Designated Heroes/Transcript

This is the transcript of the Sonic Boom episode, "Designated Heroes".

[Scene: Unnamed Village, day]
 * [Dr. Eggman laughs and fires lasers at a Toy Factory.]
 * Orbot: Dr. Eggman's really tearing into that toy in-game factory.
 * Cubot: What does that toy in-game factory ever do to him?
 * Dr. Eggman: Haven't you imbeciles ever been in a covet operation? I need complete silence or we might be discovered!
 * [Eggman unloads a vacuum machine and activates it, sucking up all the toys in the factory. Team Sonic arrive, and look at Eggman]
 * Sonic: [shouting] Not so fast, Egghead!
 * Dr. Eggman: What? Hold on, let me turn this thing off! [To Orbot and Cubot] I told you your shouting would attract attention. Ball Bots, attack!
 * [Ball Bots charge towards Team Sonic. Sonic uses a racket and bounces the Ball bot back. It hits the Eggmobile. Orbot and Cubot are on commentary.]
 * Orbot: I think the viewers will agree there is nothing like watching a contest between two evenly matched competitiors, one of whom always loses to the other.
 * Cubot: That's right, Orbot. So. What is Eggman's strategy? We talked with him earlier.
 * Dr. Eggman: [On camera] I told you talking bedpans already! By robbing the village of any source of fun the citizens will become sad, dry husks; and will pay huge fees to enjoy my new amusement park. [Angrily] Now get that camera out of my face!
 * [Amy stops a rolling Ball Bot and swings it away with her hammer, hitting Eggman's chest.]
 * Orbot: Ooh! Let's see that again in slow motion.
 * [A Slow motion replay of the Ball Bot hitting Eggman plays]
 * Sticks: [To a beat] I can do a Ball Bot. I can do it quick. I can hit a Ball Bot just like this.
 * [Sticks quickly makes a net with several skipping ropes. Once made, she jumps and collects three charging Ball Bots. She swings and throws the net to Knuckles. He catches it and throws it to the ground, punching it.]
 * Cubot: Oh... You hate to see that happen to promising young Ball Bots.
 * [Knuckles merges three Ball Bots into a giant bowling ball, rolling it towards Orbot and Cubot. They scream but they're too late, getting struck by the bowling ball and knocking Eggman off his Eggmobile. Tails picks up the baseball bat and prepares to swing.]
 * Tails: Batter up!
 * [Tails swings and misses three Ball Bots.]
 * Orbot: Swing and a miss. Swing and a miss. Swing and a miss.
 * [Tails cutting a frustrated figure throws the bat down, and unleashes a Glue Gun. He shoots a Ball Bot from behind, then shoots at Eggman, Orbot and Cubot, covering them all with glue. Team Sonic celebrate.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Slow sarcastic clap, slow sarcastic clap. Sorry, I do the real things if my hands weren't, you know.
 * Sonic: What's your problem, Eggman? You're letting all the air out of our victory.
 * Dr. Eggman: Some victory? Five against one! If you want to be fair you'd only battle one-on-one from now on. That is unless you'd prefer it to be unfair.
 * [Team Sonic agree with Eggman, declining about trying to play unfair. Sticks looks at team Sonic]
 * Sticks: Uh... I don't care anyway.
 * Sonic: Okay, Eggman. You got yourself a deal. In the interest of fairness only one of us will battle you at a time. Shake?
 * [Sonic realizes that Eggman is still covered in glue. Sonic handshakes Eggman's moustache instead.]

[Scene Change: Outside Unnamed Village, day]
 * [Amy unleashes her hammer and jumps up to the Eggmobile, but is interrupted]
 * Dr. Eggman: I was just thinking. That hammer of yours. Uh, forget it. Just smash my teeth.
 * Amy: No, tell me. What?
 * Dr. Eggman: Well, it would be great for my recycling project. I take old cans and make playthings for needy robot kids. That Hammer would be helpful for flattering the cans, that's all.
 * Amy: You recycle, and help needy kids?
 * Dr. Eggman: You have to promise me not to tell anyone. I don't want my bad name tarnished.
 * Amy: Well, as long as it's for a good cause.
 * [A Robot takes Amy's hammer]
 * Dr. Eggman: Oh it is. Victory [softly] not unlike your hammer [harshly] is mine!
 * [Eggman drops Amy off his Eggmobile.]
 * Amy: Just like that I'm gonna tell everyone about your charity!

[Scene Change: Seaside Island, day]
 * [Sticks is walking across the jungle and finds Eggman]
 * Dr. Eggman: Sh... I'm picking up some bizarre alien vibrations.
 * Sticks: 7q vibrations?
 * Dr. Eggman: Huh? Oh, yes. Are those being watched?
 * Sticks: [Frustrated] I knew it! Don't worry, I'm ready.
 * [Sticks pulls a lever and a bamboo cage drops onto the ground.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Careful. They're picking up the frequency of your shoe squeaks. Better take them off.
 * [Sticks takes off her shoes and gives them to Eggman. ]
 * Dr. Eggman: OK. I'll stay here and keep an eye on things. You run and go warn the others.
 * Sticks: I laughed when I said my shoes were consipiring with aliens. [Angrily] Who's paranoid now?! [Whispering] Don't answer that.

