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Sonic Boom
Just a Guy (transcript)

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This is the transcript for the Sonic Boom episode, "Just a Guy".

[Scene: Tails' Workshop, day.]

[A shot of Tails' home grounds is show. The scene switches to Tails, working in his workshop. Suddenly, Tails' laptop comes online and shows an approaching target.]
Tails: An incoming Eggman attack! Better get the gang together.
[The camera displays Tails pressing his communicator in a yellow background. The rest of the gang eventually appear in their respective colors.]
Tails: United Village Defenders of the Village: UNITE!
Amy: On my way!
Sticks: Let's move!
Sonic: I'm on it!
Knuckles: Eh.. it's really not a good time for me. I kinda have plans.
Tails: Wait, what?
Sonic: Seriously Knuckles?

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Sonic runs to Meh Burger where Knuckles is sitting at a table with Mike.]
Sonic: What do you mean you have other plans?
Knuckles: I was gonna catch a movie with Mike.
Mike: Hi. I'm Mike.
Sonic: Uh, yeah, hi. Seriously though we gotta get moving. Eggman's attacking.
Knuckles: Aww, but today is the last day of Jungle Fighter 3: Revenge of the Jungle Fighter!
Mike: Jungle Fighter can wait. It is important to battle Eggman.
Sonic: Great! See? Let's go!
Mike: So, where we going?
Sonic: Oh, uh... I meant me and Knuckles.
Knuckles: Why can't he come?
Mike: Yeah, why can't I come?
Sonic: We can't bring you to a battle.. I mean... You're just a guy.
[The townspeople at Meh Burger gasp]
Old Monkey: Just a guy?!
Sonic: No! I-I didn't mean that... what I meant to say was... he's not... you know...
[Crickets chirp]
Knuckles: [Disapprovingly] I think you've said enough already.
Sonic: Ugh we don't have time for this.
[Sonic grabs Knuckles and runs off with him.]

[Scene change: Desert, day.]

[Team Sonic is fighting Badniks while Eggman, Orbot and Cubot fly around in the Eggmobile. Amy smashes one with her hammer. Sticks boomerangs a Bee Bot as Sonic and Knuckles rush to the scene. Sonic spin attacks a Badnik. Knuckles joins in the fight.]
Knuckles: I can't believe you said that to Mike!
Tails: What did he say?
Eggman: Uh.. battle's over here. guys?
Knuckles: He called my friend Mike, "Just a guy".
[Amy and Sticks gasp]
Amy: Sonic! How could you?!
Sonic: I didn't mean that-
Eggman: Yeah, Sonic! That's a really crummy thing to say to a dude.
Sonic: Ugh.
[Sonic quickly spin attacks and smashes all the remaining Badniks.]
Eggman: Well, gotta go. [flies off with Orbot and Cubot] You know I'm right!
Tails: Don't worry Sonic. This will all blow over. Tomorrow, nobody will even remember what you said.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Soar the Eagle is giving out a news report.]
Soar: It's been 24 hours since Sonic the Hedgehog's infamous "Just a Guy" comment shook the very foundation of our fair village. I'm here now with an angry mob.
[The camera turns to the Old Monkey, Wild Cat, Stratford, Mrs. Vandersnout, the Walrus Male and Lady Walrus all screaming in protest. The Old Monkey speaks on Soar's microphone.]
Old Monkey: [Angrily] Sonic barged in and called Mike "Just a Guy", as if to say he was so much better than the rest of us. We begged him to stop, but he just kept berating the poor fella!
Walrus Male: That's Sonic! Living it up on the beach. He's lost touch with the common man.
[Eggman snatches the microphone off Soar.]
Dr. Eggman: Can you believe that guy? I mean the nerve of some people.

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Sonic: Yeah. Can I get a chili dog?
Dave the Intern: [Scratches his head] Oh, geez. That sure sounds complicated. Can you really trust me with that order? After all I'm "Just a Guy"?
Sonic: [Groans]

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Sonic is walking around in circles with the rest of Team Sonic sat around a table watching him with miserable looks.]
Sonic: All I did was call him a guy! Is that guy not a guy?
Amy: [Frowning] It's not what you said, Sonic. It's how you said it. But, I think the town will forgive you if they see [Speaks quickly while Sonic folds his arms] you making an effort to change your condescending high-handed appallingly insensitive attitude. Lucky for you, I happen to teach a sensitivity training seminar, every weekday morning 8am to 3pm. [Tails, Knuckles and Sticks turn to Amy] And there's enough open spots in the class for all of you.
[Tails, Knuckles and Sticks groan at Amy.]
Knuckles: [Frowning] Not cool, Sonic.

