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Sonic Boom
It Wasn't Me, It Was the One-Armed Hedgehog (Transcript)

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This is transcript for the Sonic Boom episode "It Wasn't Me, It Was the One-Armed Hedgehog".

[Scene: Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Eggman was dusting his gadgets]
Dr. Eggman: Pretty, pretty, pretty, my toys so full of evil. It warms my stony heart to think of the bad that we'll achieve. Oh, your much fun, Oh, so much fun 'cause I am your creator, from tiny robot pickpockets to my Particle Accelerator? My Particle Accelerator![Screams] My birds![Screams again]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

Beaver Policeman: So, Dr. Eggman does this particle accelerator have any distinguishing feautures that will help us identify it?
Dr. Eggman: Lets see, it has a small scratch on its left side so there's that and also, it's a Particle Accelerator! You got a lot of those roaming the streets of your village! Hmm, genius? I'm sorry, I'm just so upset!
Sonic: [Bites into a chili dog] I've never seen him like this, I kind of like it

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, hallway.]

Orbot: And this is Dr. Eggman's Thinkcubator, where he hatches his brilliant ideas, get it? [Crickets chirping can be heard] Pearls before swine and it was from here, that Dr. Eggman's Particle Accelerator was stolen
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Mike the Ox: Not his Particle Accelerator, I was hoping to get a picture with it. This tour bites.
Dr. Eggman: It was about yay big, it was made of polished titanium, it accelerated particles am I leaving anything out?
Sonic: [Bored] Someone wanna remind me why I'm here?
Dr. Eggman: Because you stole it! [Turns around and points at Sonic]
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Sonic: That's nuts
Dr. Eggman: If it wasn't you, then why was my lair littered with ... chili dog scraps? [Camera shows scraps of chili dogs on the floor]
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Sonic: [Eats chili dog, leaving only a piece of the bun] I don't know [Throws the bun piece on the floor]
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Dr. Eggman: And look at these footprints
[Camera shows footprints. The Beaver Policeman looks at Sonic, footprints lead to where he's sitting. Places Sonic foot onto the footprint and looks at the bottom of Sonic's shoe that is an exact match]
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Sonic: Would you stop gasping dramatically?
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically again]
Sonic: Seriously guys, I'm the hero [Points to Eggman] He's the villain, I'm mean he has an evil lair [Gestures to Eggman's Lair] He has mindless henchmen, No offense
Cubot: No, I think you're on to something here
Beaver Policeman: Sorry, Doctor Eggman I'd love to close this case but before I can arrest Sonic I'm gonna need more. Like, if this was part of a pattern
Wolf Policeman: [Carrying a crate] Sarge what do you want me to put this crate of recent photos of crime scenes, where partial eaten chili dogs and Sonic-shaped footprints were found?
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Beaver Policeman: That'll do it. Sonic T. Hedgehog, you are under arrest you have the right to remain silent.
Tourists: [Gasp dramatically]
Dr.Eggman: [Laughs victoriously]
Sonic: You leave me no choice. I'll find the real theif and clear my name, know why? [Points to himself] Hero [Runs off]