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day]
 * Tails: [Softly] You'll be fine Tails. Just look cool and Eggman will slowly back off.
 * [Tails perches on a wooden wall but slips and falls over. A missile fires over his head. Tails stands back as Eggman arrives.]
 * Tails: Hah! You think standing in a cool pose is going to intimidate me? Say hello to a little device I call the MX-4180 Electroplasmatic Capsulator!
 * [Tails tries pulling the blanket off his invention, but struggles. He eventually pulls if off but exhausts himself, showing Eggman the invention.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Wolf-whistles] Wow. Fontaine IAM casings, hydroponic stabilizers. This is a thing of beauty. So what's this made me do anyway.
 * Tails: [Quickly] Oh it's just three structures the humidity molecules in the air to synthesize a hyper-magnetic force field.
 * Dr. Eggman: Whoa. Slow down, professor.
 * Tails: And here's the best part. It runs on brain power! All you have to do is put on this helmet and say something smart.
 * [Eggman puts on the helmet.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [To the machine] Complimenting someone will make them lower their guard.
 * [Eggman guesses correctly. The machine points the gun to Tails.]
 * Tails: It's that, wait, [To Eggman] what?
 * [The machine fires a laser, freezing Tails]
 * Dr. Eggman: Eggman three, losers zero.
 * Knuckles: Oh yeah! Well guess what. It's about to become Eggman three, losers one.
 * Dr. Eggman: Nice try, but we have an agreement, one at a time; And Tails is still the designated hero. Wait your turn, Knuckles.
 * [Knuckles and Eggman stare at each other. Knuckles cuts a furious look at Eggman. A bell sounds.]
 * Tails: Well. That's my shift.
 * [Tails puts a piece of paper into a booth. Knuckles does the same.]
 * Knuckles: All right. Time to do some clobbering!
 * Dr. Eggman: Just like that without a warm up? You want to pull a hammy or something?
 * Knuckles: Hmm... You're right. I probably should stretch before I pound your face into the dirt.
 * [Knuckles performs some stretching exercises]
 * Dr. Eggman: And don't forget Jumping Jacks.
 * [Knuckles does some Jumping jacks]
 * Dr. Eggman: And leg lifts.
 * [Knuckles lifts his legs up and down]
 * Dr. Eggman: Now sit-ups.
 * [Knuckles does sit-ups]
 * Dr. Eggman: Twirl like a ballerina.
 * [Knuckles spins on his leg]
 * Dr. Eggman: Now bend the sheet of metal into a giant paper airplane.
 * [Knuckles takes the sheet of metal and bends it to form an airplane.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Now dig a hole.
 * [Knuckles digs the ground, but stops as soon as he does so.]
 * Knuckles: All right. I'm warmed up. How do I get outta here?
 * Dr. Eggman: Just keep digging. You'll reach the other side eventually.
 * Knuckles: Well, you haven't steered me wrong yet. Oh man, when I get my hands on you.
 * Dr. Eggman: Eggman four, losers zero.

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * [Tails, Amy and Sticks share a grumpy look and cover their ears.]
 * Sonic: [Laughs] You guys got totally schooled. by Eggman! [Laughs louder] That's lame.
 * Amy: The guy's a lot trickier one on one.
 * Sticks: He's actually pretty smart. You forget sometimes that he's a doctor.
 * Tails: Hey, Knuckles' shift isn't over yet maybe he had better luck.
 * [Knuckles digs out of a burrow and appears]
 * Knuckles: I got you now Eggman! [Looks at Team Sonic] Huh? Oh hey guys!
 * [Sonic smiles, while Amy, Sticks and Tails groan and re-cover their ears.]
 * Sonic: Well, I guess that means it's all up to old Sonic. See you after my victory. [Runs off]
 * Knuckles: Hey you guys will never believe what I found in this hole.
 * Tails: Dirt?
 * Knuckles: Lucky guess.

