Birth of a Salesman/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog episode, "Birth of a Salesman". [The episode begins with a view outside Dr. Robotnilk's fortress, where inside, Robotnik can be heard insulting Scratch and Grounder after their latest attempt to capture Sonic.]
 * Dr. Robotnik [heard offscreen]: Nincombots! Metal morons! Idiots!

[Inside Robotnik's fortress, Robotnik is pacing back and forth as he insults Scratch and Grounder.]
 * Robotnik: Robotic rejects! Sadicious slabs of uncelubrius circuitry! You... you... you nincombots!

[Scratch points to Robotnik with his right index finger.]
 * Scratch: Excuse me, your viciousness, you already said that.

[Robotnik presses his head against Scratch's.]
 * Robotnik: Then allow me to repeat myself yet again; you are nincombots!

[''The force of Robotnik's scream turns Grounder's head backwards. Robotnik walks away, then Grounder turns both his drills into hands. His left grabs his nose, and his right grabs the back of his head, and he uses both to turn his head back clockwise. Robotnik backs up and sits down in a chair.'']
 * Robotnik: How am I ever going to get rid of Sonic with such unreliable help?

[Just then, the doorbell rings at Robotnik's front door.]
 * Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: Hello, uh, you in there?

[Wes Weasely knocks at the door.]
 * Wes Weasely [heard offscreen]: Hello? Hello?

[''Wes Weasely rings the doorbell again. Grounder, who has turned his left hand back into a drill, rolls up to the door, and attempts to open it with his right hand, but Wes Weasely opens it with his right hand, and Grounder gets pushed by the door and crushed in between it and the wall.'']
 * Wes Weasely: How are you, how are you, how are you?

[''Wes Weasely is revealed to be carrying a suitcase in his left hand. He runs in, and shakes Scratch's right hand with his right hand.'']
 * Wes Weasely: Ha ha! Wes Weasley's the name! Selling's the game! Ha ha!

[''Wes Weasely runs away, and Scratch's right hand is now sore. Wes Weasely runs up to Robotnik and shakes his right hand with his right hand.'']
 * Wes Weasely: You need it, I got it! Don't got it, i'll get it! Ha ha!

[''Wes Weasely runs away. He then runs towards the wall Grounder is stuck to, as the door moves back. He then shakes Grounder's right drill with his right hand, but Grounder's right arm breaks off. Grounder then jumps off the wall and stares in shock.'']
 * Grounder: Aaaah!
 * Wes Weasely: Oop, sorry about that, palsie. Heh. Better have that looked at.

[''Wes Weasely puts his left hand on Grounder's left shoulder, and puts Grounder's right arm back on his right shoulder by its drill. Grounder stares in shock at it.'']
 * Grounder: Huh?

[Wes Weasely is now standing near Robotnik and Scratch as Grounder rolls up to them.]
 * Wes Weasely: You say you need reliable help? Well, say no more, friend! Look no further! Go no farther!

[''Wes Weasely's suitcase now grows a set of table legs as he sets it down. He then pulls out a STOP sign, which he is holding in his right hand, which he tosses aside.'']
 * Wes Weasely: Because I represent the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Company! That's right!

[Wes Weasely forms the shapes of the letters he spells out with his body.]
 * Wes Weasely: H, D, S, V, A, D, L!

[Wes Weasely then presses his body against Robotnik's.]
 * Wes Weasely: And that stands for, "Handy Dandy Super Villain Appliance Distributors Limited"! Heh!

[''Wes Weasely runs away, and Robotnik growls. Wes Weasley then opens his suitcase and steps back, as an entire sales floor emerges from the suitcase, complete with a banner that has the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. company's logo on it.'']
 * Wes Weasely: With my gadgets, your problem is solved!

[''Wes Weasely runs up to Scratch and Grounder. He puts his left arm around Scratch's shoulders, and his right arm around Grounder's shoulders.'']
 * Wes Weasely: Even with stupeniks!

[Wes Weasely runs away.]
 * Scratch: I don't like this guy!
 * Grounder: Me neither!

[Robotnik walks angrily up to Wes Weasely, pointing to the palm of his right hand with his left index finger.]
 * Robotnik: Listen, Weasely, you are brash, arrogant, obnoxious, pushy, rude, and you dress funny!

[Robotnik leans up to Wes Weasely and puts his left hand on his left shoulder.]
 * Robotnik: You're my kind of guy!

[Scratch and Grounder look at each other.]
 * Scratch and Grounder: We love him!
 * Robotnik: What have you got?
 * Wes Weasely: To catch a pesky groundhog?

[Wes Weasely walks away as Robotnik stomps his feet furiously.]
 * Robotnik: Hedgehog! Hedgehog! Sonic the Hedgehog!

