Sonic News Network

Know something we don't about Sonic? Don't hesitate in signing up today! It's fast, free, and easy, and you will get a wealth of new abilities, and it also hides your IP address from public view. We are in need of content, and everyone has something to contribute!

If you have an account, please log in.


Sonic News Network
Sonic News Network
Main page GalleryTranscript

<< Previous episode

Sonic Boom
Mayor Knuckles (Transcript)

Next episode >>

This is the transcript for the Sonic Boom episode, "Mayor Knuckles."

[Scene: Mayor's Mansion, day]

[Mayor Fink is stamping papers at his desk.]
Mayor Fink: Habeas corpus ... due process ... [stamps the desk] Oops. Authorization to clean desk. [stamps it]
[Admiral Beaverton clears his throat.]
Admiral Beaverton: Ready for the fishing trip, old bean?
Mayor Fink: Oh, no, no, no. Too much approving to do. The town bylaws won't stamp themselves. [grabs another piece of paper from the stack] Self-Stamping Prohibition Act. [stamps it and holds it up] See? If only there was someone to cover for me. [pause] I say, if only there was someone to cover for me? [pause] So we can get the story started?
[Knuckles enters the office.]
Knuckles: This is an outrage! A travesty! A plookypluck!
Mayor Fink: A "plookypluck"?
Knuckles: I made that last one up. Rule of threes, Your Majesty. Anyway, I'd like this important law passed.
Admiral Beaverton: [reads it and clears his throat] Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall ne'er be packaged in separate containers, as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich.
Mayor Fink: I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you. Are you prepared to do your civic duty?
Knuckles: [snickers] You said "civic".
Mayor Fink: Yes. Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, 5:30, when the fish stop biting.
Knuckles: I'm in!
[Later, Knuckles is playing with the stamp.]
Wild Cat: Who's in charge here?
Knuckles: I guess I am!

[Scene change: Sticks' Burrow, day]

[Sticks is sleeping. A loud noise not only wakes her up, but knocks her out of bed. Outside, Wild Cat is using a jackhammer.]
Sticks: Hey! Hey! [walks up and knocks on Wild Cat's hardhat with her boomerang; he turns the jackhammer off] What are you doing?
Wild Cat: The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall. [shows the document to Sticks] See? [Sticks growls and crumples it]

[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]

Knuckles: Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next!
Fastidious Beaver: With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library?
Knuckles: With me'm! [grabs a bill from the stack and stamps it] Approved! By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is "libary".
Gentleman Wolf: I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half-birthday.
Knuckles: Half-birthday approved. [stamps]
Lady Walrus: I think this village should have moving sidewalks.
Knuckles: I don't know.
Lady Walrus: Do you want to live in a world without moving sidewalks?
Knuckles: Excellent argument. Approved! [stamps]
[Later, Sonic walks in.]
Sonic: Hey Knux. Uh, why are you in the mayor's office, stamping bills into law?
Knuckles: I'm doing my civic duty. [Sonic chuckles] Oh, grow up, Sonic. [He chuckles as well] Civic.
[Sticks enters the office.]
Sticks: Who's in charge here?
Knuckles: I am. And I'm doing a good job, too. [he picks up a green pencil, draws himself, and stamps and show the drawing] See?
Sticks: You approved building a new mall... to my burrow... [Bangs on the desk] ...on my land?!
Knuckles: Sticks, Sticks, Sticks! I approve lots of things next to lots of burrows on lots of people's lands! I can't keep track of all of 'em!
Sticks: Your recklessness is destroying my home!
Knuckles: Sticks, don't worry! You know someone on the inside now! Just write up a proposition and I'll ram it through!
Sticks: [screams] Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! You, and your goons! [points at Sonic]
Sonic: Me?! What did I do?!
[Sticks growls and stomps out of the office.]

[Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day]

Dr. Eggman: The trash should have been picked up by now! Where's that garbage man?

[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]

Fennec Garbage Man: I want to take a few months off. See the trash in other countries. Maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls.
Knuckles: What's the worst that could happen? [Knuckles pauses for about 12 seconds] See? No consequences! [stamps]

[Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day]

Dr. Eggman: I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions. It's bad enough looking at you two.
Orbot: Must every random observation circle back to insult us?
Dr. Eggman: It's not you. I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots.
Cubot: Apology accepted.
Dr. Eggman: That's it! I'm going to City Hall! You lugnuts wait here.

[Scene change: Sonic's Shack, day]

Sticks: We need to stop Knuckles, and get government out of our lives! What has government ever done for us?
Sonic: Maintained the fire department. Can't say that's a bad idea.
[Amy and Tails nod.]
Sticks: Oh yeah, that's true.
Tails: There's also the sewer system.
[Sonic and Amy agree.]
Sticks: Yeah. I definitely don't want that responsibility.
Amy: And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet.
Sticks: You can make all the good arguments you want, but don't come crying to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over your lives!

[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]

Knuckles: Next! What'cha got?
Lady Goat: Well, it's kind of a lo-o-o-ong list.
Knuckles: No time to read the list. Approved! [stamps it] Next?
Dr. Eggman: [pushes everyone else out of the way] Hey, Nerples. What's with the trash collection? You've got...
Knuckles: Sorry, Egghead. There's a lot of people waiting. You'll have to take a number. [The dispenser is shown to be empty.]
Dr. Eggman: It's out of numbers.
Knuckles: You'll need to fill out a complaint form.
Dr. Eggman: [grumbling] Can I get one?
Knuckles: I'd love to help you. Take a number.
Dr. Eggman: [growls and walks off]
Old Monkey: I have a request to shout “woo-hoo” in a public place.
Knuckles: Approved! [stamps it]
Old Monkey: Woo-hoo! That was the highpoint of my life.

