Heads or Tails/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Sonic SatAM episode, "Heads or Tails".


 * SWATbot: E.T.A. Planet Mobius, thirty seconds…
 * Swatbot: Five seconds, Dr. Robotnik.
 * Dr. Robotnik: Mmmm, we’re home Cluck. I do miss the beauty of this place when I’m away.
 * Cluck: *cluck cluck*
 * Snively: Good morning, Dr. Robotnik. Exciting trip?
 * Dr. Robotnik: Shut up, Snively.
 * Cluck: *cluck cluck*
 * Dr. Robotnik: Oh what is it, Cluck? Does hims need another head adjustment?

(Scene change to Dr. Robotnik’s control room)
 * Dr. Robotnik: Any hint of that troublesome hedgehog?
 * Snively: Not exactly, Dr. Robotnik.
 * Dr. Robotnik: What do you mean, not exactly? Either there is or there isn’t.
 * Snively: Well I- you see I- but I-…. Emergency, Dr. Robotnik! Monitor ten!
 * Dr. Robotnik: Isn’t that one of those Freedom Fighters!?
 * Snively: Affirmative, sir. His name is Tails and he is usually accompanied by Sonic.
 * Dr. Robotnik: Take him! Perhaps his cries will flush out…the hedgehog!

[Scene change to green plain surrounded by forest]
 * Tails: *sniff* Princess Sally will love these! I can’t wait to give them to her! *sniff* Ah- ah- AHHH-choo!

[BuzzBomber comes rushing towards Tails] [Scene changes to Rotor searching his backpack in middle of woods]
 * Rotor:*humming* Nope, not here, uh-uh, nope, nope, nope, mmm!
 * Sonic: You ready, Rotor!?
 * Rotor: Ready!
 * Sonic (singing while playing guitar): Hey Sal, don’t you call me a fool, ‘cuz baby you know that I’m way past cool! Way past cool! Way past cool, huh? How do you like the entrance? You know the way I come flyin’ in; hit the old Axel Rose coze, right on the down beat.
 * Rotor: Sally won’t like it, it’s too hard rock, its gotta be softer.
 * Sonic: Softer!? What do ya mean, softer!? Oh I hate softer! Softer is for pillows, for ice cream! Music has gotta move! It’s gotta be pedal to the metal! It’s gotta-
 * Rotor: Ballad!
 * Sonic: Ballad-shmallad! Nuh-uh, no way man! Ballads make me wanna hurl! Ugh! Chunkage contained.
 * Tails: Sonnniiic!
 * Sonic: Thought you said Tails was pickin’ flowers!
 * Rotor: He was... two minutes ago.
 * Robotnik: (observing from monitor): The foul little beast is ours, Cluck. Yesssss…

It worked! There’s the hedgehog! Bomber one, the hedgehog is directly behind you! Forget the small one! Get Sonic! Get him! GET HIM!!!
 * Sonic: Hang tight, Tails! We’re juicing warp seven!
 * Rotor: Hey Sonic! Over here!
 * Sonic: (to robotnik’s spybot): Little news, bucket head Robotnik! Read the old lips. You are history, done, through, out of here! ‘Cuz the Freedom Fighters are up and on the job!

Rotor: We’re there!
 * Tails: Hi mom.
 * Robotnik: Wait! Mark my words, hedgehog. Before this day is done, you, and the power rings, will be right in the palm of my hand.
 * Sonic: Should we hold our breath, guys?
 * Tails and Rotor: No way, nope, uh-uh.
 * Sonic: Let’s juice.

[Scene change, outside Knothole]
 * Sonic: Wake-up call, guys, the hedgehog has landed!
 * Tails: Wow! How fast did we go Sonic?
 * Sonic: We were scootin’ and rootin’ lil’ bro.
 * Tails: No way! Scootin’ and rootin’?
 * Rotor: [Dazed,] Yup, scootin’ and rootin’.
 * Tails: Can I ride with you Sonic?
 * Sonic: You wanna ride with me?
 * Tails: Yeah yeah yeah!
 * Sonic: Sorry bud, no can do…Just kidding! Let’s juice!

