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Sonic the Hedgehog (TV series)
Fed Up With Antoine/Ghost Busted (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Fed Up With Antoine/Ghost Busted".

Fed Up with Antoine

[Scene: Robotropolis, night.]

[Antoine is sneaking around and panicking. A stray piece of paper flies into his face, and he fumbles around until he finally gets it off and continues on his journey. He finds a statue gargoyle head, and tries to pull it out, but he cannot get it to budge. He picks up a rock, and raises it over his head.]
Antoine: Come on, you stupid gargoling head!
[Antoine begins hammering the rock on the statue, until it breaks in two. He picks up one half of the rock and tosses it behind him.]
Antoine: Stupid rock!
[Antoine hears a clunk.]
Swat-Bot: Intruder! Freeze!
[The Swat-Bot readies its laser.]
Antoine: I am frozen! I am frozen!
Swat-Bot: Walk ahead, prisoner!
Antoine: Wha...? Oh-no-no-no-no-no-no-no-no... no! You must be making the large mistake, monsieur! I am doctor Robotni- I, uh- I mean, doctor Robotnik is my closest friend, yeeeees! We are like... uuuh... two peas in a pod, heh heh...
Sonic: [Off screen] Come on, Ant!
[Sonic speeds in and rescues Antoine.]
Swat-Bot: Hedgehog alert!
[The Swat-Bot begins firing his laser, as Antoine screams. The two race to another part of the city.]
Sonic: What’s with you, Ant!? You nearly blew our blind drop location!
Antoine: What “Blew”? I ‘ave blown nothing.
Sonic: [Rolls his eyes] Ooohhhh... Where’s Uncle Chuck’s message?
Antoine: Thee uh me- thee uh message? Uhhm, wh-well I, um...
Sonic: Aauuugh! You blew that, too!? Ah man!
Antoine: I didn’t not blew you’re stupid message, and I am not needing your stupid ‘elp. I am having everything under control. Hmm.
Sonic: [In his face] Oh yeah? Well if you’re so cool, then it should be no prob getting back to Knothole alone!
[Sonic speeds off as Antoine lets out a gasp.]
Antoine: Sonic-wait! It’s just my little joke, Sonic! I am not having everything under control-
[Suddenly, Sonic’s hand reaches out and taps Antoine on the shoulder, sending him into the air, and Sonic catches him as he screams, but Antoine couldn’t be happier.]
Antoine: ‘ello! Bonsoir!
[Antoine starts kissing Sonic on the cheeks.]
Sonic: Yo, Ant! Chill out!
Antoine: My favorite ‘edgehog!

[Scene Change: Knothole, day.]

[Tails is beating up a Robotnik dummy.]
Tails: Hee-ya!
[Tails sends the dummy flying, and Bunnie, who's watching the whole thing, is applauding.]
Bunnie: Alright Tails! Just keep that left arm out there a little more.
Tails: Ok, Aunt Bunnie!
Antoine: [Off screen] Pardonnez moi, mademoiselle.
Bunnie: Hi Antoine!
[Antoine trips, as she catches him.]
Antoine: Aheheh... may you have a word with me?
Bunnie: [Sets him down] Sure thing, sugar!
Antoine: Good. I am wonder if you can teach moi about, how do you say, uh... marshmallowarts?
Bunnie: ...You want to learn “Martial arts”?
Antoine: Wee! Yes, of course! I am thinking, one lesson is all I am needing!
[Antoine tries leaning on a nearby tree, misses, and falls.]
Bunnie: Right, sugar. One lesson should defiantly do it.
Antoine: [Off screen] Hee-yas!
Bunnie: [Irritated] Now concentrate, Antoine! One more time.
[Antoine is right beside the Robotnik dummy, exhausted.]
Antoine: [Loses breath] I am doing good, no?
Bunnie: You’re doing good, no!
[Antoine tries again, lets out an insane battle cry, and sends the Robotnik dummy soaring through the air, over Bunnie’s head, and into Sonic’s hut.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Aahhh!
Bunnie: Antoine, I’ve had it!
[Sonic kicks his door open, holding the dummy.]
Sonic: Yo! Where’s the dummy who belongs to this!?
Antoine: ["Waves] Yoo-hoo! Here I am! I am a natural king-fu artist!
Sonic: Well king, go fu someplace else, or I’m gonna crown ya!
[Sonic hurls the dummy at Antoine, causing it to burst, covering Antoine in sand.]
Sonic: King-fu... Hmph!
[Sonic goes back in, slamming the door.]
Antoine: [Flings the sand off] Ha! That silly hoghedge fuel is just jealous of my incroyable skill!
Bunnie: Antoine, honey. Do us all a favor and take up cooking.
Antoine: Cook this, you jealous fuels! I am showing all of Knothole that Antoine Depardieu is a legend in his own mind! Wha-hoo!
[Antoine does a jump kick, only to collide with a tree branch, launching him in Sonic’s hut.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Ant! You’re really starting to tick me off!
[Antoine is launched outside of Sonic’s front door.]
Antoine: Sonic!

