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Grounder the Genius

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This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Grounder the Genius".

[The episode begins at Dr. Robotnik's fortress. Robotnik is waiting impatiently by his computer.]

Dr. Robotnik: Come on, you oversized calculator! Let's have that microchip!

[Robotnik slams his left fist on the desk holding up the computer.]

Computer: Patience, Dr. Robotnik. I am downloading the genius program onto the chip as we speak.

[Sure enough, an arm can be seen in a tube, zapping a microchip. It soon finishes the job.]

Computer: Job complete.
Robotnik: It'll all be worth it if this chip really makes my magnificent mind ten times smarter.

[Robotnik picks up the microchip with his right hand. He then reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a helmet, with a compartment for microchips. He places the microchip into the helmet's compartment and puts the helmet on his head. The helmet activates, zapping Robotnik's tiny brain, and making it ten times bigger. Robotnik jumps into the air as a result.]

Robotnik: Eureka! Now I am a true egg-head! Scratch! Grounder!

[Robotnik whistles with his right hand. He impatiently taps his left foot as Scratch and Grounder appear behind him in tubes. He looks around, then turns to them in surprise. He grumbles unintelligibly to them, and they slap their heads with their right hands. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Scratch is straining heavily. It is then revealed he is pushing back a giant mousetrap. He then secures the trap, then wipes his head with a hankerchief in his right hand.]

Scratch: All right, put out the bait!

[Grounder pulls out a giant worm, which he is holding in his left hand. Scratch swats it out of his hand with his right hand.]

Scratch: The doll, you dodo! The doll!

[Grounder pulls out a doll resembling Tails, which he is holding in his left hand.]

Grounder: Oh. Heh heh. Yeah.

[Scratch pulls on the Tails Doll's string with his left hand.]

Tails Doll: Help. Save Me. Sonic. Help.

[Scratch points to the mousetrap with his right index finger. Grounder throws the Tails Doll onto the mousetrap trigger, nearly setting the trap off. Scratch holds back the trap.]

Scratch: Whoa! Will you be careful? Now hide! Sonic will be along any second!

[Scratch grabs Grounder by the antenna with his left hand. He then runs behind a bush, with Grounder in tow. He then reaches out from the bush with his right arm and pulls the Tails' Doll's string.]

Tails Doll: Save me. Sonic. Help. Save Me. Sonic. Help. Save me. Sonic. Help. Save Me. Sonic. Help. Save me. Sonic. Help.

[Sonic cups his left hand to his left ear, hearing the Tails Doll's cries for help. He then rushes over to the mousetrap. He is surprised to see the Tails Doll.]

Tails Doll: Help. Save Me. Sonic.

[Sonic slaps his head with his left hand and laughs hysterically.]

Sonic: Oh, man! Robotnik is really slipping if he expects me to fall for something this bogus!

[Sonic presses his left index finger to the Tails Doll's head. He then turns toward the bush.]

Sonic: Hmmm.

[Sonic tiptoes towards the bush. Behind the bush are two dolls resembling Scratch and Grounder. Sonic spins around the bush and towards the mousetrap, throwing the Scratch and Grounder dolls onto the trigger, knocking the Tails doll off and trapping them. When Sonic stops spinning, he looks at the Scratch and Grounder dolls in shock.]

Sonic: Huh?

[Sonic pulls the Grounder Doll's head out of the trap with his left hand, and all the stuffing falls out of it. He then points to the head with his right index finger.]

Sonic: Those dummies are really dummies!

[Scratch and Grounder are on a rock. Scratch is spying on Sonic through a pair of binoculars.]

Scratch: Now! Now! Spring the trap!

[Grounder turns his right drill into a hand holding a remote control, and presses a button. Back at the mousetrap, Sonic is holding the body of the now-beheaded Scratch doll with both hands.]

Sonic: Someone pulled a fast one on me?

[Just then, a set of giant metal jaws emerges from under the mousetrap. Sonic jumps up just in time to avoid getting caught in it.]

Sonic: Uh-oh!

[Sonic lands just outside the jaws. He hits his head with his left hand.]

Sonic: Phew! Talk about a close shave.

[Sonic walks up to the jaws and knocks on them with his left hand.]

Sonic: Solid diamond? This plan's way too ingenious for Robotnik.

[Sonic runs away as Scratch and Grounder run up to the jaws. Scratch picks Grounder up by his head with his left hand.]

Scratch: Grounder, you dope! If you weren't so slow, we'd have had him!
Grounder: Well, look on the bright side, Scratch. At least we didn't get trashed this time. I mean, I can't remember the last time we went after Sonic, and didn't get...

[The jaws fall on Scratch and Grounder, flattening them.]

