Sonic Gets Thrashed/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Sonic Gets Thrashed".

[The episode begins with a view of a billboard that says, Robotnik's Resort, and depicts Robotnik water skiing and wearing a pink bathing suit and sunglasses.] Construction Worker Robot [heard offscreen]: Everything is right on schedule, Dr. Robotnik. Your luxury resort will be ready for the grand opening. All of Mobius is looking forward to it! [Robotnik is now seen standing next to the Contstruction Worker Robot, who is holding a pen in his right hand, and a clipboard in his left.]
 * Dr. Robotnik: Of course they are! Club Robotnik will be a vacation paradise, rivaling anything in the universe! Swimming, golf, tennis, the shopping channel.
 * Construction Worker Robot: I'm sure the citizens of Mobius will flock to it in drones!

[Robotnik is now holding a remote control in his right hand.]
 * Robotnik: Won't they? And that's the best part of all.

[''Robotnik presses the button on the remote with his left index finger. Club Robotnik is revealed to be encased in a giant dome, which closes.'']
 * Robotnik: Because once here, they can never escape! They become my slaves forever!

[Robotnik, who is now holding the remote in his left hand laughs evilly.]
 * Construction Worker Robot: It's your most diabolical, devious, and despicable plan yet!

[Robotnik puts the remote back in his right hand.]
 * Robotnik: It is nifty, isn't it? I haven't felt this good, since I invented the exploding church pew!

[''Robotnik presses the button on the remote with his left index finger. The dome above Club Robotnik opens, and Robotnik walks away, with the Construction Worker Robot. Meanwhile, Sonic runs through the desert, until he comes to a junkyard. There is a sign that says, SCRAP VALLEY. Sonic screeches to a halt near the sign, then cups his right hand to his right ear. Tails flies up to him, and lands near him.'']
 * Tails: Gee, what a creepy place! Where are we, Sonic?

[Sonic picks up the sign with his left hand and looks at it.]
 * Sonic: Says, "Scrap Valley". I don't know.

[Sonic tosses the sign aside.]
 * Sonic: Looks like some kind of junkyard!

[''Just then, Torch, a robot that resembles a welding torch, jumps out from behind a pile of scrap, and walks toward Sonic and Tails. Tails trembles in fear.'']
 * Tails: W-what was that?

[Torch spits fire twice.]
 * Sonic: Looks like a one-man weenie roast, kid! And me without a marshmallow! [To Torch] Hey, Dragon Breath! That's the worst case of heartburn I ever saw!

[Torch spits fire at Sonic and Tails, who duck to avoid getting burned.]
 * Sonic and Tails: Aaaah!

[Torch spits fire twice.]
 * Sonic: All right, hot stuff!

[''Torch spits fire twice again. Sonic stands up and punches in the air.'']
 * Sonic: Now I'm getting steamed!
 * Wallace A. Ditso [heard offscreen]: Come on, Torch! Chill out!

[Wallace A. Ditso is revealed to be a nerdy-looking robot, with a green shirt, a yellow neck tie, and glasses with tape on the handles.]
 * Ditso: Why, this is a red-letter day!

[Ditso shakes Sonic's right hand with his left hand.]
 * Ditso: Mr. Hedgehog, allow me to present myself!

[''Ditso reaches into his pocket with his right hand and pulls out a card, which he hands to Sonic, who now holds it in his left hand. The card says, DITSO 555-1908.'']
 * Sonic: "Wallace A. Ditso, master inventor."

[As Sonic talks, a bee flies, and lands onto his thumb.]
 * Sonic: "M.A., P.H.D., L.L.D., and... W.C.R."?

[''The bee flies off Sonic's thumb. Torch then walks up to Ditso.'']
 * Ditso: Ha ha ha! [snort] Way Cool Robot! Ha ha ha ha! [snort] Just my little joke, Mr. Hedgehog!
 * Torch: I still say we fry him!

[Ditso pushes Torch back with his left hand and points at Sonic with his right index finger.]
 * Ditso: Torch! Don't you know this is Sonic the Hedgehog? Remember, like in the wanted poster?
 * Sonic and Tails: Huh?

[Torch breathes fire irritatably.]
 * Ditso: You'll have to excuse my hothead friend. He thought you guys were Robotnik's men!
 * Tails: We thought that's what he was!
 * Ditso: Ha ha ha ha! [snort] Oh, my goodness, no! Ha ha ha! Well, that is, we both were, of course. But then we got tossed in this junkyard cause' we didn't work right!
 * Sonic: You mean you're defective robots?
 * Ditso: Well, hey! We prefer "Mechanically Challenged".

[As Ditso talks, he points to Torch with his left thumb.]
 * Ditso: You see, Torch here was supposed to be a totally awesome flamethrower superweapon! Unfortunately, heh, he's got a tiny temper problem.
 * Torch: I do not!