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

[At Amy's House, Team Sonic, Fastidious Beaver and Comedy Chimp are seen making hats out of paper.]
Knuckles: [Angrily] I still don't get why we have to do all this stupid training just because of Sonic's big dumb mouth.
[A whistle blows. Sonic and Knuckles sit up.]
Amy: Uh-uh-uhh. [Puts her hands on her hips] Insensitive remark. This training's not stupid. Now. How are everyone's sensitivity hats coming along?
[Sticks displays her hat. Everyone else looks at theirs. Sonic groans as he shows his hat to Amy.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

Amy: [Gently] When you find yourself frustrated, instead of lashing out at someone else, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and go to your happy place. [Normally] Let's practice that right now.
[The camera turns to everyone else with closed eyes, then turns to Sonic.]

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day.]

[Calming music plays. Sonic is relaxing in his hammock.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

[The camera turns to Tails' closed eyes]

[Scene Change: Sky, day.]

[Dramatic music plays. Tails is flying through open air doing some stunts.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

[The camera turns to Sticks' closed eyes]

[Scene Change: Jungle, day.]

[Sticks is seen with camouflaged painted on her fighting a Bee Bot, followed by a Crab Bot and another Bee Bot.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

Sticks: [With her eyes shut] That'll [Comedy Chimp half opens an eye] teach ya to team up with alien overlords, you robo-trash.
[Comedy Chimp nudges away from Sticks.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

Comedy Chimp: [Miserably] Now I realize that even though on the outside, I was hitting my sidekick with a mallet. On the inside, I was hitting myself, with a mallet of my own insecurities. [Starts crying loudly]
Knuckles: [Upset] It's OK, bro. [Holds Comedy Chimp's arms] I like to hit things too.
[Tails and Sticks show sad looks. The camera turns to Amy who sniffs and sheds a tear.]
Amy: Sonic, what do you care to share with the group?
Sonic: I don't know. I guess I could be more mindful of people's feelings and stuff?
[Comedy Chimp and Knuckles look at Sonic with their mouths open.]
Sonic: And... maybe I'll go talk to Mike, tell him I'm sorry?
[Everyone awes and show their hands to Sonic.]
Sonic: [Fed up] Alright. Bring it in.
[They gather round and hug Sonic.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Sonic: Listen, Mike. I was wrong to say you're just a guy.
Mike: And...?
Sonic: And... I'll never do it again?
Mike: And...?
Sonic: And... If you want, you're welcome to come with us to the next battle with Eggman.
Mike: Apology accepted. Can we go now?
Sonic: Well, no. We have to wait until Eggman launches an attack.
[Mike quickly finishes off his drink.]
Mike: How about now?
Sonic: No.
Mike: So... now? Let's go now.
Sonic: [Whispering to himself and shuts his eyes] Just go to your happy place, just go to your happy place.

[Scene Change: Beach, day.]

[Calming music plays. Sonic is seen relaxing in his hammock. Mike walks in.]
Mike: Uh, what's this? Your happy place or something? And when are we going to the battle? Now?
Sonic: [Groans]
[Sonic takes a deep breathe.]

[Scene Change: White void.]

[Sonic is seen standing, breathing a sigh of relief. Mike walks in again. Sonic gets a fright and turns to Mike.]
Mike: What's this? Your happier place? Cool. So can we go to the battle now?
[Sonic growls in frustration. A beeping sound is heard.]
Sonic: Wha?

[Scene Change: Beach, day.]

[A beeping sound is heard.]
Sonic: What?

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[A beeping sound is heard. Sonic opens his eyes.]

[Scene Change: Real world, day.]

[The camera flashes back to a man in a Sonic costume putting a sack in the trash can.]
Sonic: Oops, one too many.

