Lovesick Sonic/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Lovesick Sonic".

[The episode begins with Breezie, a green hedgehog with blue hair in a red dress and red high-heel shoes, running for her life.]
 * Breezie: Help! Help! Help!

[Scratch and Grounder are revealed to be the ones chasing her.]
 * Grounder: Watch. It's nasty ideas like this that make Dr. Robotnik love me best.

[''Grounder turns his right drill into a fishing rod. He casts it, and the hook snatches onto a cactus, pulling him towards it.'']
 * Grounder: Whoa!

[Grounder slams into the cactus.]
 * Scratch: Hoo. You couldn't catch a cold. Watch a real pro. Bwahahaha!

[''Scratch snatches the fishing rod and casts it at Breezie. The hook snatches onto her dress and pulls her away.'']
 * Breezie: Robot attack! Save me!

[Meanwhile, not far away, Sonic and Tails are cooking chili dogs in a stewpot.]
 * Breezie:Help!

[Sonic listens in on Breezie's yell.]
 * Sonic]: Sounds like Robotnik's badniks are stirring up more trouble.

[''Sonic rushes towards Breezie, who is now tied to a rock as Scratch and Grounder interrogate her. Grounder is also revealed to have turned his left drill into a flashlight.'']
 * Scratch: We have ways of making you talk, hedgehog.

[Grounder shines the flashlight on Breezie.]
 * Grounder: We do? What ways?
 * Scratch: Stupid!

[Scratch smacks Grounder's head with his right hand.]
 * Grounder: Huh? Oh, yeah, right! We got stupid ways to make you talk, so start blabbing, missy!

[Breezie gasps]
 * Scratch: Tell us where we can find Sonic.
 * Breezie: I don't know where he is. I've never even met Sonic.

[Sonic runs up to Breezie.]
 * Sonic: You have now. Picking on a pretty lady. Don't you bots have any chivalry?
 * Scratch: No, but Grounder's got a great trick up his sleeve.

[Scratch hits Grounder with his right elbow.]
 * Grounder: My new glue gun! It'll paste your sneakers right to the pavement!

[''Grounder turns his flashlight into a glue gun. He shoots at Sonic, but misses, as Sonic runs away.'']
 * Scratch: Yeah, hedgehog, stick around! Bwahaha! Hey fast draw, you missed!

[Scratch smacks Grounder's head with his right hand.]
 * Scratch: Wait till' Dr. Robotnik hears about this! Bwahahaha!

[Grounder points his glue gun at Scratch.]
 * Grounder: Not from you! I'll glue your yap shut!
 * Sonic: Hold it! Official photographer.

[''Sonic is revealed to have set up a camera behind Scratch and Grounder. Inside the camera, Sonic is revealed to be wearing a reporter's hat, a pair of glasses, and a long, grey beard.'']
 * Sonic: Dr. Robotnik wants this historic moment preserved for his museum of villainry and rottenness. Okay, okay. Put your arm on each other's shoulders and say "Cheese".

Scratch and Grounder: Cheese! [Sonic takes a picture of Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Sonic: Great, great, great! Now this time, take two steps backward, and say, "Glue".

[Scratch and Grounder back up, unaware they just stepped in the glue that Grounder attempted to fire at Sonic earlier.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: Glue! Glue?

[''As Scratch and Grounder struggle to get out of the glue, Sonic unties Breezie from the rock. He grabs her right arm with his left hand and carries her back to Tails.'']
 * Breezie: My hero!

[As Breezie talks to Sonic, Tails looks at them, unamused.]
 * Breezie: I heard you were speedy, I heard you were brave. I didn't know you'd be so... handsome.
 * Sonic: Handsome? You really think so?

[As Breezie talks to Sonic, she grabs his left cheek with her right hand and pulls it towards her.]
 * Breezie: And strong, and clever, and daring. How can I ever thank you?

[Breezie giggles.]
 * Breezie: I know.

[''Breezie kisses Sonic on his left cheek. Tails is horrified when he sees this.'']
 * Tails: Yuck!

[Sonic now has hearts in his eyes.]
 * Sonic: Aw, it was nothing. Any heroic warp-speed hedgehog who wants to help people in trouble could have done it.

[Tails grabs Sonic and pulls him away.]
 * Breezie: Not so dashingly as you. Not so gallantly.

[Tails walks back to Breezie, with Sonic still in his hands.]
 * Tails: Hi, my name is Tails, and Sonic and I gotta go now.
 * Breezie: My name is Breezie.

