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Magnificent Sonic
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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Magnificent Sonic".

Note: Scenes that were cut from certain reruns are highlighted in red.

[The episode begins with a view of a sign that says, TRANQUIL GULCH. The camera moves to the right side of the screen until it reaches Tranquil Gulch, then zooms in on it. The screen transitions to a view inside, where various citizens can be seen, including the Pig Lady from "High Stakes Sonic", Tails' Fake Father from "Tails' New Home", an elephant child holding a lollipop in its right hand, and a coyote that resembles Wile E. Coyote from Looney Tunes. The camera moves to the left side of the screen, where the Rabbit Gardener from "Lovesick Sonic" is seen dressed as a sheriff, rocking in his rocking chair near a building that says, SHERIFF. The camera zooms in on him, and he snores.]

Six Gun Pete: Sheriff!

[The Rabbit Sheriff awakens and falls over. He looks up at Six Gun Pete.]

Rabbit Sheriff: Wh-who are you? What do you want?

[Six Gun Pete points his upper right and left thumbs at himself.]

Six Gun Pete: I'm Six Gun Pete, and I'm callin' you, Sheriff!

[The Rabbit Sheriff runs away as Six Gun Pete fires at his chair. He also shoots the SHERIFF sign, and it falls through the roof. The Rabbit Sherrif runs away from Six Gun Pete's gunfire.]

Rabbit Sheriff: Yahoo! Whoa!

[The Rabbit Sheriff jumps onto an ugly horse, which neighs. He then holds up his right index finger.]

Rabbit Sheriff: "Bushel of carrots a day!" Ain't enough to get shot for! Come on, giddyup!

[The Rabbit Sheriff grabs his badge with his right hand and tosses it aside. He then screams as the ugly horse runs backwards, then bucks him off and runs away. The badge is now in front of Six Gun Pete.]

Six Gun Pete: Anyone whant to put it on?

[Six Gun pete fires at the badge. The camera then zooms in on him.]

Six Gun Pete: No? Ha ha! Guess that makes me law of this town!

[Six Gun Pete spins all six of his guns. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic runs along the path leading to Tranquil Gulch, then stops. Tails lands next to him.]

Tails: What are we stoppin' for, Sonic?

[Sonic points his right index finger at the sign that says, TRANQUIL GULCH, which the camera moves over to.]

Sonic: Check it out, scout! Tranquil Gulch! Now, that's the kind of town I've been lookin' for!
Tails: It is?

[Sonic grabs Tails' right wrist with his left hand and pulls him away.]

Tails: Whoa!

[Sonic runs into Tranquil Gulch, with Tails in tow. He screeches to a halt when he comes to the Saloon.]

Sonic: After months of stoppin' Robotnik, fightin' for truth, justice, and the hedgehog way, it's time to kick back and relax! Come on, partner!

[Sonic walks up to the Saloon entrance, and Tails follows behind him. Sonic pushes the left door open with his left hand, and Tails pushes the right door open with his right hand. They look around, and see the Pig Lady, the Coyote, and Tails' Fake Father all sitting at tables. Miss Possum is seen at the counter.]

Miss Possum: What'll it be, boys?
Sonic: Couple of chili dogs and a beer. Root beer, that is!
Tails: Double that!

[Miss Possum is now holding a bottle of root beer in her right hand, which she pours into a mug she is holding in her left.]

Miss Possum: I'm Miss Possum. Welcome to my saloon, Mr. uh...
Sonic: Hedgehog, but you can call me Sonic! Better yet, you can call me anytime!

[Miss Possum gasps as Six Gun Pete enters the Saloon. She and Sonic turn their attention to him.]

Six Gun Pete: Hey! Thought I told you this here town was mine!

[Six Gun Pete grabs four of his guns with his upper and middle left and right arms. He shoots at Miss Possum, who screams. He hits three bottles, causing the corks to fly off of them. One of them bounces off the ceiling, hits him in the left eye, and knocks the gun out of his upper left hand. He then spins the guns in his upper right and middle left and right hands, which he puts back in his belt.]

Six Gun Pete: All I need is one gun to get you, Hedgehog!
Sonic: Oh, yeah? Well, I bet I can outdraw you!
Six Gun Pete: Ha! You don't even have a gun!
Sonic: Don't need one!

[Sonic jumps behind Six Gun Pete's back.]

Sonic: Draw!

[Six Gun Pete grabs one of his guns with his middle right hand and aims it at Sonic, who runs away just in time, causing Six Gun Pete to shoot his head off. Smoke emits from him.]

Tails: Way to go, Sonic! You blew him away!

[Six Gun Pete's body walks away and stumbles into a water trough, which short-circuits him, and he explodes. Six Gun Pete's body then bumps into his mechanical horse, and he tries to climb onto its back, but falls over. He gets his left foot caught in the left stirrup, and the mechanical horse runs away, with Six Gun Pete's body in tow. Pink hearts emit from Miss Possum as she, the Pig lady, and the Elephant Kid are now all outside the Saloon.]

Miss Possum: How did you do that?
Sonic: It's easy when you're the fastest in the West! Not to mention the East, North, and South!

[The camera moves over to the right side of the screen, where Mayor Chestnut is.]

