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Defective Detectives/Transcript

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This is the transcript of the Sonic X episode "Defective Detectives".

[Scene: Station Square]

Froggy: Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!
Big: Hey! Froggy! It sure is a nice day. Huh? That's pretty.
Froggy: Ribbit! Ribbit! Ribbit!

[Scene Change: The White House]

Christina: There have been 5 confirmed reports so far Mr. President. It seems that most of the buildings have landed in parts in the city closest to Mystic Ruins.
President: Great. And what about all the creatures they found inside?
[The screen now shows several animals from Sonic's world. A Flicky is front and center.]
Christina: The bird-like ones are known as Flickies, sir.
President: And I'm assuming they all came from the same world as Sonic. Right, Professor Thorndyke?
Christina: Yep. It would appear that way.
President: I see. Now then, I'm sure you must be wondering why I asked for you and your grandson here this afternoon.
Chuck: You're worried about the arrival of these creatures. You're thinking you need to separate them from humans. You're concerned there'll be trouble between two such different species unless they're... dealt with.
[The TV turns off.]
Christina: We wish we didn't have to. It's just-
Chuck: Don't apologize.
[Christina looks up.]
Chuck: We understand your situation completely.
[But Chris looks depressed.]

[The opening theme plays.]

[Scene Change: Station Square]

[Knuckles and Rouge are atop a building, looking down at the city.]
Rouge: Have you heard? A couple more friends from back home dropped in. Seems every day is like a regular reunion around here. 'Course, if too many of us start showing up, the humans aren't gonna be too happy. They'll probably decide we're dangeroud and round us all up. Imagine us... together.
[She approaches Knuckles.]
Rouge: 24/7... My, I wonder that'd be like, don't you?
[Knuckles blushes.]
Knuckles: Get this straight! I'd rather live in solitary confinement than with you!
Rouge: Don't get so excited, sweetie. I'm only saying that the authorities won't like our kind around. Believe me, I don't like the idea of being locked up any more than you do. ... I should have realized that the welcome mat wouldn't be out forever.
Knuckles: Yeah. Too good to be true. One day they love us because we're unique, and the next day we're in jail because we're different. Well, they won't take me without a fight.
Rouge: Now that's the right attitude. Oh well, we'll just have to make the best of it.
[She walks to the other side of Knuckles.]
Rouge: When they come to get us, I hope you're around to protect me.
[She flaps her wings and hovers above Knuckles.]
Rouge: Well, I'm off. Oh, and there's just one more thing.
Knuckles: What's that?
Rouge: I hope we share a cell.
[Rouge flies away, leaving Knuckles blushing again and shaking his fist.]
Knuckles: You're batty!

[Scene Change: Elsewhere in Station Square]

[That night, Chris is at the pier, looking out at the ocean. Many thoughts are his head. Chuck is standing by the car nearby.]
Chuck: Don't know about you, Chris, but I'm pretty hungry. Why don't we go home and have a little of Ella's--
Chris: Grandpa? ... I've been thinking... about what the President said?... Do you really think they're gonna... take Sonic away?
[Chuck walks over to Chris and places a hand on his shoulder.]
Chris: I mean... he's different, but why should that matter? Deep down, he's just like you and me.
Chuck: I know... I know...
[They look at the ocean together.]

[Scene Change: A building]