[Breezie walks towards the stewpot.]
 * Tails: Nice to have met you, bye.
 * Breezie: Oh, look! Chili dogs! My favorite, favorite food.

[Sonic runs up to Breezie.]
 * Sonic: Hey, mine too! Would you like to stay for lunch?
 * Breezie: Unfortunately, I hate dining outdoors.
 * Sonic: Oh.
 * Breezie: The sun can be runious to a girl's complexion.
 * Tails: Like I said, it was nice to meet you. Bye!
 * Breezie: Of course, Sonic, sweetie, if you had an umbrella...
 * Sonic: One shade, gettin' made!

[Sonic runs away, then comes back and builds a table with two chairs and an umbrella.]
 * Sonic: How's that?
 * Breezie: Perfect!
 * Tails: Great. Sonic should have quit while we were ahead.
 * Breezie: All it needs is flowers.
 * Sonic: Flowers?

[Sonic runs away, then comes back, holding a bouquet of flowers in his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Flowers!
 * Breezie: Awesome!

[Breezie takes the flowers, and Sonic now has hearts in his eyes again.]
 * Sonic: Yeah. Awesome. Like somebody I just met.
 * Breezie: Too bad they're not Mobisia Marvelosa Merigoldias.

[Breezie tosses the flowers aside.]
 * Sonic: Mobisia what?
 * Breezie: My favorite, favorite, favorite flowers.
 * Sonic: Oh.
 * Breezie: They grow 2,000 miles away down at the Equator. How could I possibly expect you to bring me some? Silly me.
 * Sonic: Tails, little buddy, look after Breezie. This may take a few minutes.

[''Sonic runs away, towards the Equator. When he reaches it, there is a Map Maker sitting on a chair in front of a tree. To his right side is a bag of maps.'']
 * Sonic: I just came 2,000 miles. I want a map!
 * Map Maker: Nah, no way. You don't want a map to the Mobisia Marvelosa Merigoldias.
 * Sonic: I'm waiting.

[''Sonic presses his head against the Map Maker's body. The Map Maker gives Sonic a map.'']
 * Map Maker: Okay, okay, but remember; Avoid the Angry Alligators,

[Sonic looks at the map and runs away.]
 * Map Maker: Don't provoke the Python, and keep your eyes peeled for Cannibals!

[Sonic continues looking at the map as he continues running.]
 * Sonic: Avoid the Angry Alligators...

[''Sonic bumps into one of the Angry Alligators. Behind that Alligator are the other Angry Alligators, who are all swimming in the water. Before the Alligator can attack him, Sonic kicks the alligator with his left foot, knocking the Alligator onto the others. They form a bridge, which Sonic runs across. Sonic then continues running and reading the map.'']
 * Sonic: Okay, don't provoke the Python...

[''Sonic runs onto the Python. The Python eats Sonic, licks his lips with his tongue, then spits Sonic out, causing Sonic to fly through the air.'']
 * Sonic: Sorry, big guy! Should have warned you about my quills!

[The Python opens his mouth, revealing his tongue to be covered in bandages, and some of Sonic's quills to be lodged into it.]
 * Python: Bleh!

[Sonic continues reading the map and flying through the air.]
 * Sonic: And keep your eyes peeled for... Aaaah!

[Sonic gets caught in a rope trap.]
 * Sonic: Cannibals.

[''Sonic hears growling. He looks down and gasps when he sees three Pig Cannibals looking up at him and licking their lips. Two of the Pig Cannibals set up a table, with a vase and wine glasses. They sit at the table, and the third returns, dressed in a waiter's outfit.'']
 * Pig Cannibal: Would you like to hear our specials for the day?

[''The Pig Cannibal pulls out a piece of paper with a picture of Sonic hanging from a rope by his right foot. The paper says, MEN-HEW SONIC''.]
 * Pig Cannibal:Honey-baked hedgehog, hedgehog hollandaise, and hedgehog hash.

[Sonic taps the Pig Cannibal's head with his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: Hey, talk to the Python. I taste terrible. Aaah!

[The Pig Cannibal grabs Sonic with his left hand.]
 * Pig Cannibal: Oh contraire. You look deliciousaire.

[''The Pig Cannibal pulls Sonic off the rope, and is revealed to have tied him to a barbecue rotisserie. The Pig Cannibal is also revealed to be dressed in an apron and chef's hat, and is holding a barbecue fork.'']
 * Pig Cannibal: Perfect for ze barbecue.
 * Sonic: You guys don't get it, do you? I'm no barbecue.