[''Torch shoots fire at Sonic and Tails, who duck to avoid getting burned. The fire flies into a tree, torching it.'']
 * Disto [heard offscreen]: See what I mean? Well, this seems to an opportune time to test my new fire extinguisher!

[''Ditso is now holding a fire extinguisher in his right hand. He walks up to the tree, and sprays it with the fire extinguisher. The tree turns into guacamole, then Sonic and Tails walk up to Ditso.'']
 * Tails: Hey, that tree turned into guacamole!
 * Ditso: Hmm, nah, that wasn't supposed to happen. Oh, well. I don't suppose you brought any chips.
 * Sonic: Fraid not!

[''Torch walks up to Sonic, Tails, and Ditso. He points at Disto with his right index finger.'']
 * Torch: And that's why this dweeb-bot is here in the junk heap; cause none of his lousy inventions work right!
 * Ditso: Hey! Go burn some toast, flame-face!
 * Torch: Oh, yeah? You gonna make me?

[Torch tries to walk up to Ditso, but Sonic holds him back with his left hand.]
 * Sonic: Now, now, guys! Break it up, or I'll report you to the principal! Are there any other around like you two?
 * Ditso: Oh, sure! Lots more! We all live here in the Scrap Valley! Come on, I'll show you!

[''Ditso walks away, and Sonic follows him. Tails trembles in fear, then runs away. The screen then transitions to the next scene, where various robots are seen travelling through Scrap Valley.'']
 * Tails [heard offscreen]: Gee, a whole village of reject robots!
 * Ditso: And every one of us got dumped by Robotnik, cause' of some teeny little flaw!

[O-Zone, a weather-making robot, is now shown.]
 * Ditso [heard offscreen]: O-Zone there is supposed to be a weather-making robot, except he can only make lousy weather.

[''O-Zone walks past Sonic, Tails, and Ditso, creating a snowstorm. Tails is now covered in snow, and yells unintelligibly, as he is muffled by the snow. Sonic then wipes the snow off Tails with both his hands.'']
 * Tails [shivering]: Thanks.
 * Sonic: Don't mention it!
 * Ditso: Peeper over there was gonna be a spiral-bot! He can see 200 miles away.

[Peeper, who is shown to be a robot with one eye, is seen rolling through Scrap Valley.]
 * Ditso [heard offscreen]: Trouble is, he can't see anything closer than that.

[Peeper rolls into a wall and crashes.]
 * Ditsto: Ha ha ha ha! [snort] Ha ha! He, he cracks me up! Now, over there...
 * Robot [heard offscreen]: Help!

[''Sonic, Tails, and Ditso turn their attention to the robot that just screamed. Chef Wolfgang Puke, a pig-shaped robot in a chef's hat and apron, who is also holding a frying pan in his right hand, is seen chasing the robot that screamed.'']
 * Chef Wolfgang Puke: I will cook you for dessert!
 * Sonic: Hey!
 * Ditso: I wouldn't bother. This happens every day. Yo, Wolfie! What's up?

[''The robot rolls away, while Wolfgang screeches to a halt. He points at the robot that ran away with his left index finger.'']
 * Wolfgang: That... pig of a dog of a swine insulted my special of the day!
 * Ditso: Sonic, this is Chef Wolfgang Puke. He was made to be Robotnik's personal gourmet chef.
 * Sonic: Wolf, my man! What's in the pan?
 * Wolfgang: Ha ha! Nothing less than my triumph! My culinary masterpiece!

[''Wolfgang pulls the lid off the pan with his left hand. Sonic stares at it in disgust.'']
 * Wolfgang: Rotten eggs, and mmm.... maggot surprise!

[''A bunch of maggots are seen squirming around in the pan filled with rotten eggs. Tails turns green and covers his mouth with his hands, then runs away.'']
 * Sonic [nervously]: Uh, looks yummy. Maybe later.

[Sonic holds out his hands like stop signs, and Wolfgang rolls away.]
 * Wolfgang: I'll save you some!

[Sonic wipes his head with his left hand in relief as Ditso walks up to him.]
 * Sonic: Let me guess; the world's worst cook?
 * Ditso: Wait till' you try his toejam on toast.

[''Just then, a jet engine can be heard from above. Sonic and Ditso duck.'']
 * Sonic: Aaaah!
 * Ditso: Hit the dirt!

[''Sonic looks up and sees one of Robotnik's planes fly by. He and Ditso stand back up, and Sonic dusts off his chest with both his hands.'']
 * Ditso: It's Robotnik's plane! I thought he was gonna drop more bombs!
 * Sonic: So it is old egg-face we heard before. Why's he bombing a garbage dump, anyway?
 * Ditso: You got me. Peeper says he's building some kind of humongous project north of the valley.
 * Sonic: He is, eh? Hmmm. Maybe this calls for a little investigating.

