Best Hedgehog/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Best Hedgehog". [''The episode begins outside Robotnik's fortress. A pair of Robot Soldiers are guarding the front door. As soon as they turn around, Sonic spins in between them. The Robot Soldiers aim their guns, then Tails flies in between them. The Robot Soldiers then look at each other, with the rightmost one shrugging his left arm in confusion. Sonic spins up to a sewer grate, and Tails lands next to him.'']
 * Tails: You sure we gotta do this, Sonic? This is Robotnik's fortress!

[As Sonic talks to Tails, he lifts up the sewer grate with his left hand.]
 * Sonic: If a guy's been locked up for thirty years, he needs rescue!

[''Sonic jumps into the hole. Tails gasps and looks through the hole.'']
 * Tails: Sonic!

[''Tails flies through the hole. Inside Robotnik's dungeon, Sonic looks around and sees various robots bolted to the walls. Tails follows behind him.'']
 * Tails: This place gives me the creeps.

[Tails stares in shock.]
 * Tails: Whaa!

[In front of tails is a giant statue of Dr. Robotnik, which Sonic hits repeatedly with his right fist.]
 * Sonic: Yeah, and that's the biggest creep of all!

[''In the cage next to Tails, Lucas, a brown hairy creature, pokes Tails' right arm with his right index finger. Tails turns around and stares in shock.'']
 * Tails: Aaaah!
 * Lucas: Relax, kid, I'm not gonna bite!
 * Tails: How bout' claw, choke or kick?
 * Sonic: Are you the guy Robotnik locked up thirty years ago?
 * Lucas: The one and only! Name's Lucas.
 * Sonic: Well, stand back, Lucas! We're busting you out of here!

[''Sonic spins around the bottom of Lucas' cage, destroying it and setting Lucas free. Lucas lands on the ground below.'']
 * Lucas: Ugh!

[An alarm sounds.]
 * Tails: Uh-oh! Look!

[''Tails points with his left index finger. A pair of robots, which somewhat resemble the Octus enemy from Sonic the Hedgehog 2, run towards Sonic, Tails, and Lucas. One of them growls and chomps.'']
 * Sonic: It's one of Robotnik's little pals! Sure is one mean-looking son of a can opener!

[Tails and Lucas run away.]
 * Tails: Aaaah!
 * Lucas: Whoa!
 * Sonic: Speaking of looks...

[''Sonic reaches behind his back with both his hands. He pulls out a mirror, which he is holding in his right hand, and a comb, which he is holding in his left. He looks in the mirror and combs his quills with the comb. Tails and Lucas are hiding behind a pile of robot heads, one of which resembles Grounder's.'']
 * Lucas: Uh, who are you frimpin' for? The undertaker?
 * Sonic: Least I can do is give them a spare chance!

[''One of the robots screeches to a halt. A laser cannon and a crosshair emit from it's head. The Robot looks at Sonic through the crosshair.'']
 * Sonic: I'm waiting!

[''The robot fires at Sonic with its laser cannon, but Sonic uses the mirror to deflect the lasers. The lasers bounce off the mirror and zap the robot. The robot screams as the laser zaps it, destroying it.'']
 * Sonic: When fast thinking is of the essence, I'm the essence of fast thinking!

[The second robot screams as it charges toward Sonic, who holds his left hand out in front of it like a stop sign.]
 * Sonic: Sorry we can't stick around and play. Gotta chug, bug!

[''The robot stops near Sonic. Just as it is about to chomp him, Lucas reaches from offscreen with his left arm, grabs Sonic by his body with the same hand, then pulls him away. The robot misses as a result. Tails and Lucas run away, and Lucas has Sonic in tow. They run up a set of stairs, but the robot growls and runs after them. He pulls on the stairs, turning them into a slide, which Sonic, Tails, and Lucas now slide down.'']
 * Sonic, Tails and Lucas: Whoa!
 * Sonic: Aaaah!

[''The robot is now waiting at the end of the slide, preparing to chomp Sonic, Tails, and Lucas. Sonic jumps into the air and spins. He bounces off the slide and spins through the chains of a chandelier. The chandelier falls on the robot, hitting it on its head. Tails flies above the robot, carrying Lucas with both his hands. Sonic, who is now wearing his doctor disguise from "Super Special Sonic Search and Smash Squad", runs up to the robot, who is now moving wearily.'']
 * Sonic: Take two, and call me in the morning!

