Inn Sanity/Transcript

This is the transcript from the Sonic Boom episode, "Inn Sanity".

[Scene: Outside Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [Sticks is involved in a battle with Eggman's robots. She uses her bo to attack a group of charging Motobugs and dodges fireballs from Bee Bots. Sonic rushes over to help her. He runs up the wall and Homing attacks three Bee Bots. Amy breaks a Crab Bot with her hammer. A group of envelopes fly across her face. She looks over to Ballot Stuffer Bot. Knuckles dodges envelopes from the robot and punches it away, colliding with a Crab Bot approaching Sonic, breaking both robots. Sonic looks over to Amy, Knuckles and Sticks, then looks up to Obliterator Bot and a group of Bee Bots]
 * Sonic: [Presses his wrist controller] Hey, Tails. How's operation "make a big robot mess" coming along?
 * Tails: "Bob" as well as operation "come up with better names for operations", I can't get the Unbolterizer to fire.
 * [Tails stalls the plane, flies underneath it and bangs the Unbolterizer with his wrench, generating sparks. He pulls out a chicken stuck inside the weapon, stopping the sparks. He then presses a button on his wrist controller, firing the Unbolterizer. It directly hits Obliterator Bot, paralyzing it and all the connected Bee Bots. They all collapse to the ground. Eggman appears next.]
 * Sonic: Love to stay and help clean up but we weren't the ones who tried to lure you into a trap.
 * [Team Sonic jump on Tails' Plane and depart Eggman's Lair. Eggman grunts angrily.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Look at all this trash! Those dunderheads were supposed to haul it off three weeks ago! [He unloads a bazooka and tries to fire it at the trash before being interrupted.]
 * Orbot: Sir, rather than taking us all out in a blaze of glory, might I suggest you contact the requisite government entities?

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, Day]
 * [Mayor Fink is throwing pencils up in the ceiling when Eggman angrily barges through the door.]
 * Dr. Eggman: My trash should've been collected three weeks ago.
 * [Fink looks over his files and takes Eggman's file, reading it.]
 * Fink: You're in luck. This is an election year. I'll take care of it [Bangs his fist on the table] immediately. [More pencils come flying down from the ceiling, flinching him.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [Fennec Garbage Man and Mike the Ox clear the garbage via a wheelbarrow.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Eggman one, [The pickup shuts] trash zero.
 * [Eggman blows a party horn. Mike walks to Eggman holding the bill.]
 * Mike: Would you care to pay the fee now or by mail?
 * [Eggman snatches the bill and reads it.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Let me see that. [Crumples up the bill] This is highway robbery! No, I regret blowing the kazoo.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Angrily] You're charging me for trash collection? I thought the government was supposed to do things for free. That's why everyone else pays taxes.
 * Fink: The amount of garbage you have this month was way above the limit! So you have to pay a one time fee. If you don't, I'll foreclose on your evil lair!

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, the Living Room]
 * [Eggman is looking around his living room, peeking under the couch searching for money.]
 * Dr. Eggman: There's got to be money around here somewhere. Maybe I can get a few bucks for my particle accelerator. Nah, but I can never part with that. I made it in summer camp.
 * Orbot: My ice is just selling your Doomsday Device. You haven't used it since the beginning of season one.
 * Dr. Eggman: No I need to come up with a well-thought-out common-sense plan to raise the money I need. [Stands up] I know! I'll turn my evil lair into a resort hotel.
 * Orbot: And how are you going to find people who want a vacation in an evil lair?

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * Cubot: [Calling] Hurry, hurry, hurry! Step right up to see exotic birds designed to lure you into a sales pitch!
 * Orbot: [Angrily] Cubot, you're not supposed to tell them that!
 * Cubot: Oh, right. I forgot. [Calling] Attention everyone! There are no birds!
 * [Orbot groans and does a facepalm. Sonic and Tails walk in.]
 * Sonic: All right. What's Eggman's angle?
 * Orbot: He's turned his lair into a resort hotel to pay a small one-time garbage collection fee.
 * Sonic: Sounds like the writers are just phoning it in but just in case we better go check it out.

[Scene Change: Inside Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [Eggman has set up a key stall. Admiral Beaverton watches over him.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Ah, morning, Ad.
 * Beaverton: Morning doctor. Has today's paper arrived? I'm keen to read the cricket scores. [Eggman shows him the newspaper.] Smashing! [He reads it] Ah, apparently some Eggman fellow was going to open a hotel.
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm Eggman. This is the hotel.
 * Beaverton: Oh jolly good. When does it open?
 * Dr. Eggman: It is open! You're standing in it!
 * Beaverton: My word. I better scrub my shoe!
 * [Team Sonic arrive at Eggman's Lair]
 * Sonic: Party's over, Egghead. We're here to figure out your angle.
 * Dr. Eggman: There's no angle. I'm just trying to run a hotel.
 * Beaverton: A hotel?! My word! What is it open?
 * [Amy, Sonic and Tails move closer to Eggman.]
 * Dr. Eggman: It is open.
 * Sonic: But I guess you won't mind if we check in.
 * Dr. Eggman: I suppose not.
 * Amy: That's not the right attitude! You should have a cheerful rapport with your clientele, and logo pens.