Mayor Chestnut: I'm Mayor Chestnut, son!

[Mayor Chestnut hops up to Sonic and puts his right hand on Sonic's right shoulder. Sonic turns to face him.]

Mayor Chestnut: How'd you like to be the next Sheriff of Tranquil Gulch?
Sonic: Sheriff? Me?

[Sonic holds out both his hands like stop signs.]

Sonic: No thanks! We're just passin' through! Come on, Tails, time to juice!

[Sonic walks up to Tails and grabs his right hand with his left hand. Sonic tries to walk away with him, but Tails holds out both his feet to stop him.]

Tails: But Sonic, being Sheriff would be way cool! I could be your deputy!

[Tails holds out both his index fingers like guns.]

Tails: Pow pow! Got him!

[Tails blows on both his index fingers. Sonic is now holding both his hands behind his back, then holds up his right hand like a stop sign.]

Sonic: Sorry, it's impossible!

[Miss Possum walks up to Sonic.]

Miss Possum: It'll just be till' we can find a permanent Sheriff!

[Miss Possum then rubs Sonic's chin with her left index finger.]

Miss Possum: Not even for little old Miss Possum?
Sonic: Well...

[The Pig Lady, the Coyote, and Mayor Chestnut all hold up their right hands and cheer.]

Coyote: Yay! Sonic's our new Sheriff!

[Sonic is now wearing a belt with two gun holsters, and Miss Possum walks up to him, and puts the badge she is holding in her right hand on his chest.]

Mayor Chestnut: I knew we could count on you, Sheriff Sonic!

[Tails walks up to Sonic and puts the cowboy hat he is holding in his right hand on Sonic's head. Mayor Chestnut then walks up to Sonic and puts his right hand on Sonic's back. Sonic turns to face the camera, smiles nervously, and shrugs his shoulders. The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress as Six Gun Pete's Body rides his horse up the mountain leading to it. He then gets knocked off his horse by the doorway as his horse runs through it. The camera cuts to a view inside, where Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder look over a model of Tranquil Gulch, and zooms in on them.]

Dr. Robotnik: Now that Tranquil Gulch is mine,

[Robotnik presses a button on the tabl with his right index finger, and a hologram of Gambler's Gulch appears.]

Robotnik: It won't be long before I transform it into... Gambler's Gulch, the biggest casino on Mobius! With 99 percent of the profits skimmed off the top for me!

[Robotnik laughs evilly. Six Gun Pete's horse drags in Six Gun Pete's body, whose left leg is stuck in the right stirrup. He then stands up, and Scratch points his right index finger at him.]

Scratch: It's Six Gun Pete!

[Six Gun Pete's body falls over, knocking down the table. Robotnik stares in shock at him.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[Scratch runs away as Six Gun Pete's body walks up to Robotnik.]

Robotnik: What are you doing back here? What's the matter, can't you talk?

[Six Gun Pete's body shrugs all six of his shoulders, indicating that without a head, he can't talk. Robotnik then reaches offscreen with his right hand and pulls out a pad of paper.]

Robotnik: In that case, draw!

[Robotnik stares in shock and screams as Six Gun Pete's body pulls out all six of his guns with all six of his hands and shoots them at him. Scratch and Grounder scream as they dodge the gunfire. Robotnik then grabs one of Six Gun Pete's gun from his lower left hand with his left hand and shoots five holes in his body. He then reaches offscreen with his right hand and pulls out a pad of pencil and a paper.]

Robotnik: I meant draw with a pencil, not the gun, you nitwit!

[Six Gun Pete's body grabs the pencil with his upper right hand and the pad of paper with his lower right hand. He draws a poorly-drawn picture of Sonic wearing a sheriff's hat, badge, and belt, and falls over. Robotnik picks up the pad with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Sonic! So, that rotten running rodent is trying to spoil my plans, is he?

[Robotnik turns to face Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Scratch! Grounder! Go to Tranquil Gulch, and see that that hedgehog gets a one-way ticket to boot hill!

[Scratch walks in, wearing a holster on the left side of his belt, and holding a gun in his left hand and a cowboy hat in his right.]

Scratch: Don't you worry, your awfulness! I'm the fastest in the West!

[Scratch spins his gun, and Grounder, who is now dressed in a cowboy vest, puts a cowboy hat with a $10.00 price tag on it on his head with his right drill.]

Grounder: You are not! I'm the fastest!

[Robotnik is now standing between Scratch and Grounder, and looks over at them.]

Scratch: Oh, yeah? Prove it, draw!

[Grounder pulls out a gun with his left drill. He and Scratch and shoot at each other, and Robotnik screams as he dodges the gunfire. He runs away, but two shots shoot him in the butt.]

Robotnik: Yeow!

[Robotnik fans his butt with his right hand, then turns to face Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: Attention!

[Scratch and Grounder stand to face Robotnik.]

Robotnik: Present arms!

[Scratch and Grounder hold their guns up to their heads.]

Robotnik: Commence firing!