[''Sonic is now holding two pills in his left hand, which he hands to the robot, who eats them. Sonic runs away, and Robotnik, who is revealed to have watched the entire thing on a monitor, slams the monitor with his right fist.'']
 * Dr. Robotnik: I hate that hedgehog!

[At the control panel, Scratch and Grounder are now standing next to Robotnik.]
 * Robotnik: Quick! Prepare the Egg Blaster!

[''Scratch and Grounder run away. A periscope drops down, which Robotnik looks through. Scratch is now sitting at the control panel of the Egg Blaster, as a rotten egg-bomb is being carried over to it by a claw. Scratch presses a button on the control panel with his left index finger, and the claw drops the rotten egg-bomb into the Egg Blaster. The lid to the Egg Blaster then closes.'']
 * Scratch: Rotten Egg Bomb in launch position!
 * Robotnik: Fire!

[''Scratch presses a button on the control panel with his left index finger. The Egg Blaster fires the rotten egg-bomb, and Sonic, Tails, and Lucas are walking through the halls, looking for the exit.'']
 * Sonic: Now, which way is out of here?

[Tails looks up and points with his left index finger.]
 * Tails: Rotten egg-bomb!

[The rotten egg-bomb falls towards, Sonic, Tails and Lucas.]
 * Lucas [heard offscreen]: Aaaah!

[Sonic: Hold that thought! [''Sonic runs away. He comes to a grandfather clock, and opens the door with his right hand, then pulls out a spring with his left. He then runs back to Tails and Lucas.'']
 * Tails and Lucas: It's gonna get us!

[''Sonic sets the spring down in front of Tails and Lucas. The rotten egg-bomb bounces off the spring and into the air.'']
 * Tails: All right, Sonic!
 * Sonic: Excuse me. I got a breakfast date with Robotnik. You guys get out of here and meet me by the river!

[''Sonic points to the exit with his right index finger, and Tails and Lucas run in that direction. Sonic runs away. Meanwhile, Robotnik is standing at the edge of the platform, cupping his left hand to his left ear. Scratch points at him with his left index finger.'']
 * Scratch: Hear anything, your vileness?
 * Robotnik: Shhh! Yes, I hear it!

[Unknown to Robotnik, the rotten egg-bomb flies behind him.]
 * Scratch: Uh, your repulsiveness, it's the egg-bomb!

[Scratch and Grounder point up with their left hands as the rotten egg-bomb begins to fall.]
 * Robotnik: Of course it's the egg-bomb, fool!

[Robotnik looks up as the rotten egg-bomb's shadow covers him.]
 * Robotnik: Aaah!

[The rotten egg-bomb lands on Robotnik, covering him in rotten egg.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: Whoa! Ewww!

[''Robotnik, who is now covered in rotten egg, is sitting in a giant frying pan. Sonic, who is dressed as a chef, is holding the handle with both his hands.'']
 * Sonic: Sunny side down!

[''Sonic lifts the handle. Robotnik growls as he flies into the air, then back into the frying pan. Sonic is standing on a ladder next to the pan, sprinkling pepper on Robotnik, using a pepper shaker he is holding in his right hand, and turning the handle with his left. Robotnik looks up'']
 * Sonic: Tell me when.

[''Robotnik is now covered in pepper. He holds up his right hand.'']
 * Robotnik: Nincombots! Get him! Aaah-aaah-choo! Achoo!

[''The force of Robotnik's sneeze pushes him out of the frying pan. Sonic, who is no longer in disguise, backs up to the window as Scratch and Grounder growl at him. They charge at Sonic, but Sonic moves out of the way, hanging onto the window with his left hand and foot, causing Scratch and Grounder to fall out the window.'']
 * Scratch: Yeow-how-how-how!
 * Grounder: Yaaah!

[''Scratch and Grounder land with a crash. Sonic then spins his way to the lake, where Tails and Lucas are waiting for him.'']
 * Lucas: Hey, thanks for saving me! But why'd you do it?
 * Sonic: Nobody should have to stay in a dungeon for thirty years! Why does Robotnik hate you so much?
 * Lucas: It's all about Lucinda. My beautiful, wonderful Lucinda. It all seems like yesterday.]

[''Lucas' flashback begins. In the flashback, Lucas is a teenager resembling the title character from the "Where's Waldo?" book series. He and Lucinda are seen in their high-school chemistry class as Lucas picks up a test tube with his left hand. Lucinda takes the test tube from Lucas with her left hand.'']
 * Lucas [narrating]: We were lab partners at our high school chemistry class. I was just working up the nerve to ask her to go steady, and Robotnik didn't like it.