[Sonic breaks free from the ropes.]
 * Sonic: I'm fast food!

[''The Pig Cannibal tries to attack Sonic with his barbecue fork, but Sonic pushes him away. The other two Pig Cannibals try to attack Sonic, but miss.'']
 * Sonic:You guys can chase me, if you can.

[''Sonic runs around the Pig Cannibals, who tire down. The other one falls on them and they explode. Meanwhile, Sonic reaches the entrance to the Garden of the Mobisia Marvelosa Marigoldias, with a sign that says, ENTRANCE MOBISIA MARVELOSA MARIGOLDIAS GARDEN. In the garden, a Rabbit Gardener is holding a watering can in his right hand and a hoe in his left. When Sonic runs up to him, holding his head with his left hand, the Rabbit Gardener puts down his watering can and shakes Sonic's right hand with his right.'']
 * Rabbit Gardener: Congratulations! You have reached the garden of the Mobisia Marvelosa Merigoldias.
 * Sonic: Whoa. Finally. I'm getting pooped.
 * Rabbit Gardener: Unfortunately, no one ever returned from here.
 * Sonic: And why not?

[''The Rabbit Gardener backs up as fire falls from the sky. Sonic jumps and stares at the fire.'']
 * Sonic: Yikes!

[The fire clears]
 * Rabbit Gardener: The Fire Dragon won't let em'.

[''The Fire Dragon roars and breathes fire at Sonic. Sonic jumps out of the way just in time.'']
 * Fire Dragon: What?

[Sonic climbs up the Fire Dragon's neck and pokes his head with his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: Think you're hot stuff, huh? Okay, toast your tootsies with this!

[Sonic runs down the Fire Dragon's neck and runs around his right foot, setting it on fire.]
 * Fire Dragon: Yeeoow!

[''The Fire Dragon jumps into the air, leaving a black cloud that says, YEEOOW. Sonic grabs a boquet of Mobisia Marvelosa Marigoldias, then runs past the Rabbit Gardener. As Sonic runs past a pool of water, the Fire Dragon holds his burning right foot and hops on his left'']
 * Fire Dragon: Oooh, aaah, oooh, aaah aaah, aaah, oh-hoo-hoo-hoo!

[The Fire Dragon puts his right foot in the water, putting the fire out.]
 * Fire Dragon: Ahhh.

[''The Fire Dragon pulls out his right foot, revealing the Angry Alligators to be chomping on it. He stares at them in shock.'']
 * Fire Dragon: Yeow!

[''Sonic runs back to Tails and Breezie, carrying the Mobisia Marvelosa Marigoldias in his left hand. Beads of sweat can be seen on his head'']
 * Breezie: I hope this wasn't too much trouble, Sonic, sweetie.

[Sonic pulls out a yellow hankerchief with his right hand and wipes his head with it, panting heavily as he does.]
 * Sonic: Trouble? Nah!
 * Tails: Then what took you so long?
 * Breezie: Tailsie is right. I waited and waited, and got famisheder and famisheder.
 * Sonic: Well, why didn't you offer Breezie a chili dog?
 * Tails: She won't eat our chili dogs.
 * Breezie: I only eat Chef Charlemaine's choice chili dogs. He has the cutest little cafe just 6,000 miles from here, in the Ice Territory.

[''In the Ice Territory, a Polar Bear can be seen fishing in a hole in the ice. A giant snowball runs up to him, then explodes, revealing a very cold and shivering Sonic inside'']
 * Sonic: Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chef Ch-ch-ch-Charlemaine's choice chili dogs?

[The Polar Bear points to the direction with his right index finger]
 * Polar Bear: Heh! Straight ahead to the big glacier, then, uh, turn left at the second iceberg.
 * Sonic: Th-th-th-th-th-thanks.

[''Sonic runs away, through three giant snowballs, leaving Sonic-shaped holes in each of them, and forming a giant snowball of his own. The Polar bear extends his fangs, then retracts him. He pulls out his fishing pole, revealing a telephone reciever at the end. He grabs the reciever with his right hand.''] Polar Bear: Give me Dr. Robotnik. [Meanwhile, Scratch is revealed to have answered Grounder's robocom phone inside Robotnik's lair.]
 * Scratch: His Royal Malicious Robotnik's Laboratory, Scratch squawking! It's for you, your maliciousness. Fresh off the reciever.

[Scratch hands Robotnik the phone with his right hand. Robotnik grabs the phone with his left hand.]
 * 'Robotnik: Who is this?

