ducks as the Egg-O-Matic flies over him and Sonic.]

Tails: Robotnik could have jumped us, and he just went by!
Sonic: I know, and that worries me! He's up to something, and it's gotta have something to do with that old crane with him!

[A quiestion mark is used as a transition to the next scene, where a view outside Robotnik's fortress is shown as the camera zooms in on it.]

Robotnik: It is completed; the Crane Brain Drainer!

[The screen transitions to a view inside Robotnik's fortress, where Robotnik and Coconuts are looking over Crane, who is chained to a chair.]

Coconuts: What's it gonna do, Dr. Robotnik?

[The Crane Brain Drainer lowers over Crane's head.]

Robotnik: It will draw the ninja skills and knowledge from Crane,

[The camera moves to the upper-right corner of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder are revealed to be in capsules.]

Robotnik: And implant them into Scratch and Grounder!

[As Coconuts talks to Robotnik, he karate chops both his hands.]

Coconuts: Turn em' into ninjas, huh?

[Robotnik pats Coconuts' head with his right hand.]

Robotnik: You're so clever today, my simian simpleton! Let the transfer begin!

[Robotnik pulls the lever forward with his left hand. The meters go up to 40, and the ninja knowledge from Crane is transferred into Scratch and Grounder, who scream in pain. A view outside Robotnik's fortress is shown as thunder booms and lightning flashes and Robotnik laughs evilly.]

Robotnik: Behold, my greatest creations!

[A cloud of smoke emits in Robotnik's fortress. Robotnik then walks in.]

Robotnik: The Robo-Ninjas!

[The camera moves to the upper-right corner of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are dressed as ninjas, jump out of their capsules.]

Robotnik: Use the doors next time, you dumb-bots!

[Scratch yells as he jumps onto a ping-pong table, splitting it in half. he kicks one half at Grounder with his right foot, and Grounder turns both his hands into swords. He yells as he turns the half of the pong-pong table into a pile of sticks.]

Robotnik: How exciting! They're even better than I'd hoped!

[Coconuts grabs Robotnik's right elbow with his right hand.]

Coconuts: Come on, Dr. Robotnik! Make me a ninja, too! Huh?

[Robotnik turns to face Coconuts.]

Robotnik: Later, Coconuts! I must be sure our friend, Crane has enough skills to pass onto our Robo-Ninjas, enough to rid us of Sonic forever!

[An outline of Robotnik's mustache is used as a transition to the next scene, where Sonic and Tails run up to a half-open trap door.]

Sonic: Look out!

[Sonic and Tails screech to a halt on the trap door, and fall over.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): Prepare to fight, hedgehog!

[Scratch and Grounder jump out from behind the trap door, and Scratch yells as he and Grounder flex.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): Prepare to lose, hedgehog! We are Robo-ninjas!
Sonic: You talk the talk, but you don't walk the walk, ninja nerds!

[Scratch yells as he flexes.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): We will walk all over you, hedgehog!

[Grounder turns his right hand into a sword. He rolls up to Sonic and yells. sonic jumps out of the way to dodge the sword as Grounder slashes it at him. Sonic then runs behind Grounder, who turns his head to face him.]

Sonic: Not bad! I'll give you a call next time I need the lawn mowed!

[Sonic runs away. Tails tries to fly away, but Scratch runs up to him and grabs him by both his tails with his right hand.]

Tails: Hey, let go!

[Tails plugs his nose with his left thumb and index finger.]

Tails: Ewww!

[Sonic runs up to Scratch and Tails, and points his left index finger at them.]

Sonic: Grounder keeps me busy, and you grab the kid! Nice move, Scratch!

[Sonic turns to face the viewers.]

Sonic: I never thought I'd say that!

[Grounder yells as he rolls up to Sonic, who runs out of the way just in time as Grounder slashes his sword at him. Sonic then runs back, disguised as a blacksmith, and pushing a sword sharpener with both his hands.]

Sonic: Sword sharpened! Get your sword sharpened!
Grounder (in a ninja accent): Mine could use a little edge!

[Sonic puts his left hand on Grounder's right wrist.]

Sonic: No problem!