[A teenage Robotnik, who is shown to be fat and ugly, and have his mustache, is shown in the flashback.]
 * Robotnik: Why does he get all the luck? Lucinda should my lab partner, and my girlfriend! I'll take care of him!

[''Robotnik pulls out a remote control, which he is now holding in his right hand. He grabs the joystick with his left hand, and a robot snake slithers in. Lucinda gasps.'']
 * Lucinda: Aaaah!

[The robot snake wraps itself around Lucas.]
 * Lucas: Aaagh!

[Robotnik, who is now holding the remote in his left hand, walks up to Lucinda, who turns to face him.]
 * Robotnik: Lucinda!
 * Lucinda: You! You did this!
 * Robotnik: Yes, Lucinda, for you! I had such such dirty, rotten plans in store for Mobius!
 * Lucinda: Well, count me out!
 * Robotnik: But I want to share my villainous life with you, Lucinda!

[Robotnik is now begging on his knees.]
 * Robotnik: I'll give you a quarter of everything I plunder, if you go steady with me!
 * Lucinda: Never! Never ever! Not in a trillion years!
 * Robotnik: I suppose this means marriage is completely out of the question!

[''Lucinda takes the remote control from Robotnik with her right hand. Meanwhile, the Robot snake continues squeezing Lucas.'']
 * Lucas: Aaaah.

[Lucinda presses the joystick with her right hand, disabling the robot snake and setting Lucas free.]
 * Lucinda [heard offscreen]: Oh, Lucas! Dear Lucas!

[Lucinda walks up to Lucas and puts her right arm around Lucas' right shoulder.]
 * Lucinda: Are you all right?
 * Robotnik: You'll pay for this!

[Lucas' flashback ends.]
 * Lucas: Just after that, Robotnik was expelled, and began his villainous career. When he built his fortress, I was his first prisoner.
 * Tails: Wow! So, what happened to Lucinda?

[Tears form in Lucas's eyes.]
 * Lucas: Who knows? [cries] After all these years?

[Sonic walks up to Lucas.]
 * Sonic: Hey, come on! She may be waiting for you!

[Lucas gasps as he sees his reflection in the water.]
 * Lucas: For this? A walkin' haystack?

[Sonic puts his hand on Lucas' back.]
 * Sonic: If she stood up to Robotnik like that, she really must have loved you! Come on, time's a wasting!
 * Lucas: W-what's the hurry?
 * Sonic: Are you kiddin'? She's been waiting thirty years! I can't stand waiting thirty seconds! We're taking you to Lucinda!

[''Sonic runs away, towing Tails in his left arm, and Lucas in his right. The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress. Inside the fortress, Robotnik is talking to Scratch and Grounder.'']
 * Robotnik: I don't care what it takes! I'll give anything to have Lucas return to my dungeon!
 * Scratch: Anything?
 * Grounder: For that decrepid old hairball?
 * Robotnik: That hairball stole the one thing I treasured most in life! Besides having power and comitting rottenness, of course. My beautiful, wonderful Lucinda. It all seems like yesterday.

[''Hearts emit from Robotnik as his flashback begins. Robotnik's flashback is shown to be a lot different from Lucas', as the teenage Robotnik is shown to be a lot more handsome than in Lucas' flashback. Robotnik grabs a test tube with his left hand and pours it into a beaker that Lucinda is holding in both her hands.'']
 * Robotnik: We make such chemistry together, eh, Lucinda ?

[Lucinda giggles.]
 * Lucinda: Oh, Robotnik!

[Lucas, who is shown to be much braver in Robotnik's flashback than his own, is now standing angrily in the doorway.]
 * Robotnik [narrating]: Everything was perfect till' that too-goodnik muscle-brained Lucas showed up!

[''Lucas pushes Robotnik's face with his left hand. He now has his left hand on Lucinda's left arm as he points to Robotnik with his right index finger.'']
 * Lucas: Get lost, you low-life scum! Lucinda and I have a date to sing to the orphans at the hospital!

[Lucinda puts her right hand on Lucas' right shoulder.]
 * Lucinda: Let go of me, you clean-cut cootie!
 * Robotnik: Get your hands off my girl!
 * Lucas: Your girl? We'll see about that!

[Lucas runs up to Robotnik, who slaps his face with his right hand.]
 * Lucas: Ow!

