Robot Employees/Transcript

This is the transcript from the Sonic Boom episode, "Robot Employees".

[Scene: Meh Burger, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: One Chili Dog. I eat Chili Dogs now. Seems cool and edgy. I'm thinking of making it my thing.
 * [Dave the Intern returns with a Meh Burger on a tray.]
 * Dave: Here. This is probably close to what you ordered.
 * Dr. Eggman: You know what? I don't want a chili dog anymore. No, I just want to burn this place to the ground! Robots, Attack...
 * Sonic: [Interrupting] Not so fast, Egghead. [Eggman drops his arms in misery] We're not gonna let you destroy Meh Burger!
 * Dr. Eggman: Fine. I've got an even better plan to get decent service.

[Scene Change: Mayor's Mansion, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: First, I'd like to say it's an honor to meet the man who owns Meh Burger. Your institution is responsible for more evil than I could ever dream of.
 * Mr. Slate: Uh... Thank you.
 * Dr. Eggman: But there's still room for improvement. Orbot, slideshow!
 * [Orbot opens up a slideshow.]
 * Dr. Eggman: This is an artist's rendering of the current inefficient Meh Burger. [The Slideshow moves to the next scene.] Now, here's my proposal: [The Slideshow shows pictures of robot employees.] A team of efficient robot employees, A shiny new Meh Burger, and a place where you get what you actually ordered!
 * Mr. Slate: I love it! I'm very suggestible.

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * [Dave and Mr. Slate stand next to each other as a group of Robot Employees take over Meh Burger's service. One robot delivers a tray to Reindeer Girl; Another one makes a drink. Another robot places takeaway bags on the counter to three more customers. A robot serves Fennec Male, Rabbit Girl and Beth the Shrew, and hands a drink over to Reindeer Girl.]
 * Dave: These machines will never be able to replicate the customer service experience that only comes from a real life employee.
 * Amy: Can I get some ketchup?
 * Dave: Get it yourself. I'm on my break.
 * Robot: [Hands a ketchup sachet to Amy] Your business is very valuable to us, pink customer.
 * Dave: Come on! At least give me a chance to show you that I'm better than a bunch of robots! We could have a contest.
 * Mr. Slate: OK, but if you lose, you're fired!

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * Soar: This is Soar the Eagle broadcasting live from Village Center, where local flunky Dave the Intern is about to challenge a series of robots in a fast-food throwdown. Clearly, it's a slow news day. The first event: Burger flipping!
 * [Dave flips each burger one by one with his spatula. The Robot Employee grows several arms of spatulas behind his back and shuffles the burgers with them. With the burgers up in the air, he withdraws the spatulas and catches a tray full of burgers.]
 * Soar: Ouch! I mean, round one goes to the machines, with a final tally of Dave 17, Machine 135. Next up, the stuffing mop.
 * [Dave and Machine are on a bowling alley each with mess down the alleyway. Dave has a mop and starts sweeping down the alleyway.]
 * Dave: Mysterious orange clunky food, piece of cake... piece of cake, a little toffee...
 * [Dave finishes sweeping and flicks the mop, covering himself with mess. The machine comes next. It stretches is head down to the alleyway, equips its vacuum cleaner and starts sucking the mess]
 * Dave: Well, you're in bed, Mom.
 * Soar: And now, for the final event: The drive-through speaker translation! This one's worth more points than all the other events combined. That's to create false dramatic tension, otherwise this competition would be over already.
 * [The speaker says an inaudible order. The machine listens to it]
 * Robot: Two double Meh Burgers, and an order of humdrum rings.
 * [Robot moves out of the way. Dave come in and listens to the speaker.]
 * Dave: Uhh... Why?
 * [The buzzer sounds. Dave shuts his eyes.]
 * Soar: And Dave goes down! A devastating blow to humanity, but at least they'll finally get my order right at Meh Burger.
 * Mr. Slate: Neither. It's difficult for me to say this, but [Slowly] you're fired! [Dave winces] Actually, that wasn't so hard at all. In fact I've kind of liked it. In celebration of my new good mood, I hereby announce a party tomorrow.

[Scene Change: Village Center, day]
 * [Team Sonic and the villagers celebrate as Mr. Slate sends his announcement to them. Dave grumpily walks behind him.]
 * Sticks: Enjoy those tin dead chefs. I'm off to the woods with something safe to eat, like unidentified plants, berries and mushrooms!

