Chain Letter/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Chain Letter".

[Scene: Eggman's Lair, Day]
 * Dr. Eggman: I'll admit you've got some smooth moves, but wait'll you see the scope of my wrath. Take [presses a button] that!
 * [Eggman is playing a computer game. The game pauses and a message icon pops up on the screen.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh man. This pop-up had totes interrupted my pwnage.
 * Orbot: That's not an ad. It's a message on your FriendSpace account.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Excitedly] Ooh! Somebody wrote me!
 * [He presses a button, showing the message on the screen.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Reading the message] If you do not forward this message to three friends you will be cursed with bad luck forever. [Normally] I'll just send it to three friends and kiss bad luck goodbye. [Realizes something] Wait a sec. I don't have any friends. [Commander's voice] Orbot, Cubot, I command you to FriendSpace me!
 * [Orbot and Cubot press buttons on their tablets. Two messages, each displaying a picture of the two robots, show up on Eggman's computer.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Excitedly clapping his hands] Ooh! I have two friend requests.
 * [Eggman presses two buttons. However he grunts in disappointment as nothing happens.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Miserably] That awkward moment when you boss tears apart the lair searching for the remote only to realize it was stuck to his butt the whole time.
 * Orbot: That could've been about any boss?
 * Dr. Eggman: Hashtag Eggman problems? [He glares at Orbot. Orbot quivers in fear]
 * Cubot: [Laughs] That's a good one. I gotta share that. [Presses a button]
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh no it's trending! I'll deal with you two later. Right now I gotta get me a third friend.

[Scene Change: Village Center, Day]
 * [Eggman tells passers-by walking across the village to be a friend.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Looking at Wild Cat] Be my friend. [Wild Cat sahes his head and runs off] Just looking for some love, buddies. [Nervously] You like chat rooms? [Eventually, no-one bothers and walk on by] Why is it so hard for an evil villain to win the trust of the of the people it victimizes?
 * [He spots Redd Heron, struggling to carry boxes while he's walking. He comes over to him.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Need help moving, [Slowly] Friend?!

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day]
 * [Redd Heron pasts a blueprint up on the wall. Eggman struggles to carry the boxes as he walks next to him.]
 * Redd Heron: The people in this town are so nice. What was it you said you'll do again?
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh you'll find out soon enough. [Stands up straight with confidence] Hey. We should stay in touch. Let's link up on FriendSpace.
 * Redd Heron: [Laughs] I'll be delighted. Because it might take me a bit. My computer's buried in one of these boxes, and besides I probably won't have internet hooked up for a few weeks.
 * [Eggman immediately drops the boxes and walks off. The boxes land on Redd Heron's feet, hurting him.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * [Eggman walks across the village with a frown and notices the Rabbit Girl typing on her phone.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Hey, there's that Rabbit Girl. She's so hip and condescending. I bet she's got hundreds of friends! [Stands next to her] What's shaking, girlfriend? Snap-ins himself into you BFFs? That's on, fleek?
 * Rabbit Girl: Ew. You sound like my mom when she tries to relate to me.
 * Dr. Eggman: Parents right? They're so quack. Hey, since we have so much in common, how about being my friend on FriendSpace?
 * Rabbit Girl: FriendSpace? That is so two weeks ago.
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh. Tell me about it. Boresville! So, what should I be using?
 * Rabbit Girl: SnarkChat, duh! [A chime sounds] Nevermind. SnarkChat's so over.
 * [Eggman facepalms.]

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * [Eggman find Old Monkey and talks to him.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Need a hand crossing the street, old timer?
 * Old Monkey: [Holds Eggman's arm] Oh what a nice young man. Are you trying to earn your merit badge?
 * Dr. Eggman: Eh... something like that. If you would be so kind, when you get back to the home, boot up your computer, lives on the FriendSpace, and shoot a friend request my way.
 * Old Monkey: [Confused] Shoot out my comp, who's it to what this, huh space?
 * [Eggman growls and angrily stomps off. Afterwards, a car runs into him, knocking him high in the air and falling to the ground on his back. As he coughs, Dave the Intern opens his car door and gasps in horror]
 * Dave: This is bad. [Puts both hands on his head] Oh no, Oh no!
 * [Old Monkey stands up]
 * Dave: Oh good. He's OK.
 * [Dave gets back in his car and boots it up. However, he screams again as the car reverses back into Old Monkey, driving into him a second time. He stops as soon as a crash is heard. Dave turns his head round and sees Old Monkey down on the ground again.]
 * Dave: Whoa!
 * [He drives forwards, leaving Old Monkey alone. The Old Monkey gets up and walks again.]