[Scene Change: Great Forest, day.]

[Antoine is walking around the woods, as he begins to pretend to be fighting, grunting as he does so.]
Antoine: Ha! That is what I say in the face of that stupid hedgehog!
[Suddenly, motors are heard in the distance, and the Nasty Hyenas come racing by. They stop at Antoine.]
Biker: Well, stone the cows! It’s a wiener.
[The Nasty Hyenas begin circling Antoine.]
Antoine: Wh-wh-who are you?
Biker: Your worst nightmare, bucko!
Biker: Aye! Worse than that, mate... eheheh...
Antoine: I-I-I-I-I-I’m prepared to defending myself.
[After a moment of silence, the Nasty Hyenas laugh.]
Antoine: Alright...
[Antoine shows off a few moves.]
Nasty Hyenas: Yeah right....
[They close in on him all at once.]
Nasty Hyenas: Boo!
[This causes Antoine to get so frightened that he shoots up the side of a tree, bang his head on a branch, and he falls back down on one the Nasty Hyenas’ motorcycles. It starts off, sends him racing forward, crashing all of the bikes, launching him into the air, back on his feet. He is dazed, yet keeps up with the martial arts.]
Antoine: I am master of king-fu!
[The Nasty Hyenas looks at each other.]
Biker: Oh... Sorry, King... We didn’t know it was you.
Biker: Yeah! You lost weight! But not too much, that’s good!
[The Nasty Hyenas get on the ground.]
Girl Biker: Your wish is our command, your worship!
Antoine: [Smiles] Your worship? You’re meaning, as in King!?

[Scene Change: Great Forest, night.]

[The Knothole Freedom Fighters have formed a search party as they are out in the dark, calling for Antoine.]
Tails: Sonic, I found something!
[Tails sniffs around.]
Tails: Pe-yew! It smells like Antoine’s perfume!

[Scene Change: Campsite, night.]

[The gang surrounds Antoine as he sits on a stone thrown with a can on his head.]
Biker: We’re only here to serve you, o’ mighty king.
Girl Biker: Your wish is our command!
Antoine: You are meaning to say that whatever I am to ask for, you will do?
Nasty Hyenas: [Suspiciously] Uhhh-huuuuh.
[Antoine begins to clap.]
Antoine: Woo-who! I am liking this too much! Rub my feet!
Biker: Oh yes, your royalness!
[The Biker gets a whiff of Antoine’s bare feet and passes out.]
Antoine: [To another biker] Now, you may bring to me a big pizza with extra anchovies!
Biker: Oh yes, esteemed one!
Antoine: [To another biker] I am too thirsty for some herbal tea!
Biker: Okay-doke, sire!
Antoine: Room temperatures!
[Antoine lays down to relax.]
Antoine: Ahhhh... this is being a little bite of heaven.
[Sonic reaches the campsite.]
Sonic: There he is!
[Sonic races to Antoine.]
Sonic: Yo Ant, what’s up with this?
Antoine: I am being his royal highness.
Sonic: You mean his royal pain.
Antoine: Shut up, pheasant, and bow down to me!
Sonic: Moi!? Mwahah! Bow down to you? Oh, very funny, Ant! Ah-hahahahah!
Antoine: You dare to be insulating- oof!
[Antoine tries to get down, but falls instead, sending his crown to Sonic.]
Sonic: Man, they must have blown the royal budget on the ‘ol crown, huh Ant?
[Antoine snags the can from him.]
Antoine: Guards? Guards! Please do be tossing this pheasants into the dungeons!
[Two Bikers surround Sonic, grabbing one arm each.]
Sonic: Ey! You guys are kidding, right?
[They raise him into the air.]
Biker: Do we look like we’re kidding, sport?
[Sonic begins spinning his legs.]
Sonic: No, you look like you’re ugly!
[Sonic begins circling the throne, spinning it around.]
Sonic: Time to win and spin, Ant!
[Sally and Bunnie come in, riding on Dulcy.]
Sally: Sonic!
[Dulcy crashes at the feet of Antoine’s throne.]
Bunnie: Antoine, what in the heck is going on?
Sonic: [Mocking servant accent] It’s the new King of Whatever, and we’re the pheasants.
Antoine: Ahhh! Wee-wee-wee! You are all nothing but the lowly pheasants!
[Antoine leans too far from his crown and tumbles to Sally’s feet.]
Antoine: Of course, except for you, my Princess... Whom shall be [Kisses her arm] my queen!
[Sally pulls her hand away.]
Sally: Ugh! Thanks, but no thanks, Antoine... And you certainly have no business being a king!
[Bunnie helps him up with her extendable arm.]
Bunnie: Especially king of these goon-balls!
Dulcy: Seriously. What rock have they been hiding under?
Antoine: WELL! If this is the way you are feeling, then I have no choice but to be resigning from the Freedom Fighters.
Bunnie: Resign? Are ‘yall kidding, Antoine?
Antoine: Look at me, Bunnie. King’s do not kidding. I am liking to be king. I was born to be the king! I am the king!
Sally: Antoine...
Antoine: No-no-no-no-no! My brain is made up!
[Antoine kisses Sally’s hand a few more times.]
Sally: [Irritated] Antoine.
Bunnie: You're being a real cotton ball, Antoine!
Sonic: Let’s shake it, Ant’s history. And who cares?
Sally: Oh, come on Sonic. Antoine has his good points.
Sonic: Besides his head?
Sally: Well yes! He uh, he... has good hair!
Sonic: Pff! Yeah right.