[Scene Change: Badlands, day]
 * [Sonic is all alone patiently waiting for Eggman. He makes animal noises and hosts an imaginary tea party with some rocks to pass time.]
 * Sonic: [Cowboy voice] More tea, Mrs. Rock Bottom? [High voice] Don't mind if I do Mr. Boulder.
 * [The rest of Team Sonic arrive, frowning at Sonic.]
 * Amy: Ahem. Busy day?
 * Sonic: Huh? Oh. I said here my whole shift. Eggman never showed and you know why?
 * Knuckles: He wasn't invited to the tea party?
 * Sonic: No, cuz he's totally intimidated by me.
 * Sticks: Whatever. We're going to the beach. Since you're so perfect you stay on guard duty all day.
 * Sonic: That's a good idea. I could use a nap. [Closes his eyes and laughs.] See cuz I won't be fighting.
 * [The rest of Team Sonic groan and head off to the beach. Sonic sleeps on the sand. Eggman arrives. Sonic stirs, and gets up when he spots Eggman.]
 * Sonic: Eggman!
 * [Eggman presses a button that traps Sonic in a cage.]
 * Dr. Eggman: The area of a circle is pi times its radius squared.
 * [Eggman guesses correctly and the Capsulator freezes the cage. Sonic tries to break free to no avail.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Eggman five, losers zero; and this is especially delicious because da-da-da-dah! I did it by manipulating your clueless friends. [Dancing] Go Eggman, Go Eggman, Who's a villain, Who's a villain.
 * [The rest of Team Sonic return from the beach]
 * Amy: Well well well. Look, who got captured by Eggman.
 * Sonic: Guys, can we postpone the "I told you so"'s in general ridicule until after the rescue.
 * Tails: Oh fine. Once we save you, the ridicule will be more severe.
 * Sonic: Duly noted.
 * Amy: All right Eggman. You've had your fun. Now let him go!
 * Dr. Eggman: Hmm... Let me think. [Abruptly] No!
 * [Eggman returns to his Eggmobile. Amy, Knuckles, Tails and Sticks threaten to engage in combat]
 * Dr. Eggman: Nah-ah-ah-ah! Remember we have an ironclad agreement to fight only one on one.
 * Sticks: Me first! Gotta get home and map my burrow in tinfoil before the thought police show up.
 * [Orbot and Cubot return to commentary. A bell sounds.]
 * Orbot: And there's the bell.
 * [Sticks throws her boomerang and misses the Eggmobile...]
 * Dr. Eggman: Hah! you missed!
 * [...only to return and hit the Eggmobile from behind. Eggman grunts in anger.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Activate hammer!
 * [A hammer attached to a wheel is deployed. Sticks screams and runs away from it.]
 * Orbot: Eggman regains the upper hand by Robotizing Amy's hammer. That's heads up play by mustachioed marauder.
 * [Sticks runs to the side and lets the wheel continue rolling.]
 * Amy: Sticks. Let me take over your shift.
 * [Sticks tags to Amy. The hammer wheel brakes, and rolls towards Amy. With the camera playing in slow motion, Amy jumps over it, grabs the hammer on the way down and separating it from the wheel. She bashes the wheel with her hammer. The wheel flies towards Eggman, but he jumps out of the way in time.]
 * Orbot: Incredible escape. Surprisingly agile for a middle-aged scientist.
 * Cubot: You know you sometimes forget he's a doctor.
 * [Eggman slams the weapons machine down and unleashes the metal airplane. The plane drags Amy and traps her into a wall. Knuckles digs a tunnel and pops out where Amy is.]
 * Knuckles: Amy. Tag me in!
 * [Amy tags to Knuckles. He pulls the plane off the wall, freeing Amy, and throws it back towards Eggman.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [To the MX-4180 Electroplasmatic Capsulator] The length of the hypotenuse is equal to the square root of the sum of the lengths of the side squared.
 * [Eggman guesses correctly and a shield is formed, stopping the plane. Sticks tags herself in. She jumps up and takes Eggman's Helmet off. She tags to Tails and passes to him the Helmet.]
 * Sticks: Here you go.
 * Tails: I got a better idea.
 * [He flies over and tags to Knuckles, giving the helmet to him as well.]
 * Tails: Quick! Say the first thing that comes to mind!
 * Knuckles: I think Eggman's mustache is like spaghetti that grows out of his face.
 * [Knuckles answers correctly and the Capsulator unfreezes Sonic's cage.]
 * Sonic: Knuckles. Tag me!
 * [Knuckles tags to Sonic. Sonic breaks free of the cage, leaving Eggman surrounded and trapped by a pile of bamboo.]
 * Cubot: And down goes a wayboard loco!
 * Orbot: It's all over for the balls behemoth!
 * Dr. Eggman: One more word out of you two and I'm gonna take you apart and put you back together blindfolded.
 * Amy: Even when we could only battle Eggman one at a time we managed to work together as a team.
 * Sonic: That's true but in the end I'm the one that put Eggman in a cage.
 * [Moments later Sonic is seen trapped inside frozen Bamboo with Eggman. The rest of Team Sonic walk away.]
 * Sonic: Hey guys! You accidentally left me trapped in the force field with Eggman! Guys! Guys!
 * Dr. Eggman: Well we're here. Might as well make the best of it. [Singing] A thousand bottles of liquid nitrogen on the wall, a thousand bottles of liquid nitrogen!