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Sonic Boom
Nutwork (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Nutwork."

[Scene: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

[Inside the Burrow, Sticks is brushing her teeth. After turning the tap, the sink does not provide water. She taps it thrice, but nothing happens.]
Sticks: [suspicious] I'm sure there's a logical explaination... Someone is stealing all the water to sell it back to us!
[Sticks kicks a garbage can out of anger and then stands on a barrel.]
Sticks: I'm onto you, you greedy draconian overlords, you will rue this day! And the next few days! And eventually, FOREVER!

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[The camera cuts to one of the TVs in Meh Burger. The Comedy Chimp show plays.]
Comedy Chimp: So the water's been going on and off all day. Have you seen this? Have you heard about this? I hope the water department is doing something worthwhile with it. Like re rounding it to Doctor Eggman's bathtub. HA!
[Cut to Sonic, Tails and Amy, who are watching the show and laughing. Sitcom laughter and music is heard in the television. Sticks arrives.]
Sticks: I need to see the news!
[Sticks changes the channel. Cut to the TV screen, showing Soar the Eagle reporting a news story.]
Soar: It's the story everyone has been changing the channel to see! The grand opening of the Giant Scissor factory!

[Scene Change: Village center, day.]

[Camera zooms out to show the giant scissor factory. Several villagers crowd around. Soar hands the microphone to Mayor Fink.]
Mayor Fink: It is my honor to welcome the Giant scissor factory to our village!
[Some of the villagers cheer.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Cut to the tv screen, showing Mayor Fink trying to cut the ribbon with ordinary scissors, but is having trouble.]
Mayor Fink: [trying to cut the ribbon] Let's uh let's see here... this may take a while folks...
[Cut to Sticks.]
Sticks:[annoyed] Why didn't they talk about the water crisis?
Tails: Maybe it's just a plumbing issue!
Sticks: Anything's possible, which is why I choose to believe it's an evil government plot!
Amy: Our elected officials are here to help us. They're smart, hardworking, no nonsense public servents with a passion for helping the common man.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[Camera flips to the mayor's office, Mayor Fink has a pair of giant scissors and is trying to cut some coupons.]
Mayor Fink: Steady... one wrong move, and no discount corn for me! If only I had a smaller pair of scissors...
[Footsteps are heard and the door opens. Enter Sticks, stomping forward.]
Sticks: [angrily] The people demand the truth!
Mayor Fink: And I demand bargins!
Sticks: Forget about the coupons and pay attention to the water crisis!
Mayor Fink: [reading the coupons] It says "buy two, get one free". Does that mean one of the two is free? Or do I end up with three altogether?
Sticks: I should've known Amy was settin' up a gilligant flip. I'm gonna find-
Mayor Fink: [interrupts Sticks' sentence] No no! Don't do another gilligan flip, those are really painful...
Sticks: ...A crusading journalist to blow the lid off of this water scheme!
[Mayor Fink lets out a startled noise as the scene changes.]

[Scene Change: Village center, day.]

[Soar is sitting on a bench, eating a sandwich. Sticks approaches him.]
Sticks: I've got an immportant news story! The water supply is being stolen!
Soar:, why come to me?
Sticks: Because you're a journalist!
[Cut to Soar staring at her. Cut to Sticks.]
Sticks: And AS a journalist, you're supposed to expose the truth! Be the voice of the people and do what's right!
[Cut to Soar continuing staring at her. Cut back to Sticks.]
Sticks: And you might get an award.
Soar: An award huh? That'll show my father. All right! I'll do it! As soon as I finish this sandwich. [eats sandwich]

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Cut to one of the tv screens, showing Soar making another news report in the Mayor's office. Soar looks determined.]
Soar: It's the question we've all been wanting to ask the Mayor. [camera zooms out, revealing Mayor Fink and his puppies.] How are those puppies he adopted?
[Cut to Sticks.]
Sticks: [irritated] He's doing another fluff piece!
[Cut to the television.]
Mayor Fink: They're so adorable you know! [looks at one on his head] Except for this one. You know what you did! [the puppy licks him]
[Cut to Sticks.]
Sticks: This is what happens when society expects nothing of it's journalists! The people must be told what's going on, even if I have to broadcast the news myself!

[Scene change: Village Center, day.]

[Sticks is shown standing on a well, wearing a hat, and ringing a bell to get the villager's attention.]
Sticks: Hear ye! Hear ye! Beweare good townsfolk, our water supply diminishes, as I speak!
[The villagers don't notice her and keep walking. Enter Sonic.]
Sonic: Becoming a town crier isn't the best way to fight the mainstream media. You should try something a little more... "high tech".
Sticks: Technology is the enemy! But maybe the enemy of my enemy is my friend! Or is the enemy of my enemy my double enemy? Either way, time to fight fire with fire! Or double fire?