[Scene Change: Lightning Bolt Society's house, night]
 * Dave: Gentlemen, today I was fired from my part-time bit-of-a-wage job.
 * Willy Walrus: This is an outrage! Your boss shouldn't judge you based simply on how ineffective you are at work!
 * Dave: [Holding a plan] Tomorrow Meh Burger is going to have a big party, and Lightning Bolts are going to crash in. You know who's going to fall down. [Lays the plan down on the table.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * Mr. Slate: Thank you all for coming to the grand reopening of Meh Burger. In celebration, all cheeseburgers today all free!
 * [He pulls off the blanket, revealing several cheeseburgers stacked like a pyramid. Everyone cheers and runs to take one.]
 * Old Monkey: Oh geez. But I'm lactose intolerant! I also hate Gogobas.
 * [Dave, hiding behind a rock, observes what's going on and tells the rest of the Lightning Bolt Society.]
 * Dave: Once the grown-up gives his thumbs up we move in.
 * Weasel Bandit: Low in hell. Free cheeseburgers!
 * Willy Walrus: Abort mission! Abort mission!
 * [Willy Walrus, Chameleon and Weasel Bandit run over to pick up a cheeseburger. Dave miserably shakes his head and walks off.]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Raising a glass] To the new Meh Burger, where you get what you actually ordered!

[Everyone cheers] Not something completely wrong, served by a lackadaisical staff of slugs who don't give a rat's patootie. In fact, odds are they serve to some rat's patootie!
 * Mr. Slate: Although years have assured me the percentage of rat's patootie in these burgers is well within the legal limit.
 * Dr. Eggman: But we can forget those dark old days. Well, you can. Not me. [Slowly] Eggman never forgets. [Normally] So I'm going to exact my revenge on this so-called restaurant and all of its customers!
 * [Eggman presses a button on his wrist controller, triggering a giant dome that encapsulates Meh Burger. Everyone inside screams as they realize they are now trapped.]
 * Sonic: I'll break us out.
 * [Sonic spin attacks the dome but fails to break it, hurting himself. Knuckles tries digging underneath it, but he hurts himself in the process to, failing to break the dome.]
 * Knuckles: [Hurt] Forcefield goes underneath too.
 * [The robots' eyes glow red and prepare to attack. Knuckles throws a Meh Burger onto a robot's body. The robot malfunctions and breaks itself. The other three robots discovers the robot's debris. Tails throws sauce sachets on the table ready for Amy to Hammer down. The sachets squirt into the three robots' eyes, struggling to control themselves. Sonic Homing attacks the three robots, destroying them.]
 * Mr. Slate: We're doomed!
 * Tails: Not necessarily. There's still somebody outside the force field we can call for help! [He presses a button on his Communicator and contacts Sticks.]
 * Sticks: [On Communicator] Hi. This is Sticks. I'm in the woods right now. If this is a blurted conspiracy, press 1.
 * Tails: [Frustrated] Sticks, you don't have an answering machine.
 * Sticks: Cuz I hate machines!
 * Tails: [On communicator] You are right about the rumor. We're all trapped in Meh Burger!
 * [Sticks ignores the message and dances to some music.]
 * Tails: You're doing an "I-told-you-so" dance aren't you?
 * Sticks: [Slowly] Maybe...
 * Tails: [On communicator] I need you to get over to my workshop right away!

[Scene Change: Tails' Workshop, day]
 * [Sticks runs into Tails' Workshop]
 * Tails: [On communicator] Sticks. Listen carefully. I need you to bring me some stuff. A Transducer and a Beam concentration nozzle, the big one, not the colored one.
 * Sticks: Yeah, I got it.
 * Tails: [On communicator] A Voltage Bridge, a welding laser,
 * [Sticks picks up all the necessary items on her wheelbarrow and runs back.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * Sonic: You can't keep us in here forever, egghead.
 * Dr. Eggman: I know. That's why I'm launching you into outer space. [He presses his wrist controller.]
 * Sonic: What?!
 * [The dome launches up in the air. Eggman waves.]
 * Dr. Eggman: Ta-ra! Hahahahahahaha!
 * [Sticks returns with her wheelbarrow but notices a giant hole.]
 * Sticks: Sticks here. Quick question. Where's Meh Burger?
 * Tails: [On communicator] Right above you!
 * [Sticks looks up and sees the rest on Team Sonic staring down at her. Sonic knocks on the dome in desperation.]
 * Sticks: This is no good. The key to a successful restaurant is location, location, location!
 * Tails: Looks like you have to take out the force field from mid-air. You can borrow my plane but you'll need a co-pilot. Is there anyone else in town who can fly it?
 * [Sticks goes to Dave's door.]
 * Dave: Why should I help safe Meh Burger?
 * Sticks: You and I have one thing in common. Unless you also believe the government randomly changes his spelling awards and then replaces all of our dictionaries while we sleep! [Dave looks blankly at Sticks] We don't need robots, right?
 * Dave: Of course I do, they took my job!
 * [Sticks and Dave, equipped with spacesuits, set off on Tails' Plane to the airborne Meh Burger. Sticks puts her helmet on. Dave tries putting his helmet on but the plane loses control.]
 * Sticks: Keep your mitts on the wheel!
 * Dave: I'm coming once we doom about my mom's boyfriend.
 * [Quickly, Daves puts the helmet on and steers the plane, preventing it from reaching the sea.]

