User blog:Pinkolol16/Sonic Colours writing was terrible

I know I'm late, but, I want to rage. Plus, I needed to. I want to detail in every cutscene how Sonic went wrong in terms of cutscenes. They were over-excessive, and weren't needed for an entire game. Sure for a bit, but not flooding the game. I'll explain.

Cutscene 1

Tails: Still, an evil plot? I don't know.

This is Eggman we're talking about, are you blind?

Sonic: I'm not sure what's going on, but I'm sure of what I'm gonna do!

Why can't he just jump in there?

Other than that, No problems.

Cutscene 2

First of all, I would like to point out that Tails can change a machine faster than 6 levels and 3 cutscenes. What, did Tails spend the rest of his life on the lounge after Sonic Unleashed? Geez, he's stupid.

Tails: Oh, I was reconfiguring my handheld into a translator so I can understand this guy, did you go somewhere?

Did you not see what happened a cutscene ago? He jumped, saved aliens, and one flew into him! Is Tails blind?

Sonic: Didn't you see? I absorbed those aliens and got powered up with like, some kind of wild energy! And after a few seconds they'd pop outta me!

Tails: Uh, I find that hard to believe.

First of all, Sonic's been through much more than alien energy. Werewolf/hog transformations and Super Saiyan forms, and he's saying it's wild energy? Ridiculous!

Also, why can't Tails believe a simple story? Take this:

(Sonic Unleashed)

Tails: That's some story.

Sonic Colours however...

Tails: Uh, I find that hard to believe...

What the H***? Are they even trying?

Sonic: Yeah, that's pretty much how we spend our time!

What, is saving an entire alien race, about 6 or so planets, nothing to you? You saved an enitre planet from falling apart in Sonic Unleashed, what, is this nothing now?

Cutscene 3

Most of the first part is very entertaining, and I enjoy it. However...

Eggman: ............ and then nothing will stop me! I know I say that everytime, but this time really, nothing will stop me!

You posted ads around an entire planet, where your enemy lives, you think nothing will stop you? Did you ever think about a blue hedgehog?

Oh, and when Sonic appears, instead of sillily slapping his butt, wouldn't he act serious and go beat the Egghead up instead of wasting a cutscene on nothing but humour? Stupidest thing I ever know.

nothing else here, next cutscene.

Cutscene 4

Why does Tails take so long to rebuild a machine? Over 6 levels and an entire boss and 3 cutscenes, and we're talking a fox with an IQ of 250+, and he takes so long to build a simple redesign? God sake, ridiculous.

Sonic: I did a little shopping, grabbed a bite to eat, and trashed a giant killer robot

The former 2 we didn't even see him doing anyway. Plus, this is Eggman, and also, his sarcasm in that line is really terrible.

Tails: I think it's done. It's in binary code, so, only I can read it.

It's in hexadecimal code you dumbo. Also, not only YOU can read it, we're not computers. "I think it's done" when it's got so many bugs(oh, wouldn't Tails find them before he "thought it was done")

Tails: Okay, he says his name is "Talks-a-lot" and he's from a faraway soda, where flowers water them with dances

Really? He doesn't look like he dances alot, plus, there aren't magic flowers. Also, Wisps don't live inside soda cans.

Tails: Okay, he said his name is "Yacker". He's from a race of beings called "Wisps"

Ok, what was the point of the previous line then? You wasted 5 seconds of nothing but a pointless piece of dialogue.

Sonic: Lisps?

Whaaaaaaaaat? He's pronounced other things before, and he just heard Tails say it in a very clear manner. Heck, Marine can't say hovercraft, but Soni can't say Wisp? a word pronounced in a quite clear manner and isn't techno talk seriously isn't acceptable. Also, I must point out, there are WAY too many fourth wall jokes. This isn't a play you doopheads.

Tails: So they're either being used for their powers by an evil man, or to make underwear to be worn by salad.

Really? Salad came to life? I get the joke "dressing" and all, but that's just lame. Really lame. In fact, why can't he just FIX that thing?

Cutscene 6(any area)

Sonic: Experience has taught me to investiagate anything that glows.