[Scene change, Knothole]
 * Rotor: Incoming! Cannonball!
 * Sonic and Tails: Ahh!
 * Rotor: Sorry ‘bout that, guys.
 * Sonic: You’re sorry?
 * Bunnie: [Throws up.] Yeugh!
 * Antoine: Very good, Bunnie! Now, up we go with the new one ‘ere.
 * Bunnie: Why Antoine, I do declare, what would I ever do without all your help?
 * Antoine: Ah, it’s nothing really.
 * Bunny: Do tell... Sally, did y’all figure out why these silly throwing arms keep breaking?
 * Sally: We’re working on it Bunny. (To Nicole) Search databank for entry, variable, catapult. Allow for an extra one thousand pound capacity, and begin creation.
 * NICOLE: Working.
 * Antoine: Ooh, you’re really beautiful when you work, Princess Sally.
 * Sally: Antoine, don’t call me princess. Out here, the only royalty is Mother Nature.
 * Antoine: Mmm, to me, you’ll always be royalty.
 * Sally: [working] Yes!
 * Rotor: Uh-huh!
 * Rotor and Sally: The cotter pins!
 * Rotor: They’re made of wood.
 * Sally: So, when we increase our payload weight, they break!
 * Rotor: They’ve gotta be metal!
 * Sally: It’s Sonic!
 * Antoine: Thought that I detected a foul odor…WAAH!
 * Sonic: Ant, Ant, ant, you look a little green. Actually, you look better green! You should keep it! Uh-oh Sal, what’s wrong?
 * Sally: I thought you were going to help.
 * Sonic: But what about yesterday?
 * Sally: What about it?
 * Sonic: Didn’t I help yesterday?
 * Sally: No.
 * Sonic: No?
 * Sally: Is there an echo?
 * Sonic: Well what about the day before yesterday?
 * Sally: Sonic! Are you going to help us?
 * Sonic: I was, I can, I am!
 * Sally: Thank you.
 * Sonic: I was built for speed and born for danger! Speed is my middle name and danger is my game!
 * Sally: This is not a game, Sonic! We need metal cotter pins for the catapult!
 * Sonic: Cotter-pins? What’s a cotter pin?

[Sally shows him a cotter pin]
 * Sonic: I knew that! Cotter pins! Come on Rotor, we gotta do the ring thing.

