Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Robotnik's Pyramid Scheme".

Note: Scenes cut from certain reruns are highlighted in red .

[The episode begins with a view outside a Roman Colluseum.]
 * Robotnik: Run, you dumbbots, run!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, all of whom are locked in a stock, are running from an angry lion, who roars as he chases at them.]
 * Scratch: Ow-how-how! Ow! Ow! Oh!

[Grounder's nose dangles from his face.]
 * Grounder: Ow! You're ripping my nose cone off!
 * Robotnik: That lion is going to rip off more than your stup...

[''Before Robotnik can finish, he trips, and he, Scratch, and Grounder all scream as they fall over. The lion roars at them, and they all scream as run out of the stock, landing with a thud.'']
 * Robotnik: Ah, we're saved!

[Julius Robotnikus, Robotnik's distant cousin, is seen tapping his right index finger on the podium.]
 * Robotnik: That's my distant cousin, Julius Robotnikus!

[Grounder points his left drill at Julis Robonikus.]
 * Grounder: Hey, he looks just like you!

[''Julis Robotnik looks over at Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, and gives them a thumbs-down with his left hand. Scratch points his right index finger at him as he looks at Robotnik'']
 * Scratch: Acts just like you, too!
 * Robotnik: Why, that rotten...

[''The lion roars at Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, who all turn to face him, and scream as they stare in shock at them. They all grab hold of the stock with their hands and drills and put it in the lion's mouth.'']
 * Robotnik: Quick! Back to the time machine!

[''The lion tosses the stock aside and growls as he runs after Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder. They all scream as they hop into the time machine, and it disappears just in time as the lion pounces at it, missing. A view inside the time warp is now shown as the time machine travels through it.'']
 * Robotnik: That no-good hedgehog may have stopped me from getting the first two Chaos Emeralds,

[''Robotnik grabs a roll of paper with an image of the four Chaos Emeralds with his right hand and unfolds it with his left. The camera zooms in on the picture of the Chaos Emerald of Immortality.'']
 * Robotnik: But he won't stop me from getting the Emerald of Immortality! With it, I'll live forever, and have unlimited time to defeat Sonic and conquer the universe!

[Robotnik pulls the levers forward with both his hands, and Grounder screams as the time machine travels faster through the warp.]
 * Grounder: There goes my lunch!

[The screen transitions to a view of the beach, and the camera moves over to Tails, who is dressed in a blue bathing suit and standing next to his surfboard.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!
 * Tails: Go, Sonic!

[Sonic, who is dressed in a red bathing suit and sunglasses, spins counter-clockwise as he surfs on the wave.]
 * Sonic: Whoa! Whoa, yeah!

[Sonic lifts his sunglasses with his left hand.]
 * Sonic: Whoa! Babe off the port bow!

[''The Possum Beach Bunny, who resembles Miss Possum from "Magnificent Sonic" is seen riding a pink surfboard. Sonic surfs up to her.'']
 * Sonic: Hiya, beach bunny! What do you say we share the wave and a couple of chili dogs? Check out this maneuver!

[''The Possum Beach Bunny gasps as Sonic does a backflip, then she applauds. Sonic surfs on the wave as Professor Caninestein, who is dressed in a hawaiian shirt, is riding the Time Warp Boogie Board, holding the lever to it in his left hand as he waves with his right.'']
 * Professor Caninestein: Sonic!

[Sonic begins to lose his balance on the surfboard.]
 * Sonic: Not you again!

[The wave washes over Sonic.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[The wave tosses Sonic, who grunts as he spins across the sand.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[Sonic bounces off a barbecue grill, and surfs across the sand.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[Tails gasps, then flies into the air just in time to avoid Sonic surfing into him.]
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[''Sonic bounces off a bumper, and past the Walrus Lifeguard, who gasps when he sees him. The Possum Beach Bunny stops when she reaches the shore, tosses her surfboard in the air with her right foot, and catches it in both her hands. She then sets it down to her left side.'']
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[''The Possum Beach Bunny gasps as Sonic lands near her, losing his sunglasses in the process. Sonic looks up at her.'']
 * Sonic: Uh, pretty cool, huh? Uh, I call that thumper-boarding.