[''Robotnik pulls out a picture of Sonic that has Sonic's autograph on it with his right hand, and points to it with his left index finger. The autograph says, TO ROBOTNIK LOVE SONIC. Wes Weasely is now standing near his sales floor and opens a drawer with his right hand.'']
 * Wes Weasely: I'm way ahead of you, friend.

[Wes Weasely rummages through the drawer and pulls out the Darkenator, which he is holding in both his hands.]
 * Wes Weasely: Presenting the H.D.S.V.A.D.L. Darkenator! Heh!

[Wes Weasely sets the Darkenator down.]
 * Wes Weasely: Where there's light, there won't be for long, with the Darkenator! Heh. Let me show you how it works.

[''Wes Weasley hits one of the switches on the Darkenator with his right foot. A dark cloud forms over Robotnik's fortress, and Scratch trembles in fear.'']
 * Grounder [heard offscreen]: Hey! Who turned out the lights?
 * Scratch: I'm scared of the dark! Hold me!

[Scratch jumps into Robotnik's arms, and then Grounder does the same.]
 * Grounder: Hold me!
 * Robotnik: Get off of me, you chicken-hearted robo-clown!

[Robotnik tosses Scratch and Grounder aside, and they land with a crash.]
 * Grounder: Oh!
 * Wes Weasely: Okay, enough free demonstration.

[''Wes Weasely hits a switch on the Darkenator with his right foot, turning the Darkenator off. The dark cloud floats away.'']
 * Wes Weasely: What do you think?
 * Robotnik: I love it! Even Sonic has to slow down in the dark! How much?
 * Wes Weasely: For you, Doc, it's the one-time special half price!

[Wes Weasely pulls out a sign that says, 1/2 OFF in red letters, which he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Wes Weasely: One hundred thousand Mobiums!
 * Dr. Robotnik: What?!
 * Wes Weasely: It's the smart choice, palley. I'll even throw in two pairs of these nifty infra-red goggles!

[Wes Weasely pulls out a pair of infra-red goggles, which he is holding in his right hand.]
 * Scratch: What for?

[Wes Weasely runs up to Scratch and touches his body with his left index finger.]
 * Wes Weasely: If you can see in the dark, and Sonic can't, even you can catch him!

[''Wes Weasely runs away. Robotnik then walks up to him and shakes his right hand with both his hands.'']
 * Robotnik: I'll take it!

[''The screen then transitions to a view of a hill as Sonic runs down the path. Scratch and Grounder, who are hiding behind a tree, peer out from behind it. Scratch points towards Sonic with his right thumb.'']
 * Scratch: Here comes the hedgehog! Bwhaha!

[Scratch walks out from behind the tree, holding the Darkenator's nozzle in his left hand.]
 * Scratch: Activate the Darkenator!

[''Grounder rolls up to the Darkenator and turns the switch to the ON position with his right drill. A dark cloud forms over Sonic, who looks up.'']
 * Sonic: Whoa!

[Sonic screeches to a halt.]
 * Sonic: I've heard of darkness creeping in, but this is ridiculous!
 * Grounder: I think the Darkenator sprung a leak!
 * Scratch: Quick! Put on the see-in-the-dark glasses!
 * Grounder: Too late! I can't see where they are!

[''Grounder looks around for the infra-red goggles. Meanwhile, Sonic crawls below the dust cloud, towards Scratch and Grounder.'']
 * Sonic: Ha ha! Good thing those dumbots are too stupid to stoop!

[Sonic reaches behind his back with his left hand and pulls out a rope, which he ties one end of around Scratch's legs with both his hands.]
 * Scratch: Grounder, are you there?
 * Grounder: I don't know, I can't see where there is!

[''As Grounder talks, Sonic ties the other end of the rope to the nail holding up Grounder's X-14 license plate with both his hands. Sonic then steps back and cups his right hand to his mouth.'']
 * Sonic: Excuse me, fellas, I'm your local meter maid. I'm afraid you've both parked in a red zone!

[As Scratch talks, he cups his right hand over his eyes and looks around.]
 * Scratch: It's not our fault, we can't see it!
 * Sonic: If you don't move immediately, it's a fifty Mobiums fine!

[Grounder rolls in place really fast in fear.]
 * Grounder: Whoa!

[Grounder rolls away, and since he is tied to the rope, the rope pulls Scratch down.]
 * Scratch: Yeow-how-how-hoo-hoo!

[''The rope pulls Grounder back. He bumps into Scratch, launching the Darkenator into the air. The Darkenator then falls down, lands on them, and explodes, creating a huge dust cloud, complete with the word, KABOOM!. When the dust clears, Scratch and Grounder are now in pieces. Sonic runs up to them.'']
 * Sonic: What a couple of dumbots!

[Sonic runs away, creating a cloud of dust.]