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Sonic Boom
Do Not Disturb (transcript)

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This is the transcript from the Sonic Boom episode, "Do Not Disturb".

[Scene: Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Sonic is sleeping in his hammock. He talks in his sleep.]
Sonic: No. Stop. You're pure evil. Why are you coloring my arms?
[Saliva falls on Sonic's face. Sonic opens his eyes and is shocked to find out who is there. A widabit sniffs him. Sonic smells the widabit, and flinches in disgust.]
Sonic: Ugh. You need a bath. And a shower. And to get the heck out of my shack! What are you anyway?
[The Widabit roars at Sonic, blowing him over his hammock. Fastidious Beaver appears at Sonic's doorstep.]
Fastidious Beaver: Actually, it's a widabit, an extremely rare and majestic species.
Sonic: It doesn't seem so majestic to me.
[The widabit drops some saliva on the ground. Fastidious discovers it]
Fastidious: Ooh! Is that slobber? That means she's chosen your shack for her nesting ritual. Now get out and don't return her until she's finished!
[Fastidious pushes Sonic out of his shack.]
Sonic: Whoa whoa whoa. What do you think you're doing?
Fastidious: I represent the Endangered Species Coalition. They made me chairman because they wanted to hold meetings in the library.
Sonic: Really? Working that clout, huh?
[Amy appears on Sonic's porch.]
Amy: Mr. the Hedgehog. As vice-chairman of the ESC, I need you to vacate the domicile until this creature finds its true soulmate, and completes the courtship's ritual.
[Sonic facepalms, grunting in anger.]

[Scene Change: Tails' House, day.]

[Sonic arrives at Tails' House. Tails opens the door. Sonic is holding a pillow.]
Sonic: It's been too long since we've had a slumber party.
Tails: Huh?
[Sonic throws his pillow on the couch. Sonic places himself on the couch and puts his feet on the table. Tails places a magazine under Sonic's feet.]
Sonic: Ooh. Sidekick Magazine. I wonder who's number two this month.
[Sonic takes the magazine from under his feet and reads it. Tails places another magazine under his feet. A montage then plays. The montage starts out with both Sonic and Tails playing a video game. Sonic celebrates his first win. In the next scene, they then play inside a tent. In the next scene, Sonic passes a can to Tails. Tails opens the lid and a toy spring jumps out and lands on his head. In the next scene, Sonic picks up a bottle of fizzy drink from the fridge, shakes it and puts it back in, walking away quietly. In the next scene, Tails opens the shaken bottle and the fizzy drink sprays out all over his face while Sonic watches. Sonic laughs while Tails shows a miserable look, but eventually looks at Sonic with a smirk. In the next scene, Sonic dances as he celebrates another win over Tails (who is annoyed) in a video game. In the next scene, Tails walks into his house, only to find Sonic playing his video game and his living room a mess. The sight leaves Tails annoyed.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day.]

Amy: So, how are things at the man cave? You two must be having a blast.
Sonic: Heck yeah! I love destroying Tails in Mutant Wrestling every night. [Firmly smacks Tails in the back] Ain't that right, buddy?
Tails: [Unconfident] Yeah... Heh.
Dave the Intern: Order up, for... Sanic?
Sonic: Uh, I-I think you mean Sonic.
Dave: No. It says Sanic right here.
Sonic: This may take a minute. [Runs off]
Tails: [Worried] I can't take it anymore. You guys gotta help me. He's my best friend, but living with him is a nightmare. Any idea how much longer the widabit is going to be at Sonic's shack?
Amy: Could be months. You can't hurry love.
Tails: But maybe we can push it along.

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Tails is busy installing a loudspeaker, screwing in the last few screws.]
Tails: Just a few tweaks, and the widabit call will be up and running.
[Tails jumps off the ladder and presses a button on his remote. A widabit sound plays from the loudspeaker.]
Sonic: Sounds like Eggman after Meh Burger's all-you-can-eat promotion.
[Another widabit approaches Sonic's Shack where the other widabit is residing. Sonic, Amy and Tails watch on as the two widabits snarl at each other.]
Amy: They... don't seem to be hitting it off.
[The female widabit wants to start a fight with the male widabit. The male widabit tries to run away. The female widabit starts chasing after the male widabit.]
Sonic: I bet we can get these two together. We just need to set the right mood.

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day.]

[The Shack is turned into a restaurant-style place. Sonic, Tails and Amy are wearing suits, with Tails playing the violin. Amy lights up a candle. Sonic brings a meal to the widabits, who continue to snarl at each other. ]
Sonic: Ahem. Good evening, lovebirds. Our special tonight is a herb-crusted tilapia with mango chutney glaze, ooh! Finished off with a generous helping of gas station nacho cheese.
[The two Widabits attack each other, throwing Sonic off his feet. Sonic lands on his head and the falling food plate covers him in food. He grunts in anger while Amy looks in shock at the widabits. While the widabits run around the shack, they ram into Tails and his violin, knocking him over and covering him in widabit drool. A Spy Bot emerges into the shack in secret.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's lair, day.]