[In a building near the pier, a Mobian crocodile is growing impatient.]
Vector: Leave it to Charmy to take his own sweet time gettin' here!
[A Mobian chameleon, Espio by name, answers.]
Espio: I'd say we've got more important things to worry about. Like where we are, for instance, and how did the the three of us get here in the first place, and how do we get back.
Vector: Your guess is as good as mine, Espio. I'm just as confused as you are. Did we travel through time somehow? Or space, maybe?
Espio: Which one do you think happened?
Vector: What difference does it make? All that matters is that we're stuck here! And since we're stuck here, we ought to concentrate on a bigger question.
Espio: What's that?
Vector: Why is half of the moon missing?!
[Just then Charmy bursts into the cabin.]
Charmy: Hey! Wait'll you hear, Vector!
[The Mobian bee flies onto Vector's snout.]
Charmy: You won't believe it in a million trillion years!
Vector: What won't I believe?
Charmy: We got blown to a whole different world!
[He holds up a newspaper.]
Charmy: And the proof's right here in this newspaper!
Vector: Charmy...
Charmy: See?
Vector: Charmy!
Charmy: Uh-huh?
Vector: Will. You. Get. Off. My. Nose?!
[Charmy gets off of Vector.]
Espio: All right. Where are we, Charmy?
Charmy: I don't know.
[Vector angrily pounds his hands on the desk.]
Vector: Gaaahhh! I ask you to do one simple thing!
[Charmy wags his finger at Vector.]
Vector: [Angry] Your assignment was to find out where we are!
[Charmy props Vector's mouth open with the newspaper.]
Charmy: Never mind that! Just look at this!
[He removes the paper.]
Charmy: Oops, sorry.
Vector: This better be good.
Charmy: Here!
[Charmy shows Vector the correct article, which shows an image of Sonic.]
Vector: What?
[He takes the newspaper from Charmy.]
Vector: Well, if it ain't our old friend Sonic! Let's see here... "Sonic Saves the Day Again."... Sonic the Hedgehog rescued the world from catastrophe once again when he nimbly prevented a long-forgotten space station, the Space Colony ARK, from crashing into the planet yesterday.
[A shot is shown of Super Sonic and Super Shadow trying to prevent the space colony from crashing into the earth.]
Super Sonic: Here we go!
Super Shadow: Chaos!
Super Sonic: Control!
[In a brilliant display of light, the two hedgehogs use Chaos Control to send the colony back into orbit. Shadow is nowhere to be seen. The timer is frozen at 00:00:50:29. The people celebrate in the streets as confetti falls.]
Vector: [Narrating] "This is just the latest in a series of amazing rescues that have kept the famously speedy hedgehog in the news."
[Various shots of Sonic on TV are shown. Then Sonic's arrival on Earth is shown.]
Vector: [Narrating] "Since first arriving in Station Square under mysterious circumstances some time ago..."
[Now Sonic is seen breaking into Area 99 and rescuing Cream.]
Vector: [Narrating] "...Sonic has shown a remarkable aptitude for heroism against increasingly dangerous odds."
[During their run in the flashback, Sonic lets go of Cream's arm.]
Cream: Sonic!
Sonic: Run!
[Leaping into the air, he destroys one camera, then grabs another and uses it to fire at all the other cameras in the hall. The doors begin closing, and one of them starts to close right in front of Cream.]
Cream: The door! We can't make it out!
[Sonic scoops up Cream and totes her under the door right as it closes. The shot ends.]
Vector: [Reading] "Through his use of supersonic speed, agility, strength, and just plain smarts, Sonic the Hedgehog has become famous the world over for daring deeds and fast-footed feats."
[Now the shot changes to Sonic racing to the rescue in Missile Wrist Rampage. He races up a skyscraper to take on E-23 Missile Wrist.]
Dr. Eggman: Hurry! Fire!
[Missile Wrist fires five rockets at Sonic, which explode at his location. However, Sonic rolls out of the smoke, completely unfazed by the attack. He spins past and above a surprised Eggman and Missile Wrist.]
Dr. Eggman: Fire away!
[Missile Wrist tries to fire its tethered missile hands at Sonic, but he danced from hand to hand, even making faces.]
Dr. Eggman: Wise guy! I'll show you!
Knuckles: Sonic! Try the old "slap on the wrist"!
Sonic: Yeah!
[Sonic rides the next missile hand back to its owner. He makes a face, which prompts Missile Wrist to smash Sonic with its other hand. Sonic leaps into the air, and the impact of the two hands colliding with each other causes them to be destroyed.]
Sonic: Bye!
Dr. Eggman: Fire!
[Missile Wrist fires six rockets at Sonic, which explode in his area.]
Dr. Eggman: Hah-haaaah!
[But Sonic spins down out of the smoke.]
Sonic: Heheheh!
[He spins right through the heart of Missile Wrist, causing it to crackle. Eggman stares in shock before Missile Wrist finally explodes, raining debris everywhere. The flashback changes to Station Square celebrating Sonic's victory over Eggman.]
Vector: [Narrating] "Sonic has shown that truth, honor, and goodness can and will triumph every time!"
[The flashbacks end.]
[Vector rips the newspaper in half.]
Vector: So Sonic's a big hero! What a laugh riot!
Charmy: You're just jealous 'cause you're not famous like Sonic is.
Espio: Knock it off, Charmy. We'll be famous soon.
Vector: [To the viewer] In case you're wonderin', Detective Vector's the name!
[His stats appear.]
Vector: [To the viewer] I'm a private eye kind of guy and the head of my very own detective agency! I may be lean, mean, and green, but behind my cool croc exterior, I'm really just a big ol' softy. Just don't let that get around, you got me? I got a reputation! A detective's gotta be tough, so let's just keep this between you and me, okay?
Charmy: [To the viewer] My name's Charmy and I can be--
[Espio appears and pushes Charmy off-screen.]
Espio: [To the viewer] My name is Espio.
[His stats appear.]
Espio: [To the viewer] I'm the brains of this organization. I also possess some peculiar spy skills. I'm smart. I'm quick on my feet. I also happen to be a ninja.
Charmy: [Off-screen] He's also full of himself.
[Espio flashes an anger symbol, but calms down and walks off-screen.]
Espio: [Off-screen] It's better to be full of myself than to be an obnoxious pipsqueak.
Charmy: [Off-screen] Hey Vector, can I tell 'em about me now?
Vector: Aw, too bad, Charmy; we're all out of time!
[Charmy appears on screen.]
Charmy: No! Aahh!