[Grounder grunts as Sonic pushes him towards the sword sharpener. Sonic pushes the pedal of the sword sharpener with his left foot, and sharpens Grounder's sword until it looks like a drill.]

Sonic: Is that little enough for you?
Grounder (in a ninja accent): My sword!

[Grounder wimpers as he touches his right drill with his left drill.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): My beautiful sword!
Scratch (in a ninja accent): Give up, Sonic, or Tails will pay!

[Tails grunts as Scratch lifts and lowers him. Sonic runs up to them and points his right index finger at them.]

Sonic: You've got his nose jammed in your armpit! That's payment enough! Tails, helicopter!
Tails: Helicopter? But I can't fly when he's holding me like...

[Tails smiles upon realizing that Sonic gave him an idea, and he holds up his right index finger.]

Tails: Oh!

[Tails hits Scratch's face with both his tails, and Scratch groans in pain. Scratch lets go of Tails, who flies up to Sonic.]

Tails: I did it, Sonic! I'm free!
Sonic: Way to go! Now let's speed, keed!

[Sonic runs away, with Tails flying behind him. Scratch and Grounder run up to where they were.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): They have gotten away again!

[Scratch holds up his right index finger.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): We have not yet perfected our ninja skill!
Grounder (in a ninja accent): But when we have, we will crush them!

[Grounder pounds his left hand and his right drill together. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic runs up to the tree Scratch and Grounder caught him and Tails in in "Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad", and Tails lands near him.]

Tails: Those robots were better fighters this time!

[Sonic winks his left eye at Tails, and holds out his left hand.]

Sonic: Don't sweat it, kid! Those guys are still no match for me!
Tails: I hope you're right!
Sonic: Yeah, me, too!

[The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress as the camera zooms in on it.]

Robotnik: Even with your ninja skills, you failed me! Why?

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Grounder's head is open as Robotnik rearranges his brain with both his hands. Scratch is sitting near the capsules of the Crane Brain Drainer.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): I do not know!

[Grounder laughs.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): That tickles!
Scratch (in a ninja accent): Ooh, we come very close to defeating the hedgehog, nevertheless!
Robotnik: Close? I hate close! I want results!

[Grounder grunts as Robotnik hits his head with his right hand, causing it to spin. Grounder yells as he puts his head back on his body with his right drill. He then shakes his right drill.]

Robotnik: There must be something missing! Something I haven't thought of!
Crane: If I might suggest something...
Robotnik: What do you want?
Crane: Fightning skills are only part of the ninja way. It is also a philosophy; our beliefs!

[Robotnik runs up to Crane.]

Robotnik: You mean, if I use the Crane Brain Drainer to implan your ideas in those robots, they'll be able to defeat Sonic?
Crane: It couldn't hurt!

[Robotnik walks back up to the control panel as Scratch and Grounder open the capsule doors with their right hands, get back into the capsules, then close the doors with their left hands.]

Robotnik: Into the booths!

[Scratch and Grounder yell as sparks flow through the capsules. When sparks stop, Scratch and Grounder jump out of the capsules.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): Do not become an obstacle in our path!
Robotnik: How dare you yell at me!

[Scratch yells as he pulls out his sword with his right hand and slashes it. A light shines off it..]

Robotnik: Oh, uh, sure!

[Robotnik stutters.]

Robotnik: Whatever you say! Uh, getting Sonic is the most important thing! Go to it, Robo-Ninjas!

[Scratch and Grounder walk up to Robotnik, who puts his left hand on the former's back. Grounder points his right index finger at Robotnik.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): A pat on the back is worth, uh, two in the bush!

[As Grounder rolls away, Robotnik slaps his head with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Oh, no! Now they're even starting to talk like that old bird!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where that night, Sonic runs over a hill, with Tails flying behind him. Scratch and Grounder jump out from behind a rock, and Sonic screeches to a halt, with Tails landing near him. Scratch and Grounder yell as they point their swords at Sonic and Tails, the former of whom points his left index finger at them.]

Sonic: Hey, if I looked like you guys, I'd cover my face, too!
Scratch (in a ninja accent): That is your last joke, hedgehog! Prepare to meet your doom!
Sonic: You guys may dress funny, but you're still cream puffs!

