Over the Hill Hero/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Over the Hill Hero".

[''The episode begins with its title shown on a hill. Someone gears up to sneeze, and then sneezes many times, causing the hill to explode. The camera zooms in on Hill Top Village, revealing the citizens of Mobius to be sneezing violently. One man is confused and scratches his head with his right hand. He then turns to face an elderly lady and a girl in a green bow and skirt. A sneeze bomb lands behind him and he, along with the elderly lady and the girl in the green bow and skirt, starts sneezing violently. The camera moves up to Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are riding miniature blimps, revealing them to be dropping sneeze bombs all over the village. They look down as their sneeze bombs hit Hill Top Village below.'']
 * Grounder: Huh, great! Nothing like a few sneeze bombs to clear out a village, eh, Scratch?

[''Scratch pulls out a hankerchief with his left hand and blows his beak into it. Grounder flinches as he does.'']
 * Scratch: Ah, much better!

[Grounder points his right index finger at Scratch.]
 * Grounder: Robotnik gave you sinuses? He didn't give me sinuses!
 * Scratch: I know! Sneeze bombs away!

[''Scratch pulls on his string with his right hand, dropping more Sneeze bombs onto Hill Top Village below. The camera zooms out, revealing Sonic and Tails to be watching from a distance. Tails points his left index finger at Hill Top Village.'']
 * Tails: Look, Sonic! There's a big black cloud over Hill Top Village!
 * Sonic: I see it, Tails! And where there's a black cloud, Robotnik's behind it! I feel the need, the need for speed!

[Sonic runs towards Hill Top Village.]
 * Tails: Hey, wait for me!

[''Tails flies after Sonic. Above Hill Top Village, Scratch points his left index finger down at Sonic.'']
 * Scratch: Look at them run, fear, panic, tread, terror! Bwahaha!
 * Grounder: Yeah-hah! Makes you proud to be a robot! Ha ha!
 * Scratch and Grounder: Oh!

[Grounder pushes Scratch's head down with his right hand and points his left drill at Sonic below.]
 * Grounder: Look, Sonic's coming!

[Scratch grabs his sneeze bombs below with both his hands and pulls out a single one with his right hand.]
 * Scratch: So what? This'll slow him down! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch drops the sneeze bomb. Sonic looks up and screeches to a halt when he sees it. He screams when it is about to hit him and jumps into the air as it hits the ground. The sneeze bomb bounces off the ground and lands in Sonic's arms. It then sprouts a face, gears up to sneeze, and sneezes.'']
 * Sonic: A sneeze bomb, just what I always wanted!

[The sneeze bomb sniffles.]
 * Captain Rescue: Never fear, Captain Rescue is here!

[''Sonic looks up at Captain Rescue, a raccoon, who from at the top of the hill above, looks muscular as the sun shines behind him. Captain Rescue then tumbles down the hill.'']
 * Captain Rescue: Whoa!

[''Captain Rescue screams as he hits the ground, and Sonic flinches. Stars spin around Captain Rescue's head, and now that Sonic is standing right next to him, he sees that Captain Rescue is overweight and his suit is tattered. As Tails flies behind Sonic, Captain Rescue stands up and presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger. The sneeze bomb catcher, which is shaped like a bell, emerges from it and traps Sonic underneath it.'']
 * Sonic: Hey, what are you trying to do?

[''The sneeze bomb catcher rings as Sonic gears up to sneeze. Tails runs away as the ringing gets more high pitched and Sonic is about to sneeze. Sonic sneezes, launching the sneeze bomb catcher in the air, knocking Captain Rescue over, and creating a cloud of dust. When the dust clears, a hole is revealed. Sonic sneezes three more times while inside the hole. Both Tails and Captain Rescue look inside the hole as Sonic sneezes again.'']
 * Tails: I'll help you, Sonic!

[''Tails reaches into the hole with both his hands and pulls Sonic out. As Sonic sneezes again, Captain Rescue plugs his ears with both his index fingers.'']
 * Captain Rescue: I guess my sneeze bomb catcher went a little off course!

[Sonic sneezes again.]
 * Sonic: A little off course?! Are you a...

[Sonic sneezes again.]
 * Sonic: ...schmo or what?
 * Captain Rescue: Schmo? Me? Of course not! I'm a hero!