[Scratch and Grounder shudder shoot their guns at their heads, blowing them off. Their heads pop out of their bodies, and they look at each other. They then salute Robotnik with their respective right hand and drill. The screen transitions to a view outside Tranquil Gulch. Sonic and Tails are now standing outside the Saloon. Sonic's shoes now resemble Tails', albiet with the color palette swapped (and stay that way for the rest of the episode), and Tails is now dressed in a cowboy hat, a red bandana, and brown gloves and pants. Mayor Chestnut, the Pig Lady, and the Coyote are all standing on the porch.]

Tails: Sheriff Sonic's the fastest gun in the west, aren't you, Sonic?

[Sonic nods his head, "Yes".]

Sonic: Set up some tin cans, Deputy Tails! I'll show em' some real gunplay!

[Sonic tips his hat with his right hand, and Tails flies away. Tails is now holding three cans in both his hands, and sets them up on a log. He then lands next to Sonic.]

Tails: Go on, Sheriff! Blow em' away!

[Sonic pulls the guns out of his holsters with both his hands. He misses the left and right cans, but one of the shots bounces off the middle can and hits a hen, which causes her to fly out of her nest and fry her eggs. Sonic then continues firing, but the shots bounce off the sections of the log in between the cans and hit a water tower, destroying it and causing water to leak from it. The Pig Lady and the Coyote scream as the water splashes them. Sonic looks over at them, then shoots again. This time, his shot hits the right side of the SALOON side, causing it to knock Mayor Chestnut, who is holding an acorn in his left hand, into the mud. He groans as he falls over. The camera cuts to a view of the three unharmed cans and zooms out on them as Sonic looks over at Mayor Chestnut, smiling nervously at him. Mayor Chestnut is now holding the acorn in his right hand as he stands up, picks up his hat with his left hand, and puts it on his head.]

Mayor Chestnut: I think we made a big mistake! That hedgehog couldn't hit the broad side of a barn!
Tails: Course' he can, there's one now!

[Tails points his right index finger at a barn, which has its front and broad sides labelled with signs that say, FRONT SIDE and BROAD SIDE, respectively.]

Tails: Show em', Sonic!

[Sonic walks up to the broad side of the barn and shoots into the air, creating a cloud of smoke. When the smoke clears, Tails runs up to Sonic and waves both his hands at the broad side of the barn, only to find it completely unharmed. He then turns to face Sonic.]

Tails: Boy, you really are a bad shot!
Sonic: Relax, Tails! You don't need to shoot straight when you're faster than lightning!

[Sonic spins both his guns, then points them in the opposite direction.]

Sonic: Check this out!

[Sonic fires his guns, then runs past the shots. He picks up the three cans with both his hands, then holds them in his right hand. He then sets them on top of Mayor Chestnut's head, and the shots hit them, knocking them into a barrel with a sign that says, DON'T LITTER nailed to it. The screen transitions to a view outside Tranquil Gulch as Scratch, who is now wearing furry brown pants, is riding atop Grounder, who is wearing a saddle on his head, like a horse as Scratch spins his guns with both his hands. He then puts them in his holster.]

Grounder: Hey, I'm Dr. Robotnik's favorite, so I should be wearing the hat and guns, and you should be wearing the saddle!
Scratch: Shut up, you old nag! Get up!

[Scratch hits Grounder's head with his left hand.]

Grounder: Ow! All right, wise guy! You want get up? I'll give you get up!

[Scratch screams frantically and holds onto the saddle with both his hands as Grounder tries to buck him off like a bull while rolling towards Tranquil Gulch. Sonic sighs as he relaxes in the rocking chair.]

Sonic: Looks like we're gonna get some peace and quiet after all, Tails!

[Tails flies down to Sonic.]

Tails: I don't think so, Sonic!

[Scratch screams as he falls off Grounder, who stops near Sonic and Tails, losing his hat in the process. Scratch then looks up at Sonic.]

Scratch: Huh?

[Scratch dusts off his pants with his right hand, then puts his hat back on his head with the same hand. He then points his right index finger at Sonic.]

Scratch: Sheriff Sonic, I'm callin' you out for a showdown! Winner gets the town, loser gets a free burial!

[Sonic holds up his left hand like a stop sign, then points his right index finger at Scratch.]

Sonic: Not so fast, slow-mo! Why use messy old guns when we can settle our differences the clean way? At the poker table?

[Scratch stares in shock.]

Scratch: Poker?

[Grounder chuckles as he pulls Scratch towards him with his left drill.]

Grounder: This is perfect! With our computer brains, we can't possibly lose at cards to that meat-headed hedgehog!

[Scratch points his right index finger at Grounder.]

Scratch: Right!

[Scratch pulls out his guns with both his hands, spins them, and puts them back in his holster.]

Scratch: You're on, Sheriff!

[The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic, Scratch, and Grounder are all sitting at a table in the saloon. Miss Possum is behind the counter, and she, Tails, and Mayor Chestnut all watch as the camera zooms out on Sonic, Scratch, and Grounder.]

Scratch: Deal!

[Sonic tosses the deck of cards with his right hand and catches them in his left. He then shuffles them with both his hands.]

Sonic: Did I happen to mention this is strip poker? Whoever loses a hand has to strip something off themselves and toss it in the pot!

[Sonic holds up both his hands like stop signs, then points his right index finger at the table.]

Scratch: Whatever you say, uh, just deal!

