Don't Judge Me/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Don't Judge Me".

[Scene: Village, Night]
 * [Several villagers are standing around talking. The camera pans up to the night sky as Moth Bot suddenly flies into the scene. Moth Bot chases after several of the villagers, who run away screaming.]
 * Villager: Aah! Help me!
 * [Moth Bot comes to a halt, and the camera zooms in on Dr. Eggman sitting in the robot's cockpit. Eggman laughs maniacally, and pilots Moth Bot towards several villagers. Sonic runs after Moth Bot, pushing the swat-a-pult.]
 * Sonic: That Moth Bot is no match for my swat-a-pult!
 * [Sonic chases after Moth Bot and swats at it with the swat-a-pult. He looks down at his wrist communicator and starts talking into it.]
 * Sonic: Knuckles, we are code green for moth bait.
 * [Knuckles runs in front of Moth Bot, holding a giant lightbulb above his head.]
 * Knuckles: Hey, look at me! I'm having an idea!
 * [Moth Bot flies after the lightbulb as Dr. Eggman struggles with the robot's controls.]
 * Dr. Eggman: I need to model my robots after something that's not so easily distracted!
 * [Moth Bot begins following Knuckles and bumps into the lightbulb several times. Sonic runs behind it with the swat-a-pult as Sticks and Tails follow him in Tails' Plane.]
 * Sticks: Knuckles! You got a moth on your tail!
 * [Knuckles runs from Moth Bot, then turns around and runs the opposite direction, attempting to lead it elsewhere.]
 * Sticks: You can't trust moths. They read minds. Turn left!
 * [Knuckles turns to the left and runs into a wall.]
 * Sticks: No! My left! Oh, well. He's under the moth's mind control now. We have no choice but to destroy him.
 * Tails: I'll release the moth balls!
 * Sticks: Okay, fine. We have a choice.
 * [Tails releases several giant moth balls from his plane which hit Moth Bot, causing the robot to malfunction. Sonic hits Moth Bot with the swat-a-pult, and the robot falls to the ground, destroyed. Dr. Eggman looks around and grunts, then clutches his neck.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Ow! My neck! You cheated, Hedgehog!
 * Sonic: What? How do you cheat in a fight?
 * Dr. Eggman: Fight's over, cheater! Pull me out of this piece of junk! Be careful, I'm injured!
 * [Orbot and Cubot hover in, picking up Dr. Eggman and carrying him off.]
 * Sonic: Yes! Victory is mine!
 * Dr. Eggman: It's a tainted victory!
 * Sonic: Yes! Tainted victory is mine!

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, Daytime]
 * [Sonic and Tails are sitting on a bench, both eating a very long submarine sandwich. Wild Cat walks up to them, holding an envelope.]
 * Wild Cat: Excuse me, are you Sonic the Hedgehog?
 * Sonic: Ha, guilty as charged! So, what'll it be, kid? Autograph? You want your picture taken with me? Maybe a bite of this comically large sandwich, huh?
 * Wild Cat: You've been served. Dr. Eggman is suing you.
 * [Wild Cat hands Sonic the envelope.]
 * Sonic: Are you sure you wouldn't prefer a bit of sandwich?
 * [Wild Cat walks away.]
 * Sonic: Most of it's gonna go to waste.
 * [Sonic turns toward Tails.]
 * Sonic: Eggman is suing me? Nobody's going to take this seriously.
 * [The camera jumps to reveal Soar the Eagle standing nearby, filming a news report.]
 * Soar: It's the trial of the century that everyone is taking very, very seriously. This will ruin the life of whomever loses. Brought to you by Meh Burger!
 * [Soar takes a bit out of a burger.]
 * Soar: So, let's see if we can get a statement from the defendant.
 * [Soar pushes a microphone into Sonic's face.]
 * Sonic: The only thing I'm guilt of is being awesome!
 * Soar: You heard it, Sonic says he's guilty!
 * Sonic: Of being awesome!
 * Soar: Hey, who's the news reporter here?

[Scene Change: Courthouse]
 * [Sonic walks over to the table where Dr. Eggman, Orbot, Cubot, and T.W. Barker are sitting. Dr. Eggman is in a wheelchair and a neckbrace.]
 * Sonic: C'mon, Eggman, you're not fooling-
 * Dr. Eggman: Aah, help! Sonic's attacking me unprovoked again! Leave me alone, you brute!
 * [The jury, comprised of Mike the Ox, Lady Goat, Fastidious Beaver, and Lady Walrus, gasps in shock. Sonic sighs and walks back over to his table, where Knuckles is wearing glasses and going through a briefcase.]
 * Knuckles: Thanks for making me your lawyer! I couldn't be more proud if you'd done because you actually believed in me instead of because you think this trial is a joke!
 * Sonic: Well, I'm glad my contempt for the situation worked out for you.
 * [Knuckles attempts to take a bite out of a sandwich, but all the ingredients fall out before he can actually bite down. Knuckles sticks his hand between the bread in confusion.]
 * Knuckles: Where'd it go?
 * [Knuckles searches for the ingredients and accidentally slides his arm between the slices of bread, causing him to yell out in shock.]
 * Policeman: All rise for the honorable and lithium ion-powered Judge Bot.
 * [Judge Bot wheels onto the podium as Orbot and Cubot attempt to pull Dr. Eggman closer to the table, causing the Doctor to fall out of his wheelchair. The jury gasps again.]
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm okay!
 * Judge Bot: Let all who come before me know that I have been programmed to be fair and impartial, and to in no way favor Dr. Eggman, the great man who created me!
 * [Sonic looks over at Dr. Eggman and groans, causing Eggman to chuckle evilly. Judge Bot pounds his gavel on the podium repeatedly.]
 * Judge Bot: Why are there cockroaches on my bench?
 * [Judge Bot pounds the gavel some more as T.W. Barker walks up in front of the stand.]
 * T.W. Barker: T.W. Barker, your honor, council for the plaintiff. I intend to prove that Sonic T. Hedgehog willfully and maliciously attacked and permanently injured my client, Dr. Eggman.
 * Knuckles: Boo!
 * Judge Bot: Please refrain from such outbursts in my courtroom! Now, commence your opening statement!
 * Knuckles: That... Was my opening statement.

