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Sonic Boom
Don't Make Me Angry (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Don't Make Me Angry".

[Scene: Seaside Island, canyon, day.]

[Sonic is running away from Eggman, who is following him in his Eggmobile and firing a laser. Sonic easily dodges the blasts by swerving from side to side.]
Sonic: What's wrong, Egghead? I'm going as slow as I can!
[Eggman growls, and then the screen suddenly changes to static.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[Eggman is watching clips of his previous defeats from Team Sonic on his large monitor.]
Dr. Eggman: If I want to destroy Sonic once and for all, I'm gonna need physical abilities of my own.
Cubot: Oh, how you gonna do that, boss? You're no biotechnician.

[Scene Change: Library, day.]

Dr. Eggman: I'm looking for some books on biotechnology.
[Fastidious Beaver gets Eggman's library card.]
Fastidious Beaver: Actually, according to our records, your library card has been revoked. It says here you never returned the copy of "Savage Passions: Guatemañana Heat".
[Belinda, Old Monkey, Mrs. Vandersnout, Wolfie and Willy Walrus silently chuckle at Eggman.]
Dr. Eggman: That's preposterous! I've never heard of that book, and even if I had read it, who would believe that Eloise would leave Juan Pablo for a mysterious billionaire?
Beth the Shrew: Hey, mister! You can use my library card, I betcha!
Dr. Eggman: Oh, thanks, kid! People don't usually do nice things for me.. [Takes Beth's library card] Not sure why. [To Fastidious Beaver] Hah! In your bucktooth face, Beaver!
[Fastidious Beaver doesn't say anything. The next scene shows the front of the Library before cutting to Eggman reading the books.]
Dr. Eggman: There's like a million types of mutations, and these textbooks aren't very helpful on the subject of which ones you should intentionally inflict upon yourself.
[Sonic shows up.]
Sonic: Oh great, another "to be continued". If I had a comic, I'd never end it like that!
[Sonic walks away and throws the comic behind him, which lands on Eggman's pile of books. Eggman closes the book he was reading, grabs the comic, opens it and starts reading while scenes of the comic are shown.]
Narrator: Bruce Bandicoot was just a timid scientist, until a lab accidnet changed everything: struck by absurdly dangerous levels of purple rays, he became: [Bruce roars] The Unenviable Clunk!
[The scene cuts back to Eggman.]
Dr. Eggman: Finally, somebody put it in terms I can understand!

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[The scene cuts to the inside, where Eggman has a beam cannon. Orbot and Cubot are also present.]
Dr Eggman: I'm about to expose myself to dangerous purple rays, so stand back! I don't wanna share my awesome new powers with you losers!
[Orbot and Cubot back off a few steps. Eggman turns the cannon on and opens his arms. The cannon shoots him with purple rays, causing him to start laughing maniacally. The cannon stops shooting, but nothing happens to Eggman.]
Dr. Eggman: I don't feel any different. Lousy piece of junk and whack!
[Eggman kicks the cannon angrily, causing him to growl in pain, then starts punching it. The purple rays start to affect him, turning him into Furry Eggman. He laughs then runs away leaving a rainbow behind, and Cubot and Orbot chase after him, and the door behind them closes.]

[Scene Change: Hedgehog Village, day.]

