Mass Transit Trouble/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Mass Transit Trouble".

Note: Scenes that were cut from certain reruns are highlighted in red .

[''The episode begins with a view of the sea on a dark and stormy night. A wave splashes as thunder booms and lightning flashes. A giant wave pushes a tramp steamer called the M.S.S. Gigantic up and back down, then again as thunder booms and lightning flashes. The camera cuts to a view inside the cabin, where the Wheeler, who is a seal in a sailor's hat and a green sweater, is struggling to keep the ship under control.'']


 * Wheeler: Ugh! Ugh! Argh! Ugh!

[The Wheeler stares in shock at what is ahead.]


 * Wheeler: Aaaah!

[A view of some icebergs can be seen outside the ship's deck.]


 * Wheeler: Captain Finny! We're coming up on a giant iceberg field!

[''Thunder booms and lightning flashes as Captain Finny, the Raccoon captain of the M.S.S. Gigantic, slides up to the Wheeler. He bumps into him as he salutes with his right hand.'']


 * Captain Finny: Arrgh, don't worry, I'm ready for em'!

[''Captain Finny slides towards the phone. He bumps into it and picks up the reciever with his right hand.'']


 * Captain Finny: Icebergs ahead! Send out the secret weapons!

[''Captain Finny slides away, nearly pulling the phone off the wall. The reciever flies into it and destroys it. Back at the wheel, the Wheeler calls out with his left hand while holding onto the wheel with his right.'']


 * Wheeler: Should we slow down?

[''Captain Finny slides into the Wheeler. Before he can answer, Sonic can be heard in the distance.'']


 * Sonic [heard offscreen]: Belay that, mateys!

[''Sonic kicks the door open with his right foot. He and Tails, who are both wearing sailor suits, dance in.'']


 * Captain Finny: "This is our secret weapon. I asked Sonic along to help us get through those icebergs!

[Sonic salutes with his right hand.]


 * Sonic: Just point me in the right direction. I'll buzz-saw those bergs into sno-cones!

[''The M.S.S. Gigantic floats along the sea. Thunder booms and lightning flashes as Sonic looks at the lighthouse shining its beacon in the distance.'']


 * Sonic: What's that beacon?


 * Captain Finny: That's lighthouse one, the most important lighthouse on Mobius. All the major shipping routes go through here, and lighthouse one keeps em' safe. So, can you clear a path for us?

[Sonic salutes with his right hand.]


 * Sonic: Aye-aye, Captain!


 * Wheeler: Ca-aptain Finny, look at this!

[''The Wheeler points ahead with his right index finger. The lighthouse's light suddenly goes out. Captain Finny gasps as thunder booms and lightning flashes.'']


 * Captain Finny [heard offscreen]: Lighthouse one has gone dark! Emergency procedures!

[An alarm sounds and a light flashes.]


 * Captain Finny [heard offscreen]: Weigh anchor!

[As the Wheeler pulls a lever down with his left hand, thunder booms and lightning flashes.]


 * Wheeler: Aye-aye, Captain!

[The M.S.S. Gigantic's anchor drops into the sea, stopping the ship, and causing it to tilt forward.]


 * Sonic, Tails, Captain Finny, and Wheeler: Ugh!

[''Sonic, Tails, Captain Finny, and the Wheeler have all fallen onto the windshield. Captain Finny turns to face the Wheeler.'']


 * Captain Finny [in a muffled voice]: Nice work, Sailor!

[''Sonic pulls himself off the windshield. As he talks to captain Finny, holding up his left index finger, thunder booms and lightning flashes.'']


 * Sonic: Don't worry, Captain! You stay anchored here, safe from the icebergs, and we'll find out what's going on at lighthouse one!

[''Sonic points ahead with his right index finger. He and Tails then escape out the hatch on the frontmost smokestack.'']


 * Sonic: Come on, Tails!

[''Sonic runs along the sea, with Tails flying behind him as thunder booms and lightning flashes. Sonic runs up the mountain to the lighthouse, with Tails flying behind him. They eventually get to the top of the lighthouse, and look inside.'']


 * Sonic: Let's shed some light on this lighthouse!

[Inside the lighthouse, Angus MacGull, a scottish seagull, is tied to a pole, and struggling to get loose.]


 * Angus MacGull: When I get myself loose, I'll kick your metal tail into the highlands!

[Coconuts is revealed to be at the control panel.]


 * Coconuts: Put a cork in it, will you? Dr. Robotnik gave me my big chance to make good here, and you're not gonna spoil it!


 * Angus MacGull: Nobody tells Angus MacGull to cork it!

[As Angus MacGull continues ranting, Coconuts is now holding a golf club and is about to hit the golf ball placed in front of it.]