Grounder: Trashed.

[Sonic, now with Tails, witnesses the event from atop a boulder.]

Sonic: That mousetrap setup looked so lame, Robotnik had me conned! He's gotta have a new computer or something.
Tails: I know! Let's ask Hacker! You always said he was a real computer expert!
Sonic: No, I said he's a real computer nerd!
Tails: But let's try him! Come on!

[Tails grabs Sonic's right hand with his right hand, and runs off, with Sonic in tow. The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place in Robotnik's fortress. Scratch has his head tucked into his body, and Grounder is holding his disembodied head in his right arm.]

Scratch: We almost had Sonic, but thanks to Grounder, we...

[Robotnik runs up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: You don't have to tell me! I can see what happened!
Grounder: Hey, you are getting smart!

[Robotnik swats Grounder's head with his left hand, causing it to fly into the air and land on Scratch's head.]

Grounder: Ugh!

[Robotnik walks up to his computer.]

Robotnik: At least I'm smart enough to know what went wrong. I need more brain power, and now I shall have it!

[Robotnik grabs his computer with both hands and picks it up.]

Robotnik: My computer randomly combined every program available. It was a million-to-one shot, but the result was this;

[Robotnik points to the computer's screen with his right index finger.]

Robotnik: A program that will make me a thousand times smarter. I'll be the greatest genius who ever lived!

[Meanwhile, Grounder's body is looking for his head, which is still on top of Scratch's head.]

Grounder: I thought he already was. That's what he always tells us.
Scratch: Shut up!

[Scratch swats Grounder's head off his body with his left hand, causing it to fly into the air. Robotnik is now kissing his computer, when Grounder's head lands on his right foot.]

Robotnik: Yeow!
Grounder: Oh! Sorry, Dr. Robotnik. Heh heh. Guess I lost my head.
Robotnik [heard offscreen]: You break-away bumpkin!

[Robotnik tosses Grounder's head back onto Scratch's head. Scratch grunts as Grounder's head falls through his head.]

Computer: Security alert, Dr. Robotnik.

[Robotnik's Computer's static turns to a pair of glasses, which are used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place at Hacker's house. On Hacker's computer, a pair of jaws can be seen munching morterboards, with a number above, going from 1 to 15. During this scene, the actual "Jump" sound effect from the Sonic the Hedgehog game is used.]

Hacker [heard offscreen]: Hey! My virus cracked the system!

[Hacker's computer screen now flashes red and yellow, using the "Ring" sound effect from the Sonic the Hedgehog game. Hacker's shadow can be seen overlooking the computer]

Hacker: Wow! What a humongous program!

[Hacker turns to an intelligence booster device, which resembles a toaster.]

Hacker: It looks like some kind of intelligence booster. Maybe I can download it on a microchip.

[Hacker picks up a microchip with his left hand, then puts it in the intelligence booster with his right. He presses the switch with the same hand, and the intelligence booster begins downloading the program. Back at Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik's computer is trying to warn Robotnik about a security breach.]

Computer: Doctor, this is an emergency.

[Robotnik runs up to the computer.]

Robotnik: Silence!

[The computer ducks as Robotnik walks up to Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik: In a moment, that super-genius program will be written onto a microchip, and attached to my head.

[Robotnik puts his left hand on Grounder's head.]

Robotnik: And when I'm a thousand times smarter than I am right now, maybe, just maybe, I'll figure out some use for you!

[Robotnik puts his right index finger over Grounder's nose. He then picks up Grounder and runs, with him in tow, to a desk with a stack of papers on it. He puts Grounder on the stack of papers.]

Robotnik: Like maybe "The world's largest paperweight"!

[Robotnik runs back to his computer and taps it with his left index finger.]

Robotnik: All right! Download my super-genius program, and make it snappy!
Computer: I have been trying to tell you, I was just invaded by a computer virus. Achoo!

[Robotnik's computer sneezes at Robotnik, causing him to wipe his face with both hands. Robotnik's computer then sprouts a right arm and wipes its screen with its right index finger.]

Computer: It copied the whole program, and then erased it from my memory.
Robotnik: What? Erased?

[Robotnik picks up the computer with both hands and shakes it violently.]

Robotnik: Well, stop jabbering and get it back! Make another program!
Computer: Sorry, no can do. You said it yourself: the super-genius program was a million-to-one accident.

[Robotnik chokes his computer.]

Robotnik: Who did this?! Who dared to enter my cyberspace and steal my program?!

[Robotnik tosses his computer on the floor, destroying it to pieces. Back at the desk, Grounder is crying as Scratch points to him with his right index finger. Robotnik runs up to them.]

Robotnik: Scratch! Grounder!

