Pseudo Sonic (episode)/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Pseudo Sonic".

Note: Scenes that were cut from certain reruns are highlighted in red .

[The episode begins outside Robotnik's fortress on a dark and stormy night.]
 * Dr. Robotnik: At last! An invention that will destroy that meddlesome hedgehog once and for all! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Pseudo Sonic, a robot that resembles Sonic, stands atop a rising platform.]
 * Robotnik: My Pseudo Sonic, a robotological breakthrough, which can duplicate Sonic stunts and Sonic speeds!

[Robotnik turns to Lawrence, a grey lab rat in a green sweater.]
 * Robotnik: And you, Lawrence, as my favorite lab rat, you get to drive it!

[''Robotnik grabs Lawrence with his right hand and pulls him away. Pseudo Sonic's chest door is now open.'']
 * Lawrence: Aaah! Drive it where?
 * Robotnik: Ha ha ha! Pseudo Sonic will scour all of Mobius, robbing, pillaging, plundering, doing evil like it's never been done before! And all the while, runing Sonic's reputation so he'll never be able to show his face again!

[Robotnik laughs evilly, then tries to push Lawrence into Pseudo Sonic, but Lawrence holds back.]
 * Lawrence: Aaaah! Please! I don't want to make Sonic look like a criminal!
 * Robotnik: What?!

[Robotnik grabs Lawrence, and smoke emits from his ears.]
 * Lawrence [heard offscreen]: You see, Dr. Robotnik, I shouldn't, I can't, I won't!

[Robotnik pulls Lawrence towards him.]
 * Robotnik: Oh! Oh, yes, you will!

[Robotnik walks towards a screen, revealing a prison that Lawrence's parents are in.]
 * Robotnik: Take a look in here!
 * Lawrence: Mom! Dad!

[Lawrence's Dad waves to Lawrence with his right hand, and Lawrence's Mom waves to him with her left hand.]
 * Lawrence: You're not gonna hurt them, are you?
 * Robotnik: I'm just going to give them an opportunity to test another little device I've been working on!

[''Robotnik pulls a lever on the control panel next to the window with his left hand. The trap door in the prison opens, and a giant missile rises from it, pointing itself at Lawrence's Parents.'']
 * Robotnik [heard offscreen]: My Surface-to-Sonic missile!

[Robotnik and Lawrence are now seen looking through the window again.]
 * Robotnik: Only this time, it's programmed to go after your Mom and Dad!

[Streams of tears emit from Lawrence's eyes.]
 * Lawrence: No! Mom! Dad!

[Lawrence's Dad waves to Lawrence with his right hand, and Lawrence's Mom waves to him with her left hand.]
 * Lawrence: Stop it! Please! I'll do anything!
 * Robotnik: Anything?
 * Lawrence: Yes.
 * Robotnik: Excellent. I knew you'd see it my way!

[Robotnik walks towards Pseudo Sonic.]
 * Robotnik: Now, where were we? Ah, yes!

[''Robotnik puts Lawrence inside Pseudo Sonic. There is a seat, a control panel and a periscope inside Pseudo Sonic.'']
 * Robotnik: I was welcoming you aboard your new high-tech vehicle.
 * Lawrence: But I don't even have a driver's license!

[Robotnik puts a helmet on Lawrence with his left hand.]
 * Lawrence: Ow!
 * Robotnik: Good! That means your criminal career has already started.

[Robotnik closes Pseudo Sonic's chest door with his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: Are you ready, Lawrence?
 * Lawrence [heard inside Pseudo Sonic]: I guess so.
 * Robotnik: Aha!

[Robotnik backs up as Pseudo Sonic follows him.]
 * Robotnik: This is such a brilliant idea! I can't believe I didn't think of it before!

[''Unknown to Robotnik, Scratch and Grounder are watching from the doors behind him. Specifically, Scratch is looking through the rightmost one and Grounder is looking through the leftmost one. They think Pseudo Sonic is the real Sonic and is trying to attack Robotnik.'']
 * Scratch: Huh? It's the hedgehog! He's captured Dr. Robotnik!

[''Scratch opens both doors with both his hands. The rightmost door pushes Robotnik away.'']
 * Robotnik: D'oh!
 * Scratch: Bwahaha! Don't worry, your maliciousness! We'll save you!