 * Angus MacGull: I'll knock your block off! I'll stew you into haggis, I will!

['' The golf ball Coconuts hits flies into Angus MacGull's mouth, choking him. Coconuts jumps in delight.'']


 * Coconuts: What's the matter, Big Mouth? Can't you talk with your mouth full? Ha ha ha ha ha!

[''Sonic is now at the doorway, holding a golf club in his right hand as he points to the golf ball in front of him with his left. A bag of golf clubs is standing near him.'']


 * Sonic: Ach! Bonny shot, me Coconuts! Let me take a slice!

[''Sonic hits the golf ball, which flies towards Coconuts, who ducks to avoid getting hit by it. Coconuts points at Sonic with his right index finger.'']


 * Coconuts: Missed me, hedgehog!

[''The golf ball bounces against the wall. It flies back towards Coconuts, who ducks to avoid getting hit by it again.'']


 * Coconuts: Ha! missed me again!

[The golf ball bounces against a red button labelled, BEACON, turning the beacon on, and causing it to hit the back of Coconut's head, knocking him over.]


 * Coconuts: Oof!

[Coconuts gets back up.]


 * Coconuts [wearily]: That one got me.

[The golf ball flies through Coconuts' light bulb, destroying it.]


 * Coconuts [wearily]: Ow! Lights out.

[''Coconuts falls over. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Tails unties Angus MacGull, while Sonic ties up Coconuts, with Angus MacGull's bagpipes tied behind him.'']


 * Angus MacGull: Ah, thanks, laddies. [As he shakes Tails' right hand with his right hand] You saved me, and lighthouse one, too!


 * Sonic [as he finishes tying Coconuts up]: All in a day's work! Think these bagpipes will hold him?

[Sonic walks away.]


 * Coconuts: You'll regret this, hedgehog! Wait till' you see what Dr. Robotnik has in store for you!


 * Sonic: If old eggbelly gets out of line, me and tails will poach him good!

[Just then, a transmission can be heard of the radio.]

Cat Stewardess [heard over the radio]: Mayday! Mayday! This is a planet-wide distress call!

[Tails is now standing next to the radio.]


 * Tails: Something's coming over the shortwaves!


 * Cat Stewardess [heard over the radio]: Mobius Intercontinental Airport needs help right away! Please!


 * Sonic: Uh-oh! The airport is hundreds of miles away! Can you handle coconuts?


 * Angus MacGull: Aye, Laddie! [as he pulls a golf club out of the bag] If he moves, I'll show him a new way to play the bagpipes!

[Tails is now standing next to Sonic.]


 * Tails: Sonic! What about the ship and the icebergs?

[Sonic turns to face Tails.]


 * Sonic: As long as they stay anchored where they are, they'll be safe! We'll be back before they know it!

[''Sonic grabs Tails' right arm with his left hand, and runs away, dragging him along. Angus MacGull holds his left hand up to his head.'']


 * Angus MacGull: Good luck, laddies! Be careful now!

[As Angus MacGull talks to Sonic and Tails, a pair of scissors sprouts from Coconuts' tail, which he uses to cut the ropes off with.]


 * Angus MacGull: And give old Robotnik a whack for me! And don't forget to watch your backs!

[''As Angus MacGull waves with his left arm, Coconuts sneaks up behind him. He pulls him by the neck with his right arm.'']


 * Coconuts: You should have watched yours, MacGull!

[''Coconuts opens his head with his left hand and pulls out a bomb with the same hand. He pushes Angus MacGull back with his right hand, then tosses the bomb into the same hand as he closes his head with his left.'']


 * Coconuts: The trouble's only startin'! When Dr. Robotnik hears I planted this bomb like he wanted, I'll never be on sanitation detail again!

[''The screen transitions to the next scene, where a polar bear is fishing in the arctic lake. Sonic runs past him, spinning the iceberg he's on around. He gets tangled in the fishing rod, and Sonic runs through the desert, with Tails flying behind him. He runs past a mummy and an archeologist, unwrapping the mummy, revealing it to be wearing white boxer shorts with red polka dots. The Archaologist stares at it in shock. Sonic then runs through a logging camp, past two beavers, with Tails flying behind him. They stop when they reach the Cat Stewardess at the Mobius International Airport. By this point, Sonic pants heavily.'']


 * Cat Stewardess: Oh, Sonic! Thank goodness you're here! Somebody has taken over the control tower!

[Sonic pants heavily]


 * Sonic: How are the planes?


 * Cat Stewardess: They can't land! And one plane is almost out of fuel!

[Tails walks up to Sonic.]


 * Sonic: Which one?