['Robotnik is revealed to be dressed in a purple robe and a fez.]
 * Robotnik: I can't talk now, I'm waiting for important news from the ice territory.

[''Back at the Ice Territory, The Polar Bear is talking to Robotnik. Some hula-dancing penguins can be seen in the background as he talks to him.'']
 * Polar Bear: Then, uh, listen up, your rottenness. Sonic was just here.

[Robotnik grins, then tosses the phone aside.]
 * Robotnik: Ha ha! It's working! My sneaky, devious, underhanded scheme is working!

[Scratch and Grounder are revealed to be tied up in the phone cord.]
 * Scratch: Any sneaky, devious, underhanded scheme in particular?
 * Robotnik: Yes. My secret agent, Breezie, has got Sonic running in circles all over Mobius.
 * Scratch: Breezie is your secret agent?

[''Scratch scratches his head with his right hand. Robotnik tosses his fez aside with his right hand and opens his robe.'']
 * Robotnik: Of course!
 * Grounder: Then why did you send us to capture her?

[''Grounder turns his right hand into a drill into a hand, which he scratches his head with. Robotnik is now dressed in a pair of blue polka-dotted boxer shorts and a girdle, the latter of which he uses to make himself look more muscular.'']
 * Robotnik: That was the brilliantly sneaky part of my devious and underhanded scheme.

[Robotnik pulls a dressing wall with a picture of a dragon in front of him.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: It was?
 * Robotnik: Yes, you dumbots!

[Robotnik removes his boxer shorts and is revealed to be dressed in his robe again.]
 * Robotnik: How else could I get Sonic to think Breezie is on his side?
 * Scratch: I knew it all the time.
 * Grounder: I knew it before you did!
 * Scratch: Great acting job I did when we captured her, huh?
 * Grounder: Yeah, great acting job. You almost had me thinking Robotnik put a brain in your head!

[Robotnik punches Grounder with his left hand through the dressing wall.]
 * Robotnik: Silence!
 * Grounder: Yes, your miserableness.

[Robotnik pushes the dressing wall away, revealing he is now dressed in a pilot's uniform.]
 * Robotnik: Now that Breezie has diverted Sonic to the far reaches of the planet, it's time to launch the second part of my terrible plan!

[''The girdle snaps from inside Robotnik's uniform, making him look fat again. In the next scene, Robotnik is on the roof of his fortress as he shows off his latest invention, the Egg-o-Matic Tunnelizer and Town Terrorizer.'']
 * Robotnik: Well, gentlemen,

[Robotnik jumps into the Tunnelizer.]
 * Robotnik: How do you like it?
 * Grounder: Hmmm...
 * Scratch: Uh... oh-ho, we love it.
 * Grounder: Yeah, it's the best one we've ever seen.
 * Scratch: If we were gonna build one ourselves, we'd make it exactly like that.
 * Grounder: Exactly.
 * Scratch: One question.
 * Robotnik: Yes?
 * Scratch and Grounder: What is it?

[Robotnik repeatedly hits the wall of the Tunnelizer with his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: It's my new Egg-o-Matic Tunnelizer and Town Terrorizer. See that ugly, empty space in front of my fortress?

[Robotnik points to the village in the distance.]
 * Scratch: It's not exactly empty, your maliciousness.

[''Inside the village, three kids are playing with a jump rope and an elderly lady is knitting in a rocking chair. An elderly man passes by her and she waves to him'']
 * Grounder: That is that whole village right there.
 * Robotnik: In six hours, that village will be gone.
 * Scratch and Grounder: Gone?
 * Robotnik: Vanished! Destroyed! Obliterated! I'm flooding it! I'm going to tunnel to the main Mobius reservoir, steal all its water, and turn that town into lake Robotnik!

[Robotnik laughs evilly.]
 * Grounder: Need any help?
 * Robotnik: No! I want you two to go help Breezie elimate Sonic. This is one time I'm going to do some rottenness, and that hedgehog won't stop me!
 * Grounder: But what will happen to all the people?
 * Robotnik: In a word, they'll all be sunk!

[''Robotnik laughs evilly again, then pulls the lever, setting the Tunnelizer from LOW to HIGH, starting it up. As this happens, Scratch and Grounder hold and look at each other worriedly'']
 * Scratch and Grounder: Aaaah!

[Robotnik's tunnelizer flies off the roof]
 * Robotnik: Yee-haw! Lookit, yippie! Oh!

['Robotnik's tunnelizer drills into the ground, leaving a hole in it]