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Sonic Boom
Chili Dog Day Afternoon (Transcript)

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This is the transcript for the Sonic Boom episode, "Chili Dog Day Afternoon."

[Scene: Village, day]

Amy: Building takes teamwork, and a team needs a coach, and that's me! Sonic, hold that support strut horizontal.
Sonic: Since I'm the judge of this year's chili dog cookoff, I don't think I should help. I have to stay impartial.
Amy: No stage, no contest. No contest, no chili dogs to judge.
Sonic: Tails, Knuckles, get to it. [They catapult Sonic into Amy.]
Amy: I don't have time for this. I need Tails to prep the collar planks, and Knuckles to get the joist hangers, and Sticks to get more sticks.
Tails: Ta-da! [the stage is now complete]
Knuckles: Thanks for keeping Amy busy so we could finish.
Sonic: Anything for a free chili dog.
Amy: [notices that there is a banana sticking out of the stage] What's that?
Tails: Don't! That's a load-bearing banana.
[She pulls the banana out, and the stage collapses.]
Amy: Who builds with a banana?
Knuckles: Only a total dumb-dumb. [takes a bite out of a plank] Bananas give me splinters in my gums.
Amy: That's it. I'll build the stage myself. [Later, the stage is complete.] Ha! And that, my friends, is a stage. Guys?

[Scene change: Meh Burger, day]

Tails: [to Knuckles] If you win, I'll wear the trophy upside down on my head like a hat for a year.
Knuckles: No way! My trophy, my hat.
Sonic: No. Knuckles, I think he's trying to ... [sighs] just wear the hat.
Dave: Eat 'em and weep, losers. I'm winning this year's cookoff with my super-secret chili recipe.
Sonic: [takes a bite] Ketchup, wasabi, and chunks of expired pigeon meat.
Dave: Lucky guess.
Amy: [walks up and sits with them] I finished the stage. Praise me.
Sonic: Thanks, Amy.
Knuckles: Nice job.
Sticks: Can it be used as a flotation device in the event of a water landing? [the group stare] We'll see who's staring when that thing lands in the ocean!
Knuckles: We don't need a judging stage. I've got the contest in the bag. [places a small wooden box on the table]
Tails: I thought you said it was in the bag.
Knuckles: [opens the box, revealing a blue drawstring bag] Yeah, who am the smart one now? That's a rhetorical question, by the way. The answer is, of course, me am. [pulls a smaller box out of the bag and opens it, revealing an orange and black striped pepper] My secret weapon. A one-of-a-kind pepper.
[They sigh.]

[Scene change: Village, day]

[Mrs. Vandersnout is shown selling peppers.]
Mrs. Vandersnout: One-of-a-kind peppers! Get your one-of-a-kind peppers.
[Sticks clears her throat; Sticks, Amy, Tails, and Knuckles are holding identical peppers. Sonic is eating a chili dog.]
Sticks: You told us these were one-of-a-kind peppers.
Mrs. Vandersnout: I never said they were one-of-a-kind peppers.
Delivery ox: [walks up, carrying a crate] Here's another crate of those peppers you're selling as "one-of-a-kind". [he trips and spills the peppers; they are all the same kind] Ah, don't even worry about it. I got another 20 crates on the truck.
Mrs. Vandersnout: Well, that was poorly timed. I suppose you want a refund. I'll just get your money. I keep it in a place called... tough luck, losers!
[Mrs. Vandersnout quickly hops into her cart and drives away. However, she crashes into the stage destroying it and overturning her cart.]
Mrs. Vandersnout: Can one of you dears help a poor little old lady?
[Team Sonic glare angrily at Mrs. Vandersnout.]
Team Sonic: NO!
Mrs. Vandersnout: I deserve that.
Knuckles: If I'm gonna win that hat, I gotta go find a unique pepper! [Dashes away.]

[Scene change: Forest, day]

[Knuckles is searching the forest, when he sees plant with a small red pepper growing on it. He picks it and takes a bite out of it. The pepper is to hot for him, and his eyes turn red. He starts sweating, then topples over and passes out.]