[Tails pulls on Sonic's right arm with his left hand and points up with his left index finger.]


 * Tails: That one, maybe!

[''A plane falls towards the airport. One of its jet engines falls off.'']


 * Sonic: Good eye! Wait here!

[Sonc runs away, then spins a tornado.]


 * Cat Stewardess: "He's making a whirlwind. Isn't he smart? And fast! And handsome!

[Hearts appear in the Cat Stewardess' eyes.]


 * Tails: Make me barf! Can't you see Sonic's really busy? He doesn't have time for mushy stuff!

[''The tornado Sonic spins gets bigger, until the airplane flies into it. The other end of the tornado spits the plane out, causing it to land safely.'']


 * Passengers [heard inside the plane]: Yay! We're free, we're free!

[The tornado disappears as Sonic pants heavily in midair.]


 * Sonic: No time to chill, gotta check out the control tower!

[''Sonic spins towards the control tower, which the camera cuts to a view outside, then zooms in on. Inside the control tower, two dogs with headsets are tied to each other. Scratch is at the control panel, which he smashes with his right hand. He picks it up and tosses it aside with both hands, then digs inside the machine. He tosses pieces aside as Sonic spins through the window. He catches Scratch climbing out the other window.'']


 * Sonic: Hold it right there, Scratch!

[Scratch turns to face Sonic.]


 * Scratch: This plan is perfect, hedgehog! You got here too late, and now you'll never stop us! Bwahaha!


 * Sonic: That's what you think, bolt-butt!

[Before Sonic can attack Scratch, a transmission can be heard.]


 * Jebediah Wee [heard over the radio]: "Mayday! Mayday! This is Mobius Central Train Control! We got a disaster on our hands!


 * Sonic: "Another one? What's going on?"

[''Sonic looks up and notices that Scratch got away. He then turns to face the two dogs, and jumps towards them, landing near them.'']


 * Sonic: Chill, guys! It'll take me just a half a sec to untie you!

[''Sonic runs around the rope, untying the two dogs. As he runs away, the two dogs are ?revealed to have their heads on each other's bodies. They stare at each other in shock, then the fat dog grabs his head with his right hand and the skinny dog's head with his left, then puts them back on their respective bodies. The screen transitions to a view outside the airport as Sonic runs up to Tails and the Cat Stewardess. Tails points up with his right index finger.'']


 * Tails: Scratch got away! Why didn't you stop him?


 * Sonic [wearily]: No time. Got a call on the radio. We've gotta stop a trainwreck at... Infinite Points!


 * Cat Stewardess: Infinite Points Railroad Junction? That's on the other side of the planet!


 * Tails [wearily]: Yeah, and we're both really beat! Can we make it?


 * Sonic: We've got to! Let's go!

[Sonic runs away, and Tails flies behind him.]


 * Cat Stewardess: Oh! [As she slaps her head with her right hand] I can't believe I didn't give that hunk my phone number! Oh! Well, at least the airport is safe!

[''Inside the control tower, the Fat Dog is sitting in his chair. The camera zooms in on him, then cuts to a close-up of the bomb beeping under the chair. Back outside the control tower, Scratch is driving the Egg-o-Matic hovercraft, holding its steering wheel in his right hand and a microphone in his left.'']


 * Scratch: Bomb planted on scedule, Dr. Robotnik! And the hedgehog has already left! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch flies away, then the screen transitions to the next scene, where a poster that says, BUY ROBOTNIK BRANDS and has a picture of Robotnik's face on it can be seen on the left side of the screen as a painter paints the wall on the right side with red paint. Sonic runs past him, pushing the red paint onto the poster, covering it up. Sonic then runs between two trees in the forest, one of which, a sleeping man is leaning up against. The trees fly away, and the sleeping man falls over. Sonic then runs by a sign that says, ART EXHIBIT and two statues, one of a head with its mouth open, and another of a left hand with its thumb sticking out. The hand moves clockwise, causing its thumb to go in the statue's mouth. The screen then transitions to an overhead view of Infinite Points railroad junction, then the camera moves over to Jebediah Wee. Sonic runs up to him.'']


 * Jebediah Wee: Huh?

[''Sonic runs past Jebediah Wee, creating a cloud of dust. Jebediah Wee goes into his shell, which goes on its back and spins around as the dust clears. Jebediah Wee then pokes his head out of his shell to face Sonic's backside.'']


 * Jebediah Wee: Well, howdy-doo.

[Sonic turns to face Jebediah Wee.]


 * Jebediah Wee: I'm Jebediah Wee.

[Sonic gasps.]


 * Sonic: Train wreck? Where is it?