[Orbot, Cubot and Eggman are watching the footage of the two widabits damaging Sonic's Shack.]
Dr. Eggman: They're so ugly they deserve to be extinct. And those Widabits are pretty ugly, too. [Laughs] Sonic and his dingus friends won't know what hit them when I put my diabolical plan in motion.

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Sonic, Tails and Amy are trying to push the male widabit back into the shack.]
Tails: If you had just used scented candles like I said...
Sonic: They were scented! The package said "fresh air"!
Tails: That's not a scent! What are you, some kinda rube, Sonic?
Sonic: Don't blame the candles! We should be talking about the real issue: Your substandard violin playing.
Amy: Keep it down! You're upsetting this rare delicate creature. Now let's give him a good shove.
[The widabit kicks his back legs at the Sonic, Tails and Amy, and runs away.]
Sonic: [Angrily] Oh. Are you happy now Tails? We just lost our bachelor!
Tails: [Angrily] How can I be happy? Until we get rid of that thing, I'm stuck with you trashing my place and watching The Real Housewife of Gogoba Village!
Sonic: Oh-oh. You think living with you is a picnic?! Ever look up "neat-freak" in the dictionary?! Because if you did, you'd find a series of words that describe what a neat-freak is, which also describes you!
[The Communicators beep.]
Sticks: [On Commuincator] Come quick! Eggman's gone ballistic!
[Sonic and Tails grunt at each other.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day.]

[Knuckles and Sticks are dealing with Eggman's robots while Eggman watches from his Eggmobile. Two Crab Bots fire lasers at Knuckles. He runs and dodges them. Sticks throws her boomerang, destroying one of the Crab Bots. After the boomerang returns to Sticks, Sticks joins Knuckles at his side.]
Dr. Eggman: You'll never stop my new improved Ball Bot. They're virtually indestructible!
[A Ball Bot bounces towards Sticks and Knuckles. Knuckles deals with it in one punch. The Ball Bot immediately after explodes in mid-air.]
Dr. Eggman: I did say virtually.
[Sonic, Tails and Amy arrive.]
Sonic: Alright, an Eggman fight. I've been looking to get out some aggression!
[Sonic spin attacks three Crab Bots, but stops in his tracks when he notices a widabit standing in his way.]
Dr. Eggman: Warrant beast on the field. Don't worry, I got this.
[Eggman presses a button and begins charging his Eggmobile's laser. Coincidentally Fastidious Beaver arrives, protecting the widabit.]
Fastidious: By decree of the Endangered Species Coalition, this is now a protected area. You need to move your little battle elsewhere.
Dr. Eggman: Get bend, beaver. I don't have to take orders from you.
Sonic: Look. It's an endangered species. Let's just move over here and be out of its way. [Walks to the side]
Dr. Eggman: Well, I'm staying right here.
Sonic: Well, I'll be battling over here.
[They both stare at each other. Eggman grunts.]
Dr. Eggman: Ugh, fine. [Moves his Eggmobile to the side] Ready to be decimated, Sonic?
[The widabit walks in front of Sonic. Fastidious follows to protect it. The other members of Team Sonic drop their arms and groan.]
Dr. Eggman: Why are we even protecting this thing? It clearly wants to be destroyed! It keeps wandering in front of lasers!
Fastidious: The ESC now declares this a protected area.
Dr. Eggman: [Angrily] This is what happens when bureaucracy gets involved. It hurts small villainy!
Sonic: If I never see a widabit again, it'll be too soon.
[A rumble is heard from the village. A large horde of widabits come charging towards Team Sonic.]
Tails: Looks like my attraction call might've worked too well.
[The villagers start screaming and running away as the widabits approach them.]
Amy: Everyone! Please remain calm! Your screams of terror are upsetting these serenely majestic creatures!
[The widabits knock Eggman and his Eggmobile up in the air during their charge. The group then charges at Beth the Shrew, but Sonic moves her out of the way. Tails grabs Mrs. Vandersnout's hands and hoists her up, avoiding the stampede. He puts her on top of a hut to protect her. Lady Walrus' family picnic is the next to be invaded by the widabits. Knuckles, however, emerges out of the ground next to the picnic and creates a wall of dirt, separating the stampede. Next, Lady Goat tries to climb up a tree, but fails. Sticks, however, runs up the tree with her legs on the branch and hanging upside down while she pulls Lady Goat up, keeping her safe.]