[Scene Change: Roof of Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [Eggman serves Sheep Villager some juice. Amy, Sonic and Tails relax on sunbeds.]
 * Amy: No sign of evil-doing. Maybe Eggman was telling the truth.
 * Sonic: Yeah. One way to find out. [Slowly] Oh Egghead!
 * Dr. Eggman: Hmm?
 * Sonic: [Posh voice] Bring me a clookie jookie!
 * [Eggman grumpily brings a glass of juice beside Sonic. However, be takes his sunglasses off and notices something missing.]
 * Sonic: Where's the umbrella, and pineapple wedge?
 * [Annoyed, Eggman takes the drink away, adds the umbrella and pineapple wedge and give it back to Sonic.]
 * Tails: And I need like ten of those free notepads. I'm making a 3d paper model of a train.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Angrily] That's not what those are for?
 * [Knuckles walks in next to Eggman in a purple gown and headband.]
 * Knuckles: [Posh voice] Excuse me, boy. I'm going to need three more towels.
 * Dr. Eggman: You're already using too many!
 * Amy: You should be more accommodating to the needs of your guests if you want people to come back.
 * Dr. Eggman: I don't want any of you to come back. I almost have what I need to pay the mayor's extortion, and when I do, I'm taking all of you out!
 * [Leroy the Turtle walks in.]
 * Leroy: My pillows are gone.
 * Dr. Eggman: What do you mean they're gone?

[Scene Change: Inside Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [All the pillows are discovered inside a corridor of the lair. Sticks relaxes in them.]
 * Sticks: [Quietly] They'll never find them here. [Normally] It's nice and spacious. I could open a pillow hotel for the purple pillow people.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
 * [Mayor Fink is busy stamping files. Eggman walks in holding a bucket of change.]
 * Dr. Eggman: All right, I have your money you government goober. It wasn't even hard. I just turned my lair into a hotel.
 * Fink: You do know you need a permit to do that? :Dr. Eggman: Yeah, well. What are you gonna do, right? What's done is done. Life goes on.
 * Fink: [Hands out the bill to Eggman] Would you care to pay for the permit in fines now or by mail?
 * [Eggman snatches the bill and reads it. Growling, he crumples up the bill and bangs the bucket of change on the desk. More pencils fall down from the ceiling. ]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, Day]
 * Wild Cat: I'm staying here for a week, but I fear commitment. Can I have a different room every night?
 * Dr. Eggman: A different room every night?! [Bangs his fist on the desk] Are you out of your mind?! [Points to the door] Get out of my hotel!
 * [Sulking, Wild Cat walks to the door.]
 * Orbot: If you want to raise the money, you have to be nice to the guests.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Clenching his fist at Orbot] I'll be nice to you. Oh, wait, fine. I'll do it your way.
 * Fastidious Beaver: My television remote is filthy.
 * Dr. Eggman: Maybe your watch filthy! [Points to the door] Get out of my hotel!
 * [Grumpily, Fastidious walks away.]
 * Orbot: Much better, sir.
 * Beaverton: Evening doctor! Busy night?
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm working my tuchus off and I still don't have enough to pay the mayor.
 * Beaverton: Don't worry, old top. You'll get it, as surely as my face is capable of expressing complex emotions.
 * [He pauses. Suddenly, Cubot rushes in]
 * Cubot: Boss, I just heard some big news!

[Scene Change: Village Center, Day]
 * Dixon: Did you hear the big news? The new hotel is about to get secretly reviewed by a secret reviewer who writes secret reviews for secret review magazine!
 * Diane Aardvark: Yeah. Everyone's talking about it. It's really important in business number words Mr. name person.

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, Day]
 * Dr. Eggman: I seriously doubt that's how the conversation went but I've got to identify and impress that secret reviewer so I can make this place profitable and then shut it down.
 * [Admiral Beaverton walks away. Amy and Redd Heron walks in.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Gasps] That could be him. Quick you turnoffs, look dignified! [Smiles brings his arms out - pushing Amy - and talks to Redd Heron] Welcome to Eggman Towers!
 * Amy: Hey! I was next in line!
 * Dr. Eggman: You're unimportant.
 * Amy: But I just need a paperclip.
 * Dr. Eggman: This isn't the free paperclip store. Yah! Will you go away?!
 * Redd Heron: Is that how you talk to your guests?
 * Dr. Eggman: Uh no! Never! [Hands over a paperclip to Amy] Here's your paper clip madam. You have one too. It's our way of saying welcome.
 * Redd Heron: [Shows Eggman the paperclip] I do hope it's quiet here. Reservation under Redd Heron and I've had a chaotic week. I wish to relax.
 * Dr. Eggman: We pride ourselves on creating a serene, tranquil vacation environment.
 * [The next scene shows Child Monkey and Stratford chasing each other through the corridor into the HQ room. They run onto the couch and knock a lamp over, breaking it. They both collide into Redd Heron.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Nervously] We're also family friendly.
 * Redd Heron: I'm very particular about my accommodations. My line of work has me in many hotels.
 * [D.B. Platypus walks in.]
 * D.B.: [Slowly] Excuse me.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Angrily] Can't you see I'm busy with an important customer?! [Softly] I promise, no more interruptions.
 * [Lady Walrus walks in with hands on her hips.]
 * Lady Walrus: My children are hungry! I demand that you stop what you're doing and feed them at once!
 * Dr. Eggman: You demand?!
 * Lady Walrus: I am paying good money to stay at this hotel!
 * Dr. Eggman: [Growls] fine! You insufferable woman. I'll just stop what I'm doing and feed your ill behaved children.

