Don't Ever Say I Wasn't There for You/Transcript

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Knuckles (TV series) Don't Ever Say I Wasn't There for You (transcript)

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This is a transcript of the Knuckles episode, "Don't Ever Say I Wasn't There for You".

[Scene: Woods, night.]

[The episode begins with the G.U.N. agents driving their van, with someone else trailing them from far away. The agents eventually pull up to IceCap Ski Resort before exiting the van and examining their destination.]

Agent Mason: IceCap Ski Resort. This is where the Buyer wants to do the exchange?

Agent Willoughby: He makes the rules, not us. Right, help me unload the echidna.

[Mason opens the van's trunk as Willoughby smirks. Meanwhile, the other car pulls up to the resort, that being Wade Whipple in his police cruiser. Wade sees the agents unload the box containing Knuckles from the trunk and wheel it inside.]

Wade: Alright, little buddy. I'm coming for ya. Come on, Wade, you can do this. You might not be a warrior yet, but you are a deputy. In fact, you're one of the greatest deputies in the history of law enforcement. And normally, in a situation like this, you'd call for backup. But this is Montana, so... you are the backup. [takes a deep breath] Rely on your instincts. Think back to your police training. You are prepared for this.

[Scene change: Wade's childhood house.]

[Flashback to Wade's younger years, where he's holding a police trainee journal and watching the Will Smith comedy film Bad Boys for "research". He's watching the scene where Miles Burnett is about to get run over by a hijacked taxi, only for Smith's character Mike Lowrey to tackle him out of the way]

Mike Lowrey on TV (Will Smith): Don't ever say I wasn't there for you.

Wade: [writing notes] Cool line.

[Scene change: Wade's police cruiser, outside IceCap Ski Resort, night.]

Wade: I am extremely unprepared for this.

[Opening credits roll, with Wade playing cymbals.]

[Scene change: IceCap Ski Resort foyer.]

[Knuckles comes to, still trapped inside his box. The room he is inside is shrouded in darkness, only faintly illuminated by his box's walls. He can barely notice the faint silhouette of elk antlers.]

Knuckles: Where have you taken me? A dungeon? A torture chamber? A pit so deep that no one will ever hear my screams? [Mason presses a remote, revealing he's actually inside a fancy, cozy foyer.] Oh. That's quite nice, actually.

Mason: Damn right. Always pictured myself living in a place like this one day. Now I don't know how to ski, but with a house like this, you bet I could learn.

[Scene change: Wade's police cruiser, outside IceCap Ski Resort.]

Wade: All you have to do is sneak into the bad guys' lair, try not to get yourself killed by their superpowered weapons, and then save your cool new best friend. What could possibly go wrong?

[He takes a glance at Mason's stolen gauntlets.]

Wade: Come on, Wade. What would Knuckles do?

[Scene change: IceCap Ski Resort foyer.]

[Knuckles is sitting inside the box, lost in thought.]

Wade (voiceover): He'd come up with an awesome rescue plan.

Knuckles: Ah... I am visualizing my inevitable escape and your brutal destruction at my hands. [laughs maniacally] Yes! Your arms have just snapped off with the most satisfying crunch.

Mason: Well, it's a good thing you're trapped inside that case then, buddy.

[Enter Willoughby]

Willoughby: Stop talking to him!

Mason: He was talkin' to me.

Willoughby: Just stop talking.

Mason: Fine with me. I'm gonna go relax. Job's done, and we about to get paid! [claps and leaves]

Willoughby: Americans...

[Scene change: Convenience store.]

["Holding Out for a Hero" by Bonnie Tyler starts playing as Wade enters a convenience store.]

Wade: Alright. Wade's awesome rescue plan starts now. Step one: Project confidence.

[He picks out a pair of sunglasses and dons them. The camera zooms into his left lens, and then...]

[Scene change: Outside IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade's imagination. Wade pulls up to the exterior of the resort in a tricked out red car and steps out of it in a fancy tuxedo James Bond-style.]

[Scene change: Convenience store.]

Wade: Step two: Become one with the shadows.

[Scene change: Outside IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade's imagination. In his tux, Wade does some unnecessary backflips as he approaches a fuse box and then kills off all the power in the resort, winking at the camera as he does so.]

[Scene change: Interior, IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade pours some motor oil all over the floors of the resort. Mason, who is on security duty, is patrolling the halls as Wade holds up the box of oil and smirks at the camera. Wade throws the empty box at Mason, getting his attention. The two men get in a face-off as Wade waggles his eyebrows. Mason runs at Wade, but slips and slides on the oil as Wade steps aside and holds an arm out to knock Mason over. Mason lands on the floor and continues to slide as Wade slides on the floor and smirks at the camera.]

[Scene change: Convenience store.]

[Wade acquires some dental floss, a lighter, and hair spray.]

Wade: Step three... lock and load.

