Road Hog/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Road Hog". [''The episode begins with an iris-in effect as Sonic speeds down the road. He passes by a billboard that says, STICK-O HAIR SPRAY and has a picture of a poodle holding a can of hair spray in her right hand. Sonic's speed removes the O from the sign and makes the poodle look frizzy. She even gives an angry look. A Dog officer peeks out from behind the sign, then rushes out, riding his motorcycle, and wailing its siren. The Dog Officer chases after Sonic, who also has Tails in tow.'']
 * Tails: Uh-oh! A policeman!
 * Sonic: Maybe there's an emergency!

[Sonic screeches to a halt.]
 * Sonic: Let's see what he wants.

[The Dog Officer catches up to Sonic and Tails and stops his motorcycle next to them.]
 * Tails: What's the trouble, officer?
 * Dog Officer: Excuse me, my radar clocked you at 200 miles per hour.
 * Sonic: Gee, I'm sorry. I didn't know I was going that slow!
 * Dog Officer: I'm gonna have to issue you a speeding ticket.

[''The Dog Officer is holding a pencil in his left hand. He reaches behind his tie with his right hand and pulls out a notebook, which he writes in with his pencil. In the next scene, he is holding his notebook in his left hand, which is now behind his back. He then grabs Sonic by his head with his right hand and turns him around to look at his backside.'']
 * Dog Officer: No tail lights, neither!

[''Tails gasps. The Dog Officer pulls out his pencil with his right hand and writes in his notebook.'']
 * Dog Officer: That'll be 250 Mobiums.

[The Dog Officer rips the paper off the notebook with his left hand and hands it to Sonic.]
 * Sonic: 250 Mobiums?

[Sonic holds the paper in both hands.]
 * Sonic: I don't carry that kind of money!
 * Dog Officer: We-ell, in that case, I'm gonna have to take you to town to see the judge!
 * Tails [whispering]: We could outrun him, Sonic.
 * Sonic: Yes, but that would be illegal.

[Sonic points to Tails with his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: The Judge will set things straight.

[The next scene shows a view outside the courtyard.]
 * Judge [heard offscreen]: I don't care who you are!

[In the next scene, Sonic, Tails, and the Dog Officer are inside the courthouse, and the Judge is revealed to be a mole.]
 * Judge: If you can't pay the fine, you'll have to do the time!

[The Judge bangs his gavel with his right hand.]
 * Judge: I hereby sentence you both to Thirty days on the chain gang. Take em' away!

[''The next scene takes place in a field, where Sonic and Tails are chained to a bunch of prisoners, who all resemble either camels or sheep. The prisoners have bags of seeds on their backs, and they plant seeds with their left hands.'']
 * Tails: Thirty days of hard labor for a speeding ticket?! I wonder what you get for a real crime!
 * Guard [heard offscreen]: Quiet!

[A guard, who is buff, has a giant nose, and is holding a baton in his right hand, walks up to Tails.]
 * Guard: Talking is a crime! Now you just got yourself an extra ten days on the chain gang!
 * Tails: Sorry.
 * Guard: That's another ten!

[''Before Tails can speak again, Sonic clamps his left hand over Tails' mouth. The Guard points to Sonic with his right index finger.'']
 * Guard: I hear you're real fast.

[Sonic nods his head, "Yes".]
 * Guard: Well, let's see how fast you are tillin' the soil!
 * Sonic: Uh, I don't think that's such a good idea.
 * Guard: Do it,

[The Guard presses his baton against Sonic's body.]
 * Guard: Or you'll be here even longer!
 * Sonic: If you insist.

[''The Guard pulls his baton away from Sonic. Sonic spins, towing Tails, and the Prisoners, who all grumble unintelligibly. He also covers the Guard in green slime, and the Guard coughs. He holds up his baton, which he is now holding in his right hand.'']
 * Guard: That's enough!

[''Sonic stops spinning and ties the other prisoners to each other. The Guard walks up to him and Tails and points to them with his left index finger.'']
 * Guard: That's another ten days on the chain gang, wise guy! Now go back to work!

[''A stench suddenly fills the air. Sonic sniffs, and he and Tails plug their noses with their right thumbs and index fingers.'']
 * Sonic: Ugh!

[Colonel Stench, who is a skunk, is holding a gardening hoe and digging as Sonic and Tails walk up to him.]
 * Tails: Excuse me, could you move downwind, please?

[Colonel Stench stops digging.]
 * Colonel Stench: Beg your pardon.

[''Colonel Stench walks away, but since he is chained to Sonic and Tails, he pulls them along. They all bump into each other.'']
 * Sonic and Tails: Whoa! Ugh!
 * Colonel Stench: You don't have to pretend you don't notice; I smell funny. It's a family tradition.

[''Sonic picks Colonel Stench up by the back of his shirt. Tails has plugged his nose with his left thumb and index finger.'']
 * Colonel Stench: Colonel Stench is the name. Glad to meet you.

[Colonel Stench holds out his right hand, but Sonic sets him down and plugs his nose with his right thumb and index finger.]
 * Sonic: Sonic the Hedgehog. Likewise, I think. Ugh!

[Colonel Stench picks up the flower between him and Sonic with his left hand.]
 * Colonel Stench: I breed flowers. Been trying for years to make a perfume that'd get rid of my stench, but as you can smell, nothing's worked.