[Grounder rolls in.]
 * Grounder: Yeah! No one's gonna hurt our Dr. Robotnik!

[''Scratch and Grounder run towards Pseudo Sonic. Scratch runs over Robotnik.'']
 * Robotnik: Oof!

[Grounder rolls under Robotnik.]
 * Robotnik: D'ouch!

[''Inside Pseudo Sonic, Lawrence looks through the periscope. He lets go of it, causing it to rise back up. He then stares in shock.'']
 * Lawrence: Oh, no! It's the S.S.S.S.S. Squad! I hope I can drive this thing!

[''Lawrence pulls a lever with his left hand. Pseudo Sonic walks forward, and Scratch and Grounder screech to a halt.'']
 * Grounder: I'll flatten him for you!

[Grounder turns his right drill into an anvil, and winds it up.]
 * Grounder: Ugh! Ugh! Ugh!

[''Grounder throws the anvil, which is tethered to his right arm. The Anvil flies toward Pseudo Sonic. Inside Pseudo Sonic, Lawrence looks through the periscope, then lets go of it, causing it to rise up. He then stares in shock.'']
 * Lawrence: I'd better get out of here quick! Ugh!

[''Lawrence pulls down two levers in front of him with both his hands. Pseudo Sonic walks away just in time to avoid getting hit by the anvil, which now retracts and hits Grounder on the head. Grounder now has stars spinning around his head.'']
 * Grounder: Ugh! Mmmm.

[Grounder falls over.]
 * Scratch: Out of my way, pancake lips! I'll show you how to catch a hedgehog! I'll get him to stick around with this bubble gum bomb! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch reaches behind his back with his right hand and pulls out a pink bomb. Inside Pseudo Sonic, Lawrence looks through the periscope and lets go of it, causing it to rise back up.'']
 * Lawrence: Not if you don't have a target!

[''Lawrence pulls one lever with his right hand, and another with his left. Pseudo Sonic runs behind Scratch, who positions himself to toss the bubble gum bomb.'']
 * Scratch: You can't get away that easy!

[As Scratch turns around, Pseudo Sonic runs up to the control panel.]
 * Scratch: Bwhahahaha! No place to run, eh, hedgehog?

[Pseudo Sonic runs around Scratch clockwise.]
 * Scratch: Huh? Whoa-ho!

[Pseudo Sonic runs away.]
 * Scratch: Hey, hey! Hold still! This thing's gonna ex... plo-ho-hode!

[''Sure enough, the bubble gum bomb explodes. Scratch is now covered in bubble gum, and Grounder, who still has the anvil on his head, rolls up to him.'']
 * Grounder: What's the matter, lockjaw lips? Hedgehog got your tongue?

[''Robotnik sits up and growls, with stars spinning around his head. He shakes his head, then stands up and walks angrily towards Scratch and Grounder.'']
 * Robotnik: Stop, you metallic morons! You dim-witted droids! You can't even capture a fake Sonic!
 * Scratch: A fake?
 * Grounder: Uh, what's a fake?
 * Robotnik: You imbeciles! Grrr!

[Robotnik walks angrily up to Pseudo Sonic.]
 * Robotnik: An imitation! A replica!

[Robotnik slams his right hand on Pseudo Sonic's head.]
 * Robotnik: It's a phony, you brainless buffons!
 * Scratch: Huh? Oh-ho! Oops! Whoops!
 * Grounder: Uh, sorry!
 * Robotnik: Grrr! Get out of my sight! It's humiliating that I ever invented you!

[Scratch and Grounder run back out the doors.]
 * Scratch [heard offscreen]: Oh-ho-ho!
 * Grounder [heard offscreen]: Aaaah!
 * Scratch: I get the feeling he was pretty upset at us!
 * Grounder: Oh, you think so? He seemed in a better mood than normal to me.

[Scratch and Grounder walk away.]
 * Robotnik: Now, it's time to see if my Pseudo Sonic can fool the citizens of Mobius! Go, my Pseudo Sonic, go! Get out there and commit crimes that the real Sonic will be blamed for!