[Sonic's surfboard lands behind him and hits him on the head many times.]
 * Sonic: Yikes!

[The Possum Beach Bunny walks away from Sonic as the camera zooms in on him.]
 * Sonic: And I call that a bored beach bunny.

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic pulls his surfboard out with both his hands. He looks angrily over at Caninestein as he stops his Time Warp Boogie Board near him.'']
 * Sonic: Thanks a heap, Professor Caninestein! You really cowa-bungled that for me!

[''Caninestein, who is holding a book in both his hands, walks up to Sonic. He opens the book.'']
 * Caninestein: Sorry, Sonic, but I've got terrible news!

[On the page of the book is a picture of Sonic's family tree.]
 * Caninestein: Look at this! Your family history is being erased!

[''The pictures of Sonic's distant relatives disappear, until only the picture of Sonic himself remains. Caninestein closes the book.'']
 * Caninestein: And if you don't do something fast, you'll vanis along with them!
 * Tails: But how could this be happening?

[Sonic and Caninestein point their right index fingers at each other in unison.]
 * Sonic: Dr. Robotnik!
 * Caninestein: Your only hope is to go back in time to before he messes with your ancestors and stop him!

[Sonic points his right thumb at himself, then his right index finger at Caninestein.]
 * Sonic: I'm hip, Doc! Where are those time-space boots you invented?
 * Caninestein: Oh, they're yesterday's news.

[Caninestein points his left hand at the Time Warp Boogie Board, which Sonic and Tails look over at.]
 * Caninestein: This is the latest thing in time travel! I call it my Time Warp Boogie Board!
 * Tails: Way cool!
 * Caninestein: You'll be able to circle the planet at the speed of light and enter the time warp!

[Sonic and Tails run onto the Time Warp Boogie Board, and Sonic grabs the lever with both his hands.]
 * Sonic: In that case, let's boogie!
 * Caninestein: It's pre-set to take you to the proper time-space coordinates!

[''The Time Warp Boogie Board flies into the air, and the camera cuts to a view outside the planet Mobius as it circles it many times. Eventually, the planet flashes, and a view inside the time warp is shown as Sonic and Tails, both of whom are no longer wearing their bathing suits, travel through them.'']
 * Sonic: Up, over, and surf's up!

[''The screen transitions to a view of the desert of Ancient Mobegypt, and the camera moves over to the city. It then cuts to a view inside the city as various citizens walk the streets, and the camera moves over to the right side of the screen as Robotnik's time machine appears in the alley.'']
 * Robotnik: Ah, Ancient Mobegypt! Right on the money!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all run out of the time machine and peer out from behind the alley.]
 * Robotnik: Now all we have to do is find a very special relative of Sonic's, and that blasted hedgehog will be history!

[Robotnik tiptoes out of the alley, and Scratch and Grounder follow behind him.] [''The screen transitions to a view of a building site as Masonic, Sonic's Ancient Mobegyptian relative, is holding a bricklaying trowel in each hand. He scoops up some cement in the trowel in his left hand, and puts the cement in the trowel on the right. He then runs up to a small brick wall, and makes it bigger.'']
 * Robotnik: There he is! Masonic the Hedgehog!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder are all revealed to be hiding in wicker baskets as the camera zooms in on them.]
 * Robotnik: The fastest bricklayer in all of Mobegypt! According to history, on this very day, Masonic will meet Penelope and fall in... love!
 * Scratch: Love? Ewww!
 * Grounder: Gag me with a piston!
 * Robotnik: If we can stop them from meeting, they'll never marry! Won't have children, whose children won't have children, etcetra, etcetra, and then... ha ha ha ha! No Sonic!
 * Scratch: Don't worry, your evilness! We'll make sure those hedgehogs never meet! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch and Grounder climb out of their wicker baskets and run away. The camera cuts to a view of a Pig Vendor as a dog riding a camel moves past him. It then moves over to Penelope, who is running a chili dog stand.'']
 * Penelope: Chili dogs! Hot chili dogs!

