Blank-Headed Eagle/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, Blank-Headed Eagle.

[The episode begins at Dr. Robotnik's fortress, where Scratch and Grounder are watching their TV show, Edgar Eagle.]
 * Scratch: Hang on! Edgar will save you!
 * Grounder: Go on, Ellie! Call for help!
 * Ellie: Oh, no! An avalanche!

[''Ellie gasps as an avalanche of boulders roll down towards her. She turns around and gasps again as a large fire is now in front of her'']
 * Ellie: And a forest fire! Oh, help! Save me!

[Edgar Eagle flies to Ellie's rescue in his Eagle-copter.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: Yay!
 * Edgar Eagle: What's that? This looks like a job for... Edgar Eagle, champion of the skies!
 * Scratch and Grounder: All right, Edgar!

[In the next scene of Edgar Eagle, Edgar is standing in front of Ellie and puts his right hand on her chest.]
 * Edgar: Relax, Ellie. It takes more than a few rocks to faze Edgar Eagle!

[The boulders roll towards Edgar, who destroys them with several punches and karate chops.]
 * Edgar: Ha! Kia! Ugh! Ahhh. There. Now, if you'd like to make a wish...

[Edgar turns around and blows out the fire.]
 * Ellie: Oh, Edgar! My hero!
 * Grounder: Awww! Did you see that? Smashed em' into pebbles!
 * Scratch: Yeah! Wouldn't it be great to be like him?

[Dr. Robotnik walks in.]
 * Dr. Robotnik: What's going on here?

[Scratch holds his left hand up to his head]
 * Scratch: Uh, oh... we were just, uh... waiting for the news, your nastiness!
 * Grounder: Yeah, that's right! We wanted to see if we did anything rotten today.
 * Robotnik: Silence!
 * Scratch and Grounder: Yes, your rottenness!
 * Robotnik: How many times to I have to tell you two dingbats to do something useful with your spare time, like, uh... kissing my feet?

[''Robotnik holds up his left foot and points to it with his left index finger. Scratch and Grounder put clothespins on their noses, and kiss Robotnik's feet.'']
 * Scratch and Grounder: Mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah mwah!
 * Robotnik: All right, dingbots, break time is over. We've got a hedgehog to hunt!

[Robotnik kicks Scratch and Grounder with his right foot.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: Ooof!
 * Scratch: He called me a dingbot, and you said he didn't love me!
 * Grounder: Okay. Why don't we have a race? Whover catches Sonic first is the one the master loves best!

[Grounder rolls up to the doorway.]
 * Grounder: Oh, and I'm the fastest! So if I were you, I'd quit now!
 * Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho! Anybody can be fast if they have tracks!
 * Edgar [heard offscreen]: Tired of being slow as a tortoise?

[Scratch turns his attention to the TV, which has a commercial featuring Edgar.]
 * Edgar: Why be a slowpoke when you can experience the thrill of faster-than-eagle flight?
 * Scratch: How? How? How? How? How? Tell me how! Tell me how!

[Edgar is now revealed to be sitting in his Eagle-copter.]
 * Edgar: For your easy-to-build Eagle-copter kit, just send one thousand mobiums to Edgar Eagle, Box 555 Mobium City Studios, and, if you hurry,

[Edgar reaches behind his back with his right hand and pulls out a scarf and helmet.]
 * Edgar: You'll recieve an authentic Edgar Eagle scarf and helmet set, free!

[Scratch reaches for a chicken-shaped bank on the shelf.]
 * Scratch: Bwahaha! You've had it, hedgehog!

[''Scratch picks up the bank with both hands and tosses it onto the floor, where it shatters, causing its coins to fly into the air. One 5¢ coin is used as a transition to the next scene, which takes place in Scratch's bedroom, where there is a bed made of hay and a picture of Dr. Robotnik near the window. Scratch is seen assembling his Eagle-copter and the blueprints for it can even be seen above his bed.'']
 * Scratch: Hmmm. Now, I'm supposed to fit tab A-392 into slot Z-427.