[Fennec Male is seen piling some watermelons. Furry Eggman runs into it and splats one of them, while Cubot and Orbot chase him with nets to the sound of a cover of "Yakety Sax". Furry Eggman steps on some plates, catching Professor Cluckins' attention. Cubot prepares the net to catch Furry Eggman, who bumps into a sign and runs away with the robot duo continuing the pursuit. Furry Eggman causes a crate of watermelons to fall, surprising Comedy Chimp and Male Fennec. He then continues to hop around the crates with Orbot and Cubot still on his tail and climbs over Comedy Chimp.]
Comedy Chimp: Hey!
[Furry Eggman hops off Comedy Chimp, and one of the robots accidentally swings the net on him offscreen, causing Comedy Chimp to sigh. Furry Eggman keeps on running, which causes Male Fennec to drop some of his arugula, and startling the citizens along the way, like Lady Walrus. Furry Eggman runs into Male Fennec a second time, who drops the arugula again. Then, the song ends.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Dave walks to the table where Team Sonic is sitting on and leaves a plate of salad on it.]
Dave: One Meh Salad.
[The camera focuses on the salad.]
Amy: That's just a plate of shredded iceberg lettuce.
Dave: Oh, sorry. One Premium Meh Salad.
[Furry Eggman hops into the plate of lettuce, surprising Sonic and Sticks. Cubot and Orbot are still chasing him. Sticks sighs. Furry Eggman pounces on Dave, causing him to fall on his back, and causes some glasses of green sauce to fall on the ground and break. Orbot nets Furry Eggman, who starts to flail his arms in panic.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[Eggman wakes up in his HQ room. He puts his hand on his hand and grunts.]
Dr. Eggman: What happened last night? I can't remember a thing, just like my weekend in Casino Night Zone!
Cubot: What happens in Casino Night Zone, stays in Casino Night Zone.
Orbot: After exposing yourself to purple rays, you became agitated, which caused you to morph into an adorable creature of some kind.
[While Orbot is talking, he shows Eggman the footage of the previous day's events.]
Dr. Eggman: I followed the Unenviable Clunk's origin story to the letter, but it just turned me into some sorta B-level cereal mascot!
Cubot: If you can't trust comic books for accurate representations of science, who can you trust?
Dr. Eggman: [Opens a book] It says here the effects of purple rays wear off if one can last 48 hours without a transformation. [Joyously] How hard can that be? I just have to not get angry for 2 days, easy-peasy!

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day.] [Eggman is taking a walk to Male Fennec's shop.]

Dr. Eggman: [Picks up an arugula] Just gonna pick up some delicious arugula and get back to the lair and wait out the 48 hours.
Sonic: So Egghead, why were your dunder-bots chasing that little purple dude yesterday?
Dr. Eggman: You can't prove I had anything to do with the creation of that purple whatsit.
Tails: It is way above your skill level. After all, you're no biotechnician!
[Team Sonic starts laughing at Eggman, making him growl.]
Orbot: Is it really that farfetched that a mechanical genius such as Dr. Eggman could learn some new science skills?
Amy: Eeeeeeeeh, I don't buy it.
Dr. Eggman: [Growls harder] I'm a genius! You no-good, stinking muskrats make me so ang- [Turns into Furry Eggman again, causing Team Sonic to gasp]
[The scene fades to black. Eggman is laying on the ground and opens his eyes, while Team Sonic, Cubot and Orbot look at him. The scene shows some more citizens as Team Sonic starts whispering to themselves.]
Cubot: You okay, boss?

[Eggman gets up while grunting]

Dr. Eggman: Guess my secret's out, huh?
Knuckles: Don't worry. We've known about your toenail collection for years!
Dr. Eggman: Not that! My other sligthly less shameful secret.
Amy: That you turn into a little purple guy every time you get mad. Don't worry, Eggman, we'll handle these news with the utmost maturity!
Sonic: [While shooting Eggman with a water gun] Stop squirting yourself! Stop squirting yourself!
Dr. Eggman: [While protecting himself] He-ey, quit it! You're squirting ME! That's not even how that joke's supposed to work!
[Wild Cat, Belinda, Beth, Old Monkey, Sticks and Tails all laugh at Eggman, who grunts and turns into Furry Eggman again. Sonic squirts him one last time, scaring him off. The Yakety Sax cover plays again as Cubot and Orbot start a new chase after their boss. Aside from Amy and Beth, all of Team Sonic cheer with the citizens.]

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day.]