[Scene Change: Great Forest, night.]

[The Freedom Fights are seen sleeping at the campfire.]
Sally: [Off screen] Nicole! Give me whatever you have on a gang called, “Nasty Hyenas.”
Nicole: Searching, Sally. Nasty Hyena’s are a splinter group, once part of a cannibal tribe who always eat their king. They average 4.3 kings per month.
Sally: Oh my gosh! Antoine!

[Scene Change: Great Forest, day.]

[Antoine is seen in a pot of boiling water.]
Antoine: Um, you know, heh... I am feeling this must be some kind of little funny, heh heh, heh... hoo hoo ha... yes?
Biker: No, your royalness. We’re serious about our food.
[The Biker preps the water with some salt, as the Girl Biker tastes the water.]
Girl Biker: Hmmm... still a might chili. But the sun will fix the real quick.
Antoine: B-b-b-but you are making a terrible mistake! Oh, no, no, no, no! I’m not too good enough to be a King! I am a humble pheasant- what are you doing, you fuel? Hmm... Is zar pepper!
[Antoine jumps out onto the side of the pot.]
Biker: Yeah, your worship.
[Antoine hops back in the pot.]
Antoine: Are you stork raving naked!? You cannot spice a finest meal like myself with ordinary pepper! You must use paprika!
Girl Biker: All out of paprika, your highness.
Antoine: Then I refuse to be eaten.
[The sun gets hotter, and the water boils more and more.]
Antoine: I am hoping you’re liking it very rare!
Sonic: Hedgehog, commin’ through!
[Sonic plows past two Bikers, as Dulcy, Sally, and Bunnie take the sky.]
Sally: Dive bomb them, Dulcy!
Dulcy: Going down!
[Dulcy crashes into the gang.]
Bunnie: Yes! Strike, Dulcy!
Dulcy: Thanks, ma.
[Sonic reaches Antoine and tries to tip the kettle over, just as Antoine points behind him.]
Antoine: S-ss-s-son-ic!
[Three Bikers are running towards them.]
Sonic: Incoming headache!
[Sonic runs out of the way, as they slam into the kettle, knocking Antoine out. Sonic observes his handy work.[
Sonic: I said headache, guess you chumps didn’t hear me.
[Another member sneaks up behind Sonic, but before he can do anything, Antoine comes flying through the air.]
Antoine: Ha-ya!
[Antoine drop kicks the guy, saving Sonic.]
Sonic: Cool move, Ant!
Antoine: They were going to use pepper, and not paprika!
Dulcy: Sonic! Come on!
[Dulcy and the other two are flying off.]
Sonic: Grab on, Ant! Torque time!

[Scene Change: Antoine’s hut.]

[Sonic, Tails, and the girls are watching Antoine retail his adventure who is acting it out on the bed.]
Antoine: Now, now, now, now! Be watching close by Tails. I used my famous moves to save Sonic from those dangerous criminal type guys, observe.
[Antoine does a successful drop kick, without prat falls or hurting anyone.]
Bunnie: Why Antoine, that was actually quite...
Antoine: Shh- I know! I know, I know! I am realizing that was not so good, one more time!
[Antoine jumps in the air, and falls on Dulcy’s foot. She hops around, crashing the bed and a lamp in the process.]
Sally: [Off screen] Easy Dulcy! Easy!
[Vases break, portraits are destroyed, and Antoine is on the ground, smiling.]
Antoine: Aahh! Much better!
Dulcy: [Off screen] I’ll pick up my room later, ma...
Sonic: [Off screen] We should have let them eat him...