[''Scratch picks up two wires and plugs them in. The wires electrocute him.'']
 * Scratch: Yeow-how-how-how-hoo!

[An explosion appears, leaving Scratch a charred grey.]
 * Scratch [wearily]: Oh. Or was that slot x-427?

[''Scratch picks up the instruction manual with his left hand. He opens it with both hands and reads through it.'']
 * Scratch: Now, "Attach the parabolic matrix to the dookie to the oscillator framess and turn two full turns clockwise.". No problem.

[Scratch turns the oscillator framess clockwise once with his left hand.]
 * Scratch: Oh-ho-ho. One more turn.

[''Scratch turns the oscillator framess clockwise again. The pieces assemble themselves into a mechanical shark''.]
 * Scratch: Aaah!

[''The mechanical shark tries to chomp Scratch, but misses, as Scratch runs out of the way just in time. The mechanical shark then chases Scratch around his bedroom, even causing him to run up the wall and onto the ceiling several times.'']
 * Scratch: He-he-help! Whoa! Whoa!

[''The mechanical shark explodes, and the explosion is used as a transition to the next scene, where it appears to be nighttime. However, the night sky is merely a background, which rolls up as the sun rises. Scratch is now holding a wrench in his right hand'']
 * Scratch: "Easy-to-build"? Ha!

[''Scratch's Eagle-copter is now complete. He has even added an egg-bomb cannon on its nose.'']
 * Scratch: This thing better zap Sonic good!

[Scratch is now wearing his official Edgar Eagle scarf and helmet as he climbs into his Eagle-copter.]
 * Scratch: Now, all I have to do is start her up!

[''Scratch turns on the Eagle-copter with his left hand and grabs the steering stick with both hands. The Eagle-copter flies towards the window, which Scratch is quick to notice.'']
 * Scratch': Whoa-ho-ho!

[''Scratch's Eagle-copter flies through the window, leaving an Eagle-copter shaped hole in it and a grey cloud of dust. Meanwhile, Sonic and Tails are walking past a cornfield.'']
 * Sonic: Boy, oh, boy, what a day, huh, kid?
 * Tails: It's awful peaceful, Sonic.
 * Sonic: It's good for you, little guy. Makes you appreciate the simple things, like... like... fresh jalepeños on your chili dogs!
 * Tails: Now I get it! You think Farmer Peck will give us a chili-dog!
 * Sonic: Could be! He sure was hot to get us out here!
 * Tails: I wonder why he sounded so worried.
 * Sonic: He must be one of those jumpy types. What could go wrong out here? Cows mooing, birds singing, bees buzzing...

[Sonic holds his left hand up to his left ear, as he does indeed hear buzzing, which is coming from Scratch's Eagle-copter.]
 * Sonic: Buzzing real loud!

[Scratch and his Eagle-copter fly towards Sonic]
 * Scratch: Eat flaming egg-bombs, hedgehog! Bwahaha!

[Scratch aims his egg-bomb cannon at Sonic and fires six egg-bombs from it.]
 * Sonic: Oops!

[''Sonic grabs Tails by his right arm with his left hand. He runs out of the way just in time, as three of the egg-bombs miss. Scratch turns his Eagle-copter around.'']
 * Scratch: Come back here, you prickly pest!

[Scratch, having lost Sonic, looks down for him.]
 * Scratch: Where'd he go? Where'd he go?

[''Sonic and Tails are now dressed as police officers. Tails has a siren on his head and is carrying Sonic by the seat of his pants as he flies up to Scratch''.]
 * Sonic: All right, buddy, pull over!
 * Scratch: Aw, come on, officer! What'd I do wrong?
 * Sonic: Let's go, buddy, down!
 * Scratch: Aw, fudge!

