Fast and Easy/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Fast and Easy".

[''The episode begins with Sonic running through the forest. He screeches to a halt, then walks slowly as the sound of Robotnik's Egg-O-Matic hovercraft can be heard. He looks behind a bush, and Tails flies up to him. The camera moves down to Grounder, who is piloting the Egg-O-Matic, with two miniature Egg-O-Matics attached to its left and right sides, as Scratch, who is holding a walkie-talkie in his right hand, signals him with his left hand. The Egg-O-Matic is carrying a large box labelled, TOP SECRET TRAP.'']
 * Tails: Check it out! A top secret trap! Robotnik's never tried one of those before!

[Sonic points his left thumb at himself.]
 * Sonic: Yeah, I'm kinda flattered!
 * Scratch: Let her down gentle! Slow, slow, slow-ho-ho!

[Scratch stares in shock as the box is about to fall on him.
 * Scratch: No-ho-ho-ho-hoo!

[''The box falls on Scratch, flattening him. Scratch squawks angrily as the camera zooms out on him.'']
 * Scratch: Wrong, wrong!
 * Grounder: Oh, picky, picky, picky!
 * Tails: Something top secret could be really dangerous! Let's just go around them!
 * Sonic: You're right, little buddy! We'll just avoid em' all together!

[Sonic gears up to run, then stops.]
 * Sonic: No, I can't do it! Curiosity's got the best of me! I gotta find out what Robotnik's got in that crate to catch us!

[''Sonic turns to look behind the bush, then Tails sighs and shrugs his shoulders dejectedly. The camera moves over to Scratch and Grounder, the latter of whom is out of the Egg-O-Matic.'']
 * Scratch: Anybody watching?

[Grounder is now holding a remote control in his right hand.]
 * Grounder: I am!
 * Scratch: D'oh! Anybody with brains?
 * Grounder: Um, nope!
 * Scratch: Then activate!

[''Grounder presses the button on the remote with his left drill, and the box rumbles. Scratch and Grounder scream and run away as the box opens. Inside the box is a forest-like landscape, which Scratch points his right index finger at.'']
 * Scratch: Now test!

[Grounder presses the button with his left drill, and the box closes.]
 * Scratch: Bwahahaha! He's not going to escape that!

[Grounder laughs.]
 * Grounder: Never!
 * Sonic: Wanna bet, bots?

[''Scratch and Grounder stare in shock as Sonic is leaning against the box by his right hand. The camera zooms in on him, then Scratch waves his left hand at him.'']
 * Scratch: Go away, Hedgehog!
 * Grounder: Yeah, get lost!

[Sonic walks up to Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Sonic: Hey, Robuttnik paid major Mobiums for this! If you want to catch me with it, you should welcome my suggestions!

[Scratch points his left index finger at Sonic.]
 * Scratch: What makes you think this trap's for you?
 * Sonic: Every trap's for me!

[Grounder nods his head, "No" at Sonic.]
 * Grounder: Oh, no! Not this one! This time we got an important guy to catch!

[Sonic looks slyly at Grounder.]
 * Sonic: I get it! It's a trick! You're making me think you really don't want me, so I'll let my guard down, right?

[Grounder waves both his drills and nods his head, "No" at Sonic.]
 * Grounder: Nope. We really don't want you!

[Scratch points his left index finger at Sonic.]
 * Scratch: Look, Hedgehog, we can't waste any more time talking to a has-been! Go away, vamoose, don't call us, we'll call you!

[''The camera cuts to a view of Sonic, who stares in confusion, and zooms in on him as he stares in anger. The screen transitions to the next scene, Sonic is standing behind the bush.'']
 * Tails: I don't get it, Sonic! Who's more important than you?

[Sonic points his left index finger at Tails.]
 * Sonic: Good question, kiddo. And we're about to find out!

[Scratch and Grounder are staning behind a tree, and Scrath is holding a telescope in both his hands, which he looks through with his right eye.]
 * Sonic: Our victim's steppin' on the fake grass!

[A view through Scratch's telescope is now seen as a pair of legs wearing purple pants walk through.]
 * Scratch: He's passin' the fake rocks!

[Grounder is now holding the remote in his left hand.]
 * Scratch: He's right in position! Spring the trap!

[Grounder presses the button with his right drill, and the box closes over the mysterious figure inside.]
 * Grounder: Ha ha ha ha! We got him! We got him!

[Sonic spins and runs through the box, breaking holes in it.]
 * Tails: Sonic saved him! Sonic saved him!

[''Tails jumps into the air and holds up his left thumb. The camera zooms in on him.'']
 * Tails: Whoever it is!
 * Grounder: How are you gonna explain this to Dr. Robotnik?
 * Scratch: No problem! I'll just tell him it was your fault!