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day] [Sonic and Tails are each eating a burger.]

Walrus Male: Move it, pal! I’ve got permission to build my treehouse here!
Leroy: And I got permission to build my tunnel right here!
[Bell rings]
Wolfie: Out of the way! I’ve got a permit to build my lemonade factory here!
Sonic: We’d better go sort this mess out.
[Sonic and Tails race off]

[Scene change: Library]

Amy: I’d like to check this one out.
Fastidious Beaver: Impossible! Thanks to the Organised Bookshelf Act, it is now illegal to check out books! Finally, I have protection from people who think books are for reading and not just sitting neatly in a row on the shelf.
Amy: [groans] Arggggh!

[Scene change: Village, day]

Ice Cream Vendor: My ice cream! Why?! Why did the village reverse its ban on flammable frozen treats?!
Lady Walrus: Help! It’s not moving! I’m stuck!
Dr. Eggman: Just walk! Use your legs!
Lady Walrus: My taxes pay for moving sidewalks! No way I’m using my legs!
Dr. Eggman: [growls and walks off]
[Leroy, Wolfie and Unnamed Walrus are still arguing]
Dr. Eggman: That red imbecile has done more damage to this village in a few hours than I’ve done in years with my ingenious, worthwhile and well-executed plans! Nubbles must be stopped!
Sonic: As much as I hate to say it, Eggman, we’re with you! Now, we need a plan.

[Scene change: Mayor's Mansion, day]

Dave: You’ve got to outlaw peanut butter and pickle sandwiches! [bangs on the desk like Sticks] If people realise they can get cheap, barely edible food outside of Meh Burger, I’m out of a job!
Knuckles: Look at you! You who were once so proud! Go now and never return!
Dave: I see what’s going on here! You’re in the pocket of big peanut butter and pickles! [gives Knuckles two fingers but accidentally pokes himself in the eyes] Ow! Is there any chance you could stamp some sort of universal healthcare law? [walks off]
Sonic: Okay, Knuckles, I order you to stand down. Lower the stamp and back away from the desk.
Knuckles: No!
Sonic: Well, I’m out of ideas.
Dr. Eggman: I’m not! [Prepares to fire his laser]
Knuckles: [Grabs the pencil, writes a law and stamps it] It’s now illegal to use your finger to activate a weapon!
Dr. Eggman: [growls and uses his elbow instead but accidentally zaps his foot] Ow! Any chance I can get in on that universal healthcare?
[Sonic, Tails, Amy and Sticks prepare to attack]
Knuckles: [stamps consecutive laws] No boomerangs! No hammers! No inventions! No spin attacks! No mayonnaise!
Fastidious Beaver: [groans sadly]
Amy: Knuckles! [bangs on the desk like Sticks and Dave] You’ve gone mad with power!
Knuckles: Oh, really? Well, would someone mad with power approve a law giving himself ultimate authority over everything?!
Sticks: That’s the dictionary definition of mad with power!
Knuckles: I wish I could corroborate that, but it’s illegal to check books out of the "libary". [tries to stamp the law but nothing happens] Huh? [Knuckles looks at the stamp in confusion.]
Sticks: Nice try, Knuckles, but I’m afraid your stamp is out of ink.
[Knuckles stamps it repeatedly before throwing it in disgust. Eggman then picks the stamp up.]
Sonic: Nice work. Now, destroy the stamp. [Notices Eggman is looking at the stamp] Eggman?
Dr. Eggman: I'm afraid there's been a slight change of plans. With this stamp, I now rule the village. First order of business: Strip waste management of all vacation time! [cackles]
Knuckles: Au, contraire, mi amigo. Any chance to waste management requires Form 48C-13.
Dr. Eggman: And where do I find that?
Knuckles: You'll have to take a number.
Dr. Eggman: [growls and sends in his robots] Find me that form!
[The robots start trashing the office. Knuckles then launches an attack to which Amy and Sticks start to join in until Knuckles stops them.]
Knuckles: I believe I outlawed those weapons.
Sonic: Knuckles, you've got to let us fight! Or else, Eggman's... trash will be collected in a timely fashion?
Tails: Wait, why are we fighting this?
Knuckles: Because he picked my stamp up off the ground and seized absolute power! [Knuckles growls and punches the ground, sending Eggman and his robots backwards.]
Dr. Eggman: [growls until one of his robots hands him a form] Aha! Now to get some ink! Where's my octopus bot?
Cubot: Right here, boss. [Halts the robot outside the town hall and fires a blot of ink onto Eggman's stamp]
Dr. Eggman: [cackles]
Sticks: [growls and fire a chunk of a robot at the stamp, destroying it]
Dr. Eggman: Look what you've done! You've created more trash that won't get hauled away!
Mayor Fink: [enters the room] Ah, it's always good to get away for a few hours. [sees the mess] What the...?!
Knuckles: Sorry about the mess. But you know how it is being mayor, stamping everything that comes across your desk, regardless of its merits.
Sonic: You have no idea how happy we are to see you, sir.
[Sonic, Amy, and Knuckles leave the office whilst Mayor Fink takes another stamp from his desk. Sticks gives Mayor Fink the fingers before walking off]
Dr. Eggman: Any chance I can get my trash collected?
Mayor Fink: Take a number. [The dispenser is still empty.]
Dr. Eggman: [sighs in frustration as the episode ends]