[Scene Change: Eggman's old base]

[A rocket launches from the ruins of Eggman's base.]

[Scene Change: The White House]

[One of the President's aides gets off the phone with someone.]
President's Aide: Mr. President, we've just received word that a missile has been launched from Dr. Eggman's undersea base.
President: Huh? Find out where it's headed right away!

[Scene Change: A military base]

Agent: Mr. President, we have confirmation from Cenral Command One.

[Scene Change: The White House]

[The aide reports this news.]
President's Aide: The missile is headed for the moon!
President: I should have known.
President's Aide: Mr. President!
President: Yes, what's happening?
President's Aide: It's Dr. Eggman! He's on the TV phone!
[Eggman's rocket is shown jettisoning its external fuel tanks whilst travelling to the moon.]
Dr. Eggman: Ah, good evening, sir. I wanted to apologize for that nasty ARK business. That was so unfortunate. And to show you how very sorry I am to have caused such a calamity, I thought I would offer to mend the moon free of charge. It's the least I can do.
President: That's... good news, Eggman.
Dr. Eggman: Getting it perfectly round won't be easy, but with a little luck and a whole lot of elbow grease, I'll have it patched up in a jiffy. Okay?
[The call ends.]
President's Aide: [To a technician] Can we trace that?
President: He certainly is full of surprises, isn't he?
Christina: You don't really think he wants to repair the damage, do you, Mr. President?
President: I don't know what to think anymore.
President's Aide: [To the technician] You did? You traced the call?
President: That was quick. Get Eggman back on the line right away!
[The aide listens as the technician tells him where the call came from.]
President's Aide: Yes... Mhm... Answering machine? But we just talked to him! Send some agents over there and grab him!
[The President shrugs.]
Christina: I wonder if we can trust him...

[Scene Change: The moon]

[Eggman's rocket arrives at the moon, and soon metal begins to form the broken half of the moon. The repairs are complete in record time.]

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Living room]

[Chuck, Ella, Tanaka, Tails, and Cream are watching the news.]
News Reporter: It appears the moon has been repaired by the notorious Dr. Eggman.
Tails: Is it true it only took him ten minutes?
Chuck: I have to admit, he's some scientist.
Cream: I don't know. I think it looks kind of funny, don't you?
[Amy enters and stands in front of the TV.]
Amy: Oh, who cares about some silly old moon? Where's Sonic?

[Scene Change: Elsewhere]

[Sonic, who is running, notices the repaired moon.]
Sonic: Whoa...

[Scene Change: The Chaotix's office.]