[Scene change, Knothole power ring pool] Tails: Is it time yet? Rotor: Any second now. Tails: Here it comes…I got it! Hey Sonic, how come you’re the only guy who can use the power rings? Sonic: My Uncle Chuck invented ‘em for me so I could bring down dorks like Robotnik. Tails: I hate creepy old Robotnik! Sonic: Yeah, don’t we all. Rotor: Yeah! (Scene change, forest) Sonic: Did you get it? Rotor (shows cotter pin): Yup, get six of these, but they have to metal. Sonic: No prob! Rotor: Be cool, Sonic. Sonic: Way past. (Scene change, Tails in another part of forest) Tails: Ahh! Oh you stupid- hurrr…ow! Stupid tree. Sonic: Tails, what are you doing? Tails: Going to the big city. Sonic: I’m excited for ya, little bro, but that’s nowhere near cool. Tails: How come? Sonic: Because the big city is crawling with SWATbots, they’re all over the place, waiting for ya to come to town, so they can robotocize you. Tails: They are!? Sonic: Sure they are. Tails: OK, but it’s a long way back to Knothole, so if a BuzzBomber gets real mad and gobbles me up, I bet you’re going to feel just terrible. Sonic: OK, OK, you can go, but listen up, you stay in my backpack and guard the power ring, got it? Tails: Got it! Is it gonna be dark when we get to the big city? Sonic: That’s the plan! Hold on, we’re gonna juice! (Scene change, Robotropolis) SWATbot (over communications): Patrol nine, status? Patrol: C-sector normal. Sonic: Place is crawling with SWATbots, Tails, so we gotta chill, serious! Tails: Eww, how come the big city smells so yucky? Sonic: Cause Robotnik’s factories hurl tons of crud into the sky everyday. Tails: Ah-ah-AHCHOO! *crash* Sonic: Gezhundheit! (Scene change, scrap yard) Sonic: Past cool, Tails…Cotter-pins! Tails: Who are those guys? Sonic: They used to be people, then Robotnik fed them through his robo-machine and now they’re robots working in his crud factories. Tails: Is Uncle Chuck there? Sonic: Don’t see em. Tails: Can I see Uncle Chuck’s picture again? Do you miss Uncle Chuck? Sonic: A ton, Muttski too… Tails (seeing a robot dog): That’s one mean lookin’- Sonic: That’s…that’s muttski! Tails: He look’s too mean. Sonic: Cause he’s a robot, but he won’t hurt me, I’m his best bud. Muttski, over here boy! Hey it’s me, Sonic. Muttski: *woof, woof* *growl* Sonic: Woah! Muttski, muttski, muttski, this is the thanks I get after putting you through four years of obedience school. Bad dog! You sit, you stay! You don’t bite, understand? Muttski: *bark bark* Sonic: See Tails, you gotta take control, let the dog know who’s in charge. Ha ha! Muttski, have you seen Uncle Chuck hangin out?...Aww, someday we’ll find him, you know what I’m gonna do Muttski? Change you back to a real dog! You know, chewin up furniture, chasing cars, drinking from the toilet! All that cool dog stuff. Tails: How you gonna do that? Sonic: By reversing him through Robotnik’s robo-machine…Woah, Muttski! Bad dog, Muttski! Mondo bad dog! You’re supposed to be hedgehog’s best friend…Woah! OK, OK, that’s it, I can take a hint Muttski. But hang in because someday we’ll be together again. (Scene change, Robotropolis rooftop) Tails: Uh-oh, more SWATguys. Sonic: C’mon bot brains, move it…Hold on to your lunch, Tails!...Tails, you ok. Tails (dazed): Yup…not again!...Where are we? Sonic: An air vent, but hey, no prob, I got eyes like a hawk… Sonic and Tails: Ahhh! (Scene change, robotnik’s control room) Robotnik (to line of SWATbots): Tonight, I shall reveal my most brilliant plan to date, that will positively eliminate the nasty little hedgehog. As well as all the other so-called Freedom Fighters, and bring me the power rings! My plan is simple in its genius. Sonic: Shoo! Tails: Sonic, I gotta go to the bathroom. Real, real bad! Robotnik: Inside these tanks, is a new chemical that I created, the my BuzzBombers, under Snively’s direction, will use to spray over the Great Forest, and instantly kill all trees! Revealing the Freedom Fighter’s secret hiding place, Knothole Village! Thus, allowing my SWATbots, to capture Princess Sally! And if that horrid hedgehog should show up, I have a little surprise - the hedgehog seeking missile! Start the countdown! Tails:AhhhCHOO! Robotnik: Wellllll, nice of you to drop in, hedgehog! Sonic: Did we miss dinner? Sonic: Does this mean dinners off? Robotnik: It means, hedgehog that your days as a Freedom Fighter, are over. Sonic: You talking to me? Robotnik: Of course! Sonic: I don’t think so, there’s still too much work to do! Listen, I’d like to stay and really get to know you Robotnik, but it’s juice time! Robotnik: Get him! Get him! GET HIM! GET THE HEDGEHOG!!! (Scene change, Robotropolis rooftop) Robotnik: Let’s see you worm out of this one, hedgehog! Sonic: Tails, time to get the power ring. Robotnik: The power ring! Sonic: Hold on Tails, we’re gonna warp sonic! Robotnik: You were fortunate this time, hedgehog, but the night is young. Tails: Ha ha, is this way past cool or what?! Sonic: Way past! (Scene change, Knothole) Sally: *sigh* It’s bad enough that Sonic doesn’t help out, now I’m worried about him and Tails. Bunny: *yawn* I’m sure they’re fine Sally. Sally: Do you think Sonic does all those childish things just to make me mad? Bunny: Oh honey-pie, I think that’s just Sonic, it’s what makes him special. Sally: Sonic! Sonic:-and the BuzzBombers are headed here right now with some chemical Robotnik invented, that’s gonna kill all the trees and expose Knothole! Somehow we gotta stop him! Sally: I have a plan! (Scene change, Mobius skies) Snively: Great Forest straight ahead! Six minutes! Rotor: OK, that’s all of em. Sonic: Tails, see anything? Tails: Sure, millions of things! Rocks, mountains, trees… Sally: Sonic, the new cotter pins really helped, and Rotor reinforced the throwing arms, but their range is still limited. The BuzzBombers have to fly close enough. Sonic: Hmm, problemo. Woah, the old light bulb just went off him my head. The BuzzBombers hate my guts, right? Sally: Yes, so? Sonic: What do you mean, so? Sally: So, as in, so what? Sonic: So, they’ll follow me anywhere, including inside our catapult range! Thank you, thank you, I am humble! Sally: I hate to admit it, but you’re right. Snively: Activate in ten seconds bomber one! Ten, nine- Sonic: You look a little hot, Buzzbrain! Better cool down with some ice water! Robotnik: The hedgehog, where is he? Where is the hedgehog! Snively: I’m…searching your Excellency. Robotnik: Find him! Sonic: Pfft! Here I am slug head, give me your best shot! Ooh, I’d like to hang but I gotta juice! Robotnik: Use the hedgehog missile! Sonic: C’mon missile head I’m getting bored…WOAH! *whistles* looking for me? Yo, back here needle nose! Hello! Robotnik: Get the hedgehog bomber one, or I will turn you into a can opener! Sally: Here comes Sonic, and BuzzBombers right behind him! Fire!...Fire! Tails: Ahhh! Help! Sonic! Sonic help me! Sonic! Robotnik: What are you doing bomber one?! Get back there! Get that hedgehog! Do you read me?! I want that hedgehog!!! Robotnik (to snively): Come, here… Snively: Um, alright… Sally: You were really great today. Sonic: Thanks, what about yesterday? Sally: What about it? Sonic: Wasn’t I great yesterday too? Sally: Hm, so-so. Sonic: So-so? Sally: Is there an echo? Sonic: Well what about the day before yesterday? Sally: What about it? Sonic: Well was I great, or so-so. Sally: I don’t remember the day before yesterday. Sonic: Well I do, and I was great!
 * Robotnik laughs*
 * cheers and applause at Knothole*