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FiendBot (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "FiendBot".

[Scene: Tails' House, Day]

[Tails, Amy, and Knuckles are sitting around a table playing cards, but then Sonic barges in, excited.]
Sonic: Look what I found at the flea market! [Holds up a game cartridge that has several flying hippos painted on it, and a number two.]
Knuckles: Dude! Is that "Tomatopotamus Two"?
Tails: That's the best one in the entire series! "Tomatopotamus" never worked in 3-D.
Knuckles: Game companies always ruin their beloved franchises.
Sonic: And they never should've changed the color of Tomatopotamus's legs.
Amy: We used to play that all the time. Why did we ever stop?
Tails: The game was built with a microchip made from Sparcium, a rare alloy that proved more valuable than the cartridge itself. All existing copies were recalled and melted down years ago.
Sonic: Well, they didn't get every copy.
[Sonic hurries over to a gaming console and plugs the game in. Immediately, he is playing the game along with Tails, Amy, and Knuckles. The four characters in the game are each a hippopotamus with wings that corresponds to the color of its player, and they launch tomatoes from their mouths.]
Tails: Eat ketchup, Sonic!
Sonic: Need I remind you that I'm the undefeated "Tomatopotamus" champ?
Knuckles: Maybe you should put your tomato where your mouth is.
Sonic: Tell you what, if any of you noobs can take me down, chili dogs are on me!

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

Dr. Eggman: My latest creation will surely destroy Sonic!
Orbot: [sarcastically] I've never heard you make that claim before.
Dr. Eggman: This time it's different. I'm going to program FiendBot with everything that's known about Sonic; he'll be able to anticipate that spiky blue hamster's every move! So what do you got? Come on, let's hear some pictures.
Cubot: Sonic's fast, and he's blue!
Orbot: He's brash and cocky.
Dr. Eggman: He's got rugged good looks! I mean, he's got red shoes.

[Scene Change: Tails' House, day.]

Tails: Come on, come on, come ON!
[Tails' yellow tomatopotamus eats a mine, and a death sound plays; the tomatopotamus turns white and drifts up past the top of the screen, defeated, and Tails groans.]
Amy: Bet you all thought I'd be the first one out, but the stereotype that girls are bad at video games is not only offensive, but clearly, I-- [Amy's tomatopotamus is defeated, and she is out] Never mind.
Sonic: You sweating yet, Knux?
Knuckles: I never sweat; I have a glandular problem.
[The game goes on for some time between Sonic and Knuckles.]
Tails: We've reached hour 14 of the Great Tomatopotamus Challenge.
Amy: Looks like we're about to cross over to level 27; no one's ever made it this far before!
[The number 27 appears on the screen, and Sonic and Knuckles enter an underwater version of the previous stage.]
Tails: Ooh, it's an underwater level!
Sonic: [Begins freaking out] No!
[Sure enough, Sonic's tomatopotamus is hit from behind by a mine, and he is defeated]
Sonic: Stupid water!
Knuckles: [Begins dancing and making victorious noises, showing off his defeat of Sonic, and clearly annoying him] I did it! Read and weep, Sonic Number Two! Oh, and what's this? A name above Sonic? It's Knuckles at Number One, forever etched on the Tomatopotamus scoreboard!
Sonic: [Not amused] Yeah, yeah, you're the king-potamus. So, what do you want on your chili dog?
Knuckles: Do they have Sonic tears? Because those taste the sweetest!

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Eggman's giant robot, FiendBot, is standing motionlessly, while Eggman types on his computer.]
Dr. Eggman: Now to input the video dah-ta. Or is it day-ta? Day-ta, dah-ta... Oh great, now nee-ther of them sounds right! Or is it nye-ther? Ah, well.
[Eggman activates the data transfer, and the data travels through the cable into FiendBot. On FiendBot's visual monitor, he is shown clips of Sonic saving Mrs. Vandersnout and a monkey from a flock of charging sheep, tying a large ball of twine between two trees to stop a rockslide, narrowly dodging two robotic arms, twisting Burnbot up in its own arms, battling Obliterator Bot and destroying its head, and getting pummeled by Shadow the Hedgehog. Afterwards, FiendBot looks down at Eggman.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh, good, you're awake, lazybones. Ready for a test drive?