Ghost Busted

[Scene: Great Forest, day.]

[Sonic and Tails are seen hiking there.]
Sonic: So, big guy, part of being a Freedom Fighter is learning to track, which means looking for signs. Like broken tree branches, flatten grass, footprints and stuff like that.
Tails: Sonic! Is this a sign?
[Sonic speeds over to Tails, who’s holding a broken branch.]
Sonic: Precise-o-moondo, big guy! You’re getting the ‘ol hang of it already! Now, what are the other senses you’re supposed to use?
Tails: Um, your nose.
[Tails shuts his eyes and sniffs around.]
Tails: Hmmm... Roses... Gardenias... Petunias... hmmm... Ode de Manly cologne! Antoine!
Antoine: Aaaaaaaaahhhhhh!
[Sonic and Tails race to the noise and find Antoine falling down the side of a trail.]
Antoine: I am falling! Aaahhhhh!!!
Sonic and Tails: Antoine!
[Sonic and Tails chase after him, but he has already hit the bottom of the muddy swamp.]
Antoine: Sacre-blue-cheese! I’d pinch myself, if I am still alive.
[Antoine pinches himself.]
Antoine: Ow! I am alive, but I am in great hurting.
Sonic: What happened, Ant? You were supposed to hide so Tails could track ya!
[Sonic helps him up.]
Antoine: Did you not see the ghost?
Tails: Ghost? Where!?
Antoine: It was up there! I was going to whoop uh ya King-fu him, but the coward sneaked away!
Sonic: Yeah right. Come on, Tails!
Antoine: Hey! Waiting for me!
[Sonic and Tails reach the top and begin tapping their feet impatiently for Antoine at the same time.]
Tails: There’s no such thing as ghosts, huh Sonic?
Sonic: You got it, big guy!
[Antoine peeks his head at the top of the trail.]
Antoine: No such thing as ghosts, huh? Well, Mr. Smarty-Panty, I am knowing what I am seeing, and I am seeing a ghost! I am getting ready to be attacking, but I- uh-uhaaaaahhhh!
[Antoine falls off the side of the trail, again.]
Sonic: Aha! So that's what happened!

[Scene Change: Campfire site, night.]

[Sonic is telling a story to Tails and Antoine.]
Sonic: So then, the Gopher highway man made a mondo mistake! He snagged the gold medallion from a sorcerer and lost his head!
Tails: [Gasps]
Sonic: From then on, the highway man wore the gold medallion and roamed the forest known as, “The Headless gopher!”
[Antoine, who had been sucking his thumb the entire time, jumps up and screams, and Sonic and Tails burst out laughing.]
Sonic: Chill, Ant! It’s just a story!
Tails: Yeah, Antoine!
Antoine: Heh, of course I am knowing this is only a story, heh, I was not born tomorrow! I am just making a funny ha-hoo, heheh- Now, I must sleep the hays.
[Antoine makes way for a fancy makeshift bed.]
Tails: [Off screen] Tell me another story, Sonic! Please!
[Antoine is freaking out.]
Sonic: Sure you’re not scared, big guy?
[Antoine hides under his covers.]
Tails: No way!
Sonic: Ok! There were these mondo evil spirits, see--

[Scene Change: Campfire site, night.]