[Robotnik reaches into a box with his left hand and pulls out a remote control, which he hands to Scratch.]

Robotnik: Take this computer network sensor, track down the vandal who copied my program, and drag them here!

[Robotnik slams his right hand onto the desk, which Grounder now holds with his drills.]

Scratch: Yes, your viciousness!

[Grounder sniffles.]

Grounder: Does this mean I'm not gonna be a paperweight?

[Robotnik presses his head and right index finger at Grounder's head.]

Robotnik: It means, if you fail me, you're scrap metal! Get going!

[Scratch runs away. Grounder rolls behind, causing pieces of paper to fly at Robotnik. Some stick to his face, and one with a picture of a power plant on it is used as a transition to the next scene, where Tails flies Sonic to Hacker's house. They land near Hacker's front door]

Tails: Hi, Hacker. What you doing?

[Hacker walks up to Sonic and Tails.]

Hacker: Hiya, Tails, Sonic. Just taking a peek at someone's program.

[Hacker grabs Tails' right hand with his right, and shakes it.]

Tails: You mean you can get into somebody else's computer?
Hacker: They haven't made the system I can't crack!
Sonic: So, what are we waiting for?

[Sonic grabs Tails' left hand with his right, and Hacker's right hand with his left.]

Sonic: Get crackin'!

[Sonic runs into Hacker's house, with Tails and Hacker in tow. Scratch and Grounder are standing atop Hacker's house, and Scratch is holding the remote in his right hand.]

Scratch: Lot of computer activity nearby. Get ready to pinch this crook!

[Grounder turns his drills into pairs of claws. Sonic, Tails, and Hacker are now inside Hacker's house.]

Hacker: Almost done.
Grounder [heard offscreen]: Ha ha! You're more than done,
Sonic, Tails, and Hacker: [all yelp]

[Sonic, Tails and Hacker stare in shock as Grounder's right claw reaches in through the stairway.]

Grounder [heard offscreen]: You're done for!

[Grounder's right claw grabs Hacker by the nose and pulls him away.]

Scratch: Yeah, you messed with the wrong computer!

[Sonic and Tails peek out from behind, then run away. Scratch and Grounder move out of the way as cannon with legs plugs itself into Hacker's house. The fuse lights, then the cannon explodes, much like the Bomb enemy from the Sonic the Hedgehog game. The explosion destroy's Hacker's house, and Scratch and Grounder walk up to the destruction and look down.]

Sonic [heard offscreen in a nerdy voice]: Er, excuse me, gentlemen. This is my computer,

[Sonic is revealed to be dressed like a nerd.]

Sonic: I take full responsibility for what occured.

[Grounder rolls up to Sonic]

Grounder: Okay, wise guy, you're taking a trip!

[Grounder tosses Hacker aside. Tails catches Hacker in his arms as Grounder, who is holding Sonic in his left hand, turns his right claw into a hand with a pair of handcuffs, which he puts over Sonic's hands. Grounder tries to tow Sonic along, but Sonic pulls his hands out of the handcuffs, revealing another pair of hands attached to wires, which Grounder is struggling to pull.]

Grounder: Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

[Grounder turns around, revealing the wires to belong to a pair of pylons, which launch him into the air.]

Grounder: Whoa!

[Sonic is now leaning against a radiator, which he has his left hand on. Scratch glares down at him. A crash can be heard in the distance, indicating that Grounder crash-landed.]

Scratch: Say, who do you think you are?!
Sonic: You'll find the answer shocking.

[Sonic runs away as Scratch jumps at him, grabbing the radiator instead, which electrocutes him.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

[The radiator explodes, launching Scratch into the air, and causing him to land in the crater where Hacker's house used to be.]

Scratch: Ow-how!

[As Scratch has his head buried in the crater, Grounder is holding his head in his left arm, and putting pieces inside it with his right hand.]

Grounder: Oooh. I feel so... lightheaded. I hope I can find everything.

[The microchip that Hacker downloaded the genius program onto can be seen flashing on a table. Grounder picks up the chip with his right hand and puts it in his head. He grabs his head with both hands and shakes it, then puts it back on his body. Grounder suddenly dons the typical genius look, which consists of a black morterboard, a monocole on his right eye, a purple robe, and white gloves. Grounder also has a giant brain in between his head and morterboard. His voice also changes to a genius' voice.]

Grounder: Extraordinary!

[Grounder's brain shrinks into his head.]

Grounder: I'm brilliant. Ingenius! Omnisient!

[Grounder jumps toward Scratch, who pokes his head out of the rubble.]

Scratch: Om-what? What are you babbling about?

[A light shines over Scratch and Grounder.]

Robotnik [heard offscreen]: You metallic morons!

