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Sonic Boom
Cowbot (transcript)

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This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Cowbot".

[Scene: Seaside Island, beach, day.]

[Knuckles is stretching because he and Sonic are playing coconut hurl. Tails is talking into a pretend microphone made of a pinecone on a stick.]
Tails: It all comes down to this final toss for the young echidna from Angel Island. He'll need a score of four to take the championship.
[Knuckles grabs Sonic and starts swinging him around.]
Tails: Can he do it? Can he score a four? The crowd is on their feet!
Amy: Can you get on with it already?
[Knuckles throws Sonic and knocks three coconuts out of the tree.]
Tails: Denied! Three coconuts is not quite four.
Sticks: Look!
[A fourth coconut falls and hits Amy on the head.]
Amy: Ow!
[Sonic and Knuckles laugh]
Tails: They've done it! They've achieved the impossible! The team of Knuckles and Sonic has bested the team of Sonic and Knuckles!
Amy: Wait a minute. You were playing against yourselves?
Knuckles: No! Weren't you listening? We beat Sonic and Knuckles. Ha! In your face, Sonic and Knuckles!
[As a giant black storm cloud comes with a sunrise, Dr. Eggman arrives from the cloud.]
Dr. Eggman: Behold, rodents! Prepare to face the most fearsome destructive force ever to grace this, or any other world.
[Eggman lifts his arm towards the storm cloud he came from and poses awkwardly. Cut to Sonic and co. who all stare at Eggman and the cloud.]
Dr. Eggman: It'll be just a minute. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves.
[Eggman again lifts his arm towards the storm's direction, taking his pose again. Cut to Sonic and co. still staring continuously.]'
Dr. Eggman: Your doom is coming, I assure you!
[Eggman once more lifts his arm toward’s the storm’s direction. More silence. Cut to Sonic and Knuckles, who appear to be getting impatient. A cow’s moo is then heard.]
Dr. Eggman: Ahh, here it is now! This. Is. Cowbot!
[Zoom into the storm cloud, showing a close up of a robot cow, making its way towards the beach. It then lands in front of Team Sonic.]
Amy: It's a cow.
Dr. Eggman: It's a cow-bot.
[Team Sonic suddenly bursts out laughing.]
Dr. Eggman: What's so funny?
Sonic: Cowbot? That has to be the lamest thing you've ever come up with.
Dr. Eggman: Not true. There was Spoonbot, Crybot, Mathbot, ooh, and who can forget Lamebot? Wait, what am I saying?
Sonic: Yeah...
Amy: Forgot about that one.
Sticks: My breakfast is plotting to kill me...
[Sudden silence as Team Sonic suddenly looks at Sticks, who immediately notices them looking at her. Cut to Eggman’s face, who has an alert on his wrist controller go off.]
Dr. Eggman: Ooh! Time to move my laundry to the dryer. I'll leave you with Cowbot's capable hooves.
[Eggman then turns away to go back to his lair.]
Sonic: Okay guys, let's destroy this thing so we can get back to coconut hurl.
[Eggman suddenly stops his Eggmobile and turns around.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh, did I mention that Cowbot is filled with Mootonium? A pun-based radioactive compound? If you destroy him, he'll vaporize everything in a 20-mile radius. Toodles!
[Eggman turns back around to return to his lair. Cowbot suddenly shoots a missile toward Team Sonic, but it hits the ground in front of them, making a small explosion.]
Sticks: He's firing crud missiles!
[Team Sonic run away from Cowbot, who continues to fire missiles at the group. The team hides behind some bushes, and a missile from Cowbot hits a coconut tree, dropping five coconuts on the ground. Knuckles suddenly appears from behind the bushes.]
Knuckles: [Crying] MY RECORD!
Amy: If we can't smash that thing, what can we do?
Tails: Looks like there's an access panel on top.
[Cut to Cowbot, zooming into its access panel. Cut back to Tails.]
Tails: If I can get to it, maybe I can reprogram Cowbot.
Knuckles: Time to tip this cow!
Sonic: I'll distract him!
[Sonic runs past Cowbot, the latter noticing and shooting more missiles at him. Meanwhile, Tails, Amy, Knuckles, and Sticks got to Cowbot.]
Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks: One…
[They all prepare to push Cowbot on his side. Cut to Sonic, who is continuing to distract Cowbot. A missile almost hits him, making him nearly lose his balance.]
Sonic: Any day now guys!
Tails, Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks: Two...
[More pushing. A missile from Cowbot makes Sonic fall over and slide on the ground, getting sand into his mouth. The latter immediately spits it out.]
Tails, Amy, and Sticks: Three!
Knuckles: Four, uh, I mean three!
[Team Sonic successfully pushes Cowbot on its side, rendering it unable to move. Tails flies up to the access panel, opens it, and proceeds to work on Cowbot. It suddenly is enveloped by electricity and milk suddenly comes from Cowbot’s “utters”. Knuckles, Amy, and Sticks manage to dodge it before it hits them.]
Tails: That should do it!
[Cowbot’s eyes suddenly turn red, and it tries to get back on its feet.]
Tails: Or not...
[Cowbot stands back up, making a loud moo before flying away in a different direction toward the ocean.]
Sonic: Uhh, Tails. What's going on?
Tails: Not sure. It's original programming was to destroy Sonic, so since I reversed it...
Sonic: It's going after Eggman! Classic!
Amy: No, it's not classic. It's awful! That thing's a killing machine and if it explodes, no more Eggman!
Knuckles: And on laundry day? Not cool Sonic!
Sonic: Ugh, fine. I'll go warn him. Tails, you're coming with me, and bring your science stuff.
Tails: You got it Sonic!
Knuckles: And while you're there, ask him how he gets out grass stains. His whites are always so white.