[Sonic hands himself, Scratch, and Grounder five cards each. As Scratch picks up his deck of cards with his right hand, he has a 2 of Spades, a 10 of Diamonds, a 7 of Hearts, a 6 of Spades, and a 4 of clubs.]

Scratch: Uh, I'll take five!

[In Grounder's deck, Grounder has a Queen of Hearts, a 7 of clubs, a 3 of Hearts, a 5 of Spades, and a 9 of Diamonds.]

Grounder: I'll take six!

[Sonic picks up the deck of cards with his left hand and tosses some of them to Scratch and Grounder with his right. He then pick sup his deck of cards with both his hands. Tails and Miss Possum walk up to him.]

Sonic: I'm stayin' pact! Well, what do you got?
Scratch: I got a bet! That's a straight with one missing in the middle.

[Scratch sets his deck of cards on the table, as does Grounder.]

Grounder: Go fish!

[Sonic sets his deck of cards on the table.]

Sonic: Read em' and weep, gentle jerks!

[The cards are all revealed to be aces with Sonic's face on them.]

Sonic: Five aces!

[The cards of Sonic's heads all wink their left eyes.]

Sonic: Okay,

[Sonic scoops up all the cards with both his hands, then shuffles them.]

Sonic: Each of you has to strip something off and put it on the table!

[Scratch removes his hat with his left hand and sets it down on the table, then Grounder unscrews his antenna with both his drills and puts it on the table.]

Grounder: Deal!

[Sonic picks up the stack of cards with his left hand and tosses it into his right. He then passes some cards to Scratch and Grounder with his left hand, and picks up his deck of cards with both his hands. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Scratch now has a 7 of hearts, a 10 of clubs, a 4 of spades, a King, and a 7 of Diamonds in his deck, and Grounder has a 2 of Diamonds, a Queen, a 5 of Clubs, a 3 of Hearts, and a 9 of Spades in his deck. Sonic sets his deck of cards down on the table, revealing them to be two Aces of Hearts, an Ace of Clubs, an Ace of Diamonds, and an Ace of Spades. Scratch and Grounder stare in shock at him.]

Sonic: Well, what do you know? I win again!

[Scratch removes his comb with his left hand and sets it down on the table, while Grounder removes his nose with his right drill and sets it down on the table.]

Scratch: Deal!

[Sonic scoops up the cards with both his hands and shuffles them. He catches the stack of cards in his left hand, and tosses some of them at Scratch and Grounder with his left hand. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Scratch is now missing his beak, hat, and pants, which are all on the table alongside his comb and Grounder's nose and antenna.]

Sonic: I win!

[Scratch pulls off his tail feathers with his right hand and sets them down on the table, and Grounder pulls his left arm off with his teeth and sets it down on the table.]

Scratch: Yeow-how! What are you waiting for? Deal!

[Sonic picks up the cards with both his hands and shuffles them. He catches them in his right hand and tosses them at Scratch and Grounder with his left. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic now has a Ten of Spades, a Jack, a King, a Queen, and an ace with his face in his deck. Scratch's deck has a 9 of Diamonds, a Club, a Spade, a 4 of Hearts, and a Jack in his deck.]

Sonic: Royal hedgehog! I win again!

[Scratch's left leg is now on the table, along with Grounder's head. Scratch removes Grounder's antenna with his left hand and puts it on the table, then removes his own head and puts it on the table with his left hand. On the table, Scratch's beak is now inexplicably re-attached to his head.]

Scratch: D'oh, you and your big ideas, agreeing to play cards!
Grounder: Me?! You were the one who said we couldn't lose with our computer brains!

[Grounder's right drill hits Scratch's head, who grunts. Scratch's left leg then kicks Grounder's head.]

Grounder: Ow!

[Tails comes in, carrying a bag in both his hands. Sonic scoops up Scratch and Grounder's pieces with both his hands and puts them in the bag.]

Sonic: Guess I'm the big winner, gents! Cash these in for me, Tails!
Tails: You bet, Sonic!

[Tails flies away, carrying the bag in his right hand. He empties it into the barrel with the sign that says “DON'T LITTER”on it, then dusts off his hands.]

Miss Possum: Sonic, you saved our town again!
[Miss Possum hugs Sonic, who turns away embarrassed, smiles, and closes his eyes.]
Sonic: Aw, it was nothin' really, Miss Possum!
Miss Possum: Oh, don't be such a humble hedgehog! You're an ace of the Hearts in my book!

[Miss Possum kisses Sonic on the cheek, and Sonic smiles as his face blushes red. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic walks past Miss Possum, waving his right hand at her. She waves her left hand back at him, and Tails flies behind him. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder, who have now reassembles themselves peer from behind a building.]

Scratch: So, Sonic is sweet on Miss Possum, is he?

[Scratch rubs his wattle with his right hand.]

Scratch: That gives me an idea how to get rid of that show-off Sheriff once and for all! Bwahahaha!

[Grounder, who is wearing a false mustache, rides a carriage drawn by two mechanical horses up to the Saloon.]

Grounder: Whoa!

[Scratch, who is now wearing a mask with a mustache, opens the door to the carriage with his right hand, and walks out. He walks into the Saloon, opening the doors with both his hands.]

Scratch: Miss Possum!

[Scratch walks up to Miss Possum, who is behind the counter.]