[A claw lowers towards Scratch and Grounder and scoops them up. The light and the claw are both revealed to be part of Robotnik's Egg-o-Matic hovercraft, which Robotnik is now standing in.]

Robotnik: You let Sonic escape! I'll scrap all the both of you into junk!

[Robotnik grabs Scratch and Grounder by their necks. Scratch in his left hand, and Grounder in his right.]

Grounder: Ah, ah, ah, not so fast, my ovoid friend. Let us be logical!

[Grounder holds up his left hand, and points to Scratch with his left index finger.]

Grounder: Scratch had the sensor, thus, it was he who lead us into disaster!
Scratch: What? But I... Oh...

[Scratch grumbles unintelligibly. Robotnik lets go of Grounder and points to Scratch with his right index finger.]

Robotnik: Hmmm. Amazingly, you have a point. All right, I'll just junk Scratch.

[Robotnik holds Scratch by his head feather over the edge of the Egg-o-Matic.]

Grounder: Ah, rather inadvisable. Scratch can be of significant use in a strategen I have to apprehend Sonic.

[Robotnik points to Grounder with his right index finger.]

Robotnik: You have a strategen? You?
Grounder: Yes. It involves molecular rearrangement, and elementary nano-technology.
Robotnik: Tell me more.
Grounder: We'll discuss it on the journey back to our abode. Incidentally, I'll need a lackey to attend to my needs.
Robotnik: You can have Scratch.
Scratch: What? Oh-ho!

[Robotnik pulls Scratch up, and the Egg-o-Matic flies away. Back in the crater, Sonic and Tails watch as Hacker is holding up his destroyed computer.]

Hacker: I downloaded the genius program onto a chip, but now it's gone!
Sonic: Gone? How?
Hacker: I can only conclude that those badniks took it.

[Sonic grabs Hacker by the collar of his shirt]

Sonic: Are you telling me Robotnik's got super brain power?

[Hacker pulls out a microchip with his left hand and hold it up.]

Hacker: With the genius chip, he does. But, you can do a quick switch of the genius chip for this stupid chip. This'll only make him half as smart as he is.
Sonic: Maybe you're smarter than I thought. I sure hope you can outthink Robotnik.

[Meanwhile, at the courtyard of Robotnik's fortress, Scratch is wearing an apron and holding a brush in his right hand as he cleans the path to a gazebo, where Grounder is playing a majestic tune on the piano. Scratch walks down the path, holding the brush in his right hand and a bucket in his left.]

Grounder: Uh, you neglected a spot over there.
Scratch: All right, all right, all right! I'll get it!
Grounder: "I'll get it", what?
Scratch: D'oh! I'll get it, Mr. Grounder, sir.
Grounder: Ah, splendid. But don't clench your teeth when you address me, and we really must engineer an upgrade for that squawk box you call a voice.

[Scratch tosses the brush and bucket aside]

Scratch: D'oh! That does it! I don't know what that meant, but I know it's an insult!

[Grounder stops playing the piano. He is now holding a remote control in his left hand.]

Grounder: Oh, dear. Must I again demonstrate my cerebral superiority? Initiate fast peck mode.

[Grounder presses a button on the remote. Scratch runs towards Grounder, then stops, and turns into a jackhammer. He starts drilling through the ground, making a giant hole.]

Scratch: Hey-hey-hey-hey-hey, hey-hey! Okay, okay!

[Grounder presses the button again, turning Scratch back to normal.]

Grounder: Now, carry on like a good lackey.

[Scratch, who now has a badly-bent beak, pulls his head out of the hole and holds his right hand up to his head.]

Grounder: An invention has just occured to me.

[Back at the power plant, Tails carries a giant power cord in his arms up to Hacker, who is holding a laptop in his hands. Tails plugs the cord into the laptop. He and Hacker both look at the screen, which has a lot of static.]

Hacker: Now, if I can just tap into Robotnik's security monitors, we can see how Sonic's doing.
Tails: Lucky you have a spare computer.

[The static clears, revealing Scratch holding a brush in his right hand and a dust pan in his left as he sweeps up some dust.]

Tails: You did it! I can see Scratch!

[There is a knock on the door in the distance. Scratch walks up to the door and opens it, revealing Sonic dressed in a light blue pair of overalls and a light blue hat.]

Sonic: Chip recycler! Any old microchips lying around you want to sell? Like this one?

[Sonic holds up the stupid chip with his right hand.]

Scratch: Hmmm. I've seen a chip like that before.

[Grounder rolls up to Scratch and Sonic.]

Grounder: Naturally you have. It resembles the genius chip I put in my head.

[Grounder points to his head with his left index finger.]