[Robotnik kicks Lucas' chest with his right foot.]
 * Lucas: Oof!

[''Robotnik picks up Lucas with both his hands and tosses him through the window, leaving a Lucas-shaped hole in it. Lucinda walks up to Robotnik and grabs his right arm with both her hands.'']
 * Lucinda: Robotnik, you saved me from that goody-goody bonehead. You're my hero.

[Lucinda kisses the back of Robotnik's head, leaving Robotnik in a lovestruck trance.] Grounder [heard offscreen]: Awww. So where is she? How come we never met her? Hello? Your malevolence? [As Robotnik's flashback ends, Robotnik is lying on his stomach on a table, with hearts emiting from his head.]
 * Scratch: Yeah, what happened? Where is your Lucinda?

[A heart with Lucinda's head emits from Robotnik's head.]
 * Grounder [heard offscreen]: Did you marry her and live happily ever after?

[The heart with Lucinda's head pops.]
 * Robotnik: No! I want Lucas back in his cage, now!
 * Grounder: Huh?
 * Scratch: Oh!
 * Robotnik: I bet they'll be heading for the Mobius Jungle!
 * Scratch: The jungle? why?
 * Robotnik: Lucinda teaches there in a little schoolhouse. If you bring Lucas and Sonic back to me, you can name your prize; anything!

[Robotnik points at Scratch and Grounder with his left index finger.]
 * Scratch: Your Egg-O-Matic Hovercraft?
 * Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Yes!
 * Scratch: This fortress?
 * Robotnik: Yes! I said anything!
 * Grounder: You mean, like, that wrench set over there?

[''A toolbox with several wrenches in it is shown. Robotnik now has his right hand on his head in annoyance.'']
 * Robotnik: D'ah! Even the wrench set!
 * Grounder: See ya!

[''Grounder tries to roll away, but a wrench is tossed at him. It hits his right tread, knocking him over.'']
 * Grounder [in a muffled voice]: Hey! I can't move!

[Scratch runs past Grounder.]
 * Scratch: What are you griping about? You wanted that wrench set, didn't you?

[''Scratch runs out the doorway. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Scratch is running through Mobius Canyon.'']
 * Scratch: Mobius Canyon! That's the place to catch em'!

[Grounder, who has now turned his left drill into a jackhammer, rolls up to a tree.]
 * Grounder: I'll show that Scratch! I'll catch Sonic first!

[''Grounder drills into the ground with his jackhammer. The screen then transitions to the next scene, where Grounder is looking down at a rope trap when Sonic runs up to him and looks down at the rope trap.'']
 * Sonic: Hmmm. Don't think your trap will work.
 * Grounder: Sure it will!

[As Grounder demonstrates his trap to Sonic, he points with his right drill.
 * Grounder: See, you come along here, and step in the snare, and get yanked up in the air,

[Grounder now points with his left drill.]
 * Grounder: Releasing that branch, which will bat you into that pit!

[Sonic scratches the back of his head with his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Gee, I can't visualize it!
 * Grounder: Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! You must be really, really dumb! Look!

[''Grounder steps into the snare, setting it off. It throws him into the pit.'']
 * Grounder: Aaaah! Whoa! Aaaah! Ugh!

[''Sonic walks up to the pit and looks down in it. Tails and Lucas follow behind him.'']
 * Sonic: Now I get it! See you, scum-bot!
 * Tails: Gotta go, slow-mo!

[Grounder mutters.]
 * Grounder: Why does it always? Oh, Scratch will get em'!

[''Grounder mutters. The screen then transitions to the next scene, where Sonic, Tails, and Lucas are all standing atop Mobius Canyon.'']
 * Lucas: It's time to give up, Sonic. You've already been over half of Mobius and talked to everybody, and we still have no idea where Lucinda is!
 * Sonic: We just haven't been asking the right people!

[''Sonic runs away. Scratch and Grounder are now standing next to a seesaw with a boulder at one end.'']
 * Scratch: D'oh, this time I'm in charge, and... and they won't get away!

[''Sonic, who is now holding a rope in his left hand, runs behind Scratch and Grounder. He ties the rope around their bodies, then whistles.'']
 * Scratch: It's the hedgehog!
 * Grounder: Yeah!

[Scratch and Grounder jump onto the seesaw.]
 * Scratch: Oh-ho-ho!