[Sonic points his left index finger at Scratch and Grounder.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): The cream puff of yesterday is the day-old item in the, uh, eh, the bakery of the present! Oh, that's pretty good!

[Sonic stares in shock upon hearing what Grounder said.]

Tails: What did he say?
Sonic: Beats me!

[A light shines off Scratch's sword.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): Exactly what we hand in mind!

[Scratch and Grounder yell as they pounce at Sonic and Tails. Sonic grabs Tails' right wrist with his left hand, and runs away with him in tow, just in time as Scratch and Grounder continue yelling and slashing their swords.]

Tails: That was close!

[Sonic screeches to a halt and turns to face Tails.]

Tails: These guys are good!
Sonic: Maybe, but we're still better!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Tails.]

Sonic: Get ready, Tails, for a Sonic spin!

[Sonic gears up to run, and grabs Tails' right wrist with his left hand. Tails gasps, and Sonic runs away with him in tow. Sonic gasps and screeches to a halt, and he ant Tails back away slowly as Scratch and Grounder point their swords at them.]

Sonic: Uh, lucky move, metal-heads!

[Scratch and Grounder lead Sonic and Tails to a tree.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): The smell of victory is a cough drop in the sore throat of life!
Grounder (in a ninja accent): Very nice, Scratch! The defeat of an enemy is sweeter than the chocolate chip in bakery cookies, but not as sweet as maple syrup!

[Grounder rolls towards Sonic and Tails, and Scratch follows behind him. They yell as they get closer, and Sonic screams as he stares in shock at them.]

Sonic: Now!

[Sonic and Tails jump out of the way just in time as Scratch and Grounder run into a tree and groan as they fall over, but land on their feet and treads. Sonic and Tails are sitting atop a tree branch as the former points his right index finger below.]

Sonic: Gee, they've never tried that before!
Tails: What'll we do now, Sonic?

[Sonic and Tails scream as they dodge the ninja stars that Grounder shoots at them.]

Sonic: We duck!

[Grounder is revealed to be shooting ninja stars from a cannon where his left hand would be. Sonic and Tails jump up to the top of the tree. Scratch then yells as he kicks the tree with his left foot, causing the tree to launch Sonic and Tails into the air. sonic and Tails scream as they fly through the air and grunt as they land on the ground below. Scratch and Grounder yell as they run up to him.]

Tails: I don't think we can beat em' anymore, Sonic?

[The camera moves to the left side of the screen, where Sonic is.]

Sonic: You may be right, kid!

[The screen fades to black. In the next scene, Sonic and Tails stand back up.]

Tails: It's hopeless, Sonic! They've gotten too tough for us!

[Scratch and Grounder yell as they run towards Sonic and Tails. Sonic then runs up to Tails and pushes him aside with his right hand.]

Sonic: No way, Tails! I've got one trick they always fall for!

[Sonic points his right thumb at himself, and Scratch yells as he flexes, hitting Grounder with his right hand. Grounder grunts as he is hit, and he falls over as Scratch continues yelling and flexing. Grounder yells wearily as he stands back up. Sonic, who is disguised as a ticket vendor, is standing behind a ticket booth as the camera zooms out on him.]

Sonic: Robot beauty contest today! Free tickets here! Robot beauty contest!

[Scratch and Grounder run up to the ticket booth.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): A robot beauty contest?
Grounder:' Free tickets?
Sonic (to the viewers): Gets em' every time!

[Sonic winks his left eye at the viewers as he holds up his left hand. He then runs away as Grounder raises his sword and slices it through the ticket booth.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): Your tricks no longer work, Hedgehog!
Sonic: My disguise didn't fool you?

[Sonic screams as Scratch's right hand reaches out from underground and uses it to put handcuffs on his right ankle. Scratch then pops out of the ground and Sonic falls over.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[Tails points his left index finger at Scratch.]

Tails: Let go of him, you bully!

[Sonic points his right thumb at himself.]

Sonic: It's cool, my man! I'll be out of here in a Sonic second!
Scratch (in a ninja accent): I doubt it!