[''Sonic runs up to Tails, and is now holding Easy Eddie in both his arms. He sets him down.'']
 * Sonic: Okay, pal! You're safe!

[Eddie points his right index finger at Sonic.]
 * Easy Eddie: Next time, you little buttinksi, save me slower!
 * Sonic: What?
 * Eddie: I hate speed! It gives me a headache!
 * Sonic: Look, slow-mo! Speed just saved you from Robotnik!
 * Eddie: I don't need your help! I can handle my own hassles!

[Sonic and Tails look at each other, then Sonic points his left index finger at Eddie.]
 * Sonic: Who are you, anyway?
 * Eddie: Lucky you! You just met the famous Easy Eddie!

[Eddie holds out his right hand, and Sonic tries to shake it with his right hand, but Eddie pulls it away and laughs as he pushes his hair back with it.]
 * Eddie: Sucker!
 * Tails: How come Robotnik's badniks wanted to catch you more than they wanted to catch Sonic?

[Eddie yawns and stretches as he covers his mouth with his right hand.]
 * Eddie: None of your business, brat!

[Eddie grabs Tails' left tail with his right hand.]
 * Eddie: Ever think about plastic surgery to fix those, uh, freaky tails?

[Tails grabs his tails with both his hands and pulls them away.]
 * Tails: What?

[Sonic turns to face Tails, then points his left hand at Eddie.]
 * Sonic: You know, you're pretty rude!
 * Eddie: I'm not rude, I'm hungry! When's lunch?

[Sonic points his right thumb beside himself.]
 * Sonic: We got some chili dogs back at camp!

[Eddie holds out both his hands like stop signs.]
 * Eddie: Chili dogs? Yuck! Barfage!

[Eddie points his right index finger at his mouth and gags.]
 * Eddie: I hate chili dogs! I'm history!

[''Eddie walks away, knocking Tails over in the process. Tails grunts as he falls, then holds up his left index finger.'']
 * Tails: Hey, watch where you're walkin'!

[Eddie turns to face Tails and holds up his right index finger.]
 * Eddie: Next time, don't stand in my way!

[Sonic turns to face Eddie.]
 * Sonic: Hey! How come they call you "Easy Eddie" when you're so hard to get along with?
 * Eddie: Easy! Cause' I always find the easy way to the easy buck! See you!

[Eddie walks away and chuckles.]
 * Eddie: Woldn't want to be you!

[Sonic turns to face Tails, grabs his left wrist with his right hand and his right wrist with his left hand, and pulls him up.]
 * Sonic: Well, we know one thing for sure; Robotnik isn't after him for his charming personality!
 * Tails: Yeah! But why would even Robotnik want a creep like him?

[The screen transitions to a view outside Robotnik's fortress, which the camera zooms in on.]
 * Dr. Robotnik: What? You let Easy Eddie escape my top-secret trap? Klutz-bots! Brain-dead bolt heads! Dim-witted... uh...

[Robotnik stutters.]
 * Grounder: Oh, we'll catch him next time, your pudginess! We promise!

[Grounder bows down and kisses Robotnik's left foot.]
 * Robotnik: You'd better! I need that ring he's wearing so I can conquer Mobius!

[Scratch pokes Robotnik's body with his right index finger.]
 * Scratch: Excuse me, Dr. Robotnik, we may be dumb, but even we know a measly little ring can't conquer a whole planet!
 * Robotnik: This one can!

[''Robotnik walks up to his computer and presses a button on the control panel with his right index finger. An image of the Chaos Emerald Ring is shown on the screen.'']
 * Robotnik: The most powerful Chaos Emerald on Mobius is set in this ring!

[''Scratch and Grounder stare at the image of the ring in awe. A view of the Secret Zone, resembling the Special Stage from Sonic 1, is shown.'']
 * Robotnik: Deep within the Secret Zone of Mobius is an activation altar!

[A view of a right hand placing the Chaos Emerald Ring in the activation altar is shown.]
 * Robotnik: When I place the Chaos Emerald Ring in its exact center,

[''Sparks emit from the activation altar. A view of Mobius, with the caption, THIS IS A SIMULATION ONLY is now shown on the screen as the camera zooms in on it, and Mobius sinks into the water.'']
 * Robotnik: Anytime I want, I can make a hundred square miles of Mobius sink into the sea!

[Robotnik pounds his left fist on the control panel.]
 * Robotnik: Once I've disposed of a country or two, the rest of the planet will surrender instantly!
 * Scratch: Leapin' lugnuts!

[Scratch points his right index finger at Robotnik.]
 * Scratch: That's some ring!
 * Grounder: Yeah! Why'd you let that ferret kid have it?
 * Robotnik: Let him? Who said I let him?

[''Robotnik flexes his mustache angrily at Grounder. Scratch holds out both his hands like stop signs.'']
 * Scratch: D'oh, not me, him!