Sonic: That's all I wanted to hear!

[Sonic spins, removing his disguise. Grounder pulls out a remote with his left hand and presses a button. A grey ray zaps Sonic, turning his feet to stone.]

Sonic: I can't move my feet! What's going on?
Grounder: Isn't it obvious, Sonic, old boy?

[As Grounder talks to Sonic, Sonic slowly turns to stone, from his feet to his head, ending up in a stupified pose.]

Grounder: My new petrifying ray is transforming you into stone!

[Grounder laughs evilly. Later that day, the petrified Sonic is taken to Robotnik's courtyard. Robotnik, who is no longer wearing his helmet, and his head is back to its normal size, is impressed with Grounder for having petrified Sonic.]

Robotnik: Incredible! You mean, your invention petrified Sonic?

[Robotnik walks to the other side of the petrified Sonic and waves his right hand in front of his face. He then taps his feet joyfully.]

Grounder: Oh, it was nothing.

[Grounder removes his monocole with his right hand and breathes on it. He then puts it back over his right eye.]

Grounder: A little gadget I tinkered together on my lunch hour.
Robotnik: Most impressive. Hmmm, I'm a better robot builder than I thought!

[The screen irises out on Robotnik and the petrified Sonic. That night, Tails and Hacker are still outside the power plant when Tails removes the electrical cord from Hacker's laptop.]

Tails: Come on, we gotta get going!
Hacker: G-going? Where?
Tails: To save Sonic, of course!

[Tails grabs Hacker by his shirt with both hands and pulls him back.]

Hacker: L-look, heh, Sonic was right. I don't get out much.

[As he is talking, Hacker removes his glasses with his left hand and is now holding a hankerchief in his right, which he uses to wipe his glasses with.]

Hacker: I think I'd better wait here a-and monitor things.

[As Hacker puts his glasses back on, Tails picks up Hacker's laptop with both hands and flies away with it.]

Hacker: Wait! Bring that back!

[Hacker tries to follow Tails, but accidentally trips over the rock Tails was sitting on and lands on his face..]

Hacker: Ooof! Aw!

[Hacker gets back up.]

Hacker: This is why I don't like the outside world.

[Hacker swats at the air with both hands and runs after Tails. Back at Robotnik's courtyard, Scratch has his head rested on a pillar and is holding a hammer in his left hand. He is using the hammer to straighten his beak. Meanwhile, Robotnik, who is wearing his yellow cape, is watching Grounder, who is writing on the chalkboard, holding sticks of chalk in both hands.]

Grounder: I estimate a 98.9% probability that Sonic's friends will attempt a rescue.
Robotnik: Grounder, I'm proud to have built you. In fact, I'm promoting you to vice-tyrant.
Scratch: Wha? Who? What?

[Upon hearing this, Scratch, who now has his beak straightened again, tosses the hammer into the air. He looks up at it, then tries to run away, but the hammer lands on his back hard, putting him in great pain.]

Scratch: Ow! Oh-hoh! Ow-how-how-how-how-how-how-hoo!
Grounder: Terribly generous of you, doctor, but quite inadequate. The title I had in mind was "Partner".
Robotnik: "Partner"?! My "Partner"?! Why, you ungrateful bucket of bolts! I built you!

[Robotnik jumps behind Grounder.]

Robotnik: Grrr! And I can shut you off, too!

[Robotnik presses Grounder's OFF button (which is actually the ON button thanks to an animation error) and gets electrocuted.]

Robotnik: Yeow!
Grounder: Naughty, naughty! I anticipated you'd attempt that!

[Robotnik is no longer electrocuted and lands behind Grounder.]

Robotnik: Oh!
Grounder: You see, I posess the genius chip.
Robotnik: You?

[Grounder crossed his arms proudly and nodded in reply.]

Grounder: So I disconnected my "Off" switch.

[Grounder snaps his right thumb and index finger.]

Grounder: Scratch, seize the bad doctor!

[Scratch walks up to Robotnik.]

Scratch: Oh, gee, Grounder, I don't know if I should.

[As Grounder talks to him, Scratch scratches his head with his left index finger.]

Grounder: He made you my lackey, didn't he? You're supposed to do what I say!
Scratch: Yeah, I-I guess you're right.

[Scratch picks Robotnik up by his cape with his left hand.]

Robotnik: How dare you!
Grounder: Now, demonstrate some fancy dribbling!

[Grounder waves his right arm up and down in a dribbling fashion to demonstrate.]

Scratch: Yes sir, Mr. Grounder!

[Scratch runs away, with Robotnik in tow. In the next scene, Scratch is dressed like a basketball player, and Robotnik is shaped into a basketball as Scratch dribbles him across the courtyard.]