Scratch: Sonic's waiting in the stage for you! Wants to take you to the lake for a picnic!
Miss Possum: Why, that sweet, little ball of fuzz knows just how to melt a girl's heart!

[Miss Possum picks up a compact mirror with her left hand and a powder puff with her right. She puts the powder puff in the bottom of the compact mirror, then powders her face with it. She and Scratch walk out the doors, of which, she opens the right one with her right hand, and Scratch opens the left one with his left hand. They walk into the carriage, which Scratch closes the door to with his left hand. Grounder pulls the reigns with both his drills, and the horses pull the carriage.]

Miss Possum: Where's Sonic?

[Scratch removes his mask with his right hand, and Miss Possum screams as she stares in shock at him.]

Scratch: Don't worry! He'll come for you once he finds out you're trapped in a runaway stage coach!

[Miss Possum gasps. In the Sheriff's office, Sonic is sitting at the desk, holding a WANTED poster in his right hand as Tails is holding a crumpled-up ball of paper in both his hands and tosses it into the trash can near the desk. Mayor Chestnut runs in.]

Mayor Chestnut: Sheriff Sonic! The stage is out of control and headed straight for Deep Canyon, and Miss Possum's on it!
Sonic: Miss Possum!

[Sonic jumps onto the desk, and points his right index finger at Tails.]

Sonic: Watch the office, Tails! Gotta juice!

[Sonic chases after the carriage as it heads towards Deep Canyon.]

Sonic: If I can't stop that runaway stage coach, Miss Possum's a goner!

[As the carriage heads towards Deep Canyon, the camera moves to the right side of the screen, where it is. The screen fades to black. In the next scene, the mechanical horses continue pulling the carriage towards Deep Canyon, with Sonic chasing after them. The ropes from the mechanical horses to the carriage snap, and the mechanical horses turn right as the carriage falls off Deep Canyon. Sonic jumps into Deep Canyon after the carriage, and lands inside it.]

Miss Possum: Sonic! Oh, you shouldn't have come for me!
Scratch: Yeah, you fell right into our trap!

[Scratch presses a button with his left index finger, which causes an alarm to blare and the bars over the windows to close.]

Grounder: Yeah, now Scratch and I will jump with parachutes, leaving you two to crash into the bottom of the canyon!

[Grounder opens the door with his left hand, and he and scratch jump out. When the door closes, a lock appears over it. Scratch and Grounder grab each other's left hands, then look up when they hear Sonic.]

Sonic: Hey, brainless robo-chumps!
Scratch: What?
Sonic: I think you forgot somethin'!

[Sonic is now holding Scratch and Grounder's parachutes in each hand as he puts his arms through the bars of the window. Scratch and Grounder look around, realizing they forgot to put on their parachutes before they left the carriage.]

Scratch and Grounder: Huh?

[Scratch and Grounder scream as they continue to fall down Deep Canyon. As the carriage continues to fall, Sonic and Miss Possum look out the window.]

Miss Possum: What are we gonna do, Sonic?
Sonic: How ‘bout a nice boat ride?

[Sonic grabs one of the parachutes with his left hand and runs up to a window. He is now holding the parachute in his right hand as he ties it to the bars of the window. He then runs up to the window on the other side, holding the other parachute in both his hands, and ties it to the bars. The parachutes open, and the carriage safely descends into the river below. It floats across the river as Sonic spins, cutting a hole in the roof. He grabs Miss Possum by her hairbow with his left hand and pulls her out through the hole. He then carries her in his arms and walks her up to the seat in the front of the carriage, setting her down to his right side. She hugs him.]

Miss Possum: Oh, Sonic! You're so romantic!

[Sonic grabs a guitar sitting to his left side and plays it as the carriage continues floating across the river. Scratch and Grounder, who have survived the fall, peer out from behind a boulder. A view of Scratch through a telescope is now shown.]

Scratch: Get closer! We'll sink the stage along with that no-good hedgehog!

[Scratch ducks behind the boulder, and the carriage continues floating across the river.]

Sonic and Miss Possum: Huh?

[Scratch and Grounder are now standing atop a raft, and Scratch is holding an oar in both his hands.]

Scratch: You're finished, Sonic!

[Grounder groans as Scratch hits him with the oar.]

Sonic: Careful with that oar. You're gonna need it when you hit the rapids!
Scratch: Rapids?

[Scratch looks back and stares in shock.]

Scratch: Yi-hi-hikes!

[Grounder's head springs out from his body as he looks back.]

Grounder: Ow!

[A view of the rapids is shown, and Scratch and Grounder scream as they hug each other. They splash into the water, and Miss Possum gasps as she hugs Sonic.]

Sonic: Nothin' I like better than shootin' the rapids with a beautiful babe! Hang on!

[Sonic pulls the lever to his left side with his left hand back, then pushes it forward. The carriage safely floats around the boulders, whilst Scratch and Grounder scream as they hit the boulders, which light up like pinball bumpers. They then hit a big boulder and explode. They fly into the air, then fall to pieces, which land in the river below. The carriage floats over them, and Miss Possum hugs Sonic again as he smiles.]

Miss Possum: Oh, Sonic! You're wonderful!