[Scratch points his right index finger at Grounder.]
 * Scratch: He said, "Let him"!

[Scratch points his left thumb at himself.]
 * Scratch: I would never say "Let him"! I would never even think about saying "Let him"!

[Robotnik points his right index finger at Scratch.]
 * Robotnik: Shut your trap!

[Robotnik presses a button on the control panel with his left index finger, and Eddie is shown on the screen as the camera zooms in on it.]
 * Robotnik: The more I think about that Easy Eddie, the madder I get! I had the Chaos Emerald Ring in my possession, I was only minutes away from total conquest!

[Steam emits from Robotnik's ears.]
 * Robotnik: And that sneaky little street slime picked it from my pocket!

[In the next scene, Sonic is at the campsite, picking up firewood with both his hands as Tails, who has now removes his right shoe and sock, is sitting on a rock and holding his right sock in his right hand.]
 * Tails: Hey, Sonic, have you seen my eleven mobium lucky coin? It's not in my secret hiding place!

[Sonic runs around the firewood, forming it into a campfire, and creating a cloud of dust.]
 * Sonic: Maybe it fell out!

[Tails is now holding his right shoe in both his hands.]
 * Tails: No way! I've tramped all over Mobius with it, and it's never fallen out!
 * Sonic: So when't the last time you know you had it?
 * Tails: Uh, let's see... uh, I think it was... just before that Easy Eddie guy bumped into us!

[Sonic points his left index finger at Tails.]
 * Sonic: Hey, you don't think...

[Tails is now holding his right sock in his right hand as he jumps off the rock.]
 * Tails: I do think! Easy Eddie picked my sock!

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where Sonic runs down the road, with Tails flying alongside him. Tails points his right index finger in front of himself.'']
 * Tails: There, Sonic! Easy Eddie's tracks take that road to the left!
 * Sonic: That coin-cyping slimebag! Just wait till' I get my mitts on him!

[''Sonic and Tails come to a fork in the road and turn to the left side. Two school kids (one in a red hat, light blue shirt, and green pants, and one in a purple beanie and red overalls) are at a bus stop, and the camera zooms in on them. Eddie walks out from the bush behind them, and they turn their attention to him.'']
 * Eddie: Hey, um, how far is the next town?
 * School Kid #1:  Um, two miles, but if you want to wait for the school bus, you can hitch a ride!
 * Eddie:' Thanks, but I need the exercise!

[As Eddie pats the first School Kid's hat with his right hand, he takes an apple from his lunchbox with his left hand and hides it behind his back.]
 * Eddie: You've been real helpful!

[''The school bus pulls up to the bus stop. The two school kids get on it, and the school bus drives away. Eddie waves his right hand at the school bus.'']
 * Eddie: Have a... uh, a good day at school! Ha ha! Suckers!

[''Eddie eats the apple. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Robotnik is piloting the Egg-O-Matic hovercraft, with Scratch riding in the right miniature Egg-O-Matic, and Grounder, who is holding a telescope in his left hand, riding in the left one. Grounder looks through the telescope with his left eye, and points below with his right index finger.'']
 * Grounder: I see him, your kinkiness! Ha ha! I see him! Down there in the forest clearing!

[''A view through Grounder's telescope is shown. In it, Eddie is seen sitting against a tree, eating the apple he is holding in his right hand.''
 * Robotnik: Excellent! We'll take cover behind that cloud!

[Robotnik points his left index finger at a cloud, which he flies the Egg-O-Matic behind.]
 * Robotnik: Didn't I tell you we'd be successful if I took personal charge of this search?

[A tear emits from Robotnik's right eye, and he wipes it off with his right index finger.]
 * Robotnik: It's times like this the astounding depth of my evil genius overwhelms me! First, we send down a blast of sleeping gas!

[''Robotnik pulls the lever back with his right hand, and a hose lowers from the Egg-O-Matic. As Eddie eats the apple, the hose blows sleeping gas at him. Eddie screams and falls over. Robotnik then pulls the lever back and forth, and a dustpan emerges from the right miniature Egg-O-Matic, and a broom emerges from the left miniature Egg-O-Matic.'']
 * Robotnik: Attention, all pilots! Swoop and scoop!

[''Robotnik pulls the lever back with his right hand, separating the three Egg-O-Matics. Scratch and Grounder fly their Egg-O-Matics down to Eddie, and Grounder points his right drill at Scratch.'']
 * Grounder: Now?

[Scratch holds up his left index finger.]
 * Scratch: Now!

[''Scratch pulls his lever back with his right hand, as does Grounder. They succeed in sweeping Eddie into the dustpan.'']
 * Eddie: Whoa!
 * Grounder: Sweeper to Scooper! We got him!
 * Scratch: Scooper to Sweeper! Return to base!