[The sun shines behind Captain Rescue as he points his right index finger at himself.]
 * Captain Rescue: I am Captain Rescue, the golden boy of gadgets, the vanquisher of villainy, friend of the friendless, and hope of the hopeless!

[''Sonic taps Captain Rescue's right foot with his left index finger twice. He then points the same finger up, and Captain Rescue looks up.'']
 * Sonic: Hey, look!

[''Scratch and Grounder's miniature blimps are right above Sonic and Captain Rescue. Scratch and Grounder both laugh evilly as they drop more sneeze bombs.'']
 * Captain Rescue: Oh!

[''Sonic jumps out of the hole and grabs Captain Rescue's right arm with both his hands. He runs away with Captain Rescue in tow, just in time as the sneeze bombs land on the ground below and explode. Captain Rescue screams as he is dragged along the ground.'']
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[''One of the sneeze bombs hits Captain Rescue on the head, knocking him unconcious. Sonic runs up to him'']
 * Sonic: I gotta let the air out of some robot brats!

[''Sonic jumps on Captain Rescue's stomach. Captain Rescue grunts as Sonic bounces off his stomach and into the air. While airborne, Sonic grabs a sneeze bomb in each hand and lands atop Scratch and Grounder's miniature blimps. He shakes the pepper out of them, causing the blimps to sprout faces and gear up to sneeze. Sonic then jumps off the blimps as they sneeze, causing themselves to fly back into each other and explode. Scratch and Grounder fall to the ground below.'']
 * Grounder: Whoa-oa-oa-oa-oa!
 * Scratch: Whoa-ho-ho-ho-ho! Whoa!

[''Scratch and Grounder's pieces fly into the air. Sonic floats down on a pink umbrella he is holding in his left hand. When he lands, he tosses the umbrella aside, and Tails shakes his right hand with his right hand.'']
 * Tails: Way to go, Sonic!
 * Sonic: Am I one hot hedgehog or what?

[Captain Rescue grabs Sonic's right hand with his right hand and shakes it.]
 * Captain Rescue: Nice work, Sonic! Reminds me of great superhero stuff that I used to do! Look!

[''Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his left index finger. A beam zaps from it, creating a yellow burst. When it clears, YOUR PUBLIC LIBRARY PRESENTS: appears in yellow letters. In a flashback scene, a cat can be seen in a tree that has caught fire.'']
 * Captain Rescue: All over Mobius, I had people saying,

[''The cat shudders in the tree, until Captain Rescue, who in the flashback looks much more handsome and muscular grabs it with his right hand. It meows as he carries it away. In another flashback, bullets fire from inside the bank, and four bulldog bandits run out, one of them holding a gun in his right hand, and the other three carrying bags of money. Captain Rescue is standing right in front of them, and they screech to a halt as he looks over them. He then runs counter-clockwise around them and ties them up in a rope. The citizens of Mobius cheer and wave their arms in the air as Captain Rescue pulls on the rope with his right hand, which somehow turns the bulldog bandits into giant sausages. In another flashback, a volcano erupts, and as the citizens of Mobius run away from the lava, screaming, Captain Rescue flies up to the volcano.'']
 * Captain Rescue: "Who was that masked raccoon?"

[''Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger, and a claw emerges from it, which scoops the volcano up. The flashback ends.'']
 * Captain Rescue: I saw you on Mobius TV, Sonic, and I figured you needed my help!

[Captain Rescue puts his right hand on Sonic's back, but Sonic pushes it away with his right hand.]
 * Sonic: Thanks, but no thanks, old timer!

[Sonic then puts his right hand on Tails' back and points his left index finger at him.]
 * Sonic: Tails here is my main man.
 * Captain Rescue: "Old-timer"? "Old-timer"?! Why, I was saving Mobius from bad guys when you were still a hedgehoglet!

[''Captain Rescue walks away angrily. Sonic and Tails turn to face each other.'']
 * Tails: I think you hurt his feelings, Sonic!
 * Sonic: Well, guys like him ought to know when to quit! Robotnik would eat him for lunch!

[The screen transitions to a close-up of Robotnik's teeth as he chomps.]
 * Dr. Robotnik: Failed again, did you?

[''Robotnik points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder, both of whom are battered and bruised. They are covered in bandages, and Scratch has his right arm in a sling.'']
 * Scratch: Why, no, your supreme awfulness! In fact, we succeeded wonderfully!
 * Grounder: In a kind of negative way.