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Sonic presses a button on his communicator.]
Tails: [On Communicator] Incoming attack from Eggman!
Sonic: OK, now!
Mike: Hold on a minute.
[Sonic grunts, loses his patience and drags Mike over to the battle.]

[Scene Change: Desert, day.]

[Sonic and Mike turn up with the rest of the gang. Eggman appears in his Eggmobile with Orbot and Cubot occupying the side seats. Mike lays a blanket out in the sand and sits down. Team Sonic turn to face him.]
Dr. Eggman: Behold, my latest invention...
[Cubot is ejected out of the seat and lands on Mike's right foot, breaking it. Mike struggles.]
Sonic: Oh boy. That's not good.

[Scene Change: Unnamed Village, day.]

[Mike is seen on a wheelchair with bandages around his right foot. Sonic walks the wheelchair through the village while the villagers watch him.]
Old Monkey: [Angrily] How could you take that fellow to a battle? He's not like you, Sonic. He's just a guy!
Sonic: Wait. Seriously? I only took him to the battle because you people...
[The villagers gasp]
Wolfie, Child Monkey, Old Monkey and Mrs. Vandersnout: You people?!

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

[Sonic, Tails and Sticks are seen sitting on the couch with their hats on. Sonic groans]
Amy: All right. Perhaps our enthusiasm yesterday was a bit premature. As it turns out, some people still have a long way to go in their training.
[Sticks and Tails turn to Sonic. Sonic shows an annoyed look]
Amy: But I'm sure that we'll all learn to be compassionate after tomorrow's [Punching the air] Sensitivity training camping trip!
[Everyone celebrates except for Sonic.]
Sonic: [Annoyed] You know what I think is compassionate? Saving the village from Eggman; like every week. But do I get any props for that? No. Everyone just goes around gasping at me when I call a guy "A Guy", or people "People"!
[Everyone gasps]
Sonic: [Shrieking] I quit hero-ing, and I quit this stupid group! [Throws his hat on the floor]
[Sonic walks off. Tense music plays as the Chameleon watches from a distance, turns around and laughs evilly.]

[Scene Change: Lightning Bolt Society hideout, day.]

Willy Walrus: [Shocked] Sonic the Hedgehog retired?
Tree Spy: Yeah. And the rest of his do-gooder friends are going on some lovey-dovey camping trip!
Weasel Bandit: The town is ours for the taking!
Dave: Wait. Didn't we try this once before already?
Willy: No. That was when Eggman retired. This time, Sonic's retiring. Totally different thing!
[As the Lightning Bolts celebrate, the camera zooms out and shows a Spy Bot recording the scene.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair.]

[Eggman, Orbot and Cubot are watching the footage.]
Orbot: Sounds like an opportunity to launch an offensive.
Cubot: Yeah, and you should attack too!
Dr. Eggman: No. If I do that, Sonic will come out of retirement and fight me! [Low voice] I'll need to bide my time. Wait for just the right moment.
Orbot: Ah. Do nothing at all. It's that kind of evil scheme that keeps you feared around the globe.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day.]

[Tense music plays. The Chameleon sees Sonic in his hammock through his binoculars. He turns and looks at the rest of the sensitivity group walking slowly up a hill while wearing their paper hats. He signals to the Weasel Bandits. One of them kicks a trash can into the skip. They give a high five. The skip lid closes. In another scene, Dave takes the toilet roll out of the holder and turns it the other way, putting it back on the holder, chuckling to himself.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[The Chameleon squeezes a carton of juice into Lady Walrus' glass.]
Lady Walrus: [Upset] But it's already in a juice container. Why dip it in a glass?

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Willy Walrus guides Mrs. Vandersnout through the village. A few seconds, later he lets go of her and runs away laughing evilly with his hands in the air. Feeling neglected, she looks up at the sky with a shrug and carries on walking.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Lady Goat: And tomatoes on the side, please.
[Dave puts tomatoes on the Meh Burger before putting the bun on top. He chuckles as he holds the tray.]

[Scene Change: Beach, day.]

[Four of the villagers look at Sonic, who is relaxing in his hammock.]
Lady Walrus: [Upset] Sonic. You have to do something about the Lightning Bolt Society.
Sonic: [Annoyed] Oh Whatever. I've eaten burritos more dangerous than the Lightning Bolts. [Puts on his sunglasses] Sorry guys. I'm retired.