[As Scratch points his right index finger at Sonic, Sonic falls on his back.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): You are no longer dealing with the old Grounder and Scratch, Sonic!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Grounder is.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): We are now Robo-Ninja warriors!

[Scratch points his left thumb at himself.]

Scratch (in a ninja accent): Bearers of the secret knowledge of Master Chang Crane!
Grounder: Yeah!
Sonic: I think you're just the same stupid dumb-bots in black gym suits!
Grounder (in a ninja accent): But you are the one in chains, Sonic!

[Sonic snatches Grounder's sword from him with his right hand.]

Sonic: Not for long!

[Sonic uses Grounder's sword to slice the chains off.]

Grounder: Whoa!

[Sonic gears up to run.]

Sonic: Let's book out of here, kid! I feel the need...

[Scratch and Grounder try to pounce at Sonic, but he jumps out of the way just in time, and they grunt as they pounce into each other. Stars spin around their heads, and Sonic runs up to Tails.]

Tails: The need for speed!

[Sonic, who is no longer wearing his disguise, grabs Tails' left hand with his left hand, and runs away, with him in tow. The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress, which the camera zooms in on.]

Robotnik: Don't bother me now, Coconuts!

[The screen transitions to a view inside Robotnik's fortress, where Coconuts is standing next to Robotnik.]

Robotnik: I will turn you into a Robo-Ninja next time!

[Coconuts points his right index finger at Robotnik.]

Coconuts: Promise, promise, promise?
Robotnik: A Robotnik never lies! Uh, usually. Well, I'm not lying this time! Okay, so I'm lying. What of it?
Crane: The telling of an untruth will bring badminton birds flocking to their nests!

[Robotnik walks up to Crane and points his right index finger at him.]

Robotnik: What's that supposed to mean?
Crane: Only a fool seeks meaning from a bowl of oatmeal.
Robotnik: Are you calling me a fool?!
Crane: No, a bowl of oatmeal.

[Robotnik scoffs as he walks away from Crane.]

Robotnik: Never mind.

[Robotnik walks up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: You were so close to defeating that horrid hedgehog! I watched every miserable minute on my view screen, and you failed again!
Scratch (in a ninja accent): The taste of failure is like three-week-old broccoli!
Robotnik: Yuck! Never mind that, I've got to figure out what went wrong! You have all of Crane's ninja skills, what else could there be?
Grounder (in a ninja accent): You know what? I suggest we tap Crane's knowledge again! We must be like an army to Sonic!
Robotnik: An army! Of course! Grounder, I'm impressed!

[In the next scene, Sonic and Tails are in a field as the camera zooms in on them.]

Sonic: Okay, now we need to figure out what made those robots so good! Scratch mentioned some guy, what was his name? Crane!
Grasshopper: Did you mention the name of my master, Kwai Chang Crane?
Sonic and Tails: Huh?

[Sonic and Tails turn their attention to Grasshopper, who walks in.]

Grasshopper: I am Grasshopper, a student of Crane. He has been missing from our school!

[Tails points his left thumb at himself.]

Tails: I'm Tails, and this is Sonic!

[Sonic bows at Grasshopper.]

Sonic: Hi, Grasshopper! This crane, was he an older bird wearing beat-up clothes, about yea tall?

[Sonic raises his left hand over his head.]

Grasshopper: You have seen him?
Sonic: Yeah, aboard Robotnik's hovercraft!
Grasshopper: Oh, great day! The tomato of expectation makes the soup of happiness!

[Sonic points his left thumb at Grasshopper.]

Sonic (to the viewers): Is everybody gonna be talking this way?
Grasshopper: I must go to rescue Master Crane from the evil Robotnik!

[Grasshopper walks away, but stops when he hears Sonic, who points his left index finger at him.]

Sonic: Hold on, Grasshopper! Rescuing people from Robotnik is my job!

[Sonic and Tails point their left thumbs at themselves.]

Tails: And mine!
Grasshopper: But I can be of service! To defeat the Robo-Ninjas, you must know how they have been trained?
Sonic: You want to show me a few of those fancy moves, like this?

[Sonic spins like a tornado, then stops in a pose.]