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Dave: One dozen chili dogs made from the finest ingredients. [He gives Sonic four bags.] And by "finest", I mean "not yet expired"... [Glances at his watch] Forget that last part.
[Sonic takes the bags, but turns around.]
Dr. Eggman: [offscreen] Oh, Sonic! I've got some swift, impending doom for you!
[Sonic runs through the village, but then FiendBot drops from the sky and blocks his path. Sonic screeches to a halt.]
Dr. Eggman: Allow me to introduce FiendBot! He already knows you.
Sonic: Oh, really? Well, tell "FiendBot" I look forward to seeing him in a landfill real--
[A laser is blasted towards Sonic, knocking him off his feet and dropping the bags.]
FiendBot: Before each battle, Sonic engages in witty banter for an average of three-point-five seconds, allowing time for targeted attack.
Sonic: You really do know me, but have you met my spin attack?
[Sonic launches himself at FiendBot in spin attack mode, but FiendBot deflects Sonic's spin attack away. Sonic hits a brick tower and lands on the ground.]
FiendBot: Seventy-two percent of Sonic's Spin Attacks veer right eight degrees.
[FiendBot crouches down and launches missiles from his back. Sonic quickly runs away, but he sideswipes a palm tree, and Perci is right in its path. Reacting quickly, Sonic rushes back and pushes her out of the way, just in time.]
Perci: You saved my life! Thank you, Sonic, thank you!
[FiendBot has seen what just happened, and it's recorded on his visual monitor.]
Lady Walrus: [offscreen] My baby!
[Chumley is crawling along a horizontal pole very high above the ground, but he falls off.]
Lady Walrus: Oh, my--
[Sonic rushes up and catches him safely, and gives him back to his mother. FiendBot has seen this, too.]
Dr. Eggman: What are you waiting for? Finish him off!
FiendBot: New data analysis complete: Sonic not enemy, Sonic... friend?
Dr. Eggman: Good one, FiendBot. Looks like I accidentally programmed you with my trademark sardonic wit. Joy at parties, but not ideal for battle.
[FiendBot aims his missile launcher on his back at Eggman, and Eggman screams. FiendBot fires, but Eggman dodges.]
Dr. Eggman: FiendBot, this isn't funny! I can't believe you're turning against me, especially after I went to the trouble of programming you with my trademark sardonic wit!
[Eggman dodges another missile, and he flees as FiendBot continues firing at him.]
Sonic: [Recovers the food bags] So, uh, thanks for saving me from... you, I guess. See you around.
[Sonic begins to walk away, but FiendBot follows him. Sonic stops and looks behind him, and FiendBot looks down at him as well. His pupils start small, but they grow in size. Again, Sonic begins to walk away, but FiendBot follows him again, so he stops again and turns around.]
Sonic: Look, you can't follow me. My friends don't like it when I bring home giant, destructive robots.
[Sonic runs away, but FiendBot still watches him.]

[Scene Change: Tails' House, day.]

[Amy, Tails, and Knuckles are waiting, and then Sonic comes inside.]
Sonic: All right, I got your chili dogs. You can quit gloating now. [Gives one bag to Knuckles, and throws Tails and Amy theirs.]
Knuckles: [Takes a bite of his chili dog.] Mmm, tastes like victory... and, old socks.
[A loud rumbling sound is heard outside.]
Tails: What was that?
Sonic: Not a giant killer robot that followed me here, that's for sure.
[They all go outside, and there is FiendBot.]
Amy: An Eggman robot! Let's turn it into scrap metal, then recycle it responsibly!
Sonic: There's no need; FiendBot won't attack us.
Tails: Sonic, not to doubt your judgment, but he was clearly created by Eggman. [Sonic does nothing] He's covered in missile launchers? [Sonic still does nothing] His name's "FiendBot", for crying out loud!
Sonic: I see what you're getting at; "FiendBot" does have a harsh ring to it. What if we change it to something completely different? I know: "FriendBot".
Knuckles: Dude, Tails couldn't have been any clearer and you still miss the point! [Sonic, Tails, and Amy just stare at him.] Whoa, is this how you guys feel every time I open my mouth?
[Sonic, Amy, and Tails nod quietly.]
Knuckles: What are you doing with your heads?
Sonic: FriendBot could've destroyed me, but he didn't.
Knuckles: Big deal, I could destroy you all the time.
"FriendBot": De-stroy? Potential threat to Sonic detected.
[FriendBot points his fists at Knuckles, preparing to blast him, but Sonic steps in.]
Sonic: Whoa, whoa, no need to blast Knuckles out of existence. We're all friends here.
[Sonic chuckles, and FriendBot lowers his blasters.]
Sonic: Seriously, though, give him a chance.
[Amy, Tails, and Knuckles look at each other, unsure.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

Dr. Eggman: My error was making FiendBot sentient. Well, I'm not gonna make that mistake again. [He steps away from something, covered in soot.] That's why I created this!
[The camera cuts to a large weapon with a laser blaster.]
Cubot: Hey, good-lookin', welcome to the team.
Dr. Eggman: This energy blaster is programmed with all the same Sonic intel as FiendBot, but with none of the robot brain power.
Cubot: I understand. [Whispers to the blaster weapon.] We'll talk later, hot stuff. [Makes a catlike sound of affection.]

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day.]

[Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, and Tails are playing volleyball with FriendBot. Amy punts the ball up, and FriendBot spikes it. However, because he is much bigger than everyone else, the impact of the ball hitting the sand pushes it into the ground, and it covers Amy, Tails, and Knuckles in sand.]

[Scene Change: Tails' House, day.]

[Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles are inside, playing a video game, presumably Tomatopotamus Two, while FriendBot watches through the window from outside. Sonic hands FriendBot his controller, but as it's too small for FriendBot, he falls backwards and drags the entire console out with him. However, Knuckles reaches out and catches the console.]
Knuckles: My high score!

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, night.]