[Scene Change: Courthouse, Several minutes later]
 * T.W. Barker: Isn't it true that Dr. Eggman was attacked by Mr. the Hedgehog while doing nothing more than taking a leisurely evening drive in a harmless moth-shaped vehicle?
 * Sticks: Harmless? Eggman's robots destroy mountains! Level cities! Put songs in your head that you can't get out!
 * [Sticks jumps up on top of the stand and begins to dance.]
 * Sticks: [singing] If frogs had wings and snakes had hair, and automobiles went flying through the air- No more music!
 * [Knuckles looks over to Sonic, confused.]
 * Sticks: All Eggman's robots must be destroyed!
 * [The entire courtroom gasps. Sticks realizes what she has said, and looks over towards Judge Bot, embarrassed.]
 * Sticks: I mean... Heh, heh... Not you, your holiness.
 * [Eggman chuckles devilishly as Sonic puts his head in his hands.]
 * Sonic: Oh, boy.
 * T.W. Barker: Mister... Orbot, is it? Would you describe Dr. Eggman as kind, and honest?
 * Orbot: No, not really.
 * [Dr. Eggman growls angrily at Orbot.]
 * Orbot: Ooh, because those words aren't strong enough! He's kinder! And honest-est! Ooh, good save, Orbot.
 * Dr. Eggman: Turn off your internal dialogue switch, fool, and just show the film!
 * [Orbot presses a button on his mouth, causing his eyes to project an image onto the wall behind the podium. A black and white film plays, with Orbot and Cubot, dressed as children, swinging back and forth on a swing set as cheerful music plays. Dr. Eggman, who is pushing Cubot, turns toward the camera and smiles. Cubot's swing hits Dr. Eggman in the head, knocking him to the ground. Dr. Eggman begins to yell at Cubot, but catches himself, smiling at the camera again. Eggman continues to push Cubot as the film ends. The members of the jury sniffle and wipe away tears as Dr. Eggman chortles. Cubot hovers over to Dr. Eggman, dressed in a pink leotard and holding a giant lollipop, both of which he had in the film.]
 * Cubot: Boss, now that we're done faking that evidence, you want I should return this stuff to the costume shop?
 * [Eggman growls at Cubot.]

[Scene Change: Courthouse, Several minutes later]
 * Sonic: Finally, a witness I can rely on!
 * T.W. Barker: Could you tell us what it is you admire about Sonic the so-called "Hedgehog"?
 * Tails: So many things! He's fast, he's cunning... He can destroy any opponent with a single Spin Dash! He's got a lovely singing voice...
 * T.W. Barker: My, he sounds like the total package!
 * Tails: You bet!
 * T.W. Barker: If "total package" means a fast, crafty menace to society bent on the destruction of anyone who disagrees with him!
 * Sonic: Oh, man...
 * Tails: I never said that!
 * T.W. Barker: That's right, I left out "lovely singing voice".
 * [The jury chuckles amongst themselves.]
 * T.W. Barker: Now, these "opponents" that Mr. the Hedgehog mercilessly destroys; can you name one that he battles with a regularity that borders on formulaic?
 * Tails: Um, I guess he battles Eggman a lot.
 * T.W. Barker: A-ha! How long did you think you could keep that from us?
 * Knuckles: Objection, your majesty! We're losing!
 * Judge Bot: Overruled! But yes. Yes, you are. Badly.
 * T.W. Barker: I rest my case!
 * Knuckles: That guy's good! You should hire him as your lawyer!
 * Sonic: I'll be fine! People know the truth about me!
 * [Cut to the set of the Comedy Chimp Show, where Comedy Chimp is talking to the audience.]
 * Comedy Chimp: And the number one reason you might get attacked by Sonic the Hedgehog: you've been telling jokes about him all week on your late night show.
 * [Comedy Chimp looks to his left.]
 * Comedy Chimp: Uh-oh.
 * [Yackety Sax, the theme from the Benny Hill Show, begins to play as Comedy Chimp is chased by someone in a Sonic the Hedgehog costume. Comedy Chimp stops and looks at the audience again.]
 * Comedy Chimp: We'll be right back. Unless Sonic puts me in the hospital. Heh heh!
 * Offscreen Individual: You, sir, are fearless in your comedy! Hey-oh!

[Scene Change: Courtroom, Several minutes later]
 * Knuckles: Well, now. I'm just a simply country lawyer. I'm not as sharp as Mr. Barker, here. I don't know how to do that fancy lawyering. Heck, I don't know how to do simple things, like putting on mittens! I don't even know which end of the toothbrush goes in your nose! Why, I'm dumb as a rock! Just like you good folks!
 * [The jury growls angrily as Sonic puts his head in his hands and sighs.]
 * Knuckles: The defense calls... Knuckles!