[''Masonic, who is holding a trowel in his left hand, and a brick in his right, drops the brick and sighs. He then wipes his head with his right hand.'']
 * Masonic: Phew! Time for a break!

[Masonic tosses his trowel aside and walks away.]
 * Masonic: I could sure go for a chili dog right now!

[As Masonic walks towards Penelope's chili dog stand, the camera moves over to Grounder, who is dressed like an egyptian as he peers out from behind the alley.]
 * Grounder: Will you hurry up? He's about to meet her!

[Scratch, who is dressed like an Egyptian Woman, is holding a mirror in his left hand as he rubs his head with his right.]
 * Scratch: D'oh, don't rush me!

[Grounder rolls up to Scratch.]
 * Scratch: I gotta look just right so he'll be attracted to me!

[Grounder pushes Scratch forward with both his hands.]
 * Scratch: Ow-how-how!

[Scratch falls over, and waves his left hand at Masonic..]
 * Scrach: Hi, uh, Hi, you handsome hunk of a hedgehog!

[Scratch stands up.]
 * Scratch: How bout' taking me back to the casbah and laying some bricks! Ha ha!

[''Scratch picks up Masonic, who stares in shock at him, with both his hands and hugs him. Masonic jumps out of his arms.''].
 * Masonic: No thanks!

[Masonic tries to walk away, but Grounder rolls up to him and pushes him back with both his hands.]
 * Grounder: Hey, what's the matter? You don't like my sister?
 * Masonic: I've seen prettier mummies!

[Grounder's chest compartment opens, and a laser cannon rises out from it.]
 * Grounder: In that case, how bout' we just bury you in the nearest pyramid?

[The Time Travel Boogie Board suddenly appears, and lands on the ground below.]
 * Sonic: Now that's what I call a wave!

[Tails points at Masonic, Scratch, and Grounder with his right index finger.]
 * Tails: Sonic, look! It's Scratch and Grounder!

[Scratch and Grounder lead Masonic, who is holding both his arms in the air, into a tent.]
 * Sonic: And they're kidnapping my ancestor, Masonic!

[''Sonic pulls the lever back with both his hands, and the Time Warp Boogie Board moves forward. Inside the tent, Scratch and Grounder lead Masonic to Robotnik.'']
 * Robotnik: Excellent! We'll just keep him under wraps so he'll never meet his future bride!

[''Robotnik grabs a rope to his left side with his left hand and ties it around Masonic. Sonic then flies the Time Warp Boogie Board above Robotnik, who flinches.'']
 * Sonic: Not this time, Robuttnik!
 * Robotnik: Sonic?!

[''Sonic flies the Time Warp Boogie Board into Grounder, who grunts. Masonic spins, untying the rope and setting him free. Grounder flies through the air'']
 * Grounder: Whoa!

[''Grounder flies through the tent, and screams as he continues flying through the air, and into a field of camels. He grunts as he hits one in the butt and lands behind it.'']
 * Grounder: Uh, excuse me.

[''The camel looks angrily at Grounder and kicks his head with both its rear feet. Grounder screams as his head flies through the air. At a stand, a parrot vendor is holding a lamp in his right hand.'']
 * Parrot Vendor: Lamps, candlesticks!

[''Grounder's head lands on the table. The Parrot Vendor picks up Grounder's head with both his hands, then tosses it aside.'']
 * Parrot Vendor: Junk!

[''Sonic flies the Time Warp Boogie Board loop over Scratch, who flinches. Scratch screams, then yells in pain as Sonic lands it on him multiple times.'']
 * Tails: Cool ride, Sonic!
 * Sonic: That's nothing! Scope this move!

[''Sonic flies the Time Warp Boogie Board towards Robotnik, who screams as he stares in shock at him, then flinches, causing Sonic to miss him. Sonic jumps off the Time Warp Boogie Board, and it gets under the rug Robotnik is standing on. Robotnik growls, then screams as it flies him out of the tent, and through a pile of camel dung, with a sign that says, CAMEL DUNG atop it.'']
 * Robotnik: D'oh!