[Tails is playing a DJ while Sonic, Amy, Knuckles, and FriendBot are dancing around a campfire. FriendBot begins spinning, but again, because he is much bigger, he makes a mistake. He narrowly avoids hitting Sonic and Amy, and they dodge him, slamming into Tails' DJ table.]

[Scene Change: Hedgehog Village, day.]

[Sonic, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and of course, FriendBot, are walking along.]
Knuckles: Does he have to come with us to Meh Burger? He doesn't even eat food.
Sonic: Come on, Knuckles, that's not fair; you know Meh Burger's not food.
[There's a loud thumping sound, and Eggman arrives with his Crab Bots, Obliterator Bot, and the Mega.]
Dr. Eggman: Did you miss me?
Sonic: How can we miss you? You never go away.
[Sonic, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles spring into action, and then FriendBot follows them. Amy hits a Crab Bot with her hammer, Sonic smashes more Crab Bots using his spin attack, Tails attacks a Crab Bot with a wrench, Knuckles attacks Obliterator Bot directly, and FriendBot faces the Mega. The Mega tries to punch FriendBot, but FriendBot blocks it with his arm, and he counterattacks with punches. He deals a blow from above, causing the Mega to fall backwards.]
Sonic, Amy, and Tails: Whoa!
Knuckles: Hey! I'm fighting a big robot, too, you know!
[The Mega gets up again, but FriendBot blasts it using the rocket launchers on his back, blowing its head off. Next, he approaches Obliterator Bot and begins attacking it as well. Knuckles falls off, very angry that FriendBot is doing a better job than him.]
Knuckles: Quit it, FiendBot! I'm supposed to be the strong guy on this team!
[FriendBot yanks Obliterator Bot's chainsaw arm right off and uses it to destroy its claw arm as well. Then, FriendBot slashes at Obliterator Bot using its own chainsaw, knocking it down.]
Dr. Eggman: Time to bring out the big guns... Well, gun.
[Sonic sees the energy blaster drive up to their location, and it begins firing energy blasts at him. The energy blaster lures Sonic up against a wall, and it launches a blast at him, but FriendBot selflessly jumps in front of Sonic and he is hit instead.]
FriendBot: Friend... [He powers down.]
Amy: He saved Sonic!
Knuckles: Sonic was right. FriendBot did deserve that name change after all!
[Amy, Tails, and Knuckles charge towards the energy blaster. Knuckles pounds the ground, launching it into the air, and Amy smacks at it with her hammer. It hits a tree and smashes to smithereens, and Sonic attacks the Eggmobile using his spin attack, sending him flying away.]

[Scene Change: Tails' House, day.]

[Outside, Tails is tending to FriendBot while wearing a doctor's apron and facemask. Inside, Sonic is pacing worriedly while Amy and Knuckles sit down, worried about FriendBot. Just then, Tails comes inside.]
Sonic: Give it to me straight, Tails; how bad is it?
Tails: FriendBot's AI processor was destroyed in the blast. I'd replace it, but Eggman made it out of Sparcium. I know where we can get some, but you're not gonna like it...
[The camera zooms in on the Tomatopotamus Two cartridge, and a dramatic music cue plays.]
Knuckles: You mean my high score will be erased? [Sonic and Amy look at Knuckles, and Knuckles realizes it's the right thing to do.] Oh, dilemma, thy name is Tomatopotamus...
[The next morning, the Tomatopotamus Two cartridge is broken and the Sparcium removed.]
Tails: Okay, here goes nothing!
[Tails pushes a button on his laptop, and the data runs into FriendBot. He starts back up and sits upright.]
FriendBot: System reboot complete; friends acknowledged.
[Sonic, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles cheer.]
Tails: And I made one extra adjustment.
[Tails pushes another button, and FriendBot launches confetti from himself. Sonic smiles at first, but then he begins to ponder. Amy notices this.]
Amy: What's wrong, Sonic?
Sonic: I was just thinking; FriendBot's too big to fit in any of our houses. Where are we supposed to keep him?

[Scene Change: The Forest, day.]

[Sonic and FriendBot are walking together.]
Sonic: Things'll be better this way. You'll live out here, where there's plenty of space, and we'll come visit you all the time. And if we need you, we'll just call you on your new team communicator.
[FriendBot is shown to be wearing a communicator similar to Sonic's on his right arm.]
FriendBot: Sonic's voice ninety-three percent more reassuring than usual. Trust mode activated.

[Scene Change: The Canyon, day.]

[Sonic, Amy, Tails, Knuckles, and FriendBot arrive at the location where the Cubot prototypes are located. The Cubot prototypes are levitating around aimlessly, bumping into one another.]
Tails: These are former Eggman robots, just like you. You should have lots in common.
Amy: They're not the brightest. They could use someone strong like you to take care of them.
FriendBot: Responsibility acknowledged, farewell sequence initiated.
[Sonic, Tails, Amy, and Knuckles all hug FriendBot, having finally accepted him as a friend and member of their team.]
Knuckles: FriendBot, promise me you'll never forget that I'm the Tomatopotamus champion, not Sonic.
FriendBot: Memory stored.
Knuckles: [He looks tearfully at Sonic.] In your face... [The screen fades out, and the episode ends.]
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