[The carriage floats across the river as Scratch and Grounder's heads spring out of the water. Grounder's head springs up to Scratch's.]

Grounder: Oh, Scratch! You're wonderful!
Scratch: Shut up, you Robo-Bozo!

[Scratch's head pecks Grounder's head. Grounder then looks ahead of himself.]

Grounder: Huh?

[A telescope emerges from Scratch's right eye.]

Scratch: Ha ha! The joke's on Sonic this time! He's headed straight for the falls! Bwahahaha!

[A view of the waterfall through Scratch's telescope is shown. Miss Possum points her left index finger at the waterfall, and Sonic gasps.]

Miss Possum: The waterfall! We're headed right for it!

[Sonic and Miss Possum hug each other.]

Sonic: Hang tight, here we go!
Sonic and Miss Possum: Whoa!

[The carriage goes over the waterfall, and lands in the water below. Scratch, who is now back together again, dances atop Grounder's head as it floats across the river.]

Scratch: Bwahahaha! He went over! We did it!
Grounder: Uh, Scratch?

[Scratch looks down at Grounder.]

Scratch: Not now, you'll spoil my triumph!
Grounder: But Scratch, we're heading for the falls, too!

[Grounder points his left drill at the waterfall. He and Scratch scream as they go over the waterfall. Grounder, who is now back together again, is riding on Scratch's back and holding the oar in both his hands as he tries to use it to climb back up the waterfall. He then spanks Scratch with it.]

Scratch: Ow-ho-ho!

[Scratch and Grounder scream as they go up the waterfall, then back down it. The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Sonic and Miss Possum are sitting in the carriage, which is revealed to have survived the fall. Sonic is holding a net in both his hands, which he uses to pull Scratch and Grounder out of the water with. The screen transitions to the next scene, where the Coyote is holding a letter in his left hand as he runs up the mountain to Robotnik's fortress. The screen then transitions to a view inside, where Robotnik is. He scratches his chin with his left index finger.]

Robotnik: Let me see. When Scratch and Grounder bring back Sonic, should I roll him into a pizza?

[Robotnik is now holding a rolling pin in both his hands, which he uses to flatten a balloon of Sonic. He then grins evilly, and grabs the balloon with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Or blow him up like a balloon?

[Robotnik inflates the Sonic balloon. The Coyote runs in, and holds out the letter to Robotnik.]

Coyote: Western...

[The Coyote howls.]

Coyote: ...ion telegram for Dr. Robotnik!

[Robotnik snatches the letter with his right hand. The Coyote then holds out his left hand, expecting a tip, and grins nervously.]

Robotnik: Of course, we mustn't forget the tip!

[Robotnik lets go of the Sonic balloon and the telegram, then grabs the coyote with both his hands. The Coyote yelps, and Robotnik holds him by his feet with his right hand as he collects the coins that fall out of him with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Thank you, now get out of here!

[Robotnik spins the Coyote, then tosses him out the doorway. The Coyote slams into a wall. Robotnik is now holding the letter in his left hand as he looks over it.]

Robotnik: Probably from Scratch and Grounder telling me how they captured Sonic and Tranquil Gulch is mine!

[A view of the letter is shown. At the top, there is a horseshoe logo that says, TELL, and the letter reads, DEAR RoBUTTNIK, SCRATCH & GRouNDER ARE IN JAIL. IF you WANT THEM, BAIL IS 10,000 MoBIuMS. youR FAN, SONiC.]

Robotnik: Dear Robuttnik, Scratch and Grounder are in jail. If you want them, Bail is 10,000 Mobiums. Your fan, Sonic?

[Robotnik growls angrily, and orange liquid emits from his head.]

Robotnik: Why, that little impudent pipsqueak of a blue baboon! If he wants a fight, that's just what he'll get!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at the balloon, then grabs it by its right leg with both his hands. He bites its left hand, and it explodes, creating a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, Robotnik is revealed to be wearing the head of balloon like a mask. He paces the floor, then looks in the mirror.]

Robotnik: You!

[Robotnik growls as he grabs the head of the balloon with both his hands and pulls it off. He then tosses it on the floor with his left hand and pounces at it, creating a hole in the floor. he growls as he wrestles the head of the balloon, causing an explosion that makes the hole even bigger. Robotnik pants heavily as he climbs out of the hole.]

Robotnik: I'll get you, Sonic!

[The head of the balloon lands back on Robotnik's head. In the next scene, a view outside the Sheriff's office is shown, and the screen transitions to a view inside. Sonic is sitting at the desk, playing a guitar as the camera zooms in on him. Tails is sitting on the right side of the desk, holding a sketchpad in his left hand and a pencil in his right. He draws a picture of Scratch and Grounder above the words, ARTIST'S RENDERING. The camera moves to the left sie of the screen, where Scratch and Grounder are revealed to be in prison cells, and giving angry glares. An explosion can be heard, the screen rumbles, and Scratch and Grounder's teeth fall out of their mouths.]

Grounder: Ow!

[Tails drops his sketchpad, screams, and falls over. Sonic runs up to him.]

Tails: What's that?

[Scratch and Grounder, who now have their teeth back, look out the window and smile in delight.]

Scratch: It's Dr. Robotnik!
Grounder: He's come to break us out of jail!