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Sonic and Tails arrive at the lair in Tails' Plane. The plane lands near the lair.]
Sonic: Tails, wait here. Who knows what kind of crazy defenses Eggman has.
[Sonic jumps off the plane and sneaks towards the lair. Eventually, he knocks on the lair door, but nobody responds.]
Sonic: Huh, nothing. You think you know a villain...
[As Sonic begins to walk back, Eggman opens the door, wearing his onesie.]
Dr. Eggman: Oh. I wasn't expecting company.
Sonic: [Low voice] Yeah, I figured that out. [Normally] Uh, don't you have some kind of defense system... And pants?
Dr. Eggman: Funny story. I use parts from my defense system to make the Cowbot I sent to destroy you. How'd that work out by the way?
Sonic: Tails reprogrammed it and now it's on the way here to destroy you instead. So, good luck with all that. [Waves and walks back] Toodles.
Dr. Eggman: But you can't just leave me here without my defenses. I'd be... Uh... What's the word?
Sonic: Defenseless?
Tails: Do you need us to bring your defense systems back online?
Dr. Eggman: Nah, I'm good, unless you've activated Cowbot's stage two directive, then my defenses will be useless.
Sonic: That's not that whole red eyes thingy, is it?
Dr. Eggman: Yeah. How did you know?
Sonic: Lucky guess?

[Scene Change: Inside Eggman's Lair, HQ room.]

[Tails is sitting at Eggman's console.]
Tails: The only way to stop Cowbot is to upgrade Eggman's defense system.
Dr. Eggman: You'd do that for me? After all the terrible - yet totally justified - things I've tried to do to you?
Sonic: A good thing I told you to bring your science stuff, huh, Tails? You start working on Eggman's defenses, I'll gather up parts. And Eggman [Glumly] Put on some pants.
[A montage plays. Tails is working on a circuit board. Eggman works on a freeze ray. Sonic makes himself a chili dog. A door opens and a Motobug comes charging into the room. Eggman fires his finished freeze ray, freezing the robot next to Sonic and Tails, who looks at each other satisfied.]

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Sonic pushes a machine outside. Eggman presses a button on a remote control, deploying some drones. Eggman presses a button on his remote control, making the drones form a force field around the lair. Sonic, however, discovers a chili dog outside the force field, and has Eggman turn the force field off so that he can retrieve it. After Sonic returns, eating the chili dog, Eggman turns the force field back on. The camera cuts to Cowbot, appearing high in the sky. The camera then cuts to Sonic, Tails and Eggman.]
Sonic: Okay. When Cowbot comes in range, Eggman will lower the force field. I'll zap Cowbot with the freeze ray, and Tails, you fly over and disarm it.
[The trio put their hands together.]
Sonic: All right.
[The trio raise their hands]
Sonic: Let's rock! Haha!
[The trio assume their fighting stances.]
Tails: Let's butcher this bovine!
[After a brief pause the trio drop their arms in boredom.]
Sonic: I think we have some time.
Dr. Eggman: You want to go inside? I got cocoa.

[Scene Change: Inside Eggman's Lair, living room.]

[Tails drinks the cocoa]
Tails: That is some interesting cocoa.
Dr. Eggman: Wanna guess my secret ingredient?
Sonic: If he says love, I'm out of here.
Tails: Hmm... Is it nutmeg?
Dr. Eggman: Close. It's actually a tablespoon of garlic powder.
Tails: That explains the texture.
[Sonic is about to put his cup down on the table, but Eggman notices and puts a coaster underneath the cup.]
Dr. Eggman: Whoa whoa whoa. Coaster? What? Were you raised in a barn?
[Sonic eats a cookie. Just as he does so, Eggman turns on a blowdryer, sucking up the crumbs on Sonic's scarf. Sonic reacts in disgust.]
Dr. Eggman: Wanna guess the secret ingredient?
Sonic: Garlic?
Dr. Eggman: Nope. Love! Just kidding, it's garlic.
Sonic: I though he was annoying when he was just trying to destroy us.

[Scene Change: Inside Eggman's Lair, living room.]