[''Scratch, Sonic, and Tails land. Sonic is now holding a notebook in his right hand and a pencil in his left, as he is now writing things down in it.'']
 * Sonic: Operating an Eagle-copter without a seatbelt, operating an Eagle-copter without enough brains to run a little red wagon,
 * Scratch: Now, wait a minute, officer!

[Sonic runs up to Scratch and points to him with his right index finger.]
 * Sonic: No, you wait a minute! You robot chickens make me sick! Get a couple of pints of motor oil in you, and suddenly, you're tough guys! Okay, mister, you chill right there!
 * Scratch: Golly, officer. How long?

[Sonic starts running.]
 * Sonic: Till you get a clue, geek!

[Sonic runs away.]
 * Scratch: Oh, no! It's you! Okay, hedgehog, it's payback time!

[In the next scene, Scratch is flying his Eagle-copter again.]
 * Scratch: Bwahaha! I'll blow him to smithereens! I'll blast him to kingdom come! I'll..

[Sonic rises from the back hatch of the Eagle-copter, dressed like a stewardess, and holding a plate with a chili dog in his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Complimentary chili dog, sir?

[''Scratch turns around and stares at Sonic in shock. Sonic picks up the chili dog with his left hand and shoves it into Scratch's mouth. Scratch grumbles unintelligibly, then breathes fire.'']
 * Scratch: Yeow-how-how!

[''Sonic is now holding a fire extinguisher in his right hand and its hose in his left. He sprays Scratch with fire extinguishing foam to put out the fire, covering him in it.'']
 * Sonic: Sorry, sir. No smoking.
 * Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa! Whoa-ho-ho!
 * Sonic: Beginning our approach to Mobius international, egg-bomb cannons in an upright position.

[Sonic pushes the Egg-bomb cannon up.]
 * Sonic: Happy landings!

[''Sonic jumps off the Eagle-copter, losing his disguise in the process. The fire extinguishing foam clears'']
 * Scratch: I'll get you, Sonic!

[Scratch pulls the egg-bomb cannon's fuse with his right hand, causing the egg-bomb cannon to hit and damage the propeller.]
 * Scratch: Aaaah!

[''Scratch's Eagle-copter falls and crashes. Sonic and Tails witness this.'']
 * Sonic: I think he's gonna need a new paint job. Let's glide, Clyde!

[''Sonic grabs Tails by his right arm with his left hand and runs away. In the next scene, Scratch is revealed to be sitting in front of a barn, with stars spinning over his head. Henrietta, the daughter of Farmer Peck, drives her motorcycle up to him''.]
 * Henrietta Peck: My goodness! What happened?
 * Scratch: Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Something happened?
 * Henrietta: Who are you, sir?

[The stars around Scratch's head clear up.]
 * Scratch: Ah! Uh, it takes more than an unscheduled landing to stop Edgar Eagle!

[Meanwhile, at Farmer Peck's house, Farmer Peck and his wife are sitting in their rocking chairs, rocking back and forth in them.]
 * Farmer Peck: Oh, I just hope Sonic gets here! I'm starting to wish I said "yes" to that Robotnik feller.

[Sonic runs up to Farmer Peck.]
 * Sonic: Sorry we're late, Farmer Peck.
 * Farmer Peck: You ought to slow down, son!
 * Sonic: Gotta hop hop! That's what makes me Sonic! Now, how can we help?

[In the next scene, Farmer Peck is showing Sonic and Tails around his farm.]
 * Farmer Peck: So, then this Robotnik feller offers me two mobiums for my whole farm!
 * Sonic: Good thing you didn't take em'. They were probably counterfiet!
 * Farmer Peck: Uh, he said, he was gonna build the biggest robot factory on Mobius, right in the middle of my farm!

[Sure enough, many large machines are seen bulldozing Farmer Peck's farm.]
 * Farmer Peck: What about it, Sonic? Can you help me?
 * Sonic: Do blue hedgehogs have red sneakers?