[Sonic and Tails walk out of the Sheriff's office, and up to Dr. Robotnik, who is now dressed like an outlaw. The camera zooms in on Sonic and Tails.]

Robotnik: All right, Hedgehog, I'll give you one last chance to give me what I want, or I turn you into buzzard bait!
Scratch: D'oh, he means us!
Grounder: Yeah! Let us out, or he'll turn you into buzzard bait!

[Scratch sticks his tongue out of Sonic.]

Robotnik: You can rot in jail for all I care!

[Scratch screams, and he and Grounder both stare in shock.]

Grounder: Huh?
Robotnik: It's the town I want!
Sonic: Sorry, Robotnerd! As long as I'm sheriff, no despicable desparado like you is gonna take over this town!

[The Elephant Child and the Coyote walk up to Sonic.]

Robotnik: Maybe not, but what about six despicable desparados like me,

[Five robots, known as Wired Earp, Batch Cassidy, Billy the Kit, Chassis James, and DOS Holiday walk up to Robotnik.]

Robotnik: Wired Earp, Batch Cassidy,

[Sparks emit from Batch Cassidy's antennae, and smoke emits from Billy the Kit's head.]

Robotnik: Billy the Kit, Chassis James, and DOS Holiday?

[The camera moves down to Batch Cassidy's holster as he pulls out his gun with his right hand and aims it at Sonic.]

Robotnik: And every one of them is programmed to shoot fast and at you!

[Tails is now hiding behind Sonic.]

Tails: What'll we do, Sonic? There's no way we can outshoot those guys!
Sonic: Don't have to outshoot em', Tails! Just have to outrun em'!

[Sonic runs away, with Tails flying behind him, as the five robots fire at them. Drool emits from Robotnik's mouth!]

Robotnik: Get him!

[The five robots walk after Sonic and Tails, who are hiding behind the corner of a building. Wired Earp walks up to the corner as Sonic runs up to him.]

Sonic: All right, Earp! Let's see how fast you really are!

[Tails flies behind Earp and ducks behind him. Sonic spins into Earp, who grunts as he gets knocked into the trough behind him.]

Sonic: Not fast enough!

[Earp pulls his head out of the trough. Sparks emit from it, and Earp explodes. Sonic then reaches a barn and sneaks up to the other side of it. Batch Cassidy fires around his body, and Sonic holds out both his hands like stop signs.]

Sonic: Don't shoot, Batch! I can't hit the broad side of a barn!

[Batch fires at Sonic, who runs around the gunfire, creating a dust cloud. When the dust clears, the broad side of the barn is heavily damaged, and Sonic points his left thumb at it.]

Sonic: But I can hit you with the broad side of a barn!

[Sonic runs away, and the barn falls on Batch, creating a cloud of dust, which is used as a transition to the next scene, where Scratch and Grounder are still in their jail cell. Grounder is lying on the bed as Scratch paces the floor.]

Scratch: We gotta get outta here!
Grounder: But how?

[Scratch walks up to the window and taps on the wall below it with his right index finger. He looks outside and sees the Ugly Horse.]

Scratch: Aha!

[As Scratch thinks, a thought balloon appears on the right side of the screen. In the thought balloon, a rope is tied to the bars of the window. The rope pulls the bars off the window, destorying it, and the thought balloon disappears. Scratch grabs Grounder by his hat with his left hand, and points his right index finger at the window.]

Scratch: Simple! This horse can pull the bars off! Grab that rope!

[Scratch tosses Grounder at the window, and Grounder grabs one of the bars with both his hands. Grounder reaches for the rope with his right hand and unties it from the Ugly Horse's saddle. He then turns to face Scratch.]

Scratch: Now, tie it to the bars.
Grounder: Right.

[Grounder rolls up to the door of the prison cell and ties the rope to one of its bars. He grunts as he pulls on the rope with both his hands, then turns to face Scratch and signals him with his right thumb and index finger.]

Grounder: Okay, ready when you are!

[Scratch turns to face the window, and spanks the Ugly Horse with his right hand.]

Scratch: Get up!

[The Ugly Horse neighs, and as he runs, he pulls the rope.]

Grounder: Ha ha! Any second now, these bars will be pulled clean off!

[Scratch turns to face the prison door and stares in shock as the wall around it begins to crumble.]

Scratch: Whoa! You idiot! Not those bars!

[The prison door gets pulled off, and Scratch and Grounder scream as the bars smash them into the wall, causing them to explode. They continue screaming as the Ugly Horse pulls them across Tranquil Gulch. An iris is used as a transition to the next scene, where Sonic sneaks across the porch, then he screams and stares in shock at Chassis James, who turns a corner. An exclamation point appears above Sonic's head, and DOS Holiday lands behind Sonic, who looks up at him.]

Sonic: Huh? It's a good thing you guys are great shots...

[Sonic spins out of the way just in time as Chassis pulls out his gun with his left hand, and DOS pulls out his gun with his right. They fire at each other, creating a cloud of smoke. When the smoke clears, Chassis and DOS turn into cheese wedges wearing hats. Sonic lands in between them.]

Sonic: Cause I could never shoot you both like that!

[Sonic grins, and a light glares off his teeth.]