[Scene Change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

[Sticks and Tails are inside, with several radio equipment set up.]
Sticks:[wearing headphones] Thanks for helping me getting my pirate radio station going Tails.
Tails: [singing and doing a jig] Sticks and technology sittin' in a tree, I-N-T-E-R-F-A-C-I-N-G!
Sticks: It's not my first choice, but sometimes you gotta compromise your principles to get the truth out.
Tails: That's pretty well-reasoned. Sure you don't wanna add anything? Like, a time travelling banana told you to do it?
Sticks: [unamused] No.
Tails: Huh, go figure! [checks communicator] We go live in 3,2,1... [points at Sticks as he adjusts the sound]
Sticks: This is Sticks the Badger. And I shall bring you... THE TRUTH!
[As the words echo, Cut to Sonic and Amy listening in one house, Stratford listening in another house, and Fastedious Beaver in another house.]
Fastidious Beaver: Actually, I can't handle the truth. [gets down from his chair and curls up into a ball.]

[Scene Change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

[Sticks continues to broadcast.]
Sticks: Wake up people, our water is disappearing, [grabs microphone] and don't expect the media to tell you because they're in the pocket of big business! [lets go of the mike] We must ask ourselves: Who stands to gain? In this case, the answer, is Eggman. Let's take a caller.
[Tails adjusts the sound system for the caller.]
Caller: Doctor Eggman's schemes aren't fiscally motivated, I mean they're barely motivated, period. Haven't you ever seen this show?
Sticks: You know what? I'll prove it. By this time tomorrow, you'll all believe me. Sticks, over and out! [takes off headphones] We need proof of what Eggman's up to, but we gotta catch him by surprise!

[Scene Change: Sky, day.]

[Tails and Sticks are flying via Tails' Plane. Sticks has a video camera. Music plays.]
Sticks: When we jump, remember to catch me. That's the crucial part of the plan! [jumps off the plane]
[Tails jumps off the plane, catching up with Sticks. Both of them are free falling towards the ocean.]
Sticks: Get footage!
[Sticks throws the video camera at Tails, hitting him in the face. Tails quickly goes up to get it, and starts recording.]
Sticks: This is Sticks the Badger. And I've jumped out of an airplane to prove to you all that I'm not crazy!
[Tails grabs Sticks's hand and flies over to Eggman's lair, landing behind some rocks. They get up and watch Eggman taking the water with a machine. They get out and secretly record the footage. Cut to Eggman,]
Eggman: This water siphoning scheme will make me millions! Unless of course I get caught red handed. That'd be a publicity nightmare! The shareholders would throw a fit!
[Cut to Sticks and Tails, still recording.]
Sticks: AHA! Busted!
Eggman: My new years resolution should be to stop announcing my evil plans.
[The video recorder shows Sticks with Eggman.]
Sticks: I told you Eggman was stealing our water!
Eggman: Actually, I told them, but that's on me. I'm gonna build an evil plan announcement filter that'll- [stops upon seeing the camera and groans in annoyance.]

[Scene change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

[Inside, Tails and Sticks are making another broadcast, this time playing the footage they recorded from the lair.]
Eggman: This water siphoning scheme will make me millions!
Sticks: I bet now you people are listening to me, WAHHHUGH! STOP LISTENING TO ME! [pauses] Oh, right! We have a caller.

[Scene Change: Village, day.]

[Inside the Walrus Male's house, he makes his call.]
Walrus Male: At first I had no reason to believe that Doctor Eggman would be up to no good! Now that it's being yelled at me by someone who's outraged, I'm outraged! [kicks a dustbin]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[The Old Monkey is eating his burger and listening to the radio.]
Old Monkey: I should've listened to her sooner. And I should've ordered the soup! Oh why do I always make the wrong choices in life?
[Cut to a news station. Dixon and D.B. Platypus are listening to Sticks' broadcast.]
Sticks: Sticks, over and out!
Dixon: [turns off the radio] The only thing being siphoned faster than the water is our ratings.
D.B. Platypus: I'm telling ya Dixon,"real news" is "in"! Just like "quote fingers".
Dixon: I have a half baked idea, let's fire Soar and replace him with this Sticks character.

[Scene change: Sticks' Burrow, day.]

[Dixon opens the door and enters Sticks' burrow, just as Sticks and Tails are packing up.]
Dixon: Sticks?
[Sticks gets startled and gets into a fighting stance.]
Dixon: No need to get up, I'm Dixon from the network. We love what you're doing and want to offer you your own television show!
Sticks: I'll never join you. Because you're the man, man!
Dixon: But moving from radio to TV will increase your audience! More people will hear your message. More people will hear... the truth!
Sticks: [turns to Tails] I dunno, this stranger is making me uncomfortable.
Tails: Well, you did say, sometimes you gotta compromise your principles to get the truth out.
[After some hesitation, Sticks accepts. She and Dixon shake hands.]