[''Sonic runs up to the machines. Unknown to him, Robotnik and Grounder are watching him on television.'']
 * Robotnik: Aha! At last, I've got him! The spiny little sap! Does he really think he could sneeze at a genius of my caliber?
 * Grounder: Yeah. He could spread germs!
 * Robotnik: Moron! Get me the device!

[Grounder, who now has a hand where his left drill would be, hands Robotnik a remote control.]
 * Robotnik: Aha! It almost hurts being so brilliant!

[Robotnik snatches the remote from Grounder with his right hand.]
 * Robotnik: Do you know what this is, chips-for-brains?
 * Grounder: Um...

[Grounder's right eye turns into a + sign and his left turns into an = sign.]
 * Robotnik: At last, villains will be able to protect their heinous gizmos from busybodies like Sonic!
 * Grounder: I get it! You change the channels!
 * Robotnik: Numbskull! It's the remote for the Robotnik Diabolical Machine Alarm! Observe!

[''Robotnik presses a button on the remote. Meanwhile, Sonic jumps on top of one of Robotnik's machines. He is near the hatch of the machine.'']
 * Sonic: Hmmm. Be fun to thrash em' with a good ol' triple spin! Nah! Better put em' in reverse so they'll clean up this mess.

[Sonic pulls on the hatch, with no success of opening it.]
 * Robotnik Diabolical Machine Alarm: Attention! These vehicles are off-limits to unauthorized hedgehogs! Tresspassers will be subjected to mindless violence!
 * Sonic: Take a hike, lardnik!
 * [Sonic continues pulling on the hatch as several weapons systems rise from the machine and aim at him]
 * Sonic: On second thought...

[''Sonic runs away from the machine, with three missiles following him. He sits in front of a rock as the missiles land near him and explode, creating a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, Sonic is unharmed, but the land around him isn't, as a gap has formed around Sonic.'']
 * Sonic: Hmmm. This calls for Plan B.

[Sonic runs back up to the machine.]
 * Sonic: There. All you need is a little strategy.

[Sonic walks slowly up, unknowingly stepping on a land mine with his left foot.]
 * Robotnik Land Mine: Mine field activated!

[''Sonic looks down at the land mine, which even says, LAND MINE in black letters. The land mine explodes and launches Sonic into the air. Farmer Peck, Mrs. Peck, and Tails all witness this from Farmer Peck's house.'']
 * Farmer Peck: I hope Sonic's all right.

[Sonic lands near Farmer Peck, and his left sneaker is revealed to have come untied.]
 * Sonic: Ugh! That Robotnik's a menace! My sneaker came untied!

[Henrietta drives her motorcycle, now with Scratch in the passenger seat, up to her parents, Sonic, and Tails.]
 * Henrietta: Look who I found down by the barn!
 * Farmer Peck: Oh, I'll bite, Henrietta. Who?
 * Henrietta: Now, Papa, you know who he is. He's a big star!

[Sonic and Tails look at each other in question.]
 * Sonic and Tails: A star?
 * Henrietta: Yes. Edgar Eagle. Can't you see his official helmet and scarf? He told me all about himself. What a hero!
 * Tails: Gee, Sonic, what's with Scratch?
 * Sonic: Offhand, I'd say he's totally tweaked.

[An explosion can be heard in the background.]
 * Sonic: Uh-oh. Robotnik's machines!

[''Sure enough, Robotnik's machines can be seen building the new robot factory. Henrietta starts to cry upon seeing this.'']
 * Henrietta: Oh, Papa, where will we go?

[Scratch can now be seen in the driver's seat of Henrietta's motorcycle.]
 * Scratch: Don't worry, Ellie. This is a job for... Edgar Eagle!

[Scratch drives Henrietta's motorcycle towards Robotnik's machines.]
 * Sonic: Oh, no! He'll get us blown to smithereens!

[Scratch continues driving towards Robotnik's machines, with a determined sneer on his face.]