[The sun is just beginning to rise.]
Vector: Ahh, today's the say we solve the case.
Espio: Oh yeah? What makes you so sure?
Charmy: Espio's right. What makes you think you can solve it today, Vector?
[Vector chuckles and turns around, then back to the others. He is now wearing a pair of glasses.]
Vector: Elementary, my dear Charmy. It just takes some clever sleuthing. I'm Detective Vector!
Espio: Sure you're Detective Vector. You're also nuts.
Charmy: I think he's been reading too many detective stories again...
Vector: Ahh... That's very interesting. [Wags finger]
Espio: Here he goes again...
Charmy: Oh, brother...
[Vector now dons a detective's jacket.]
Vector: One more t'ing.
Espio: How long are you gonna keep this up, anyway?
[He leans in Vector's face.]
Vector: All right. The kid we're lookin' for got sent into this world from ours by Chaos Control, just like Sonic. And I think the hedgehog's behind it.
Espio: And you know that for a fact.
Vector: I got my intuition, and that's good enough for me.
Charmy: You got a hunch, Vector?
Vector: I told you before, Charmy; it's not a hunch, it's intuition! With a capital "Int!" [Laughs]

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Outside]

[The Chaotix are now outside the mansion. Vector peers through the window through a pair of binoculars and sees Cream interacting with Cheese.]
Vector: Uh-huh. Bingo. See what I mean. The ol' intuition never fails.
Espio: I have to hand it to you. It didn't take you long to find that hedgehog's hideaway.
Charmy: He had some help. It was listed on this map of stars' homes.
Espio: You mean a star lives here?
Vector: From what I dug up, Sonic's been layin' low with this kid whose mom's a real live big-time movie celeb.
Espio: Bah.
Vector: Sure, leave it to Sonic to mingle with a bunch of mental movie people. So shallow.
Charmy: You're jealous?
Vector: You bet. ... Who asked you, Charmy?!
Charmy: Hahaha, I got you that time, didn't I?
Vector: Never mind that. Let's get back to the job at hand. We got ourselves a damsel in distress to rescue here!
Espio: Well, at least we know where she is. Now all you have to do is figure out some way to get into that house.
[Charmy is now looking through the binoculars.]
Vector: That's right, pal! But it's gonna be kinda tricky. They probably got lots of fancy-shmancy security equipment.
Charmy: Here, take a look! A big scary security guard!
[Vector takes the binoculars from Charmy and looks through them. He sees Ella in the window behind Cream.]
Vector: Ahh! Check out the beast in the ruffly apron!
[Just then Ella glances in their direction. Vectoe pushes Espio and Charmy down into the bushes.]
Charmy: What do we do?! Should we run for it?!
Vector: Are you crazy? We can;t turn back!
Espio: Don't forget: we're here on a mission.

[Scene Change: Station Square]

[Sonic stops running when he sees Eggman on a cliff outside of the city. He is overlooking the city, and his Eggmobile is next to him.]
Sonic: Eggman!
Dr. Eggman: Sonic. Well, well. It's a beautiful afternoon, isn't it?

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Outside]

[Using his invisibility, Espio appears outside the living room window. Charmy waves.]
Vector: Atta boy. I should have known with those nifty ninja tricks of his, he could sneak with the best of 'em!

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Living room]

[Amy is upset that Sonic has still not returned. The others are resting on the couch.]
Amy: Where is he? He told me he'd be back today at noon sharp.
Tails: Must have lost track of time.
[Amy draws her hammer and swings it back and forth.]
Amy: Oh yeah? Well, this is the last time he's gonna keep me waiting!
Chris: [Uncomfortable] Amy...
[Suddenly Amy's hammer strikes the invisible Espio outside the window.]
Amy: Uh-oh. It feels like I just hit something.