[Scene change: Village, day]

[The rest of Team Sonic are stirring chili using pots on the stage (which has apparently been rebuilt). Knuckles walks up.]
Knuckles: [Holds up the red pepper he found in the forest.] I have found the pepper of peppers! Hot, with an indescribable flavor. You might as well stop stirring now.
[Dr. Eggman appears, along with Orbot and Cubot.]
Dr. Eggman: [Holds up a glowing red pepper] Not so fast! Behold, the Facepeeler Maximus! Witness now... [Eggman stops abruptly. To Orbot.] Line?
Orbot: [Quietly] If you dare...
Dr. Eggman: Witness now, if you dare, the Chili Maker 5000!
[Eggman puts the Chili Maker 5000 down on the table.]
Cubot: Copyright Eggman Industries, patent pending, all rights reserved, some restrictions apply.
Dr. Eggman: This little beauty extracts the very essence of the chili pepper, creating a chili dog of unprecedented potency!
[Orbot pulls out a kazoo, plays two notes on it, and launches a small burst of confetti. Eggman opens the top of the Chili Maker 5000, breaks the Facepeeler Maximus in half, drops it in, and closes the lid. It starts mixing. Soon a single drop of chili sauce comes out, and as soon as it touches the bowl, it bursts into flames.]
Knuckles: [defeated] Ugh... [Throws his pepper to the ground.]
Mrs. Vandersnout: [Pokes out from behind a tree.] Psst!
[Knuckles walks over to her.]
Mrs. Vandersnout: If you want to win this thing, you need the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn.
Knuckles: Well, hand it over!
Mrs. Vandersnout: [annoyed] What part of "the lost" didn't you get? Luckily, I've got this one-of-a-kind map! [Pulls out a parchment.]
Knuckles: Woo-hoo!
[Knuckles grabs the map. Mrs. Vandersnout holds out her hand, and Knuckles drops three coins into it, before running off.]
Delivery ox: [walks up, carrying another crate.] Where do you want this crate of "One-of-a-kind maps"?
Mrs. Vandersnout: Put them with the others. [She points to her left where there are several other crates of maps stacked up next to her cart.]

[Scene Change: Cliff, day.]

[Knuckles is climbing up the cliff, and is almost at the top.]
Knuckles: Almost...there.... [He tries climbing onto a rocky ledge, but it breaks, sending him sliding down the cliff on top of part of it. He screams.] Aauggh! [He tilts sideways, dodging a rock and a bush. Knuckles looks in front of him and sees a huge chasm which he is is heading right towards. Fortunately, the slab stops sliding right before the edge of the chasm.]
Knuckles: [Relieved.] Whew! [He looks downwards into the chasm, then looks back up.] Awesome! I gotta do that again! [dashes off.]

[Scene Change: Staircase of Terrifying Slipperiness, day.]

Knuckles: [Reading the map] The Staircase of Terrifying Slipperiness... [Knuckles tries to run up the stairs, but slips on the fourth step and falls back down. He tries three more times, but keeps falling back down.]
Knuckles: [angry] Grrr! [Knuckles scales the stairs by using his fists to climb upwards, grunting all the while. He shortly makes it to the top.]
Knuckles: [Reading the map] The Field of Baby Ducks.... [Walks forward.]

[Scene Change: Field of Baby Ducks, day.]

Knuckles: [Sees a mechanical duck.] Hey, little fella! [The mechanical duck looks at him.] Gosh, you're cute! [Knuckles reaches for the duck, but as soon as he touches it, it explodes. Knuckles now has scorch marks on him, but he gets up and walks onward.]
Knuckles: [Sees another duck] Well, look at you! You're- [He picks up the duck, and it also explodes on him. He shakes his head rapidly.] Bwrrrr.... [He sees yet another duck.] Look at you- [It also explodes. He shakes his head rapidly again.] Bwrrrr.... [He sees yet another duck.] Hi! Look at yo- [Like all the others, the duck explodes. He shakes his head rapidly yet again.] Bwrrrr.... [He sees yet another duck.] Hey little fella- [The duck explodes. He shakes his head rapidly yet again.] Bwrrrr.... [He sees yet another duck.] Well, look at- [The duck explodes. Knuckles is soon seen walking through the field, with several craters from the ducks behind him.] Fool me once, shame on you, fool me 87 times, shame on me. [Knuckles holds up another mechanical duck. It explodes.]