Dr. Eggman: I'm sinking to all new lows bringing myself here.
[The scene cuts to the interior of the mansion, where Amy, Charlie, Comedy Chimp and Gunther.]
Amy: Welcome to anger management!
Dr. Eggman: YOU'RE teaching anger management? Aren't you just a powder keg of emotions waiting to explode?
[Eggman sits in the chair, angrily. The camera cuts back to the mansion exterior and back to the inside while Amy speaks.]
Amy: It's important to maintain your composure, even in the most frustrating of circumstances, be it physical torture or listening to a doddering old coot ramble on about nothing.
Dr. Eggman: [With his fingers crossed] Please be torture, please be torture, please be torture!

[Old Monkey enters the mansion.]

Old Monkey: A lot's changed since I was in youth. Back then, this city hall wasn't even here! It was across the street! Of course, we didn't call it a city hall, then. We called it the old Gather-round. Gather-round the city hall, we'd say! Oh.. I guess we did call it a city hall.
Dr. Eggman: WILL YOU JUST GET TO THE POINT, YOU BORING OLD... [Starts grunting, which causes him to turn into Furry Eggman and meows]
[The camera cuts back to the the outside of the mansion and back to the inside while Og speaks.]
Og: To be free of inner rage, one must clear one's mind, center one's Chi, upload one's anger to the cloud, man.
[Charlie is meditating, Comedy Chimp falls asleep but quickly wakes up, Gunther opens his eye briefly and Eggman sings a mantra.]
Dr. Eggman: I am calm. I am one with this hippie-dippie mumbo-jumbo.
[The camera cuts back to the outside of the mansion and back to the interior while Amy speaks.]
Amy: And now, for the final test.
[Amy hands over a phone to Eggman.]
Dr. Eggman: Hello, I'd like to schedule an appointment to get my cable TV service. [Phone gibberish] Five weeks? That seems unreasonable, but.. I've learned to accept that which I cannot control.
[Eggman hangs up. Everyone in the anger management applaud and Amy sniffs while wiping a tear off.]
Amy: Bravo.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Eggman is walking and stumbles into Sonic, Tails, Knuckles and Sticks.]
Sonic: Well well well, if it isn't Purple McCutestuffs.
[Team Sonic chuckles while approaching Eggman.]
Knuckles: The most adorable villain-willain in the whole village-willage! [While grabbing Eggman's mustache and pulling it back and forth] Yes, yes, yes he is!
Dr. Eggman: Hello, my dear nemeses. Lovely day, isn't it?
Tails: Are you gonna lose your temper?
Dr. Eggman: I have moved beyond such trivial things.
Sticks: What if i do... THIS? [Pokes Eggman's nose and mustache while making noises]
Dr. Eggman: Thank you for not touching me, I appreciate your restraint. Now if you'll excuse me... [Walks away whistling]

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[Eggman is meditating. Orbot and Cubot are looking at the clock doing a regressive count from 15:03.]
Orbot: Kudos, Dr. Eggman! Only 15 more minutes before the effects of the purple ray wear off completely!
Dr. Eggman: Nothing's going to stop me now. [Hears someone knocking on his door] Oh, good! A last minute complication!
[Eggman opens the door and it's revealed that Beth the Shrew was the one knocking.]
Beth the Shrew: Hey, mister! [Pulls out a plate of cookies] I felt bad everyone was teasing you, so I made you cookies!
Dr. Eggman: [Takes the plate] Well, isn't that the sweetest.. [Eats one and feels a weird taste]
Beth the Shrew: I ran out of baking soda, so I used toothpaste! [Enters Eggman's lair]
[Eggman swallows the cookie and takes a deep inhale, after which he follows Beth. Beth runs past Cubot and Orbot giggling and stops at the control panel.]
Beth the Shrew: Gee whiz! I love science stuff! [Points to a button] Hey, mister! What's this button do?
Dr. Eggman: That's my subatomic annihilator. You know, it's so good to see young people taking interest in-
Beth the Shrew: [Points to another button] And what's this one do?
Dr. Eggman: Oh-ho, well, it's a funny story behind that, when I-
Beth the Shrew: [Points to another button] and how 'bout this one?
Dr. Eggman: [In panic] DON'T TOUCH THAT BUTTON!
[Beth presses the button, which causes a hatch to open under her feet and her to fall on it screaming.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh man, she fell down the garbage chute! Cubot, go in after her!
[Cubot does a salute and hops into the chute, but can't go through it.]
Cubot: Ouch!
Dr. Eggman: Great. Not even my most sphelt robot can squeeze in there, and that trash compactor's gonna turn on any minute now! [Takes a look at the timer, which marks 13 minutes and continues to go down, after which he throws the plate of cookies behind, after which a cat scream is heard] There's only one guy I know who can fit through that chute, but to summon him, I'm gonna need to get angry. Orbot, insult me! Tell me everything I create is a failure!
Orbot: Oh, that's not true! You have lots to be proud of.
Dr. Eggman: That's sweet, but not helpful! [To Beth] Hang on, kid! I'll think of something! [Runs away]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