[Scene Change: Rec Center, Day]
 * [Sonic, Tails, Amy and Knuckles are playing soccer. Tails is seen having the ball first. With Sonic running alongside, he kicks the ball underneath Amy's legs and flies over her. He passes it to Sonic. Sonic approaches Knuckles - who is playing in goal - with the ball.]
 * Sonic: And the blue blur lines up for what is sure to be his record 25th consecutive goal.
 * [Just before Sonic shoots, Eggman appears and snatches the ball off from him, landing on his back.]
 * Sonic: Good grief.
 * Dr. Eggman: Hey guys, what you doing? Shooting hoops, tossing around the old pigskin? Doing... sports?
 * [Sonic grunts as he gets up]
 * Sonic: [Annoyed] What do you want, Egghead?
 * Dr. Eggman: What? I don't want anything. [Fiercely] I demand you add me on FriendSpace.
 * Sonic: No way. You're not my friend, you're my enemy.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Upset] Well, fine. I don't want to be a friend anyway. I was only asking because [Whimpers] because [Shouting] My Mombot made me!
 * [He drops the ball and furiously kicks it away as far as he can, only to land by Sonic feet. Breaking down, Eggman runs away from Team Sonic.]
 * Amy: I kinda feel bad for the guy.
 * Tails: It might not be such a bad idea to add Eggman on FriendSpace. It would be a great way to keep tabs on him.
 * [Sonic looks away and thinks]
 * Sonic: Yeah.

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, HQ room, day]
 * [Eggman is sitting alone on a chair]
 * Dr. Eggman: Do I really have no friends? Maybe it's time to take a hard look at myself. Change my attitude, try being nice to people. [Eggman hears a sound on his computer and gets excited] A friend request!
 * [The screen shows up Sonic as a friend request.]
 * Dr. Eggman From Sonic the Hedgehog?! And to think I was about to needlessly improve myself.

[Scene Change: Sonic's Shack, day]
 * [Sonic is sleeping on his hammock. His wrist controller sounds. He looks at it and reads a message.]
 * Sonic: If you do not forward this message to three friends, [Gets annoyed] Oh, geeze. Delete!
 * [He presses the delete button and goes back to sleep. The wrist controller sounds again repeatedly. He jumps out of his hammock frightened and lands belly-flop on the ground.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * Amy: So he's an oversharer.
 * Tails: Yeah, just ignore him. The way Meh Burger ignores their customer complaint forms.
 * Dave: We're not ignoring them. We're just saving them in case we run out of napkins.
 * Sonic: [Angrily holding a drink] Eggman is a social media menace. During this conversation alone, he animated gif of a dancing penguin, a check-in at Wolf Sidekick's open mic, and a poorly written article complaining about the mayor's private email server.
 * Amy: I'm sure he'll settle down eventually.
 * [Sonic's wrist controller sounds again. Annoyed, he squeezes the drink and it spills out. The lid with the straw lands on his head.]
 * Sonic: Argh.
 * Dave: You're gonna need a two-pie for that one. [Showing some complaint forms] Thankfully this guy had a long list of complaints.