[Scene Change: Forest, day.]

[Knuckles grunts, jumps out of a group of bushes, sees a speaker on a post with a button below it, and howls loudly. He then presses the button.]
Speaker: Congratulations, you have successfully traversed the Lands of the Doomed! And so, sit back in your very own recliner... [A recliner glides up behind Knuckles, and he sits down in it.]....of the Doomed! [The recliner glides away at high speed, and locks him in with arm clamps. A flying cream pie hits Knuckles in the face.]
Knuckles: [Sees a mechanical duck flying towards him.] Hey, little- [The duck collides with him, and explodes. Knuckles looks forward, and the recliner drives off a cliff.]

[Scene Change: Cliff, day.]

Knuckles: [Screaming] Ahhhhhggg! [The recliner breaks apart in midair, and Knuckles careens downwards into the cliff. He hits the ground hard, and everything goes dark. Knuckles is shown in a first-person view, slowly opening his eyes. He blinks once, before realizing he has been tied down with ropes. Knuckles grunts and tries to break free of the ropes, to no avail.] What is this? Let me go!
Voice: What is it that 'ya seek?
Knuckles: I seek the lost Pepper of Claggerhorn!
Voice: Why do 'ya seek it?
Knuckles: To roast over an open flame, to tear the seeds from it insides, chop it into tiny pieces, scald it in boiling oil, and use it to flavor my Chili Francisco, and win a very small trophy...
[The voice is revealed to be the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn, who has several other pepper warriors with him.]
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: I am the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn! [The lost Pepper of Claggerhorn stands on Knuckles chest.]
Knuckles: Let me finish.... Is the opposite of what I would do!
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: [Quietly] Nice recovery, laddie.
Knuckles: Dude, what's with your head bite? [All the peppers except the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn gasp. The Lost Pepper gestures for them to stop.]
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: 'Tis a scar I wear proudly, to remind me of the home we lost.
Knuckles: What's happening?
[Several sections of Seaside Island are shown, corresponding to the areas to the Lost Pepper mentions]
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: It's just a dissolve, son. Claggerhorn was a paradise, lush green meadows, majestic mountains, and the hot springs, laddie... It was prophesied that a big dumb oaf would come one day to lead us back to our beloved hot springs...
Knuckles: What were they like?
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: They were hot.
Knuckles: Didn't see that coming.
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: [Cheering] We have found our oaf! [The other peppers start chanting the word "Oaf" repeatedly.]
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: The time has come, 'me pepper people. We must reclaim our land for our children, and our children's children! Are 'ya with me?!
Pepper Warriors and Knuckles: YES! [Knuckles raises his hand, accidentally breaking one of the ropes tying him down.]
Knuckles: Oh. Haha, sorry. [Puts his hand back under the snapped rope. All the other peppers continue chanting "Oaf"]

[Scene change: Village, day]

