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Sonic Underground
Haircraft in Space (transcript)

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This is a transcript of the Sonic Underground episode, "Haircraft in Space".

[The Sonic Underground theme song plays]
Aleena (narrating): Sometimes, the struggle of a Freedom Fighter wears on the spirit. But as Sonia would soon learn, relaxing one's guard for even a second leaves room for unscrupulous attack.
Doo Bot: Perminator Salon, where our slogan is "Hair-sta la vista, baby!" Doo Bot speakin'. [chattering on the phone] Oh dear, now that is an emergency! Well you just get your frizzy little self down here! [hangs up and wheels over to a customer] Welp, guess who tried to do her own hair again. Tried it and fried it!
Customer: That's so typical. I told her not to trust anybody but you!
Doo Bot: Really? [turns hypnotic] What else didn't you tell her?
Customer: That I think Doctor Robotnik is a ridiculous... conceited... buffoon.
Doo Bot: You don't say! [returns to normal] Okay sweetie, that's it! You're done.
Customer: Ooh, perfect as usual! No wonder you're the hottest hairdresser in Robotropolis!
Doo Bot: Oh! Oh, I-I didn't see you there. [Sleet and Dingo gang up on her] [gasps] Sorry, b-but this area isn't for customers!
Dingo: [growls]
Doo Bot: Heeelp! Police! Masher! Look into now...!
Sleet: Finally!
Computer: Security system disabled.
Sleet: Give me a blank tape. [inserts the tape and reboots Doo Bot] Okay, let's get out of here!
Doo Bot: Who's neeext?
Manic: Oh, man, that was the coolest last night! Oh, the Prince of Dorkness sure got his, didn't he?
Sonic: Yep! He's gonna have to find some place else to build his bots now.
Sonia: I cannot believe how primitive my life has become. [Manic's drumsticks keep tapping] Oh, Manic, would you keep it down?!
Manic: Sure!
Sonia: Urrrrgh!
Manic: Man, everybody's a critic.
Sonic: Hey, nice do, sis! You look like a... recycle bin.
Sonia: Sonic Hedgehog, you left an open can of soda in the living room!
Sonic: Thanks, sis! So that's where I left it.
Sonia: "Thanks, sis?!" I just poured it all over my head! Now I have to shampoo my hair again!
Sonic: Hey, take a chill pill, sis. You used up all my soda and I'm not mad.
Sonia: Arrrgh!
Sonia: Manic, have you seen my hairdryer?
Manic: What? I can't hear you over that hairdryer!
Sonia: [gasps]
Sonic: Want a chili dog?
Sonia: SONIC!
Sonic: Yeah, I know, it's taking too long! I'll turn it up to high!
Sonia: No! It's gonna short!
Sonic: [gasps]
Sonic and Sonia: Ahh! Ugh!
Sonic: Well, I guess I'm not hungry after all. [chuckles]
Sonia: Sonic Hedgehog, you are so in trouble!
Manic: [gasps] Uh-oh, royal mad at six o'clock!
Sonia: Huh? [picks up a salon magazine] Oh, I deserve this. I so deserve this!
Sonia: [sighs]
Doo Bot: Isn't that the new Tex-Mex mousse? Ooh, a little sticky, huh...
Sonia: You wouldn't believe me if I told you.
Doo Bot: Don't you worry, honey. A little aromatherapy'll take care of all your worries! Do you want a "aura massage"?
Sonia: I want the works!
Doo Bot: Ah, sweetie, you are stressed! Why don't you tell Doo Bot all about it? [turns hypnotic] Just tell me all about it!
Sonia: Well, our last mission was just really hard, and the new rebel base is so cramped and dirty.
Doo Bot: Rebel base?
Sonia: Yeah... The command center is located right under Robotnik's backyard.
Customer (tape recording): Every time Robotnik says "excellent", I can hardly keep from laughing. I think it's the only superlative he knows! [sniggers]
Robotnik: Well it's a good thing I made that Doo Bot to keep tabs on my allies. Anyone who speaks against me will be immediately roboticized! And pick up that next tape! From the Doo Bot!
Sleet: It'll be a pleasure, sir.
Robotnik: Exce- [clears throat] Um... good.
Sonia: Oh, it's exquisite! You're a life saver. A life saver! [Sleet walks in] [gasps]
[customers panic in fright]
Sonia: Sleet and Dingo?!
Sleet: Hedgehog! [Sonia tries to escape] Get her...!