[Jebediah Wee stands up, and is holding his hat in his right hand, which he puts on his head.]


 * Jebediah Wee: Well, some rascally robot took over the switchin' house at gunpoint!

[The camera moves over to Tails, who is standing next to Jebediah Wee.]


 * Tails: Sounds familiar.

[Jebediah Wee walks past Tails and pulls down a map of the junction with his left hand.]


 * Jebediah Wee: And now, we got three trains all heading for a collision from different directions. I was hoping y'all might be willing to help us out, seeing as how you're such a famous hero and all.

[''Sonic looks around as various train horns sound. He stares in shock, and his jaw drops to his feet.'']


 * Sonic: Aaaah!

[''The camera moves to each of the trains, who all blow their horns. They all approach each other. Sonic looks around in panic, then runs up to a wagon filled with railroad ties. As he spins away with it, Jebediah Wee continues talking to Tails.'']


 * Jebediah Wee: And of course, every train on Mobius has to come through here.

[''Sonic runs past Jebediah Wee and Tails as the latter stares at him, and the former points at the map with his right index finger. Sonic then runs past a red signal that says, STOP, which changes to green and says, GO SONIC. Sonic then stops in the middle of the junction.'']


 * Jebediah Wee: And it would triple all awful.

[''Sonic forms a cloud of dust as he works in the middle of the junction. Tails gasps and stares in shock. The trains blow their horns as they get closer to the middle of the junction.'']


 * Tails: Aaaah!

[''The three trains meet in the middle of the junction as the dust cloud gets bigger. When it clears, they all move away from each other. Sonic pants heavily, wipes his head with his left hand, and walks away. the camera moves up, revealing he made three separate loops for the trains to travel across.'']


 * Jebediah Wee: Not to mention, costing me my job. So, will you help?

[Sonic runs up to Jebediah Wee and pants heavily.]


 * Sonic: I'll see what I can do.


 * Tails: To the switching house?


 * Sonic: Yeah, and three guesses who we're gonna find railroading the place!

[''Sonic runs past Tails, who follows him. Tails runs up to the signal house and opens the door. He looks inside, and sees nobody at the control panel. He looks over at the Platypus signalman, who is tied up.'']


 * Tails: "Aaah!

[''Tails runs up to the Platypus signalman and unties him. Sonic looks around.'']


 * Sonic: Hmmm. No sign of Robotnik's stoogebot, but there's gotta be one here somewhere!

[Grounder, who is holding a microphone in his right hand, rolls past the signal tower.]


 * Grounder: Grounder to Dr. Robotnik! Mission accomplished! Ha ha! Nobody saw me plant the time bomb! Over.

[Dr. Robotnik can be seen on the microphone's screen.]


 * Dr. Robotnik: Delightful! Now I can spring my little surprise!

[Sonic wearily walks up to the chair of the control panel and pulls on its lever, turning it counter-clockwise.]


 * Sonic: "I gotta rest, Tails! [as he gets into the chair] I couldn't take another step if the fate of the world depended on it!

[''Robotnik appears on the monitors of the control panel. Sonic immediately turns his attention to the monitors.'']


 * Robotnik: Attention, Mobius! I, the deliciously diabolical Dr. Robotnik, have successfully planted ultra-powerful fusion bombs in each of Mobius' most important land, sea, and air complexes!

[Images of the Infinite Points Junction, Lighthouse One, and the Mobius International Airport, appear onscreen.]


 * Tails: Bombs? He planted bombs?

[Sonic is now standing atop the chair as he holds out his left hand like a stop sign.]


 * Sonic: Just don't panic! We can't panic!

[An image of Lighthouse One is on the leftmost monitor, an image of the Mobius International Airport is on the middle monitor, and an image of Infinite Points Junction is on the rightmost monitor.]


 * Robotnik: Five minutes from now, they will simultaneously detonate,

[Robotnik appears on the three monitors.]


 * Robotnik: Bringing all transportation on Mobius to a standstill! Then no one can escape my tyranny, and my robot soldiers will control you all! And don't expect that interfering teenage hedgehog to save you this time!

[Tails points at the monitors with his right index finger.]


 * Tails: Oh, yeah? Why not?


 * Robotnik: Because I'm so brilliant! I had my lackeys tire out Sonic and Tails by making them think my robots were the threat. Their real mission was to plant the bombs! Now that my plan is in motion, there's no way to stop it. Not even Sonic the Hedgehog can be in three places at once!

[Robotnik laughs evilly, until Sonic shuts the monitor off with a remote control he is holding in his right hand.]


 * Sonic: Now, we panic.

[Sonic pulls the lever on the remote forward, causing the screen to fade to black.]