[''The Boulder, which now has the other end of the rope tied to it, rolls off the seesaw and down the canyon. Scratch and Grounder look down at the rope tied to them.'']
 * Grounder: Oh, that is real smart, Scratch! Just wait till I tell Dr. Robotnik what a failure you are!

[The rope pulls Scratch and Grounder down.]
 * Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[The boulder lands on the ledge below, and Scratch and Grounder land in front of the boulder.]
 * Grounder: Oof!
 * Scratch: Awk!

[Sonic, Tails, and Lucas are now standing next to Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Sonic: Gosh, I feel kinda sorry for em'! Makes me wanna give em' a hint and tell em' where we're going!
 * Grounder: After the dirty rotten trick you just pulled?!
 * Scratch: D'oh, Grounder, you moron-a-thon! We don't need the dumb hedgehog's dumb hints!

[Grounder points at Sonic with his right drill.]
 * Grounder: Right! I knew that. Yeah, you dumb hedgehog! We already know you're going to Lucinda's Schoolhouse in Mobius Jungle!
 * Lucas: Lucinda, here we come!
 * Sonic: You've got it, ace! Let's race!

[''Sonic grabs Tails and Lucas with his left hand, and runs away, dragging them along. He runs past the boulder, causing it to roll towards Scratch and Grounder, who look back and stare at it in shock.'']
 * Scratch: Yeow-how-how-how!
 * Grounder: Yeow!

[The screen transitions to a view of the volcanoes in Mobius Jungle.]
 * Lucinda [singing offscreen]: A B C D E F G,

[Sonic spins through Mobius Jungle.]
 * Lucas [heard offscreen]: Hold up, Sonic! Listen!

[Sonic stops spinning.]
 * Lucinda [singing offscreen]: H I J K, L M N O P,
 * Lucas: It's Lucinda!
 * Lucinda [singing offscreen] Q R S, T U V,

[''Lucinda's Schoolhouse is shown. Inside the schoolhouse, she is holding a pointer in her left hand as she points to the alphabet written on the blackboard with it and sings the alphabet song to her students, who are all animals.'']
 * Lucinda [singing]: W X, Y and Z!

[Sonic, Lucas, and Lucinda look through the window.]
 * Lucas: She's just as pretty as I remember!
 * Lucinda: Now, "R" is for "Rotten"!

[''Lucinda picks up a dart sitting on her desk with her right hand. She throws it at a picture of Robotnik, which already has two other darts in it. The dart lands on Robotnik's nose, and the students cheer.'']
 * Students: Yay!
 * Lucinda: And "L"... "L" is for "Lucas".

[''Lucinda sets her pointer down on her desk and picks up a picture of Lucas with both her hands. A tear rolls down her left eye as she looks sadly at the picture. Lucas stares at Lucinda in a lovestruck state as the students run to the door. Lucinda is now holding an eraser in her right hand, which she uses to erase the alphabet on the blackboard with.'']
 * Lucinda: Bye, everyone! See you tomorrow!

[''A monkey student wearing a beanie is holding an apple in his left hand. He sets the apple down on Lucinda's desk, which now has a big pile of apples on it.'']
 * Sonic [heard offscreen]: Kids really like her, don't they?
 * Lucas: Yeah. She's really something!

[''Lucas runs away. Sonic turns around and pulls Lucas back with his right hand, then holds him back with both his hands.'']
 * Sonic: Lucas! Where you going?

[Lucas tries to run away, but Sonic holds him back.]
 * Lucas: Well, I can't face her! It's the Lucas I was thirty years ago she wants!

[''Lucinda walks out the door and closes it with her right hand. She then walks away.'']
 * Sonic: Lucas, go on! She's waited thirty years! Going on thirty-one if you don't hurry! I'm waiting!

[''Sonic taps his left foot impatiently. Lucas gulps'']
 * Lucas: All right!

[''Lucas walks away. Lucinda walks through the jungle.'']
 * Lucas [heard offscreen]: Lucinda?

[Lucinda stops and looks around when she hears Lucas.]
 * Lucinda: Lucas?

[''Lucas walks towards Lucinda, when Scratch, who is holding a bag in both his hands, throws it over Lucas, and pulls Lucas away. Lucinda walks back to where Lucas was.'']
 * Lucinda: Lucas?

[Scratch and Grounder are now carrying the bag Lucas is in Grounder is holding the front of the bag, and Scratch is holding the back.]
 * Lucas [heard inside the bag]: Lucinda! Let me out of here! Lucinda!
 * Lucinda: Lucas!

[The screen fades to black.]