Robotnik: Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa, whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!

[Scratch's dribbling creates a huge cloud of dust. When the dust clears, Scratch is now dressed as a football player, with a brown boot on his left foot, and Robotnik is now shaped into a football. Scratch holds him in his left hand, then kicks him with his left foot, causing him to fly into the air.]

Robotnik: No!

[Robotnik bounces off the wall of the courtyard.]

Robotnik: Oooh! [screams]

[Scratch, who is now holding a tennis racket in his right hand, hits Robotnik with it.]

Robotnik: Oh!
Scratch: Whoo! Nasty slice!

[Grounder is now leaning against a pillar with a bust on it.]

Grounder: And in view of my intellectual accomplishments, it really should be "Dr. Grounder", don't you agree?

[Scratch walks up to Grounder and bows to him]

Scratch: Oh-ho! Uh, whatever you say, doctor!

[Meanwhile, Robotnik, who is back to his normal shape, is being dribbled by a machine with a mechanical arm.]

Robotnik: Okay, okay, okay! I-I've changed my mind!

[The machine stops dribbling Robotnik and holds him up by his cape.]

Robotnik: You can be my partner!
Grounder: Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

[Grounder removes his monocole and puts it back over his right eye.]

Grounder: Robotnik, that's too little, too late. It occurs to me that I don't need a partner. I can rule Mobius by myself.
Robotnik: But Grounder, I... you were always my favorite creation!

[Grounder rolls up to Robotnik.]

Grounder: Really?

[Robotnik nods his head.]

Grounder: No doubt, that's why you referred to me as "Scrap Metal", "Break-away Bumpkin", and, oh, yes, "THE WORLD'S LARGEST PAPERWEIGHT"!

[Grounder rolls up to Scratch.]

Grounder: Throw him in the dungeon, and if he attempts anything, petrify him!

[Grounder reaches into his robe with his right hand and pulls out his petrifying ray, which he hands to Scratch, who picks it up with his right hand and giggles and jogs in place excitedly.]

Grounder: And place the Sonic statue in with him, to keep him company.

[Grounder rolls away.]

Scratch: Uh, yes sir, Dr. Grounder.

[Scratch hits himself on the head with the petrifying ray.]

Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

['Scratch dazedly walks backwards to the petrified Sonic. He shakes his head, then stretches his belt with his left hand and puts the petrifying ray in it with his right. He then reaches into his pocket with his left hand and pulls out a remote control. He points to the remote control with his right index finger and presses a button on it with his left thumb. A trap door opens behind Robotnik and a mechanical boot rises from it. Robotnik looks back at it.]

Robotnik: Whoa!

[The mechanical boot kicks Robotnik off the machine, causing him to fly into the air.]

Robotnik: Ha!

[Meanwhile, Scratch is pulling the petrified Sonic away by his arms with both hands. Robotnik lands with a crash near the doorway of his courtyard.]

Robotnik: Oof!

[The next scene takes place in a stairway. Scratch opens the door, and leads Robotnik, who now has his hands tied behind his back, through it. Scratch is now holding the petrifying ray in his right hand.]

Robotnik: Scratch, you dolt! Don't you realize you were always my favorite?

[Scratch sets the petrifying ray down on the pillar to his right side.]

Scratch: Whoo-hoo! Really? I knew it! Too bad you ain't boss anymore!

[Scratch picks Robotnik up by his cape with his left hand.]

Robotnik: Free me, and I'll grant you anything you desire; the finest lubricants, important spare parts!
Scratch: Sorry, doctor, but if I want to keep my beak in one piece, orders are orders!

['Scratch tosses Robotnik aside, causing him to fly into the air.]

Robotnik: Yeow!

[Robotnik lands with a crash.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[Scratch walks back through the doorway. He returns, carrying the petrified Sonic in his arms, grunting heavily as he does. He sets him down at the top of the stairway.]

Scratch: Whoo-hoo!
Grounder [heard over the intercom]: Attention, Scratch. Report to the repair bay and scrub out the pits.
Scratch: Who does he think I am? Cinderrobot?

[Scratch walks back through the doorway and closes the door. Robotnik walks back up to the petrified Sonic and blows a raspberry at him.]

Robotnik: My only consolation in this whole catastrophe, is that at least I'm better off than you, Sonic!

[Robotnik blows another raspberry at Sonic.]

Tails [heard offscreen]: That's not so!
Robotnik: Ah!

[Robotnik looks up at the window, and sees Tails and Hacker in it. Hacker is holding his laptop in his right hand.]

Tails: Cause Sonic's got friends! Do your stuff, Hacker!

[Hacker types on his laptop with his left index finger. The back door opens, and a pair of wires shoot out from it and latch onto Grounder's petrifying ray.]