Dingo: Sonia...
Sleet: Get that Doo Bot!
Dingo: Raargh!
Sonia: [gasps] Urrgh! [strains] [pushes a cabinet down] Hiiiiii-yah!
Dingo: Ugh! [groans] [Doo Bot launches him into the ceiling] Whoaaa! Oof!
Sonia: What did he want with you?
Dingo: Ah, I have no idea, sweetie. Emergency facial, perhaps?
Sonia: Ahh!
Sleet: Not so fast, hedgehog!
Sonia: Heeeeeee-yah!
Sleet: Eaaahhh... [looks up] Huh?! [gets covered in hair mousse] What's this? Whoa!
Sonia: [laughs] The Doo Bot. I lost her! [looks around] The Doo Bot's gone!
Bartleby: Sonia, thanks for coming. You've got to see this!
Sleet: Anyone who knows the Doo Bot's location, contact Doctor Robotnik immediately. This robot is considered dangerous and very crafty!
Dingo: Yeah, she got away before we could even get the tape out of her!
Sleet: Quiet!
Bartleby: I think Robotnik's been using the Doo Bot to tape our conversations!
Sonia: What? Why?
Bartleby: There's something about that Doo Bot. Something that makes me talk more. About Robotnik! Very odd...
Sonia: Now that you mention it, that Doo Bot was doing something strange...
Bartleby: Sonia, people are disappearing. And I saw the Doo Bot today and I dumped on Robotnik like mad! I'm sure he'll think I'm a traitor!
Sonia: Yeah... Hmm, what did I say? Chili, shampoo, massage, hm... [gasps] Oh no! Cramped dirty secret rebel base! I can't believe I said that!
Bartleby: Can you find the Doo Bot before Robotnik gets it?
Sonia: Oh, I have to! If Sonic and Manic find out what I gave away, they'll never forgive me for putting Freedom Fighters!
Sonia: So that's it. The Doo Bot's out there and nobody knows where!
Sonic: Bummer(!)
Sonia: Listen guys, Bartleby needs our help!
Sonic: Look Sonia, I know those aristo-butts are close friends of yours...
Manic: But they're gettin' what they deserve. And gossip always comes back to bite ya, just like the song says!
Sonic: What song?
Manic: The one I'm makin' up, dude!
["Don't Be A Backstabber" plays]
Sonia: Well, I've gotta help him!
Sonic: Hey, if it's that important to you sis, we're there.
Sonia: [sighs] [the door alarm rings] Huh? Are you expecting anyone?
Manic: Not us!
Sonia: Oh my gosh!
Doo Bot: Oh, it's you! Thank goodness. It's so nice to be here, safe at last! They were chasing me, can you imagine that? And then I was wandering around the city, when I thought I smelled a familiar cream rinse. The nose knows, you know?
Manic: [giggles]
Doo Bot: Can you help me find out why they were chasing me, huh, huh, HUH?! Ohhh, my! What a nice place you have here!
Manic: [giggles] Huh?
Doo Bot: Who is this handsome young frog?
Manic: I'm, uh... Manic!
Doo Bot: What's your story, morning glory?
Manic: I'm Sonia's brother, son of Queen Aleena.
Sonic: Huh?
Manic: Separated at birth, we-
Sonic: Hey, what's with you, bro? [shakes Manic] Sorry, he gets dropped on his head a lot. Name's Sonic.
Doo Bot: The famous Sonic! I've heard so much about you. [turns hypnotic] But I'm sure you could tell me more...
Sonia: Huh? [gasps]
Sonic: Well, er, I'm really fast and I know I'm impatient.
Sonia: Isn't this interesting...?
Sonic: I'm known for my speed... huh?
Sonia: Mobius to Sonic!
Sonic: Hey, what's happenin', sis?
Sonia: She hypnotises people! Well you know, if we're going to help you, we need to check something out.
Sonic and Manic: Huh?
Sonia: How do you like that? A tape player!
Doo Bot: Didn't know I had it in me! [laughs squeakily]
Sonia: [strains] This thing's in here tight!
Manic: Let me! [gets shocked by Doo Bot's chest] Ooh! Whoa, oh! [hits the wall] Oof!
Sonic: Nice do!
Doo Bot: Don't worry, honey. I can fix that!
Sonia: You know, Bartleby knows a bot expert. Maybe he could get that tape out!
Sonic: Done, sis! We'll jam as soon as it's dark.
