Eggman Family Vacation/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Eggman Family Vacation".

[Scene: Canyon, Day]
 * [Morpho, as Granifer Giganticus, chases Sonic through the canyon, but crashes into a boulder.]
 * Sonic: Over here! Pretty close! Are you even trying?
 * Dr. Eggman: [To Morpho] You dunce! Can't you do anything right?
 * [Granifer Giganticus morphs back to Morpho and spins next to Eggman]
 * Morpho: Doing the best I can, brother!
 * Dr. Eggman: You're not my brother. You're my shape-shifting robot doppelganger from another dimension.
 * Morpho: Like I'd want to be the brother of some Pudge factory who can't even defeat a gerbil?
 * [Eggman grunts trades hands with Morpho.]

[Scene: Mombot's house, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: I had the most failsafe of failsafeist plans but this hammerhead still found a way to ruin it!
 * Morpho: Look, son. Why don't you shape-shift into a giant rock monster? Oh wait. You can't.
 * [Morpho and Eggman trade hands again. Mombot loses her patience, stomping on the ground.]
 * Mombot: That is it! I will not have my two darling boys fighting.
 * Morpho and Eggman: [Glumly and slowly] Sorry mama.
 * Mombot: Now I was saving this for your next victory. But since that's not coming anytime soon, I've got a big surprise for you boys!
 * Dr. Eggman: [Excitedly] Breakfast for dinner?!
 * Mombot: You just had dinner. I bought a timeshare in beautiful downtown Roboken.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * Orbot: I can't wait to visit the bodywood walk of fame. Think we'll see any stars?
 * Dr. Eggman: I can guarantee it if you don't stop annoying me! [Grunts fiercely]
 * Tails: Sounds like Eggman's going on a vacation.
 * Sonic: Which means we finally get a break from old Baldy McNosehair.
 * [All five members of Team Sonic raise their hand up in the air together and cheer. Eggman is inside the rocket.]
 * Dr. Eggman: We're right here, you know.
 * [The rocket takes off to Roboken.]
 * Amy: So, what do you guys want to do? [Sonic hesitates] That was a rhetorical question. I've already drawn up an itinerary. First up, nature walk!
 * [The rest of Team Sonic groan.]
 * Knuckles: I miss Eggman.

[Scene Change: Roboken, day]
 * Mombot: Here we are! Our luxury timeshare!
 * Dr. Eggman: Well what do you know? The telemarketer who scammed you into buying a timeshare was loosey-goosey on the details.
 * Mombot: Oh suck up! We're gonna spend the day sightseeing anyway.
 * [Suddenly, Eggman, Morpho, Orbot, Cubot and Mombot get tangled around a cable.]

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * [Sonic, Sticks, Tails and Amy are walking across the island.]
 * Amy: Isn't it great to be able to enjoy the peace and quiet?
 * [Knuckles flies on a vine and makes Tarzan noises, crashing into a tree.]
 * Amy: Quit fooling around! [Quickly] You're disturbing us dealing with this delicate ecosystem!
 * Sonic: Leave Knuckles alone. He's not harming anyone.
 * [Knuckles pulls a tree branch which turns out to be a lever that opens and activates one of Eggman's hidden missiles. The missiles launches off into the sky.]
 * Sticks: Great job, Knuckles! You activated one of Eggman's cold war missiles!
 * Tails: Looks like it's headed for Gogoba Village!
 * Sonic: [Whistling] Well, guess we better go save them.
 * [Team Sonic take Tails' Plane to track down the missile. Knuckles jumps off the plane and grabs hold of the missile. Sonic and Sticks do the same.]
 * Tails: Knuckles, we gotta recalibrate the rudder to change the missile trajectory!
 * Sonic: Bend that thing!
 * [Knuckles bends the fin of the missile. The missiles moves a little erratically before moving upwards, evading Gogoba Village. Sonic and Sticks celebrate.]
 * Knuckles: Uh oh.
 * [The missile explodes into a snowy mountain. Sonic, Sticks and Knuckles land in pain.]

[Scene Change: Roboken, day]
 * [A Montage plays. Mombot, Orbot, Cubot and Morpho are taking a tour of Roboken. Mombot takes pictures of the surroundings. Eggman follows behind them, upset.]

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * [Back at Seaside Island, Team Sonic are trapped by a snake. Knuckles tries punching the snake while it sticks its tongue out at Sonic.]