[It has now become nighttime.]
Sonic: --and he decided to become a duck!
Antoine: [Off screen] Huh! Oohh!
[Sonic and Tails are about to call it a night.]
Tails: Thanks for the scary stories, Sonic. Especially the one about the gopher with the gold medallion and no head!
Sonic: [Yawns] Welcome, big guy. Sleep tight, more trainin’ tomorrow.
[Sonic falls asleep instantly, but Tails is having a harder time. his imagination then starts screwing with him when the moon turns into the Evil Duck's face and eats a nearby bat.]
Tails: [Off screen] The Evil Duck...
[Before Tails knows it, it’s gone, but then, on the top of a distant mountain, The Headless Gopher appears. He snaps up, and sees something walking through the woods.]
Tails: The Headless Gopher!
[The figure walks around the campsite, and Tails can only pretend it is not there for so long.]
Tails: Ahhhhhhh!
[Sonic wakes up in no time.]
Sonic: Augh! Tails!
Tails: Sonic! The Headless Gopher! Over there!
Sonic: Say what!?
[Sonic sees nothing out there.]
Sonic: [Comfortingly] Oh, it’s just a dream, big guy! That’s all.
Tails: But Sonic, I saw him! Honest, it was the Headless Gopher!
Sonic: Yo, Ant! Did you--
[Sonic gasps when he realizes Antoine’s not there.]
Sonic and Tails: Oh no!
[The two begin searching for Antoine, and Tails finds something in the ground.]
Tails: Sonic! I found a sign.
[Tails hands Sonic a broken twig.]
Sonic: Yup! Ant was just here! Good job, big guy!
Tails: So-so-son-son--! There’s a ghost!
[Sonic looks behind him, and sees a glowing figure.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Whoa! Man, I gotta check this out! Beat feet, Tails! Wait for me at the camp!
[The two split up, and Tails flies through the woods. Eventually, his flight gives out and he lands in a bush.]
Tails: A Freedom Fighter stays- stays calm in the face of danger.
[Tails pops his head out of the bush and looks around.]
Tails: S-s-stay calm, Tails...
[Tails winds his tails up again and flies off again.]
Tails: Gho-ghosts aren’t real. Woah! Jelly and jam time!
[Tails flies off and sees the figure again, alone.]
Tails: Oh no... it must have got Sonic...
[Tails flies off in a different direction, and falls near a cave. Going by his nose, he heads inside and sees nothing but bats.]
Tails: He-hello?
[Tails turns and sees dozens of glowing green eyes staring at him from the darkness. He gets out of there, only to come face to face with an owl, and once again he is off running into the cave, as the bats swarm around him.]
Tails: Aaahhhhhhhh!
Sonic: [Off screen] Tails! Where are ya, big guy!?
[Tails rushes out of there, trying to figure out where the voice is coming from.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Tails! Tails!
Tails: Son-huh! What if it’s not Sonic? What if it’s the Headless Gopher playing a trick? Better check it out!
Sonic: [Off screen] Yo, Tails!
[Tails starts sniffing again.]
Tails: Got it!
[Tails flies off.]
Sonic: [Off screen] Tails!
[Tails watches from behind a boulder as the figure walks behind Sonic. Then he turns to him.]
Sonic: He’s gotta be around somewhere!
[The two walk off.]
Tails: He must have brainwashed Sonic and now they’re both together!
[Tails runs off and falls down the side of a small cliff. He looks into the moon, as he saw the Evil Duck. He sees Sonic speeding towards him.]
Sonic: Tails! Hang on, man! I’m commin!
[Tails sees him heading his way, lets out a gasp, and runs away.]
Tails: Go away, Sonic! I know the ghost did something weird to ya! Aahh-!
[Tails smashes into something and falls back on the ground. He realizes that he hit the figure and begins backing up.]
Tails: No, no, nooo! Noooo! Get away! Get away! Get away! Get away!
Abtoine: Why should I be getting away from you? It is you who has bumped into moi! Why do you not watch where I am going!?
Tails: ...Antoine? But why do you look-?
Sonic: Heheh! It’s cool, Tails! Ant just took a sleepwalk into fox fire plants! Check it out!
[Sonic pats his hand on Antoine’s shoulder, and his hand begins to glow a bright gold.]
Sonic: See!? No ghost!
Tails: ...Cool!

[Scene Change: Campfire site, day.]

[They are pulling down their camping equipment, as Tails is taking care of the fire.]
Sonic: And make sure you bury all of it, little man! Don’t leave anything to burn!
Tails: Okay, Sonic! Boy, camping sure is cool!
[Antoine is working with his mountain of luggage.]
Antoine: Ha, I say to that! And yet again, ha! Miserable thing, this stupid camping!
Tails: [Off screen] Will you tell me some more ghost stories tonight? Pleeeaase!? Pleeeaaaaaase!?
Sonic: I don’t know about that, little buddy. Last night was kinda hectic.
Tails: Yeah, but now I know there’s no such thing as ghosts!
Sonic: I know, but still- Oh man.
[Antoine is struggling to carry his luggage and he falls over, as Sonic came to the rescue.]
Antoine: Help me! Merci beaucoup, Sonic!
Sonic: Yeah, merci bucket to you too, Ant.
Tails: [Off screen] Sonic!
[Tails is at his sleeping bag, pointing to something in the dirt.]
Tails: There’s no- no such thing as gh-ghosts, right!?
Sonic: Right!
Tails: Look! The Medallion!
[Sonic hears a faint evil laugh echoing around him.]
Sonic: Yaaaaaaaaaahhhh!
[Sonic grabs the two and races away.]
Sonic and Tails: Out of here!
Headless Gopher: Hahahahaahahah!
Sonic, Tails and Antoine: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
Transcripts

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