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, Dining Hall, Day]
 * [Eggman and Redd Heron walk into the dining hall. He offers a seat to him and puts the napkin on his lap. He picks up a basket of bread and a glass of water and serves it to Redd Heron's table, ignoring the rest of the tables along the way.]
 * Sonic: Ahem.
 * Amy: Excuse me?
 * Tails: Can I?
 * Knuckles: [Putting his hand up] Ahe-he-hem...
 * Lady Walrus: Huh? Um...
 * D.B.: Ack. Ahem.
 * Dr. Eggman: How is everything?
 * Sonic: Mediocre!
 * Dr. Eggman: [To Sonic] Not you! Him!
 * Redd Heron: Mediocre. I'd give you a three out of ten if I was a reviewer.
 * Dr. Eggman: What? You're not a reviewer?
 * Redd Heron: No. I'm an insurance adjuster.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Snapping] Oh for crying out loud! You mean all this time I've been nice to you for no reason?! If you're not the reviewer, then who is?!
 * [Eggman looks around the room. He spots D.B. putting his head on his hand with a miserable look and screams. He offers a teapot to D.B.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Er, care for a spot of tea, sir?
 * Amy: Excuse me! We've been waiting forever!
 * Dr. Eggman: In a minute you harpy!
 * D.B.: I would love some tea. Decaf, though. I don't want to be too jittery today while I'm selling vacuum cleaners.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Puts the teapot on the table] Selling vacuum cleaners? They even a thing anymore? You're supposed to be a reviewer, then [Angrily] I'm wasting all my time on you inbeciles!
 * Lady Walrus: Well! This is the most appalling service I've ever had the misfortune of receiving, as you are a real rude man!
 * Amy: And I'm the reviewer!
 * Dr. Eggman: You?! Oh, this has been a fiasco. I guess I should just go with the old standby.
 * [Eggman presses a button on his Wrist controller. A UFO unveils a dome trapping the customers.]

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
 * [Mayor Fink is fast asleep on a chair. The phone rings and wakes the mayor up falling off his seat.]
 * Fink: Mayor's source, it's the mayor speaking.
 * Dr. Eggman: [On phone] I'm taking your village's prisoners. Get rid of my fees, or I'll get rid of them!
 * Fink: Uh, who is this? Hang on. I need to find my hospice negotiating hat. [He puts the phone down and looks around the mansion.]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, Dining Hall, Day]
 * [While Eggman is waiting for an answer on his phone, a boomerang hits his wrist controller and deactivates the dome. Sticks catches it. The rest of Team Sonic glare at Eggman.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Robots, attack!
 * [Motobugs and Bee Bots emerge though the door to combat Team Sonic. Everyone else runs away screaming. The Motobugs shoot missiles. Tails picks up his notepad, turns each sheet into a paper plane and throws them at the missiles breaking them. A Bee Bot fires an orb. Knuckles whacks two of them with his purple towels. He dodges an orb from another Bee Bot and swings his towel to attack it. A Motobug approaches him from behind but gets knocked over by a pineapple just before it fires a missile. The missile misdirects and hits the ceiling. Sticks throws kebabs at the next three Motobugs. She hits all of three of them knocking them back. Crab Bots emerge towards Amy, but she hits a switch with her hammer that unleashes a powerful wave blowing them back. She dodges a flamethrower from a Scorpion Bot by hiding behind the switch. Sonic spin attacks it, knocking it away. However the bot touches and activates the Doomsday Device.]
 * Eggman and Sonic: Uh Oh.
 * [The Device explodes the whole lair, blasting everyone up in the air. They all scream and crash land on the pillows except for Knuckles, who uses his towels to glide down safely.]

[Scene Change: Outside Eggman's Lair, Day]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Upset] What am I gonna do? I'm ruined!
 * Redd Heron: Not if I have anything to say about it.
 * Dr. Eggman: What are you talking about?
 * Redd Heron: Believing though it was based on misguided assumptions and plot contrivances, you treated me with kindness. So I've decided to approve an enormous insurance settlement to rebuild your lair and pay for all your permits and fines.
 * Dr. Eggman: Everything will be back to normal.
 * [The lair is rebuilt, but Eggman groans about his overloaded garbage pickup.]