[Scene Change: Hedgehog Village, day]
 * [T.W. Barker is on stage with the two Stunt Bears delivering a speech to the rest of the villagers.]
 * Barker: People have accused me of running a pyramid scheme. To them I say "sign up and find out for yourself".
 * [The villagers look at each other. Moments later Sonic arrives on the scene and confronts Barker.]
 * Sonic: You're not gonna get away from this scam, Barker.
 * Barker: Scam is such a harsh term. I like to think of it as relieving my clients of the undue burden of carrying a heavy wallet. Stunt Bears, why don't you break it down for them.
 * [Both bears growl at Sonic. Stunt Bear No. 1 charges at Sonic. At the same time Sonic's wrist controller sounds.]
 * Sonic: Huh? [Sighs and gets annoyed] What now? I'm not even in this picture. Why did he tag me?
 * [Stunt Bear No. 1 grapples Sonic off the stage with the rest of the villagers watching and powerslams him into the ground. Sonic grunts in anger and gets back up. The bear growls and charges at Sonic again. At the same time Sonic's wrist controller sounds again.]
 * Sonic: Huh? Dude, this means like, five years old.
 * [Sonic gets struck by the bear again but is able to get up. His wrist controller sounds yet again.]
 * Sonic: [Angrily] Another cast video? That's it, I'm unfriending him!
 * [He presses a button on his wrist controller]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, HQ room, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: Ooh! "Talk like a pirate" day is coming up. I should send Sonic a reminder. [While typing on the computer] Ahoy, matey.
 * [Eggman gasps as an angry-looking Sonic icon covered by a flashing "No" sign shows up on his screen.]
 * Dr. Eggman: What? Sonic unfriended me? Now I'm sure it was a misunderstanding. Now just send him another friend request. We'll be lolling about this later. Heheh.
 * [Eggman types on the computer. The computer buzzes and the message stays on the screen.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Rejected. Two can play at this game. I'll create my own social network, with no Sonic's allowed. [Evil Laugh]

[Scene Change: Eggman's Lair, day]
 * [Eggman is holding a discussion with Orbot and Cubot]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Talking to Cubot] Right. What does every successful social media site need?
 * Cubot: Uh... Picture of your lunch?
 * Orbot: Easyshare ability of clickabait articles?
 * Dr. Eggman: [While writing on his notepad] That good, That's good. How about a way to force everybody to look at pictures of your ugly baby.
 * [He snickers and writes again. Orbot puts his hands up]
 * Orbot: Might I also suggest the ability to give the bare minimum of acknowledgement to someone without actually writing anything?
 * Dr. Eggman: I like that. I'm gonna call it winking. [While writing] That'll be a great feature on my social media site. Now I just need to get the right buzz going.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * [Eggman walks across the village. Sonic arrives on the scene and collides with him.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh, Sonic. Didn't see you there. Must have unfriended you from my peripheral vision.
 * Sonic: Still mad, Egg-butt. Maybe if you didn't send me pictures of your brunch every eight seconds none of this would have happened
 * Dr. Eggman: Well, excuse me for thinking you'd appreciate a good Eggs Benedict. Now, if you don't mind I have someone I need to speak with. [Pushes Sonic aside] Oh what's up gal pal? I've got one word for you.
 * [He stands opposite Rabbit Girl who is sat down typing on her phone and not looking at him.]
 * Rabbit Girl: Is it "Goodbye?
 * Dr. Eggman: No. It's "Scrambler", my new social networking site. It's got a super simple interface, easy navigation, targeted ads based on all your personal data...
 * Rabbit Girl: Yes.
 * Dr. Eggman: [Miserably] Well, so much for scrambler and nobody even got to use it.
 * [He walks off but Rabbit Girl stands up excitedly and speaks to him.]
 * Rabbit Girl: Did you say there are no users?! That sounds uber exclusive! I'm in. [She types on her phone and a chime sounds. She shows it to Eggman] And so are 3000 of my closest friends!
 * [Eggman's wrist controller sounds]
 * Dr. Eggman: Everything's coming up, Eggman!

[Scene Change: Hedgehog Village, day]
 * [Sonic is walking across villagers who are typing on their phones. In the background Mrs. Vandersnout and Mike the Ox bump into each other and walk off. Sonic get a fright and steps aside from Walrus Male, who is also typing. He finds Amy who is sitting on the bench playing on her wrist controller.]
 * Sonic: Ames, what's going on around here?
 * Amy: We all signed up for Scrambler. It's a new social media site. Now, instead of talking to people, you just fry a message over to their Scrambler pan.