Sonic: Chow mein!

[Sonic spins like a tornado again, then stops, holding up his left foot.]

Sonic: Egg foo young!
Grasshopper: Perhaps you could show me!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place outside Robotnik's fortress that night. The camera zooms out on it, revealing Sonic, Tails, and Grasshopper to be watching in the distance.]

Tails: It looks like Robotnik is busy in his lab!
Sonic: So now's the time for me to get in there!

[Tails points his left thumb at himself.]

Tails: I'm goin' in there, too!
Grasshopper: Master Crane may need my help as well!
Sonic: Uh-uh!

[Sonic puts his left hand on Grasshopper.]

Sonic: I need you two to guard my rear, in case Robotnik calls up reinforcements!
Tails: Right, Sonic! Nobody'll get past us!

[Coconuts is standing near the bridge as he paces angrily. The camera zooms in on him.]

Coconuts: Dr. Robotnik promised to make me a Robo-Ninja, but he puts me on guard duty instead! Oh, I hate it, hate it, hate it!
Sonic: Hi there, Coconuts!
Coconuts: Yipe!

[Sonic walks onto the bridge.]

Sonic: Whazzup?
Coconuts: Sonic! Ha, I got you at last, you, you...

[Coconuts points his right index finger at Sonic.]

Sonic: Hedgehog? Heck, you don't need Robotnik to teach you! I'll show you all the moves you need!
Coconuts: What, do you think I'm stupid?
Sonic: Yes. Next question!

[The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, where Coconuts is.]

Coconuts: I won't fall for your tricks!

[Sonic points his left index finger at Coconuts.]

Sonic: Listen, Coconuts, just to prove I mean it, I'll let you hit me first!
Coconuts: You will?
Sonic: Sure! I'll stand right here,

[Sonic points his right index finger at the bridge.]

Sonic: You run at me and do this,

[Sonic sticks out his right foot.]

Sonic: And I'll fall down!
Coconuts: Well, okay. But you better fall down!

[Coconuts points his left index finger at Sonic, who holds up his left hand.]

Sonic: I promise!

[Coconuts runs at Sonic, who ducks as he jumps over him and falls off the bridge.]

Coconuts: Yeow!

[Coconuts lands in the water below with a splash. Sonic looks down at him.]

Sonic: Did I fall down too soon?

[Coconuts spits.]

Sonic: Speak up! I can't understand you!

[Sonic cups his right hand to his right ear as Coconuts continues spitting.]

Coconuts: Hedgehog!

[Sonic runs away, then walks up to the front door of Robotnik's fortress.]

Sonic: One egg-shaped scientist and two robots. How hard could it be?

[Sonic jumps onto the door, knocking it down. He then points his left index finger at Robotnik.]

Sonic: Hope your clocks are dirty, cause Sonic's here to... clean them. Uh-oh!

[Robotnik is revealed to be standing near his control panel.]

Robotnik: Just in time, Sonic! As you see, I have created more Robo-Ninjas for your entertainment!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, revealing six capsules that six Robo-Ninjas destroy. Robotnik then slaps his head with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Use the doors! Use the doors!

[Sonic backs up near Crane.]

Sonic: Don't worry, pal! I'll save you! As soon as I figure out how to save myself!

[The six Robo-Ninjas, as well as Scratch and Grounder, back Sonic into a wall.]

Grounder (in a ninja accent): The float of victory falls from the tree of patience like a...
Scratch (in a ninja accent): Like, uh, bird feathers?
Grounder: Bird feathers? Who said bird feathers?

[Grounder removes his mask with his right hand. Scratch then removes his mask with his right hand, and Grounder scratches his head with his left index finger.]

Grounder: Um, uh, do I seem more stupid than I was five minutes ago?
Scratch: D'oh, you always seem more stupid! Oh, on the other hand, so do I!

[The screen rumbles, and Scratch and Grounder scream as the six Robo-ninjas run over them. Sonic points his left index finger at Robo-Ninja 1.]

Sonic: Didn't your mother ever tell you not to play with sharp objects?