[Scene Change: Farm, day.]

[Sheep are bleating behind a fence. the Lightning Bolt Society arrive at the scene.]
Weasel Bandit: Well well. Look what we have here. Offense, trying to dictate where we can and cannot go.
[Willy Walrus picks up a pair of fencing pliers and cuts open the wired fence.]
Dave: [Slowly ascending] Oh yeah. Anarchy baby! Wo-hoo!
[The group celebrate and hurry inside the farm. Dave smacks a sheep, forcing him to run. All the other sheep are alerted and run through the gap in the fence.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[The Sheep flock run towards Old Monkey and Lady Goat, who both scream and run away.]

[Scene Change: Beach, day]

[Sonic - having a drink - hears screaming in the distance.]
Sonic: So much for early retirement.
[Sonic dashes off, leaving the drink spinning in the air.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[The flock of sheep knock a palm tree over. With Chumley sitting on the bench, the tree falls onto the side of the bench, catapulting the baby up in the air.]
Lady Walrus: [Wailing] My Baby! [Low voice] Again. [Wailing] Somebody save my Baby! [Low voice] Again.
[As the baby falls, Sonic appears and catches him before he hits the ground. He hands Chumley back to Lady Walrus, who hugs him with glee.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair.]

Dr. Eggman: Now this feels like the right moment. He'll never see me coming.

[Scene Change: Unnamed Village, day.]

[Mrs. Vandersnout is being chased by the sheep until Sonic takes her away to safety. Sonic also rescues the Child Monkey hanging from a tree and Stratford while playing with his sandcastles, eventually with the flock running over them all. Sonic places Stratford in front of the villagers and runs back, dashing around the flock of sheep in a circle, stalling them in the process. Meanwhile, Eggman arrives in his Eggmobile with Orbot and CUbot and presses a button on the Eggmobile that unleashes a giant hand. The hand lowers towards Sonic and the flock. Mike watches on from the sidelines and is alarmed.]
Mike: Sonic! [Pointing up] Look out! It's Eggman!
Sonic: Huh?
[Sonic notices the hand lowering down on him and turns back, entering the flock of sheep. He ducks down and hides.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh...
[Eggman turns the hand upside-down and tries to scoop Sonic up in the air. Instead, it picks up some sheep and tosses them onto his Eggmobile, blinding him, Orbot and Cubot. Sonic gives another sheep a ride on his back and runs. The other sheep follow him. The hand pulls the Eggmobile across the village.]

[Scene Change: Farm, day.]

[The Lightning Bolt Society are lounging inside the fence.]
Weasel Bandit: What the heck is that?!
[The camera turns to Sonic and the Eggmobile speeding towards the farm. The hand tries to grab Sonic again but fails, instead scooping more sheep up onto the Eggmobile.]
Dr. Eggman: Can't see anything! What is going on?!
[Sonic takes the sheep on his back into behind the fence. He spin attacks the Eggmobile, sending it and the sheep flying. He then spin attacks the opening in the fence, fixing it and trapping the Lightning Bolt Society inside. The sheep fall on all the members, one at a time. The villagers celebrate next to Sonic.]
Old Monkey: We were wrong about you, Sonic. You are better than us.
Lady Walrus: Thank you for saving the village, and my baby! [Looks at the viewer] Again.
[The rest of Team Sonic plus Fastidious and Comedy Chimp arrive at the scene.]
Amy: I knew if we left you alone long enough, you'd step up and save the day.
Sonic: While I appreciate you taking partial credit for my heroics, Amy, there is someone that actually deserves my thanks: Mike. [Stands next to Mike] Without his help, I never would've seen Eggman coming. You're more than just a guy, Mike. You're a hero.
Mike: Oh. Neato.
Dave: Oh man. We thought we were the baddest in town, but then Eggman showed up with his claw doodad.
Wild Cat: Look. I appreciate what you're trying to do, but you're just not good at it.
Villagers: [Mumbling] Yeah. Not good at it.
Willy: [Groans] And I suppose you people could do better.
[The villagers gasp.]

[Scene Change: Amy's House, day.]

Amy: Let's see those sensitivity hats, boys.
[The Lightning Bolt Society, Tails and Sticks display their hats and the screen fades to black.]
Transcripts

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