[''Pseudo Sonic walks away, and Robotnik laughs evilly. The screen transitions to the next scene, which takes place outside the Mobius Museum. The Curator is talking to a Lady with a poodle.'']
 * Curator: Yes, Ma'am, the museum is now displaying the priceless jewel crown of the first King of Mobius!

[''Pseudo Sonic runs past the Curator and the Lady, ripping their clothes off, and leaving them in their underwear. He also rips the fur off the poodle.'']
 * Lady: Aaaah!

[''Pseudo Sonic runs into the museum, then runs back out, carrying the jewel crown. He then runs past the Curator and the Lady again, giving them each other's clothes. He also puts the fur back on the poodle.'']
 * Curator and Lady: Huh?
 * Curator: Aaaah!

[''In the next scene, on a Television screen, a newscaster is seen holding a piece of paper. A picture of the jewel crown can be seen in the upper right corner.'']
 * Newscaster: This unbelievable news just in! Sonic the Hedgehog has robbed Mobius' most famous museum!

[''In the next scene, a Weasel can be seen driving an armored money van, complete with the word, LOADED on its license plate. He suddenly gasps and stares in shock.'']
 * Weasel: Aaaah!

[''Pseudo Sonic is standing in the middle of the road, dressed as a crossing guard, and holding a STOP sign in his right hand. The Weasel stops the armored money van, and Pseudo Sonic runs around it. The Weasel looks around, then Pseudo Sonic signals him to go.'']
 * Weasel: Aaaah!

[''The Weasel drives the armored money van away. Pseudo Sonic hides the STOP sign and pulls out two bags of money, one in each hand. He then spins away. In the next scene, the newscaster is on TV, with everything in the news studio the same way it was before.'']
 * Newscaster: I still can't believe it, but Sonic is a one-hedgehog major crime spree!

[A black, white, and blue picture of Sonic is seen crossed out.]
 * Newscaster: No person on Mobius is safe from this hazardous hedgehog! Who knows what the fiend will do next?

[''The next scene takes place at night. Pseudo Sonic walks up to the front door of a house. He opens the door with his right hand. Inside the house, the Rabbit Gardener from "Lovesick Sonic" is seen sleeping in his bed. Pseudo Sonic walks up to the lamp on the nightstand and pulls out the light bulb with his left hand. He hides it behind his back, then with the same hand, he pulls out a grenade and puts it in the lamp. He then walks up to the other end of the bed, and grabs the Rabbit Gardener's tail with his left hand. He pulls out a paddle with his right hand, which he uses to spank the Rabbit Gardener's butt with.'']
 * Rabbit Gardener: Ow!

[''Pseudo Sonic runs away. The Rabbit Gardener looks back at him.'']
 * Rabbit Gardener: Huh?

[The Rabbit Gardener pulls the string to his lamp with his right hand, activating the grenade, which explodes in his face.]
 * Rabbit Gardener: Oh-ho!

[''In the next scene, an Elderly Lady who is holding a cane in her right hand, is waiting at a street corner, when Pseudo Sonic walks up to her. He holds out his right arm.'']
 * Elderly Lady: Oh-ho-ho! What a gentleman!

[''The Elderly Lady puts her left arm around Pseudo Sonic's right arm. The two walk off together, when a bus suddenly drives past, running the Elderly Lady over.''] Elderly Lady: Ow! [''The Elderly Lady is now flattened. Pseudo Sonic looks down at her, then runs away. In the next scene, at the park, A Mother is sitting on a park bench. Next to her is her infant son in a baby carriage. The Mother hums, then pulls out a lollipop with her right hand and unwraps it with her left. She gives the lollipop to her son, who now holds it in his right hand.'']
 * Baby: Goo-gaa-goo! Goo goo! Goo goo! Goo goo! Ha ha ha ha!

[''Pseudo Sonic runs past the Mother and her son, literally taking candy from a baby by stealing the baby's lollipop. The mother gasps, and her son cries, with streams of tears flowing from his eyes.'']
 * Baby: Waaah! Waaah! Waaah!

[''In the next scene, a Dog is sleeping in his doghouse. His owner whistles, then tosses a bone at him. The Dog awakens, then picks up the bone with both his hands.'']
 * Dog: Arf? Arf arf woof woof woof!

[''As the Dog tries to put the bone in his mouth, Pseudo Sonic runs past the Dog, replacing his bone with a bubble gum bomb, similar to the one Scratch used earlier. The Dog looks at it in confusion.'']
 * Dog: Awoo?