[Robo-Ninja 1 slashes his sword at Sonic, who moves out of the way just in time, causing Robo-Ninja 1 to hit a control box with his sword. Sonic pulls the lever near it down with his right hand, electrocuting Robo-Ninja 1 and causing him to explode into pieces.]

Sonic: See, you should have listened to your mother! One down...

[Sonic gulps.]

Sonic: Seven to go!

[Robo-Ninjas 2 through 6 run towards Sonic. Sonic runs towards them.]

Sonic: Ready or not, here I come!

[Sonic approches Robo-Ninjas 2 through 6. Robo-Ninja 4 slashes his sword at Sonic, who grunts as he jumps out of the way just in time and kicks Robo-Ninja 34's head with his left foot. Sonic is then caught in a net.]

Sonic: Hey, let me out of here!

[Grounder, who is no longer in his ninja outfit, is revealed to be holding the net in both his hands.]

Grounder: Ha ha! I caught a big fish this time!

[Sonic is now wearing a green hat, and Grounder gasps as he walks up to him.]

Sonic: Fishin', eh? Let's see your license!

[Sonic holds out his left hand.]

Grounder: Fishing license? Oh, certainly, warden!

[As Grounder reaches into his right pocket with his right hand, Sonic runs away, leaving his hat behind. Grounder then reaches into his left pocket with his left hand.]

Grounder: I know I have it in here somewhere! Um...

[Sonic runs up to Grounder, who screams as he stares in shock at him. The camera zooms in on them.]

Sonic: You guys got your stupidity back. I was beginning to worry!

[Sonic turns away from Grounder.]

Sonic: Now it's time to...

[Sonic screams as he stares in shock. Robo-Ninjas 2 through 6 and Scratch, who is no longer in his ninja outfit, all walk up to him.]

Scratch: It's time to say goodbye!
Sonic: Maybe I should have let Tails and Grasshopper come along after all!

[Tails and Grasshopper are revealed to be standing in the doorway.]

Tails: We're here!
Sonic: I love it when that happens!

[Sonic points his right thumb at Tails and Grasshopper. Robo-Ninjas 3 and 5 run towards Tails, who jumps onto the door, launching it into the air.]

Tails: Whee!

[The door lands on Robo-Ninjas 3 and 5, who yell as it pushes them away. It slams them into a wall, flattening them, and they fall over. Robo-Ninja 6 tosses some ninja stars at Sonic with his right hand.]

Sonic: These throwin' stars are substandard! I'm sending em' back!

[Sonic spins, deflecting the ninja stars, and they fly into Robo-Ninja 6.]

Robo-Ninja 6: Ow!

[Sparks surge through Robo-Ninja 6, who explodes. Robo-Ninja 4 runs up to Grasshopper.]

Grasshopper: I am honored to meet you in battle!

[Robo-Ninja 4 continues running towards Grasshopper, who pulls out his sword with his right hand. Grasshopper slices Robo-Ninja 4 with his sword until he is just a head with feet. Robo-Ninja 2 chases Tails, who flies through the air.]

Tails: Whoa, this guy is serious! Lucky for me, he's not too smart!

[Robo-Ninja 2 slashes his sword at Tails, who flies out of the way just in time as Robo-Ninja 2 runs into a wall. In the next scene, Robo-Ninja 2 slashes his sword at Sonic, who dodges it.]

Sonic: Come on! I've had closer shaves with a dull razor!

[Sonic runs away as Robo-Ninja 2's sword gets stuck in the wall. he comes back, disguised as Ludwig Van Beethoven, and holding a hammer in each hand.]

Sonic: And now for my latest composition, Percussion Per Hedgehog in Robo-Ninja!

[Sonic slams Edvard Grieg's In the Hall of Mountain King on Robo-Ninja 2's sword, and the vibrations cause Robo-Ninja 2 to fall apart. A bird holding a horn in its right wing emerges from Robo-Ninja 2's body. It plays its horn, then falls over and cuckoos. Sonic takes a bow.]

Sonic: Thank you, thank you, thank you!

[Scratch and Grounder clap their hands.]

Grounder: Bravo, bravo!
Scratch: I particularly liked your pedagio in the final movement!

