Chili Dog Day Afternoon/Transcript

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Sonic Boom Chili Dog Day Afternoon (Transcript)

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[Scene: Village, day]

Amy: Building takes teamwork, and a team needs a coach, and that's me! Sonic, hold that support strut horizontal.

Sonic: Since I'm the judge of this year's chili dog cookoff, I don't think I should help. I have to stay impartial.

Amy: No stage, no contest. No contest, no chili dogs to judge.

Sonic: Tails, Knuckles, get to it. [They catapult Sonic into Amy.]

Amy: I don't have time for this. I need Tails to prep the collar planks, and Knuckles to get the joist hangers, and Sticks to get more sticks.

Tails: Ta-da! [the stage is now complete]

Knuckles: Thanks for keeping Amy busy so we could finish.

Sonic: Anything for a free chibi dog.

Amy: [notices that there is a banana sticking out of the stage] What's that?

Tails: Don't! That's a load-bearing banana.

[She pulls the banana out, and the stage collapses.]

Amy: Who builds with a banana?

Knuckles: Only a total dumb-dumb. [takes a bite out of a plank] Bananas give me splinters in my gums.

Amy: That's it. I'll build the stage myself.

[Later, the stage is complete.]

Amy: Ha! And that, my friends, is a stage. Guys?

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day]

Tails: [to Knuckles] If you win, I'll wear the trophy upside down on my head like a hat for a year.

Knuckles: No way! My trophy, my hat.

Sonic: No. Knuckles, I think he's trying to ... [sighs] just wear the hat.

Dave: Eat 'em and weep, losers. I'm winning this year's cookoff with my super-secret chili recipe.

Sonic: [takes a bite] Ketchup, wasabi, and chunks of expired pigeon meat.

Dave: Lucky guess.

Amy: [walks up and sits with them] I finished the stage. Praise me.

Sonic: Thanks, Amy.

Knuckles: Nice job.

Sticks: Can it be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing? [they stare] We'll see who's staring when that thing lands in the ocean!

Knuckles: We don't need a judging stage. I've got the contest in the bag. [places a small wooden box on the table]

Tails: I thought you said it was in the bag.

Knuckles: [opens the box, revealing a blue drawstring bag] Yeah, who am the smart one now? That's a rhetorical question, by the way. The answer is, of course, me am. [pulls a smaller box out of the bag and opens it, revealing an orange and black striped pepper] My secret weapon. A one-of-a-kind pepper.

[They sigh.]

[Scene change: Village, day]

[An elderly wolf is shown selling peppers.]

Wolf: One-of-a-kind peppers! Get your one-of-a-kind peppers.

[Sticks clears her throat; Sticks, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles are holding identical peppers. Sonic is eating a chili dog.]

Sticks: You told us dese were one-of-a-kind peppers.

Wolf: I never said they were one-of-a-kind peppers.

Mike: [walks up, carrying a crate] Here's another crate of those peppers you're selling as "one-of-a-kind". [he trips and spills the peppers; they are all the same kind] Ah, don't even worry about it. I got another 20 crates on the truck.

Wolf: Well, that was poorly timed. I suppose you want a refund. I'll just get your money. I keep it in a place called... tough luck, losers!

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