[Scene change: Interior, IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade's imagination. Willoughby stands guard over Knuckles' case in the foyer. Wade uses the dental floss as a bungee cord to lower himself through the ceiling and drops down. Getting Willoughby's attention, Wade lights his lighter and uses the hairspray to blast the flames right at her. Willoughby's only reaction is to scream inaudibly as Wade cackles. Later, as the flames consume the foyer, a frizzled Willoughby collapses as Wade walks away from the flames.]

[Scene change: Convenience store.]

[Wade opens a curtain to reveal stacks of fireworks.]

Wade: Step four: The grand finale.

[Scene change: Interior, IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade's imagination. Wade carries Knuckles away from the burning foyer and leaps out of the balcony, flipping onto the ground before setting Knuckles down.]

Knuckles: You are truly an amazing warrior, Wade Whipple. Now, as is tradition, let us celebrate our victory with a warm hug.

Wade: I thought you'd never ask.

[The two embrace each other as the fireworks go off in the background.]

[Scene change: Convenience store.]

[In reality, Wade is hugging all of his merchandise as the cashier watches in confusion.]

Cashier: Anything else?

[Wade snaps back to reality and dumps all his items on the cashier's desk.]

Wade: Gimme a blue raspberry Icee.

[He then fills up a cup of a blue raspberry Icee and takes a sip.]

[Scene change: IceCap Ski Resort foyer.]

Knuckles: Oh, how your screams are a symphony to my ears as I crush your skulls into a fine powder and--

Willoughby: Sorry, don't mean to interrupt, but, uh, you almost finished here?

Knuckles: No! [realizes] Okay, now I am finished.

Willoughby: Do you know, I'm sorry we haven't gotten a chance to get to know each other yet. I'm actually quite an admirer of your work.

Knuckles: What could you possibly know about my life of battles and quests?

Willoughby: Oh... [stands up] I know all about you, Knuckles. Studying creatures like you, your abilities, where you're from. That was my job for a long time.

Knuckles: I see. Then, you know about my tribe's victory over the vile Dr. Robotnik!

Willoughby: Of course.

Knuckles: So, if you know how I destroyed someone as dangerous as him, then you know how easily I can destroy someone like you.

Willoughby: Is that what you think? That I'm nothing? That I'm no one compared to the great Ivo Robotnik? Well, let me assure you, you're wrong. 'Cause while I know everything about you, I promise, you know nothing about me. But when this is all over... you will.

[Scene change: Outside IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Wade pulls up to the front door in his police cruiser and exits his cruiser.]

Wade: Alright. Geared up. Here we go.

[He places down his gear: the oil, the wire, the hairspray, the floss, and the lighter, before donning Mason's gauntlets.]

Wade: Hang tight, Knucks. I'm comin' to get ya. All I need is the perfect rescue soundtrack. [He's got his Spotify rescue playlist cued up on his phone] Let's do this, Spotify. Time to rock out!

[He attempts to hit play multiple times, but the gauntlets are too thick to register on his phone]

Wade: That's not gonna...

[He attempts to hit the play button with his nose, but when he finally does, his playlist only plays the extremely ill-fitting "I Don't Want to Wait" by Paula Cole]

Wade: Oh, no, not that song! Oh, forget it. Warrior mode activated.

[He slams his gauntlets together, accidentally releasing a burst of Chaos Energy. It's so strong that, in slow-motion, it knocks him back, spills the contents of his oil can right on his fireworks inside his cruiser, knocks his sunglasses off his head as they crack from landing on the ground, and causes his hairspray to blast the fire from his lighter right on his cruiser, igniting the fireworks as they explode.]

Wade: [dismayed] The fireworks were supposed to be the grand finale!

[Scene change: IceCap Ski Resort foyer.]

[Willoughby and Mason are playing chess against each other when they notice Wade's fireworks erupt outside.]

Mason: What the hell?

Willoughby: What was that?

Mason: Sounds like someone just set off...

[The two agents leave the foyer, leaving Knuckles all alone and confused on what is going on.

[Scene change: Outside IceCap Ski Resort.]

[Willoughby and Mason head out onto the balcony and see Wade's fireworks blowing up.]

Willoughby: Is that the round little man again?

[The fireworks finish blowing up with Wade's cruiser relatively intact.]

Wade: Oh. At least she's still drivable.

[He's spoken too soon because his cruiser erupts in flames.]

Willoughby: You again!

Wade: [looks up] That's right! I'm here for the echidna! [hears beeping from the left gauntlet gauntlets] What's that beeping? That can't be good. Wonder what that-- [presses a button and accidentally activates the right gauntlet's rocket boosters before being sent flying] Oh, no! [jerks to his right] Yah! Ay-ay-ay! [flies upwards] Oh, no! [floats downwards] Oh, my God! [jerks to his left] Wee-hee-hee-hee! [tries to regain control as the agents stare dumbfounded] I will be right with you guys! [accidentally flies straight in their direction] Oh, God! [crashes through the windows and hits the ground]

Mason: You guard the echidna. I'm gonna go and handle this. [leaves]

[Willoughby follows suit]

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