[Robotnik runs up to Scratch and Grounder, who stare in shock and scream when they see him.]

Robotnik: What's happening? Where are your ninja skills? Get that hedgehog!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Sonic, who runs up to Crane.]

Sonic: I'll get you out of that thing!
Crane: No need!

[Crane breaks through his shackles, and Sonic gasps in amazement.]

Sonic: You could have gotten out of that thing anytime?
Crane: Certainly. The strength of one's muscles is not always measured with the tape measurer of anger!

[Sonic points his left thumb at himself.]

Sonic: I've always said that!

[A laser fires at Sonic, who turns and points his right index finger at it.]

Sonic: But right now, we got some badniks to deal with!

[Crane walks past sonic, and Grounder is revealed to be firing a laser where his left drill would be. Grounder grunts as he keeps firing at Crane, but misses.]

Grounder: Hold still, darn you!

[Crane sticks his right index finger in Grounder's laser cannon.]

Grounder: Get your finger out of my laser!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Crane is.]

Crane: Now is time for the important question! Will my finger explode, or will your laser!

[Grounder's laser explodes.]

Grounder: Yeow-how!

[Crane blows on his right index finger, then walks away.]

Crane: Some questions have simple answers!

[Smoke emits from Grounder's laser cannon.]

Grounder: No! Momma!

[Tears emit from Grounder's eyes, and Scratch walks up to Grounder.]

Scratch: D'oh, you don't have a momma, stupid!

[Tears emit from Grounder's eyes again.]

Grounder: But I want a momma!

[Robotnik walks up to the hole in his wall. He is holding a remote control in his left hand, and presses the red button with his left thumb. His Egg-O-Matic flies up to him.]

Scratch: Hey, hey! You're not leaving us here, are you?

[Robotnik is now in his Egg-O-Matic.]

Robotnik: In a word, yes!

[Robotnik flies through the hole in the wall.]

Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[Scratch and Grounder chase after Robotnik.]

Grounder: No! Don't leave me!
Scratch: Come back! Come back!
Grounder: Dr. Robotnik, don't leave me!

[Robotnik's fortress begins to crumble, and Sonic, Tails, Grasshopper, and Crane all stare in shock.]

Sonic: I think we'd better put our slicks to the bricks!

[Sonic, Tails, Grasshopper, and Crane all run away. They reach the hill in the distance as Robotnik's fortress falls to pieces. It explodes, and the word, KABOOM appears onscreen. A cloud of smoke emits from where Robotnik's fortress was, and Sonic points his left thumb at it.]

Sonic: There goes the neighborhood!

[Sonic turns to face Crane.]

Sonic: But how come you didn't escape from Robotnik before?
Crane: An unexpected adventure often comes with soup or salad, and a roll!
Tails: Wow! Is he wise or what?

[Tails points his right index finger at Sonic.]

Sonic: Wise? You want wise? Listen!

[Sonic picks up Crane's hat with his right hand and puts it on his head.]

Sonic (in a faux ninja accent): One chili dog on the hedgehog beats three on the plate! Come on, I'll show you!

[Sonic runs away, leaving Crane's hat behind. The screen irises out on it as it falls, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[Tails is standing in a field.]

Scratch: Okay, flea-bag!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder, the former of whom is holding a basketball in both his hands, are.]

Scratch: Let's see if you can kick my triple-curve fastball!
Grounder: Yeah, let's go, foxy!

[Scratch tosses his basketball at Tails, who grunts as he kicks it with his right foot. Scratch and Grounder look up and hold out both their arms as they back into the road.]

Scratch: I got it! Mine! It's all...
Grounder: No, you don't! It's mine! It's mine!

[Scratch and Grounder jump into the air, and Grounder catches the ball in both his hands.]

Grounder: Yippee! I caught it!

[A truck runs over Scratch and Grounder, flattening them. They grunt as they get flattened. Sonic and Tails walk into the road.]

Sonic: Looks like these dumb-bots were flat-out wrong about going in the street! (to the viewers) Remember, ask your parents to help you! The street is no place to play, Sonic says!

[Sonic winks his left eye and holds up his left thumb at the viewers.]

Transcripts

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