[''The Time Warp Boogie Board flies Robotnik through a tent with a sign that says, SWORDS AND KNIVES on it, and a sword juggler is seen standing in front of it. Robotnik grunts as he flies into and out of the tent. When he gets out, his clothes are torn. He then flies into an obelisk and groans in pain as he slides down it. Stars spin around his head, and he stands up wearily.'']
 * Robotnik: Oh, I feel like a truck hit me!

[The top of the obelisk breaks, and Robotnik groans as it falls on him.]
 * Robotnik: Make that an obelisk!

[Tails runs up to Sonic.]
 * Tails: You did it, Sonic! Now he can meet the girl and get married!
 * Sonic: Yeah!

[The Time Warp Boogie Board flies back to Sonic and Tails, who jump onto it.]
 * Sonic: What do you say we celebrate with a couple of chili dogs?

[''Sonic and Tails fly away on the Time Warp Boogie Board, and land it near Penelope's chili dog stand,w hich Masonic walks up to. Sonic jumps off the Time Warp Boogie board.'']
 * Penelope: Can I help you?
 * Sonic: Sure, babe!

[As Masonic walks up to Penelope's chili dog stand, Sonic holds up his right index and middle fingers.]
 * Sonic: Couple of chili dogs, mondo on the chili!

[Penelope holds up her right index and middle fingers.]
 * Penelope: Two chili dogs, coming up!

[''Penelope grabs the bowl with her left hand and the spoon with her right as she stirs. She then grabs the rightmost lid with her left hand and a spoon with her right. She scoops the beans inside it with her spoon, then pulls out a salt shaker with her left hand and shakes salt into the bowl. She then picks up the bowl with her left hand and stirs it with the spoon she is holding in her left. Both Sonic and Masonic tap their left foots impatiently.'']
 * Sonic: I'm waiting!
 * Masonic: And I can't wait any longer! I think I'll go get a felafel!

[''Masonic turns around and walks away. Penelope has a plate with a chili dog on it in each hand and hands them to Sonic, whose feet disappear as she walks away. Sonic turns to face Tails, who stares in shock as Sonic's legs disappear. He points his right index finger at Sonic.'']
 * Tails: Sonic, you're fading away!

[Sonic tosses the plates into the air in shock.]
 * Sonic: Oh no! Uh, I just caused Masonic to miss the babe! That means I'm never gonna be born!

[Sonic's body, and then his head disappear.]
 * Tails: Sonic! He's gone!

[''The camera cuts to a view of Robotnik and Scratch, who peer behind the alley as the camera zooms in on them. Robotnik laughs evilly.'']
 * Robotnik: Yes! He got rid of himself for me! Now I can get the Chaos Emerald of Immortality without being bothered by that little blue twerp!

[Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder all run out of the alley as Tails trembles in fear.]
 * Tails: Uh, what am I gonna do?

[Tails nervously bites on the fur of his left tail, which he holds in both his hands.]
 * Tails: What would Sonic do? Nothing; he doesn't exist now that Masonic never met Penelope! That's it!

[''Tails runs onto the Time Warp Boogie Board and pulls back on the lever with both his hands. He flies it past Masonic, who is at a stand with a sign that says, FELAFEL WORLD on it, holding a felafel in both his hands. Masonic grunts as the felafel falls out of his hands.'']
 * Masonic: My felafel!

[''Tails runs up to Masonic. He grabs his left arm with his right hand.'']
 * Tails: Forget your felafel! Chili dogs are in your future!

[''Tails leads Masonic onto the Time Warp Boogie Board, and flies it towards Penelope's chili dog stand. He then pulls the lever forward with both his hands, and Masonic flies through the air.'']
 * Masonic: Whoa!

[''Penelope stares at Masonic in shock and gasps. Masonic stands up and dusts himself off with his left hand. Hearts appear in his eyes as he stares lovingly at Penelope.'']
 * Masonic: Hello.

[Penlope picks up a plate with a chili dog on it with her right hand.]
 * Penelope: Chili dog?

[Masonic walks lovingly up to Penelope.]
 * Masonic: I'll take a dozen!
 * Tails: Yes!

[''Tails snaps the fingers on his right hand, and Sonic reappears next to him. Sonic looks around in amazement.'']
 * Sonic: Wow! Where was I?