[Eggman goes to the balcony.¨']
Dr. Eggman: [To himself] Gotta get angry... [To Dave] Uuuh.. okay, I'll have two double Meh Burgers, extra pickles on one, an order of lightly fried Humdrum Rings, and a large cola, half diet, half regular, light on the ice, and hurry!
[Dave leaves to start working on Eggman's order.]
Dr. Eggman: No way he gets this right. Once he screws up, I'll be on a one-way trip to rage town!
[Dave returns with Eggman's order, giving it to him. Eggman swiftly takes the bag off Dave's hands and opens it.]
Dr. Eggman: But.. this is exactly what I ordered!
Dave: A broken clock's bound to be right twice a day. By the way, do you have the time? My clock's broken.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Eggman runs towards Sonic sitting on a bench.]
Dr. Eggman: O-hoh, Sonic, great! Make fun of me!
Sonic: Listen, Eggman: I know I was harsh on you the other day, I'm sorry.
Dr. Eggman: No-no. No-no-no-no-no. You're not sorry! You-you-you think I'm a buffoon! A joke! A yellow-bellied Mombot's boy!
[Eggman's wrist controller rings, and Eggman answers it.]
Orbot: [From Eggman's lair] I don't mean to rush you, but the trash compactor walls are closing in!
[A screen shows the trash compactor functioning showing a pink circle that represents Beth.]
Beth the Shrew: [From the wrist controller] Help me, mister!
Dr. Eggman: [Frustrated] I finally wanna get angry and I can't! [Scared] Now that little girl's gonna get pancaked! Why can't I get angry? Why, Why, Whyyy?! It makes me so mad!
[A sparkling sound effect plays while Eggman turns into Furry Eggman and starts hopping around. Sonic gets up.]
Sonic: [Crouched] Don't worry, Eggman, I heard the whole thing! Let's book it! [Grabs Furry Eggman] C'mere, you.
[Sonic quickly zips along to Eggman's lair.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[The screen show the compactor's walls getting closer.]
Beth the Shrew: Misteeer! I'm getting squooshed, I'll betcha!
[Cubot and Orbot look at the screen in concern. Sonic arrives at the lair and releases Furry Eggman, who then proceeds to fall into the compactor's hatch screaming. Orbot, Cubot and Sonic look into it, and the screen shows the pink circle inside the compactor going up at high speed. Furry Eggman comes out of the hatch with Beth on his arms and everyone celebrates. Furry Eggman puts Beth down.]
Beth the Shrew: Thank you, thank you, Thank you, Mr. Purple Doctor Thingy!
[Beth cuddles with Furry Eggman]
Sonic: Hey, uuuh, I helped too!
Beth the Shrew: [Gets up] Want a cookie? [Gives Sonic a cookie]
Sonic: [Eats the cookie] Oh.. ugh.

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[Back to normal, Eggman goes back to meditating with the clock marking sixteen minutes.]
Dr. Eggman: [To himself] You're doing good, Eggman. Just free your mind of all distractions.
Cubot: [With a tray on his hand] Soup's on, boss!
[Cubot trips on Eggman's carpet, causing him to drop the tray on his boss, who gets angry and turns into Furry Eggman again. The clock goes back to 48 hours.]