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Outside]

[The inside sends Espio flying into the branches of a tree. He becomes visible and falls out of the tree.]
Vector: Hey, you okay?
[Espio groans in pain.]
Espio: I... think so... But she sure can swing a mean mallet.
[Vector picks up Espio.]
Charmy: Poor Espio...
Vector: Sly, aren't they?
Charmy: What'cha gonna do?
Vector: Just you wait, Charmy! We'll give them a fight they'll never forget!
Charmy: [Excited] All right! [Laughs]

[Scene Change: Station Square - The cliff]

Sonic: You're in a good mood all of a sudden. What are you up to, Egghead?
Dr. Eggman: Nothing. I've simply had a change of heart. I know it may surprise you, Sonic, but even egg-centric geniuses like myself have hearts.
Sonic: That so?
Dr. Eggman: I kid you not. It isn't easy being an evil madman. It's hard work.
Sonic: I don't buy it.
Dr. Eggman: I really mean it, Sonic. Building evil robots to do my bidding... creating a Chaos creature just for kicks... Sometimes I think, "What's the point?" Maybe I should just chuck it and retire somewhere far, far away.
Sonic: You might have something there, Eggman.
Dr. Eggman: [Chuckles] Can't you just see it, Sonic? Goodbye world domination, hello shuffleboard.
[Sonic briefly closes his eyes.]
Sonic: Hey, are you on the level here, or is this just another one of your schemes?
[A figure appears behind them.]
Vanilla: [Off-screen] Excuse me...
[Sonic turns around and immediately recognizes the figure.]
Sonic: It can't be...

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Living room]

[Vector and Charmy are now in the living room.]
Tails: What do you weirdos want?
Vector: You know what we want! Drop the innocent act, kiddo.
Charmy: Give up!
Tails: I don't know what you're talking about.
Chris: Tails, do you know these two?
[Tails shakes his head.]
Tails: I've never seem them before in my life, Chris.
Vector: Quit your stallin', will ya? Now hand over that little bunny or else!
Charmy: Yeah! Or else!
Cream: Sorry, sir, but where would you take me?
Cheese: Ch-chao!
Ella: You don't think we'd let them take you!
Cream: Just asking.
Vector: Whaaah! There's the bodyguard monster!
[He picks up Charmy and aims his stinger at the group.]
Vector: We'll get you! Charmy, get ready!
Charmy: Wha... Uh...
Amy: All right, you creeps! You asked for it!
[Then the fight begins. Espio is shown to have a sizable bruise on his head.]
Everyone: (Take that!)
[Just then Sonic enters the room.]
Sonic: What's going on here?
[Tails pokes his head out of the fight cloud.]
Tails: Sonic, help us! We're being attacked!
[But Vector shoves him back.]
Vector: Well, looks who's here! If it ain't Sonic the kidnapper!
Sonic: I'm no kidnapper, pal!
[Then the mystery figure appears in the doorway. She is Vanilla the Rabbit, Cream's mother.]
Vector: It's... It's you!
Vanilla: How nice to see you again, Detective.
Sonic: Hey look, Cream. Someone's here to see ya.
[Cream turns around and sees who it is.]
Vanilla: I've finally found... my baby!
[Cream is overwhelmed.]
Cream: Mo... M... Mo...
[They embrace in a big hug.]
Vanilla: Oh, my baby!
[The others watch the joyful reunion.]
Chris: [To Sonic] Cream's mother.
[They glance at each other.]
Vanilla: How can I ever repay you, Detective Vector?
Vector: Aww, no sweat.
Vanilla: And thank you, Sonic, for taking such good care of my little girl. I'm so grateful!
Vector: Uh... Grateful? But...
Charmy: What did Sonic do?
Sonic: You remember me, Vector. I'm Sonic the kidnapper.
Vector: Hey, my old pal Sonic! Fancy meeting you here! [To Charmy] Come on, Charmy. We don't want to be late for our next job, do we?
Sonic: What's the big rush, Vector? Stick around, why don'cha?
Amy: Yeah. We were just getting into the swing of things.
Vector: Thanks anyway, but time's a-wasting, and I'm busy!
Sonic: I detect a little uneasiness, Detective.
[Everyone laughs.]

[Scene Change: Station Square]

[Eggman is hovering high above the city in his Eggmobile.]
Dr. Eggman: [Chuckles] Hey... Sounds like quite the party. Laugh while you can, Sonic, you sucker.
[He flies away.]

[Scene Change: Thorndyke Mansion - Outside]

[Espio is still feeling the pain from Amy's hammer.]
Espio: Hey, you guys... Help me out here, will ya?
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