[Scene Change: Roboken, day]
 * [Mombot, Orbot, Cubot and Morpho, are having a massage by robots. The robot massaging Eggman stretches his legs backwards, rolls him over, and stretches his whole body out trying to break him.]

[Scene Change: Cave, day]
 * [Team Sonic are walking across a dark cave. Knuckles spots plenty of eyes stare at him, making him and the rest of Team Sonic scream and run back out with Widabits chasing them.]

[Scene Change: Roboken, day]
 * [Eggman, Orbot, Cubot, Mombot and Morpho are having dinner. Eggman tries a steak, and gets annoyed just before he puts the slice in his mouth. The Montage ends]
 * Dr. Eggman: I asked for the steak medium-well not medium wealth.
 * Morpho: Whohohoa! Look, handcrafted knickknacks that say I heart Roboken but serve no actual function.
 * Cubot: We better get over there before they sell out.
 * [Everyone except Eggman head off to the knickknacks, leaving Eggman behind.]
 * Dr. Eggman: I can't believe I'm stuck here among all these thrillbillies. Down the bright side at least there's no Sonic to chat...
 * Cyborg Sonic: Hello, egghead!
 * [Eggman gasps and sees Cyborg Sonic, Mighton and Bolts, looking angrily at him.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Even in the sky I can't get away from you do-gooders. Hello, Blighton and Dolts.
 * Bolts: It's Mighton and Bolts, you've made an ortho-phonetic error.
 * Mighton: Cut to the chase Nancy. What are you doing in Roboken?
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm on vacation with my Mombot.
 * Bolts: Probability of Eggman choosing Roboken his vacation destination: 4,693.88621
 * Dr. Eggman: Impressive! [Runs closer to Bolts] you calculated that in no seconds flat. [Configuring the back of Bolts] What kind of processor you running in there?
 * Cyborg Sonic: [Holds Eggman back] Don't change the subject. We know you're up to no good.
 * Mombot: Come on, sweetie. You're missing out on all the nifty fridge magnets.

[Scene Change: Roboken, night]
 * [Mombot, Orbot and Cubot are having fun sticking fridge magnets on each others.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Look, Steve. I know we've had our differences.
 * Mombot: [Off-screen] Our brothers do.
 * Morpho and Eggman: Not brothers, just a human is a shape-shifting robot doppelganger from another dimension.
 * Dr. Eggman: Listen. I have a deliciously evil scheme. And to pull it off, I'm gonna need your help.

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * [Team Sonic are walking across Seaside Island, all tired.]
 * Sonic: Ugh... This vacation is killing me. Next time can we just hang out on a hammock by the beach?
 * Amy: Oh relax. We're almost home. Huh?
 * [Amy leans on a fake tree which deploys another missile.]
 * Sonic: You gotta be kidding me.

[Scene Change: Roboken, evening]
 * [Eggman and Morpho are tiptoeing across the inside of a building, avoiding the guards along the way.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Whispering] That little lame-o's intellect is off the charts. If I could snag his intelligence chip and install it in one my robots, Sonic wouldn't know what hit him.
 * Morpho: Leave it to me, brotato. [Morphs into Mighton] Bolts! There you are duderino.
 * Bolts: [Confused] Duderino. Are you feeling OK?
 * Morpho: [As Mighton] Totes OK. Think you can download me some insta snaps off the bit tube?
 * Bolts: Right now.
 * [Morpho morphs into a piranha plant and eats Bolts. With Bolts trapped, Eggman steals the chip and laughs. Bolts is shut down as he is released. The plant morphs back into Morpho and he and Eggman escape the building. The real Mighton runs over to Bolts, and is horrified to find the intelligence chip is taken away from him. Mighton picks him up.]
 * Mighton: I'll find the coward who did this to you! Something tells me I know exactly who to blame.
 * Morpho: We did it, dude.
 * Dr. Eggman: No Steve. You did it, you beautiful abomination you.
 * [Morpho and Eggman give a high five, fist bump and jump on their backs.]
 * Mombot: Oh isn't Mombot's heart good to see her boys getting along.
 * [Suddenly some angry tapping is heard. Mighton and Cyborg Sonic are waiting outside the door.]
 * Mighton: Open up, dirtbags!
 * Dr. Eggman: Rapture has been a grand vacation but time to go.
 * Mombot: What is going on?
 * Dr. Eggman: Let's just say I might have rub some of the locals the wrong way if we don't leave right now they're gonna crush us in Walmart in space. Come on, we got the back!
 * Mombot: But I have to clean, or I'll lose my deposit!
 * [Eggman and Morpho grab Mombot, leaving her brush behind.]