[Scratch looks down angrily at Grounder and is about to punch him with his left fist, but Robotnik causes them to fall over.]
 * Robotnik: Silence!

[Robotnik walks up to a machine, part of which is covered by a tarp.]
 * Robotnik: You dumb-bots wouldn't know success if it bit you on the bumper! While I, the baron of badness, the knight of nastiosity, am on the brink of my greatest success!

[Scratch and Grounder walk up to the machine as Robotnik removes the tarp with his left hand, revealing the Egg-O-Matic force field, an egg-shaped force field, underneath it.]
 * Robotnik: My Egg-o-Matic force field! Nothing can penetrate it!

[''Robotnik pounds his right fist on the force field. He then pulls out a laser with his right hand.'']
 * Robotnik: No force on Mobius can damage it!

[Scratch and Grounder flinch as Robotnik zaps the force field with his laser.]
 * Grounder: What's it for?

[Robotnik pulls out a remote control with his left hand.]
 * Robotnik: Observe!

[Robotnik presses the button on the remote with his left thumb, and the camera moves up to a view of a satellite orbiting the planet Mobius.]
 * Robotnik: The force field demands incredible power! I need the solar satellite orbiting Mobius to provide it, and Hill Top Village gives me best access to the satellite!

[''As Mobius orbits to show Hill Top Village, the camera zooms in on it. the satellite zaps it with a beam of yellow light. The camera zooms out on Mobius as the yellow light shines all over it.'']
 * Robotnik: As the force field expands, I can spread my control over every corner of Mobius!
 * Scratch: And what happens to the hedgehog?

[The beam of light sprouts a right hand, which grabs Sonic and tosses him aside.]
 * Robotnik: I'll drive him off the planet!

[''Mobius turns to reveal Robotnik's head on the other side. Robotnik laughs evilly. Three birds then fly over Hill Top Village. Inside, Sonic and Tails walk across the road.'']
 * Tails: How do you know Robotnik's robo-goons are gonna attack again, Sonic?
 * Sonic: Robotnik believes any bad worth doin' is worth doin' twice!

[''Sonic and Tails stop. The latter stares in shock as the former points his right index finger ahead.'']
 * Sonic: And here they come now!

[A trio of robot soldiers holding guns in their right arms march into Hill Top Village, until Sonic, who is disguised as a general, holds up his left hand like a stop sign.]
 * Sonic: Ten-hut! I order you to halt!

[''The robot soldiers put down their guns. Scratch then pushes one of the robot soldiers' legs with both his hands and pokes his head through them.'']
 * Scratch: Hold on! Who do you think you are?

[Scratch points his right index finger at Sonic, who holds up his left index finger.]
 * Sonic: I'm General Disorder, head of the military intelligence! I have order to lead this platoon in an attack on the rear of Hill Top Village! As per special orders 301, Dash 3, Section 4, Paragraph 27, Revised April 1st, via Secret Provision 38, Section 14, Subsection 14,

[''As Sonic continues, Scratch and Grounder look at each other in confusion. Scratch then shrugs his shoulders'']
 * Sonic: Here to for known as Marching Orders number 845, Dash 6, Section 8, Subsection 15, Paragraph 14!

[Scratch screams as he jumps into Grounder's arms.]
 * Sonic: Got it?!

[Scratch holds his right hand up to his head, and Grounder holds his right drill up to his head.]
 * Scratch: Right, General Disorder!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Sonic: That's "General Disorder, Sir" to you! Now, out of my way!

[''Sonic pushes Scratch aside with his left hand, and Grounder aside with his right as he marches past them. He walks up to the Robot Soldiers.'']
 * Sonic: Forward, march!

[''Sonic marches, and the Robot Soldiers follow behind him. They reach a cliff.'']
 * Scratch: Whoa! He's leading them right to the cliff!
 * Grounder: Huh! That's military intelligence for you!

[''At the edge of the cliff, Sonic marches in place, and the Robot Soldiers march off the cliff. They fall and hit the ground with a crash. Sonic holds his left hand up to his head.'']
 * Sonic: Squat, fall out!
 * Captain Rescue: Halt, villains!

[Scratch and Grounder look up as Captain Rescue lands near them.]
 * Scratch: Hey, you're the overweight raccoon that helped us out last time!
 * Captain Rescue: I am Captain Rescue, the golden boy of gadgets!
 * Grounder: The golden boy of gadgets, eh? Then you're gonna love my gadgets!