[Colonel Stench holds the flower up to Sonic.]
 * Colonel Stench: Then I developed these. And then, strangers came from out of town and stole em' from me! Put me on this chain gang!
 * Tails: They're not very pretty, so why would anybody want to steal them?
 * Colonel Stench: Cause' their pollen does funny things to people's minds! I'll show you.

[Colonel Stench turns to Tails and blows the pollen from the flower in his face, causing him to sneeze.]
 * Tails: Achoo! Hey!
 * Colonel Stench: You are a chicken!
 * Tails: Don't be ridiculous! I'm a two-tailed...

[Tails jumps as the hypnotic effect takes place.]
 * Tails: Chicken!

[Tails starts flapping his arms and walking like a chicken.]
 * Tails: Bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk bawk! Bawk bawk bawk!
 * Sonic [heard offscreen]: Hey!

[In the next scene, Sonic is standing near Colonel stench, and points to Tails with his left index finger.]
 * Sonic: What have you done to my little buddy?
 * Colonel Stench: Relax, I developed the antidote, too.

[Colonel Stench reaches into his shirt with his right hand and pulls out a bottle of antidote.]
 * Colonel Stench: Keep it right here in case they try anything funny!

[''Tails pecks the ground with his tongue. Colonel Stench walks up to him and pours the antidote on his back. The hypnotic effect is neutralized, and Tails jumps and spits out seeds.'']
 * Tails: Ptoo! Huh? What happened?

[''Sonic walks up to Tails and Colonel Stench. He is holding the flower in his right hand.'']
 * Sonic: You were about to lay an egg!

[The Guard, who is now holding his baton in his right hand, walks up to Sonic, Tails, and Colonel Stench.]
 * Guard: That's another ten!

[''The next scene takes place at a processing plant. Inside the Plant, Scratch and Grounder are trying to carry cannisters full of Colonel Stench's hypnotic flower pollen.'']
 * Grounder: Oh, hurry it up, Scratch! Dr. Robotnik wants 500 of these pollen cannisters packed by noon!

[Scratch picks up one of the cannisters with both hands, causing pollen to emit from it.]
 * Scratch: D'oh, I don't know what the big deal is. This stuff doesn't look so special to me. Aaah, aaah... aaah.. aaah... aaah... aaah!

[''Scratch plugs his beak with his left index finger and thumb. Dr. Robotnik walks up to him.'']
 * Dr. Robotnik: Well, are we on schedule? Good! Once we load these cannisters into my Robo-blimp and spray the pollen over Mobius, I'll hypnotize the entire population into accepting me as their supreme dictator! Will you get your fingers out of your nose?!

[Scratch unplugs his beak, causing him to sneeze.]
 * Scratch: Oooh, aaah... aaah-aaah-aaah-choo!

[''Scratch's sneeze causes pollen from the cannister to fly everywhere, covering him, Robotnik, and Grounder in it. All that can be seen of them now are their eyes.'']
 * Robotnik: You robo-egghead! Didn't I tell you this pollen is dangerous?
 * Scratch: To be exact, you said, "If you mess up, I'll turn you into a pet robo-dog!".

[The pollen clears up and a hypnotic effect takes place over Robotnik, who stands on his hands and feet.]
 * Robotnik: Woof! Woof!
 * Grounder: Hey! You turned him into a dog!

[Robotnik pants.]
 * Robotnik: Awoo!

[Robotnik continues panting.]
 * Grounder: Okay, you can have a doggie biscuit. Here!

[''Grounder turns his left drill into a hand. He uses it to open the compartment on his belly button, reaches in, and pulls out a dog biscuit, which he tosses to Robotnik, who catches it in his mouth and chews on it.'']
 * Scratch: Bwahahaha! Now that he's under the hypnotic effect of his pollen, we can turn him into anything we want!

[Scratch snaps his right thumb and index finger.]
 * Grounder: Can we? Oh, boy! My turn! Ha ha ha! You're a trained seal!

[Robotnik turns into a seal.]
 * Robotnik: Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh! Oooh!

[''Robotnik slides away, then comes back, spinning a ball on his nose. Scratch waves his arms around Robotnik, turning him into an elephant.'']
 * Scratch: Ha ha! And now you're an elephant!

[''Stars spin around Robotnik. An exclamation point appears above him, and he trumpets.'']
 * Grounder: Oh, boy! I could do this all day!
 * Scratch: Yeah! Just make sure you don't get any of this antidote on him...

[''Scratch holds up a bottle of antidote in his right hand. The Elephant Robotnik pulls the cork off the bottle with his trunk and uses it to suck the antidote out of the bottle, neutralizing the hypnotic effects, and turning him back to normal.'']
 * Scratch': Whaaa!

[Scratch sweats and trembles nervously.]
 * Scratch: Or, we'll be two dead robots!
 * Robotnik [heard offscreen in a sing-song voice]: Oh, Scra-atch, Grounder, I've got a surprise for you!

[''Robotnik grabs Scratch by his neck with his left hand. He pulls him away, then is revealed to be holding Grounder in his right hand.'']
 * Grounder: Uh, let me guess; we're two dead robots?

[''Robotnik grunts as he tosses Scratch and Grounder into the air. The two robots fall into a chute and scream as they get dismantled. They end up on a conveyor belt in pieces. Robotnik walks up to the conveyor belt and picks up Scratch's beak with his left hand.'']
 * Robotnik: Next time you try something like that, I won't be so nice!
 * Scratch: Oh, thank you, your mercifulness!

[The screen irises out on Scratch's beak.]