Hacker: Maybe if I reverse the order of the instructions in the ray gun's software...

[The petrifying ray shoots red beams.]

Tails [heard offscreen]: Hacker! It's working!

[As it continues shooting beams, the petrifying ray turns itself towards the petrified Sonic while Robotnik kept dodging the lasers.]

Robotnik: Dah!

[As the petrifying ray continues shooting beams towards Sonic, Robotnik falls off the stairway and lands with a crash.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[The petrifying ray zaps the petrified Sonic's head, breaking the stone coating around it and setting it free. Sonic shakes his head, then looks up at Tails and Hacker.]

Sonic: Hacker? What are you doing here?

[Hacker lifts his glasses above his head.]

Hacker: Believe me, it wasn't my idea!

[Hacker's laptop overloads Grounder's petrifying ray and destroys it.]

Hacker [heard offscreen]: Looks like there's a few bugs in my program.
Sonic: Ah, who needs it?

[Sonic shakes around and jumps up and down, eventually breaking the stone coating around his body, and setting it free.]

Sonic: Meet me around front, and we'll go nab that genius chip!

[Sonic spins through the door, breaking it to pieces. Meanwhile, Robotnik runs back up the stairway.]

Robotnik: The naive nitwit! He provided my escape route!

[Sonic runs back up to the doorway and puts the door back together Robotnik stares in shock when he sees Sonic holding the door.]

Robotnik: [yelps]

[Sonic slams the door on Robotnik, flattening him.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[Robotnik pulls his face off the doorway.]

Robotnik: Oh!

[Robotnik's face unflattens. Sonic tiptoes through the hallway. He looks in the library and sees Grounder sitting in a chair, reading a book, and laughing. He turns a page with his left hand.]

Grounder: Ah, "Problems In Moral Philosophy". Always provides a few chuckles.

[Grounder chuckles as Sonic sneaks back to Tails and Hacker, who are waiting at the doorway to Robotnik's courtyard.]

Hacker: How are we gonna get that genius chip out of his head?
Sonic: Let me tell you my plan.
Grounder [heard offscreen]: I'm sorry,
Sonic and Tails: Huh?

[Sonic, Tails and Hacker turn their attention to the doorway.]

Grounder [heard offscreen]: But that would be an exercise in futility.

[Grounder is shown standing next to a lightning rod.]

Grounder: You see, being a thousand times smarter enabled me to predict your little escape down to the last detail. Therefore, I concocted my latest invention; the lightning rod.
Hacker: Didn't someone already invent that?
Grounder: Yes, but this rod doesn't protect against lightning. [chuckles] It causes it! [chuckles]

[The lightning rod creates lightning and zaps the arch above Sonic, Tails, and Hacker. Sonic grabs Tails and Hacker and runs away just in time to avoid getting hit by the rubble. Meanwhile, Robotnik grumbles unintelligibly as he shakes his head. He tries to walk back towards the stairway, but his cape is caught in the door latch.]

Robotnik: Egad! My cape got caught in the door latch!

[The door opens and Robotnik falls through the doorway, landing on his face.]

Robotnik: Oh! I'm in luck!

[Back at the courtyard, Grounder is demonstrating his lightning rod to Sonic, Tails, and Hacker. Sonic continues running, with Tails and Hacker in tow as Grounder talks to them]

Grounder: I must warn you that, lightning tends to strike the tallest object in view.

[The lightning zaps the gates to the courtyard, destroying them. Sonic runs towards the gates, then turns around. He hides behind a pillar.]

Sonic: Keep low. I got an idea.

[Tails and Hacker nod their heads in unison, and Sonic runs away.]

Grounder [heard offscreen]: And in 6.2 seconds, the tallest objects around here, will be you!

[The lightning zaps the pillar, knocking it sideways. Tails and Hacker look up from behind the pillar's remains, then run away just before the lightning can zap them. It zaps the pillar's remains instead. Meanwhile, Scratch, who is wearing an apron again, is in the basement, mopping the floors, when a piece of the floor above him falls on his head.]

Scratch: [yelps] Oh-ho! It's an attack! Why isn't Grounder calling me? Oh, I guess he thinks I'm too dumb to be of any help!

[Scratch grumbles]

Scratch: Oh, he does, does he?

[Scratch removes the apron with his right hand and tosses it aside with the same hand while he tosses the mop aside with his left. He then walks away.]

Scratch: I'll show him!

[Meanwhile, Grounder's lightning rod continues zapping everything. Tails and Hacker run past a boulder.]

Grounder: 3.1 seconds to go!