Well, why can't you just beat it up? You're a super-fast hedgehog capable of beating that thing up, clearly that thing is being held up.

Sonic: Experience has also taught me that the best way to solve problems, is to kick robot butt!

Why can't he go in there and beat it up already? Geez, he's more lazy than anyone would think!(only by contents of this game)

Sonic: Excuse me, giant killer robot, you wanna do this the hard way, or the easy way?

Why is he asking if he can do it hard or easy? I mean COME ON, in other games, he rushes in without cocky jokes that just waste time. And I think the bosses get tired of his jokes too.

Sonic: Somehow I knew you'd say that! Lets dance!

Bosses cannot talk unless they have a reason. Fighting characters, ok. Bosses, robot bosses don't talk. Stupid drunk hedgehog.

Cutscene 7

Sonic: Hey, Tails! You missed the BBBE(...) Best Boss Beating Ever!

How the H*** does he know he's in a game? Look, I know some fourth wall jokes are funny, but that is pretty lame.

Tails: Well, first, remember this translation stuff isn't 100%

What? He can build a plane better than that piece of **** he's holding in his hands.

Tails: So anyway, these aliens are made up of a REALLY powerful energy source called Hyper-go-ons. It's inside of them...

Sonic: Like a battery?

Tails: No.. well, sort of. It's their life source. You only got a taste of it, and look at what happened. Battery is sort of an understatement.

Whaaaaaaat? If it's inside of them, and powers them to keep them alive, it's like a battery. Even though it's powerful, it can still be considered like one. What, are you expecting a REAL BATTERY inside a Wisp? That's lame. LAME!(wish I could put a picture up, can't though.)

Tails: Funny thing, it was first translated into "horrible body odor"

(Sonic sniffs himself)

Seriously? Hyper-go-on actually translated to stink? Ridiculous. Also, why does Sonic just sniff himself randomly? What, is he afraid if he doesn't smell good he'll turn into a skunk? Stupid hedgehog.

Tails: He's draining them of all their power and using it for an evil... aquatic mammal? An evil dolphin? No, a porpoise! Oh, and evil purpose!

No S**, Einstein. And why does he rely on that thing so much if it's got bugs? Jesus Christ, couldn't he think independently?

Cutscene 8

Sonic: Tails, is that you humming?

What, did Tails turn into a singer? Or a machine?

Eggman appears, fires a laser, hits Tails after Tails shot Sonic out of the way.

Sonic's a super-fast hedgehog, he can get up quicker than what's depicted.

Also, why can't Sonic clearly see that Tails has grown evil, can he NOT see the purple laser going into his back?

Sonic: What have you done to him?

Eggman: Me, I did nothing at all! Unless shooting him with my mind control ray that runs on alien energy counts as doing something to him. Does it?

What? You shot a fox in the back with a mind control ray and you say "I did nothing at ALL"? Idiot.

The next scene is really stupid. In the opening CGI of the game, we see that Tails can keep up with Sonic by flying. However, when Sonic tries to get to Eggman, Tails is seen running to keep up with Sonic. Heck, when Tails runs, he runs at speeds of a little higher than a normal person, but cannot outrun, or even match Sonic. He's also showing almost no leg movement whatsoever, so it seems like he's teleporting from one place to another. Also, why can't Sonic run faster? He's faster than what the cutscene depicts, plus, if anything, why couldn't he JUMP and hit Eggman, it's not like hitting Eggman's gonna kill Tails. Really bad cutscene development here.

The dialogue here is kinda good, until...

Sonic: Haha! Pay up, Tails! I told you he had an evil plot, and that comin' here was a good idea! There it is straight from the horses mouth!

Why is Sonic suddenly interested in gambling now? Geez, in Sonic Heroes he's done it, but hey, that had a reason(Casino themed), and he didn't talk about it afterwards(too focused on beating Eggman, which I liked). And also, Eggmans a person. There are no horses in Sonic history, nor will there ever be one because of the head porportion. There might be, but there's a strong possiblity that there won't. However, at the time, there were no horses, so shut up. This is also a life threatening situation, and all you care about is money? You suck low, dude, low.