Tails: Sonic, help!

[Sonic stares in shock and gasps. Scratch and Grounder are holding Tails upside down with their respective left and right hands, and Robotnik looks over at them. Sonic runs up to them, and turns to face Robotnik.]

Robotnik: No more of your fancy footwork, hedgehog! This time you draw against me, or your sidekick meets the next train, head-on!

[Miss Possum runs up to Sonic and puts both her hands on his left arm. He turns to face her.]

Miss Possum: What are you gonna do, Sonic?
Sonic: Guess I'll have to shoot straight this time!
Robotnik: Ha! You haven't got a chance against my infrared hedgehog-homing photon six-shooters!

[Robotnik lifts his coat with both his hands, revealing the my infrared hedgehog-homing photon six-shooters underneath.]

Sonic: You're probably right, Robotnik, but I gotta do what I can to save my best bud, Tails!

[Sonic points his right thumb at himself, and walks up to Robotnik, but Miss Possum runs up to him.]

Miss Possum: Sonic, wait! If you gotta get shot, at least you should wear some nice duds!
Sonic: But...

[Before Sonic can finish, Miss Possum grabs him by his left hand with her right hand, and runs away, with him in tow.]

Sonic: Whoa!

[Miss Possum pulls Sonic into the saloon, and Robotnik taps his right foot impatiently. He then looks at the pocket watch he is holding in his left hand. The big hand reaches where the 12 would be, and the little hand is where the 5 would be. The camera then zooms in on Robotnik.]

Robotnik (mimicking Sonic): I'm waiting!

[Robotnik stops and thinks, then scratches his chin with his right hand.]

Robotnik: Now, where have I heard that line before?

[Sonic pushes the doors open with both his hands. He walks out, wearing a poncho.]

Sonic: Okay, I'm ready!

[The Pig Lady runs into a building, the Elephant Child hides behind a pillar, and George, the male stork from "Tails' New Home" hides behind the corner of the building. The Coyote and the Pig Lady peer out the doorway. Miss Possum looks out the window. Sonic walks up to Robotnik, and Mayor Chestnut peers from behind a barrel. Robotnik walks up to Sonic, and Scratch and Grounder, who are now holding Tails right-side-up, both watch along with Tails. Sonic and Robotnik come face to face.]

Robotnik: Draw, Hedgehog!

[Robotnik pulls out the infrared hedgehog-homing photon six-shooters with each hand and fires them at Sonic. Sonic pulls up his poncho with both his hands, revealing a steel plate underneath. He holds it up with both his hands, and the beams reflect off it. Robotnik stares in shock, and screams as he tries to run away, but the beams hit him in the butt. Scratch and Grounder stare in shock, and let go of Tails, who flies away just in time as Robotnik flies into Scratch and Grounder. They groan as he hits them, knocking them into an outhouse. The outhouse breaks into pieces, which form into a coffin. Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder land in it, and the top piece lands atop Robotnik's butt, which leaves a hole. The top piece is then nailed shut, and the toilet seat lands on Robotnik's butt, taking the place of a wreath.]

Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[Sonic blows the smoke off the steel plate he is holding in his left hand. He then removes his belt with both his hands.]

Sonic: Now that my job is done, I won't be needing these!

[Mayor Chestnut, who is holding an acorn in his left hand, walks up to Sonic.]

Mayor Chestnut: But who's gonna be our sheriff?
Sonic: Best person for the job!

[The camera moves to the right side of the screen, where Miss Possum, the Elephant Child, and Tails' Fake Father are.]

Sonic: Miss Possum!
Miss Possum: Why, Sonic, I don't know what to say!

[Sonic, who is now holding the Sheriff badge in his right hand, pins it on Miss Possum's chest. Mayor Chestnut is now holding the belt in his right hand and ties it around Miss Possum's waist.]

Mayor Chestnut: Just say, "Yes!", Miss Possum!

[The Elephant Child and Tails' Fake Mother and father walk up to Miss Possum and cheer. The camera moves to the left side of the screen, where Sonic and Tails are, as the former puts his right hand on the latter's left shoulder.]

Sonic: Come on, Tails! Let's juice!

[Sonic runs away, and Tails flies behind him. A dog with a newspaper in his left back pocket walks in and watches as Sonic runs off into the sunset, with Tails flying behind him.]

Dog: Duh, who was that fast hedgehog?
Sonic: Hi-ho, Sonic, away!

[The screen fades to black, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says[]

[Sonic is walking through Tranquil Gulch, when Billy the Kit exits the saloon. He pulls out his gun with his right hand and fires it at Sonic, but Sonic dodges the gunfire.]

Sonic: Ha! You missed me!

[Sonic points his left thumb at himself. He then pulls out his gun from his holster with his left hand and fires it at the saloon, which collapses atop Billy the Kit. Tails walks up to Sonic, and high-fives Sonic's left hand with his right hand.]

Tails: Nice shootin', Sonic!

[As Sonic talks to the viewers, Billy the Kit crawls out from under the fallen saloon.]

Sonic (to the viewers): Cartoon characters never really get hurt by guns, but real people do! So never play with a real gun, even if you think it's not loaded! I don't want any of my pals getting hurt by a deadly weapon that's not a toy!
Transcripts

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