Sonia: Great!
Sonic: Is that bot strange, or what?
Manic: Yep, it wouldn't break my heart if Buttnik got her back.
Sonic: Hey, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?
Manic: Let the Doo Bot slip to Robotnik? Yo, what about Bartleby?
Sonic: Shhh... he'll be fine! Buttnik's not gonna roboticize his bread and butter! So... deal? [Manic slaps his hand in agreement] While we're out tonight, that bot gets the boot!
Sonia: Strange... we've never come here before! I'll wash the windshield.
Sonic: Cool! [watches a scanner robot] Told ya! Always surveillance bots around here.
Doo Bot: Are we there yet?
Robotnik: Excellent- um... very, very good! The Doo Bot is with the hedgehogs. Deploy more surveillance bots, then follow them! I want that bot!
Doo Bot: We're here? Oh, finally! I got such a cramp in my gears.
Manic: Okay, where are they?
Sonic: No clue. I think here Robotnik's guys would've jumped us way before this!
Bartleby: Sonic! Sonia! That you?
Sonia: Guys, guys!
Manic: [gasps]
Sonia: Bot attack!
Sonic: Remember: make it look good! [tries shooting the ships] Huh?
Sonia: Where'd they go?
Doo Bot: Aaaaaahhh! [a flying SWATbot grabs her] Let me go, you big oaf! Aaaahh! Aaaaahh!
Sonic: Mission accomplished, my man!
Sonia: Oh, we're too late!
Sonic: Aw, too bad! They got the Doo Bot! [sees Sleet's ship] Wuh-oh. Not good. Look!
Sleet: You, my friend, have a date with Robotnik!
Sonia: Nooo!
Sonic: No way, they can't be serious!
Manic: Aw, man! We should've never tipped them off... whoops.
Sonia: You what?! [Sonic and Manic cast a forlorn look] No, it's my fault. I should've leveled with you. There's more than gossip on that Doo Bot's tape. When I was at the salon, I blabbed the location of the new secret base.
Sonic and Manic: No, what?!
Sonic: It's okay, sis. But you shoulda told us.
Sonia: Oh, I'm sorry! But what do we do now?
Sonic: What else? The traditional doin' it to it! Hang on!
Sonic: Who wants what?
Sonia: I got Bartleby.
Sonic: Then we got the Doo Bot. Let's break!
Bartleby: Don't worry, all. If there's one thing you can count on, it's... [Sonia breaks into the cell through a vent] my Sonia!
SWATbot: Dead vent to the control room.
Sonia: Let's go!
Doo Bot: OW! Watch it, pal!
Sleet: Hurry up! Robotnik will be here any minute. [takes the tape from Dingo] However, it wouldn't hurt to give it a preview...
Dingo: UGH!
Sonic: Thanks!
Sleet: Oh no, you don't. I need that!
Manic: Gah!
Sonic: Whoaaa, goin' down! [hits the ground] Ugh!
Sleet: Not this time, hedgehog!
Manic: Comin' through!
Sleet: Oof... ugh! [Doo Bot runs over his fingers] Yowww!
Sonic: Let's juice and jam!
Robotnik: Now you're mine, hedgehogs!
Sonic: You know, a plan would really shake a spot just now.
Robotnik: D'oh! Oh... yaaahh!
Doo Bot: [blows] Just like using a blow dryer!
Sonic and Manic: [laughs]
Doo Bot: You've got the tape... [sniffs] get outta here...
Sonic: We're not leaving you behind! Let's go!
Doo Bot: You're... you're takin' me with you? I, I-I'm speechless!
Manic: Whoa, that's an opposite!
Sonia: Hey, when did she go military?
Sonic: Cool, huh?
Doo Bot: [blows]
Sonic: You're all right, Doo Bot.
Sonia: We thought you might want to dispose of this.
Bartleby: Thanks. [throws the tape on the fire] But I've got to get out of here. Robotnik still knows what we think of him.
Sonia: Well, we have a plan!
Sleet: Hey, there it is! Let's get it aboard!
Sleet: We found her sir, but... they removed the tape.
Robotnik: You rebellious hunk of junk! What do you have to say for yourself?
Doo Bot: You will remember nothing about the tape you could, or anything that happened today.
Robotnik, Sleet and Dingo: We will remember nothing. We will remember nothing.
Sonic: Sweet!
Sonic, Manic and Sonia: [laughs]
[The credits roll]