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where Robotnik's Robots are building club Robotnik. Sonic and Tails are hiding behind a bush to spy on them.'']
 * Tails: Looks like some kind of hotel or something, Sonic.
 * Sonic: Knowing Robotnik, it's more likely a roach motel!

[Just then, a huge shadow casts over Sonic and Tails, who then look up.]
 * Tails: Hey! Where'd the sun go?

[The shadow is revealed to have come from Robotnik's Blimpnik, a blimp resembling Robotnik.]
 * Sonic: It's Robotnik's blimpnik! You know, Tails, I think it's about time to do a little supersonic snooping!

[Sonic sees a girder curled into the shape of a loop that will send him running upwards.]
 * Sonic [heard offscreen]: Perfect! Stand back!

[Sonic holds out his right hand like a stops sign, then runs in place.]
 * Sonic: Up, over, and gone!

[Sonic runs on the girder, and lands on top of the Blimpnik's gasbag.]
 * Sonic: Ta-da!

[Sonic then holds his right index finger up as he turns to and speaks to the viewers.]
 * Sonic: Kids, don't try this at home!

[Inside Robotnik's Blimpnik, Robotnik, Scratch, and Grounder are watching a television screen, which the Construction Worker Robot shows up on.]
 * Construction Worker Robot: Your grudginess, the grand opening should proceed on schedule!

[The TV screen shuts off, and Robotnik turns to face Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Robotnik: Excellent! We'll have to find a way to level Scrap Valley!

[Robotnik walks away.]
 * Robotnik: I'm going to get the Plan B file. Don't touch those blueprints!

[As soon as Robotnik leaves, Scratch runs up to the blueprints and looks over them.]
 * Grounder: Huh? Hey, I saw that! I'm telling!

[''Just then, a knock at the door is heard. Scratch and Grounder run up to the door, and Scratch opens it with his right hand. Sonic, who is now disguised as a pizza delivery man, is holding onto the other side of the door with his right hand, and holding a pizza in his left.'']
 * Sonic: Pizza Hawk. Here's your pepperoni and cheese!
 * Scratch: We didn't order any pizza! You got the wrong blimp!

[Scratch tries to pull the door closed, but Grounder holds out his hands like stop signs.]
 * Grounder: Hey, wait a minute! I'm hungry!

[Grounder pokes his head out the doorway.]
 * Grounder: Oh, we'll take it! Put it on our tab!

[''Sonic jumps into the blimpnik, and hands the pizza to Grounder. He then holds out his right hand, hides his left hand behind his back, and taps his right foot.'']
 * Sonic: Ahem!
 * Grounder: Oh, uh, uh, right.

[Grounder turns to Scratch, who leans down to him.]
 * Grounder: He wants a tip.
 * Scratch [whispering]: I think I saw a quarter in the couch!
 * Grounder: Just be a second!

[''Sonic winks his left eye as Scratch and Grounder look through the couch. Grounder looks under a cushion, then tosses it aside, while Scratch is holding a cushion in his left hand. Scratch climbs up the couch to look behind, as Grounder jumps onto the couch to look through the interior. Scratch peers from behind the couch.'']
 * Scratch: Bwa! Wait a minute, nobody delivers to a blimp!
 * Grounder: Yeah, and besides, we're robots! We don't eat!

[Scratch and Grounder look at each other and sweat nervously.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: The hedgehog!

[''Scratch and Grounder scream and panic nervously as Sonic is now standing next to a lever. They now hold each other and tremble as they stand on an egg-shaped rug, and Sonic pulls the lever with his left hand, activating the trap door the rug is on. Scratch and Grounder scream as they fall through the trap door. Sonic removes his disguise, then runs up to the trap door and looks down through it, waving with his right arm.'']
 * Sonic: Watch that first step!

[Scratch and Grounder land with a crash.]
 * Sonic [to the viewers]: You know, I never did get that tip.

[''Sonic runs up to the table and picks it up with his right hand. He puts it into the right side of his body, which resembles a pocket. He runs in place, but before he can run away, a belt ties around his body.'']
 * Sonic: Hey!

[More belts tie around Sonic's wrists and ankles.]
 * Sonic; Ugh! Ugh Ugh! Oof! Oof!

[''The belts pull Sonic back, and he is now belted to the wall. Robotnik, who having returned, is standing at the control panel, and presses a button with his right index finger.'']
 * Robotnik: Going so soon, hedgerat? Why, the fun is just starting!

[''Robotnik laughs evilly as Sonic grunts, struggling to get out of the belts, but to no avail. The screen fades to black.'']