[The lightning zaps the boulder. Sonic, disguised as an award presenter, is holding an envelope in his left hand as he runs up to Grounder.]

Sonic: And now, the award for the world's largest genius.

[Sonic opens the envelope with both hands and pulls out a piece of paper with his left hand. Grounder turns to Sonic as he reads the paper.]

Sonic: The coveted "No Bull" prize goes to... Grounder the Genius!

[Sonic reaches offscreen and pulls out a trophy of a bull, which he hands to Grounder. The horns are designed to attract lightning, and the legs are TNT sticks.]

Grounder: Hmmm. Horns obviously designed to attract lightning, and the legs are clearly sticks of dynamite!

[Grounder tosses the trophy aside, and Sonic removes his disguise.]

Sonic: Man! There went my best bit!
Grounder: Nice try, old chap. Hmmm hmmm, but you can't outthink me! I've thought of every possible occurence!

[Scratch is now running towards Grounder. Unknown to him, he is in the path of the trophy.]

Scratch: I'm coming, Dr. Grounder!

[Scratch trips on the trophy.]

Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

[Scratch falls on Grounder, causing Grounder's head to fly into the air.]

Scratch: Ooof!
Grounder: Except that one. Who'd have imagined Scratch would actually show up to help?

[Grounder sighs.]

Grounder: I suppose no one's completely imperfect.

[Grounder's head lands on the ground and rolls near Robotnik, who is now wearing his helmet again. He picks up Grounder's head with both hands and digs through it with his right hand.]

Robotnik: You're forgetting me, and now the genius chip will be mine!

['Hacker and Tails are behind a fallen pillar.]

Hacker: Sonic! The stupid chip!

['Robotnik pulls the genius chip out of Grounder's head, and tosses Grounder's head aside with his left hand.]

Robotnik: I, Robotnik, shall be the smartest person in...

[Before Robotnik can finish, Sonic speeds by, swapping the genius chip out for the stupid chip. Robotnik puts the stupid chip in the helmet's compartment, and babbles unintelligibly]

Robotnik: What was I saying, anyway?

[Back at the lightning rod, Scratch is holding Grounder's head in both his hands as he puts it back on Grounder's body.]

Grounder: What do you mean, I'm not smart anymore?
Scratch: D'oh, if you have to ask what I mean, you're not smart! Dr. Robotnik is the genius now, right, Doctor?

[Robotnik is now carrying the trophy in both his hands.]

Robotnik [in a dumbfounded voice]: Oh-ho, Mr. Grounder, I think you dropped your prize!

[Scratch and Grounder look worriedly at Robotnik as Grounder jumps into Scratch's arms. Sonic, now holding the genius chip in his right hand, runs up to Hacker and Tails.]

Sonic: Come on, come on! Let's burn!

[Sonic grabs Hacker's right hand with his left, and runs away, with him in tow. Tails flies after him. As Robotnik walks up to Scratch and Grounder, the two robots look up at the lightning rod, knowing it is about to zap the trophy Robotnik is going to hand them.]

Scratch: No-ho-ho!
Grounder: No!
Robotnik [in a dumbfounded voice]: Aw, pretty light.

[The lightning zaps the trophy, causing it to explode. Sonic runs up a hill, where he, Tails, and Hacker watch the explosion from.]

Sonic: So, what do you think we should do with the genius chip?

[Hacker picks up a pair of rocks in front of him with both his hands. Sonic places the genius chip on the rock Hacker is holding in his right hand, and Hacker smashes the genius chip with the rock in his left.]

Sonic: You were right, Tails. He is a smart guy.

[Hacker tosses the rocks aside.]

Tails: Speaking of smart guys, I wonder where Robotnik and his friends are.

[Robotnik, who is no longer wearing his helmet, Scratch, and Grounder, who is in pieces, are all flying upwards into the air.]

Robotnik: Oh, who needs these wretched chips? I'm already a genius, especially compared to you two!
Grounder: Aw, gee, Scratch, isn't it great to have things back to normal?
Scratch: Yeah! Normal is right!
Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[Robotnik and Scratch scream. The screen irises out as they land with a crash, ending the episode.]

Sonic Says

[Sonic walks into the library Grounder was in at the beginning of the third act. He is holding a replica of the genius chip in his right hand]

Sonic: Too bad we all can't plug in some genius chip when we need some smarts!

[As Sonic talks to the viewers, he puts the books in front of him back on the shelf behind him.]

Sonic: Takes a lot of hard work to get an education. Gotta stay in school,

[Sonic stops.]

Sonic: Do your homework, use the library! Reading and learning are like exercise for your head. If you don't put in the time, you end up with a feeble mind! It's not how big your brain is, it's what you do with it that counts. Take it from me; use it, or lose it!