Forum:Riddles, Jokes. and plain old fun!!!

Hi everyone! do you have a good riddle or a hilarious joke? post it here. please, no edits to other peoples stuff... I'll start: Tall I am old, short I am young, What am I?? How do a blondes brain cells die? Alone!!
 * ..with life I do glow, your breath is my foe. A Candle.--Mystic Monkey 17:18, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

lol, i know a few blond jokes, (no offence to anyone) so there are two blonds, walking in the woods and one sees some tracks and says "look! i've found some rabbit tracks!" the other one replies "there not rabbit tracks, they're deer tracks" the two start fighting over the matter until there hit by a train.  Myself 123  15:44, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Heres my riddle. A man was stabbed to death with no evidense of who have commited the crime, not even a fingerprint. However, the results show that the murder weapon is a puddle of water which was found at the scene of the crime. How was the person murdered?--Mystic Monkey 17:18, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

Those pesky icicles.  Myself 123  17:37, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Im suprised you got that off the bat. I managed to keep a topic on an Invision Board going for 3 pages with that one.--Mystic Monkey 17:48, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * To tell you the truth, i have heard of it before.  Myself 123  17:50, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Ah, 'k then. It'll take some time before I remember my original riddle I made up once.--Mystic Monkey 17:52, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I've made up one right, there are ten steps, one man comes and walks up all ten and reaches the top, another man comes and takes only 5 steps and raches the top and another only takes one step and reaches the top. how?  Myself 123  17:46, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * He used an esculator?--Mystic Monkey 17:53, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Yep, most people don't get it straight away.  Myself 123  17:55, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * It wa a guest, that or really long legs.--Mystic Monkey 17:57, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * lol no, you were right the first time.  Myself 123  18:04, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I have one. Itwas in a comedy show. I call it "Replacement Words:"

Guy 1: What the fruit is goin' on here!?

Guy 2: Shut up you ice cream cone!!

Guy 1: Did you just call me an ice cream cone!?--

Guy 2: You better believe it you ''Cobble Damp 'n' fruitin' dumb soup!"

S.H. 02:14 PM, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

I dont get it...The Chosen One of Psychic 21:20, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Nah, skimmed off me as well.--Mystic Monkey 22:38, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

what is something that the maker of it does not want, the buyer does not need, and the user does not see himself use it?--: The  Chosen One Of  Water ;) ''' 23:11, 16 March 2009 (UTC)
 * A Coffin! I know that one in advance! The one who doesn't know to use it, is still alive, or dead before buying it.--Mystic Monkey 23:26, 16 March 2009 (UTC)

good one--: The  Chosen One Of  Water ;) ''' 00:59, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

tall i am young, short i am old.The Chosen One of Fire 01:00, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

you guys don't get it??? oh come on! the food words are replacing bad words! "what the fruit" means "what the f**k" "fruitin' dumb soup" is "f*****g d**n sh*t". --S.H. 01:05, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

my riddle, what's the answer, oh yah, to sh, uh uh.The Chosen One of Fire 01:08, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Bleh. I've never been good with jokes. But I guess I've got a couple of DBS ones.
 * A blonde walks into an electric store. She goes over to the manager. *Pointing* "May I please buy that mini-tv?" she asks. "No." replies the manager. "Why not?" she now asks. He gives her a stern look. "No blondes allowed." The manager proceeds to call security, to throw her out.
 * The next day, she tries again. "May I please but that mini-tv?!" she pleads to him. "I told you yesterday, no blondes allowed." He kicks her out again.
 * The same thing happens on the next day, and the day after that. Eventually, the blonde gets a plan, to trick the manager.
 * The blonde walks in, wearing a brunette wig. She sees the manager doing some paper-work in his office. She points at the same spot as usual. "Sir...May I please own that mini-tv?" she tries using a disguised voice. Startled, the manager looks up from his desk. "? No....No blondes allowed?" He questions his thoughts, and looks down again. "Excuse me?! That's discrimeynason (Spelled wrong on purpose.)!" She pauses for a moment. "Clearly, I am a brunette you arrogant jerk." The manager chuckles a little. "Ma'am, you wanna know what's wrong with your plan?" "W-what's that?" she asks, surprised. "First off", he begins "Your wig is backwards, and I can see alot of the blonde. Second off, we're closed on Sundays. I don't know how you got in, but you shouldn't be here. Lastly," he laughs again "That's a microwave, not a tv!"
 * Well? SLJCO AAATR 4 6 8 15 16 23 42 108 305 316  01:56, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

lol SLJ, ive heard that one, but this is like the improved version of it--: The  Chosen One Of  Water ;) ''' 02:01, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

Fire you either said it wrong the first time or the second time.  Myself 123  13:58, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Of course, mine is old.... XD At least you thought it was better. SLJCO AAATR 4 6 8 15 16 23 42 108 305 316  22:20, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

I got a small joke-riddle thing. Show me an i with a dot over it.--Mystic Monkey 23:55, 17 March 2009 (UTC)

What, like this? .
 * ________________i  Myself 123  23:59, 17 March 2009 (UTC)
 * In edit I can tell you got the answer right. :)--Mystic Monkey 00:07, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Took me ages to get it right.  Myself 123  00:12, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * Well, Im gonna be awake most tonight thinking up a new original riddle.--Mystic Monkey 00:17, 18 March 2009 (UTC)
 * I don't have to worry 'bout getting up early cus i start college at 13:15 :P.  Myself 123  00:20, 18 March 2009 (UTC)