[''Grounder turns his left drill into a gun. Captain Rescue presses a button on his utility belt with his right hand and a shield with a planet with CR in blue letters on it emerges from it. Grounder fires many bullets at the shield, but they all bounce off it. Captain Rescue then presses a button on his utility belt with his right index finger, and the utility belt fires many daggers. They land clockwise around Scratch and Grounder.'']
 * Scratch and Grounder: Hey!

[''Grounder then turns his left drill into a buzzsaw, which he uses to slice through the daggers. He then rolls up to Captain Rescue and swipes his buzzsaw at him. Captain Rescue then dodges the buzzsaw and presses buttons on his utility belt with both his index fingers. A pair of jumper cables emerges from them and they latch onto Grounder's left wrist. The jumper cables electrocute Grounder.'']
 * Grounder: Whoa!
 * Scratch: Enough dueling gadgets!

[Scratch grabs Captain Rescue's cape with his right hand and pulls Captain Rescue away.]
 * Captain Rescue: Hey, put me down!

[Scratch shapes Captain Rescue into a ball.]
 * Scratch: Sure thing! Down to the bottom of the cliff! Bwahaha!

[''Scratch kicks Captain Rescue with his right foot. Captain Rescue falls off the cliff.'']
 * Captain Rescue: Whoa-oa-oa-oa!

[Sonic is revealed to be pulling himself back in a slingshot made from a cactus.]
 * Sonic: That raccoon's gettin' to be a real pain the spine!

[The slingshot launches Sonic, who grabs Captain Rescue's cape with both his hands.]
 * Sonic: Gotcha!

[The slingshot launches Sonic and Captain Rescue back.]
 * Scratch: I got him!
 * Grounder: I got him!
 * Scratch: They're mine!
 * Grounder: Not fair! They're mine! They're mine!
 * Scratch: They're mine!

[Sonic and Captain Rescue fly into Scratch and Grounder, launching them in the air, and when they land, they turn into bowling pins.]
 * Grounder: Whoa!
 * Scratch: Ow-how-how!

[''Scratch and Grounder spin and fall over. Robotnik then lifts up the screen with both his hands.'']
 * Robotnik: If I can't make my force field big enough to contain Mobius, then with that Raccoon's help, I'll make it just the right size to trap Sonic permanently!
 * Sonic: You're makin' my work go really slow!
 * Captain Rescue: I just wanted to help!

[Sonic points his right index finger at Captain Rescue.]
 * Sonic: Yeah? With help like yours, we don't need badniks!

[''Sonic crosses his arms angrily as Captain Rescue walks away sadly. The screen transitions to the next scene, where Captain Rescue is sitting sadly atop a boulder as the camera zooms in on him As the boulder rumbles, Captain Rescue looks below, to see Robotnik pushing it from underneath. The camera moves down to Robotnik.'']
 * Robotnik: Are you Captain Rescue?
 * Captain Rescue: You know me?

[Robotnik climbs out of the hole below, grabs the boulder with both his hands, and sets it down over the hole.]
 * Robotnik: Know you? You were my favorite superhero when I was a lad! I still have my Captain Rescue action figure!
 * Captain Rescue: Well, that was a long time ago. I'm just an over the hill superhero now. At least, so says a certain hedgehog!

[Robotnik pops up behind Captain Rescue.]
 * Robotnik: You mean Sonic? Oh, don't listen to him! He's always hedgehogging all the glory!
 * Captain Rescue: He is?

[Robotnik is now upside down as he faces Captain Rescue.]
 * Robotnik: Sure! I have some great evil fighting gadgets, but he won't let me try em'!

[Robotnik is revealed to be standing on his right foot.]
 * Robotnik: I think we can fight rottenness just as good as that hedgehog, don't you?

[Robotnik falls over.]
 * Captain Rescue: Well, uh, I don't know!

[A question mark appears above Captain Rescue's head.]
 * Robotnik: Sure we can!

[Robotnik snatches the question mark with his left hand and tears it to pieces with both his hands.]
 * Robotnik: With your gadgets and my genius, we'll team up to grab some bad guys!

[An exclamation point appears above Captain Rescue's head.]
 * Robotnik: Now, let's show that hedgehog!

[A light shines over the exclamation point as Captain Rescue stands up triumphantly.]
 * Captain Rescue: Yeah, let's show that hedgehog!

[As the camera zooms out on Captain Rescue, Robotnik chuckles evilly.]