[''The bubble gum bomb explodes, covering the Dog in bubble gum. The Dog cries, with streams of tears flowing from his eyes.'']
 * Dog: Awoo!

[''In the next scene, the Newscaster is once again shown on television, holding a stack of papers in both her hands. In the upper right corner of the screen, there are two black, white, and blue mugshots of Sonic holding a sign that says, 19524.'']
 * Newscaster: Ladies and Gentlemen, Sonic is in the park.

[The newscaster tosses one of the papers with her left hand.]
 * Newscaster: No, he's in the stadium!

[The Newscaster tosses another piece of paper with her right hand.]
 * Newscaster: No, well, he's at the beach!

[The Newscaster tosses all the pieces of paper aside with both her hands.]
 * Newscaster: He's everywhere! And he's pulling pranks, stealing things, and creating... mischief!

[Pseudo Sonic walks into the studio, holding a cream pie in his left hand.]
 * Newscaster: Why he's... Oh! He's here! Oh!

[''Pseudo Sonic splats the pie in the Newscaster's face, then runs away. The real Sonic and Tails are standing outside a TV store, watching the newcast.'']
 * Tails: How did you do that? You've been standing next to me all this time!
 * Sonic: That wasn't me! But who else could be that fast?

[''The Elderly Lady, who is now holding the cane in her left hand, walks up to Sonic. She gasps when she sees him, thinking he's Pseudo Sonic. She then pulls out a whistle with her right hand and whistles with it.'']
 * Elderly Lady: Help! Police!
 * Sonic: What is it, Ma'am? Can I give you a Supersonic hand?

[The Elderly Lady pokes Sonic's chest with her cane.]
 * Elderly Lady: You horrible, anti-social teenage punk! Help! Police! He's over here!

[The Elderly Lady whistles, then hits Sonic on the head with her cane.]
 * Elderly Lady: You young whippersnapper, you!
 * Sonic: Yeow! I'm up, over, and gone!

[''Sonic runs away, with Tails flying behind him. The Elderly Lady waves her cane at Sonic in anger.'']
 * Elderly Lady: And don't show your face around here again, you... juvenile delinquent!

[Sonic turns around a street corner, then screeches to a halt.]
 * Sonic: Brakes!

[Tails flies up to Sonic and lands near him.]
 * Tails: Boy! All this crime stuff has really gotten you into some big trouble! What are you gonna do?

[Before Sonic can answer, Pseudo Sonic runs up to him and ties him up in a rope, which he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Whoa! Hey, cut that out!

[''Inside Pseudo Sonic, Lawrence looks through the periscope. He then lets go of it, causing it to rise up.'']
 * Lawrence: Aaaah! It's the real Sonic!

[''Pseudo Sonic lets go of the rope, causing it to fall and set Sonic free. Pseudo Sonic then runs away, leaving a trail of fire.'']
 * Sonic: You call that fast? I'm gonna put a stop to this fake me once and for all!

[Sonic spins and runs after Pseudo Sonic, creating a trail of fire of his own.]
 * Sonic: Back in the bat of an eye, little guy!

[''Sonic runs after Pseudo Sonic through the desert. They both create trails of fire. When Sonic catches up to Pseudo Sonic, he taps him on the right shoulder with his right index finger.'']
 * Sonic: Ahem!

[Pseudo Sonic looks back at Sonic.]
 * Lawrence [heard inside Pseudo Sonic]: Aaaah!

[''Pseudo Sonic runs away, and Sonic runs after him. They both run up a mountain. In the next scene, Sonic is dressed as a policeman.'']
 * Sonic: All right, you imposter! Pull over now!
 * Lawrence [heard inside Pseudo Sonic]: I... can't! It's too late!
 * Sonic: What do you mean?

[''Pseudo Sonic points to a sign with his right index finger. The sign says, POISON FLOWER VALLEY!, and has a picture of a skull and crossbones on it. Pseudo Sonic and Sonic both try to screech to a halt, but they fall off the edge of the mountain.'']
 * Lawrence [heard inside Pseudo Sonic]: Aaaah!
 * Sonic: Aaaah! Whoa!

[The screen fades to black.]