[Scene Change: Outside Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Team Sonic and Fastidious Beaver run arrives on the beach to find the horde of widabits. The female widabit in Sonic's shack snarls at the newly arrived male widabits.]
Sonic: I thought you two said these things were endangered.
Fastidious: [Reads the book] Actually, if there are more than fifty, they can be legally relocated to a new area, such as a farm, glue factory, or nature preserves.
Tails: [Excitedly] And Sonic could move back into his shack!
[Sonic runs around the horde of widabit.]
Sonic: [Annoyed] Ah, crud. Including the female, I could only count forty-nine.
Knuckles: Don't feel bad, Sonic. That's higher than I can count.
Tails: There's gotta be another widabit somewhere, but how do we find it?
Sticks: These things got a pretty pungent musk. My expert snozzle should be able to track one down.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, jungle, day.]

[Sticks sniffs and crawls across the ground. The rest of Team Sonic follow her.]
Sticks: Whoa. Something rank up ahead. Either we're getting closer to a widabit, or we're passing Gogoba village.
[Sticks carries on.]
Sonic: To Amy] We gotta find a fiftieth widabit. I can't keep living with Tails. Everyday he writes a list of chores to do on his chore board. Thankfully he's never assigned to any of me, but still, it's an eyesore.
Tails: [Angrily to Knuckles] Sonic's driving me bonkers. The guy can't even tell the difference between a stationary laser reflector and a multi-faceted laser refractor.
Knuckles: [Laughs] Yeah, words.
[Suddenly, Tails, Knuckles and the rest of Team Sonic cover their noses and cough.]
Amy: [Muffling] Sweet, merciful landfills. What is that awful smell?!
Sticks: It's number fifty!
[A spluttering widabit is shown.]
Sonic: Go ahead, Tails. Go get him.
Tails: I prefer my lunch to stay in my stomach, thank you very much.
Sonic: Well how else is he going to get back to my shack?
Tails: Figure it out yourself. I'm done doing your dirty work.
Amy: What do we say we let these two sort this out.
Knuckles: You'll have to speak up! My nose is pinched!
[Amy sighs and walks off. Knuckles and Sticks walk with them, leaving Sonic and Tails staring angrily at each other.]
Sonic: You know, you're being a real doughnut-hole, Tails!
Tails: You're the doughnut-hole, doughnut-hole!
[Sinister music plays as they both glare at each other. The music eventually stops and the glaring turns to laughter.]
Sonic: I guess we're both kind of doughnut-holes, aren't we?
Tails: Maybe best friends don't have to be best room-mates.
Sonic: Maybe not. Put it there?
[Sonic tries to give Tails a handshake. Instead, Tails hugs Sonic. Sonic gets uncomfortable.]
Sonic: Okay. Too long. Getting weird. [They let go] So, let's move this beast. Shame we don't have your widabit call handy.
Tails: That's it! I can load up the call sound down to my Communicator!
[Tails presses a button on his Communicator, activating the widabit sound. However, he gets chased by the fiftieth widabit. Tails tries to run away, but Sonic rushes over and carries Tails, with the fiftieth widabit following them.]

[Scene Change: Outside Sonic's Shack, day.]

[Fastidious Beaver continues to read his book when Knuckles, Amy and Sticks arrive. Sonic, carrying Tails, rushes in as well.]
Sonic: Move it or lose it, people!
[Sonic throws Tails up in the air and runs from the fiftieth widabit. Flying, Tails breathes a sigh of relief. A light then flashes on Tails' Communicator, which is still playing the widabit call. Tails looks at his Communicator but screams as he notices several widabits looking angrily up to him. He flies down next to Sonic's Shack and presses a button on his Communicator, canceling out the widabit call. The fiftieth widabit halts next to Tails. Tails stands back and Sonic moves in as the female widabit and the fiftieth widabit confront each other. Sonic and Tails both get excited as the two widabits fall in love, then move in to Sonic's Shack. Knuckles, Amy and Sticks move closer to Sonic and Tails.]
Amy: We did it! True love conquers all. Right, Sonic?
Sonic: [Miserably] Yeah, sure, whatever. [Normally] And now that there's fifty of them, I can have my shack back, and we can haul these guys off to a nature preserve.
Amy: And we'll get right on that. As soon as those two lovebirds finish their courting ritual.
Sonic: How long will that take?
Fastidious: About a week.
Sonic: Hm, wha?
Sticks: Looks like you two are still room-mates.
Knuckles: I think you mean you three? [Whispers to Tails] I've been living under your porch.
Tails: You can't live under my porch!
Knuckles: I'll take that as an invitation to move into the house with you and Sonic. I know a couple opossums that will be sorry to see me go. But it's worth it. Let's go home, roomies!
[Tails grunts in annoyance as the screen fades to black.]