[Sonic, Tails and Eggman are watching TV.]
Dr. Eggman: Don't go in there, it's a trap! [Screaming is heard on the TV] Can you believe she went in there?
Sonic: [Miserably] Yeah, and after you warned her and everything.

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Sonic, Tails and Eggman are still waiting for Cowbot.]
Dr. Eggman: [Sighs] So what do you guys do for fun?

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, day.]

Tails: [Holding a pinecone as a microphone whispering] Here we are at the coconut hurl Grand Championship. Sonic the Hedgehog will be tossing his arch-rival Dr. Eggman. Let's join the game already in progress.
[Sonic tries to lift Eggman, but fails.]
Tails: Oh! That's going to be a penalty.

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, day.]

[The trio sit and wait for Cowbot.]
Dr. Eggman: Hey. I got an idea!

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, day.]

[Sonic tosses Eggman with a catapult. Eggman bumps into a potted palm tree, causing a large number of coconuts to drop on him.]
Tails: [Back on the pinecone] They've done it! A new record!
[Crowds cheering is played in the background as Eggman and Sonic give a high five.]

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, evening.]

[The trio sit watch the sunset.]

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, night.]

[The trio sit around a campfire]
Sonic: We've been up forever. When is Cowbot gonna get here?
Dr. Eggman: [Sighs] You're so impatient, Sonic. Sometimes you got to slow down and enjoy life. Here, have a roasted marshmallow.
[Sonic takes the stick of marshmallow off Eggman and tastes it]
Sonic: [Muffled] Mmm... Sticky, but good.
Tails: Really good.
Dr. Eggman: I never get to do stuff like this with Orbot and Cubot. Marshmallows always gunk up their circuitry.
Sonic: [Glumly] Yeah, that's the problem with having no real friends.
Dr. Eggman: Yeah... Hey, you know who I hate? That Dave the Intern. Am I right, eh?
Sonic: You know, I never gave him that much thought.
Tails: Are there any more marshmallows?
Dr. Eggman: Hey, Sonic. Bro to bro. What's up with you and Amy?
[Sonic looks surprised.]

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, sunrise.]

[The trio are seen fast asleep. Rumbling is felt as Eggman stretches and wakes up. The camera cuts to Cowbot, firing pellets at the force field. Eggman panics.]
Dr. Eggman: Wake up! Wake up!
[Sonic and Tails get up.]
Tails: Engage all defense systems!
Dr. Eggman: Turning off the force field!
[Eggman presses a button on his remote control with his marshmallow-covered finger. The remote control fizzles and a few holes in the force field open.]
Dr. Eggman: Uh, I'm having some trouble here.
[Sonic tries to control the freeze ray, but cannot, as his hands are covered in marshmallow gunk.]
Sonic: This thing's all gunked up. My hands are sticky from the marshmallows!
Dr. Eggman: It's game over, man. Game over!
[Tails looks at his hands which are also covered in marshmallow.]
Tails: Marshmallow! If they gunk up our machinery, they'll gunk up Cowbot's too!
Sonic: But how are we gonna reach the access panel?
[A catapult is set up with Sonic on it and Eggman about to toss him.]
Sonic: Ready. Aim. Fire!
[Eggman launches the catapult, launching Sonic, who is holding a bucket of marshmallow, into the air. However, Sonic misses Cowbot and hits the force field instead, causing him to fall down on the ground.]
Sonic: [Fed up] I said, aim!
Dr. Eggman: Oh, was that meant for me?
[Sonic sits in the catapult once more with a bucket of marshmallow.]
Sonic: Ready. [Slowly looks at Eggman] Aim. Fire.
[Eggman releases the catapult again. Sonic flies through the hole in the force field and lands on Cowbot. Sonic opens up the access panel and pours marshmallow into Cowbot. Cowbot malfunctions and breaks down. Sonic jumps back inside the force field. Cowbot crashes on the island and shuts down.]
Dr. Eggman: It worked!
Tails: That's the beauty of teamwork.
Dr. Eggman: Not teamwork, my master plan. I tricked you into helping me upgrade my security system. Now, I can use your own tech against you.
Sonic: Oh. So that's how it's gonna be, huh?
[Sonic, with a bucket of marshmallow, runs around Eggman's lair and pours marshmallow over Eggman's various equipment and new machines that he made with Sonic and Tails' aid, short-circuiting them. The force field de-activates.]
Dr. Eggman: I really need to stop doing that thing where I gloat and explain exactly what you need to do to stop me.
Sonic: [Clapping his hands] Our work here is done. Come on, Tails.
[Sonic and Tails walk off. Meanwhile, the lair door opens with Orbot and Cubot showing up.]
Orbot: Dr. Eggman, may we come out now?
Dr. Eggman: No!
[Both Orbot and Cubot discover marshmallows on the ground]
Cubot: Ooh, marshmallows!
[Orbot and Cubot eat the marshmallows and instantly break down as the screen fades to black.]