Mayor Knuckles/Transcript

This is the transcript for the Sonic Boom episode, "Mayor Knuckles." [Scene: City Hall, day]
 * [Mayor Fink is stamping papers at his desk.]
 * Mayor Fink: Habeas corpus ... due process ... [stamps the desk] Oops. Authorization to clean desk. [stamps it]
 * [Admiral Beaverton clears his throat.]
 * Admiral Beaverton: Ready for the fishing trip, old bean?
 * Mayor Fink: Oh, no, no, no. Too much approving to do. The town bylaws won't stamp themselves. [grabs another piece of paper from the stack] Self-Stamping Prohibition Act. [stamps it and holds it up] See? If only there was someone to cover for me. [pause] I say, if only there was someone to cover for me? [pause] So we can get the story started?
 * [Knuckles enters the office.]
 * Knuckles: This is an outrage! A travesty! A plookypluck!
 * Mayor Fink: A "plookypluck"?
 * Knuckles: I made that last one up. Rule of threes, Your Majesty. Anyway, I'd like this important law passed.
 * Admiral Beaverton: [reads it and clears his throat] Henceforth, peanut butter and pickles shall ne'er be packaged in separate containers, as they inevitably wind up in the same sandwich.
 * Mayor Fink: I can help you with this, but in exchange, I'll need something from you. Are you prepared to do your civic duty?
 * Knuckles: [snickers] You said "civic".
 * Mayor Fink: Yes. Citizen Knuckles, I need you to stamp these laws with the mayoral seal between now and, say, 5:30, when the fish stop biting.
 * Knuckles: I'm in!
 * Knuckles: I'm in!

[Later, Knuckles is playing with the stamp.] [Scene change: Sticks' Burrow, day] [Scene change: City Hall, day]
 * Wild Cat: Who's in charge here?
 * Knuckles: I guess I am!
 * [Sticks is sleeping. A loud noise not only wakes her up, but knocks her out of bed. Outside, Wild Cat is using a jackhammer.]
 * Sticks: Hey! Hey! [walks up and knocks on Wild Cat's hardhat with her boomerang; he turns the jackhammer off] Whatta you doing?
 * Wild Cat: The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall. [shows the document to Sticks] See? [Sticks growls and crumples it]
 * Wild Cat: The mayor's office just approved construction of a new mall. [shows the document to Sticks] See? [Sticks growls and crumples it]
 * Knuckles: Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next! [stamps] Next!
 * Fastidious: With whom do I speak about adding a new wing to the library?
 * Knuckles: With me'm. [grabs a bill from the stack and stamps it] Approved. By the way, I believe the proper pronunciation is "libary".
 * Unnamed wolf: I'd like approval for a parade through town to celebrate my half-birthday.
 * Knuckles: Half-birthday approved.
 * Lady Walrus: I think this village should have moving sidewalks.
 * Knuckles: I don't know.
 * Lady Walrus: Do you want to live in a world without moving sidewalks?
 * Knuckles: Excellent argument. Approved!
 * Knuckles: Excellent argument. Approved!

[Later, Sonic walks in.] [Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day] [Scene change: City Hall, day] [Scene change: Eggman's Lair, day] [Scene change: Sonic's Shack, day] [Scene change: City Hall, day]
 * Sonic: Hey Knux. Why are you in the mayor's office, stamping bills into law?
 * Knuckles: I'm doing my civic duty. [Sonic chuckles] Oh, grow up, Sonic.
 * [Sticks enters the office.]
 * Sticks: Who's in charge here?
 * Knuckles: I am. And I'm doing a good job, too. [he picks up a green pencil, draws himself, and stamps the drawing] See?
 * Sticks: You appwoved building a new mall? Next ta my burrow? On my land?!
 * Knuckles: Sticks, Sticks, Sticks. I approve lots of things next to lots of burrows on lots of people's lands. I can't keep track of them all.
 * Sticks: Your recklessness is destroying my home!
 * Knuckles: Sticks, don't worry. You know someone on the inside now. Just write up a proposition and I'll ram it through.
 * Sticks: [screams] Politics has corrupted you! I'm bringing you down, Knuckles! You, and ya goons! [points at Sonic]
 * Sonic: Me? What did I do?
 * [Sticks stomps out of the office.]
 * Dr. Eggman: The trash should have been picked up by now! Where's that garbage man?
 * Dr. Eggman: The trash should have been picked up by now! Where's that garbage man?
 * Garbage man: I want to take a few months off. See the trash in other countries. Maybe get some fancy foreign coveralls.
 * Knuckles: What's the worst that could happen? [pause] See? No consequences!
 * Knuckles: What's the worst that could happen? [pause] See? No consequences!
 * Dr. Eggman: I can't keep looking at this stack of failed inventions. It's bad enough looking at you two.
 * Orbot: Must every random observation circle back to insult us?
 * Dr. Eggman: It's not you. I'm just frustrated about the trash situation, you idiots.
 * Cubot: Apology accepted.
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm going to City Hall! You lugnuts wait here.
 * Dr. Eggman: I'm going to City Hall! You lugnuts wait here.
 * Sticks: We need to stop Knuckles, and get government out of our lives! What has government ever done for us?
 * Sonic: Maintained the fire department. You can't say that's a bad idea.
 * [Amy and Tails nod.]
 * Sticks: Oh yeah, dat's twue.
 * Tails: There's also the sewer system.
 * Sticks: Yeah. I definitely don't want that wesponsibiwity.
 * Amy: And have you tried those new moving sidewalks? Pretty sweet.
 * Sticks: You can make all the good observations you want, but don't come crying to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over ya lives!
 * Sticks: You can make all the good observations you want, but don't come crying to me when Knuckles gets his pudgy government fingers all over ya lives!
 * Knuckles: Next! What'cha got?
 * Lady Goat: Well, it's kind of a lo-o-o-ong list.
 * Knuckles: No time to read the list. Approved! [stamps it] Next?
 * Dr. Eggman: [pushes everyone else out of the way] Hey, Nerples. What's up with the trash collection? You got to...
 * Knuckles: Sorry, Egghead. There's a lot of people waiting. You'll have to take a number.
 * Dr. Eggman: It's out of numbers.
 * Knuckles: Then you'll need to fill out a complaint form.
 * Dr. Eggman: [grumbling] Can I get one?
 * Knuckles: I'd love to help you. Take a number.
 * Knuckles: I'd love to help you. Take a number.