[The rest of Team Sonic, (aside from Sonic, who is the judge.) along with Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot are shown making chili on the stage. several other villagers are seen stirring chili nearby. Sonic inspects each pot. Eggman starts of his Chili Maker 5000, but it starts to sputter and smoke.]
Knuckles: [Screaming] Yaaaahh! [Knuckles charges forward, dressed in Scottish attire, with two peppers on each shoulder, and the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn on his head.]
[Team Sonic looks confused]
Sonic: Well. There's something you don't see every day.
[Knuckles tosses a pepper warrior at the stage]
Pepper warrior: Weeeee! Uh, I mean, Never surrender! [Draws his sword.]
[Knuckles tosses another pepper warrior. It hits Tails, knocking him down. He then launches another one at Sticks, but she blocks it with her spoon. It ricochets off and hits Eggman's Chili Maker 5000, which rockets into the air. It lands on the stage and explodes, sending the stage and everyone on it flying. It lands in a body of water. ]
Sticks: It can be used as a flotation device!
[Two pepper warriors are seen flying towards Eggman, Orbot, and Cubot.]
Pepper warriors: Yaaaah! [They both latch onto Eggman's chest and start attacking him.]
Dr. Eggman: [Angry] Ow! Orbot! Cubot! Deal with these pests!
Cubot: You got it, boss! [Orbot and Cubot try to punch the peppers, but only hit Eggman instead.]
Dr. Eggman: Ow! Ow!
[Knuckles launches three peppers at Sonic. He is shown dodging them all in slow-motion.]
Sonic: Knuckles, what are you doing? [Dashes off]
Knuckles: [Launches another pepper.] Helping these pepper people reclaim what is rightfully theirs!
Sonic: [Runs towards Knuckles.] By attacking your friends?!
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: You're gonna have to choose, laddie, between old friends and new. FOR CLAGGERHORN! [He jumps off Knuckles head at Sonic, with his sword drawn. Sonic and the Lost Pepper are shown charging at each other in slow motion. Knuckles finally makes his choice, and grabs a pot lid, and uses it as a shield to block the Lost Pepper from attacking Sonic. He bounces off the lid, and lands in a soup pot which Tails and Amy are both standing next to.]
Tails and Amy: [Gasp]
Knuckles: [Throws the pot lid away. He and Sonic run towards the pot.] Lost Pepper, you okay?
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: [The Lost Pepper is floating in the pot.] 'Tis like a thousand tiny bubbles, urging me to let go. Like the hot springs of old. But with expired pigeon meat.
Dave the Intern: [Angry] Does everyone know my secret recipe?
[Later, Team Sonic are the village, with all members except Sonic stirring chili. All of their pots have pepper warriors bathing in them, except for Knuckles', which has the Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn in it.]
Amy: [Takes her spoon out of her pot.] This is perfect! The Pepper People get to take a good hot soak, and in turn they flavor our chili! It's a win-win!
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: [Bathing in Knuckles' pot, holding a small cup.] Soo... What is it you do with this chili? Pour it on your enemies from the turrets of your castles? Scald them into submission? [Fills his cup with chili, and takes a drink.]
Sonic: Are you kidding? We put it on hot dogs, and we eat you-uh-it. I mean it.
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: [Angry] By all that is chunky in my grandfathers beard, YOU WANT TO EAT OUR ESSENCE?! [Draws his sword] TRUCE OVER, ATTAAAAA- [Sonic stuffs a bite of chili dog in his mouth. He eats it, then sheaths his sword.] 'Tis like the world's finest carcass. But without the wretched taste of mixed lungs.
Sonic: [Puts some of Knuckles' chili on his hot dog, then takes a bite.] I don't need to taste the others, WE HAVE A WINNER! [Everybody cheers.]
Lost Pepper of Claggerhorn: Sometimes it just takes a little teamwork to really mi-
[Everything goes blurry.]

[Scene change: Forest, day]

[Knuckles is seen lying on the ground with his eyes closed.]
Sonic: Hey, there he is! Knuckles! [The rest of Team Sonic walk up to Knuckles, who suddenly wakes up.]
Tails: What happened? Are you okay?
Knuckles: [Drowsy] I won the cook off!
Amy: Actually, the cook off was yesterday, we've been looking for you ever since then.
Knuckles: I ate this...pepper. It was a tiny bite, but it gave me this crazy dream. [Gasps] Or maybe... It was a dream...
Sonic: A pepper that strong? Come on, Knuckles. [The rest of Team Sonic laugh.]
Knuckles:...I guess you're right, that's impossibl- [Knuckles belches fire, which scorches the rest of Team Sonic. Everybody laughs.]