User blog:Bullet Francisco/A Message to SNN

Sonic News Network. A place where I met so many fascinating people, and spent a lot of my time getting to know the community members here. Yet, I did not figure it would increase the already life-killing problems I had.

In case some of you are not aware, I have been nominated for demotion. The reason being is that I have been accused of lying, deceiving, etc. I'm not going to deny any of this. Instead, let me make you all aware of everything. No lies, no trickery, no deception.

Starting back in September, I had a series of mental breakdowns. Coming from these mental breakdowns were thoughts of suicide, mental stress, and a whole bunch of other things. As time went on, these became worse and worse. It got to the point where things were getting way out of hand. I began to do the things I would never normally do. This includes being rude, and making fun of other people. This is most certainly not my normal nature. I am usually a very kind, respectful individual. Are these mental breakdowns an excuse for my behavior? Not at all. Although I still deny the fact that I am some "troll" at ED (I can even do an IP Check if you like), I admit to all accusations of personal attacks to other people. I will state about everything I did, and tell you all even more things you don't know. This is my apology. By the time you are done reading this, you will know fully what has been going on, what I have done, and why I owe everyone here a huge apology.

Starting with Knowall. Back in October, I believed DarkFuture was not fit for administrator rights. I went as far as to try and get Bionicleboy3000 and Knowall to try and oppose this nomination. Was the idea itself wrong? No. It is the manner that I did it in. I essentially harassed Knowall into removing his support. I showed him private screenshots and conversations I had with DarkFuture, where he was going through a very hard time himself, and was coming to me to help him get through it. He sent me those text messages thinking they would be in private, but I abused his trust and used those text messages against him. Was this wrong? Yes. Was the manner in which I spoke to Knowall wrong? Yes. For this, I apologize. Knowall, you are a fantastic user and I really do apologize to you specifically. I abused your trust to the fullest extent, and I harassed you into removing a comment. I could've simply furthered my reasoning on the RfA page in a kind matter, but I did not. Knowall, I am really sorry, buddy. Did not mean any harm whatsoever, I was going through major hardships myself, but this does not excuse my behavior. I also apologize to Akamia. I tried to get him to oppose as well, but in a more kind matter via YouTube Private Messaging (which is just being revealed to you all now). I apologize greatly for this incident, and I hope you lot can forgive me. I truly am sorry, from the bottom of my heart.

Now, throughout the course of November and December, things just got worse for me. I did multiple things I swore I would never do, some of which, DarkFuture already knows about and chose not to share with the Sonic News Network community. Another specific thing I would like to address: JaketheHedgehog. While his behavior was indeed unacceptable during November/December, my behavior was too. I completely overexaggerated the incident and convince DarkFuture to ban him, saying that since he was the one who saw the insulting PM and received it, he should be the one to ban him, even though he was strongly against doing so. With trickery and manipulation, I convinced him to do it, and he did. This was totally wrong. I should've done it myself, explained it to the community, and been done with it. But no. Although Jake's actions were unacceptable, so were mine. For this, I extremely apologize to DarkFuture and JaketheHedgehog respectively. I also apologize to the SNN community about that. I am really sorry.

This is not all I did. I was constantly making insulting remarks about users behind their backs. I assure you I did not mean any of it, but it was again, unacceptable. These users include Knowall, DarkFuture, SonicTheHedgehogDude, FreeSmudger, Katrins, Syber The Hedgehog, etc. I can share some of the remarks I said to prove I really am sorry, because I am! I hope everyone believes me, because I really am sorry.

Now, I owe one final apology. This is to DarkFuture. My attitude has been completely unacceptable towards him. I have made him feel very bad about himself, and have made him feel like I quote a "monster". This is unacceptable, as I was really the monster, and I am an idiot for acting the way I did. I stressed him out so much! All of this, unacceptable. Although I do not want to get too much into specifics about my relationship with DarkFuture, I want to announce that my biggest apology goes out to him.

I thought that I should tell you all if it isn't too late to say, I am sorry. I broke the glass of our trust... I can tell you all that I would like to put back together these pieces, but they might not fit the same... you won't forget my crimes against the Sonic News Network... I have to live with the shame of the things I have done...

Sonic News Network, you have my sincerest apologies. If you want to address anything specifically, take it up with me on Chat. I truly am sorry. :( thumb|300px|right

Yours Truly,

21:00, January 31, 2012 (UTC)