[Tails waves his left hand at Sonic.]
 * Tails: Never mind!

[''Tails then points his right index finger, and Sonic runs off. Penelope stacks the plates of chili dogs atop each other, and Masonic stares lovingly at her as she does this'']
 * Tails: We gotta get robotnik before he gets the Chaos Emerald!

[Sonic then flies the Time Warp Boogie Board past Masonic and Penelope.]
 * Sonic: Right! Let's juice!

[''Penelope and Masonic stare lovingly at each other, and Masonic sighs as hearts spin around them. The screen then transitions to the next scene, where a view of the temple of Mobigypt is shown as the camera zooms in on it. It then cuts to a view inside, and moves over to Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder, the last of whom is shining a flashlight where his left drill would be on the Pharoah of Mobigypt.'']
 * Robotnik: For the last time, in which pyramid is the Chaos Emerald of Immortality buried?
 * Pharoah of Mobigypt: No, I'll never tell!
 * Robotnik: All right, give him the treatment!

[''Scratch's chest compartment is open. He reaches inside with his right hand and pulls out a feather as he removes the Pharoah's right shoe with his left hand.'']
 * Scratch: You asked for it!

[Scratch tickles the Pharoah's foot with the feather, and the Pharoah laughs uncontrollably.]
 * Pharoah: No, please!

[''The Pharoah continues laughing uncontrollably as Scratch continues tickling him. Scratch eventually stops, and turns to face Robotnik.'']
 * Scratch: It's no use, your sadisticness, he won't talk!

[Scratch points his right index finger at the Pharoah, and Robotnik runs up to him.]
 * Robotnik: Have it your way!

[Robotnik swats Scratch aside with his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: If you won't talk, I'll make myself Pharoah!

[Robotnik grabs the Pharoah's hat with his left hand, then walks away.]
 * Robotnik: And force all of my subjects to build pyramids,

[In the next scene, Robotnik is dressed like a pharoah and holding a scepter in his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: Until someone tells me what I want to know!
 * Grounder: All bow before his bloatedness, Pharoah Robotnik!

[''Scratch and Grounder bow at Robotnik. Sonic then flies the Time Warp Boogie Board into the temple.'']
 * Sonic: This hedgehog bows to no one!

[Tails points his right index finger at Robotnik.]
 * Tails: Especially a slobola like you!

[As Tails jumps off the Time Warp Boogie Board, Robotnik points his right index finger at Sonic.]
 * Robotnik: But you don't exist! You were never born!
 * Sonic: Oh, yes! Two pounds, three ounces. I was a cute little bouncing ball!

[''Sonic kicks the Time Warp Boogie Board with his left foot, and holds up both his arms. He catches the Time Warp Boogie Board in them, and points his left index finger at Robotnik.'']
 * Sonic: And you're an ugly bouncing blob!
 * Robotnik: Is that right?

[Robotnik claps his hands.]
 * Robotnik: Guards!

[''The Mobigyptian Guards, who resemble grey wolves, run up to Sonic and Tails, holding spears in their hands. One of them puts handcuffs on Sonic's ankles with both his hands.'']
 * Sonic: Hey!

[''Tails gasps as another Mobigyptian Guard puts handcuffs on his ankles. Sonic and Tails hold up both their arms as the Mobigyptian Guards lead them out of the temple. One of them is holding the Time Warp Boogie board in both his hands.'']
 * Robotnik: Take them to the pyramid with the others! Sonic the slave will be building monuments to me For the rest of his insignifigant life!

[''Robotnik laughs evilly, and the screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic, Tails, and Masonic are in the process of building a sphinx for Robotnik, and they all grunt as the push a block with both their hands. Beads of sweat pour down from Sonic and Tails' heads.'']
 * Tails: I don't know how much more of this I can stand, Sonic!
 * Sonic: Relax, little bro. It can't take that much longer to build this thing!

[Sonic looks over at Masonic.]
 * Sonic: Can it?
 * Masonic: With two million more blocks to place, I figure 20, 30 years tops!
 * Sonic: Huh?

[''Sonic stops, and turns to face the camera as it zooms in on him. The screen fades to black.'']