[Scene Change: Roboken, night] [''Eggman, Morpho, Mombot, Orbot and Cubot hurry to the Egg Rocket. Mighton and Cyborg Sonic try to chase them, but they're too late as the rocket takes off. They use a spaceship to take off and locate the villains.'']

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * [Team Sonic, tired, are briskly walking across Seaside Island to their homes with Tails and Knuckles holding each other.]
 * Sticks: I think I need a vacation from this vacation.
 * Sonic: Uh... At least we're almost home and can put this nightmare behind us.
 * [Sonic looks up from the sky and notices the Egg Rocket and a spaceship.]
 * Sonic: Spoke too soon.

[Scene Change: Canyon, day]
 * Mighton: Hand over that chip before I give you a mouthful of punch.
 * Dr. Eggman: You're too late! I already installed a little friend's intelligence chip in my Fire Bot. Good luck outsmarting him now.
 * Sonic: Fire Bot's never beaten us before egghead. What makes you think... Whoa!
 * [A fireball approaches Sonic, but he gets out of the way as the fireball strikes a wall. Fire Bot shoots more fireballs at Sonic.]
 * Sonic: Doesn't matter how smart you are. You're too slow!
 * [Fire Bot shoots more fireballs to the ground where Sonic is. Sonic burns his feet.]
 * Sonic: Wow. That thing is smart.
 * Mighton: Let's see how he handles a little brute force.
 * [Mighton unleashes the rocket arm towards Fire Bot. Instead of dodging it, it releases the intelligence chip, falling onto a Motobug and activating it. The Motobug prepares to roll to the rest of Team Sonic. Amy and Tails try a double attack from the side, but the Motobug rolls backwards. Amy and Tails clash heads.]
 * Sticks: No worries. I got this!
 * [Sticks throws her boomerang. The Motobug tilts to dodge it, and directly hits her. With her dazed, the boomerang knocks her over. Cyborg Sonic tries a spin attack. Motobug releases the intelligence chip and is caught by a Bee Bot. It dodges a thrown stone]
 * Knuckles: You'll never outsmart me.
 * [Bee Bot displays a set of keys to Knuckles. Knuckles tries to catch them but gets struck by Bee Bot's stinger, knocking him down.]
 * Dr. Eggman: My upgraded minions are too crafty for your tired old moves.
 * [The Bee Bot gets broken by Sticks' Boomerang. The Chip is released and trades places with several different robots.]
 * Sonic: Which one has the chip now?
 * Knuckles: I dunno. Let's just crush them all!
 * [As Team Sonic prepare to destroy the robots, Mombot screams, stopping Team Sonic. Sonic freezes in mid air.]
 * Mombot: Look at all of you, fighting and carrying on. It's senseless is what it is.
 * Dr. Eggman: No, it's... Kind of my life's work.
 * Mombot: Studies have shown that violence begins only more egregious violence, at an annually adjusted rate of 87.154%.
 * Sticks: She's got the swatch chip. I say we bump that senseless violence that up to an even 88%!
 * [Sticks, Cyborg Sonic, and Mighton charge towards Mombot. Eggman, Morpho, Orbot and Cubot protect her and stop the three in their tracks.]
 * Dr. Eggman: We can stand idly by while you pulverize my minions in the shrapnel, but when you mess with my Mombot you've gone too far!
 * [Eggman picks up the intelligence chip off Mombot and hands it to them.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Here's your dumb old smart chip. Family's more important than vengeance, I guess.
 * [Mighton give the intelligence chip back to Bolts. Bolts activates.]
 * Bolts: Wow. I feel so rested!
 * Sonic: [Miserably] Dude, don't rub it in.

[Scene Change: Mombot's house, day]
 * [Eggman, Morpho, Orbot, Cubot and Mombot are having dinner.]
 * Mombot: Looks like my plan for a family vacation brought us closer after all. I'm so proud of my boys.
 * Dr. Eggman: Mombot, I learned something today. You don't get to choose you family, unless you invented them like I did, not that I invented Steve and that was me in another dimension but you get the point.
 * Morpho: True, that.
 * [Eggman spits out a small bolt from a slice of pie. Eggman spots several bolts inserted in the pie and grunts angrily.]