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[There is an angry crowd in the Mayor's office. Sticks, now the reporter, reports what's happening.]
Sticks: This is Sticks the Badger live at the Mayor's office. I'm gonna find out what he knew about the water scandal and when he knew it. [turns to the Mayor] What do you have to say for yourself? [hands the mike]
[Cut to Mayor Fink, feeling ill.]
Mayor Fink: I don't feel well, I ate too much corn!
[Mayor Fink's feels queasy and runs out of the room as more noises are heard from his stomach. The whole scene is shown on a TV screen inside the news station. Dixon turns off the TV.]
Dixon: You made the mayor look like a fool and destroyed all faith in our government. And the viewers are eating it up! Great work!
D.B. Platypus: Ratings are "through the roof". Not literally that's why I did this. [imitates quote fingers]
Dixon: Your show couldn't be better. We just have a couple of notes to make it better.
Sticks: Notes?
D.B. Platypus: Nothing major, we just thought now that you've destroyed all faith in government, maybe you can do a "happy story" to cheer everyone up again?
Sticks: I don't really do "happy". And we agreed to tell the truth.
D.B.Platypus: Hey, sometimes people are happy that's the truth!
Sticks: I just don't wanna sell out!
D.B. Platypus: You're not selling out! You're being a "team player"!
Sticks: I don't know...
Dixon: As a great broadcaster once said, sometimes you gotta compromise your principles to get the truth out.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[Inside the Mayor's office, Sticks and Tails are broadcasting a happy story.]
Sticks: [unamused] I'm back at the Mayor's office, where his puppies just had puppies.
[The camera goes to Mayor Fink, with a few more puppies.]
Mayor Fink:They must've laid eggs, cause now there's three times as many!
[Cut back to the news station.]
Sticks: Okay, I debased myself and did a happy story. Now I wanna go back to investigating Eggman!
D.B. Platypus: No problem, just one "problem". Eggman Industries is your new sponsor.
Sticks: But he's a villain!
D.B.Platypus:: You don't need to do anything "different". You just have to do it with this hat. [pulls out an Eggman head hat]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Sticks and Tails record another news broadcast.]
Sticks: [unamused] We're live on the scene of a terrible accident.
[Cut to the Gogoba Chief, whose leg is stuck under a cart.]
Gogoba Chief: Oh, it's not that bad, you'd be surprised how often this happens to me... go on! Exploit my misfortune. Nice hat by the way.
[Sticks throws down her hat in exasperation.]
Sticks: I can't do this! I've compromised my principles to the point that they've become meaningless! I can't be trusted! I'm the man, man!
Old Monkey: [angrily] She's sold out, get her!
Sticks: But I did it to help you!
Old Monkey: I don't need help! [Just then he loses his balance and falls back.] Help!
Lady Walrus: We have to blame someone!
Sticks: No! We all have a responsibility to find the truth for ourselves! You shouldn't just do what someone from the TV tells you to do!
Lady Walrus: So what should we do?
Sticks: Fight the power!
[The whole village goes berserk and causes destruction. Enter Knuckles, Sonic, and Amy, who witness the event.]
[The village people stop running.]
Sonic: Oh, that that was easier than I thought.
[Sonic is interrupted by a buzzing noise coming from Eggman's Mega Microwave water Vaporiser. It lands just behind him, Knuckles and Amy. The villagers panic and run away again. Cut to Eggman, arriving in the Eggmobile.]
Eggman: Behold! The Mega Microwave Water Vaporiser! Watch in terror as your beloved water is vapourised by microwaves! It needs to be hovering above the ocean to work, but I wanted to show it to you first. [pauses] D'oh, I did it again!
[Cut to Sonic.]
Sonic: This is your worst plan yet.
Eggman: Really, you think so?
Sonic: No- I meant worst as in worst conceived-now stop trying to take our water!
Eggman: No! Water isn't a public right, it should be privatized and sold by someone smarter, richer, and handsomer than all of you.
[Cut to Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles.]
Sonic: Sorry Eggy, we're gonna stop you.
[Sticks runs and gently pushes Sonic.]
Sticks: No! WE are! [turns to the villagers] GET HIM!
[Cut to the angry villagers, now with pitchforks, pickaxes and hammers. They as well as Sticks rush towards the Vaporiser and destroy it. The Walrus Male hits it, while Vandersnout tears it, and the Gentleman Wolf bites it. Music plays. Cut to Eggman watching as the machine is completely destroyed and the villagers are yelling at him.]
Eggman: I probably should've built more defenses into that thing. That'll be my new new year's resolution!
[Cut to Tails, still recording.]
Tails: Sticks, you got the truth out there, fought the power, and brought about meaningful change. What do you wanna say to your fans? ´
Sticks: [angrily] I quit!
[Soar pops out from the crowd looking ruffled.]
Soar: Really? You're quitting? I can get my old job back?
Sticks: I hope when you do, you realise how powerful the truth can be.
Soar: You're right. I'll never waste that power again!

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

[Inside the Mayors Office, Soar goes back to making fluff news, this time showing Mayor Fink with more puppies.]
Soar: It's been one day since the puppies' puppies gave birth to puppy grandpuppies!
[Cut to one of the puppies, who licks the screen as the scene ends.]