[Scene Change: Hedgehog Village, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: [Holding a pair of jeans] Feels pretty sweet defeating Dave the Intern, Meh Burger and Sonic in one fell swoop, and it's an extra bonus, I don't have to wait in lines anymore. [Stretches the jeans] What are these come in husky? [He looks around] Why is there never anyone to help when you need it? Hello!

[Scene Change: Sky, day]
 * [Villagers scream and panic as they remain trapped. Tails' Plane arrives outside the dome.]
 * Tails: [Clearly] First thing you need to do, is slow our ascent before we get to the vacuum of space. You'll have to disarm a couple of the thrusters.
 * Sticks: Dave! We need to get closer!
 * Dave: Oh, that's really very nice of you but I'm kind of a longer. [Pauses and realizes something] Oh you mean the plane! Right!
 * [Dave directs the plane closer to the dome. Sticks throws her boomerang that blows out a thruster, returning back to her. She then blows out two more thrusters. The dome slows down and Sonic and Amy smile as they feel the difference.]
 * Sonic: Hey, it's working!
 * [The villagers cheer, and Team Sonic look at them. Suddenly, an explosion is heard as the dome falls down.]
 * Tails: We have the thrusters gone. The rest are stuggling against the weight. They're going to sea! You gotta disable the force field, and fast!

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * Dr. Eggman: Time to even out my time, without fear of scrutiny.
 * [Eggman sits down inside the crater and reads a cardboard.]

[Scene Change: Sky, day]
 * [Sonic grabs a tablecloth and runs to the rest of the group.]
 * Sonic: Everybody grab a tablecloth! You can use them as parachutes!
 * [Everyone runs and grabs a tablecloth.]
 * Lady Walrus: Can I get another one? This one's got a mustard stain.
 * Lady Goat: Mine has a hole in it.
 * [Sonic groans and does a facepalm]
 * Tails: I'm gonna need you to make an electromagnetic pulse to jam the force field's current!
 * Sticks: I don't know what any of that means!
 * Dave: You can do it, Sticks. You'll need a power supply. I don't think that looks like a big battery with three squiggly wires coming out of it.
 * [Sticks crawls over to the side of Tails' Plane and rummages through her wheelbarrow and finds the battery.]
 * Sticks: OK. Got the battery!
 * Tails: [On communicator] Now. Find the Beam concentration nozzle. It's like a fall on a traffic car with a clip on the end. You're gonna attach that to the loose wire and press the big, red button!
 * [Sticks fires the laser at the dome. The Force field dissipates and vanishes.]
 * Sonic: Nice going, Sticks!
 * [With the force field gone, all the villagers escape using their tablecloths as parachutes. Just as Team Sonic are about to escape, a rumble is heard as the remaining thrusters run out of fuel, forcing the dome to fall down quickly.]
 * Sticks: Dive, dave! Dive, dive, dive!
 * [Dave redirects the plane next to Team Sonic.]
 * Dave: We're starting to get a little close to the ground here!
 * [The rest of Team Sonic jump and hold on to Tails' Plane. Dave swoops the plane upwards to prevent a crash landing.]

[Scene Change: Meh Burger, day]
 * [While Eggman is reading the cardboard, a shadow is seen and a blowing noise is heard.]
 * Dr. Eggman: That doesn't sound good.
 * [He looks up at the shadow and notices the dome coming down towards him. He screams and runs away as the dome crash lands. All the villagers land safely, while the plane also crash lands, emitting smoke. Sonic helps Knuckles get up.]
 * Dave: A perfect 1.1 landing.
 * [The camera shows Eggman continuing to run but Mr. Slate collides with him.]
 * [Meanwhile, Dave is back to work flipping burgers.]
 * Sticks: Pretty nice for Mr. Slate to promote Dave the Intern to save the manager.
 * Amy: Well he deserved it for helping to save the whole town. Kind of a meaningless title though. He doesn't have any employees to manage.
 * Tails: Actually I took care of that. I salvaged one of the robots and reprogrammed it.
 * [The robot delivers a tray of salad and juice to Eggman.]
 * Dr. Eggman: This is a salad! I ordered a chili dog!
 * Robot: I'm on my break.