[''Sonic runs into the dustpan, then runs out. He is now carrying Eddie in both his hands, and sets him down near a boulder, which he picks up with both his hands. He runs back into the dustpan, then out of it again. Scratch and Grounder fly back up to Robotnik.'']
 * Scratch: Easy Eddie's a lot heavier than he looks!

[Grounder chuckles.]
 * Grounder: So what? This is great! I bet we get a promotion for this!
 * Scratch: Yeah! Maybe we should even ask for... a salary! Bwahahaha!
 * Grounder: Not me! I'd rather ask to get paid every week!

[Sonic is now holding a bowl of water in his right hand, which he splashes Eddie with.]
 * Eddie: Hey!

[Eddie coughs as he shakes his head.]
 * Eddie: Where am I?

[Eddie turns to face Sonic.]
 * Eddie: Uh, didn't I tell you I could handle myself? What do you think you're doin'?
 * Sonic: Wrong question, slow-mo!

[Tails points his left index finger at Eddie.]
 * Tails: Yeah! We want to know what you did with my lucky coin!

[Eddie turns to face Tails.]
 * Eddie: Coin? Uh, what coin?

[Sonic reaches into Eddie's right back pants pocket with his right hand and pulls out Tails' coin.]
 * Eddie: Ow!

[Sonic is now holding the coin in his right hand.]
 * Sonic: This one!
 * Eddie: Hmmm. Uh, how... how did it get in there?

[Sonic points his right index finger at Eddie.]
 * Sonic: Just what are you up to? Why is Robotnik always on your tail?
 * Eddie: I told you once, I'll tell you again; none of your business!

[''The camera cuts to a view of the cloud and zooms in on it. Inside the cloud, Robotnik is holding the boulder in both his hands.'']
 * Robotnik: A rock?! You brought me a rock?!

[Robotnik growls as he tosses the boulder at Scratch, who stares in shock at it.]
 * Scratch: Whoa!

[Scratch ducks just in time to avoid getting hit by the boulder.]
 * Grounder: Um, uh, it's a really nice rock, Dr. Robotnik!

[Robotnik growls angrily, then pulls the lever back with his right hand, cutting off power to Scratch and Grounder's Egg-O-Matics, and causing them to fall.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho!

[''Scratch and Grounder land in the bushes below, and scream and groan in pain as they crash. Sonic, Tails, and Eddie all turn their attention to it.'']
 * Tails: What?
 * Sonic: What was that?

[Sonic runs away, and the camera moves to the right side of the screen, until it reaches the wreckage of Scratch and Grounder's Egg-O-Matics.]
 * Grounder: I don't see why Dr. Robotnik had to get so upset!
 * Scratch: He needs that Chaos Emerald Ring Easy Eddie stole from him so he can conquer Mobius!
 * Grounder: Oh, yeah! I forgot! So he can sink a hundred square miles of the planet anytime he wants! Ha ha! You gotta admire a guy with goals!

[''The camera zooms out on Grounder, then moves to the left side of the screen, where Sonic is hiding behind a bush, having heard the entire thing. He runs back to Tails and Eddie, and looks at the Chaos Emerald on Eddie's right ring finger.'']
 * Sonic: So that's why Robotnik is after you! it's that ring!

[''Eddie grunts as Sonic grabs his right arm with his right hand. A view of the Chaos Emerald Ring is shown, and a light shiness off it. Eddie pulls his right arm back, causing Sonic to stumble back.'']
 * Eddie: Watch it, Hedgehog!
 * Sonic: Hey!
 * Eddie: Don't touch the merchandise!

[Robotnik is now flying his Egg-O-Matic, which has a loudspeaker below it, and holding the microphone to it in his right hand.]
 * Robotnik: Attention, Easy Eddie! I know you're down there, so listen closely; wherever you go, I'll be after you, so make it easier, Easy! Surrender now!
 * Eddie: Hmmm. Maybe I can make a deal with him. A rich and easy deal!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Eddie.]
 * Sonic: No way! I'm gonna take that ring someplace that Robotnik can never find it!

[Sonic grabs the Chaos Emerald Ring ing with his left hand and tries to pull it off, but to no avail.]
 * Sonic: It won't come off!
 * Eddie: Yeah, I know! It's stuck!

[Eddie points his left thumb at himself.]
 * Eddie: I'm stuck with it, and you're stuck with me, Hedgehog!
 * Tails: What?
 * Robotnik: If you don't surrender in five seconds, Easy Eddie, I will defoliate this forest and find that ring in its ashes!

[Robotnik fires a flame at Sonic and Eddie, knocking them down.]
 * Sonic: Yikes!
 * Eddie: Ow!

[Sonic flinches.]
 * Sonic: This isn't gonna be easy!

[The screen fades to black.]